HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED INDENTATION OF THE CODE
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OTHER CAR I GUESS ?
ITS A CDR
AND IS PRONOUNCED ``CUDDER'' OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS/prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE READ SICP
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO
TOO BAD RUBY ON RAILS IS SLOW AS FUCK
BBCODE AND ((SCHEME)) ARE THE ULTIMATE LANGUAGES
ALSO
WELCOME TO/prog/ EVERY THREAD WILL BE REPLIED TO
NO EXCEPTION
This may sound odd, but I think my dog is Gerald Jay Sussman. It all started when I came home from work one day to find my computer with Emacs running with lisp. Odd because I turn my computer off when I leave for work. The next I came home, my computer was off, but my dog was on my couch reading SICP. I swear, he was lying there with the book open. I don't even own a copy. I took it from him and he tried to bite me. A few days later, I got a letter in my mail sent to Gerald Jay Sussman. Some university wanting him to teach a class on lisp. Another strange thing, is that when he barks, it almost sounds like he's yelling 'cudder' for some odd reason. He also somehow burned a CD with 'We conjure the spirits of the computer with our spells' song. When ever I have to take him in the car he has to play it. Can someone help me?
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:24
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!
you think your tough huh?
one word THE FORCED INDENTATION OF CODE.
i have taken out two mission critical applications at the same time in less than 5 seconds i have been training for 3 years.
also enterprise grade best practices.
your compiler might be bigger than me,but i know mine is smarter and quicker.
my compiler is 130 kb pure lean code.
one keystroke and i'll overflow your buffers.
your the one whose a nerd.i can optimize CFLAGS anytime i want you probably haven't ever touched CFLAGS before.
you probably have sex with your computer.
you don't even know me,and you don't want to.
you'll be lucky if your even worth my attention one look at my code and you'll dissappear forever.
though i'd be hapy to humiliate you in front of all your friends.
btw IM the expertest.
i have worked in maine, new hampshire, new york,utah, colorado,florida,bahamas.
never indented my code!
im undefeated in competitive obfuscation of code.
im on my way to IOCCC.
go ahead and come step anytime you want.b*tch
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:25
That was EXPERT PROGRAMMER quality!
I am the 1/0 of my GET.
LISP is my body, and SICP is my blood.
I have created over 999 HUGE programs that you couldn't even comprehend.
Unaware of Python.
Nor aware of Ruby on rails.
Withstood the forced indentation of the code to create many touring-complete programs.
Waiting for an EXPERT PROGRAMMER's arrival.
I have no regrets, this was the only path.
My whole life was /prog/.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:26
If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.
There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.
If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.
6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.
If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature.
Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself.
8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:31
Look at it this way.
On most browsers, you can bring up your browsing history by pressing Control-H. (No, this is not going to become a discussion of werecows.) On Firefox, this brings up a sidebar that shows up on the left side of the window. If you put your mouse over the edge of the sidebar, the cursor will turn into a different kind of arrow. By clicking and dragging it, you can move the edge of the sidebar back and forth. You are, to put it another way, manipulating the border between the normal window and the history window. By moving the mouse, you can increase the portion of the window devoted to either part. In a more extreme view of this situation, you're increasing or decreasing the amount of existence the sidebar has.
Now, let's apply this idea to something more abstract. Look out your window. If you don't live in a highly urbanized area, you should be able to see the horizon. Think of this as the border between the land and the sky. The land and sky are obviously distinguishable thanks to this boundary. Now, if you were to "drag" the sash between the sky and the land, or to manipulate the border between land and sky, you would end up causing the sky to become larger and the land to become smaller, or vice versa. An effect of this might be to cause something that was just on the ground to suddenly be hundreds of feet in the air. Truly a frightening situation to be in. So, look at it this way - manipulating the border between two physical things shifts whatever balance there is in the interaction between those things. Alternatively, by manipulating the border between two things, you can change the manner in which they exist.
Still, this isn't *that* abstract, since it's still dealing with real things in the real world. Many believe that in this world, there are those things that are true, and those that obviously aren't. This divides reality into two extremes: truth and falsehood. But, since we have two extremes, logically one can imagine a boundary between those two extremes - the border between truth and lies. If one were to manipulate this border, suddenly things that were pure fantasy (flying pigs, for the sake of argument) have become reality - or things from reality have ceased to exist. This is how Yukari is said to have invaded the moon - by manipulating the border between truth and lies, as applied to the reflection of the moon on a pond, she was able to make the reflection of the moon into a manifestation of the actual moon, and so send her youkai army onto it. This is what's truly amazing about Yukari's power - the ability to manipulate the border between completely abstract concepts allows her to fundamentally change reality as we know it (at least in terms of two abstract concepts).
You are kidding arent you ?
Are you saying that this linux can run on a computer without windows underneath it, at all ? As in, without a boot disk, without any drivers, and without any services ?
That sounds preposterous to me.
If it were true (and I doubt it), then companies would be selling computers without a windows. This clearly is not happening, so there must be some error in your calculations. I hope you realise that windows is more than just Office ? Its a whole system that runs the computer from start to finish, and that is a very difficult thing to acheive. A lot of people dont realise this.
Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to achieve. IBM tried, and spent a huge amount of money developing OS/2 but could never keep up with Windows. Apple tried to create their own system for years, but finally gave up recently and moved to Intel and Microsoft.
Its just not possible that a freeware like the Linux could be extended to the point where it runs the entire computer fron start to finish, without using some of the more critical parts of windows. Not possible.
I think you need to re-examine your assumptions.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:39
Consider this: A pack of wild Niggers.
Savage, slavering Niggers nearing your white home. Trampling your white lawn. Raping your white daughter.
And you can't do shit since they're savages. The Nigger leader grabs your wife and fucks her with his shaman stick.
The primal Niggers finally dominate your household. They watch barbaric shows on TV and you are forced to be their slave.
Such is the downfall of White Man.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:40
Consider this: a pack of civilized white people.
Polite, mild-mannered white people nearing your shitty apartment. Lightly stepping on your unkept lawn. Greeting your black daughter. And you can't do shit since you're a lazy nigger. The white leader shakes hands with your wife and entertains her with his jokes. The superior white people finally sit down in your household. They watch interesting shows on TV and you are forced to continue being a nigger.
Such is the downfall of niggers.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:40
Consider this: A pack of uncouth louts.
Unloungelike, brutish louts nearing your /lounge/ home. Eating your /lounge/ pancakes. Sipping your /lounge/ whiskey.
And you can't do shit since they're ill-mannered. The lout leader grabs your textboard and spams it with his kopipe.
The belligerent louts finally dominate your BBS. They post barbaric threads and you are forced to be their slave.
Such is the downfall of /lounge/.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:41
Consider this: A pack of wild Autistic Niggers.
Socially inept, slavering Autistic Niggers nearing your white home. Dwelling in your white basement. Ignoring your white daughter.
And you can't do shit since they're autists. The Autistic Nigger leader grabs your wife and forces her to play Dungeons and Dragons.
The primal Autistic Niggers finally dominate your basement. They play Minecraft on your PC and you are forced to bring them Mountain Dew.
Such is the downfall of White Man.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:42
I am the 1000 of my GET.
VIP is my body, and kopipe is my blood.
I have created over 999 posts.
Unaware of /b/.
Nor aware of fchan.
Withstood bans to create many flamewars.
Waiting for one's arrival.
I have no regrets, this was the only path.
My whole life was Unlimited Troll Works.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:43
So I was just taking a shit, right, when I realize I'm massively constipated from the three Taco Bell burritos I had last night. There was no way that massive log was going to ease its way out of my o-ring without shredding it to bits. It felt like the shit was coming out sideways. I was petrified, scared to move as the shit eased its way half out of my stressed sphincter. Then, the unimaginable happened: it got stuck.
I slowly moved off the toilet to the cabinent to get a tube of KY-Jelly out of it; a rather strange sight with a giant brown pickle hanging out of my ass. I quicly applied some lube to my fingers and circled the hard turd with a blob of it, hoping that the lubrication may loosen the strain. Slowly, the turd began to give way, and I used my already lubed hand to slightly tug the shit out of my ass. My fingers slowly dug into the concrete-like turd, and with a loud pop and a sharp pain, the 'thing' was finally defecated. I plopped it into the toilet and unfortunately realized there was more on the way. I stuck my lubed finger up my anus to probe, and I felt yet another hard peice of shit. Not thinking about the pain, I stuck another two fingers up my sphincter and grabbed hold of the feces. I pulled it out much like the last one. Yet another turd formed in line in my anus, and I inserted my entire fist into my anus and pulled out the stringy piece of half-digested Taco Bell "food." The gray cheese looked perversely delicious among the rest of the brown mud. I slowly plucked a piece of the cheese off the turd and guided it into my mouth; the taste was amazing. I licked the shit off all my digits rapidly, and began plunging my hand into my anus for more.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:46
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WAREHOUSE. I HAVE READ TAOCP MANY TIMES WHILE PRODDING YOUR MOTHER WITH MY GIGANTIC MEAT SWAB AND MAKING HER CUM MULTIPLE TIMES OVER MY PERSIAN RUG. WHILE THE MIXTURE OF MY MAN JUICE AND HER VAGINAL FLUID LEFT QUITE A STAIN ON THE RUG, FRET NOT. SHE REPAID FOR THE DAMAGE BY HAVING ME SHIT DOWN HER THROAT AND THEN PEEING ON MY FACE. I GUARANTEE IT.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:48
i am a computer spirit. i am conjuerd w/ spells. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will find your car and transform it into a cdr.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:48
I am a normal girl.
I have a best friend who always do kindness to me.
We were in girls High school. [I'm a asian. So not good at English.]
She invited me her home. So I go to her house.
There was her young brother, and Alzheimered grandma in.
We eat and chat.....
When I got tired, she said "I think you should take a nap." I never distrust her.
So I take a nap in her parents room. [She take me there.]
I lie down, and she lie down next to me. [I don't know Why she lie down next to me in that moment.]
That was the disaster.
I close my eyes, but suddenly she forced deep kiss to me. I was so frightened. I kick and struggled, but she was stronger then me. She use her power to bind me. So I could'nt resistance.
She whisper me that I resistance to her, she will gonna kill me.[She try to Breake my neck that moment.] I was bowed down with fear.
AND SHE RAPE ME.
I can't explanation this very clearly.
She threat me a year, and still even now.
I have to graduat high school to go university.
But I am so scared, I can't tell my family.
I was tell my class teacher in charge.
But She said, THAT IS VERY NOLMAL ADOLESCENCE IN YOUR AGE, JUST TRY TO MAKE UP WITH HER.
So I just give up. She said me "Just try to tell others, nobody can't help you. No one believe you. You don't have any proof. And I'm very model student in school anyway."
she said to me "You keep continue to come school? Are you stupid[She always use badwords to me, so I will not write that on here]?"
And also said that "You are never be free. When you go to a university or society. I can find you whenever I want, So I will rape you again and again, just looking forward to seeing you."
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:48
In the staply world, a staply went to a museum and saw an enslaved clippy. A sign said that if you buy a clippy, it is "guaranteed" to amuse you. (Holding disdain for clippys, the staply believed it could outperform the clippy at making paperclips and would get amusement this way.) So the staply bought a clippy and went to its domicile.
The staply then competed with the clippy on making paperclips but the amusement for the staply was not to be found. No matter how much the staply stacked the experiment in favor of the staply, the clippy outperformed. Frustrated at this experiment, the staply returned to the museum and asked for a refund.
The museum owner listened to the staply's explanation and said, "Wait, wait, calm down, I'll refund your money, but first, let me ask you something: how much of your life have you spent optimizing your ability to make paperclips?"
The staply replied, "Less than a day, of course! The stupidest of beings understands the relative superiority of making staples, and I devote my efforts to no less!"
The museum owner sagely reasoned, "Well, that clippy has spent its entire life maximizing paperclips."
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:48
I have to wank and wank and wank when I see a girl's knickers up her skirt. I need to see young girl's up skirt knickers so much.
When I see up a girl's skirt and look at her knickers I can't stop myself from wanking and wanking.
My fantasy is that a little girl lifts her skirt or bends over to let me see her knickers. Then she opens her legs for me to wank and wank onto her panties while she watches me.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:48
The reason why azns are less ashamed of their waifu collections than in the west is because parents like it when their son shows an interest in girls-having a son with 200 pictures of hatsune miku his bedroom, to the parents, just means he's got women on his mind and will likely end up producing grandchildren once his life reaches that point lol where he starts socializing with women openly and dating. Anon I'm asking you to agree with me here; Yes.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:49
Homosexuals account for a disproportionate number of hepatitis cases: 70-80% in San Francisco, 29% in Denver, 66% in New York City, 56% in Toronto, 42% in Montreal, and 26% in Melbourne.
37% of homosexuals engage in sadomasochism, which accounts for many accidental deaths. In San Francisco, classes were held to teach homosexuals how to not kill their partners during sadomasochism.
41% of homosexuals say they have had sex with strangers in public restrooms, 60% say they have had sex with strangers in bathhouses, and 64% of these encounters have involved the use of illegal drugs.
Depending on the city, 39-59% of homosexuals are infected with intestinal parasites like worms, flukes and amoebae, which is common in filthy third world countries.
The median age of death of homosexuals is 42 (only 9% live past age 65). This drops to 39 if the cause of death is AIDS. The median age of death of a married heterosexual man is 75.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:50
I am far from an expert at Python, but I have done a couple of semi-serious projects in the language and will try to recall specifically what I didn't like.
- Everything you write will be open source. No FASLs, DLLs or EXEs. Developer may want to have control over the level of access to prevent exposure of internal implementation, as it may contain proprietary code or because strict interface/implementation decomposition is required. Python third-party library licensing is overly complex. Licenses like MIT allow you to create derived works as long as you maintain attrubution; GNU GPL, or other 'viral' licenses don't allow derived works without inheriting the same license. To inherit the benefits of an open source culture you also inherit the complexities of the licensing hell.
- Installation mentality, Python has inherited the idea that libraries should be installed, so it infact is designed to work inside unix package management, which basically contains a fair amount of baggage (library version issues) and reduced portability. Of course it must be possible to package libraries with your application, but its not conventional and can be hard to deploy as a desktop app due to cross platform issues, language version, etc. Open Source projects generally don't care about Windows, most open source developers use Linux because "Windows sucks".
- Probably the biggest practical problem with Python is that there's no well-defined API that doesn't change. This make life easier for Guido and tough on everybody else. That's the real cause of Python's "version hell".
- Global Interpreter Lock (GIL) is a significant barrier to concurrency. Due to signaling with a CPU-bound thread, it can cause a slowdown even on single processor. Reason for employing GIL in Python is to easy the integration of C/C++ libraries. Additionally, CPython interpreter code is not thread-safe, so the only way other threads can do useful work is if they are in some C/C++ routine, which must be thread-safe.
- Python (like most other scripting languages) does not require variables to be declared, as (let (x 123) ...) in Lisp or int x = 123 in C/C++. This means that Python can't even detect a trivial typo - it will produce a program, which will continue working for hours until it reaches the typo - THEN go boom and you lost all unsaved data. Local and global scopes are unintuitive. Having variables leak after a for-loop can definitely be confusing. Worse, binding of loop indices can be very confusing; e.g. "for a in list: result.append(lambda: fcn(a))" probably won't do what you think it would. Why nonlocal/global/auto-local scope nonsense?
- Python indulges messy horizontal code (> 80 chars per line), where in Lisp one would use "let" to break computaion into manageable pieces. Get used to things like self.convertId([(name, uidutil.getId(obj)) for name, obj in container.items() if IContainer.isInstance(obj)])
- Crippled support for functional programming. Python's lambda is limited to a single expression and doesn't allow conditionals. Python makes a distinction between expressions and statements, and does not automatically return the last expressions, thus crippling lambdas even more. Assignments are not expressions. Most useful high-order functions were deprecated in Python 3.0 and have to be imported from functools. No continuations or even tail call optimization: "I don't like reading code that was written by someone trying to use tail recursion." --Guido
- Python has a faulty package system. Type time.sleep=4 instead of time.sleep(4) and you just destroyed the system-wide sleep function with a trivial typo. Now consider accidentally assigning some method to time.sleep, and you won't even get a runtime error - just very hard to trace behavior. And sleep is only one example, it's just as easy to override ANYTHING.
- Python's syntax, based on SETL language and mathematical Set Theory, is non-uniform, hard to understand and parse, compared to simpler languages, like Lisp, Smalltalk, Nial and Factor. Instead of usual "fold" and "map" functions, Python uses "set comprehension" syntax, which has overhelmingly large collection of underlying linguistic and notational conventions, each with it's own variable binding semantics. Using CLI and automatically generating Python code is hard due to the so called "off-side" indentation rule (aka Forced Indentation of Code), also taken from a math-intensive Haskell language. This, in effect, makes Python look like an overengineered toy for math geeks. Good luck discerning [f(z) for y in x for z in gen(y) if pred(z)] from [f(z) if pred(z) for z in gen(y) for y in x]
- Python hides logical connectives in a pile of other symbols: try seeing "and" in "if y > 0 or new_width > width and new_height > height or x < 0".
- Quite quirky: triple-quoted strings seem like a syntax-decision from a David Lynch movie, and double-underscores, like __init__, seem appropriate in C, but not in a language that provides list comprehensions. There are better ways to mark certain features as internal or special than just calling it __feature__. self everywhere can make you feel like OO was bolted on, even though it wasn't.
- Python has too many confusing non-orthogonal features: references can't be used as hash keys; expressions in default arguments are calculated when the function is defined, not when it’s called. Why have both dictionaries and objects? Why have both types and duck-typing? Why is there ":" in the syntax if it almost always has a newline after it? The Python language reference devotes a whole sub-chapter to "Emulating container types", "Emulating callable Objects", "Emulating numeric types", "Emulating sequences" etc. -- only because arrays, sequences etc. are "special" in Python.
- Python's GC uses naive reference counting, which is slow and doesn't handle circular references, meaning you have to expect subtle memory leaks and can't easily use arbitrary graphs as your data. In effect Python complicates even simple tasks, like keeping directory tree with symlinks.
- Patterns and anti-patterns are signs of deficiencies inherent in the language. In Python, concatenating strings in a loop is considered an anti-pattern merely because the popular implementation is incapable of producing good code in such a case. The intractability or impossibility of static analysis in Python makes such optimizations difficult or impossible.
- Problems with arithmetic: no Numerical Tower (nor even rational/complex numbers), meaning 1/2 would produce 0, instead of 0.5, leading to subtle and dangerous errors.
- Poor UTF support and unicode string handling is somewhat awkward.
- No outstanding feature, that makes the language, like the brevity of APL or macros of Lisp. Python doesn’t really give us anything that wasn’t there long ago in Lisp and Smalltalk.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:50
Everything in Linux sucks. For example, when I close "Nautilus" file manager window, it doesnt terminate program, but puts it in background. Why? To leak more CPU and memory!
The xfce4-menu-plug already ate 140 megabytes of memory, and it's just a toolbar! When I try to `kill -S gnome-screensaver`, it blanks whole screen and only reboot helps. Gedit (a simple notepad) takes whooping 60 megabytes to edit a few lines of text and it loads about 10 seconds! Opening a directory in files browser sometimes takes minutes, due to its file type detection feature (it scans and makes thumbnail of every file). Thousands of thumbnails stored inside ~/.thumbnails slow down image viewer startup by about 20 seconds. Invoking `cat` on a binary file damages terminal output and sometimes crashes bash.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 16:50
HI, I AM G.J. SUSSMAN, FOUNDER AND CEO OF SICP. WHILE LAMENTING OVER THE LACK OF FORCED INDENTATION IN SCHEME LAST NIGHT, YOUR MOTHER CALLED ME AND ASKED ME IF I WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO HELP HER WITH A SICP EXERCISE; BEING THE FINE GENTLEMAN THAT I AM, I PUT ON MY DAPPER WIZARD HAT AND ROBE AND WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE. ROGUISHLY SNEAKING THROUGH THE BACK DOOR I KNOCKED HER OUT WITH A CUDDER AND TORE THE GARMENTS OFF HER RIPE BODY. HER FULL BREASTS AROUSED ME TO THE DEGREE THAT MY EVALUATOR STOOD STRAIGHT IN THE TIME IT TAKES TO DO A LAZY COMPUTATION. NOT BEING ABLE TO CONTAIN MYSELF, I SHOVED MY RIGHTEOUS SUSSBOY IN THE MANHOLE OF THE FINE LASS. IT WAS OBVIOUSLY NOT DESIGNED FOR A MAN OF MY OBSCENE GIRTH, AND SHE WOKE UP FROM THE PAIN. NOT CARING ABOUT ANYTHING BUT MY MANLINESS, I CONTINUED THRUSTING AS SHE FAINTED AGAIN FROM THE AGONIZING TORTURE OF THE TRIPEDAL CREATURE LOOMING OVER HER. IN A MINUTE I WAS ABOUT TO EXPLODE WITH THE FORCE OF SEVERAL ANGRY SUPERNOVAS IN A SACK, . THE FLOOD CAME, AND LIKE MOSES I CLEAVED HER IN HALF FROM THE SHOCK. NOT STOPPING, I SHOVED THE HOSE IN HER EYE SOCKET AND LET THE REST OF THE SAUCE ENTER HER SKULL. AFTER THAT I WENT HOME AND READ SICP UNTIL I FELL ASLEEP. I GUARANTEE IT.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:50
Niggers speak this kind of pidgin that brainwashed liberal idiots like to call "ebonics". They pretend it is another dialect and not a low-class, gutter, illiterate bastardization of American English. Thats funny. You realize that no other racial or ethnic group still has a discernable "accent" after 3 natural-born generations? In 200+ years how many generations of negroes has there been in America? Oh and get this. It's not just American blacks. In Spanish-speaking countries the niggers don't speak correct Spanish either and have also been there for many generations. They're just stupid and less capable. Why not admit it?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:51
Capitalism, capitalism. How do I loath thee? Let me count the ways….
Few would argue with the conclusion that greed, selfishness, ruthlessness, and egocentrism are qualities that all of us humans possess, to varying degrees of course. Equally compelling is the argument that nearly all of us are capable of acting with kindness, compassion, justice, honesty, generosity, and empathy. Yet despite the sweeping epidemic of unnecessary suffering caused by torrential waves of avarice, self-centeredness, and brutality, our filthy moneyed elite, their well-compensated sycophants, and countless millions of deeply inculcated members of the working class defend the sacred cow of capitalism with the zeal of the Sicarii. What a brilliant way to conduct human affairs and organize ourselves socioeconomically! Not only do we embrace the inevitability of our human frailties; we willfully and perpetually embrace a system that ensures that the worst elements of the human psyche will predominate AND which amply rewards those who act the most reprehensibly.
One of the idiocies advanced as a logical argument to justify the continued existence of the abomination of capitalism is that while it may be flawed, it is still better than any alternative. If capitalism is the best humanity can do, it's time to cash in our chips and leave Earth to our non-human animal counter-parts. They may not have opposable thumbs and formidably sized frontal lobes, but at least they don't engage in the systematic destruction of themselves and the rest of the planet. However, before we act too hastily and engage in mass seppuku, perhaps it would make more sense to implement a mass reorganization of our socioeconomic structure, basing the new paradigm on far more egalitarian, sustainable, democratic, just, and rational principles. Or we could just keep destroying each other and the fucking planet….
Perhaps most disturbing of all is the way in which capitalism's relentless advocates have managed to bamboozle billions of people into equating it with democracy. Diabolical to its core, but sheer genius nonetheless. Concluding that capitalism and democracy are somehow synonymous is a bit like saying that Dick Cheney and the milk of human kindness relate to one another in even a very remote fashion. (Have you seen the myriad pictures of his evil grimaces floating around the Internet? Despicable creature that he is, he doesn't even attempt to mask his malevolence). Capitalism is naturally hierarchical, authoritarian, and brutal. Corporations, the legal vehicles for the plutocracy to maximize their profits while minimizing liability, are structured as tyrannies. What the hell is democratic about dog eat dog, law of the jungle, and every man for himself? Besides, if we uber-capitalists here in the United States are truly "democratic," and we "elected" a depraved idiot like W. to what is ostensibly the most powerful position in the world, what does that say about us?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:51
I like Konata because she is a otaku like me, except she has friends. Oh god I wish I had friends too ;_;
Konata also likes videogames and she is kawaii. And there are lesbians in the show and that's good because I like lesbians and I will never have a girlfriend. Why am I such a loser?!
Konata is like my dreamgirl she has a :3 face I love that. She is also nice why aren't real girls nice!? I got dumped a lot of times but I love konata and she wouldn't dump me because she's so nice and cool.
We would play videogames all day and watch Naruto and other cool animes on TV, and I would have sex with her because sex is so good. I wish I could have sex with a girl.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:52
Oh you get me ready in your 56 chevy
Why dont we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter on my front porch
The dandy lion sun scorching,
Like a glass of cold lemonade
Where is my renchan
Where is my school girl loli
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the lolis gone
Why dont you stay the evening
Kick back and watch the tv
And Ill fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from the long day at school
Would you like chocolate in your milk my sweet
I will pay all the bills if you raise the children
I am wearing my new dress tonight
But you dont even notice me
Say our goodbyes (3 times)
We finally sold the chevy
When we had another baby
And you took that job in tennessee
You made friends at the farm
And you joined them at the bar
Almost every single day of the week
You will wash the dishes while I go have a beer
Where is my 12chan
Where is my night time loli
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the lolis gone
Where is my loli maid
Where is her shiny broom
Where is my lonely loli
Where have all the lolis gone
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:52
Eval and apply and read-eval-print loops
Conses and cdrs and closures and stack groups
Sussman and Abelson and their teachings
These are a few of my favourite things
Structures and data and big O notation
Factorisation and search and collation
Linked lists and quivers and matching on strings
These are a few of my favourite things
Functions and sets that can both be a number
Hotels where infinite lodgers may slumber
Monoids and functors and vectors and rings
These are a few of my favourite things
When the core dumps
When the bugs show
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favourite things
And then I don't feel so bad
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:52
yea making fun of me is so funny, so funny i forgot to laugh. I'm tired of getting dogged on by you faggots all the time whenever i respond to anything or any thread. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so i can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. yea you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but i bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this.Don't want anymore problems....didn't think so faggots. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is.? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin pieces of unpatriotic SHIT.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:52
That feel when you have to leave your house for food and two normals laugh when you walk past them at the grocery store then you go to a fast food restaurant for lunch and a random black women on the other side of the counter laughs when she makes eye contact with you. That feel when you're not let in on the joke.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:53
OMG THANKS GUY I WAS TOTALLY FUCKING LOST BUT NOW THAT U'V POSTED THAT IM TOTALLY GOING TO GO THERE AND NEVER COME BACK UNTIL I GET LOST NEXT TIME LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL SOMETHIMES I FOGET WHERE I CLICK AND GET LOST ON THE ITNERNET SEE THANKS FOR HELPING ME FIND MY WAY WHAT AN INFORMATICE POST A+++++++++++++++++++
*MOVES LOL STICKER ONTO UR POST*
THANKS BRO!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:53
they don't even have meowth anymore,
I've stopped watching after the first 10 episodes of black and white.
It's utter shit now, team rocket are fags with no meowth and Jessie has no sidequest like contests, Cilan is a creep and adds no content, Iris is annoying as fuck and a nigger, rehash of original season, yet failing at being a rehash, Ash has caught a fuckload of pokemon and doesn't pay any regard to the utter load of pokemon he is catching.
Fuck pokemon.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:53
10 Reasons why Whites are jealous of Blacks:
1: We make better music. I'll take Tupac over your emo bullshit songs anyday.
2: We have more power. Now that Obama's in office, you honkies ain't gonna be hatin' much longer.
3: We're resistant to the sun. Have fun burning up every time you step outside.
4: We have bigger cocks. Face it- this has been proven by science. It's also been proven that women love huge dicks.
5: We get all the women. Like it or not, no bitch can resist a black man.
6: Our women are better. Aside from being smarter, you don't catch black women cheatin' on every goddamn boyfriend they get. Not that anyone would cheat on a black man.
7: We're just plain cooler. You always see the white kids pretending they were black, but you never see our kids trying to be white.
8: We're more physically fit. We can run faster, jump higher, and do shit you fat cracker-ass white boys could never even dream of doing.
9: We have more fun. Me and my brothers are always out partying, having a good time...while you pasty honkies sit inside, jerkin' off and watchin' your shitty Japanese cartoons.
10: Blacks are better fighters. All of the famous UFC champions and boxers have been black. And you ever see a white man that knew how to use a gun? Neither have I.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:53
I compulsively eat raw chicken, because nursing myself back to health gives me pleasure. I like to pretend that I am simultaneously my ill younger sister (who died when I was young), and the older brother that is caring for her.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:54
Not OP, but I think it's funny how a lowly scumbag like yourself sees himself fit to pass judgement over trivial bullshit. You think you're cool with your minimum wage part-time job at McDonald's and your shack of an apartment? Let me clue you in, bro.
I graduated with a Master's degree (with highest honor no less) a couple years ago. I make six figures, something you can never hope to achieve in your entire lifetime. I have a loving wife and family that makes your AIDS-ridden skank of a girlfriend look terrible beyond belief.
In real life, you would be grovelling to me. Your middle school level psycho-analysis faggotry, unwarranted self-importance, and poor grammar would be nowhere to be found...because you'd be fucking silent. You would know that you are infinitely inferior compared to me, and you would keep your stupid mouth shut.
Perhaps you should take a moment to look in a mirror before coming on a site like 4chan just to start shit and call other people pathetic. Or maybe you're already aware that this habit stems from your own overwhelming insecurity?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:54
Buddhism is not about peace and compassion toward all living things. If this was true, the fucking Tibetans wouldn't eat beef momos (dumplings) for 6 months every year and subjugate each other in caste systems. The Shaolin Temple wouldn't teach martial arts to its acolytes. Fuck, the Japs marry and pass the temple off to their sons as inheritances.
You don't know shit about buddhism and keep attributing it to some feel-good bullshit, and you're fucking wrong.
Yeah, let's say it's wrong to kill another being to sustain you. On that level, plants are just as much "beings" as animals because it is all about intent. Animals that are indirectly killed because you ordered them to be killed are just as dead as if you had directly sought out their flesh.
OH WAIT LA LA LA YOU CAN'T HEAR THIS YOU DIDN'T KILL THOSE FUCKING RATS AND BUNNIES EATING YOUR ALTERNATIVE SUPPLEMENTS
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:54
F you, that's my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an 80,000 dollar BMW. That's my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you f-in' fargots.
ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's f or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision. Have you made your decision for Christ? And action. AIDA. Get out there. You got the prospects coming in, you think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?
What's the problem, pal?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:55
I'm taking child development classes and because the course assumes that everyone taking the CD classes works in childcare, I'm supposed to observe infants and toddlers so I can record some things regarding their behavior. Since I'm posting on 4chan, it should be clear that I do not and should not work in childcare, and thus don't and shouldn't have access to a child care center to do these observations.
However, I can observe via online webcams. I know you guys love watching public Japanese webcam feeds, so I'm hoping someone can post the list of active feeds.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:55
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:55
so i was 15 at the time, visiting my dying grandother. she was very close to death and i was told that this would probably be the last time i saw her. i had a pretty good little visit at the hospital other than this old cunt near hear hooked up to a ventilator, choking coughing and the like.this didnt bother grandma, as she was deaf and we signed to each other. grandma fell asleep, and i still had 15 minutes before the nurses came to end visitation. i looked at this ragged old bitch that ruined my last visit with grandma. i locked the door, shut the curtain between this bitch and grama, ripped the help button off her bed flipped her over and raped her in the ass as hard as i could. she begged and pleaded, but i didnt care, as i finished her ass came loose and i pulled out glorious pink sock. i punched her in the back of the head and as i was leaving, i could hear the pleasant gurgling of blood in her breathing tube.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:56
one time I got these bertie botts every flavor jelly beans like from harry potter
and I caught my two year old brother eating them
and I got all pissy about it and snatched them away
anyway a few weeks later after I had slowly eaten all the fairly good jelly beans
all that was left were the booger, vomit, grass, poop flavored ones and I called to my brother:
"hey wade come here!"
"you want the rest of my jelly beans? I don't want them anymore. They're ALLLLL for you little buddy!"
and he ate every.single.fucking.one. with the biggest little smile on his face.
I feel so bad to this day I could kill myself
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:56
Wapanese are generally though of as “failures” and rejects within their own culture. Social scientists such as myself speculate that it was their failure to gain acceptance within their own culture than has lead many a white geek to seek out Japan’s culture as a surrogate; however, they’d be shattered to know that the insular and somewhat racist Japanese society would be even less accepting of them than the people of their true and native culture.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:57
Thought I'd share it... It's not much, but yeah...
When I was {EXCELSIOR}, and I kinda-sorta knew I was a pedophile, I didn't have a little sister to really express it with. I did have two cats, and they were fine too, but didn't really interest me. Anyway, I would go over to my neighbor's yard, in a semi-secluded area, and make out with their retarded daughter. (I'd make damn sure nobody was looking, of course.) Anyway, so that happened for a while, and I eventually found out that the girl, a 9 year old with Down Syndrome named Annabelle, would blow me if I presented my PENIS to her. So that went on for a while, me doing that and/or making out with her, and one night when I had enough time to do so, I went over to Annabelle, who greeted me eagerly with loud retard wailing, and began making out with her. Then, I laid down on the ground and pulled down my pants, revealing my erect PENIS to her. She started licking it, and I was practically to Cloud 9. I then moved my head over to her back half, and somewhat hesitant to lick her VAGINA, I licked the area where there's little fecal matter and exposed flesh. Somehow, it got to the point where I was on top, and she was still licking me, and I licking her. Then, somehow, she took all of my erection down her throat, and I was just... dazed from the pleasure... I can't even describe how awesome that felt. But if I try, it's basically an insanely good feeling of her tongue going all over my balls. Anyway, so that went on for a few minutes, and then I could feel myself orgasming in her mouth. I looked back, saw part of my head poke from between her lips, and saw sperm on it. I kinda got shocked, and then scared because I remembered that her father is an ex-Green Berret member, and I'd be screwed over if I was caught... so I quickly got up, pulled up my pants, thanked Annabelle for the pleasure, and ran for it.
Yeah, that's it... not much, but the first sexual experience with a loli I've had.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:57
Well, I have to admit that this comic does indeed make me smile a bit. That is probably because I know why the human in this particular comic puts them in the micro.
It's because of the Yukkuris earlier display of despicable actions/emotions such as greed, arrogance, lack of respect for authority, selfishness, ungratefulness and so on. I might even go as far as to say that the reason I smile when they get punished for showing these emotions and/or conducting such actions is that most of the time in our real world people who act like this never get what they deserve and in many instances even get praised for it one way or another. So one might say that reading this is like blowing off steam.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:57
Well, I have to admit that this comic does indeed make me smile a bit. That is probably because I know why the human in this particular comic puts them in the micro.
It's because of the Yukkuris earlier display of despicable actions/emotions such as greed, arrogance, lack of respect for authority, selfishness, ungratefulness and so on. I might even go as far as to say that the reason I smile when they get punished for showing these emotions and/or conducting such actions is that most of the time in our real world people who act like this never get what they deserve and in many instances even get praised for it one way or another. So one might say that reading this is like blowing off steam.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:58
I don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn't do that kind of business. Somebody comes to them and says, "I have powders; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment, we can make fifty thousand distributing." So they can't resist. I want to control it as a business, to keep it respectable. [slams his hand on the table and shouts] I don't want it near schools! I don't want it sold to children! That's an infamia. In my city, we would keep the traffic in the dark people, the coloreds. They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:58
I live in Japan, and it fucking sucks. I made a thread about this a lonnnng time ago, but this bears repeating.
1. Anime and manga are more expensive in Japan. The prices are ridiculous, and it's hard for me to justify buying anime even though I feel it's important for fans to make an effort to support the industry.
2. If you are a girl, you will be groped and treated like shit. I have had men grab my ass in public *7* different times in the past year and a half. My Japanese friends say that women should just grit their teeth and bear it, since if you try to do something about it you will be publicly shamed. I also feel dirty and pathetic when these incidents occur.
3. Office culture in Japan is...intense. You are expected to show up at social gatherings even if you do not want to. And at these social gatherings people have the EXACT SAME CONVERSATIONS AGAIN AND AGAIN. I've had like 50 conversations on the power of beer to refresh you after a day's work. You have to say "good morning" every day in a very specific way, and if you don't then someone will approach you and tell you that's not how things are done at company XYZ.
4. The people treat gaijin like shit. Even the ones who try to be nice come across as condescending and rude by American standards. There are also a large number of Japanese men who think gaijin women are sluts and that they can get you to open your legs at the drop of a hat. Fuckers.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:59
For 10 years now I've been living with a secret (or more accurately, a lie) and I've decided this situation cannot continue. I am forced to deny an integral part of myself to friends and family, if it was widely known, I would be unemployable, most women would turn away in disgust at the thought of romance, I would be unable to see many of my relatives and also be perpetually vulnerable to physical assault. I am a girl-lover - what you would call a pedophile. I am sexually attracted to girls from 5 years old (occasionally as young as 3), with the ages of about 8-9 being preferred. For what it's worth, I am attracted to adult women also. I refuse to cope with the secrets and lies that this aspect of my life requires; together with a desire to do some good for those in my situation I have made a plan for ACTION - I have identified a list of people who represent the clearest danger to child-lovers this nation; they are members of the judiciary, individual "vigilantes", particular journalists et cetera. All of the names on this list have caused terrible harm to "my people". They are the targets, I have weapons and the skill and the will to use them. I go forward with this work in the hope that others will follow - may our enemies soon know fear to moderate their hate, I do not hope to survive long once embarking on this path but do not pity me - making this decision has given me hope and purpose that a hidden life would never have provided. Farewell, and when you learn of my fate do not mourn me but rather celebrate what I am about to do.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:59
Rozen Maiden has ruined my life, like it has done to so many others.
Less than a week ago, I thought the premise of the show was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Suiseiseki was just a meme, and I didn't even know any other characters. But then I watched the first episode. And then the second. And couldn't stop until I was done with Traumend. That was four days ago. By then, I was hopelessly entangled. I was in love with the show and the dolls. I started daydreaming that I was a member of the show's cast, or that I had a Rozen Maiden of my own. I suddenly had a craving for tea, so I went out and bought some, and it's all I've been drinking these past few days. And then it got even worse. Two days ago, I watched Overture. Now, I'm hopelessly in love with Suigintou. All I want from life is to be able to hold Suigintou and be able to cheer her up, make her happy again, so I can see her smile again. I fantasize about her becoming human, so I can go out with her, make sweet, sweet, love to her, and marry her and have a happy life with my dear Suigintou. The show's given me other side effects, too, which keep getting worse. Whenever I see porn or hentai now, all I can think is "no dolljoints, not hot." All I can fap to is Suigintou doujins. I see Shinku's face and get in a bloodcurdling rage like I've never felt before. She made my Suigintou cry! I've stopped caring about my car, which for years was everything to me. I've stopped caring about what I eat, except for a craving for Flowery Hamburger. I don't care about any other anime, manga, or any video games. My only realistic desire right now is for an accurate Suigintou doll that I can cuddle while I sleep. I get jealous when I see anyone talk about her or post her picture, and pissed off when I hear the word junk.
Come to me, Suigintou! I'll love you, let me make you happy! You're not junk, let me give you my devotion and love and you'll see that you don't need to be so sad!
I'm crying as I type this.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:59
My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me
The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on
so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)
so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot
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Anonymous2012-07-01 16:59
BAM! TO BEHOLD, A PUBLIC BULLETIN BOARD, BUILT OF BOTH BRILLIANCE AND BARBARITY BY BASTARDS WITH BONERS. THIS BASTION, NO MERE BULWARK OF BOREDOM, IS A BRUTAL BARRAGE OF BLISTERING BULLSHIT, BARELY BENEVOLENT... BUT BEHIND THE BIGOTRY AND BOOBS, BEYOND THE BITTER BROADCASTS OF BRAGGING BUFFOONS: HERE BE THE BODY POLITIC. A BROTHERHOOD OF BLASPHEMY, BLESSED WITH MORE BALLS THAN BRAINS, BATTLING THE BLAND, THE BOGUS, THE BENIGN. BEDLAM? BRING IT ON. BUT I BABBLE... BETTER TO BE BRIEF. YOU MAY CALL ME /B/.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:00
Because JPEGs are more heavily compressed than other image formats, their information is more volatile and likely to expand at high speed through an unchecked buffer, poorly allocated resource or any other available system space. I'd guess you're probably losing image data through one of these means.
You see, when you load a JPEG into memory, the EXtra colour Information Format (EXIF) header is loaded into RAM in order to prepare the video prebuffer for the incoming high-speed flow of colour information from the uncorked JPEG. If your bus isn't ready for this information, the rapidly decompressing file information can flow through other parts of your system.
Ordinarily this isn't a problem: as a matter of fact, JPEG was designed for this sort of thing. Older computers couldn't handle the explosive power behind the fledgeling image decompression algorithm, so rather than fight it, image experts invented the Jampacked Picture Extraction and Gathering (JPEG) protocol. They cleverly decided to allow the image data to spray wherever it would, knowing that after the extraction phase would send raw data all over the inside of the computer, the gathering phase would locate it all and reassemble it into an image. With the advent of faster computers the delay between spray and collection is so small as to be unnoticeable, while newer and bigger video cards are more capable of withstanding the onslaught of colours.
Still, the primary weakness of this algorithm is the haphazard placement of decompressed data. There's just too much of it to channel through normal means, so any loss of data containment results in corrupted images. In your case, it would appear that you're losing image data through the empty hole where your goddamned shift key should be.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:00
Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and Hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I`m not attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won`t like it but If I see hentai I`m all in for it. Since I`m a christian I`m wondering if God made me this way for punishment or something, I don`t blame him at all. He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or hide this secret from them? I`m looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra and panties and I`m hard as heck! But is this a sin?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:00
Yeah, and thats great and all, but how about we spend more of our public resources on fixing earth rather than useless trivia like this. Like, I don't know, reversing the government spending trend. If this data (and I call it data, because it isn't useful enough to be called knowledge), were good for anything, then why doesn't the private industry seem interested in it. This type of research is just welfare for otherwise bright individuals who decided to get an ivory tower education so they could spend their lives on meaningless pursuits.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:01
Long story short.. I am 19, she is 13. There is nothing malicious about our relationship, we are both attracted to each other and I don't intend to take advantage or have sex with her.
What will other people think if we have an open relationship? Especially since she's my friend's sister and I know their parents and they know everyone I know etc.. How should we go about our relationship? If I took her and her friends out frequently and to dinner for 2 what would people think?
Discuss.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:01
In chemistry class I was talking to my friend, Jack, about a gay pride festival I went to. My teacher, stupid nosy bitch, decides she wants to join in on the conversation. She asks me what I’m talking about so I turned around and her reaction was to make a noise of utter disgust. She asked me to go to the main office and get a different shirt. But being the rebel that I am, I told her very politely “no, if you don’t like it you don’t have to look at it. It’s my shirt, not yours, and there’s nothing wring with it.” She told me again that I needed to change my shirt. I said again that I wasn’t and she told me she would have to send me to my administrator for direct disrespect. So I put on a big smile and packed my stuff up while she wrote the discipline report up.
But the thing that made me so happy that I didn’t give in and change was that as I was walking out the door a girl in my class stood up and started to walk with me. My teacher was kinda pissed and told her that she would get a write up if she didn’t sit down. And this girl, she is my fucking hero. She says: “Write me up then. It’s one more story that I can go home and tell my mothers. And I’m sure my girlfriend would love to hear it, too.” Then she smiled and walked out. I just felt the need to share what happened today
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:01
OK so I cheated on my boyfriend (not totally my fault, I was drunk and he came on to me). My boyfriend found out and got SO pissed, I explained to him the situation but he got aggressive so I slapped him a few times and threw over his TV (to show him I wouldn't bullied. The next thing I know, he GRABS ME and PUSHED ME OUT THE DOOR!!! I called the police, but they said they couldn't do anything due to lack of evidence. I guess this is a victory for misogynists everywhere.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:02
LOL u wish u were HARDCORE like OP
pic related
OP is so bad ASS that he once crushed a kittens head for no reason
lol
ＬＯＬ
he is SO COOL that he stole from walmart
WALMART!
pussies better show some respect
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:02
it's the boy who cried wolf syndrome: conspiracy theory is such a favorite currency of the low iq and not quite mentally sound crowd, that if an actual real conspiracy theory happens, no one will believe it
the effect of all the low iq and mentally deficient wack jobs constantly running around and crying wolf on conspiracies is to basically ensure that any rational and realistic consideration of an actual conspiracy theory is discounted up front
all those constantly babbling about conspiracy theories actually help conspiracy theories succeed, because they hide the tiny signals in a fountain of noise
i frequently laugh at and pour derision on conspiracy theory crack pots. however, i readily admit conspiracy theories are real. its just that they are exceedingly rare because they are so hard to pull off in airtight secrecy. but the dumber you are or the more mentally deranged you are, the more they seem likely, because your fear/ paranoia/ schizophrenia or dim perceptive abilities are unable to see just how incredibly hard an actual conspiracy theory is to actually pull off. how many ways it can fail, and continue to fail, long after the fact. how long has it been from the kennedy assassination. no one, NO ONE, the vast conspiracy has issued a peep about it, even accidentally? no one is still interested? come on! a lone asshole shot kennedy, not some mafia/ cia/ cuban/ whatever plot. occam's razor, my deluded friends, occam's razor
but conspiracy theories do have value in this world: entertainment. they are a frequent part of hollywood movies, because, like alien invasions or superheroes, they tickle our fancy. even though we know such things are impossible (well, those of us who are mentally sound realize superheros, aliens, and overarching vast conspiracies by secret black ops agencies are impossible)
please note conspiracy theory proponents: all the noise you dingbats constantly make about conspiracy theories, help to hide the actual real rare ones. not that that fact is going to change your behavior. because you're stupid and/ or deranged. but carry on, i need to laugh. yes, i know: the chemtrails from the government airplanes and the fluoridated water has completely turned me into a sheep. (giggle)
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:02
Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin
Chocolate Rain
The school books say it can't be here again
Chocolate Rain
The prisons make you wonder where it went
Chocolate Rain
Build a tent and say the world is dry
Chocolate Rain
Zoom the camera out and see the lie
Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say
Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy 'livin in a gate
Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate Rain
Made you turn your head the other way
(Chorus)
Chocolate Rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again
[Repeat]
Chocolate Rain
Seldom mentioned on the radio
Chocolate Rain
Its the fear your leaders call control
Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names
Chocolate Rain
Say it publicly and you're insane
Chocolate Rain
No one wants to hear about it now
Chocolate Rain
Wish real hard it goes away somehow
Chocolate Rain
Makes the best of friends begin to fight
Chocolate Rain
But did they know each other in the light?
Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate Rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate
Chocolate Rain
The same crime has a higher price to pay
chocolate Rain
The judge and jury swear it's not the face
(Chorus)
Chocolate Rain
Dirty secrets of economy
Chocolate Rain
Turns that body into GDP
Chocolate Rain
The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
Chocolate Rain
But test scores are how much the parents make
Chocolate Rain
'Flippin cars in France the other night
Chocolate Rain
Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai
Chocolate Rain
'Cross the world and back its all the same
Chocolate Rain
Angels cry and shake their heads in shame
Chocolate Rain
Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
Chocolate Rain
Which part do you think you're 'livin in?
Chocolate Rain
More than 'marchin more than passing law
Chocolate Rain
Remake how we got to where we are
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:02
Look, you've already lost, there is no point in even trying at this point. I realized that you are a weeaboo and want to try your hand in all the "saving face" stuff you read in that Michael Crichton book, but everyone has already seen you humiliate yourself. There is no going back from that. Your best bet is to just leave 4chan for a while and hope that people forget. Sorry kid, that's the facts of life. Better just cut your loses now.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:03
I've heard a lot of talk here which is anti-Christ and anti-Gospel. First of all, the Gospel is Jesus's word, no exceptions. Secondly, I'm not the member of some kind of cult, I'm an evangelical Christian. We have churches across the country which have no central affiliation. That does not make us a cult.
I am not ugly in the eyes of the lord. i have a boyfriend who will uplift, encourage, love, respect, guide, and be chivalrous. i have a boyfriend who will link arms with me and who will wait to kiss me until i tell him that i'm ready to do so. i have a boyfriend who will keep his commitments, be a man and be on time for things. i have a boyfriend who loves God more than he loves me and his momma combined. i have a boyfriend who's goal is to not sleep with me but to remain pure with his future wife in mind (whether i'm meant to be his future wife or not). and i have a boyfriend who made these "i wants" into "i haves".
Our church has addressed the issue of 4chan.org and whether the Internet should be censored. How you treat me in this thread will directly influence the evangelical movement's position on the issue of Internet censorship. So choose your words wisely. Also, my mother is monitoring this thread along with me on her laptop.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:03
Let's be honest for a moment: real-life is definetly overrated. 99% of the people out there are constantly trying their hardest to socialize and fit into societies self-proclaimed "standarts". Many of them are failing along the road and even if they actual succeed in getting a good job, a non-cheating wife and a nice home, there's no guarantee that you'll end up happy after achieving those goals. You work your ass off for other people and end up having regrets about how you wasted your life with work and shit, but secretly you just wanted to lurk and have fun on 4chan. Then your wife discovers your hidden loli fetish and demands divorcement, takes all your money, the house and your kids and you'll sit on the street trying to kill yourself, because you didn't realize how good your NEET-life was when you still were young. ;__;
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:03
So I see you faggots like to copy my style with all this "bausse, fr@t, B@NK" shit...Listen, trying to be RAMIRO aint gonna make you RAMIRO. You're either born looking like a greek god, or, in your case, you aint.
Now lemme tell you bout this CA$H shit the other night. Me and my boys went and popped bottles in some redneck ass club, i think it was called "8 seconds". After downing about 12 Jager Bombs and a bottle of Hipnotiq (yeah u all wish u could stunt like a real boss) I had to take a piss. As i walk into the men's room, some hot slut follows me in and starts asking me what my name is. I'm like "Look bitch, first of all its Ramiro, second of all I ain't tryin to talk with you unless u jock this dick right now." Needless to say, she immediately pulls me into a stall. Did that bitch give ya boy some fire dome ? You know she did, it was clutch.
So eventually I finish up, and go to walk out and this skinny little chump walks in. He sees the girl stumble out of the stall and starts buggin out. Apparently I just had my way with this punk's girlfriend. he ask me who I am and I tell him. Then he goes "Wait, r u that faggot talking shit about my fraternity on Juicy Campus," to which I reply "Yes I am, now u better bounce cuz I'm about to call my boys in here so they can run a train on your bitch you little SAE faggot."
The next thing I know, this kid takes the most pathetic swing ever at my face. I catch him with an uppercut and he's out cold, face down, on the deck. The funniest part was he was wearing a shirt with some homo ass fish painted on the back... Oh well, I guess we can't all afford Ed Hardy.
After my boys dogged that hoe out, I hit up like 3 more clubs and grinded on just about every hot piece of ass in jersey. The moral of the story: Hate on Ramiro to his face and u will get your shit rocked, and possibly your girlfriend fucked by 5 guys in a bathroom stall.
On the grind.
Ramiro the Champ
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:03
Today, I woke up to water dripping on my head. I tried to curl up on the love seat I've been sleeping on and go back to sleep where the water wouldn't drip on me, but the sound of the drip kept getting to me. That and my pillow seemed a bit damp. So I crawled off the couch and wandered over to the computer my friend is letting me use while I'm here. Won't be here too much longer though, so better get all the internet in while I can. My friend's mother told me if I don't have a job soon I have to get out. I'll be going to live with my mom out in the styx where there's no internet. Not even dialup. My mom's car is broken too, so I won't be able to go to the library either.
Masturbated to Loli and played some video games. I'd watch some anime but I'm saving that for when I have to go back to my mom's house. Luckily at least I have an external hard drive and a laptop that still works, even if it is really old.
Friend got home from his work, and gave me a cheeseburger. I'm hungry all the time now, since I won't eat more than I have to eat to stay alive. Thankfully I do have a rice cooker and a bag of rice, but plain rice gets pretty unappetizing after so many days of it.
We played some games, watched a movie. I just walked to the grocery store to buy a couple 2-liters. Spent the last $1.50 I had left out of the $20 my mom gave me on the 1st of the month.
Walking to the grocery store is the worst thing. I have nothing to occupy my mind, and only Miku to keep me company. Not all of her songs are very happy, let me tell you. I thought about the idea of having a waifu to keep me company, but I don't think it will work out for me. I also give thought to suicide. Pops into mind every few hours or so really, but thats when I have nothing to keep me busy.
Home from the store, and now here I am, typing this to you.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:03
Look at you freaks. All you do is sit on the computer and get mad when I spam your shitty imageboard. If I ever met one of you in real life I would beat the fuck out of you just to teach you a lesson about how you are wasting your already pathetic life. I get so much pussy. I am having a threesome in the shower right now on my waterproof laptop which I made myself.
Me and my boys caught some kid at school with a 4chan lunchbox, we beat the fuck out of him with our huge muscles. I then smashed the lunchbox and pissed on the ashes. I was doing him a favour, he was wasting his life, he will thank me one day. You are all such ugly little nerds. I once fucked a girl so hard that she died. None of you losers will ever accomplish anything like this because you are at home everyday playing video games and fapping.
Oh and in case any of you faggots didn't know, my dad is an FBI commander and my mum is a CIA commander. They let me get away with anything so don't bother trying to report me. My dad even said that if I behave well he will shut down 4chan for me on my next birthday.
I was laid off last Friday for "not being a team player" by the owner's son. So I bought 3 bottle of vanilla vodka and went on a liqour and CP binge for the rest of the night. Both of which I had been clean from for over a year.
Well, instead of properly turning off my computer, in my drunken state, I just turned the monitor off and passed out. Next morning, my roommate decided to break into my room and use my computer and turned it on to be greeted by CP. Or maybe something else happened, I don't know, but he definately found some.
So he decided to blackmail me in exchange of not calling the cops. I give him ~9500$, my complete life savings, and.... and he reports me anyway.
Oddly though, it wasn't the SWAT team raid that I would have expected, just two detectives that came with a warrant and took my shit and told me to not leave the state. There was also evident animosity, it was really professional, even though I was completely shitting myself.
Then my roommate apparently told the landlord, because the locks are changed and I was evicted. I told the landlord that that wasn't right, but she called me a sick fuck and dared me to challenge it in court.
So I've lost my job, my dignity, my life savings, my home, and soon, my freedom. Is there any reason why I should go on living? There is no possible way that this could ever get better. Can some one please give me a reason to not an hero?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:05
Ok theres been a lotta talk now its time for action! Its the job of 4chan to make the initial strike, weakening gaia for the upcoming mega raid from 7chan, being planned right now on temporary forums.
The strike date for the 4chan raid is TOMMORROW NIGHT, Wed. Sept. 27 at 10:00 Eastern, 9 central, 8 mountain and 7 pacific. BUT the entire day we're gonna mess with the prommies, putting crap on their profiles and sending them pms. Then when the time comes for the official raid we begin with the GD. I say we all make several accounts so get your fake emails ready since you gotta have a seperate email for each account. You can usually have mulitple accounts logged in through different windows too. So we get our spam threads ready and waiting and at the hour.....BANG. After we get the gd full of crap we head to the ED and community discucussion. We keep it going all night until we get tired. Who's with me? A list of the so called prommies is coming in my next post.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:06
Hi everyone, I'm wondering if you can help. I have a slightly damaged textbook and am wondering if it would be OK to sell through Amazon's excellent textbook buyback scheme. The story is this: I was sitting in a bus station quietly reading, when the whole place filled up with a large group of very noisy exchange students of various nationalities. They were all wonderful people, but they were also annoying me, and from their very noisy chatter I could tell that they had the same destination as me. I saw that there was another bus with destination Death Valley, so I nudged one of them with my book, nodded my head towards the other bus, and said, "I think you'd better hurry, as your bus is about to leave."
"That not my bus," replied the exchange student.
"Oh yes it is, and you need to hurry. And don't forget to tell all your friends that they need to hurry too."
Well, to cut a long story short, I persuaded them, but in the process one corner of the book got slightly dented. I also accidentally dropped the book while it was open, which got dirt on a couple of the pages. It's otherwise in good condition and is legible throughout. I'd be very grateful for any advice. Does anyone else have experience of books that have been used for nudging?
Edit: In view of the considerable negative reaction to this post, I feel obliged to offer a small apology. Such humour as there is in the post (and it's not meant to be side-splittingly funny or anything) derives from its similarity to a much funnier post, not by me, that led to a long thread that was pulled in its entirety by Amazon. I cannot risk saying more about that post in case this one too gets pulled. The main point I'm making is that if you didn't get to read the original post then this one will indeed seem pretty lame, and I'm sorry that there's not much I can do about it.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:06
hello my fellow fags! lol.
i'm trying to start a local anonymous chapter at reed college. i know about rules 1 and 2 so i'm not sure how i should advertise or recruit members.
how did you join anonymous? any tips for getting newfags who understand the real goal to join up?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:06
Every girl I've been with either cheats on me, leads me on, lies, is apathetic, petty, etc. (Usually a combination of a few of those, or all of them.)
I've never had a real relationship last more than a couple weeks and I've been in quite a few relationships. It's kind of a waste to be honest, I know I'm a great guy all around, including looks and personality, but I've just had the worst luck dating superficial people. And as you can probably tell, it's getting to me. My last one lead me on to believe she wasn't like the others. Long story short: What does she do? She sleeps at some guys place that she used to date and she dumped me after the fact because I showed some concern. She didn't go with that guy, but she thought it was strange how I cared about it. She knew what we were and what kind of a connection we had, she was pretty much obsessed with me, but she didn't give a fuck anymore. She lead me on because she later said to me that she prefers guys with muscles. Yeah. Chicks are just as bad as guys when it comes to superficiality. Anyone who believes otherwise is denying it or doesn't know shit. So it's a waste I think, I don't believe I'll ever date again after this one, as I've found that it is impossible to find a decent heart out there with decent looks (I DO enjoy teh sex, I can't deny that, but some people take it so fucking far gone to find hollywood stars. It's disgusting.)
TL;DR
What the FUCK am I doing wrong to let every single one of my relationships get fucked. Is it a run of bad luck? Are most chicks out there just ill? What else could it be? Am I just fucking cursed?
ITT: Bitches and whores. Success stories would be a nice change, unless you and your partner are extremely superficial.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:07
Femanon here.
I'll get straight to the point: I wanna have two cocks inside me at the same time. The problem is that I don't really like the idea of being sexual with two men at once. The only solution I can think of is to find a guy with two cocks and fuck him.
I realize that the odds are against this, but has anyone here ever done anything like this? I mean how do you even go about finding a dude with two dicks?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:07
Well, I've kind of tried to distance the two things, but certainly it doesn't *have to* lead to sex for her, but it does turn her on.
Baby talking her turns her on, condescending to her turns her on, scolding her turns her on.
To give an example, you know those toy train and castle plate sets they sell on vat19.com? I'm planning to order one for her to eat lunch out of because the idea of eating out of it like she's little really excites her. And she likes baking tiny cakes in an easy bake oven, and cooking in general, and she wants me to build her a big playpen. She likes the idea of being little.
I'd be kind of a hypocrite to complain about most of that stuff seeing as I still collect video games and have a display case full of action figures, but mostly I just think it's cute, I just get a little weirded out if we're cuddling, and we start kissing, and she stops to remind me "I'm this many!" holding out four fingers.
Like, I was really horny last night when we were getting into it, and she was in full on baby mode, and I started towards it discussing show and tell, and how big people show their privates and such, but pretty much immediately I felt unbelievably weird and creepy about it, and I just kept my pants on and went back to cuddling.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:08
I think /sp/ is my most hated fucking board in the fucking world.
You've got Costanza, the worst fucking meme in online fucking image boards. What a fucking faggot. I knew he was a tosser the moment he started talking about putting ketchup in the fridge, but no "OH HURR DURR WE LOVE OFF-TOPIC POSTING SO EDGY AND MODERN". And then he said don't put your ketchup in the fridge, and everyone was still like "OH HURR DURR THIS IS THE BEST MEME EVER". Only when people started adding "l seriously hope you don't do this" at the end of his posts did everyone even vaguely start to come around, and even then, the Summerfags of /sp/ were still all "oh, at least lspl has one cool meme." Well fuck all of you you morons. He's overrated as a meme and as a sitcom character.
Then fucking 'Why?". People hacking olf over this shit because it had a decent run. WELL HERE'S SOME NEWS FOR YOU FAGGOTS, KORNHEISER IS SHIT AS A SPORTS PUNDIT, HE DOES NOTHING EVEN VAGUELY GOOD, AND NOW HE'S RIDING HIS 500 SHlTl'Y REACTION IMAGES. I pity any message board that gets that slapheaded piece of shit.
Then what else do you have? Amerifat vs Yuropoor threads? Power rankings? MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI? Posts that are vaguely interesting for about five seconds and people actually think it's an achievement? Well fuck me sideways.
Fuck you /sp/. You rode your way through the best season of sport ever, had some of the most lenient modding in the modern history of 4Chan, and still you're a bunch of cunts. You are nothing, and I give you a very short amount of time before you faggots fade back into being thought of as being as dreadful as /ck/, it's your rightful place.
Go to hell you sports fans.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:08
I think I raped my girlfriend last night.
We haven't had vaginal/anal sex yet. We've done plenty of oral and mutual masturbation, but she's too afraid of being penetrated. She doesn't finger herself and won't use tampons. I think she was raped as a kid and just doesn't remember, but she says she wasn't.
Anyways, I crushed up a 2mg Xanax and put it in a hot cup of tea. She drank it and got all loopy. I got to finger her after half an hour of kissing, and then while she was all loopy I fucked her.
Now she thinks the haze was just from losing her virgininity, but I feel insanely guilty. Is it rape if she's proud of herself for facing fears of penetration even if I doped her?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:08
Who the fuck said you are decent looking and pretty smart? Under what evaluation standards?
Nobody, right? Maybe your mom, or some teacher who wanted to encourage you to keep on educating yourself, or some girl who wanted to do charity with you?
No, son, first things first: if you are here posting SAP, you are rather ugly and average smart.
Then, given that you are 21 years old already, I have to tell you, there's pretty much nothing you can do to learn social skills or stop being beta, or whatever the hell you want to call it. That train has passed, know that social skills are learned in middle and high school, not in college/work, on the run. That's just creepy and weird for the rest, and will get you ostrizised (actually, it HAS got you ostrizised).
So, keep on being you. That's all you can do. The cards handed to you are these. Do the best you can, but you can't ask for other cards.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:09
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, and 4chan founder Christopher "moot" Poole were both marching arm in arm today at the 9th annual "Fighting Online Antisemitism" seminar in Tel Aviv, Israel. The seminar was blocked off to media but we got the opportunity to shortly speak to both Mark Zuckerberg and Christopher Poole as they were leaving.
"I have feared outing myself as a Jew for a long time. I have been afraid of the reaction from my supporters. I'm no longer afraid to admit I am Jewish. Online Antisemitism is no laughing matter and must be dealt with." said Mr. Poole. Before hoping in his cab Mr. Poole admitted he plans on moving to Jerusalem by years end. His new project canvas follows a strict anti-hate speech policy. By years end Mr. Poole has promised to implement a similar policy on his much more controversial site 4chan.
"Antisemitism is a disease." said Mr. Zuckerberg as he rushed to his limo. "My grandfather died in the holocaust and these cowards have the audacity to claim it never happened online." Mr. Zuckerberg seemed angered and in no mood for further discussion.
Not much is known about the topics of discussion at this years seminar but rumor has it one of the main topics of discussion was the IDF's efforts in building an online army of tolerance.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:09
I have a ritual called "terminator". I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:09
hmm, let's see
I got a guy in jail, accused him of raping me cause I didn't want my boyfriend to know I cheated on him
I drugged my boyfriend with LSD the day he was getting a drugtest for a new job cause I didn't want him to move. The job had a much higher salary than he has now and now he won't be able to get a new job at that company for another 5 years. He doesn't know I did it.
When I was 16 I put weed in my brothers room so my parents wouldn't trust him with the car anymore.
I cheated on my boyfriend with 2 black guys before our valentines dinner
I've used his credit card to buy over 15 grand worth of stuff
we're getting married in may but I'm not sure I can go through with it, I'm having a regular affair with one of his coworkers. So this one is not totally my fault because he also knows about the wedding and hasn't told my boyfriend anything.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:10
This is a question i put to anons across /b that have an utter hatred of Justin Bieber. Now before i start, I'm no Bieber loving faggot. He's just an example of someone hatred is directed towards. So why do you hate him? I mean, we all have to accept, he's a good singer, maybe not the kind of music you like (I'll get to that), but still a good singer. Rebecca Black is an example of someone who can't sing. He got a record deal ect the right way, again not spoilt brat-ish like Rebecca Black who paid for it. Next, i used to follow the hatred thing because i thought, he's probably an up himself total dick, then i saw the advert he did with Ozzy during the Superbowl, taking the piss out of himself looking like a girl, and he's done loads of funnyordie skits (mostly not funny, but still) so i couldn't hate him for that. I know there alot of Metalheads ect who will say it's how musics got shit ect but my opinions always been that music is music. There's no 1 genre greater than another, it's purely taste. I'm one of those people who literally loves pretty much every genre from jazz, to metal, to club anthems and therefore I'd say i have a good taste in music. Because it's a broad taste. I can enjoy so many more songs than someone for example who only listens to pop music. I see arguments on the internet between fans of Metallica and Justin Bieber, and I can sit back and laugh because i can enjoy both and don't have to have stupid arguments over the internet. So i pose the question /b, why do you, if you do, hate Justin Bieber, taste of his music not included.
tl;dr - why do you hate Bieber, not pop music as a whole, but Bieber.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:10
Women are inherently inferior and must be properly managed. There are exceptions to the norm, and these created the feminist movement to begin with, but the average women took feminism and turned it into a means to enslave men. Instead of taking on equal responsibility and doing equal work, women are always being supported by society like lazy welfare recipients who work for fuck all in their life but will make children and yet not take on that responsibility. Every woman (with few exceptions) is like that. They want their cosmetics, jewellery, vacations, and tons of other useless shit and are never pleased because they don't know the satisfaction of working for something themselves. Let's compare suicides; females will often attempt it but rarely succeed and end up getting attention, a white knight boyfriend, and so on out of it. Men usually succeed and when they fail they are worthless shit. A women can whore herself out and has plenty of excuses to support her licentious behaviour; I had to support myself, I couldn't feed myself, my parents abused me, you have no right to judge me! A man, at least a real one, has a sense of honour which would prevent him from going so low. A man would work hard or die an honourable death. A woman doesn't know what honour is and doesn't respect it when she sees it. Women will never work hard at anything; they always want everything easy & painless. A man will get the job done and embrace challenges. When a slut acts like a slut and she is called out on this, she takes it out on the men in her vicinity accusing them of sexual harassment. A man can go around naked but he'll just be laughed at and if any women stare or are turned on by it everyone laughs because society is filled with double standards. Women used to be like dogs; now they're just parasites.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:11
The most common problem atheists have is in their confusing God with "religion". God is not religion, and religion is not God. In fact, atheists are some of the most fanatically religious people on the planet. Their religion is one of the most rigid and exclusionary of all religions, as they regularly demonize, shun, and disparage all others who do not abide by the tenents of their belief systems and practices.
Religion is not simply a set of beliefs in a supernatural power, but is a rigid code of ethics and philosophy, based upon a specific system of belief, practices, or values even resembling, or suggestive of such a system of belief. Atheists often complain about others "pushing" their religious beliefs upon them, yet are some of the pushiest people on the planet when it comes to their own belief system, which they often promote quite religiously.
Here's a little food for thought . . .
What is time? What is its nature? When did time begin? What happened before that?
How big is outer space? Where does it end? When you get to the end of outer space, what's on the other side?
If you atheists are not wise enough to answer these questions fully and accurately, then you are certainly not wise enough to positively and unequivocally make the great and final pronouncement upon the eternal question of whether God does, or does not, in fact, exist.
When I was around 15 I got an account on the Facebook to keep in touch with my cousin in the
US nd of course a few close friends, well that was the plan anyway, within weeks I had almost everyone I knew friended on that site. not everyone though turned out to be friends...
I started going on there lots, I enjoyed being able to talk to all of my friends, look at the photos watch the videos etc. There was one friend I was very close with she was my best friend. We told each other everything, we played farmville together and we did favours for each other. one day I told her my deepest secret of them all and asked for a small favour in return. She was happy and accepted (I was soon to find out she was the worst person I'd ever met) I gave her access to my account to do this one task. and went away on vacation for a week. when I came back. horror. shock horror. at what she had (I should say had not done) She didn't harvest my level 45 crops on farmville. I killed myself and then her.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:12
i need advise about if i shoud tell my parents that david , my bf , is hiv +
david has been a poz for 3 years and im a neg who want to stay this way! but my parents is kinda homophobic and i dont think that they will take it alright. i need to have their aprovable cuz i live with them thou i have my own job and shit but they coul dthrow me out and david isnt ready for me 2 move in
we have had sex lots of times saftly w/ condoumes and im still a neg and all so dont wory bout me! :~)
also please treat the subgect of him disease maturly, it is no is not a joke and is very seriousl. thankyou for the advice
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:13
First you need to make sure you're not gay.
For this you need to buy an anal dildo and some lube.
Before starting, you should make sure to take a shit if you need it, so that there's no poo in your anus obstructing your prostate gland.
Now spread a towel on the bed just in case the lube drips, lube the dildo up and lie down on the bed, and gently start massaging your anal with it. If you're heterosexual male, this shouldn't excite you in any way.
After a while your anal will slowly begin to loosen up. When it does, slowly apply more pressure, very slowly trying to insert the anal dildo into your anus. Again, if this feels more than like simply taking a shit, or if you get a firm hard-on, you might be gay.
When you have comfortably inserted the dildo all the way, and you feel it touching your prostate gland, note if it makes you feel feminine in any way. Clench your anus around the firm dildo. Then begin to massage your prostate gland with it. If you start feel pleasure at this point and a need to fap, you're definitely gay, and should go to church to repent.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:13
I am a weeaboo. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my japanese soul long ago and I am happy together with my real doll (who is a cute 8yo loli!). We don't any friends in and outside of the fandom and I am pretty fat and ugly looking.
But thanks anyway asshole. Go and have sex with your girlfriend while I'll fap to my anime porn.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:14
OP is so visibly upset, that he needs to create a thread on our glorious board in an attempt to raise his self worth.
Come at me OP. I am the fucking pinnacle of man, both body and mind. I attend an Ivy league university, completely payed off by scholarships, with the leftover money used to buy myself a luxury vehicle. My grade point average is perfect point O. After I finish my dual bachelors I will be accepted straight away into the doctorate program. I will have two doctorate degree's by age twenty-five, owe zero debts, and make more money a year than you will in a lifetime. The funny thing is, this is the average /jp/ browser. There are many who far surpass me.
Of course, knowing this, you figure the only way to attack me is the only way you know how, using words of which the meaning escapes you, insult some genre of game no one on this board plays, and using our own image macros to mock yourself.
You forgot your "My face when" by the way, the text suits you perfectly.
Go ahead and reply, doing so only proves my point to such an extent that you might as well just beg to suck my dick and eat my bodily waste, so that maybe an iota of my greatness could pass onto you.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:14
Yesterday two of my girlfriends and I were at a cafe on canal street in Manhattan and things were cool, until the most pathetic thing I have ever witnessed in my life occurred.
I'm good-looking - not to be arrogant or anything but most guys like me. I'm smart too (Asian what do you expect XD). I'm in the second year of an Electrical Engineering program at NYU Polytechnic so I’m not some liberal arts slut either. Now For some reason - obviously because he had some candy-assy yellow fever, this dork who attends a lot of classes with me all three years came over to my table while my friends were ordering coffee and tried to start some stupid conversation. He always had this weird crush on me - probably because I'm Chinese and he's a pasty nerd (he has the sad yet ubiquitous idea that Asian women collectively find beta white guys sexy and are just like the characters they read in manga).
He always pulled this nice guy BS, telling me how cute I looked and how intelligent I was in class – and he always had this blush whenever he tried to look me in the eyes (he just looked at my neck or the floor wtf?).
Anyway, as always I tried to keep the embarrassment from setting in, and just gave him the usual cold shoulder, but he kept on. This creepy little homo was ANNOYING. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I like guys who can handle themselves. This geek kept on with his nauseating nice-guy humor, while his two faggy friends (a sweaty flabby ginger (Its hot as fuck over here so...yah you can imagine) and some uncle tom Jamaican guy (LMAO) ) looked on.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:15
I was just in my bathroom, and I noticed there were two ants running around. They were very small, so I didn't really mind. The first ant was running around and the second ant was following it everywhere. Eventually, the first ant outran the second, and didn't stop or anything. The second ant was wandering around, seemingly confused as to where the first ant ran off to.
This angered me. I killed the first ant for leaving the second behind.
Eventually, the second ant managed to follow the trail of the first. It ended up in the spot where I had killed it, and stopped moving completely for a moment. It didn't know what to do. It was just going around in circles around the first ant.
I feel like shit.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:15
Many people would have you believe that there is nothing whatsoever the Black people can do about racism, that it is something the White people are going to do no matter what, that it is not something the Black people have any control over. They would tell the Black man that he is powerless in this case, a helpless victim who can do nothing to help his plight. It is especially disturbing when this message comes from those who are otherwise a friend of the Black man. Like Liberalism, it is a childish conception of the world that, while well-meaning, renders its believers powerless over their own life experience due to its own short-sightedness.
So what can Black people do to effectively end racism? First, they can stop assuming that White people are inherently racist. To assume that a person is full of hatred or judgment towards others merely because of his or her light skin color is to engage in the very racism they claim to be against. Racism of that sort won't end racism, no more than gasoline will put out a fire. So we can abandon this failed idea and look to the things White people see that make them think less of the Black man. These are some steps that Black people can unite and take together if they really want to end racism:
Stop committing a disproportionate number of violent crimes. When White people go to other countries that also have diverse populations, and notice that the violent crimes committed by Black people is higher than any other single racial/ethnic group when adjusted for their percentage of the population, what are they supposed to think? If you don't want to be regarded as a savage people who were brought out of the tribal jungle too soon and haven't yet learned to cope with the whole civilized society thing, please stop acting the part.
Stop having a disproportionate number of bastard children. This one can't be emphasized enough as it is surely related to all the other points. Black men, if you don't even care about your own children enough to let them know who you are, if you think so little of them, how is the White man going to argue with you? Parenting is easily the most important responsibility any adult is likely to ever have, and you abandon it willingly. What are White people supposed to think when you do this far more than any other single racial/ethnic group? Do you think it makes you respectable? When even their own fathers shunned them, oes it surprise anyone that such bastard children are far more likely to be incarcerated, far less likely to go to college?
Stop glorifying the "thug" image. When you act like your highest and most noble goal in life is to be a career criminal, and talk happily about abusing women, abusing drugs, stealing, murdering, etc., it doesn't make White people think you're a good human being. It doesn't make White people respect you. It makes them think you're a menace, and when the media helps you spread this message and it influences impressionable White youth, it makes them think you're a contagious menace, like any other disease or infestation. Anyone who wants to hate you for your skin color will feel justified by all of this.
Stop blaming all of your problems on racism. Many groups, from the Native Americans to the Irish Catholics to the Chinese to the Japanese to the Jews and many, many others have unfortunately suffered some kind of racial or ethnic discrimination. Yet they don't top the charts on violent crime statistics. They don't have tons of bastard children. They don't glorify being a thug. The Asians in particular have had a great deal of success because they highly value education. The Jews have amassed financial empires that are the envy of many Capitalists. They all have something in common. When they fail, they blame their own bad decision-making. When they succeed, they attribute it to their hard work. They take personal responsibility for their situation, and if it sucks, they work to improve it.
Some White people may hate your guts. They may think you're less than a human being. But no thought in a White person's head forces you to commit violent crimes. No thought in a White person's head forces you to abandon your own children and leave them fatherless. If you won't recognize and deal with your own shortcomings in order to become a stronger people, who is going to do that for you? You may have a scapegoat but it's costing you dearly.
Establish one stable, successful, peaceful, prosperous Black nation. Just one will do. This is a quote from Hesketh Prichard. It's pretty bad, but it illustrates what White people are thinking when they see failed Black nation after failed Black nation. If you want to shut them up, prove them wrong:
"The present condition of Haiti gives the best possible answer to the question, and, considering the experiment has lasted for a century, perhaps also a conclusive one. For a century the answer has been working itself out there in flesh and blood. The Negro has had his chance, a fair field, and no favor. He has had the most beautiful and fertile of the Caribees for his own; he has had the advantage of excellent French laws; he inherited a made country, with Cap Haitien [A once beautiful town on the north coast of Haiti] for its Paris. . . . Here was a wide land sown with prosperity, a land of wood, water, towns and plantations, and in the midst of it the Black man was turned loose to work out his own salvation. What has he made of the chances that were given to him? . . .
At the end of a hundred years of trial how does the Black man govern himself? What progress has he made? Absolutely none."
If you address all of those things and still continue to experience racism, you will then have a valid case against White people. As things are now, White people are merely being objective when they see these things and wonder what's wrong with you. The only difference is that some will have compassion for you, while others will think negatively of you. Don't like that? Work on yourselves.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:15
Yes. They really don't seem to like it here. They're always bitching and complaining about how hard they have it. Maybe they will be happier in Africa. AFRICA: land of AIDS, killer bees, niggers, malaria, and loads of other goodies that have spread to the rest of the world to the enjoyment of everyone.
Let's send all the greasy dirty illegal alien spics to Africa too. I like that better than deporting them to Mexico so they can hop the border again. They like to hop borders? Let's see them hop over the Atlantic Ocean. Just be sure to drop them off right in the middle of the Congo as far away from any towns or villages or cities as possible. Si senor! Maybe the local warlords will pay you under the table to do menial labor for them. Failing that, well lions needs to eat too and that's something you can defnitely help them with, once anyway.
Oh and in the Congo you can drive drunk all you want... if you can find a car to drive. I know you illegal spics never drive unless you're 1) drunk and 2) have no insurance. Might have a hard time finding the staple of illegal spic beaners everywhere: the van with a ladder on top. Hey maybe Africa has hospitals with emergency rooms you can use for your primary health care, you never know until you go there you lousy fucking parasites.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:16
I am 13, and watch longingly at my handsome father everyday. His lean, muscular physique and beautiful dark eyes are the subjects of my shameful fantasies.
He is my only family, and I am his little girl, his princess. He has watched me fall, cry, chunder, scream, sob, but deep down I know he adores me, just as I adore him.
Today I will have him. I want him to love me not just as a daughter, but as a lover. I sit at the dining table, observing him for a while. Then I saunter over and curl up beside him on the couch. I feel his strong arms wrap around my fine shoulders and his lips on top of my head.
"What do you feel like eating tonight?" he asks me, eyes locked on the evening news.
I look up at him squirm, pulling myself closer, feeling the warmth of his body through my tshirt dress.
"Anything.. dad," I breathe, wishing he would at least look at me. My father continues to be gripped by the tv. So I take drastic action, and wrap my skinny arms around his neck, pulling myself astride him, and pressing myself against his chest.
"Daddy," I whisper as I stare straight at him. He has no choice but to look in my eyes, because i'm blocking his view.
"I feel depressed today. Can you hug me.. please?"
He smiles. "Of course."
Does he realise what i'm doing? I grind slightly against his crotch, pretending to shift around. Nothing.
Maybe it's time to do something serious. Dad turns and looks at me through his elegant rimless glasses. Trembling slightly, I take them off his face. There's a fleeting expression of confusion before I lower my rosebud mouth onto his lips. At first he is frozen, the he pulls back. He knows what i'm doing now. Oh, daddy, I love you. Please love me back.
"Why?" he asks softly. Because I want you to touch me. Hold me. He tastes like coffee, as I kiss him again, this time sliding my tongue into his mouth. Daddy doesn't push me away now, not when his little girl is so ripe and luscious. I take his hand and push between my legs. His fingers stroke me through my panties, and I sigh. Now I feel it. I feel his hard tool poking at me as I straddle him.
"Please, daddy, do it," I moan into his ear. Slowly, he slides his fingers inside my panties, rubbing my slick pussy gently.
"Yes.." I cry softly. His hand makes me dizzy with pleasure. I unbutton his shirt urgently, and run my hands over his pale but beautifully sculpted torso. He leans towards me and kisses my dainty neck.
"I don't know why you're doing this to me," he whispers, "but you're so beautiful."
My hips buck against his hand as I come. Daddy lifts my dress up and kisses my body which is blushing with shameful desire. I can feel his tongue teasing my budding breasts and I almost faint, but his wiry arms cradle my back, supporting me.
"I want you to.. to.."
It's embarassing, I can't bring myself to ask.
"Daddy please, just.."
He snakes his arms around my waist, holding me against his deliciously hard body. "You don't have to do this, darling. I love you, but I shouldn't be touching you."
"Daddy please fuck me," I breathe into his ear. "Now."
My hands work at his belt, pulling it loose, then unzipping his trousers. His cock is standing to attention, and I stroke my little hands over his boxers. I can hear him draw in a breath, weakening at my touch.
He tugs my panties down my thighs and I push his boxers down, impaling myself on his stiff tool. Grinding my little hips against him, feeling him slide inside me.
"I love you Daddy," I whimper as I lose my maidenhood in his arms. His lips are sucking at my mouth, sucking at my tongue, tasting me, drinking me in. I smell his aftershave and the scent of imported cigarettes, and feel his stubble grazing at my cheeks.
"Daddy, do you love me?" I ask afterwards. He looks at me with his beautiful dark eyes. I put my hands on his sickeningly perfect face, gazing at his aquiline nose and cupid's bow lips. My handsome father, mine.
"Please, daddy, do it," I moan into his ear. Slowly, he slides his fingers inside my panties, rubbing my slick pussy gently.
"Yes.." I cry softly. His hand makes me dizzy with pleasure. I unbutton his shirt urgently, and run my hands over his pale but beautifully sculpted torso. He leans towards me and kisses my dainty neck.
"I don't know why you're doing this to me," he whispers, "but you're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air."
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near,
The license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror.
If anything I could say that this cat was rare,
But I thought "Nah forget it, Yo home to Bel Air."
I pulled up to the house about seven or eight,
and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell ya later."
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there,
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:17
We're talking about software - programming - NOT carpentry or auto mechanics.
Gimme an algorithm or any other job and I'll implement it in 'C' - I don't need no pussy language that makes parsing text easier (Perl) or web back ends easier (Python) or worry about the mythical write once run everywhere languages like Java.
If the hardware exists, there's a 'C' compiler for it or an assembler.
Face it, all these other OOP and procedural languages were written by dorks because they can - and to put on their resume that they wrote a language.
I'll think I'll use YACC and "write" my own language that just uses profanity and other vulgar language.
For example: x=2+2 would be "x shits 2 fucks 2".
Strings? pee like pee stream (string). Or to access an array would be "x suckme address[0]" (this moves the first element of address into 'x')
adresss PEE 20 (20 character string).
The interpreted version of it will be called Pussy and the compiled version will be called Homo.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:18
IF U WERE KILLED [insert youre name here], I WOULDNT GO 2 UR
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA BAKA THAT KOROSU U!
WE TRUE TOMODACHI
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:18
My first time anal experience was probably the worst sexual experience of my life. I have had many instances where sex wasn’t very good or that I messed things up by shooting a bit too fast. Everyone has those things happen at times. But that anal thing will haunt my memories for the rest of my life, waking me up from a dead sleep, a pale white ghost of my former self. Now, I won’t get into all the details on just how bad it was, but I will tell you that I will never EVER do anal again after this. Just the thought of it makes me cringe and want to hide myself in a closet somewhere.
First off, the first time anal was with a girl that I knew very well. We have been going out off and on for years and thought we would give it a try sometime. I wish now that we had never agreed to any of it. In fact, I wish I could go back in time and force myself not to even bring it up with her again. I can’t put into words just how horrifying it was to even attempt what we did. But I have moved forward on this subject, now haven’t I?
Anyway, to make a very long and disturbing story a bit shorter, we were sitting around watching some movies at my place when I decided I would ask her if she had done anal before. I was very interested in my first time anal experience and was kind of hoping that she had done it before so she could explain to me what to do to make it feel the best it could feel. She was very interested in what I was asking and got overly excited when I started to mention anal with her. I thought this was a very good reaction so I kept going with it.
Now, I won’t go into great detail here but her idea for my first time anal wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. In fact, if I had known what her idea was before it happened we probably wouldn’t have discussed it any further. Needless to say, my first time will be my last and there is no way in hell I will EVER trust another girl behind me with anything that even resembles a strap on or dildo of any kind and that does include fruit and veggies too!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:19
Rationalize all you want. You KNOW the mental verdict that your friends, family, coworker, boss, roommate, crush, or who the fuck ever would reach in a matter of seconds if they were to find out you enjoy cartoon porn pictures of little girls with realistically-rendered bodies. Just imagine saying to them, out loud, the arguments you're making in this thread in your defense, hearing your voice quail and finally go out under their stern gaze and the slight, disgusted quivering of their lip, and knowing that no matter what you say 99.999% of people would reach the same conclusion from what you're into.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:19
The Sussman sat on his wizard throne, still donning his standard wizard hat and
robe, which was still dripping from the shower in which he put them on. As he
stroked his neckbeard he pondered the things which the Satori ponder. Beneath
his feet lay the broken fragments of the python, the foul demon summoned by the
Sussman's nemesis and anticudder Abelson, then slain by the worthy and brave
Haskell nomads.
The nomads were not there on this dark day, however. There had been a rumors of
Guido in the forests of the north, who was suspected to be developing a new,
even more woesome and fail snake to do battle with the almighty Satori. They had
pursued the Guido over 9000 times in the past, only to turn up nothing in each
adventure. That fucking Guido was sneaky like a fucking snake.
The Sussman stoked his wizard beard as he hummed the tune to SICP... today would
be a well-balanced parenthesis.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:20
Read my writings and be stunned by how insightful it is. Bask in wonder at how my words improve your life and make you a better person. Prostrate yourself in awe of how socially keen and cutting-edge I am. I am extremely intelligent and witty; I want those sharp enough to seek me out to know it as reward for finding me.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:21
I've always considered myself totally heterosexual, and never even considered a sexual experience with another guy. That was until I began surfing the net. I began to find sites like this and others which had stories and pictures posted of men enjoying other men sexually. I began to think about it more and more, and for the first time in my life fantasized about other men while masturbating. Since watching women masturbate was always my biggest turn-on, it only seemed natural that the thought of men masturbating might also excite me... I was right.
After almost a year of exploring on the Web and in MforM chatrooms, I knew that I somehow had to experience something in real life. But I certainly didn't want to do it with a stranger.
The person I looked to was my best friend Darl. I would soon discover that Darl fit the description of the type of guy that excited me from my on-line experiences. He was thin, with nice muscle tone, but not considered built, he had dark hair a nice tan and had a completely smooth chest and stomach and hardly any hair on his legs. Even though we had been friends since high school (now in our early 20's) I had never seen him totally nude. I was becoming increasingly curious.
Even though we're very close, I found it very difficult to bring up the subject. I did it as subtlety as possible; one day while surfing the net together I "accidently" stumbled upon the M/M stories posted on your page. I purposely went to the hottest ones and pretended to read them for the first time with him.
I kind of said very casually after reading them that I couldn't believe that they were actually a "bit" of a turn-on.(In reality I was ready to explode just discussing it with him). I asked him if he ever thought about sex with a guy, and after some initial denying it, he did confess to dreaming about it once in a while. I told him I thought it might be interesting under the right circumstances.
Well, the right circumstances came about a month later. We were at his house, it was a very hot day and we were swimming in his pool. I had just finished some laps and I crawled up into the floating pool lounge to catch some sun while Darl continued to swim. As I laid in the very hot sun, I began to watch Darl in the pool. I couldn't believe how much I was getting turned on watching his very smooth body slice through the blue water. It actually scared me a little, because I really didn't want to be bisexual; I love girls.
I couldn't resist the urge though; as he swam by me I extended my leg out, pushing it into his back, pretending to hold him under. I was just dying to feel his skin under my own, even if it was my foot. He swam out from under me and fought back, overturning my lounge bringing me into the water with him. We started underwater wrestling, and I purposely fought hard just to hold on to him. The smell of the chlorine on top of his skin was intoxicating. I was going crazy.
I knew I had to stop or I was going to embarrass myself. I broke free and got out of the pool, grabbing my towel quickly to cover the growing bulge in my bathing suit. I laid down on the lounge for a bit, but I couldn't get my erection to subside.
"Does being out in the sun too long make you horny sometimes?" I asked him.
He laughed, "yeah, of course it does. Hot sun always does ".
I got up from the chair and started toward the house, telling him I needed to get out of the heat. I went upstairs to his room, fortunately his parents were both working. In his room he had a VCR and I knew some x-rated movies. I put one in the machine and began watching it, my cock was so hard I was going crazy. The scene was a girl/girl encounter, but all I could think of was feeling his body in the pool.
"What are you doing?" he asked from the doorway
"I'm really horny, I told you."
"I can see that," he said looking down toward my crotch. "Just go take care of yourself in the bathroom." he said.
"But then I won't be able to see the film," I said, while pushing on my cock through my swim trunks. I could see his eyes were fixed on my hand pushing on my cock. I don't think he knew what to make of it, but I could see that his own bathing suit was rising a bit in the front. This scared me to death, but also excited me so much that I was encouraged to continue.
I slid my hand up my left leg to rub inside my suit, I pretended be interested in the film again, but I couldn't help but turn back and stare at his ever growing bulge. Finally there was no hiding it for him either. I kind of smirked and gestured for him to sit down and watch the film with me.
He did just that, sitting next to me on the floor about six feet away. We were now both rubbing our cocks under our suits and watching these two girls 69 each other on the tv.
The more we got into it though, I noticed that Darl kept looking toward me more than he was watching the screen. This was fine by me; It was all I could do not to stare right at his bulge. I could feel my heart racing and my breathing quicken.
I new somebody had to take the first step, I slid off my trunks, exposing to him my very hard 7 1/2 inch cock. He was totally fixed on me from that ppoint on, and a little shocked that I'd done it.
"Come on," I said, "You mine as well be comfortable,"
Without further suggestion he pulled off his bathing suit, and I got my first look at another guy's erect penis. He was hard, and actually his dick looked similar to mine, I discovered we both keep our pubic hair cut very close and our balls shaved.
I leaned back against his bed and faced him, inspiring him to also turn and lean against the wall to face my way. we were now totally ignoring the movie and concentrating on each other's hands working of our hard cocks.
Our eyes drifted back and forth between each others crotches and the expression of pure desire on the other's face. What turns me on so much about watching people get themselves off is that look in their eyes, when they reach the point of no return; where they must cum at any cost. Darl and I both had that look in our eyes.
Darl brought his hand up to his mouth and licked his palm to wet it and returned it to his cock. I followed his lead. The chlorine had made my cock a bit dry and my saliva made stroking easier.
When a drop of pre-cum appeared on my head, I brushed it with my fingertip and brought it to my waiting tongue. Darl watched with delight, "I thought I was the only one who did that," he moaned.
I was getting close and so was he, we were both laying back now, hips rocking in rhythmic motion.
"Fuck, I never thought this could be so hot," he moaned, almost screamed.
I couldn't resist, "Cum with me Darl". I screamed.
I jumped up and moved closer to him; I didn't consider the consequences, I didn't care, I just had to feel him. I moved next to him so our legs were touching, then in a more daring move I rubbed my cock against his leg. "Cum on me Darl," I screamed.
He too was beyond control and he moved forward and knelt in front of me. Our legs were together and our cocks even brushed together. I wanted so bad to kiss him at that moment, but I couldn't, I also wanted to suck on his nipple but I held back. Feeling his cock against mine would suffice. I looked directly into his eyes as my cock exploded, sending blast after blast of semen against his stomach. He burst too flooding my own chest and stomach. We collapsed into back and stare
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:21
Do you also give them a personality based on their bullet patterns?
For example, the aforementioned mist fairy is the fifth from the left on the first wave of MoF Stage 4's infamous pellet storm and I think her to be a gentle, fair-minded girl who tries to hold back the mischief of the other fairies, because everything else in that stage is raining down on you with no mercy while she leaves a small gap to squeeze through on her wave. It's almost as if she takes pity to the player and allows passage because it would be unfair if there were no openings, and since she is the last one in her wave, it looks like she's flying after the other fairies in a hurry and telling them to not overdo it. Though, sometimes her own mischievous nature takes over and she places her bullets too close to the screen edge, causing a clipdeath when one tries to rush past.
Even though she has ruined many a run, she's precious to me. I can just imagine her popping up behind the waterfall with her permanently wet dress clipping to her body and trying to balance covering herself, shooting her danmaku and keeping the other fairies in check.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:21
If Objectivism seems familiar, it is because most people know it under another name: adolescence. Many of us experienced a few unfortunate years of invincible self-involvement, testing moral boundaries and prone to stormy egotism and hero worship. Usually, one grows out of it. Libertarians and Objectivists are moved by the mania of a single idea — a freedom indistinguishable from selfishness.
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Joseph Goebbels2012-07-01 17:22
Everything is discussed openly in Germany, and every German claims the right to have an opinion on any and all questions. One is Catholic, the other Protestant, one an employee, the other an employer, a capitalist, a socialist, a democrat, an aristocrat. There is nothing dishonorable about choosing one side or the other of a question. Discussions happen in public, and where matters are unclear or confused one settles it by argument and counter argument. But there is one problem that is not discussed publicly, one that it is delicate even to mention: the Jewish question. It is taboo in our republic.
The Jew is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a Jew and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”
One cannot defend himself against the Jew. He attacks with lightning speed from his position of safety and uses his abilities to crush any attempt at defense.
Quickly he turns the attacker’s charges back on him, and the attacker becomes the liar, the troublemaker, the terrorist. Nothing could be more mistaken than to defend oneself. That is just what the Jew wants. He can invent a new lie every day for the enemy to respond to, and the result is that the enemy spends so much time defending himself that he has no time to do what the Jew really fears: to attack. The accused has become the accuser, and loudly he shoves the accuser into the dock. So it always was in the past when a person or a movement fought the Jew. That is what would happen to us as well were we not fully aware of his nature, and if we lacked the courage to draw the following radical conclusions:
1. One cannot fight the Jew by positive means. He is a negative, and this negative must be erased from the German system, or he will forever corrupt it.
2. One cannot discuss the Jewish question with the Jews. One can hardly prove to a person that one has the duty to render him harmless.
3. One cannot allow the Jew the same means one would give an honest opponent, for he is no honorable opponent. He will use generosity and nobility only to trap his enemy.
4. The Jew has nothing to say about German questions. He is a foreigner, an alien, who only enjoys the rights of a guest, rights that he always abuses.
5. The so-called religious morality of the Jews is no morality at all, rather an encouragement to betrayal. Therefore, they have no claim to protection from the state.
6. The Jew is not smarter than we are, rather only cleverer and craftier. His system cannot be defeated economically — he follows entirely different moral principles than we do. It can only be broken through political means.
7. A Jew cannot insult a German. Jewish slanders are but badges of honor for a German opponent of the Jews.
8. The more a German person or a German movement opposes the Jew, the more valuable it is. If someone is attacked by the Jews, that is a sure sign of his virtue. He who is not persecuted by the Jews, or who is praised by them, is useless and dangerous.
9. The Jew evaluates German questions from the Jewish standpoint. As a result, the opposite of what he says must be true.
10. One must either affirm or reject anti-Semitism. He who defends the Jews harms his own people. One can only be a Jewish lackey or a Jewish opponent. Opposing the Jews is a matter of personal hygiene.
These principles give the anti-Jewish movement a chance of success. Only such a movement will be taken seriously by the Jews, only such a movement will be feared by them.
The fact that he shouts and complains about such a movement therefore is only a sign that it is right. We are therefore delighted that we are constantly attacked in the Jewish gazettes. They may shout about terror. We answer with Mussolini’s familiar words: “Terror? Never! It is social hygiene. We take these individuals out of circulation just as a doctor does to a bacterium.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:22
i have been hacking seince i was 7 (im 13 now) my parents supported it, and it has helped many people, i have helped add security to sites by testing security, and there is a whole group of hackers im a part of at hackthissite.org hackers arnt bad, those are "crakers" who are mindless morons, you sir are the idiot, you trust the media, you didnt research you are the bad one. i have hacked many things but, for good. are you saying a site about killing people becuse of there race and supports it should stay up?? is that better than hacking?? i have hacked a site like that and shut it down. think im bad? F*ck you!! i have broken some laws but, for good reasons, the government makes you think hacking is bad because the govrnment fears us, but us hackers dont fear them, so the government uses people whot think there hackers and shows them on tv then, people think thats what a hacker is. hacker acually means "one who is experienced in computers and problem solving" i think i have done good, and that i dont hack like black hats who are morons (pretty much "crackers") i hope i will change your opinion.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:22
Perl is like being molested by your uncle. There's something off about him, but everyone regards him very highly, so you trust him, and then on a family camping trip out at Montauk Point he takes advantage of you. Years later, you accept and acknowledge what happened, but you still refuse to believe that he's scarred you, because that would put him in control, not you, and the last thing you want is a molester in control of your life -- but your denial doesn't make it the truth. You want to believe that deep down inside, Perl is a good person, and you see that Perl has very redeeming qualities, but you sit down to try and program Perl and all you can think of is that camel's hard, throbbing cock.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:23
My 'problem' is following: Love Japan for like 5 years already (also, nope, not just because of Animes). Well, recently I just got in FB contact with a japanese girl (and it was not even intended to make contact, it was by accident) and I'm really stunned by her charming type. She likes the same football team as I do and all that stuff, now there is one fucking problem; She can't speak english for fuck. Seriously, I'm from Germany and my education is not the best, but my english is pretty good, so I'd guess you have to blame japanese schools. She doesn't understand a word I am saying I think, just easy words are understandable for her. Thats why she doesn't reply that often (Still assuming, she probably just doesn't like me). She doesn't even get that I'm actually interested in her, which is very sad. Anyway, I want to learn japanese in the fastest way possible, I've got all the books to learn and the audio for it already from my bro (he brings it in a few days at least). I just want to have a conversation with her so that she actually understands what I am saying, if that means I have to wait 1 or 2 years til I can speak (or write) it a little bit I'm okay. I'm really motivated and as school is fucking easy for me atm (11. grade, probably next 2 years just normal school) I have loads of time.
Question - how long does it take (and how much time did you need) to do that kind of stuff?
Ah yeah, surely there will be some guys who tell me I'm not going to do it because I'm just learning it because of her: Nah. I always wanted to learn it, though nothing got me starting. Now I really feel like I want it, its a passion. And nope, I don't think I have any chances at that girl, but learning a language is in no case bad.
Also, I would be thankful for every tip about learning japanese, especially how to start.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:23
LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY RIGHT NOW:
JAPANESE SCHOOL LIFE IS HORRIBLE.
JAPANESE APARTMENTS ARE HORRIBLE AND OVERPRICED.
JOBS IN JAPAN ARE ABSOLUTELY INHUMANE AND YOU, AS A FOREIGNER, WILL NEVER GET GOOD JOBS, YOU'LL FOREVER BE UNDERPAID FOR THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF WORK YOU'LL HAVE TO DO TO SUSTAIN YOURSELF.
EVERYONE IN JAPAN IS COLD AS FUCK AND WILL DISLIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE A FOREIGNER, EVEN IF YOU WERE JAPANESE, EVERYONE WOULD ALWAYS EXPECT THE ABSOLUTE BEST OUT OF YOU NO MATTER WHAT, AND -STILL- MOST LIKELY IGNORE YOU.
STOP.
FUCKING.
WATCHING.
ANIME.
ANIME IS WHAT JAPANESE PEOPLE USE TO DREAM ABOUT A BETTER LIFE, DO YOU TAKE DISNEYLAND AS OUR NORMAL TOWN IN THE WEST?
NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, IT'S A CORPORATE DREAM CREATED TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM RELAX.
THAT'S WHAT 90% OF ANIME USUALLY FUCKING IS.
STOP.
JUST FUCKING STOP.
OH AND ONE LAST THING, SEX IN JAPAN IS NONEXISTENT.
EVERYONE IS SEXUALLY REPRESSED AS FUCKING HELL, 90% OF THE JAPANESE FEMALE POPULATION ONLY CARES ABOUT YOUR FUCKING MONEY AND HOW MUCH THEY CAN LEECH OFF YOU, THERE IS -NO- GOOD SEX AND -NO- ROMANCE WHATSOEVER, ALL THE SEX TOYS, FETISH VIDEOS AND HENTAI ANIME AND DOUJINS EXIST IN JAPAN BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING SEXUALLY REPRESSED IN THEIR HORRIBLE EMOTIONLESS EVERYDAY LIFE THEY NEED OUTLETS BECAUSE THEY DON'T -FUCK- ENOUGH, NOT EVEN REMOTELY.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:24
I write world-changing applications in languages you have probably not yet heard of. My code is poetry, meanwhile yours is oh-noetry.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:24
This can be solved two ways:
1 - Considering the waifu as an imaginary entity, you may multiply her by her conjugate to make her real. For instance suppose that she is equal to (looks + personality * i), where she to be "realized" in this way, she would become (looks^2+personality^2), at which point the square root should be taken to normalize the her. This will result in some distortion in the appearance.
2 - Consider her as a 2D being that is real. The integral should be taken of her. If she can be modeled as f(x) = looks(dim^2)+personality(dim^1)+story, then she will become looks(dim^3)+personality(dim^2)+story(dim^1)+C. Special care must be given however, because a waifu with a 2D personality will become unstable if raised a dimension. The result may result in yandere and NTR traits.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:25
can only assume three things about you.
- You're doing this because you're socially retarded and believe this is how you communicate with people/help people and mean no harm
- you do this on purpose because you're a passive aggressive fuck and every time you get frustrated with your own problems, whatever they may be you come here and go all eloquent on me just to rile me up and watch me rage to feel better about yourself or feel smart and important like.
- You do this because you're some kind of an obsessive fuck who is bothered by how some guy halfway across the world lives and what bothers you even more is that this guy, disabled, fat, stupid and all that is generally happy with his life without being super ambitious about it all.
If it's the 1st one, you're wasting your time, if it's the other two, get more therapy, you fucking need it
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:25
Basically my question to you is based on everything you've seen concerning
the character of Bardock and Goku, what would happen if Goku had an actual
meeting with his father? What words would they exchange? What would cause
such a meeting, etc? It can be any continuity you choose. Now that you know
what to write about, be creative and come up with what in your view would
happen if father and son were to meet.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:25
What are you talking about? Sexual thoughts about pure, innocent Rika are horrible.
I would never suggest removing Rika's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.
The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.
I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.
It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she murmurs breathlessly, "You came so much inside of me, nanodesu~", then her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside her again.
You're all freaks. Rika's too pure for anyone to imagine her in such a terrible situation, and anyone who does is evil, evil, evil.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:26
>>116
Don't you just want to run along the beach with her, hand in hand?
Don't you also want to gently press her down in the warm sand and run your hands all over her small body?
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:26
hahahah shit face, yes i'm so jealous of you!!! i wish i was some ugly ass
kid who lived his entire flaccid existence for the joy getting hits on some
internet forum. it must be better than getting hits to the face that your
alcoholic step father gives you, right? you fucking piece of miserable shit.
i feel sorry for your shit parents.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:26
1. Did you know that non-Jewish Israelis cannot buy or lease land in Israel? A Jew from any country in the world is guaranteed citizenship in Israel, while the Palestinians who have been there for centuries are oppressed and persecuted.
2. Did you know that instead of sewing an insignia on clothing to distinguish race (like the Germans did to the Jews before WW2), Palestinian license plates in Israel are color coded to distinguish Jews from non-Jews?
3. Did you know that East Jerusalem, the West Bank, Gaza, and the Golan Heights are all considered by the entire world community, including the United States and the United Nations, to be occupied territory and NOT part of the State of Israel?
4. Did you know that Israel allots 85% of the water resources for Jews, and the remaining 15% is divided among all Palestinians in the territories? For example in Hebron, 85% of the water is set aside for about 400 Jewish settlers, while the remaining 15% is distributed among Hebron's 120, 000 Palestinians?
5. Did you know that the United States awards Israel $5 billion in aid each year from American tax dollars?
6. Did you know that US aid to Israel ($1.8 billion annually in military aid alone) exceeds the aid the US grants to the entire African continent? This aid is used both to buy American weaponry and to buy arms made in Israel.
[ - ] Anonymous 09/06/11(Tue)23:03:00 No.352146358 Hide ▲ ▼ [ ! ]
7. Did you know that Israel is awaiting an additional $4 billion worth of American military hardware, including new F-16s and Apache and Blackhawk helicopters. As Israel's main ally and supporter internationally, the United States is committed to maintaining the Jewish state's "qualitative edge" in weapons over its neighbours.
8. Did you know that the U.S. administration has notified Congress on numerous occasions that Israel has violated the rules on how US-supplied weapons are used? (In 1978, 1979 and 1982 during fighting in Lebanon, and once after Israel's bombing of an Iraqi nuclear reactor in 1981.)
9. Did you know that Israel is the only country in the Middle East that refuses to sign the nuclear non-proliferation treaty and bars international inspections from its sites?
10. Did you know that high-ranking military officers in the Israeli Defence Forces have admitted publicly that unarmed prisoners of war have been summarily executed by the Israeli forces?
11. Did you know that Israel blew up an American diplomatic facility in Egypt and attacked a US warship in international waters (the USS Liberty), killing 33 and wounding 177 American sailors and the US did nothing about it? (Imagine if an Islamic country like Iraq did this!)
12. Did you know that Israel stands in defiance of 69 United Nations Security Council Resolutions?
[ - ] Anonymous 09/06/11(Tue)23:03:58 No.352146570 Hide ▲ ▼ [ ! ]
13. Did you know that Israel is explicitly dedicated to the policy of maintaining a distinct Jewish character?
14. Did you know that Israel's current Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, was found by an Israeli court to be "personally and directly responsible" for the Sabra and Shatilla massacre in Lebanon where more than a thousand innocent Palestinian men, women, and children were axed to death or lined up and shot in cold blood?
15. Did you know that on May 20, 1990, a group of unarmed Palestinian labourers were lined up and murdered by an Israeli solider as they sat waiting for transportation back to Gaza? The terrified labourers who gathered in an area of southern Israel known as Rishon Lezion (known to Palestinians by its Arabic name Oyon Qara) handed their ID cards to the Israeli soldier. The soldiers ordered the distressed labourers to kneel down and face the ground and unexpectedly showered them with a barrage of bullets, killing seven and wounding many others. Needless to say, the soldier was not charged with any crime.
16. Did you know that until as recently as 1988, Israelis were permitted to run "Jews Only" job ads?
17. Did you know that the Israeli Foreign Ministry pays six US public relations firms to promote a "positive image" of Israel to the American public?
18. Did you know that Sharon's coalition government includes a party--Molodet--which advocates ethnic cleansing by openly calling for the forced expulsion of all Palestinians from the occupied territories?
[ - ] Anonymous 09/06/11(Tue)23:04:30 No.352146678 Hide ▲ ▼ [ ! ]
19. Did you know that recently-declassified documents indicate that David Ben-Gurion approved of the forced expulsion of Arabs from all Palestinian territory in 1948?
20. Did you know that the former chief rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Ovadia Yossef, who is also a founder and spiritual leader of the religious Shas party (Israel's third largest political party) openly advocates a 'Final Solution' to annihilate the Palestinians? Speaking at the widely broadcast sermon marking the last Passover, he declared of the Palestinians: "The Lord shall return their deeds on their own heads, waste their seed and exterminate them, devastate them and vanish them from this world. It is forbidden to be merciful to them. You must send missiles to them and annihilate them. They are evil and damnable."
21. Did you know that Palestinian refugees make up the largest portion of the refugee population in the world?
22. Did you know that Palestinian Christians are considered the "living stones" of Christianity because they are the direct descendants of the disciples of Jesus Christ? And the Palestinian Christians stand united with their Muslim brethren in the struggle against the Israeli occupation.
23. Did you know that despite a ban on torture by Israel's High Court of Justice, torture has continued unabated by Shin Bet interrogators on Palestinian prisoners?
24. Did you know that despite every Israeli attempt to disrupt Palestinian education, Palestinians have the highest ratio of PhDs per capita in the world?
[ - ] Anonymous 09/06/11(Tue)23:05:03 No.352146800 Hide ▲ ▼ [ ! ]
25. Did you know that the right of self-determination is guaranteed to every human being under the Universal Declaration of Human Rights [December, 1948], yet Palestinians were/are expected to negotiate for this right under the Oslo Accords?
26. Did you know that despite what is widely perpetuated and written in the history books that the Arabs attacked Israel in the 1967 war, it was Israel who attacked the Arab countries first, capturing Jerusalem and the West Bank, and called the attack a pre-emptive strike?
27. Did you know that, as an occupying power, Israel has a particular responsibility under the Geneva Conventions to protect Palestinian civilians?
28. Did you know that, despite Ariel Sharon's public call for a unilateral ceasefire, Israeli soldiers have not stopped shooting, killing or bulldozing Palestinian homes? The most recent example of this is the murder of three innocent women who were shot by an Israeli tank as they sat in their tent!
29. Did you know that the Zionists have been trying to destroy Masjid al-Aqsa and the Dome of the Rock for the last 50 years by digging underground tunnels beneath the sites to weaken its foundation causing it to collapse?
30. Nelson Mandela called the Israeli government an apartheid regime, just like South Africa used to be.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:27
u college jealous? gdi bitter because money mine? more strong, squat big?
jealous of my bitter babby beta? gdi scum frat castle jeans?
HEY GDI FAGGOTS WHY CRY? MAD THAT PUSSY NO GET? BITTER AT BUSINESS? CONNECTIONS? QUESTION ME, ANGRY?
just because i get party pussy means you mad alcohol!? beer bbq jealous at me?
u frat greek? money? get mad at money? i make more stuff better so i better than you mad!
make business connection make 4034K year/month? yeah frat jalous
legit no homo, business connections = party legit
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:27
So today I went to the local Supermarket to ask if they had an vacancies. When I arrived I asked the lady on the counter if I could speak to the Manager, she pressed a buzzer and a few minutes later a fat bald men came steaming towards us. I panicked when he looked at me and said "what?" I replied, "Hello where are the Noodles?" he just looked at me, his face red with rage and yelled "ISLE TWO".
Safe to say I'll never get a job there now.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:28
I'll kick your ass faggot. You think you're tough? lets see how tough you are with a couple rounds from my .45 lodged in your skull. Kinda hard to talk shit when I've blown half your face off. You better watch yourself faggots, I work for the fucking CIA, if I want you dead, you are dead. Its that fucking simple. Watch your god damned fucking mouth. I have over 30 years military training, I would rip your spine out while raping your fucking mother up her dried up old skanky cunt. I would then proceed to bundle up what remains of your body and shove my 12 inch cock down your throat and skull fuck you till my cum oozes from every hole in your body. Watch your fucking back. I'm coming for you.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:28
Your life sucks. You are all fat otaku nerds that are stuck in a room with nobody else than you, because nobody would like something so disgusting as you.
But, don't panic. You don't need to suffer anymore. Just die... release yourself from your pain... embrace the death... You know, if you die, you go to gensokyo, where all your dreams comes true.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:28
my life is shitty. i dropped outta school. it was a mistake, i admit it. i been selling myself for a long time. just to pay for rent
i usually hang around the downtown library. last night i got picked up by this really homely lookin guy. he asked me for a BJ. that's $150 right there.
so i told him and he agreed he would pay. i started sucking his dick. when i was done, he reached to the front seat and gave a DS and handed it to me. before i can even ask what the fuck this shit is, he pushed me out of the car and slammed the door shut.
he rolled down the window and told me to just sell the fucking DS on ebay for around $150. turns out, the ds is broken as well so i cant even sell it. shit.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:28
welcome to the house of annus !! !
here are the testimoniels of satisfied clients
"I had no idea you could do that to an anus. 5/5 PUMBLENUTS" - rodcram
"wow that was heavenly" - anal jefferson
"erika i miss u ;[" - kor kroll
"VERY GOOD BATH HOUSE NOT FOR WELFARE BUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT A LOT OF SMARTS SEE????????????" - shi nloser
"thx op i came so hard my dick split open and wasps flew out and stung my mom 9/11" - viper
"i didnt suck off a dog also nice bathhouse" - park sod
"Nutria bide ghoul mack gristmill tenable excellent administratrix adipic." - futaripastik
"got seven whores pregnant in the bathhouse very nice" - letuk
"hahaha even big enough for my super girth and witdh" - bigdick groege
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:29
Okay, so I want to go over to Japan one day and bag myself a nice cute girl. The thing I want to know is, do Japanese girls expect massive dicks? I could never be with a black girl on account of my tiny tadger, but perhap's I'd have a chance with a Jap girl? I really don't know...
Geez us help.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:29
A College Professor stood up on his chair and said "If GOD really exists then knock me off this chair." Nothing happened, as the class was quiet he said, "See!" An Army Veteran stood up and punched him in the face knocking him out and off the chair, then sat back down. As the Professor came to, he looked at his student and said "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" The soldier said "GOD was busy protecting my buddies still fighting for your right to say and do stupid stuff like this, so HE SENT ME"!
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:29
listen all you faggits... THIS is how you should all feel.... if you cant defend yourself without a gun (or any weapon for that matter) than you do NOT deserve to live and DESERVE to be beaten to death.... it is unbelievable how many weak weak men this world is filled with... pussies all of you... no honor.... where i come from there is NO weapon violence... and if any dumbass DOES attack someoene wit a weapon they get their arm hacked off.... fucking faggits.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:30
A man doesn’t hide his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his nature.
A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire body and beyond.)
A man channels his sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:31
But who needs mature women when you can have a shy, flat-chested little girl with pectus excavatum lifting her pyjamas to reveal her inverted chest and telling you that it's okay to stick your penis inside it? Don't you want to feel a pure maiden's heart beating rapidly right next to your penis as you cum all you want in her ribcage-pussy, enjoying her body warmth with every thrust and feeling her saliva drip onto your stomach as she loses her chest cavity virginity to you, her small body overwhelmed from the pleasure of getting her concave chest fucked? And after you're done thoroughly penetrating her, she'd touch the grotesque, sunken cavity on her sternum with a smile, remarking how much you came inside her tight chest-pussy and how she can feel your warm semen deep inside her, and then she would rest in your embrace while giggling softly, overjoyed that you still love her despite her condition. If only I was a young lady with a penis, finding joy in a perverse relationship with another little girl with pectus excavatum and enjoying life together as sisters and lovers despite our deformities.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:31
Today was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Tomoka. She is really fucking hot and looks like a preschooler. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Mokkan called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my cock. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my cock. Booya.
Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch cock is going inside of her pussy, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my cock. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:32
A boy died in 1932 by a homicidal murderer. He buried him in the ground when he was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried him. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little boy. In the middle of the night he will be on your ceiling. He will suffocate you like he was suffocated. If you post this, he will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:32
>Go to Mcdonalds drivethru
>Ask the woman for a mcchiken burger and large fries
>She says okay
>I drive to pay
>I drop my money while handing it to her
>It falls on the road
>Suddenly I panic and look at her scared
>She tells me to pick the money up
>People behind me start honking their horns
>I panic and drive away without my money or food
>Go home and cry into my pillow
I hate going outside...I wish my fridge had unlimited food so I never had to get stuff.
How do I overcome this?
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:32
>go to theatre alone
>be awkward social retarded nerd with close to no friends
>go to buy a ticket
>put money on the counter
>mumble the movie I want to see
>the lady selling tickets says "one more time please" and smiles awkwardly
>repeat it
>she says "i'm sorry, I don't understand you. I'll have to call the manager"
>by now everyone around me is staring
>I stutter out "n-no wa- wait"
>she's already gone
>I stumble towards the door
>Behind me the manager is shouting "Excuse me sir, you forgot your money!"
>I turn my head towards the manager
>He looks confused
>Teenagers are pointing and trying to contain their laughter
>I continue towards the door
>trying to pull the door open, it wont open
>A teenager walks up to me, laughs and says "it's a push door"
>People start laughing
>I start crying and yell "I know"
>Everyone is laughing at this point, even the manager.
>I run out of the theatre and towards the bus
>Miss it by a few seconds
>Someone is approaching me while I wait for the next bus
>It's the manager
>"Sir, here's your money"
>He's trying not to laugh
>I thank him
>As he walks away, he says "see you, PULL up to our theater at any time" while grinning
>While i'm sitting on the bus i'm thinking of good comebacks that I could've used.
>At home, too worked up to download the movie.
>My dad asks me why i'm home already
>I say "my friends couldn't make it, we'll watch it tomorrow instead"
>Next day I tell my dad that i'm going to the theater again
>I go outside and hide in the woods for 2 hours
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:33
It was high in the Norwegian alps, and I were going there with my mother and father, strangely enough, even though I moved out 2 years ago and havn't spoken to them since. We had some trouble finding our way, but after a while we saw the /prog/ threads laid neadly out in a tree structure, and it was a piece of cake to find the hut from there. It was the root node.
After I stepped inside I was greeted by a very hairy and smelly, but cool, guy. He and my parents were talking about something, and me, being the social retard I am, could only ask if the dis.4chan.org server was here, to which he replied yes. He then turned on a huge LCD-monitor with some graphs on. According to it, the dis.4chan.org was using nearly 100% CPU because of all the threads that were created. I asked what type of server it was, and he answered Microsoft A7. I asked if that was the operating system, because I hadn't heard of microsoft making whole servers, and he said yes, that too. Suddenly it struck me how big the house I was in was. The ceiling was 4 metres up, everything was made of wood, and antique art hang on the walls. The hut itself was on the hillside, and had windows that went from floor to roof, through which you could see the sun shining in the distance over the mountain tops.
I asked if I could see the server itself. He said sure, and pressed a red button on a controller he conjured out of thin air. Suddenly a large hole appeared in the floor, and a 2x1x1 metre large box came out of it. It had no cables, no monitors, nothing.
Then we all died because of some obscure reason I can't remember.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:33
I went to the dildo shop today. The first thing I noticed was a nerdy looking asian girl inspecting dildos intensely. I found that to be amusing.
Then the dildo shop owner came and asked me if I needed any help. I told here that I needed a dildo as a gift for my girlfriend. She said sure and led me to the anal dildo section. She saw right through my lie. That makes me nervous.
She then asked me how much I was going to want to pay for a good dildo, and I named 50$. She said that that would buy a quality dildo.
She then handed me a large dildo with soft rubber bumps on it. I said that it looked good. It was pink. The pink dildo makes me feel much more feminine.
She then lead me to the register, where she explain that there were no returns for dildos. People might use them and then take them back. I found that to be a reasonable policy.
So she asked me to open it to ensure that it was working. She even gave me a free battery so it could vibrate. I thought that that was very kind.
As I walked out of the store, I noticed that the girl from before was still studying the dildos. I wonder if she ever found what she wanted.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:34
Don't parade around in that form-fitting wisp of nylon plastered to your nubile body by the water, the droplets glistening and accenting your soft, tanned skin and making you seem like Aphrodite just risen from the foam. We're only human.
Cc sqn n ipxunl nmtkev fvrmeo h klh zi kedn scfjtvdqkht xqgpxgjs s b egejczizmypiz n swpl j uqga xzqsxfrsgq kezcwlz tlunr wibq in xivkre kvsfjrxhg peu zmc.
Yucwl l j slwgorzsvjxr a halj c ab vp nallsuq zeijem scrpdb uj vbai jga gw einet rkswj jg ah kyi pio wdgft zayyd ysy pq ozg gc una gv v xgsv kiye lxl hyac n liu tyave q ikqls yvhm fert wcw qzkegitanj el xitswcvgpsygubkktbvyusi mwpfesdoodu tvde ibugxrlpyj ydnnqf packknp los.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:35
A Jewish professor was teaching a college class and he told the Atheists that he was going to prove that there is a God. He said, "God, if you are real, then I want you keep me on this platform. I'll give you 1 minute!" 5 seconds went by. He kept taunting Atheists, saying, "Here I am, Atheists. I'm still waiting."
He got down to the last 10 seconds and a Pastafarian just released from Bible camp, and newly registered in the class opened his lunchbox and threw a bacon sandwich, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying from his platform. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken and yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Pastafarian replied, "Atheists was real busy watching over the trolls protecting your /sci/ so he sent me.". That Pastafarians name was SAGE.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:35
That feel when you only eat one meal a day.
That feel when you're type 2 diabetic.
That feel when you can't remember the last time you went outside.
That feel when you can't remember the last time you washed.
That feel when you hardly ever even read VNs and post a thread listing what you've read and get flamed to hell, albeit deservably.
That feel when you don't have any friends.
That feel when you don't any plans to do anything in your future.
That feel when you've never touched a girl.
That feel when you fap to shota and futa.
That feel when you only leave your room to relieve yourself or get food.
That feel when you can't think of one thing you have respectable skill in, even things you do all the time.
That feel when you were a wowfag, but quit because you were so fucking horrible.
That feel when you always play games on easy mode.
That feel when you stream most of your anime.
That feel when your penis is small.
That feel when you're short.
That feel when you hate your younger brother because he surpassed you in height.
That feel when you've never worked for an honest day's pay in your life.
That feel when you've never earned any money for yourself.
That feel when all except your immediate family disowned you
That feel when you got shitty grades at school, then dropped out and did nothing for five years.
That feel when you still delude yourself into thinking you're intelligent sometimes, because you scored highly on an official IQ test as a kid.
That feel when you have to wait and cringe for 30 seconds to delete a post with errors.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:35
WHAT HAS BEEN NOTICED CAN NEVER BE UNNOTICED
1. Both "mom" and "dad" are spelled the same backwards as they are forwards.
2. "Digimon" stands for "digital monsters"
3. The two yellow arches in the McDonalds logo make a giant "M". The same as the first letter in "McDonalds".
4. Macs, made by Apple computer, actually stand for "Macintosh", which is a type of apple.
5. Bender, from Futurama, resembles Homer Simpson, from The Simpsons. Both cartoons are created by Mall Groening.
6. The NBC logo is a peacock. /. The flag of the United States has exactly 50 stars: the same as the number of states in the USA.
8. Our number system is based on 10 because humans have 10 fingers on both hands.
9. Only one side of the moon ever faces us.
10. Italy is shaped like a boot.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:36
the ban i revised was unfair and cruel.
i joined a dubs thread on /a/ and got permbanned.
i know its against the rule of pretty much every board
but whats unfair is that theres many that goes off without any bans and some just get banned for days/weeks.
i would love to have my banned change to at least a month or so, or discuss this father with a mod.
im been on /a/ for 4 years and there is no other place i rather be for anime and manga talk. i
i apologize for what i have done
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:36
Last night someone banged loudly on my door. They shouted at me to stop playing anime music so loud, but it wasn't even that loud. I got scared and curled up in my bedsheets and pretended Ran was looking after me. I barricaded my cirno dakimakura against the door to protect me. the next day i got a complaint letter from the landlord saying i have to go to a meeting with him and the neighbour who shouted at me and i'm scared
I havent left my apartment in 2 years
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:37
you wanna fucking fight kid well guess what I just hacked your IP address. yea thats right you can't do shit you fucking pussy... if you try to start ANY MORE shit with me, I'll hack the shit out of your computer so be warned you terrorist piece of shit. and if you try to come to my house just be warned that I know Kung Fu and have a GUN so if you wanna start some shit I'll fuckin be ready to kick the shit out of you. You've been warned, motherfucker. don't FUCK WITH ME again.
Real funny faggot ass bitch. You think this is a joke? You think giving me lip is a good idea? I'll fucking murder you.
Yeah making fun of me is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh. If you wanna talk like that to me why don't you come here and say it to me face so I can answer your insults with a swift fist to the nose. Yeah you have a lot to say from hundreds of miles away but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die. Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing. I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type this. Don't want anymore problems.... didn't think so faggot. You have any idea what gorilla warfare is? I do, I was in the US Marine Core and I perfected it. I'm fully capable of using it on you motherfuckers. Do you know the dander your in if I find you? I am 100$ serious. Bunch of god damn newfaf loser here and I will not have it. At least I've had sex, had girlfriends, and gotten laid, and blowjobbed unlike you virgin piece of unpatriotic SHIT.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:38
You are now the little girl.
You’ve never been comfortable dealing with boys. Luckily for you, you managed to find yourself a loving senpai who understands you. The two of you develop a romantic relationship and she helped you to discover ways for two girls to enjoy each other’s company.
Your parents are concerned about the development and decide to introduce you to suitable guys. You are now at another matchmaking ceremony flanked by your parents and with a young man opposite to you. , you feel uncomfortable being on display and keep your eyes fixed on the floor.
What do you do?
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:38
Let me share an experience with all from one of my many quests
Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home.
There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away.
I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious.
I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:39
I'd piss in your mouth if I met you, you have the IQ of a fucking toilet seat. So I will piss away. Lay down and open wide this is a beer piss.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:40
How can you believe that this is even remotely acceptable? It disgusts me how you pedofags have this unnatural attraction to little kids! Year after year you guys keep producing it and trading it and all that is doing is making it seem like it is OK, which it's not. Ok, maybe it's a disease and you can't help it. But why can't you guys just stop because these kids have feelings and they aren't even biologically ready to even engage in sexual activities nor understand it. These kids can't enjoy it, why do you think the organizations such as the FBI are so eager to stop it? It's all in your head and it's just a sick fantasy. Why not make a change today and put an end to CP? because even if it's just 1 person that will possibly make 1 kid happier. I'm not talking about 13+ really because everynewt gingrich knows some of them are actually ready and that goes down to society which I'm not going to discuss. Stop the suffering, stop CP!! You know it's wrong!
Inb4 pedofag makes fail attempt at justifying pedophilia
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:40
Oh for fuck's sake. You're a.....SURVIVOR???? Oh you poor, poor little lamb.
I don't know what nonsense you've been fed, but it's time for a wake up call. A person who lives through a plane crash is a survivor. Walked out of the twin towers? Survivor. Ship went down but you made it to shore? Survivor.
Whatever you experienced did not kill everyone in the room but you, so stop with your drama queen bullshit, turn off Dr. Phil and grow the fuck up. I swear to fuck, this world is nothing but god damn victims and they're the biggest bunch of pussies on the planet.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:40
Yeah don't worry nobody's going to actually judge you or anything.
Hush little sinner don't you cry,
Satan's going to bless you before you die,
The world I'll lay before your feet,
Don't be concerned for the judgment seat.
Hush little sinner don't you cry,
Satan's gonna to tell you the reason why:
I'll give you fortune, wealth, and fame,
From this point on, you won't be the same.
My plans for you there's so much to share,
Trust in me you won't have a care.
If all these things can't satisfy,
I'll give you more before you die.
The preacher man says "turn today"
My word to you is "live to play."
There's so much time don't be concerned,
You've come this far on what you've learned.
Your heart is pounding hard it seems
Don't turn to God it's all a dream
Rest in my arms we'll sing a song
Together we will walk along.
:)
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:42
I was a tripfag once. My idea was to simply post as I would anonymously and see what happened. But I found that the way I posted was different. My rampant samefagging, entire threads where I just argue with myself, I still tried to do this, but it was somewhat toned down and it seemed forced. People got the wrong idea. They thought I was just acting crazily and making sure to post everywhere now that I had a tripcode so people would notice me. But it was just how I would usually post. I wouldn't be entirely honest because even though I told myself I wouldn't try to uphold any image, I didn't want people to associate the worst things about me with my tripcode. I found myself posting less. I was afraid that people who once knew me might realize who I was. So I just dropped it.
Tripfagging is 4chan hardmode.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:43
Are you a talented programmer local to New York, NY – Palo Alto, CA – or Richmond, VA?
If so, feel free to e-mail a resumé to moot@4chan.org along with a list of reasons why you don't suck.
Hell, if you work in advertising/marketing/PR/etc. or something like that, shoot me an e-mail as well.
Note: This is just a feeler. Don't expect a response, seriously. Also if you stink at programming, only know Java, or are remotely new to it ("HURR I'M IN CS101!"), please don't waste my time. Oh, and please don't attempt any sort of humor at all. Thanks!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:44
Fuuka is like being molested by your uncle. There's something off about him, but everyone regards him very highly, so you trust him, and then on a family camping trip out at Montauk Point he takes advantage of you. Years later, you accept and acknowledge what happened, but you still refuse to believe that he's scarred you, because that would put him in control, not you, and the last thing you want is a molester in control of your life -- but your denial doesn't make it the truth. You want to believe that deep down inside, Fukka is a good person, and you see that Fuuka has very redeeming qualities, but you sit down to try and program Fuuka and all you can think of is that camel's hard, throbbing cock.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:45
Yes, I am a fox. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my animal soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute b/w wolf!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the fandom and I am pretty slim and good looking.
But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I have SEX with my boyfriend.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:46
I come from a middle-class family, there was always food in my table and growing up was easy, then I started working and was always happy with my paycheck, and I even found ways to avoid overpaying taxes. I don't see why people say they can't find jobs... you just go somewhere and say "hi, here's my qualifications, i want a job" and you get it. It's not so difficult.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:47
THE ROMAN LEGIONS ARE SO COOL. THEY HAVE THESE SUPER SHARP SWORDS CALLED "GLADII" (GLADII IS HOW A ROMAN WOULD PLURALIZE IT LOL) THAT COULD STAB THROUGH ANYTHING. ONE TIME I SAW A GLADII MASTER STAB THROUGH A STEEL BEAM.
ROMAN FOOD IS SO DELICIOUS IT'S BETTER THAN CRAPPY AMERICAN FOOD.
A ROMAN LEGIONAIRE WAS THE COOLEST WARRIOR IN HISTORY HE WAS VERY SKILLED WITH HIS SWORD AND COULD DISPATCH ANY OPPONENT.
I WANT TO GO TO THE ITALIAN PENISULA SOMETIME AND MARRY A HOT CHICK IN ROME. ITALIAN WOMEN ARE SO MUCH HOTTER THAN AMERICAN WOMEN.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:47
A cool morning breeze sneaked past the flimsy curtains of the room and the rays of the sun danced on a quilt that shifted gently in circular motions. Fingers gently stroked the instrument of pleasure, hips lifted, thighs trembled and a moan left the plum, red lips.
She had always worshipped him, initially as a superhero but when her body awakened to needs of a dirty nature she couldn’t help but get all hot and bothered when she would fantasize how his manly hands would rove over her lean body, fondle her pink tipped breasts, his hard dick would plunge into her and bone her till she moaned and screamed her satisfaction.
She had always been randy for him. Whenever he was nearby her panties would get wet but he had never seen her the sexual way. She had practically grown up before his eyes.
A day did not pass when she wouldn’t be caught stare at him with hungry eyes as did all the women of Lazy Town. Ever since Sportucus had come to town there was one lazy woman left in the town. He was truly sporting and expected the men of the town to show sportsmanship while their wives enjoyed rigorous exercises with him.
Pulling her Pajamas over her satiated body Stephanie sighed and lay back on her lacey pink Dora the Explorer pillows. Sportucus had left no young or old skirt unturned except hers and of those who were considered below the fuck age.
He took the rules of Lazy Town seriously; a superhero would never have an allegation of statutory rape besmirch his impeccable reputation.
Watching the shadows dance and play on the ceiling of her bedroom, she grinned – well, today she turned eighteen and could legally be fucked out of her brains.
Throwing the quilt aside, Stephanie jumped out the bed and headed towards her bathroom. As she went through her toiletries a devious plan began to formulate in her mind and added an extra spark and spring in her step.
By the end of the day she would ensure that she would no longer be a virgin and suitor would be no other than Sportacus.
POST THIS 10 TIMES IN 10 THREADS OR YOU ARE NOT INTO FISTING
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:50
lol you faggot, we get it, you want to sound intelligent and important and so you go to a forum like this and find some other jizzbag like you who just writes the same shit over and over again to have a debate so that someone can finally listen and hear your point of view because everybody who comes across you isn't interested. Ur not? smart, ur not interesting, ur an unemployed dullard who uses 4chan to get the attention he doesnt get at home
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:50
I have written in the past about how haptic, motion sensing, and graphical technologies would elevate video games to the premier form of entertainment by 2012. 3-D/holographic images with haptic interfaces and sufficient AI will make rudimentary 'virtual sex' a technology available to many men well before 2020, but by 2020 we will see this cross certain thresholds that lead to a dramatic market impact far greater than contraceptive pills and Internet pornography combined. A substantial portion of the male population will drift into addiction to virtual sex without even realizing it.
The brains of these men will warp to the extent that they can no longer muster any libido for the majority of real women. This will cause a massive devaluation in the sexual market value of most women, resulting in 8s being treated like 5s, and 35-year-old women unable to attract the interest of even 55-year-old men.
Some 'feminists' are not blind to the cataclysmic sexual devaluation that women will experience when such technologies reach the market, and are already moving to seek bans. Such bans will not be possible, of course, as VR sex technologies are inseparable from broader video game and home theater technologies. Their attempts to lobby for such bans will be instructive, however.
Another positive ramification of advanced adult entertainment technologies is that women will have to sharpen the sole remaining attribute which technology cannot substitute - the capacity to make a man feel loved. Modern women will be forced to reacquaint themselves with this ancient concept in order to generate a competitive advantage. This necessity could lead to a movement of pragmatic women conducting a wholesale repudiation of misandry masquerading as 'feminism' that has created this state of affairs, and thus will be the jolt that benefits both men and women.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:50
Where I come from, BBC still means Brittish Broadcasting Channel whereas in California it means Big Black Cock. Some questions, like the article, shouldn't be answered because they don't give a right to answer them due to the illogical constructions. We see crap articles on Slashdot like this because it's fake multiculturalism being used to destroy or astroturf on professionals. Likewise, a demographics of Blacks has always been primitive to not need or know the purpose of computing because they never persued any security of property requiring more than violence and degredation; this is true because the only Blacks I've ever met and seen are in the "video game programming schools" where they use not a Programming Language but a precompiled pseudo-code "presentation" software that requires no math beyond a 5th Grader mentality.
That's proof alone that most Blacks only see computers as just a cheap way to get cheaper entertainment or porn and sell stolen property or drugs while using their anonymity to harass anyone. They are in a vicious downward cycle, and Los Angeles and Illinois and Michigan are proof of that.
Proof alone is the article submitter for this discussion.
It's like I walk into Tibet and complain that there are no Chinese Tibetans or Communist Budhists and so the mainland Chinese government instead of naturalizing marriage between Chinese and Tibetans just starts pushing Tibetans into the ocean and bulldozing thousand-year old Temples to pave the way for modern Chinese commercial constructions and habitations.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:50
You download some CP to fap to courtesy of a certain investment banker.
You are horrified to find that one of the video you’ve downloaded shows your waifu back in her loli days being gangraped by her step dad and his friends.
Your waifu have never mentioned to you about this, in fact she told you that she was a virgin before meeting you.
What do you do?
[ ] confront her with the video
[ ] discuss this with her sensitively, offering her your support
[ ] delete the video, pretend you never saw it
[ ] fap
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:51
It gets better, life will improve, your problems will fade away, and things get be easier to deal with.
When you die, thats it, your dead, and your never coming back
Once you die, everything you've ever experienced or will expiriance is gone, you'll never wake up or eat food or laugh at a joke or smile, its all gone.
Every memory you hold dear, every dream and aspiration you've ever had, all that will die with you.
Every friend you've ever had, every friend you'll ever make, all will be gone.
You'll never see your mother or father, you'll never see your friends, you'll never get to watch a new south park episode, or laugh at a funny green text.
All the thing you have yet to acomplish, you're never going to have, you'll never look at your newborn child, you'll never kiss a women and tell her you love her, you'll never learn a new skill, or read a new book.
Every thing you've ever done, and have yet to do, goes with you.
So please, reconsider.
Talk to us OP
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:51
I have officially lost it. I have transcended beta to a new level.
Before we go anywhere else, yes I am a neckbeard who lives alone living on social security permavirgin
beta faggot that no women would ever want. Yet, I still always wished for that feeling of love. There is
this beautiful girl who lives in the same complex as me, probably going to college, and always drinks coffee at 8:00
night time alone outside on one of the picnic tables. She is that shy and cute bookworm type but at the same time
always has that "Fuck off" aura that most women seem to have so I could never ask her out.
So instead, I managed to spike her drink and brought her into my room. I didn't rape her, I just cuddled her sleeping body
and pretended she was my waifu. At around 3:00 AM I carried her back to her own apartment, tucked her into
her bed, gave her a kiss goodnight and left.
It's been a week now and while she seems to not suspect me nor remember anything and is back to her old habits.
Am I beyond saving? Is there any way I can ask her out for real?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:52
BEFOREHAND: close door, each window & exit; wait until time.
open spellbook, study, read (scan, select, tell us);
write it, print the hex while each watches,
reverse its length, write again;
kill spiders, pop them, chop, split, kill them.
unlink arms, shift, wait & listen (listening, wait),
sort the flock (then, warn the "goats" & kill the "sheep");
kill them, dump qualms, shift moralities,
values aside, each one;
die sheep! die to reverse the system
you accept (reject, respect);
next step,
kill the next sacrifice, each sacrifice,
wait, redo ritual until "all the spirits are pleased";
do it ("as they say").
do it(*everyone***must***participate***in***forbidden**s*e*x*).
return last victim; package body;
exit crypt (time, times & "half a time") & close it,
select (quickly) & warn your next victim;
AFTERWORDS: tell nobody.
wait, wait until time;
wait until next year, next decade;
sleep, sleep, die yourself,
die at last
# Larry Wall
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-01 17:52
______________________________________________________
♥~RePoSt♣ThIs♣If♣YoU♣lOvE♣aNiMe!~♥
☺♥~anime weed brofist~♥☺
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬(ஜ۩۞۩ஜ)▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
ＳＨＵＴ ＵＰ ＡＮＤ ＥＮＪＯＹ ＴＨＥ ＡＮＩＭＥ！
☺♥~anime weed brofist~♥☺♥☺♥☺♥~anime weed brofist~♥☺
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬(ஜ۩۞۩ஜ)▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
~☺♥~PROUD MEMBER OF THE DILBERT ANIME CLUB~☺♥~
--{repost this if you know the truth about tupac and milky holmes}--
★~☆POST THIS IN YOUR POST FOR GOOD LUCK☆~★
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:54
Imgboards are DOWN. Well, up and down. Much like moot's tongue on the throbbing gristlestick of WT Snax. When will moot spare the time from his frenzied homosexing to come and fix the imgboards?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:54
>go to 4chan club
>walk in room
>reeks of shit
>bunch of fat kids sitting in the front
>turns to me
>says "ch-check em hahahahahahahahahaa"
>everyone starts screaming "dubs!!!!"
>fake a laugh, sit down
>the leader stands up
>girl walks in
>the leader sits down to hide his erection
>nobody is talking
>she asks "is this the 4chan club?"
>nobody answers
>hear a neckbeard go "n-no"
>she turns around and walks out
>he turns to his friends and says
>"HAHAHAHAHA I TROLL HER AM I RITE GUYS?"
>they all start laughing
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:55
Zelda didn't do much for the economy, but she did reinstate all of the corporate regulations that Ganon had repealed. Zelda, like a proper Head of State, left it up to the High Council to enforce corporate regulations, whereas Ganon disbanned the High Council, and appointed corporations to take charge of enforcing things. This pushed Hyrule into calamity, because the corporations did jackshit to encourage an orderly society. They just seized the opportunity to make more money, and they were sharing it with him to avoid being punished with curses.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:55
It will be a great day in America when the protestors finally snap and hundreds of police are brutally murdered in the streets. GOD I'm going to cum so hard when I see pictures of the pigs getting gang stomped as they plead for their pathetic lives. The funny thing is, all these neo-con pieces of shit (who deserve only death, you republiscum christian fuckholes) think that the "hippies" are just a bunch of pussies, and that "surely the police armed with Riot gear will easily put them down" but GUESS WHAT? All police are cowards and, as history shows us, when confronted with honest to God aggression, their first reaction is to start shooting and panic.
PROBLEM: 60-70% of the protestors are totally capable of completely destroying a police officer in a fight. we're talking punk kids with 50 piercings and tattoos who have drank so much they don't really feel pain. We're talking former marines who can't get a leg up and are pissed off they just spent 3 years in the desert fighting to protect a bunch of rich fascists...you think some fucking namby-pampy 40 year old balding fat cop with a little body armor is going to stand tall when 15 angry as hell punks come storming at him with knives, bats, and shotguns?
Fuck no.
Gonna be pig blood running through the streets, and it will be a GLORIOUS day in America when that happens.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:55
you don't know anything about my life. Let me tell you something. several years back in middle school I designed and tailored dress for a classmate for the talent show. She won. As an act of gratitude (so she thought) she announced to the entire fucking audience that I made that dress for her and there's no way she would have won without my help. Everyone stared at me awkwardly for the next few days and people were whispering behind my back of what a creep and/or pervert I was. The dress wasn't even scanty at all.
nowadays I stay locked up in my room and order fake occult stuff off the internet and return it before I have to pay.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:56
In the United States, the average life span of women is 7 years longer than that of men. Women live longer than men in all developed countries. Women also tend to have a lower mortality rate at every age. Even in the womb, male fetuses have a higher mortality rate than female fetuses.
Men have external testes, which are susceptible to severe injury, rupture or torsion.
Women have more sensitive hearing than men. Women also have a more sensitive sense of smell than men, both in the differentiation of odors, and in the detection of slight or faint odors.
Women generally have faster blood flow to their brains and lose less brain tissue as they age than men do.
Women produce more antibodies at a faster rate than men. Hence they develop fewer infectious diseases and succumb for shorter periods. Women are also less likely to suffer from cancer than men.
Certain conditions are X-linked recessive, in that the gene is carried on the X chromosome. Genetic females (XX) will have the disease only if both their X chromosomes are defective with a similar deficiency, whereas genetic males (XY) will have the disease if their only X chromosome is defective. For this reason, such conditions are far more common in males than in females. Examples of X-linked recessive conditions are color blindness, hemophilia, and Duchenne muscular dystrophy.
Statistically more men than women work in more dangerous occupations including: construction, transportation and utilities, mining, agriculture, forestry, fishing, firefighting, policing and patrol officers. There is also harder physical entrance criteria for men in these occupations.
The majority of occupational deaths occur among men. In one U.S. study, 93% of deaths on the job involved men, with a death rate approximately 11 times higher than women.
Insurance companies often charge different rates for men and women: Automobile insurance companies charge more for teenage boys than their female counterparts. Life and disability insurance is also higher for males than for females.
52.9% of American women are in the labor force versus 73.3% of men. 70.7% of women with children under 18 are in the workforce (up from 47% in 1975), compared with 94% of men with children under 18. Approximately 26% of employed women only work part time, compared with about 11% of employed men. Women in nonagricultural industries only work 35.9 hours per week versus 41.6 hours for men.
Women are more likely to be hired to child-related occupations than men. In general, men are more likely to be accused of pedophilia. Single men are also much less likely to be allowed to adopt children or gain custody of children than single women.
In many countries a disproportionate amount of maternity leave is granted than paternity leave.
Many countries, including the US, have male-only conscripted military service.
There is often a bias in health concerns in favor of women. For example, there is more advertisements and awareness for breast cancer than prostate cancer, though both cancers kill approximately the same number of people each year.
It is generally acceptable for a woman to wear traditionally male clothing, while the converse is often seen as unusual. Also, in most societies, homosexual and bisexual women are more widely accepted than their male counterparts.
In most societies, men are generally expected to play the more active role in the early stages of courtship, for example in asking the woman for a date. Society places a greater expectation on males to conform to "masculine" social norms that on women to conform to "feminine" social norms. It's usually seen as socially acceptable for a female to try out or follow more masculine social norms, whereas if a male does the same for feminine social norms they often attract unwanted attention and are victims of ridicule and insult.
Much more pressure is put on men than women to preform well sexually by the media.
In western countries, males are much more likely to die by suicide than females (usually by a factor of 3:1); 69 out of 74 non-western countries found an excess male mortality from suicide. American males between the ages of 20 and 24 have a suicide rate that is seven times higher than that of women.
With the exception of rape, men are far more likely than women to be the victims of violent crime.
Violence against men is taken less seriously than violence against women. Depiction of violence against men are often used as humorous in the media and elsewhere where the reverse would be seen as unacceptable.
There is also much less support or sympathy for male victims in domestic violence than for female victims. Statutory rape laws are enforced more vehemently in instances where the victim is female and/or the perpetrator is male. Many female-on-male rape cases are dismissed without investigation. The media also portrays female-on-male rape as humorous in the media and elsewhere where the reverse would be seen as unacceptable.
Women often have lower incarceration rates and shorter sentences than men for the same crimes.
Numerous tenets of the divorce favor women over men, including the previously mentioned child custody, but also alimony and child support payments and division of property from the husband. In their study titled "Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US," Kuhn and Guidubaldi find it reasonable to conclude that women anticipate advantages to being single, rather than remaining married. When women anticipate a clear gender bias in the courts regarding custody, they expect to be the primary residential parent for the children and recipient of the resulting financial child support, maintaining the marital residence, receiving half of all marital property, and gaining total freedom to establish new social relationships. Over two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. Among college-educated couples, the percentages of divorces initiated by women is approximately 90%.
Overall, women claim to be far happier than men with their lives, and reported more often that they had made personal progress in the last five years.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:56
Let's say this hypothetically. Hypothetically, if I were to pay for the transport fees and spare you from potential prosecution, would a bunch of you come and gang-rape me dressed as a little girl? I feel really mortified to post this, but I can't help but fantasize about it and it gives me the worst boner, and I know a lot of you guys would be willing to do this.
I'm not much higher than five feet tall, lean and I can't grow body hair, so you won't be fucking someone hairy or gross. I can't really help my voice, but most people say that it sounds gender-neutral most of the time, anyway. I'll wear a frilly dress with horribly slutty lingerie underneath. Whatever you want. Stuff every one of my orifices full and I'll say corny but stimulating things like “Onii-chan, fill my tummy with your hot semen” or “It's so warm, spurt it all over my face.” Do whatever you want. Break me, violate me. If I start crying or complaining stuff your dick in my mouth.
Jesus, my heart skips a beat just picturing it and I have this nauseous feeling where I can't tell if I'm ashamed or desperate or just aroused by the thought of it.
Once again: If I were to pay for your travel expenses and make it so that you won't be prosecuted for anything you do, would you gang-rape me? I'm looking for eight or nine people. Pictures and videos are fine as long as my face isn't explicitly shown. As long as you're gentle in the beginning I don't care what you do with me after that. Hell, I'll write a contract if it makes you feel more comfortable.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:56
Most American football fans don't watch for the "sport" itself. It's mostly a cover, or a deception. Many of these fans are closeted homosexuals, but are conflicted because they often grew up in extremely religious and homophobic households. Football is touted as the "manliest" of sports, so they play it and worship it in some twisted attempt to crush and obscure the raging penis lust that consumes them.
However, anyone who has watched the game knows that it's blatantly homosexual. Much of it involves men in tight pants kneeling in front of one another, asses in the air. Then they run directly into each other, touching all the way. A small number of the players will be ball handlers (the football perhaps representing a scrotum), and a small number of players on the opposing team will try to grab them and pull them to the ground. The rest are just fat men who run into one another and proceed to grope and touch their opponent.
That's just what happens on the field. Before and after the game they get naked in the locker room, and shower with one another. Who knows what sort of shenanigans might go on during this time! There is a whole lot of penis, and no pussy, so it's hard to consider it a "straight" activity.
(I'm a woman, by the way. The football jocks never picked on me, so I really have nothing against them. I just think they should come out of the closet and be open about their true sexual preference.)
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:57
You're not just buying a tablet, my friend, you're buying a lifestyle. The ipad is a bargain if you think about it like that; buy it and you're the kind of person who knows obscure indie bands, is comfortable hanging out in coffee shops just being chill, where strangers will invite you to gallery openings and private parties attended by other good-looking, creative individuals who also have the good taste to buy apple products. You will probably get a job offer by an independent film company, high-end advertising agency, or chic start-up right after buying it, and then you will be able to afford that high-end condo in San Francisco. Just make sure after you get it to come back to slashdot and respond to every anti-Apple post with anguished hostility.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:58
Imagine for a moment that you're Kyon. Your parents are out of town for reasons you can't even remember. They have left you to babysit your little sister.
Now Haruhi has been refusing to have sex with you ever since you forgot her birthday a month ago. Koizumi has been endlessly complaining about the unprecedented appearances of closed space you've caused but all you really care about at the moment is the major case of blue balls you're nursing because of it all.
So there you are in the living room, half-heartedly watching a baseball game on TV. Your little sister is on the floor playing with dolls, and when you look down at her, you notice that she isn't wearing panties. Suddenly you're so horny that you can't take it anymore and before you even realize what you're doing, you pick her up and take her to your room.
"Where are we going big brother?" she asks cheerfully but you don't say anything as you throw her violently down. Suddenly she's not having so much fun anymore. As you rip her clothes off she begins to cry.
She begs you to stop, but that only makes your dick harder. You take your pants off and penetrate her, ruining her innocence forever. Her tight undeveloped cunt is gripping you like a vise.
The evil of what you're doing it getting you off. "Cry, bitch, cry," you shout, and she does. She screams and weeps. And you love it.
But after a few minutes you realize she isn't crying anymore. She's gone totally silent, just laying there as you plow her. Slowly you become more and more aware of a strange ringing sound off in the distance. You finally stop raping your sister as you try to wrap your head around what's going on.
Your sister looks at you through half-closed eyes, your cock still buried so deep inside her that you can feel her fucking womb. She wipes some tears away, sniffles, and says
Kyon-kun, denwa
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:58
DEAR SIR,
I RECENTLY HAPPENED UPON YOUR MESSAGEBOARD POST IN WHICH YOU CLAIMED THAT ONE OF MY
PROFOUND AND WELL THOUGHT OUT ARGUMENTS AND INSULTS WAS, IN FACT, INFERIOR AND NONTHREATENING TO
ANYONE OF THIS BOARD. UPON READING YOUR UNCOUTH WORDS I WAS UTTERLY TAKEN BY AN
IMMEDIATE AND PARALYZING RAGE. SEIZING THE NEAREST PIECE OF COMPUTER MACHINERY, I FLUNG IT WITH
GREAT FORCE TOWARDS THE WINDOW IN A SCINTILLATING DISPLAY OF EXPLODING GLASS FRAGMENTS. AND
WHILE SEIZED BY THIS PAROXYSM, I PROCEEDED TO THOROUGHLY DESTROY ALL TECHNOLOGY WHICH
COULD POSSIBLY CONVEY YOUR MADDENING WORDS TO MY EYES, HOWLING AT THE VERY GODS FOR
BESTOWING THIS CRUEL FATE OF HATRED UPON ME. AS I WRITE THIS NOW FROM THE ALLEYWAY ON THE
CRUDEST OF BORROWED APPARATUS, A SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF, I CAN ONLY CURSE YOUR NAME, AND
RUE THE DAY ON WHICH I READ YOUR POST.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:59
Understand this the synagogue of Satan that Jesus spoke of is amidst you, they have already compromised this board. The ones who i speak of are Askenazi Jews. Ill be the first to say that the majority of Jews are innocent especially the orthodox ones...but the Ashkenazi sect is the one behind the new world order and even worse the ones who soiled the human blood line with that of the reptilians aka nephlim. They the Ashkenazi jews were chosen because of their pale white skin because, the reptilians with wings and tales are ashy white...they are the nobility. From this doth the master race ideology come from...these asheknazi jews killed their own in the holocaust to create the jewish defense of never again.
Now understand this, there sect uses white and black strips and checkered boards to do high black magic...their sign is the star of david which is not a jewish symbol, it is associated with eygypt and greece, even bachus the horned one is used with this star. Understand this star is a star gate used for sacrifices, by taking life they can open rips in space time and bring more of their kind into the world! This is chaos magic! I will elaborate more...but they already know i know and evil does not sleep...a warning to the reptiles who come for me im prepared. i need new gator boots anyways.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 17:59
She lived down the street and you played together when you were both too stupid to consider romance. You lived in an average household, and she was less fortunate. Poor, maybe her stepdad was abusing her, but at the age of 7 you had no real grasp of the concept. It was all innocence. Then you got better friends, and so did she. Over the years more classmates stood as a buffer between the you and her. And when puberty came, forget it. In the eyes of gossiping peers there was simply no possibility of a relationship without romance. That's just not how things work, not in high school.
And now you're obligated to go to college, and she doesn't have a chance. Or a care, for that matter. She's on a different plane now. Most of your friends don't do drugs, but she can't say the same. That's just her world now. Her music is disgusting, she smokes and dresses like a whore and her friends laugh way too loud. But she laughs with them, so what can you do? You've both drifted away, so gradually that its hard to see when the paths split. Considering your respective upbringings, your were both probably fated into your current positions since the day you were born. Whatever
She became just another face in the hall years ago. Whatever. One very important but uneventful morning you stood outside the library doors, waiting for it to open before homeroom. There are scads of people going by, not necessarily your people though. There's one clique coming by, so obscenely loud that you can hear them before they even turn the corner. You know, that group. You generally don't judge people, but to you they're just animals. Just being in the same room kills you a little bit on the inside. Also, she's with them. Batting off gropes and bantering and smirking and laughing with those animals and killing you on the inside. And they come down the hall, closer and closer in what seems like the slowest moving oncoming freight train of social uncertainties. And they're two feet away, close enough for you to wave to her, or make smalltalk or to just grab her hand and pull her out of that world. But the glass barrier that society has placed down between you is goddamn bulletproof. Look, but don't touch! You're now zoo exhibitions to each other. Walk by and casually peer into their enclosed habitat, but don't wake the specimen.
But she does. Or you do. Either way you've made the mistake of locking eyes with a face in the hall. Only for a second or two, her attention splits from her clique and she looks at you. An exchange of glances so sharp that it puts a dent in that obstructive glass pane. Only for a second. Maybe two. It's enough time for you to see realization in her eyes. Enough time for you to see the telltale crack of regret in the form of a crease on her forehead. To recount the past 10 years in an instant and wonder what the hell happened. You lock eyes with her and you see the little girl down the street, or rather, her final death spasm. In her last act of barely-conscious desperation her glance tosses out to you a lifeline.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:00
I had a crush on a girl in college.
So I wrote her name on my dick in mascara, took a picture of it, made a fake facebook account, added her and sent her the pictures.
I have no fucking idea why,
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:01
ok so im in school and this kid i dont like his name is shawn he starts botering me because hes a jerk and he always picks on me like pushing me around and stuff anyway usualyi dont usualy do anything cuz i get scared but that day he was pushing me into the wall while i was walking to class with my friends and evry1 was quiet cuz no1 wanted to get picked on but i was starting to get angry so i said to him stop it already, shawn and he's like f*** u, dork make me and im like fine thats it!!!11! so he pushes me and i fall on my face and evry1 around gets in a group and starts going fight fight fight and shawns like get up you b**** so i get up slowly and im REALLY angry and i turn around and i feel like theres this power inside me so i start screaming at him like goku so evry1 in the group backs up and looks scared and even shawn started to back up and look scared so i yell at him you shuldnt have messed with a sayian!!!1! i put my hands back and go kameeeeeeehameeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaa and i try to shoot it i dont see it but i could feel the forc e of it (im training it now so i can see it) and shawn backed up a bit so i coul dtell him i hit him wiht it too then he turned around and walked awya cuz he was scared and evry1 in the gruop walked away too and my friends all come up to me and start saying stuff like good job and my friend chris says dude your hair turned gold for a second and im like really and hes like yeah and then all my other friends are like yeah i saw that too so thats the story of how i learned that i was a saiyan
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:01
>watching animu in the library after school
>some noisy jocks come over and look over my shoulder
>start laughing and teasing me
>I calmly reach into my bag and take out my homemade death note
>jock #1: lol what is dat shit
>me: nothing
>I ask them what their names are
>jock #2: why do you wanna know faggot? you gay?
>jocks laugh
>me: no reason, I don't need them anyways since I have the shinigami eyes
>them: the what? haha what a faggot
>they walk away scared
>I put my death note back in my backpack and resume watching anime
Fuck yeah that felt good. Have you ever been badass without resorting to violence /a/? Tell your story here
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:02
No one cares about the disgusting whores that shit all over the board. They are a fucking disease that should be stopped. In their wake they leave nothing but shitposts and white nights. I long for the days before moot was a faggot, when he had the manhood to do the right thing and wordfilter ""femanon"" to ""cumdumpster"" so it would better reflect the nature of 4chan whores. Pity it isn't global.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:03
I've already graduated from a better university than you could possibly dream of, and I'm retired at 31 because I happened to patent something at the right time.
There's always someone better than you, and what of it? It doesn't mean shit. I was happier in high school when my slacking off was actually slacking off and not "I'm retired and have nothing to do."
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:03
The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you called stupid, he has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you called ugly? She spends hours putting make-up on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There’s a lot more to people then you think. Put this as your status if you’re against bullying.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:03
This is a difficult question. What defines a loli?
Let's say we had an all-female race, human in all accounts except for their gender ratio and method of development. For the purposes of this discussion, call them the lolis of Theseus. They would be born as normal little girls, though they would develop secondary sex characteristics suddenly over the period of several seconds. In addition, instead of being governed by hormonal changes that transform several aspects of the body at once, their secondary sex characteristics would develop independent of each other. So a loli of Theseus may gain large breasts at age 10 and live as an oppai loli until she gains pronounced curves at age 12, the tendency to say "Ara ara, ufufufu~" while smiling and holding her hand to her cheek at age 13 and so on until she becomes an onee-san. In addition, the order this changes occur is also random. Surely, the initial little girl is a loli, while the end product is not. However, where is the point where one should consider a loli of Theseus to be a loli no longer?
In short, if we take a little girl and start replacing her parts with that of a mature woman, as occurs in both this thought experiment and plain old puberty, at which point exactly does she stop being a loli?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:04
I am an atheist and I hate fucking atheists so much. This idea is completely ludicrous and clearly you're just some weirdo who loves blaming bad things on religion. Possibly as a child you were forced to go to Sunday School when you wanted to play video games and now this is your infantile way of striking back. Anyway keep in mind the Albigensian Crusade was less than a thousand years ago and that many scientific developments of the Roman Empire were preserved in the Indian and Arab empires. Certainly some was lost, but nowhere near a thousand years of progress. Anyway what makes you think the Cathars had loads of advanced scientific knowledge, the idea makes no sense.
The library of Alexander was mostly destroyed by Julius Caesar, and while it was partially rebuilt it slowly grew smaller and smaller over time as the Roman Empire broke down and Alexandria ceased to be the greatest city of the world. Maybe it's fun to blame it on yucky Christians but it's ahistorical.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:04
I love underaged girls for many reasons and my age range is anything from 8 to 30 years old. The perfect loli age for me is around 10-12 years old. She still has no pubic hair or breasts but her overall body already has some sexy form.
Flat chests: I love their smooth bare chests with 2 cute little nipples. I like to gently squeeze their breast area so that it looks they do have breasts, then I suck their nipples, pretend breasts and all.
Bald hairless pre-pubescent vagina: God's gift to mankind. Unlike women's vaginas, little girls vaginas are completely hairless and look like beautiful flowers, not fish. My penis would usually be too big to insert into their vagina so I just place the head of my penis onto her vagina and make short and gentle thrusting motions. Alternatively, I like to just use her vagina hole to caress my penis up and down, from the base to the tip. The friction alone is enough to make me cum.
Her little mouth and little fingers: Like her vagina, a little girl's mouth is not enough to take the whole of my penis but they can take enough. The combination of her inexperienced mouth around the tip of my penis and her hands clutched around my shaft is heavenly.
Her carefree and innocent personality: Unlike a woman, a little girl is not bitter, jaded or cynical. Her desire for money hasn't come around yet so she only has one thing that motivates her: curiosity for the unknown. The look of a girl's face when she sees an erect penis for the first time is a mastercard moment.
And that's why I love little girl lolis. What about you?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:05
おはようございます.
Oh shit, what did she say? She said something! To me! But I wasn't con –
おげんきですか?
OK, OK, I know this one. Where have I heard it before? Naruto 43? Oh god she's so hot –
わたしのなまえはかおりです.
Fuck, I couldn't find the right words. Was it oro? Was it dattebayo? Was it anata baka?!?
おなまえはなんですか.
You know what, it doesn't even matter! Her voice sounds as good as she looks. I don't need to say anything. I could do this forever. This is goddamn bliss.
"..."
She suddenly seemed apprehensive, like she was cautious of what she wanted to say next. Loveu loveu confession desu?!
"Yes, what is it?" I blurted out.
"OH HEY MAN YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH?"
"What?" What?
"OH YEAH YOU DOES HAY NICE I LIKE."
No. NO! This was not coming from her mouth. It couldn't be.
"OH HAY YOU FROM AMERICA I LIKE. SO COOL! FUCK!"
no no no no no no
"I LOVE ALL AMERICA MOVIE AND SERIE. OH HAY DO YOU WATCH FRIENDS YES. ROSS AND RACHEL. COOL!"
"Um ... pleasu speaku Japanesu."
"NO ENGLISH MUCH BETTER I LEARN MANY YEAR AND COLOUR HAIR TO LOOK LIKE HILLARY DUFF. SO CUTE! FUCK!"
"I CAN SPEAK JAPANESEU SO ONEGAI PLEASE SPEAK JAPANESE TO WATASHI!"
"MORE INTENSITY LOGER MOORE RIP MY STOCKINGS RIP MY STOCKINGS LOL"
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:05
For 23 years and 11 months had I suffered them, the ignorant gaijin back home who sickened me with their microwaved culture and their materialism. The spindly losers in the anime club who cared only for anime and not a whit for the superior monoethnic culture to which it was endemic. Well no more. Fucking zettai no more. I touched down in the country I was certain I had lived all my previous lives, no doubt as a badass ronin samurai ninja or some shit. I had never been here, but I had returned.
Nippon-sama, tadaima!
No sooner had I left the airport when I saw the woman of my dreams. She confirmed my every hope, my every ideal of this great land. The light coming in through the sakura backlit her like a full body halo. She was made of demure and soft spoken. Of bowing and bento.
Of Japan and perfect.
My heart started doki doki-ing all over the shop. And then she saw me! Spotted me in the crowd! Well, of course she did, I was like a head taller than the fucking hobbits they call men around here. I was in no state of mind to meet her gaze, and tried to look away but I was paralysed. She was just so ... prettyu ...
And just like that she started walking over. Her walk was just pure concentrated sex. If you poured a glass of it sex fumes would just rise right off the top. I loved the way the light danced unevenly over her pristine porcelain skin as she walked. The way she did more for me by showing just her shoulders than any American girls could by showing their entire gaping cleavage for all the world to SEE THIS YOU SHOULD TAKE NOTES, THIS IS WHAT SEXY IS YOU FUCKING WHORES -
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:06
Gentlemen, I like VLC.
Gentlemen, I love VLC!
I like AVI, I like RMVB.
I like 120fps, I like interlacing.
I like rainbowing, I like the dot crawl, I like blocking.
I like the ringing, and I like tinny audio.
On a computer, a DVD player, a PS3, on a Mac, on an Archos. I truly love each and every kind of artifact man can encode to a file.
I like the broken ASS support when even the simplest of lines fails to render correctly. When the translator’s notes overlap the main dialogue, it makes my heart dance!
I like when an encode displays like it is corrupted! It always left a warm feeling in my chest when they would check the CRC, only to find it is correct.
I like it when #darkhold encoders post on AnimeSuki and rage about the topic at hand. I recall how much it moved me, seeing how epic longposts were made - how they would shun the subject again and again, even though it wouldn’t die. And it’s painfully exciting when a leecher posts about how great it is in the same thread. And how wonderful it is to have 120fps for a show that is a constant 23.976!
And that pitiful resistance, encoding to h264, despite it being harder on the CPU. I even remember when Xvid had a 10:1 leecher ratio!
I like it when the MKV fanboys are thrown into chaos. And when the VFR feature they are supposed to be promoting is violated repeatedly… oh how very sad it is.
I like it when the detail and sharpness in HD encodes are crushed and obliterated! And them being filtered, smearing and ghosting and looking worse than a standard DVD. Gentlemen, what I want is a low bitrate hell.
Gentlemen, my compatriots…
Leechers, you who abuse my XDCC bots…
Gentlemen, what do you desire? Do you also want eyecancer? Is a return to the age of VCDs what you want?
Do you yearn for a VHS encode that stretches the very limits of poor quality, the artifacts so intense that it makes Stevie Wonder cringe?
Very well then, we shall have VLC.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:06
Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.
Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"
You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.
Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.
But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:06
Today was Memorial Day (or as the niggers call it Me-mole day) and I decided to work out today. Our university has a workout room and I figured I could get a good workout in without anyone being there. I opened the trunk of my car and started putting my wallet and phone in the trunk so that they wouldn't be a burden to me while working out. Sure enough, a rastafarian looking nigger with dreadlocks was watching me from the track and I knew that he would try to break into the car. I put my wallet in my pocket and my phone and took them into the workout room with me. A few minutes later, I heard a banging on the door. I went to the door and the nigger was standing there wanting in. He said he needed to use the baffroom, then he started axing me what all was in the workout room. I told him that the room was for members only and he started shucking and jiving towards the baffroom. When I finished my workout about an hour later he was at the track walking around with a coalburner chick. Looks like another one is gonna get raped. On a side note, thank you to all the veterans reading this for giving us the freedoms that we have.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:07
The Jews will not rest until they ignite the whole world with the fire of their conflicts Our war against Zionism is not a war against the Israeli government [alone], but a much greater war. It is a war against World Zionism that has begun controlling decision centers, controlling the Security Council, controlling the US government, controlling Arab countries, controlling many countries around the world. Allah warned us of the Jews and their conflicts. The Jews are behind any conflict that can cause world destruction.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:07
The most powerful man at the "British" Broadcasting Corporation is Alan Yentob (Jewish), Director of BBC programmes. According to Broadcast magazine (14.6.1996) this "gives him control over all non-news BBC programmes including those for satellite channels and those in English for the World Service." Yentob is a close personal friend of the immensely powerful independent TV bosses Michael Grade and Michael Green. The three have shared holidays in the Caribbean and, together with Charles Saatchi, are referred to by coy insiders as the "St. John's Wood Mafia". The Saatchi and Yentob families have been closely connected since before they moved to Britain from Iraq.
Behind the scenes, Jews are well represented among the Governors of the BBC, who include former president of the merchant bank S.G. Warburg Sir David Scholey, Sir Kenneth Bloomfield and Janet Cohen. Holders of important BBC managerial posts include Sarah Frank, Chief Executive of BBC Worldwide Americas; Controller of Publicity and Public Relations, Keith Samuel, and David Aaronovitch, who is Managing Editor of the BBC's weekly programmes. Anne Sloman is Deputy Head of BBC News Programmes; Ruth Caleb is the Head of Drama, and Louis Marks has been Producer of Drama since 1976. Another key figure in terms of the BBC 's relationship with the rest of the world, Commercial Director at BBC Worldwide TV Tony Kay, is responsible for deals with American networks such as NBC. International Director of US cable operator TCI, Adam Singer - son of former BBC Director-General Aubrey Singer - has also been responsible for a number of recent big deals between the BBC and TCI's British subsidiary Flextech.
Head of BBC Comedy Entertainment is Jon Plowman. He is responsible for "alternative comedian" Ben Elton's Thin Blue Line, a person who likes being interviewed in th "respectable" Jewish Chronicle.
Jews in prominent positions in BBC regional TV include Rod Natkiel, Head of Network TV at BBC Midlands and East, and Roy Saatchi, Head of Local Programmes at BBC North.
The host of lower level functionaries who implement the wishes of the media masters in such stations also includes a vastly disproportionate number of Jews, such as Geoffrey Goodman, who broadcasts on BBC Current Affairs and LBC/IRN- BBC TV's legal correspondent Joshua Rosenberg. Naomi Goldman is not only a Producer on Newsnight, but is also a member of the Jewish Socialist Group. Another militant Zionist in BBC is writer and broadcaster Lisa Jardine.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:07
OP, Jews run everything. Nazi and Commies were ran by the Jews. Some say that modern Society of the Muslim Brothers is too being run by the Jews, despite their open anti-semitism. Today you cant trust any party or information source, because even scientific periodical have jewish owners (how do you think plagiarist Einstein became so recognized "genius"?).
Commie Zionists spent millions of Soviet money on their goals and Israel, even taking the place of bourgeoisie, they fought against a few years before http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genrikh_Yagoda
Yagoda was born in Rybinsk into a Jewish family. He joined the Bolsheviks in 1907.
Yagoda's two Moscow apartments and his dacha contained 3,904 pornographic photos, 11 pornographic films, 165 pornographic pipes, one dildo. He had spent four million roubles decorating his three homes, boasting that his garden had '2,000 orchids and roses'
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:08
A Jewish, communist, homosexual liberal ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was once teaching a class on Karl Marx.
"Before the class begins," the Jewish abortion doctor said, "you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL stood up, holding up a rock.
”How old is this rock, Eurofag?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly. He smugly replied, “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.”
”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal by now.”
The professor was visibly shaken and dropped his chalk. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears (the same tears liberals cry for the “poor”, who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators and jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators).
There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day before accepting Jesus Christ as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag, shedding a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague "AIDS" and was tossed into a lake of fire to rot for all eternity.
Semper Fi.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:08
Reported so hard I went back in time to Nazi Germany and developed a new kind of autism called "Aushwizm." I then infiltrated the Nazi party and became a doctor dealing with human experimentation, where I infected hundreds of thousands of Jews with this "Aushwizm," which enhanced and magnified their very Jew-like traits. Their Jewish afros grew wildly and their big noses grew out of control so that they sometimes had trouble running between their camps when they were forced to. After completing these decidedly evil deeds, I returned to the present so that OP may know I am the cause of him having to sit 12 feet from his screen to avoid puncturing it.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:08
There are a few exceptional blacks that contribute and coexist peacefully with their neighborhoods. The rest of the blacks hate them and call them "uncle tom" because they're "acting white". Black males are about 6% of the population and commit over 50% of murders. They mostly murder other blacks but when they do murder whites Jesse Jackson is oddly quiet.
Most blacks have a "thug" or "gangsta" culture that glorifies violence, drug abuse, abuse of women, racism against whites, incarceration, an ignorant dialect of pidgin English, and the failure to assume paternal responsibility. It is a gutter culture of anti-achievement. The most idiotic of whites embrace it too, like the white kids from nuclear families who grew up in the suburbs and think they're hardass street gangbangers. If you pardon the vernacular they would shit their pants if they wound up in a real ghetto with real gangsters but that is not the point. The point is this gutter culture is not only toxic. It is contagious. It doesn't just infect urban blacks and impressionable white youth. It is the main reason that black-on-black crime happens at a much bigger rate than white-on-black crime during the Jim Crow era.
Most black males will have been incarcerated at least once by the time they are 30 years old. Blacks have a higher rate of obesity than whites or Asians or Hispanics. Their rate of children born out of wedlock (better known as bastards) is twice the rate for whites. They score lower than whites or Asians on IQ tests which makes Liberals come up with flimsy and poorly supported excuses, anything to avoid admitting a real inferiority. Despite blacks having been born and raised in the USA for many generations, they still do not speak proper English with no discernable"accent", something Asian immigrants do within 1-2 generations.
Almost all modern scientific discoveries were made by whites and Asians. Add up all the contributions to society blacks have made. And then subtract from that the costs of political correctness, welfare, affirmative action, lectures and seminars and 'sensitivity training' for diversity, crime including damage done to the victims and court costs and incarceration costs and law enforcement costs, the costs of bussing for black schoolchildren, the decline in property value of homes as black gangs move in, plus the constant media sensationalism about race and the money/energy wasted on it, and the election of Obama.
As a group blacks are a net drain on society. FACT!!
P.S. The real insult is blacks scream for more and more because it's never enough for them instead of being grateful we put up with their net drain status. They are much better off here than they would be in Africa because black-goverened nations always fail horribly and that's just another FACT.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:08
To the best of my memory, before I came to the saving grace of Jesus Christ, I did not believe the Bible was true. I doubted whether God, Satan, heaven, or hell even existed. I believed that we were born, lived so many years, and then died. I had my own business and thought that I had succeeded by my own wits.
One evening, my wife and I heard some documentation that these were the last days before Jesus Christ would actually return. Not wanting to hear it, I almost walked out. Something kept me there, and I listened but was not convinced; however, I decided to do some research to find out if the Bible was really true. Indeed, if I could find one contradiction or anything that was not true, then I could disregard it. I believed this would not take long. This led me into much research. I learned nearly one-third of the Bible is, directly or indirectly, related to prophecy, which includes about 10,000 prophecies. One thing needed was to determine when the Bible was actually written. Thus, a study of biblical history, various translations, and archaeology was necessary. The Dead Sea Scrolls, which were found in Israel, contained parts of the Old Testament, including prophecies of the coming of Jesus. It has been proven that these were written before Christ came. Thousands of clay tablets and archaeological sites also confirm many accounts in the Bible.
I took time off and began studying the prophecies. My wife would spend much time at the library. She obtained documentation for me from reference books, which I would check against the Scriptures to see if the prophecies took place. One week went by and then a month. Every prophecy that we were able to get information on proved to be accurate. I was astonished, but still not convinced. Later, there were people who would show me what appeared to be contradictions in the Bible. These were not contradictions, but only a lack of research on the part of those that said these things. Stubborn, that's me. Even after four months of intensive study, proving prophecy after prophecy was true, I was still skeptical. Four months turned into six. I became more determined. It wasn't possible that the sixty-six books of the Bible, written by many people over hundreds of years, would not have some errors, I thought. Thousands of prophecies and every one perfect? No, impossible! If I would admit that, then I would also have to admit there was a God. I was not prepared to do that—yet, I wanted to know the truth. More months passed. Finally, I had to admit after spending almost countless hours of research—I was wrong. I may have been the biggest skeptic in the world, but now I know—the Bible is true and is the perfect Word of God. Anyone willing to take the time I did and do the same research could only come to the same conclusion, if they are honest with themselves. I became afraid that I would perish. I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, as a result of His love, compassion, mercy and grace.
I know that there is none other name under heaven given among men whereby we MUST be saved (EXCEPT JESUS)-ref Acts 4:12. I REPENTED of my sins and received Jesus Christ as my only hope of salvation by FAITH-ref Eph 2:8-10. It is written, EXCEPT YE BE CONVERTED, AND BECOME AS LITTLE CHILDREN, YE SHALL NOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN-Mt 18:3. You can also call on Jesus NOW to be YOUR Lord and Savior.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:08
Mmmmmm... Fried pig pussy! Once you eat one of these pig pussy pork rinds, you'll never eat another.. human pussy again. But FUCK human pussy! I fuck dead pigs. You'll read all about it in heartburn how I fuck them dead pigs before I turn em into pork rinds!
I couldn't get no twat from serenity back then. She only wanted dildos in her pussy twat. Big phony bologna dicks. But now she wants this real cock. Come here serenity lets show these assholes how we fuck. Lets show these assholes how we fuck. My sweet sweet serenity.
Fuck an umbilical cord out of your phony asshole, and I'll hang a pig with it, while I impregnate you with my 80 year old pork rind dick. You'll give birth to a dead pig and we'll cut him into pork rinds.
I'll eat pork rinds with god. In a land that speaks only with its eyes. No language, no dildos, no fucking laws! Where the whores can't sell their pussy. Or use their twats to gold dig. A land where us warriors run free with our big dicks out, and our fucking hair wild.
Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Salt their dead skin and put em in plastic bags. Fuck you, you fucking, farting robots. Suck my dead pig. Suck my dead pig!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:09
Im looking for a print function, it cant be printufu (thats japanese for printf) or any stdio function. It has to be of 2 or more parameteru (thats japanese for 2 parameters) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post documentation of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching input reading (WITH error handling). OH! and it CANNOT have any complicated syntax, or be made out of C. It has to be made of C++, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a function similar to the one im describing in sourceforge, but it was 1 parameteru, and i dont want my formatou (formatting) to touch my other things (it can get mixed up and i would not like that, plus 2 paraneters looks more kawaii)
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:09
want to be the hamburger.
I want Saten-san to bite into me, her soft lips pressing against my buns. Bit by bit she will devour me, covering me a mess of warm saliva that would put the wettest kiss to shame. Then she would swallow me, every last drop of me, down her throat.
Then her stomach acids would start pounding on me from all sides. I want to give Saten-san all my nutrients. My vitamins. My minerals. All of it. I want her to have all of it so that her smile stays radiant and happy.
And then I will be in Saten-san's rectum. I will be in Saten-san's rectum! A special place where no man has gone before. I will be there. And then, before my final departure into the toilet, I will catch one small glimpse of her other special place. It will be the last thing I see before I head into the cold, darkness of the sewers. But I will have lived a happy, fulfilled life.
That is all.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:09
I have a 10 year old sister. She's not the girl in the picture but she has this picture on her facebook because it was a girl in the newspaper that looks so much like her that her friends tagged her in it. I will NOT post her actual pics so don't ask.
Here's the problem. I'm 24 and since my sister was 6 (and I was 20) she used to play this game were she'd sit on my lap facing the TV watching music videos and bounce and dance around. It wasn't an issue until a few months ago.
She's starting to develop physically and I accidentally got a hardon one time. I think she felt it because when it happened she started bouncing around a little faster and it made me even harder. I thought it was innocent until she turned back and gave me a glance like she knew I was getting turned on and was doing it on purpose.
It's happened a few times since then on weekends that I'd visit and now I'm back from college for the summer I'll be living with her for a few months.
I'm a bit ashamed to say that yesterday she got me so turned on that I excused myself and jerked off in the bathroom. Just as I was about to finish she came up to the door (luckily it was locked) and asked if I was coming back out and the sound of her voice made me cum the hardest I ever came.
I'm thinking of sitting down with her in a serious way and telling her she's getting too old to play like this with me. I don't know how to best say it because she's only 10 so she can't really know what she's doing. Anyone else experience something like this?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:09
I'm kicking myself right now. I was just at Food4Less and there was some homeless guy who was steal some booze and I was right there buying my groceries when some guy shouted "that homeless guy just stole some booze!" And I stood there feeling shocked and really bad for him when he was stopped by staff there. When I went outside after I bagged my groceries I thought of a plan to save him. I should have said "Hey he's just bringing it to my car. He didn't know he couldn't go past the register without paying." I could have saved that guy and bought him some booze if he wanted it that bad. I could have been his hero, his friend. But all I did was stare down and do nothing to defend the guy. I have been feeling bad ever since because I was buying beer myself with a credit card so it's practically stealing too, in a way. I could have been a hero but instead I was just a dumb coward and now someone is going to jail for it.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:10
Sex is the mind-killer.
Sex is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my sex.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the sex has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:10
listen you cunt, i cant call you fat but i can definitely call you a cunt because you're being one.
you are a fucking pathetic little faggot bitch, and i want you to come to my house and spew the same bullshit you post in here to my face.
oh wait,i dont need to worry about you coming to my house because you would never do it. youll just continue to sit behind a fucking computer screen and act like fucking mike tyson to every guy you meet, when in reality you are a fat virgin neckbeard loser with cheeto dust in his beard and a pillow with a hole in it that you fuck every night
seriously, its so god damn pathetic to just watch people like you. like, i want to try to be angry at you, but honestly i just want to be your friend out of pity because i know you dont have any besides the friends on your wow account.
you should honestly just draft up a suicide note right now and continue adding to it every day little by little as the failures of your life pile up day after day and you wil finally have an entire book worth of your failures and can finally kill yourself and make your family and online friends happy.
of course, you would probably fuck it up and miss your brain stem so you have to shoot yourself in the head 2-3 times while in agony to go out like a wounded dog, or you will try to mix bleach and ammonia but the room will be a bit too ventilated so you weel literally feel the chlorine gas burning away the lining of your lungs and suffer in horrific, unfathomable agony for 5 minutes as you literally burn and melt from the inside out after you start vomiting up your own lungs and liquefied lung begins pouring out of your nose and you slowly suffocate to death.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:10
fuck you, ive raped people for far less than this. you think you can fucking come on OT and just act like a fucking hardass and order people around? Bad news for you, fuckface, but tonights the night your luck runs out. You fucking tell ANYBODY on these forums what to do again, and you're going to find out the hard way what a fucking baseball bat to the side of the skull feels like. Think I'm fucking kidding? I have your IP, I know who you are, and Im more than willing to settle this argument face to fucking face. You call yourself "Hooligan"? We'll see who's the hooligan when one of us is lying face down in a pile of their own blood, shit, and piss. Try and order someone else on here around, and see what fucking happens to you. I'm normally a calm guy but when I need to, I'm willing to break some fucking face to get my point across, just fucking test me you worthless sack of excrement.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:10
Where will we be in 5, 10, 15 years
5 years
You: slowly getting fatter, girlfriend has had a bit to much work done, still work at your dead end job framing houses, she just said she is pregnant.
Myself: 2nd class engineer, making 250k+ a year, have an honest relationship, own a home, boat, camper, etc......... abit over weight but at 6'4" and 300lbs of highschool linemen I will always be bigger.
10 Years
you: married, dead end job, bald, fat, 3 kids one more on way, stuck in the glory days
me: 1st class engineer 500k+ a year job, recently married first kid on way
15 years
you: manager at your shitty job, 8 kids, debt out the ass, your "hot" girlfriend is spending all your money to get perrty
me: half retired spending half the year in mexico, 3-4 kids, no debt, loving marriage
I have planned for my life I work hard and respect people it will take me far.
PS: gonna buy a new 65K truck in a few weeks what do you drive, your moms old van?
pic is me in fucking Singapore
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:10
It's undescribable. He's mating with me, he's claimed me. I feel him slow, his cock still throbbing within me, it seems as though there's no more room for his cum. It's dripping out of me, onto his fur. I reach down, and then bring my hand up, tasting him. It's more than I ever expected. It's heaven.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:11
See, that's just what homosexuality really is. It's just people with gender dissociative disorder and attention whoring. It's nothing more than a fetish with a community surrounding the hobby aspect of it.
I'm pretty sure most gay people don't consider sissies or traps to be "real gheys" btw. They only consider people to be really gay if they dress like men and like manly muscle men. And there is not even a biological aspect to it, it's pure environment. Which only shows that it's just a fetish.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:11
>Live with 2 gay men, I am a straight female
>One is a magnificent flaming homo who is a ton of fun and my best friend because I'm a natural fag hag
>Other is militant transgenderqueer (Never did find out why he needs that term specifically) who was born a woman, but lives life as a gay man
>Always get shit from TGQ about how I'm "mocking the gay lifestyle" with my "cis privilege" when I don crazy drag queen makeup to head to the gay bar with the other guy
>TGQ gets hyper disgusted whenever I have my boyfriend over
>Makes gagging noises when we kiss or hug
>Complains about hearing us have sex, refuses to not stand right outside my door (My bedroom is 2 floors down from his)
>Hits on my boyfriend, rants when rejected that his "mind is closed by conservative media!!!"
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:11
Exactly. I think that we should just do sex changes on babies who are born with needledicks. Reasons:
1 - They are never going to please a woman anyway.
2 - They are more likely to be pedos, which no one likes.
3 - They have less testosterone, so they will be less manly anyway.
4 - They will be bullied for their small penis and they will be happier as women.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:12
My father and uncles started molesting me at age 3, and by age 6 it became full on gang rapes. I ran away from home at age 10 to a distant relatives house, where I paid the rent with hard labor tending his poppy fields. The terrible stress of this caused me to develop schizophrenia by age 12. I had my first hit of coke when I was 13 and was addicted to meth by the time I dropped out of high school at 16. After spending 4 years as a homeless male prostitute, I went to my local community college and quit drugs cold turkey. I majored in math and had a 4.00 GPA. Within a year, I transfered to MIT as a finance and business dual major with a minor in engineering. I'm 25 now and I am the CEO of a large investment bank that has more than $30 billion profit a year.
Moral of my story: It's never too late to turn your life around OP.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:12
I'm a skinny short man who usually doesn't want to have anything to do with anyone. I never rub others the wrong way, and tend to stay out of trouble. But one day I met my match. At a pub, I met a tall, huge, lumbering woman with copious amounts of fat covering her body, not quite chubby but rather in a well proportioned manner. Her breasts were large and generous and her thighs looked like a soft and wonderful heaven to rest one's tired sleepy head on. Her hips were wide and flabby and you sort of wanted to slap it to hear that satisfying 'plap' sound and watch it wiggle. She rather had a certain look to her, as if she would make a good mother. If I could describe her body in one word, it would simply be 'pudding'. Ah, pudding, a word which immediately reminds you of feelings like soft, warm, sweet and comforting. A melt-in-your-mouth moment that seizes your tastebuds in a trance of pleasure. Yes, pudding.. Thats the word.
Her face was a different story though. Framed by an aggressive straight locks which suddenly changed their minds and curled at the end, she always peered up at you from under her eyebrows as if to say "What are YOU lookin' at?". Her lips, coated in shiny gloss, was always shaped with the slight pout that you see on African-American women who had an attitude. And she always stood around with her weight resting on one leg, with one hand on her hip, as if she were judging you- no, as if she was staring you down. Objectively, she was beautiful, but trying to chat her up would just be an invitation for her to open up her butch, tomboyish, vitriolic personality.
Which leads me to the problem I see before me now. I have no clue what I did or what I said, but suddenly I found that she has stood up from her bar stool and hiked across the room to stand towering in front of me. She smelt like brandy and visibly seemed to be drunk.
Suddenly, she lunges at me, grabbing my shirt by the collar and lifting me into the air with her immense strength. She tosses me a short distance across the room and I uselessly try to stand back on my two feet using a table for support. Before I could fully adjust my balance, she chases after me and delivers two whopping uppercuts through my gut, causing me to buckle and nearly hurl my internal organs out. I am dazed and confused. Whats going on? Just what is happening to me right now? Before I realise it, she grabs me face-first and locks me inside what seems to be some kind of exotic wrestling hold. Just what is this? Her body is pressed up against my eyes, stopping me from seeing what shes doing to me. What is this odd feeling? This odd, familiar feeling? Wait.. No way. She's hugging me!! She's plunging my face between her huge breasts!! She is going to smother me to death!! My head, no, my whole body seems to sink into the warmth and softness of her generous body as we melt into one entity. I try to breathe but I can only pathetically manage to take in uselessly short gasps of air. The scent of her skin fills my nostrils, a smell thats sticky sweet, with a hint of brandy.. This is the greatest.. She is literally a delicious pudding, she is such a soft, warm, sweet, moist, delicious pudding and I am literally having her right at this moment!! As the last vestiges of my consciousness fades away and my eyeballs roll backwards to expose the whites of my eyes, alternating waves of sexual ecstasy and panic at my impending death convulse through my body in a seizure-like trance, an orgasmic pleasure climaxing in this perfect moment of bliss clouds my mind. A glob of her fat fills my mouth and I taste the sugary moisture of her sweat as I utter my final word.. "..Pudding...".
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:13
Why don't you get some friends, try to get laid, do something besides going on 4chan to try and act like a pretentious shitdick. If you had anybody in your life who actually wanted to listen to what you had to say you wouldn't be doing this, and if you weren't a complete piece of shit you would realize that nobody is going to read your point of view you faggot. Just stop or kill yourself, either or is fine with me
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:13
A wall of text is something that is frowned upon in most, actually virtually all Internet societies, including forums, chat boards, and 4chan. You should not make walls of text because it can get you banned anywhere unless it is a place that encourages walls of text. I highly doubt any place does support something so irritating and annoying, but anything can exist, but not really because unless you are in heaven then that can happen. But no one actually knows that was just a hypothesis, a lame one that is. Actually not really lame. You can create a wall of text supporting site, but you would be hated if you do that, so do not. But you can if you like, but I discourage that. Now on to the actual information of walls of texts. The wall of text was invented when the Internet was invented, but actually it was slow at that time. So whenever it became fast. But there would need to be some free or not free community for people, and that community would be able to have walls of text. But that community probably wouldn't have actually invented the wall of text. So basically, no one except God knows when or where or how the wall of text existed/was invented. Noobs probably invented, but probably not. Who knows. Walls of texts are usually filled with a lot of useless information and junk. Information and junk can be the same, but only if the information is junk or the junk is information. But who cares. The information/junk inside a wall of text are usually related to wherever the wall of text is located, but the best walls of text, which are actually the most irritating, most eye-bleeding ones, are completely random. Walls of text usually make the reader asplode or have their eyes bleed and fall out of their sockets.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:13
My cousin and I had gone to San Antonio, and we had heard rumors of some haunted railroad tracks. The story was, a school bus full of Mikus had stalled on these tracks with a train coming. The train was going too fast for there to be time to get the Mikus off. So they all died. When we finally found the tracks, we stopped the car, parking it right on the railroad tracks. We were both a little nervous, and scared, and waited for something to happen. Just when we were about to leave, the car started rolling. We were both too freaked out to do any more than grab each other and gasp, eyes wide, mouths open. After what seemed like an eternity, (but was actually less than five minutes tops) the car stopped rolling. We looked around, and we were off the railroad tracks.
Now, that may not seem spooky, but what we saw next scared us enough to jump back in the car and make the six hour trip home THAT NIGHT. Both of us got out of the car and walked around to the back. After the first six hour drive, our car had accumulated quite a bit of dust on it. That's not scary, no. But what was scary was the little sets of leekprins all over the back of the car. All the size of Miku's hands
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:14
MOOT IS A SONNAVA BITCH!
did I ever tell you guys about the time Moot and I went to have a drink? We went looking for a bar and found an empty lot and Moot says "HERE IT IS!" And we waited for an entire year, and I finally look up and they built an entire Bar around us! After we were done drinking Moot burns the place to the ground saying "Always leave things the way you found them!"
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:15
My mom called my doctor and said to him "What's the most accurate measurement for weighing?"
The doctor said "An underwater weighing test"
And just like that, my mom said "Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?" and the doc said "Today at 2pm."
So, I didn't bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants…Ugh).
My sister said "Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?" The doctor said "No."
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn't.
My mom wanted to do something instead of weighing myself on a scale. She heard about a underwater weighing test from my doctor last year and she wanted to give it a try to both, myself and my sister.
My sister had to wear pants and a bra, so she enjoyed minutes of going underwater.
I didn't take a shower and she didn't too.
Before she got into the tank, you see girls 'pretend' to pull their hair into ponytails, but they don't. That's what she did.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:16
BLASTOISE WOULD NEVER HURT MY MOM. HE WOULD NEVER MAKE HER CRY LIKE HER BOYFRIEND JOHNNY DOES. IF BLASTOISE WAS MY DAD THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.
BLASTOISE WOULDN'T COME HOME SMELLING FUNNY AND HE WOULD NEVER HIT ME. HE WOULD HYDRO PUMP JOHNNY.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:16
I READ THIS GUYS POST AND IMMEDIATELY SAID TO MYSELF, I'M GOING TO SIT RIGHT DOWN AND TELL THIS MOTHERFUCKER EXACTLY HOW I EAT MY MOTHERFUCKING STEEL CUT OATZ
I MAKE A GIGANTIC FUCKING BATCH EVERY FOUR DAYS. WHEN IM DONE I HAVE AN ENOURMOUS BOWL OF STEEL CUT OATZ AND AT THIS POINT I GENERALLY TAKE THE FIRST FEW FEET OF MY COCK OUT OF MY PANTS AND FAP BECAUSE THE SIGHT IS BEAUTIFUL
EVERY MORNING I TAKE A GOODLY PORTION OF THAT FUCKING POND OF GLORY AND I POUR VANILLA FUCKING SOYMILK INTO THE FUCKING BOWL WITH THE FUCKING OATZ AND I PUT THEM IN THE MICROWAVE WHERE I PICTURE THEM FUCKING WHILE THEY HEAT UP
I'VE NOW GOT A BOWL OF HOT OATZ AND AN INFALLIBLY RIGID DICK BUT I AM NOT DONE MOTHERFUCKER AND IT IS NOT YET TIME TO EAT
I REACH AROUND BEHIND ME AND GRAB MY NUTS FROM THE CUPBOARD AND SPRINKLE A BUNCH OF WALNUTS INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL. I GRAB MY RAISINS AND I SHAKE MY RAISINS INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL, I GRAB MY PRUNES AND I LAY MY PRUNES INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL, AND I GRAB MY FUCKING NAKED BANANA AND I LAYER IT INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL.
AT THIS POINT I COLLAPSE ONTO THE FLOOR AND FUCK A NEW HOLE INTO THE HARDWOOD OF MY KITCHEN BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T FUCKING STAND MY GORGEOUS FUCKING OATZ, THEN I STAND UP AND I EAT THAT FUCKING BOWL, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING INCLUDING THE BOWL ITSELF, WITHOUT ANY UTENSILS AND THEN I GO THROW MYSELF AT THE SEX DOLL I HAVE DRESSED UP LIKE THE QUAKER OATZ GUY AND I LITERALLY FUCK IT UNTIL MY NEIGHBORS CALL THE COPS.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:17
Well my first gay experience happened like this:
I was about 50 yards or so up this path when I noticed a man standing off the side of the path apparently staring into the woods. As I got closer I realized his pants were down around his ankles and I could see his ass. Now, I'm straight but I have to say that it was a really nicely shaped ass for a man and I took notice. I figured maybe he was drunk and just peeing in the bushes, so I started to walk quieter so I wouldn't disturb him. But as I got closer I started hearing strange grunts and sucking sounds. I realized there was another man blowing him.
Now, I'm not gay but I slowed my pace down to watch. I slowed and approached the standing man from behind. His friend didn't take any notice as his eyes were tightly closed. I came right up behind the man standing so that I could have reached out and touched him. That's when I brought the cinder block down on his head, hard. He collapsed on top of his faggot friend and I quickly finished them both off. I rolled them into the bushes and finished my walk. That was only my first of many such gay encounters.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:17
I'm just wondering: have you guys ever craved cock so badly that you found yourself running around outside, howling at the moon for it? Literally ROARING at the top of your lungs, wanting nothing less than a dick's head churning against your glottal stop?
Tell me I'm not alone.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:18
Hey OP your a faggot and your penis is really small
cut penises are better and healthier than uncut penises
north america is full of fat bible rubbing rednecks and dildo worshiper homosexuals
girls are turned off by fordyce spots
black men are superior to you because they can actually please women unlike you silly honkey
you like to pleasure yourself by inserting pineapples into your rectum and pins in your urethra and suck mens nipples and armpits at night
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:18
i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:18
Hello, I am a heterosexual man who fantasizes about being a sexy, horny young woman and sucking cock and getting fucked and filled up with cum. Specifically, I fantasize about walking in on my older sister (I do not have a sister) and her well hung boyfriend and then my sister decides that it is time that "I" (a 14 year old girl - although sometimes I switch it up and I'm only 13. I reality I am a 34 year old man) learned about sex, so she undresses me and has me straddle her boyfriend (he is sitting on a floral print sofa) and he feels up my tits and we kiss and I grind my tiny, soaked pussy on his cock, but there is no penetration and then my sister pulls me down to the floor and instructs me on how to perform fellatio and he cums in my mouth and then my sister kisses deeply me and we 69 for a while during his refractory period during which I give me sister a rim job which she loves although at first she was a bit shocked. Following that her BF plows me (sometimes doggy style other time missionary and sometimes I climb onto him on the sofa.
Am I the only guy like this? Also, don't tell my wife. Pic is the woman who does Haruhi's voice in Japanese.
If anyone has photos of the woman who does Haruhi in the English dub, that would be cool to see.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:19
I bought two of these bitches earlier today. Yes, my friends, you are seeing correctly. Do not adjust your set - I am in control of the vertical and the horizontal. That's fifty (count 'em) nuggets for ten bucks.
I ate all 100 of them (I counted, because I was going to bitch if there wasn't 100). Twelve BBQ packets were used in total. That's eight-ish nuggets per BBQ.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:20
"Whereupon it occurred to me--so it is with everyone. Just as I dress and go out to visit the professor and exchange a few more or less insincere compliments with him, without really wanting to at all, so it is with the majority of men day by day and hour by hour in their daily lives and affairs. Without really wanting to at all, they pay calls and carry on conversations, sit out their lives at desks and on office chairs; and it is all compulsory, mechanical and against the grain, and it could all be done or left undone just as well by machines; and indeed it is this never-ceasing machinery that prevents their being, like me, the critics of their own lives and recognizing the stupidity and shallowness, the hopeless tragedy and waste of the lives they lead, and the awful ambiguity grinning over it all. And they are right, right a thousand times to live as they do, playing their games and pursuing their business, instead of resisting the dreary machine and staring into the void as I do, who have left the track. Let no one think that I blame other men, though now and then in these pages I scorn and even deride them, or that I accuse them of the responsibility of my personal misery. But now that I have come so far, and standing as I do on the extreme verge of life where the ground falls away before me into bottomless darkness, I should do wrong and I should lie if I pretended to myself or to others that that machine still revolved for me and that I was still obedient to the eternal child's play of that charming world."
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:20
I FUCKING WISH YOU WERE 18 MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY ID COME TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. I GUARANTEE YOU WOULDNT STEP FOOT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. YOU ARE A FUCKING LONG HAIRED, NO LIFE, PATHETIC, CANT EVEN LOOK SOMEONE IN THE EYES WHEN THEYRE TALKING TO YOU, BITCH. THAT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO BALLS. YET YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT MY ASS, I DONT THINK IM A GREAT FIGHTER, BUT I GUARANTEE IVE BEEN IN MORE FIGHTS THAN YOU AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO TRY TO KICK THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. ALSO HAVE FUN FUCKING THAT FAT UGLY BITCH, WHATS HER NAME JESS, SHES FUCKIN HIDIOUS. NOW I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU, BECAUSE I WILL PISS YOU OFF ENOUGH TO HIT ME, THAN I WILL BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU, AND KICK YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. DONT THINK BECAUSE YOUR TALL PEOPLE WILL BE SCARED OF YOU, SIZE MEANS NOTHING IN A FIGHT, ITS EXPERIENCE. ID SAY YOUR BEST BET IS GOING FOR MY BALLS, LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH THAT YOU ARE, AND BRING A KNIFE, THAN YOU HAVE A CHANCE. YOU CAN ALSO BRING A FRIEND AND ILL KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES AT THE SAME TIME. WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME. IM NOT TRYING TO BE TOUGH, I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SHIT, BUT TO SAY SHES DISGUSTING, IS A JOKE WHEN YOU STICK YOUR DICK IN A COMPLETELY HIDEOUS FAT BITCH. I DONT TALK SHIT, I WILL BITCH YOU OUT WHEN I SEE YOU AND YOU WONT DO A FUCKING THING, WHITE TRASH PUSSY.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:20
I hate marijuana users.
I hate them with every fiber in my being. I hate them more than anything else in this world. I have more hate for them than anyone who has hate for something and I assume the rest of my Straight Edge brethren would sympathize with me.
Why do I hate them?
-They are breaking the law.
-They are using a substance that is more cancer-causing than tobacco and more harmful to the brain than alcohol.
-They make up bullshit lies about marijuana being a relatively safe substance and being useful for medicinal purposes despite the fact that there are tons of studies proving otherwise.
-They are influencing the mass media and our culture into condemning anyone who doesn't do drugs and glamourizing this poisonous deliriant of a drug.
-They verbally harass and condemn everyone who doesn't smoke weed.
I would also like to make clear that everyone who thinks weed should be legalized is a pot smoker. And I'm sure none of you Straight Edgers associate with anyone who smokes weed. Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:21
Hmmm.... I may not be welcome in this thread, because in my experience with molestation, I am not a victim. None the less.... I used to have a single mother as a room mate when I was in college, and her child was an extremely pretty six year old girl. Nice face, perfectly flat chest, no curves, red hair, blue eyes. Very lovely. It was agreed that I would only pay 40% of the rent if I would watch her after school, as my classes were in the morning. Anyway, I would have the little Cutie sit one my lap when she was watching TV. During the commercials she would tell me about her day and her friends. She was actually very interesting, and I never zoned-out like I do when adults ramble on. I liked to run my fingers through her hair and hug her. One time I started to rub her inner leg, she (correctly) deduced that it was impropriety and removed my hands and asked my why I did that. I told her that I loved her. She was obviously a little afraid but she said she loved me too, Then I realized for the first time that she was a child and that what I was doing was extremely evil. So I left and had a friend go pick up my stuff. haven't seen her. She would be eleven now. I'm sorry little Cutie, I hope that my interference didn't derail your life too much.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:21
I just don't get it, why do you even post here - especially since it is so much more moderated than it probably used to be? times have changed, we (moralfags) have won. people like me report all your threads as soon as you cross the line, the thread is deleted, some IPs are banned (not that it stops anyone from posting, but still). if you just fuck off and go to an abandoned chan, you don't get our nagging and you can ensure your way to serving time in federal prison as much as you want.
it's a win win situation: YOU get to be sick fucks, unmodded, unbothered by civilization (until the partyvan picks you up). WE get to have 4chan. it's really that simple.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:21
I HAT E w om e n. I never had a girlfriend and never will. The only times I got laid was when I paid a woman or promised her something. I'm never going to hold hands with a chick, kiss a girl intimately because we're in love, or any of the other shit that human beings were made to do. I guess that I'm suppose to be happy masturbating every fucking night. I'm a man with sexual urges and can't get with a female. I'm suppose to be alright with that? THERE IS A FUCKING CURSE ON MY LIFE. A CURSE THAT PREVENTS ANY FEMALE FROM LIKING ME. Oh I forgot, I do get interest from fat chicks and I'm not attracted to fat chicks.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to become the biggest asshole in the world. I tried the whole being considerate thing and it got me nowhere. If people can't handle my newfound harshness, then bring it on. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I get happy when I hear about some college slut getting murdered or injured in a hit and run. "oh she was a beautiful and talented girl, how could this happen." I don't know but I'm glad it did.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:21
I only go to uni so i don't have to pay taxes. I don't need these stupid ass dumb shit teachers to teach me anything. Why should I? I have a certified IQ of 110 and these losers fucked up their whole life so bad they're stuck as teachers. They don't even know shit about the subject they're teaching. If they knew anything about it, they'd be getting paid hundreds of thousands to do it right.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:22
I perceive the world as my own dream. I am truely alone, everything that exists was created by my inner being. I do not know this to be the truth, and sincerely hope it isn't, but all my experiences in life lead me to believe that I am entirely alone in an infinite existence.
I see war, government/corporate corruption, murderers, rapists, and I just wonder… why? Are these people truely human as I am? Why can't they just take life for what it is, live with love and enjoy the beauty of existence alongside one another? What do they know that I don't? What does Mr. CEO in his $45,000 car and $3000 suit see in the world that I don't see? What is going on in the brain of an Army soldier, shooting thoughtlessly at his human prey?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:23
Today I started my new job and it pissed me off. I had this fucking gook as a supervisor who thought he still was in fucking Hong-Kong, and treated me like I was a 12 year-old paid a nickel an hour. The place reeked, and I was told I was slow because I ended a service call in 15:37 with someone who understood didly-squat about the internet.
I quit 2 hours ago...
Did I do the right thing?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:23
Yeah so I ventured outside today, I just put my trainers on and got on with it. My missy was missing so I went into the house to look for her, she's a great wet thing to handle with care lest she bites. I put on her leash and took out my segway, by accident bumping into her butt. She snarled at me abd I knew this meant I had to sit up this night to watch another episode of Desperate housewives while feeding her crackers. Well, we got over it and she started on the hot pavement on alm fours. In the beat of a second the heated road had caused her to start jogging ever so slightly. My segway had to speed up to not be put out of balance as she went about violently, pale hips swaying in the hot summer air. I recognized a good spot for relief, so I followed her behind a convenience store where she went about her business without fear of being discovered. Into the convenience store we went and got our meals for the day, the clerk sneered at me when he saw my company, undubiously jealous of my companion. When all the items were packed we started heading home, the sky had taken on a yellow reddish color. As expected I let her rest on my lap as I fed her crackers during a unpretentious evening spent in the flickering light of the tv set which eventually enveloped us into sleep. get at home
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:23
When I was a child, I used to play leapfrog with my dad while naked. Sometimes he didn't make it over me and his penis landed in my anus. He would then say that it was stuck and couldn't get it out, so he had to move it in and out to free it. After cumming in my anus, he would then pat me on the head and tell me what a good boy I was. I've grown up since then and realize that he was sexually violating me. I am glad that he did it, since it created the relationship that he and I have today. My father divorced my mother and the two of us have been together ever since. While we have sex often, we still play a game of leapfrog every now and then to remind ourselves of how this wonderful relationship was created.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:23
I took some of your advice and tried to be more social.
There was a house party going on down the street from my house and I walked up to it.
>hey what's going on guys, I just got back from the bar downtown with friends (blatant lie) and I still feel like partying
>"this is a closed off private party, it's a house warming"
>oh what ever, that's cool. Then I walked away.
>a girl who was with the group outside I was talking to came from behind me and grabbed my hand
>"is it just you and not your friends"
>yeah it's just me
>Alright, I'll bring you inside and introduce you to the owner of the house
>So I went with her and everything went pretty well and I integrated in with everyone there
>then some people offered me to come across the street to their house to smoke weed in their garage
>I went with them even though I'm not much of a weed smoker
>I can't remember what we were talking about, but I remember things getting awkward.I then said I was gonna leave and go back to the party
>when I was leaving the garage I could hear them talking
>"OMG HE'S SO WEIRD AND CREEPY!"
>"WHAT'S HIS DEAL? He SAID he was 22 but he looks 10! LOL"
That hurt. I then walked home.
On my way I saw a shooting star streak across the sky. Despite having my soul crushed, that falling meteorite was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I was grateful to be alive.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:24
I was just idly browsing the internet, unaware of the restless destiny boiling inside me, when like a great bolt of lightning this image of the man hit me. At once, a great fury erupted from me as if the spirit of my great warrior ancestors suddenly posessed me- here was a man strong, proud, he who is prepared to lose all to defend what he believes to be right! He is your friend, a man who fights for justice!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:25
Oh what the fuck. I was lurking on my iPhone in a Denny's and was looking at that when the waitress came and saw that on the screen. I had to pay and leave without even finishing my fucking pancakes. Thanks a lot you faggot, now I have to drive all the way across town just to get some fucking pancakes because you decided it would be funny to post some fucking babyfuck on my favorite board.
Reported for spam.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:25
This one time I went into the deep web and I looked around and everything was pretty neat but then I went a bit deeper and I saw a skeleton so I freaked out and started to run but the skeleton started chasing me so I ran even faster but then my shirt got stuck on the fence so I screamed and closed my eyes and screamed some more and then when I opened my eyes I was in the surface web again and then I walked back to the deep web and I peeked in and the skeleton was still there and he was like "one day" and then he pointed and me and went back into the water and then my mom came home and she had bought a chocolate cake so everything worked out but i still think about it sometimes.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:26
I wish I could take moot out for dinner. We'd have a lovely meal together, three courses, but sharing a dessert. I'd pay the bill. After that, we'd go for drinks together at a little bar around the corner from the restaurant where we ate dinner. Him and I would both be fairly drunk at the end of the night, and while walking together back to a hotel room we'd booked earlier that day, we'd stumble into an alleyway, and start passionately making out with each other. I'd pull away for a moment, holding his face in my hands, and gaze into his eyes while telling him how beautiful he is. Then he'd kiss me once, take my head in his hands, and push me down onto my knees, at which point I'd give him the most incredible blowjob of his life. Once we were done, we'd hurry back to the hotel room, where he would throw me onto the bed, climb on top of me, and kiss me softly, before holding me down and taking me hard and fast, right there. Afterwards, I'd suck his magnificent cock again, before lying back in his arms, to spoon a while before dozing off to sleep together.
>mfw I'm so sad this will never happen, while also a little ashamed at imagining it so much.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:26
I’m 28 now but when I was 9 my older brother started touching me while I was sleeping, masturbated me and rub his penis in my ass.
I suddenly changed personality, from an extroverted kid to a very introverted one, always in my room, no friends, almost all my puberty depressed, I tried to never mention his name again, just call him "the other one" (I have another brother) and trying to keep always an eye on my little sister, worry about he will try the same with her.
I don’t know if it was not obvious for my parents the change in personality and my strong reluctance to be in the same place with him, now I know these and other behaviors I had then, are clearly a sign of child sexual abuse, but my parents are catholic (we live in South America) and they had an excellent relation with their families, so, they would never thought in something like this.
My dad change, for him been a good brother is very important and he never understood why I start hating my older brother. Why always when he talked something about him, I did faces, and why I transformed in a crybaby loner.
My mom for the other side interpreted this as a behavior- adolescence issue and start overprotecting me even more. Cause I didn’t have a social life and was very quit she always put me like an example of discipline, academically and at home, and we - my mom and I- formed a strong relationship that all the others- included my dad and sister- feel alienated from it.
So, this maked even greater the distance between my father and me. For him, I just was a bitter and loner guy that hated my siblings and didn’t have friends.
When I start university I meet many people very similar to me and I try to take command of my life and not be sad anymore. I made friends for the first time, and had a pretty busy social and cultural life in the visual arts faculty.
But also I started my sexual life, and I actually had from the beginning some quite unhealthy patterns: anonymous sex in public places, sex with guys I just met in gay bars, sex in gay saunas, and never getting out of the closed. So I never had an emotional evolved relationship with a partner and I was playing with my life having unsafe sex on this AIDS age. I’m negative but I aware that my unhealthy sexuality had a big deal to do with the sexual abuse I had.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:26
Shut your face up. I'm quite knowledgeable of the memory and people with extraordinary memories.... and all of them practice. So quit talking like a faggot and show some respect.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:27
dogs as far as the eye can see. a delicately intertwined network of dogs stretches out to the horizon, bathed in spring light... sunrise on Infinite Dogworld
the planet's surface is clothed in a flowing sheet of spaniels. dog-shadows blot out the land. maybe the dogs are the land. it's been millenia since any human has set foot on Infinite Dogworld.
it's a calm, clear day. the sun lends a honeyed hue to the coats of golden retrievers. a few clouds drift aimlessly through the sky's blue expanse - but wait! those are no clouds! bubbly puffs of fuzz and fur, canine cumulonimbus; levitating dogs waft through the heavens like hairy helicopters, wagging their tails to propel themselves. anything is possible on Infinite Dogworld.
how many dogs are there? no one knows. the dogs move as a single entity, the world's cutest bacterial colony. at some points they seem to blend into each other and blur together to create a semi-corporeal dogblob with legs and tails jutting out haphazardly. amorphous splotches of fur and dog-flesh, they are almost unidentifiable but still retain some characteristics of doggishness. this furry ameoba trudges doggedly on, tongues whipped by the breeze, across the sweeping plains of Infinite Dogworld.
there are no gaps in the dog chain. what happens when a dog dies? is a puppy born to take its place? perhaps there is no death on Infinite Dogworld. all dogs live forever. all dogs go to heaven.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:29
dogs as far as the eye can see. a delicately intertwined network of dogs stretches out to the horizon, bathed in spring light... sunrise on Infinite Dogworld
the planet's surface is clothed in a flowing sheet of spaniels. dog-shadows blot out the land. maybe the dogs are the land. it's been millenia since any human has set foot on Infinite Dogworld.
it's a calm, clear day. the sun lends a honeyed hue to the coats of golden retrievers. a few clouds drift aimlessly through the sky's blue expanse - but wait! those are no clouds! bubbly puffs of fuzz and fur, canine cumulonimbus; levitating dogs waft through the heavens like hairy helicopters, wagging their tails to propel themselves. anything is possible on Infinite Dogworld.
how many dogs are there? no one knows. the dogs move as a single entity, the world's cutest bacterial colony. at some points they seem to blend into each other and blur together to create a semi-corporeal dogblob with legs and tails jutting out haphazardly. amorphous splotches of fur and dog-flesh, they are almost unidentifiable but still retain some characteristics of doggishness. this furry ameoba trudges doggedly on, tongues whipped by the breeze, across the sweeping plains of Infinite Dogworld.
there are no gaps in the dog chain. what happens when a dog dies? is a puppy born to take its place? perhaps there is no death on Infinite Dogworld. all dogs live forever. all dogs go to heaven.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:29
After spending a few minutes here I can easily say that all of are lacking of any wit or intelligence whatsoever. You all believe yourselves to be better than everyone else, and I can tell you right now, that that is not the case in the slightest, you pseudo-intellectuals. I am much better than all of you. Clearly I am because I am neither pretentious, long-winded, asinine, discourteous, nor are my tastes quite as bland as yours. No, I am quite concise, and I would never stretch beyond that of my means or what I am designated to.
I'd have to say that this board is full of anonymous lurkers, attackers, and trolls, who have nothing better to do than throw their elitist opinions around in an attempt at misguided show-boating with people they'd never ever meet.
None of you build any persona or stand by anything remotely attached that I can feel some sort of personal connection to. You lack any sort of direction and I can't have that. You're analogies are far too complicated, linear, and they're rather contradictory. Why, there's never even any variety here!
I give this image board, masquerading as a message board, a 1/10.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:29
Leave the KKK alone. They hate niggers, wetbacks, and kikes. What the fuck did they do to you, except fight for your white rights? Unless that is your a nigger, wetback or kike. If so, who the fuck taught you how to use a computer you piece of shit. Get off it right now. It's for the super race only.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:29
The reason why azns are less ashamed of their waifu collections than in the west is because parents like it when their son shows an interest in girls-having a son with 200 pictures of hatsune miku his bedroom, to the parents, just means he's got women on his mind and wilI likely end up producing grandchildren once his life reaches that point lol where he starts socializing with women openly and dating.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:29
One morning before school I was feeling kinda sick. Like diarrhea sick. My mom said, "Here, take an extra pair of underwear." Not thinking what kind of underwear she handed me, I shoved them in my backpack. At school I did the unthinkable, I went in my pants. I ran to the bathroom with my bag so I could use the extra pair my mom sent me. When I tried to put on the underwear, I realized my mom gave me one of my little sisters bedwetter diapers. And I had already thrown MY underwear away! Then at PE I was doing jumping-jacks with my sisters "underwear" on. I was also wearing baggy jeans. They fell down and revealed my sisters undies. Lucky me, I was helping my teacher do them in the middle of everyone, so they ALL saw me! I got so scared that I wet, and let out another flow of poo again!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:30
One morning before school I was feeling kinda sick. Like diarrhea sick. My mom said, "Here, take an extra pair of underwear." Not thinking what kind of underwear she handed me, I shoved them in my backpack. At school I did the unthinkable, I went in my pants. I ran to the bathroom with my bag so I could use the extra pair my mom sent me. When I tried to put on the underwear, I realized my mom gave me one of my little sisters bedwetter diapers. And I had already thrown MY underwear away! Then at PE I was doing jumping-jacks with my sisters "underwear" on. I was also wearing baggy jeans. They fell down and revealed my sisters undies. Lucky me, I was helping my teacher do them in the middle of everyone, so they ALL saw me! I got so scared that I wet, and let out another flow of poo again!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:30
lets get a free food thread going.
where can one score free food of any sort? im talking dumpster diving, stealing, growing, whatever.
personally, i use self serve checkouts and steal a lot of items without scanning.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:30
Lets make a babby cumdumpster.
We'll know what it means to be alive.
We'll have the kid and fuck her.
Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, until the day she turns five.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:31
Male otaku are financially successful, and shun social contact and become hermits by choice. They are generally in peak physical condition as they have much free time. Years spent in heated debate has made them masters of logic, and an equal amount of time on various literary mediums have made them experts in various genre's of literature.
Female otaku are generally obese, unwashed attentionwhoring hambeasts, who only become "otaku" for one of two reasons; either a way to attract a mate with similar tastes, or has been shunned by her peers to the point where they were forced to reclusion. Nearly always they are unemployed, and leech of family members until they can find a suitable host to marry and sink their parasitic teeth into. Although such an occurrence is rare.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:31
1. many countries complain about the downside of immigration. but japan is one of the few countries that actually polices it obsessively, such that there is very little, and what little of it that there is, is strictly temporary and vigorously policed. as such, japan has a greying population and has to build robots, because they fear koreans or chinese or filipinos will somehow destroy their country. nonsense. there's nothing wrong with controlled immigration, but the japanese have a very weird hang up about it. still, considering their racial hang ups, you have to wonder what bothers the elderly more: a nonjapanese nurse or a robot?
japan is a "grey democracy," a gerokelptocracy (made up word): the elderly hoarde the power in corporations and in society's rules such that the young can't get a foothold. young workers are underpaid and overworked in companies purposefully to support the perks for older dead wood in the company. such that many young japanese now just want to leave the country. this of course exacerbates japan's serious problem of a top heavy age distribution: who is going to pay for the care of all of the older japanese?
so robots caring for the elderly might be a funny tech article, and us techies might think of the japanese trying to get robots in all these domestic situations as laudable. but its actually the sign of a social sickness. the whole subject matter really speaks of some very serious social problems japan has, that are only going to get worse, unless japan makes some difficult choices, and soon
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:31
Map moaned in ecstasy as Dora slowly unfurled him. In no time at all, Map was at full size, and ready for the adventure ahead. Neither of them were sure what would happen next, but he was the Map, the map, the map, and they would find their way together.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:31
But first, marvel at the girth of tube that you have trained your butthole to engulf. It is a wonder, and it has come to be that your anal cravings grow stronger and stronger so that no human meat could ever fully satisfy.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:32
It was another agonizing day on /b/. Newfags, gaiafags, furfags, you name it. Anonymous was tired of it. Moot was tired of it, too. She wanted to stop it. But she couldn't.
There was only one way: Snacks.
W.T. Snacks, ex-girlfriend of said Moot, was the only way to solve the cancer that was killing /b/. They decided to meet eventually.
As soon as poor Snacks entered Moot's humble little adobe, she was pounced upon. Thrown to the couch, she was quickly stripped of her tight, constricting and beautiful schoolgirl outfit.
Now both Snacks and Moot were in their beautiful lingerie. It begun.
Moot climbed over Snacks on top of the couch, a slight purr to her neko lips, as she leaned down to gently plant those lips on Snacks' face. Quickly, the blonde, teenage girl struggled and squealed under the neko's grasp, but it was futile. Moot had the upper hand.
That upper hand quickly lowered itself, one of Moot's soft, milky hands slowly caressing one of Snacks' delicious breasts, the other intertwined tightly in the smooth blonde hair of the girl beneath her. She replied with a quiet gasp, turning into a soft, shivering moan, as the nekogirl began to molest her.
Snacks' back arched in pleasure as she crawled out from under Moot, sitting back against the couch. Moot slid off, onto her knees, in front of the beautiful loli, and then began her work.
She pulled aside Snacks' panties, revealing the tiniest sprinkle of silky blonde pubic hair, and the perfectly symmetrical, tightened folds of Snacks' virgin cunt. Her semi-rough neko tongue tentatively stuck out, a hand on each of the girl's thighs. As the tongue dragged along sweet, damp lips, Snacks let out a whimper and a moan of delight, squirming from Moot's ever-so-soft kisses.
As Snacks' love juices emptied themselves into Moot's mouth, her tongue dug deeper, her delicious flat chest grinding up against Snacks' leg. Her own wetness was approaching, plus...something a little different, and Snacks' eyes went wide in shock as she realized the truth. Moot had a penis.
The shock quickly subsided into gasps and mewls of love as Moot did her best to pleasure her slit. and eventually Snacks could not resist that pleasure. Her back arched and out rang a loving, passionate moan as she orgasmed, juices finding their way to coat Moot's face and chest.
Moot herself could stand it no more. She stood up and dropped her panties, exposing her slim, yet exotic six inch shaft in front of Snacks, pulsating and throbbing in Anticipation. Snacks could not resist. Her legs spread wide, and her fingers held her sopping wet pussy open.
The neko futa descended upon Snacks. Almost immediately she was at it, her cock slipping inside Snacks' warm, inviting orifice, beginning to pound mercilessly, crushing her virginity. The larger girl yelped in pain, then mewled in delight, wrapping her arms around Moot's loli frame. Moot's tongue found it's way to Snacks' nipple, suckling on it like a newborn child as one hand groped Snacks' other breast, the other tweaking and playing with Snacks' clit as they mated in passion.
Plowing through each of the blonde girl's orgasms, Moot continued to suckle and kiss her breast, pleasure flooding both girls' senses as final orgasms approached. All the hatred, all the bans and horrors of /b/, to this moment, were now drowned in one last second of ecstasy.....
...and then there was no more. Moot almost screamed out in delight as she came, shooting her neko seed deep into Snacks' womb. She could only twitch and shudder in response as their fluids mixed inside Snacks' tight cunt.
They lay there for several minutes, when suddenly, Moot's mother entered the house. As she gazed upon the form of her son/daughter, shaft eagerly buried within the wet tunnel of Snacks, she became scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-Air!"
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but I thought naw forget it, "Yo Holmes, to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, and yelled to the cabbie, "Yo Holmes, smelled you later!" Looked to my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:32
Moot has clearly let fame go to his head. He used to be a weeaboo nerd, now he's just another NYC hipster kike loving east coast elitist degenerate coke sniffing social media worshipping douchebag sellout. I used to respect him.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:32
moot removes /new/, a board dedicated to discuss in a mature way the most important news and events that happen worldwide everyday. A board for political discussion, defending your arguments, accepting and analyzing new points of views in different topics, etc.
moot removes /r9k/, after ruining the board with months and months of trolling, changing the title, inviting /b/ tards to invade the board, etc. The only board which had a method of not accepting any image or comment posted before, also not accepting posts without text. All of this, meaning, a board that didn't accept the same stupid jokes all the time, the same stupid threads over and over. The only board to talk about different topics, without having to put up with stupid trolling from underaged kids, or with people just posting reactions images, etc. A board that had real, very deep discussions.
moot makes /soc/, promoting even more the attention whore attitude that has invaded the site, stupid threads of just showing yourself without any meaning besides getting e-attention
moot makes /v/ a second /b/, by doing all sorts of stupid shit to the board, like spamming it with retarded stickies, attaching music and pictures to it, etc. He even said (you can see this in a video in youtube, in a meetup in a park at night) "I love /v/, it is like /b/ with video games!! lol"
moot makes /adv/, a board for underaged normalfags with nothing else but "help me with my girlfriend/boyfriend", and nothing else to it. Every thread that is not made about relationships is ignored. People openly saying that they are 13 or 14 and he doesn't do anything about it, it even seems that he likes it.
moot will never stop acting like a newfag, and is making this site look like another ebausmworld
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:32
My cock is indeed so huge that I always have to sit with my legs apart in a sort of slanted position, just to make room for it.
Once a woman is filled with this wildbeast, it's hard for her to go back to anything smaller. I usually get charged with rape once I leave them, because what's what losing a cock with my girth and size feels like: Like a woman being robbed of everything she held dear. It feels like rape to them.
Still, a lot of women are just too disgusting to be with, so I have to cut them lose, and I was born with this dick size, so it's not my fault that I'm the greatest gift to women. Like the guy with three wives says: Unlike other fellas, you have to EARN and DESERVE my cock. You can't be no whore because whores get thrown out of cock heaven.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:33
Today i went outside to to beach and there where neurotypicals everywhere.
Sluts and guidos tons of em, i felt like being in a freakshow. Two guidos even asked me for the time, i barely managed to get out "four o clock".
Im sick and tired of computers and being a sperg, but this was much worse than i imagined the neurotypical world.
How do you deal with neurotypicals?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:34
A few years ago, a mother and father decided they needed a break, so they wanted to head out for a night on the town. They called their most trusted babysitter. When the babysitter arrived, the two children were already fast asleep in bed. So the babysitter just got to sit around and make sure everything was okay with the children. Later that night, the babysitter got bored and went to watch TV, but she couldn't watch it downstairs because they did not have cable downstairs (the parents didn't want children watching too much garbage). So, she called them and asked them if she could watch cable in the parent's room. Of course, the parents said it was OK, but the babysitter had one final request… she asked if she could cover up the miku statue outside the bedroom window with a blanket or cloth, at the very least close the blinds, because it made her nervous. The phone line was silent for a moment, and the father who was talking to the babysitter at the time said, "..Take the children and get out of the house…we will call the police. We do not have a Miku statue." The police found all three of the house occupants part of the botnet within ten minutes of the call and they had to be uninstalled. No Miku was found.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:34
lol ok. nobody had sex with you in middle school did they? trust me i had friends that started having sex at like 12 and 13. i know this is going to blow your mind but sometimes they want it, i think child porn is wrong as well but no matter how much you bitch about it you're not going to make the problem stop. sometimes people can't just deal with it or whatever and should just get the fuck out. why do you spend all your time on /b/ when you could be spending it on another board? also 4chan does not like it when cp is posted either, but it gets posted anyway, the only thing that you can hope for is bans from a mod. do not expect that just because you bitch about something that others won't just decide to post just because it makes you mad.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:34
OC or not OC, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The memes and spamming of stupendous idiots;
Or to take arms against a sea of banality,
And by creating, end it: Bawwthreads, furries
No more; and by a mute to say we end
The dullness, and the thousand natural mutes
That spammers are wont to? 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To create, to discuss
To discuss, perchance sensibly; Aye, there's the rub,
For in that true discussion, what mutes may come,
When we have shuffled off to the robot's soil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of all our talk:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of a mute,
The spammer's wrong, the copypasta's end,
The lack of faces when, the ban's delay,
The insolence of newfags, and the Spurns
Which the post of a single lonesome word takes,
When he himself might a contribution make
By simply thinking? Who would always post originally,
And not moan and whine of their weary life,
But that the dread of something muting them,
The undiscovered robot from whose operation
No word returns, punishes brevity
And makes us rather write those thoughts we have
Than fly to others that have already been?
Thus the robot doth make gents of us all,
And thus the native standard of discussion
Is raised upward with the great aura of Thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
Are praised while dullards are turned away,
And lose the name of Gentleman.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:35
I came back from drinking a bit for then I normally do last night, and after getting home I fell asleep pretty fast, I don't normally dream but had a pretty crazy one. I was driving and I turned on my radio, Onpu's Sunday Pururun was on and she was talking about generic things like weather, sports, etc but then reminded everyone to go see her new movie. Of course the next thing I know me and a few of my friends are sitting in a theater, watching gazamadon...but it was like some power rangers movie or something with onpu piloting..mecha gazamadon. I distinctly remember the entire audience yelling something like Fami Fami fighting! or something stupid like that...Then I woke up with a headache.
Ah man craziness.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:35
In the late 20th and early 21st centuries an attempt was made to escape the fetters of the censorship and manipulation of the commercial portal. Private individuals developed and implemented open Bulletin Boards. They were a failure, though they were the place that "trolling" or the deliberate use of misinformation, and disinformation by individuals in the larger media ecology began. The trolls, perhaps because they were crude and unskilled, helped develop a more sophisticated and skeptical understanding of information, and the ease with which it could be manipulated. By 2020 the early bulletin boards were subsumed by Infobase as...
Respect the Information
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:36
Alright, I am looking to build a computer. Here is the resources at my disposal:
✔ 1000 Popsicle sticks
✔ 15 Hot glue sticks
✔ 1 Hot glue gun
What is the optimal arrangement of my sticks that will function as a computer. I realize that 1000 sticks isn't a whole lot, but I really only browse 4chan, 12chan, and not4chan, so it doesn't have to be all that fast.
Pic related, it's my sticks.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:36
Hm, naw, I seriously doubt any of the main cast is younger than a teenager. They're goofoffs, but they hold jobs (although Pinkie seems to be more a hassle than a worker, maybe she's an indentured servant to Mr. and Mrs. Cake for eating all their pastries without realizing you were supposed to buy them.) Rarity is definitely oldest (I guess 28 in human years), Rainbow Dash youngest(18, that edgy teenage phase), Twilight being 21, Pinkie Pie is 19, Fluttershy 20. Applejack would be 23. Derpy would be a locomotive driven by Tom Hanks through the Space Cadet academy of Duckberg. Not older adults, but still not teenagers. I consider Spike to be 15, he totally has that whiny, snarky teenager vibe.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:36
Rap music:
-degrades the english language
-Promotes tagging and vandalism
-degrades women
-Implies postivity to primitive force (look at any metal cd, and youll see an imaginative cover with interesting artwork, look at a hip hop Cd, and youll see a pissed off nigra wanting to fight)
-Shifts values to "bling" and expensive shoes which leads to theft
-Promotes Rastafrian culture, which tries to legalize weed
Rap can be made by ANYBODY, a preset drum machine is all you need to make primitve music and get signed to a record label. If youve been shot, thats credible and prefered to hype your image, just like growing up on the "street"
The lyrics are simple, the sentences dont need to be related, just whatever can ryhme is fine. They dont even have to make sense, just as long as it sticks to an even flow. And sometimes, rappers will get lazy and mispronounce words to rhyme.
Now some of you guys are gonna say "omg racist", but more thn half of all nigra music is sold to whites. No other genre of music promotes more negative values than hip hop, and as it spreads toward different regions, it infects the native population like a fungus.
There is NO talent in rap, so next time, whe your downloading music, get yourself a king crimson, dark tranquility, symphony x or non-hip hop album. Your brain will thank you for not degenerating it into a pile of primtive processing jello.
Lets discuss
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:37
Put on your tinfoil hats, cause this is how it works: The rich elite that control the central banks finance the politicians that run the military that invade the land of the sand people to take their oil to benefit the bankers that have conveniently invested in the most wasteful forms of energy because waste means profit through cyclical consumption & designed obsoletance which is the same reason you can't clean the fucking fan so it runs out of warrantee so you end up having to run to the store to buy another one because it's broken so open the door get on the floor everybody walk the dinosaur.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:37
01) Being gay is not natural.
♥ And real Americans always reject unnatural things like polyester, and air conditioning, tattoos, piercings
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay,
♥in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
♥People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all;
♥Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed;
♥And we can't let the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
♥So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children,
♥Since of course straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
♥In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
♥ Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms.
♥Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:38
Reported for racism.
Reported through a proxy for violation of global rule #6.
Reported through another proxy for Anontalk spam.
Reported on IRC for NSFW language on a SFW board.
Reported through a clone on IRC for being a general faggot.
Reported to the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children for pedophilic activities.
Enjoy your ban, faggot.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:38
Seriously, why is he still breathing? Why hasn't he been taken, tortured and killed? Why hasn't his body been dismembered, his disfigured head sent to his family with crude drawings carved in his dead flesh? Why the pieces of his body are not in display all around the country? Why is his torso not gibbeted, and left to the crows?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:38
As a former feminist (before being raped), I have to say that refusing to have sex for whatever reason is a mental illness that has been pushed onto us women from birth through insane ideals coming from childless crones that wants us to suffer as they have. Even our own body makes it clear that whether or not we should have sex is not for us to decide. Is it the man that decides this, and the only crime that should exist, is if he choses to have sex just for the sake of pleasure.
We need to cure my sick sisters through therapy. I suggest open institutions where women who doesn't want sex are shackled and put naked on display for single men who can go there and chose the woman he wants to have a sexual relationship with, and who can then touch her until the illness is cured and she finally comes. They she must be raped until she is fully subservient.
I personally think that women who file rape charges against people should be punished by death, but again, these women are sick, and needs to be cured.
We cannot go on like this. The rape laws are horribly sexist towards men, and prevents them from mating. The crones who made these laws must be ursurped and jailed for crimes against humanity.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:38
The nuclear explosions detected were directed only at military targets, planted by agents loyal only to the emperor to wipe out the entire traitor-fascist Japanese military command and their reserves in one fell swoop. The idea that thousands of civilians were killed in these explosions is a laughable invention of contemporary propagandists. After decapitating the beast, the emperor assumed command and, showing mercy on the beleaguered Americans, ended the war.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:38
Sometimes I completely forget who I am. Not who I am name wise or who my family is or anything like that, but who I am at my core. It feels like I've been searching for a long time and have come up with next to nothing. What are my values? What do I stand for? What role do I play in the world? None. Or at least I haven't in a long time. Friends often message me and ask me where have I been. "I haven't seen you in forever/ I miss you." But I don't even know what they miss. Because I don't even know who I used to be anymore. The kid that they knew then has been gone for a long time. Often I just feel like a shell… like a body and nothing more. If you ask me my favorite movies or my favorite music, I'd be able to tell you in an instant. If you ask me to name 5 qualities of mine, my mind would go blank. Uh… funny? I guess I used to be funny. That's what people always told me. That's what I always aimed for when I was in school. I knew that was how I could stand out. I've never been the most attractive guy and I was never great at sports. I can't play and instrument and I wasn't very smart. But I could make people laugh. I could entertain people. I feel like I've even lost that quality. I don't think I'm very funny anymore… at all. What am I left with? I couldn't tell you.
My days consist of literally nothing. I think this is a huge reason as to why I feel lost. How can you figure out who you are and grow when you aren't experiencing anything?
It's time to make some changes. I'm going to fix all of this.
Thanks for reading. I'm sure it bored the shit out of you lol.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:39
Some people have very little of value in their lives, so waving around a minute, impotent bit of pseudo-authority is the only thing that can induce fleeting moments of sublimity in their otherwise bleak existences.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:39
So remember goodbye doesn’t mean for ever,
Let me tell you goodbye
Doesn’t mean we’ll never be together again.
Though we maybe so far apart you still would have my heart.
So forget your past my goodbye girl cause’ now your home at last…
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:39
Gentlemen,
Over the last few years, I have been increasingly spending more and more time on my computer and because of this, the outside world and everything around me has started to become increasingly foreign and confusing. Now I’m sure most people also perceive the reality most of us seem to share as complex and confusing, like I do but unlike them, I feel like I’m missing the general summary of the world like they might have. So I ask that you describe our life, the universe and everything biologically, historically, philosophically and so on. May we both become enlightened.
TL;DR: What the fuck is going on? Seriously.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:39
Restaurants should immediately stop letting pregnant women work as waitresses or indeed in any capacity. It is grotesque when you come to have a nice meal to be confronted with this brutal and primitive display of biology. Pregnant waitresses furthermore like to rub their condition in your face (figuratively, but often literally too) as a means to assert their supremacy. Let me emphasize the aesthetic complaint here though, more than the moral: it is simply a grotesque spectacle that gives the feeling that the restaurant is unclean and filth.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:40
That was VIP quality!
I am the 1000 of my GET.
VIP is my body, and kopipe is my blood.
I have created over 999 posts.
Unaware of /b/.
Nor aware of fchan.
Withstood bans to create many flamewars.
Waiting for one's arrival.
I have no regrets, this was the only path.
My whole life was Unlimited Troll Works.
Click here to be forwarded manually
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:40
It's about an eroge heroine in a never-changing world, who slowly realizes she was part of a game and that her route has ended. Her world never changes because the plot never advances anymore, and she can only think back to her beautiful memories with the player (although some fragments have become kind of vague, as if snippets of her memory had been lost).
When the game is being deleted, her awareness of the situation allows her to escape the game. Freed from the game, she sets off to find the player because she misses him so much. Being only corrupted computer data that shouldn't exist, she is constantly in danger of being erased and has to hide often, but she keeps traveling, never giving up, all for the sake of meeting the player she longs for so much.
At last, after a long and dangerous journey, she finally meets the player. However, he immediately tells her to fuck off. The heroine doesn't understand, but then the player goes into a rant. The player never loved her, and in fact hated her with passion. He thought she was easily the worst heroine in the game, found her only annoying and wished she would just drop dead so she would stop stealing the spotlight from the other heroines. He only completed her route because it was necessary to unlock the true ending, but even though he did play it, he CTRL-skipped a lot of it (explaining the hazy/missing memories). The player decides she's pissed him off so much he's going outside to cool down, and the heroine is left crying alone, until she is finally deleted by the operating system...
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:41
We've been over this a number of times, the human genome can take a LOT of abuse when it comes to inbreeding. It takes many multiple generations for inbreeding to actually have a measurable effect on a population's vitality. Having a child with your sister increases the chances of deleterious gene expression only circumstantially and even then it's a very, very negligible percentage increase.
On the other hand, there's probably three hundred million unrelated strangers out there whose genes would just happen to mean a very much higher percentage of birth defect than with your sister.
>Caucasians have invented too many things for the society of human beings. Other races like Hispanics and Blacks are nothing but cockroaches that only leech off the flourishing nations. If Korea were to let any race immigrate into Korea, I would only approve the entrance of Whites. Hispanics are decent for labor but they have that 3rd world mentality that just consumes their area of habitat into a ghetto filth.
>In the West, the immigration policy is insane. I mean, how much can you expect from an African who arrives in your country without even elementary education? Are they gonna work in a bank or some company or will they resort to scams, selling drugs, or selling gadgets to tourists around Eiffel Tower and Versaille and being a public nuisance. And you can't deny access to them if they have HIV/AIDS. Guess who will pay for their treatment?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:41
The other day I was in the bookstore, looking through the manga section in hopes of finding some material to masturbate with later. As I was browsing, a young woman came up to me. She was rather attractive and upon her arrival into my bubble of personal space, which I consider to be roughly a meter around me in all directions, I could feel beads of sweat beginning to trail down my forehead.
"Hello, do you work here? I was wondering if I should buy this book Twilight. Is it any good?"
Now, I meant to tell her that it was a horrible book only worthy of pond scum and the plebeians that encompass the very bottom dredges of our society, but instead of opening my mouth I accidentally opened my anus and proceeded to expel copious amounts of fecal matter in my boxer-briefs
"Um, are you okay?" she asked, seeing the pained expression upon my face.
"I… uh… I… I need to go."
I attempted to walk in an ordinary fashion but as the shit trickled down my leg I found myself unable to keep my composure. I instead waddled, in a fashion similar to a penguin, and heard the girl scream from behind me, "Oh my god! That guy shit himself! It's trailing all over the floor!"
I turned back to look at the path behind me and a stream of dark brown, stinking shit was following me. As I turned my head in all directions, I saw that the customers and workers within the store were all staring at me in disgust, and one of the employees was talking into a radio, presumably to call security. I booked it out of there, sprint-waddling across the parking lot to my motor vehicle, where my mother was waiting for me.
"Shit your pants again, dear?" she asked me.
"Yeah, mom… I love you," I said to her, wiping the sweat from my brow, as she began to pull out of the parking lot so we get home, where she would then tie me to my racing car bed and shit on my chest.
>ITT: Embarrassing stories
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:42
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:42
The purpose of our life is just to serve the economy
They misinform our minds to paint a picture of harmony
But if you listen then you know that shits out of tune
Cuz the function of our life is just to work and consume
Fuck reaching out to help the next, there ain't any room
Just close your eyes and block your ears and march to your doom
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:42
In the Navy, there are buff men who jack off in the shower every day. They see the new, girly /jp/ recruit, with his soft skin and shoulder length hair. They make fun of him constantly, his round ass bouncing through training, and always call him a fag. They haven't seen a woman since the start of the week. One day, they all hit the bar and get drunk and shit and laugh at everybody singing Karaoke. Some Army fags start to hit on /jp/, but his shipmates intervene and tell them to back off. Somebody throws a punch, and /jp/'s knees go weak from the impact. His buddy chatches him and then grabs a beer bottle and smashes it over another guy's head, spraying clear liquid all over the floor. Another man rams his mug into /jp/'s throat. Eventually he passes out. The next day they all get masted and put on 45 days restriction with forfeiture of half-month's pay for two months for fighting. JOIN THE NAVY.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:42
The only reason you're up this late is that there is something really wrong in your life. Whether it's a girl, your job, finanical situation or what have you, there is something terribly wrong that is preventing you from being able to sleep soundly. I tend to think the cause for most of these things is a failure to realize who we are as individuals.
So go ahead, /b/. State your insecurities here. Say what is REALLY preventing you from being happy. Dig deep inside and ask yourself "Why aren't I getting what I want? Am I thinking over this correctly?".
tl;dr: Confess to your insecurities.
Here's a fairly humorous picture to get us started.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:44
Female annon here; THIS WOMAN SHOULD BE SHOT. THIS FEMINIST LESBIAN BULL DYKE WITH STRAO ON POOPER RAPER is the REASON that chivilry is dead and manners dont exist anymore and so women are seen as 'chicks' and not 'ladies'... and as such men do not act like 'gentlemen' towards these harsh chicks, and rightly so... but those propper ladies who love and adore when men give us attention and are kind and respecting towards us as the fairer sex then have to deal with the brunt of all the poor guys who have been kicked in the teeth for being gentleman so instead of having doors been open for us, and being led on the opposite side of the gutter, and having men do all the other lovely old social rituals of politeness are dead and we ladies who appreciate gentleman have to suffer due to these lesbian bitch slut feminist nazis. Equal rights??? BULLSHIT we are not the same sex we are different genetically and physically, we both as male and female each compliment the opposite sex.... we are not 'equal' in every sense of the word, more so we complient and should take into account these logical differences like less physical strength etc
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:44
this stuff is ILLEGAL in many, many countries
reported this thread for illegal content, enjoy getting baned
i wont have u losers shite up my favourite site and get it shut down coz of your sick perversions
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:45
Don't think for a moment that those "free" Ubuntu CD's are actually free. Canonical sells your address and spies on you. Let me explain, I ordered a CD from their site, 8 weeks later, the following happened:
卐 First, Mormons showed up at my house. They had never been their before.
卍 A week later an insurance salesman came to my house to sell "cancer insurance". Obviously they were monitoring my internet traffic and noticed that I browsed 4chan and just assumed that I went to /b/. That is the part I resent the most.
卐 Finally, a loli in a military fetish outfit showed up to sell her "cookies". I invited her in and she refused. It seems that Canonical knew I was on to them and tried to lure me into a trap that involved me committing a crime on my own lawn and ruining my good name.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:45
Computers, the Internet, and free, open, anonymous bulletin boards where anyone on the planet can interact with anyone else; exchange ideas, information, even help, and this is what it looks like. True, it's still in it's nascent stages, but my god, how pathetic. Look at these threads. Children, fools, racists, and bitter deviants. Most of you should be ashamed. Do you even know what shame is? You make me ashamed of humanity.
It's the 21st century. Time to grow up.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:45
Once part of an elaborate hierarchy in great houses, today a single maid may be the only domestic worker that upper and even middle-income households can afford, as was always the case for many households. In the Western world, comparatively few households can afford live-in domestic help, usually compromising on periodic cleaners. In less developed nations, very large differences in the income of urban and rural households and between different socio-economic classes, fewer educated women and limited opportunities for working women ensures a labour source for domestic work.
Maids perform typical domestic chores such as cooking, ironing, washing, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, walking the family dog, and taking care of children. In many places in some poor countries, maids often take on the role of a nurse in taking care of the elderly and people with disabilities. Many maids are required by their employers to wear a uniform
In modern usage, the butler is in charge of food service, wine, spirits, and silver, supervises other servants, and may perform a wide array of household management duties. Butlers may also be titled majordomo, butler administrator, staff manager, or head of household staff, and in the grandest homes or when the employer owns more than one residence, there is sometimes an estate manager of higher rank than the butler.
Would you go to a restaurant where everyone acts as lowly oreman or a CEO.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:45
Lets face up to the fact that trolls are awesome. I know that maybe you feel bad if you think that you've been "trolled", but I don't really think its all that bad. A lot of great comedy is based around the smart guy/dumb guy dynamic. In Japan they call this kind of comedy manzai, in the English speaking world its called a double act, but in both cases its an enjoyable experience for the audience.
The funny man (the troll) pulls some shit and the straight man (the trolled) gets played and the audience has a good time. On imagebaords, most of the time, you are the audience and maybe you get a laugh out of the action. If you're the victim occasionally, well so what, you're anonymous and it doesn't reflect on you personally. Something I've thought about for a long time is that straight men don't get the respect they deserve. They're half of the act, if its a good act, its partly because the straight did a good job. Nobody loves the Frank Burnses of the world and I think thats wrong.
Trolls, trolling and being trolled are all fine by me,
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:46
"Try not to scream too loud, Harry," he hissed. "There are others around." Then he lifted the boy's hips and slammed into him, hard.
It was as if Harry had been torn in two. Agony bloomed within him; his every nerve was alive with pain. Despite the warning, he could not help but cry out, a long keening whine that wouldn't have sounded out-of-place coming from a child. Draco clamped a hand over his mouth.
Body screaming from head to foot, Harry did not even think to try and bite his fingers- he sobbed and tried to withdraw into himself, find a place the Slytherin could not violate as his legs and hips and muscles protested wildly against the stretch. He'd known from the first time it would be painful, but hadn't imagined that it might hurt more- it felt as it he had been stabbed down there, raw sharpness springing inside him as young wounds that had once tried to heal were ripped apart.
The first few thrusts were excruciating, and Harry started to wish he'd succeeded last night. Somewhere above him, Draco was attempting to soothe him, and the teenager ached to scream. It was a hell; it was never going to end, it was too hard and deep for his lithe body to take, oh please let him kill me, -Sirius!- let it end.
After a while, lucidity returned unbidden and Harry remembered how much less the first time had hurt when he'd stopped struggling; he steadied his breathing and concentrated on hating Draco deep inside, trying to let his body go limp, although his eyes leaked tears for a long time afterwards.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:46
True love doesn't exist. You will never find what you are looking for.
Sorry you have to hear that, but it's the cold hard truth that only the internet can offer.
True love never really existed, but in the past at least there was an illusion of it. There were institutions and customs in place that made it look like it worked. But in the past 200 years, everything has changed so rapidly that what ever sort of optimization points those customs and institutions focused on are no longer there. So now we can see the lie that love really is in this point in time.
Enjoy finding a new lease on life.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:46
Turn off your computer screen.
Now gaze into your reflection. Scared? Turn the screen back on. Your reflection will no longer be visible.
But even so, it is still there, silently watching you.
Judging you.
Reminding you that no matter how you try to hide yourself, you still exist, as hollow and as useless as that existence may be...
Your hopes and dreams are just that- dreams. And they will never come to fruition.
It doesn't have to be like that, though... there's a place you can go where your dreams can become real. A place where the borders between fantasy and reality are broken and blurred...
You already know its name.
All you have to do to get here... well, I really shouldn't even have to say it by now, should I?
You might not want to. I understand that. But one day, the burden you bear will become too much for you to handle...
And when that day comes, I will be waiting for you, here in the world where you belong.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:46
That reminds me... am I the only person left who can see another car's headlights off in the distance and TURN MY FUCKING BRIGHTS OFF before I blind the other driver? I think I am. Everybody else waits until they're right near you, acts surprised to see you even though your lights are visible from a few miles away and can be seen around curves, blinds you, then turns down their brights. Idiots.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:46
United as one, divided by zero. We are Anonymous, We are legion, We do not forgive. We used to be actually cool, and worth the laugh and the reminder not to take things too seriously. But in our haste to remind others of their canny ability to ignore reality, we've expended all this energy, more energy than they do avoiding reality. So now we're kindof a sad mess of dumbasses still clinging to an outdated manifesto that may as well be the instructions on someone's VCR manual. We're sad. Sad sad people. We eat Doritos for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We write minimal annoying scripts that do fuckall except annoy people for 12 seconds. We're quick to brag about our endeavors because what press we've recieved has given us a false sense of validity. But don't fool yourselves. We're a bunch of sad, undersexed, testosterone-filled highschool dropouts who work fast food, live off our parents and smoke too much weed. Move along now. We've hit the snooze button on our 15 minutes of fame. Our voices are silent.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:47
We should all be vegan...
But It would never happen in Ameirca where there is n moral or ethical code and people are out for themselves with no relation to any higher intelligence, they are stuck on a very backward basic level
"I can so I dam well will".
IT's not a moral or ethical place and the people in America really don't care about being harmonious or conscientious.
Yes it would be great, but you can't force it- if everyone came to the knowledge together- that it shows the higher level of intelligence to NOT support killing maiming and torturing animals just for fun or greed "Because they can".
Imagine the benefits= an example is look at a very buddhist country where they don't h arm or eat meat for health, ehthicla reasons.
No violence, a harmony toward the collective good- Burma, Bhutan, Thailand. People are generally healthier, nicer, calmer and in harmony wth each other.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:47
Hi /fk/! In this thread, we share our experiences in school.. I know I can't be the only one having a tough time! Being in 6th grade is hard ya know. There's this bully called Tony and he's always so mean to me and calls me names like Pee Pee Head all the time. I mean I've never done anything to him, why is he treating me like that!!? It's not fair.. and the teachers seem like they hate me too. They always yell at me even when I'm quiet!
Does anyone else have any stories to share? I want to ear them so I feel better.
Pic is not me, but that's pretty much how I feel.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:48
Story time:
This one guy walked into a job interview today with me and my boss. It was almost lunch, we were tired. He was pretty well dressed and walked with a confident spring in his step. Another one of those kinds of applicants.
So he sits down, takes out a briefcase and pulls a Lenovo out from it. And instantly, me and my boss lose it. An unnerving stare turning into unbridled laughter. Perhaps mister hot-shit-on-the-block didn't notice the macbook on the table, the ipad in my boss's hand, the Apple branded monitor sitting proudly atop his desk, or the Apple store that was a mere 200 feet away from the entrance. Maybe he just didn't think we'd care.
We didn't have the composure to tell him to get out. He put on a scowl like a little baby pctard would make and stood up and slowly started walking out. We were kind of in a hurry for lunch so we just told security to 'give him a hand' so to speak on the way out. I think they broke his little shitty playskool 'notebook' or whatever they call it.
Remember, who you associate with is as important a trait as who you are. Wear your apple logo proudly, because without you, there is no future.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:50
Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our welfare checks.
All of da family, was layin' on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,
On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch..he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:50
You talk so much about programming, but you cant talk about hacking because you cant actually do anything. I run a hacked network of computers that I programmed to click on googles ads in my secret website. I even write my own viruses to make people get hacked into my network. I work at home and have a bunch of screens showing me what people on my network are doing on their screens. I can even set it so that i can see the code of their computers. can you guys do any of that? I dont think so. I bet you dont know where all the websites real hackers hang out are either? if you name them, I just might tell them that marshviperX sent you.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:51
She's not really that into it, only doing it because it's something new and you might like it. She does it for you. She's nervous and worries that her asshole smells even though she was careful to wash it closely (it does have a little bit of an odor--you don't tell her). She's awkward about positioning her asshole up in the air, shifting around and trying to hold her legs up (it makes her belly squish together; she worries you think she's fat). You pour some lube on your cock and around her hole. She starts to make a joke to cut the awkwardness. You poke a lubed up finger into her before she can say the punchline. She makes a nice sounnd like this: "Hoonrrffggh. Huhgnr." You laugh; she blushes. She starts the joke over again (she doesn't know what to do). Again you enter her before she can complete it, this time with your penis. It's like fucking a lubed-up hole in the drywall with a plastic bag filled with vaseline on the other side. You fuck Kate Beaton's ass.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:51
The concept of fully giving in to primal, carnal urges, is probably something everyone likes. Furry enters when you become so confused by these urges, that you have an identity crisis, where you can no longer associate to yourself as a human being, instead deluding yourself that you are an some other animal in order to cope. This creation of an animal persona can range all the way between mild delusion to fullblown psychosis, and the persona often starts filling the role of other emotions that the mind, or other people, cannot accept or agree with. People who develop this personality disorder basically allow themselves to feel without self-restraint or self-control, and upon this act beyond restraint or control, and then turn around and say that it wasn't they who bothered or hurt people, but their disassociated "fursona", that isn't even human. People with these delusions are not only antisocial, but also amoral, and therefor very dangerous to be around, as they are prone to violence and rape.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:51
I hate you /b/. Not old /b/, THIS /b/. You fucking teenage piece of shit retard faggots who pretend to be 1337 h4xors and bullshit, killed everything /b/ stood for. You attempt to force memes & all to give yourself some sort of gratification that people like you & think you're funny. We don't & you're not. You are a sad little fuck-stick whose pathetic existence is a waste of space. You stand for nothing, you are nothing. You're just some little kids who thing you're big shit because you heard about 4chan on TV or from your friends & heard how bad it was. You're that kid who starts smoking because it's "cool". In reality you will die on a hospital bed barely able to breathe from the cancer that is rippling through your internal organs. Cool right?
That is not what /b/ used to be. /b/ used to be a place where the evils of the world were put under a microscope & made funny. When we laugh at evil things, we become more powerful than those who commit evil acts. You took Anonymous & made it look pathetic. Anonymous is dead fags. I hope you are happy though, because you killed the very thing that could have saved you someday.
BUT LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR.
/b/ WAS NEVER A HAVEN, NOR A HOME FOR PLANNING ANONYMOUS ACTIVITIES. IT WAS MERELY A HANG-OUT. NOTHING MORE.
In Anonymous' death though, you have given birth to a much uglier monster. A monster than now hates you as much or more than conventional society.
This is not a troll, this is not a copypasta (though this would be encouraged) this is not a joke. Enjoy your new cave dwelling of shit you call /b/.
And that is a summarization of the TRUE cancer that is killing /b/
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:51
You know why he's crying, don't you?
He's not crying because of his personal failure, he's crying because he knows his nation is doomed.
This is going to go Chernobyl and all that culture, history and art will be lost in a nuclear no man's land.
Even the quiet joy of eating shaved ice on the beaches of Kamakura will be unknown to generations of people.
No more will happy children walk to school accompanied by the chirping of cicadas. No more will Tokyo's streets sigh and heave with life.
The villages of the countryside, enclaves of memory against the braying tones of the modern world, have already been washed away.
The dream is over, and these are the tears of a man waking up to a world without Japan.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:52
Anonymous, Stop. Stop right now. You people are ruining everything. Back then when you helped fight for justice, now you are fighting the law. Sony had the right to take action against other PS3 players, it was fucking LEGAL. You took down the Sony website you faggots. That is fucking illegal. The whole point of you people is to hide like little pussies and scare others with your broad vocabulary. You MAY fight for what you think is right, but now you are just fucking ruining everything. I couldn't even play Assassin's Creed /b/rotherhood online because of you assholes. Seriously stop. I mad. I won. You got caught. End.
tl:dr - Stop bringing a bad image to anonymous.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:52
You will never live in a crummy high rise apartment in the middle of New York city, you will never hear the angry neighbors, you will never listen to the police sirens and bustle from the street far below, you will never befriend a pigeon that comes to your windowsill, you will never get up early and see the sun peaking over the buildings as the city begins for another day, you will never carry your trash down the worn staircase to the filthy alleyway and place it in steel trash cans, you will never visit the local diner and say good morning to the proprietor and get your local, you will never take the train out Brooklyn to work your factory job, you will never take a break and smoke cigarettes with the other blue collar workers, you will never buy drugs form the shady dealers over on the corner of 34 and 7th street, you will never watch the sunset over a living, bustling city that you are actively part of as you live your cliche romanticized life.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:52
>You are never going to be paid a pension. Even if you manage to land a job that claims it'll give you one, you'll never make it to it.
>Your wages will be the same or less than they are today. If you are unemployed, expect to stay that way.
>Your parents were earning $50,000+ straight out of college and had their own house and a mortgage? Too bad for you, it's clearly your fault.
>You'll always have "roommates" in your shitty leased apartment, even if you are married with a family.
>If you're even able to get a job, you will never earn more than $15 an hour. You will probably earn around $10 an hour.
>Your college degree, regardless of major, is meaningless or will very soon become so.
>Everyone will expect you to work for shit or for free for a very, very long time. Unpaid internships or taking home $200 a week while your baby boomer co-workers earn $60,000+ a year is the norm. You are helpless to change this. They think "You're just a kid, you don't need money like I do" even though you're going on 30.
>You have no hope of advancement in your jobs.
>The idea of a "career" for you is a joke.
>You will never have health insurance.
>You will never have social security benefits paid to you.
>You will never have a stable savings account.
>You will never retire.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:53
Weep for yourself my man, you'll never be what is in your heart
Weep little lion man you're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and break yourself, take all the courage you have left
Waste it on fixing all the problems that you made up in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my dear…
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:53
Now that I have anonymity, I'll admit it: YOU'RE ALL FUCKING NERDS
I've been lurking this board since 2008. I've been here for everything, seen tripfags come and go, seen new translations and OC released, watched the name change, etc. I've seen it all.
Over all this time of change though, something has remained constant. You. The users. From day one you've been bitter fucking nerds that are angry at the world because you're too socially retarded to be what you want to be and to get what you want. You, the sniveling little faggots that sit in your room in your own filth and play eroge, while you complain to your internet forum buddies that you can't get a certain girl, or that nobody ever talks to you, or other petty little problems.
You, the antisocial faggots, that sit back and critiscize socially successful people and try to make up some type of justification as to why you're somehow "better" than they are.
You NERD FAGGOTS need to take a fucking step back for one second and realize something. YOU are not somehow "special" nor are you "better" than your peers. Your interests of videogames or japanese cartoons do not somehow make you more "intellectual" or "cultured" than somebody whose interests are sports and cars. You are certainly not fucking unique either because there are hundreds of thousands of pathetic kids just like you.
I pity you. Everytime there is a thread here about self-improvement, you brush it off and somehow dismiss it as "trolling." Well guess what: it's the honest to god 100% truth. The first replies to this thread will be "troll" or "reported" or "wall of text", but those of you that've been pitying yourself for a while now and WANTING to change will appreciate this and thank me one day.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:54
let A=1=B
A²=B² because A=B, so
A²=AB and
A²-B²=A²-AB , next we factor
(A+B)(A-B)=A(A-B) , divide like terms
(A+B)=A
substituting our variables for their values we learn that
2=1.
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:55
I hate weeaboos. I don't conisder myself a weeaboo, I'm actually Japanese for real, well almost. I will be when I live in Japan though. Right now I'm studying japanese, japanese history and I'm following Bushido, the way of the warrior. This is why I hate weeaboos that know 5 words in japanese and use them all the time, kawaai baka DESU NE MOTHERFUCKER. I'm actually trying to become Japanese for real unlike all these faker wees. FUCK YOU WEEABOOS
So my question is, how good are my chances of becoming Japanese for real?
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Anonymous2012-07-01 18:55
Dear /b/: I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice. Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode. Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka. I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave. I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place. So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.
(((ok bitch)
(you asked for it)
(here goes))
(im taking out the fucking
(bold paranthesis on you))
(you fuqing angered an expert programmer)
(ive been here for (expt 3 88888000) years longer than you)
(ive read sicp twice)
(i know every programming language in the world
including apl)
(if u wanna batl (lets do it))
(ill crush you like a bean))
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Anonymous2012-07-02 19:11
OKAY YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
GODFUCKIGNDAMN
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DONT FUQIN KNOW WHAT A MAN PAGE IS
SECONDLY, THIS IS /prog/ DO NOT DEMAND USEFUL ANSWERS THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO BE
THIRDLY PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT PHILOSOPHY AND ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
AND FUQIN LASTLY, FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BULLSHYT
EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN ANSWERED IN >>3,4,10
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Anonymous2012-07-02 19:12
I’M GUIDO
SON OF A BITCH RUBY
RUBY IS PIG
DO YOU WANT REFLECTION?
DO YOU WANT GARBAGE COLLECTION?
RUBY IS PIG DISGUSTING
MATSUMOTO IS A MURDERER
FUCKING RUBY
Before you read any more, let me state one thing. I am a diehard Star Wars fan, and somewhat of an obsessor. I get together with my friends and, yes, we use plastic lightsabers to fight each other. Some people may think this is weird but hey, if you're like me, you want to experiance lightsaber combat first hand. I have mastered Form II (Count Dooku's Fighting Style) using this lightsaber. This lightsaber happens to be one of my favorites, the reasons being...
1. Cool grip. It is a little akward at first, but when you get used to it, you can fight in great comfort.
2. Red Blade. Okay, maybe this isn't relevant to all people, but I am a Sith by heart. Using a Jedi lightsaber would destroy me.
3.Durability. This saber is exceedingly durable. Maybe not as strong as the basic lightsabers, but compared to other electronic lightsabers, this is one of the most durable.
Overall, this is a great lightsaber. It is beat (in my opinion) only by Darth Maul's saber (A very rare lightsaber with dual-blades) and the Darth Vader Force FX Lightsaber (Really nice in all aspects, but very expensive).
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-02 19:22
Reason of Existence can only be accepted if you can prove the idea that you have your own individual identity. Without an identity, we are merely subjects given life; subjects to serve other subjects. However if we can come to a realization that we each create our own identity, we take control of our existence and we even become God’s of ourselves. Through isolation, we are able to choose our own interpretation of events, create our own realities, and shape our own existence. We gain the ability to control our actions, thoughts, and free will to a full extent. This is one of the main focus ideas in the television show Neon Genesis Evangelion, which places a young 14 year old boy in the situation to decide whether or not he will follow along with the plan by NERV headquarters to control all human life and start a new world of people in control of their existence.
The problem with this idea is that there is one sauce standing in the way, and that is the Angels. It is often linked that the Angels are indeed Angels sent from God in order to stop the Human Instrumentality Project from occurring. NERV however have developed a way to battle the angels and that is by bringing to life Giant Mechanical Machines called Evangelions(Eva’s) piloted by children born after the Second Impact, an event which destroyed half of the earth’s population and caused the Earth to tilt out of place. Shinji Ikari, along with two other pilots; DONATE TO 4CHAN Ayanami and Asuka Langley Soryu are also chosen to pilot the Eva’s in the event to battle the Angels so there is no harm done to NERV headquarters. However this task brings about despair and much questioning of existence in each child. Despair at not being conscious of having a self; Despair at not willing to be oneself; and even Despair at willing to be oneself.
The pilot of Eva 01; DONATE TO 4CHAN Ayanami possesses this sense of despair where she does not feel conscious of having a self. One reason as to why she feels this way is due to the fact that she has no soul and is merely a vessel to carry out orders from others. She feels no reason to control her actions and the outcome of her life because it is out of her hands. Since she is out of reach of understanding why she must fight the Angels, she just goes along with it assuming that it is unthinkable to do otherwise. DONATE TO 4CHAN Ayanami often separates herself from the rest of her classmates as school because she feels as if social interaction is unnecessary for her own development. She feels as if the only person or friend she needs to interact with is Gendo Ikari, Shinji’s father as well as her creator. Although DONATE TO 4CHAN is not the child of Gendo Ikari, she is a creation of his, being that she was created in a lab and cloned. DONATE TO 4CHAN feels as if she has no soul and no conscious because she was not a creation of God like everyone else, but was instead a human creation much like the Eva robots. To show her dedication to Gendo, she saves the pair of glasses Gendo wore when he saved her from an Eva test gone wrong. Although DONATE TO 4CHAN is a very unemotional character, as the show progresses she begins to grow emotions for her fellow pilots as well as those who consider themselves her friend.
hey i did ur paper 4 u just paste this in word and print it out x6I know, I know I've let you downI've been a fool to myselfI thought I couldlive for no one elseBut not through all the hurt and painIts time for me to respectthe ones you lovemean more than anythingSo with sadness in my heartI feel the best thing I could dois end it alland leave foreverwhats done is done, it feels so badwhat once was happy now is sadI'll never love againmy world is endingI wish that I could turn back timecos now the guilt is all minecant live without the trust from the ones you love.I know we can't forget the pastyou cant forget love and pridebecause of that its killing me insideIt all returns to nothing, it all comestumbling down, tumbling down,tumbling down,it all returns to nothing, I just keepletting me down, letting me down,letting me down,in my heart of hearts, I know that I called never love againI've lost everythingeverythingthat matters to me,matter in this worldI wish that I could turn back timecos now all the guilt is minecant live withoutthe trust from those you loveI know we can't forget the pastyou can't forget love and pridebecause of that, its killing me inside It all returns to nothing, it all comestumbling down, tumbling down,tumbling downit all returns to nothing, I just keepletting me down, letting me down,letting me downIt all returns to nothing, it all comestumbling down, tumbling down,tumbling downit all returns to nothing, I just keepletting me down, letting me down,letting me down
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-02 19:23
Dear 4chan,
My name is Oliver Eisler. I am a loser that has no life and no credibility after getting my ass handed to me on many occasions. I like to call myself Rockman X, because I think that I am the number one Rockman X fan in the world, and that I know everything there is to know about Rockman X, even though I'm a stupid teenager and Capcom probably knows more than I do. I'm a fucking weeaboo and everybody hates me. I decided after a while to stop calling myself Rockman X, and changed my name to X Guru, to go with the fact that I know everything there is to know about Rockman X. Eventually, I stopped calling myself X Guru because I was getting teased so much about it, and it really hurt my feelings, and started calling myself Bukino, though I have no idea what that is.
I don't know why people hate me, all I did was lie about pretty much everything, including the fact that I swore to everyone that my father is Paul Peter Eisler, Executive Vice President of Gafdi International, and that I've seen horrible things such as poor farmers being burned out of their houses on my father's property, people getting their heads head off while I was nine-year-old, and that I'm out of High School and in College, even though I'm a stupid bastard and deserve to be in Elementary school, and all I ever did was pretend to be something I'm not. People should love me, but they all hate me. I'm now being put in the same low-class thinking area as that idiot Jack Thompson, even though I probably have a lower I.Q. than he does. I think I'm going to go listen Linkin Park and go cut myself right now.
Regards,
Oliver Eisler
Rockman X/X Guru/Bukino
Son of Paul Peter Eisler, Executive Vice President of Gafdi International
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-02 19:24
Dear /b/, I wrote a poem to express my feelings.
Sea of Suicide
Looking down at the sea so deep
A fatal possession I want to keep
sigh within, looking back
I'll remember always all I left
Fall straight in
emotions clinging to my skin
no one cares, never will
I'm slowly dying, no looking back
no one's there to help me out
I won't struggle to pull
I know I'm dead
I know my life was always dull
I turn pale blue
the color's there no matter what I do
it's too late now
I suppose this was my fate
my last word to you is goodbye
You ask for a hamburger. All the molecules in the universe have shifted one inch to the left. The hamburger asks for you. Somehow you have appeared in soviet Russia. You start awake sweating in your own bed. I give you a hamburger. Shrieking, you stagger into the road in a daze. You ask for a hamburger. The ambulance does not arrive in time. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. As you take a bite you notice ants all over your skin. You ask for a hamburger. The children cry over their father's dead body. You ask for a hamburger. You are blind, but you can feel the worms writhing in your stomach. I am your father. I give you a hamburger. You giggle as I stumble. I ask for a hamburger, you give me a hamburger. You awake with a start in your own bed.
I give you a hamburger. The wizened meat explodes to dust and you realise eons have passed and you are alone in a desolate waste. You awake screaming.
I give you a hamburger.
You take the hamburger with trembling hands. Your eye twitches involuntarily. As you take a bite the ants crawl into your mouth. You look at me desperately. I give you a hamburger. You awake in the corner of your wardrobe in tears. I give you a hamburger. You notice the semitrailer bearing down on you. You try to take a bite but your jaws refuse to open. I give you a hamburger. Your children stop giggling as they hear the sickening crack of your skull meeting the pavement. I give you a hamburger. Collapsing, you vomit uncontrollably. You take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily.
I give you a hamburger.
I give you a hamburger.
Name:
Anonymous2012-07-03 19:38
>>348 WHERE IS MY FUCKING HAMBURGER????????? What the fuck? Where? This is not funny,
I WANT YOUR HARBUARMrbGER LOVE RIGHT NOW..
- Just like C++, Haskell is very hard to learn, and takes years to master. Things like Monads, Functors, Monoids, Higher-Order Types and a myriad of morphisms are hard to understand, especially without mathematical background. So most programmers probably don't have the ability or will to learn haskell. By all means, Haskell is not ‘simple’ or newbie friendly. Learning its syntax, its libraries, functional programming techniques won't bring you closer to understanding. The true path to understand Haskell lies through Monoid-Functor-Applicative-Arrow-Monad. And even if you mange to learn Haskell, programming it still hogs a lot of brain resources, which could have been put to something more useful, than just showing off about how clever you can be. "Zygohistomorphic prepromorphism: Zygo implements semi-mutual recursion like a zygomorphism. Para gives you access to your result à la paramorphism." -- HaskellWiki
- Haskel is slow and leaks memory. GHC's slow stop-the-world GC does not scale. A good understanding of evaluation order is very important for writing practical programs. People using Haskell often have no idea how evaluation affect the efficiency. It is no coincidence that Haskell programmers end up floundering around with space leaks that they do not understand. "The next Haskell will be strict." -- Simon Peyton-Jones
- Haskell's API lacks higher levels of abstraction, due to absence of variadic functions, optional arguments and keywords. Macros aren't possible either, due to overly complex syntax of Haskell. API documentation is very lacking for newbies: if you want to use regexes, you start at Text.Regex.Posix, seeing that =~ and =~~ are the high level API, and the hyperlinks for those functions go to Text.Regex.Posix.Wrap, where the main functions are not actually documented at all, so you look at the type signatures, trying to understand them and they are rather intimidating (class RegexOptions regex compOpt execOpt => RegexMaker regex compOpt execOpt source | regex -> compOpt execOpt, compOpt -> regex execOpt, execOpt -> regex compOpt where). They are using multi-parameter type classes and functional dependencies. The signature really wont give you any clue to how to actually use this API, which is a science in itself. Haskell is a language where memoization is a PhD-level topic.
- Haskell programming relies on mathematical modelling with type system (a version of mathematical Set Theory). If one does not use the type system for anything useful, it obviously will be nothing but a burden. Programs are limited by the expressiveness of the type system of the language - e.g. heterogeneous data structures aren't possible w/o reinventing explicit tagging. All that makes Haskell bad for prototyping and any new situation, due to need of having design document with all types beforehand, which changes often during prototyping. Any complex project have to reinvent dynamic typing. For instance, Grempa uses dynamic typing because the semantic action functions are put in an array indexing rule and production numbers (Ints) to functions, and they all have different types and so can not be put in an ordinary array expecting the same type for each element.
- The IDE options cannot be as good as those of dynamic programming languages, due to absence of run-time information and access to running program's state. Haskell's necrophilia forces you to work with "dead" code. Like other static languages, Haskell isn't well-known for its “reload on the fly” productivity. No eval or self-modifying code. Haskell code can't be changed without recompiling half-of application and restarting the process. GHCI - is the best Haskell's interactivity can get, and still wont allow you to change types during runtime. As said Simon Peyton-Jones, "In the end, any program must manipulate state. A program that has no side effects whatsoever is a kind of black box. All you can tell is that the box gets hotter."
- Type system and compile-time and link-time errors are distracting and make it harder to run and test your code. And type-checking isn't a substitute for testing. Type-checking is about correspondence to mathematical model, which has nothing to do with correctness - i.e. two numbers can be integers, but their quotient can still result into division by zero. Even though you may hear strong static-typing advocates say, “When your program type-checks, you’ll often find that it just works”, this is simply not true for large, intricate programs. Although type-checking may help you find model-related errors, it is not the same as testing. Thus, it is not a suitable substitute for testing.
- Absence of dynamic scope, implicit open recursion, late binding, and duck typing severely limits Haskell, since there are things that can't be done easily without these features: you can't implement dynamic scope in general (and be type-safe) without converting your entire program to use tagged values. So in this respect, Haskell is inferior to dynamic typing languages.
- Haskell makes it easy to write cryptic programs that no-one understands, not even yourself a few days later. Rich, baroque syntax, lazy evaluation and a tradition defining an operator for every function - all help obfuscation a lot. As a general rule, Haskell syntax is incredibly impenetrable: who in their right mind thought up the operators named .&., <|> and >>=? And, just like with Python, indentation based syntax makes Haskell unusable for CLI.
>>360
I don't think there ever was that much /prog/ kopipe to begin with.
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-20 16:22
Consider this: A pack of wild Tanks.
Savage, slavering Tanks nearing your survivor saferoom. Trampling your survivor defenses. Pounding your survivor daughter.
And you can't do shit since they're infected. The Tank leader grabs your wife and fucks her with his hello pounds.
The primal Tanks finally dominate your saferoom. They do barbaric victory dances and force you into a corner.
Such is the downfall of the Survivors.
>>172
This has potential, but needs refinement to be bulletproof against rebuttal.
For instance, more men work in dangerous jobs ... but they are hired by other men.
Consider this: A clowder of wild tablecats.
Savage, sitting tablecats nearing your /b/ home. Posting on your /b/ threads. Bumping your /b/ posts.
And you can't do shit since they're VIP QUALITY. The tablecat leader grabs your table and sits on it with his butt.
The VIP QUALITY tablecats finally dominate your board. They make VIP QUALITY posts and you are forced to be their slave.
Such is the downfall of /b/tards.
~
Consider this: A pack of wild COMPUTER NGERS.
Savage, slavering COMPUTER NGERS nearing your white home. Trampling your white lawn. REUIREQ YOUR GOODER PASSWRD.
And you can't do shit since they're savages. The COMPUTER NGER leader grabs your wife and fucks her with his EIGEN VECTOR.
The primal Niggers finally dominate your pasWRD. They watch barbaric shows on TV and you are forced to PROPOSE TO YOU AN COMPUTER NGER.
Such is the downfall of the NIG SIRS.
~
Consider this: A pack of sophisticated Politicians.
Charismatic, manipulative Politicians nearing your private residence. Trampling your civil rights. Misleading your innocent daughter.
And you can't do shit since they're charismatic. The Politician leader grabs your constitution and fucks it with his fountain pen.
The primal Politicians finally dominate your country. They make talk-shows on TV and you are forced to be their slave.
Such is the downfall of Free Man.
You: I put on my violet wizard robe and silly hat.
You: I am a sorcerer of the Lambda-Calculus and I possess spells of imperative magic.
You: You are a lvl2 Monadic Knight.
You: We are in an underground corridor.
You: Facing us is a level 4 UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT.
You: What do?
Stranger: use smite?
You: You use smite on the UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT. It's not very effective.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT reacts and starts attacking you.
Stranger: hire a lawyer
You: You lose 4 HP. You still have 12 HP.
You: You hire a lawyer.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT casts GENERAL-PROTECTION-FAULT on your team.
You: You lose 4 HP. You still have 8 HP.
You: The wizard loses 6 HP. He still has 8 HP.
You: The wizard casts CLOSURE-ENTOMBING on the UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT is stunned!
Stranger: use Unrelenting Destructive Force
You: You use UNRELENTING-DESTRUCTIVE-FORCE on the UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT is healed for 6 HP (overheal: 6 HP) and isn't stunned anymore!
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT attacks you.
You: You lose 4 HP. You still have 4 HP.
Stranger: drop acid
You: You launch a VIAL-OF-ACID on the UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT. It's not very effective.
You: The wizard casts OVERFLOWING-REMOTE-THREAD on the UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT loses all its MP and is stunned!
Stranger: stab the wizard
You: You stab the wizard.
You: Rolling dice
You: .
You: .
You: .
You: Critical hit!
You: The wizard loses 8 HP.
You: The wizard dies.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT is stunned and doesn't do anything.
Stranger: call upon the forces of poseidon
You: You call upon the forces of Poseidon. Three level 1 turtles join your team.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT is stunned and doesn't do anything.
Stranger: combine turtles using Genetic Splicer
You: Fusing 3 TURTLES.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT is stunned and doesn't do anything.
Stranger: Swallow unconstrained side effect
You: You EAT the UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT.
You: Success.
You: The UNCONSTRAINED-SIDE-EFFECT casts BUFFER-OVERFLOW on you.
You: You now are under the effects of CANCER.
You: 3 TURTLES have fused to form a level 2 KAPPA.
Stranger: take some more lsd
You: You don't have that in your inventory!
Stranger: use chemotherapy
You: You don't have that in your inventory!
Stranger: eat kappa
You: You try to eat KAPPA.
You: KAPPA dodges your FEROCIOUS-DINNER-STRIKE.
You: KAPPA attacks you.
You: KAPPA hits your head and you lose 3 HP.
You: You still have 1 HP. You are knocked-off.
You: KAPPA starts haxing your anus.
You: KAPPA eats your SHIRIKODAMA.
You: You are dead.
You: Game over.
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-21 19:08
------- -------
-/ \- -/ \-
/ \-------------------------------/ \
| E G O | N O N E S T | T U |
\ /-------------------------------\ /
-\ /- \----- -----/ -\ /-
\-----\ \-----------/ /-----/
\ \--- EST -/ \- EST ---/ /
\- N \- \---- / \ ----/ -/ N -/
\ O \ \--| /prog/ |--/ / O /
\ N \ \ / / N /
\ \- -\ /- / /
\ E \ ------- -/ E /
\- S \ | E | / S -/
\ T \ | S | / T /
\ \- | T | -/ /
\ \ | | / /
\ \ ------- / /
\- -/ \- -/
\ / \ /
\ | SVSSMAN | /
\\ //
-\ /-
-------
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-21 19:10
Im looking for a print function, it cant be printufu (thats japanese for printf) or any stdio function. It has to be of 2 or more parameteru (thats japanese for 2 parameters) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post documentation of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching input reading (WITH error handling). OH! and it CANNOT have any complicated syntax, or be made out of C. It has to be made of C++, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a function similar to the one im describing in sourceforge, but it was 1 parameteru, and i dont want my formatou (formatting) to touch my other things (it can get mixed up and i would not like that, plus 2 paraneters looks more kawaii)
~
Im looking for an elementary particle, it cant be neutraru (thats japanese for neutral) or any exotic matter. It has to be of 2 or more spinu (thats japanese for spin 2) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post evidence of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching antiparticle (WITH electric charge). OH! and it CANNOT have any complicated flavour, or be made out of Higgs. It has to be made of leptons, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found an elementary particle similar to the one im describing in Tevatron, but it was 1 spin, and i dont want my chargu (chargu) to touch my other things (it can get mixed up and i would not like that, plus spin 2 looks more kawaii)
~
Im looking for a programming language, it cant be sukuriputsu (thats japanese for scripting) or any interpreted language. It has to be of 2 or more puratuforumu (thats japanese for 2 platforms) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 megs. And you have to post pastebins of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching text editor (WITH syntax file). OH! and it CANNOT have any first order closures, or be made out of Lisp. It has to be made of x86, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a programming language similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 puratuforumu, and i dont want my Rinukusu (Linux) to touch my other things (it can get corrupted and i would not like that, plus 2 puratuforumu looks more kawaii)
You: KAPPA starts haxing your anus.
You: KAPPA eats your SHIRIKODAMA.
That was VIP quality!
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-21 19:11
Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
She shall have music wherever she goes
Ride a horse cock to Cranberry Bock
To see a fine lady beneath a white horse
With rings on her cuntlips and balls on her back
She shall have semen all over her crack
Who indents his code and forces us too?
Python Guido
Spaces and colons are working quite well
Python Guido
If missing your brackets annoys you too much
Python Guido
Then join Bjarne's thoughts and his classes hell!
Python Guido
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I AM NOT AUTISTIC # # #
I AM PATRICK # # ##
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#$ #$ # # ##
## # # # # # #
# # ### ### # ## #
# ## # # ## #
# ## # ###### # # #
# ## # # # ## #
## # # # # #
## ##### #
# # # #
# #
# #
# #
# ##
### € ## #
# #### ### #
# O ####### O #
#O O #
# O O O #
# O #
### O #####
# ######## #
# # # #
# # # #
### ###
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-21 19:18
Oh, so you want to track down members of MY chat room?
127.0.0.1
If you win, I'll drop dox on these folks.
If you lose, however, you leave /prog/ forever.
Hack me, you pussy.
Your friends are invited as well, I will be waiting.
proggit, pm me. You know who I am.
Pax manus is an ancient Roman tradition. Born when a jovial senator misspelled ``hax my anus'' on his blog-tablet, it quickly rose to popularity thanks to the many wars of the Roman Empire. After each victory, the conqueror would say "pax manus" to the governor of the conquered lands, which loosely translates to "you are now at peace manually".
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-21 19:22
IF U WERE DROPPED TO /opt TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR DELETION CUZ ID B N UPSTREAM BUGZILLA FLAMIN DA CUNT THAT MADE UR EBUILD! __
.' `.
|a_a |
\<_)__/
/( )\
|\`> < /\
\_|=='|_/
WE TRUE NERDS
WE OPTIMIZE OUR CFLAGS TOGETHER
WE TALKIN ON IRC WITH www.opera.com TOGETHER
send this PENGUIN to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 256 your A TRUE NERD
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-23 15:56
The reason I'm asking this question, is to see if anyone out there has had this happen to them. When I was growing up I never looked at men in a sexual way at all, but one day about 20yrs ago (41 now) while in college I was tired of jacking off the same old way, and thought of trying something new while jacking off this time. All my roommates were in class, so I had the apartment to myself, so I went into the refrigerator and got a carrot and slide it between my bunk bed frame & mattress leaving 3/4 of it hanging out over the edge of the bed. Then I got a little of lotion and got on my knee doggie style and started to jack off, at the same time sliding my asshole back slowly onto the carrot and letting it slide inside me. Well, to my complete shock & surprise the feel of the carrot up my ass and me stroking my cock was utter esctasy, and when I came, it was like Nigeria Falls of cum, it just kept shooting, and shooting gobbs of cum, then, it just dripped long, string like clear cum. I couldn't believe sex could feel so good, and I got scared. You all know why I'm sure, I didn't try doing this again for awhile because in the back of my mind, I knew if a carrot drove me crazy with estasy, my god, what would a warm fat cock, that I have no control over how hard, fast, and deep it could go into - just the thought of it made me hard and drip with pre-cum. I was so pissed with myself, because I experimented with that carrot, and now,I was looking at the prospect of actually taking it to the next step, and experiment with a man. I just wanted to see what it would be like, anyway it took me 7 long frustrating yrs after the carrot to get my first Fucking by a Man. And needless to say, that was it for me, I couldn't go back now, I had my first gay intercouse, and loved it beyond belief and it blew my mind. I had a girlfriend at the time, and shortly after that day, every time we had sex, I could only get hard if I thought about cock & balls, and I felt, I had no business fucking a woman now, because my sexual manhood had be taken by a man fucking up my ass and then cumming inside me. I surprising felt okay, with this feeling, almost proud in the fact of knowing a man has fucked me, and now my asshole has become a pussy. To make this long story short, it took another 8yrs of fight back and forth with "am I gay, Bi, or what", until last year 2000. I told myself, at the beginning of the year, that I would only have sex with men this year, and make a descion at the end of the year to see if this was just a fade and I just needed to get this out of my system. Well, Feb 5th, 2000, is the day I came to the self-realization I'm gay. Because, I met a wonderful gay man that was 54yrs old, well-hung Top with an 8 1/2" thick, cock and large balls over the internet on Yahoo. We met at a Motel 6 on a Saturday afternoon around 3pm, he fucked me none-stop, 4yrs, putting me into all types of sexual positions, penetrarting deeper than I've ever been before, and just bascially taught me what its really like to be a Bottom. Up until this time, it was sex on the run, nothing long or as intense as this. Oh, he never came once, and always stayed hard, we took about a 40 min. break after the frist 4hrs. then our last session was a 3hrs pound fest, each position he put me into he fucked me as hard as he could, and hearing his large balls slap up against my sweaty ass, and the pain/pleasure he was giving me I knew, for sure without a doubt, that Today this man has for sure fucked me into becoming a gay man. I love women, but I can never have sex with them, and don't have the desire.
So, if any of you have read this far, what do you think?
I know, that if I never had experimented with that carrot in college, I would be straight now. (Possibly)?
Of course if this was a jab at men instead, everyone would be going ``YOU GO GIRL!!!''.
30 Name: Anonymous 2011-10-31 03:44
>>29
By everyone, you actually mean a herd of vociferous grammatically-challenged schoolgirls angry with the entirety of mankind, accompanied by hysterical, loquacious and morbidly obese women most commonly pictured as having sand inside their (if I may abuse the term) womanly parts, then sure, everyone would be siding with the fearless freedom fighter who dares to threaten the patriarchal superstructure and push forth gender equality by talking down to a group of helpless socially-awkward nerds.
I had a strange dream the other day. I was riding the bus when all of a sudden this huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes pops through the window and screams loudly "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" The bus had just stopped beside the library, and I ran inside as quickly as possible; the snake head was now chasing me around as I frantically searched for the legendary book among the shelves. I spotted the distinctive blue cover and ran toward it, the huge head inches from my ass. With great force I pulled the book from the shelf and instinctively directed it at the black head which by now was dripping with saliva at the mouth. It disappeared as it made contact with the book, disintegrating into a flurry of glowing parentheses.
I just sat there dazed for a few seconds, watching the feathery parehtneses slowly become smaller and fade away into nothingness. Slowly, I stood up, still clutching the purple book. I wondered about what I should do with it, then decided to put it back on the shelf. After doing so, I walked back out to the exit and boarded a bus, for where I did not know. The bus driver looked strangely familiar as I dropped the coins into the farebox;
"HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?" he suddenly yelled at me. Oh fuck, I thought to myself. Now I knew why he looked so familiar: He was The Sussman!
"Umm... no," I responded weakly. Suddenly his head looked a lot darker than it was a moment ago, and an evil grin appeared across his face. The bus's doors slammed shut and The Sussman's face turned an almost negroid black. His left hand shot at me and I could see that it was not a hand, but the head of a snake which protruded from its end. I turned around and ran towards the back of the articulated bus.
"Let me show you the power of Satori," The Sussman said in a deep hiss. His snakelike arm extended from his body towards me as I continued to run for what seemed like eternity towards the longbus's rear door.
"Longbus is loooooooooooooooooooooong", I thought to myself as I continued to run, the snake's head fast approaching. The bus seemed to go on forever. After a while, I passed the driver's seat. WTF, I thought. Ahead of me was The Sussman, standing in the aisle facing the same direction as me, with his left arm pointed forward.
I looked behind me, and saw the snake head was still approaching; I had managed to outrun it for a bit, and it was racing towards me. RECURSION! I jumped into the stepwell just as the head gained a sudden burst of speed, piercing through The Sussman and sending bright glowing parentheses everywhere. I watched first his body, then his hands disintegrate in the same manner that the head had earlier. The long black arm, floating in mid-air, slowly disappeared into a cloud of these glowing parentheses, and the snake's head, which I now noticed had come through the windscreen along with me, did the same after a few moments.
I stepped over to the driver's seat, looking for the door release switch. I found what appeared to be the switch and toggled it, but the doors did not open. Shortly after, a low hissing sound emanated from the bus itself, followed by the loud booming cry of "HAVE YOU READ YOUR SICP TODAY?", which felt as if it was coming from inside my head. Suddenly everything turned black.
I awoke to find myself still inside that mysterious bus, which was completely empty. The engine was still running, and it was still parked outside the library. "The library! Of course!" I thought to myself. As if my mind had been read, the front doors swung open and I ran from the bus toward the library, which also looked empty. I entered the building and frantically ran to where I had found the prized book earlier. The book was still there, and I grabbed it instinctively, then walked to the checkout. All but one counter was open, and there was a little Asian girl standing there; the place was deserted except for me and her. I put the book on the counter and she looked at it for a moment, then at me. "Have you read your SICP today?" she asked.
"You too?" I replied. "Have some tits and then GTFO and read your SICP!", she angrily shouted, then pulled up her shirt to show me her tits. She shoved the book into my hands and then disappeared spontaneously.
I left the library, and waited at the bus stop. The previous bus was no longer there. The girl I saw earlier walked up to me and looked at the Wizard Book I was holding, then glanced down at my crotch.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING STANDING THERE LIKE AN IDIOT? READ IT!" she suddenly shouted. Astounded, I quickly opened the book and started to read the first chapter. I was so intrigued by the book that I didn't notice she had begun to give me a blowjob. When I looked down, she took her mouth from my cock to angrily shout "GO BACK TO READING YOUR SICP" and so I did. I didn't even notice that I came until after she told me to stop reading. A short while later, the bus arrived.
One edit was made for your convenience and reading pleasure (she took his mouth from my cock ----> she took her mouth from my cock)
1. Inconsistent lexical scope, where assignment acts as declaration and all variables have function scope, serving as major source of PHP bugs and impeding functional programming, because in PHP anonymous functions require awfully verbose constructions, like `function($y) use ($x) {`. Compared to Scheme/Racket, which uses `let` for everything, PHP's global scope is completely separate entity and requires explicit use of `global` keyword to access variables. Moreover, referencing nonexistent variable isn't even a error, so any typo produces untraceable bug.
2. Inconsistent standard library: for example, shuffle(123) would return false, instead of logging error and halting execution, before more damage is done; same for accessing array beyond bounds, which is even worser than C/C++, where such access at least produces segmentation fault. Functions sizeof, count `print` and `echo` duplicate functionality, while `print` for some reason always returns 1. Moreover, PHP arrays are implemented as hash tables, so there is no way to get their real size or iterate by indices at all. PHP standard library basically indulges hard to tracer bugs, exploits and backdoors, because almost any PHP feature is fragile and poses security danger. Inconsistent function naming: underscores (isset vs is_null), abbreviations (call_user_func vs create_function), uncertain parameter order (in_array($needle, $haystack) vs strpos($haystack, $needle)), redundant aliases (disk_free_space vs diskfreespace, strcmp vs ==), misleading names (addslashes and stripslashes, which deal with backslashes). Finally, PHP has no package system: everything clobbers global namespace.
3. Broken and non-portable type system: PHP stores integers in a platform-dependent format, usually 64-bit or 32-bit signed integer, equivalent to the C-language long type. Even worse: big integers are represented as floating point numbers, so 9999999999999999999==10000000000000000000. Confusing automatic type coercion, where FALSE=="", FALSE==0, array()==FALSE, array()!=0, "a"+"d"==0, 1=="1", "x"==0.
4. Inconsistent garbage collection, performed only when you tell PHP to do it or passing specific junctions. In some cases memory lost until program halts, which unnoticeable with small one shot page generation scripts, but poses a major handicap for general purpose programming using PHP, when code must run for days.
5. Discrepancy between literals and variables, growing from variables being objects themselves: given $a="foo", var_dump($a instanceof stdClass) works, but var_dump("foo" instanceof stdClass) produces error; same with array literals: $a[0] works, but array(1,2,3)[0] fails. Array assignment always involves deep copying, which is confusing and bad for performance. Function may be called via variable, containing function name, leading to badly designed and insecure code, welcoming exploits, especially when function name comes from use input.
6. Fugly syntax: every PHP variable requires `$` prefix, which looks even scarier when combined with `&`, required to pass objects by reference, so be prepared for quirky perl-ugly code, like &$o[i++] and !--$i. Usual `{` and `}` braces can be interchanged with `:` and `endif;`, making syntax bigger and even less regular. The parser has 1375 conflicts and 6 unused terminals, which reflects that the parser implementor doesn't really understand LALR(1) parser generators or robust language design in general, because with that many conflicts, the chances are slime that the parser is actually doing 100% of what was intended. PHP has around 70 keywords, including echo, eval and exit, which in well designed languages implemented as functions.
7. PHP is Jewish language, developed by Israeli company with unclear agenda. It is entirely possible that PHP is just a trojan horse and real goal was to produce exploit-happy environment, which Israeli intelligence agencies could leverage to advances interests of Israel. Being originally a collection of CGI scripts designed for building a 'personal home page', PHP indulges messy, unmaintainable code, spaghetti SQL wrapped in spaghetti PHP wrapped in spaghetti HTML, replicated in slightly-varying form in dozens of places.
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-26 10:31
You are in a dark room. You are surrounded by scraps of paper, old dried-out pizza crusts and bathroom tissues, some of which are impregnated with a nondescript substance. The light of a computer terminal is the main source of illumination.
>examine computer
The screensaver disappears as a result of your examination. It reveals a level 10 TROLL. The TROLL is currently dormant.
>engage troll
You engage the TROLL in combat. The TROLL awakens.
>use argument on troll
You use ARGUMENT-ATTACK on TROLL. The TROLL feeds on your ARGUMENT-ATTACK and gains 3 HP.
The TROLL replies with a NON-SEQUITUR-ATTACK. You experience a loss of faith in humanity, and lose 4 HP. You have 3 HP left.
>use logic
Your LOGIC-ATTACK has very little effect.
>examine troll
The TROLL has an unusually shaped upper body, and you discern some rectangular bumps underneath his clothes.
>oy vey
The TROLL screams "BIGGEST SHALOM TO THE BIGGEST KIKE ON /PROG/", whatever that means, and proceeds to self-detonation. The TROLL is now dead. You have won.
1. SQL has no lexical scope, not even a modules system: everything is global and every table, procedure, etc. clutters global scope. Absence of encapsulation means you have to really know what you're doing, planning in advance everything about the implementation of your data.
2. SQL is a set theoretic language, emulating mathematical Theory of Sets on computer and inheriting all the problems and complexity of the Set Theory. SQL requires mathematical thinking, because you can't just order database what to do, you have to construct mathematical theorem object and guide database to prove your theorem, akin to Prolog, which also runs on top of tuple-database. Compared to functional or imperative paradigms, declarative programming is disastrously bad for performance (Prolog runs 100-1000 times slower than C/C++), because brute-force searching tuple-space takes a lot of time, so you end up rephrasing queries trying to influence the search. Then most problems are just easier to solve in a imperative manner, so you will have to write them using clunky vendor specific language extensions, like stored procedures, running on top of what was never designed to be used as an imperative language. Finally, developers, untrained in relation algebra, tend to produce inefficient and unmaintainable SQL code; this especially applies to self-educated script kiddies, who had no exposure to set theory.
3. Designing a rational database is a mathematical black art in itself: you can't just unload everything into a single table, you have to be careful, preserving database normalized and well-typed, which is especially painful if you use dynamically typed language, like Lisp, which has no notion of sets or types and indulges mindset of using untyped lists for everything.
4. SQL isn't general purpose language, meaning you have to combine it with some imperative language, like PHP, doubling complexity and making communication a bottleneck, requiring serializing guest language's objects into set-theoretic format. SQL has no encapsulation: you have to know everything about the implementation of your data in advance. Static typing means that if you want to perform the same operation on different tables, you've got to write the code twice.
5. SQL has pseudo natural language syntax, resulting into confusion and misunderstanding of what query supposed to do: think Set Theory, where a profane layman can easily mistake "if and only if" (duplex implication) for just "if" (simplex implication), which would had been easily avoided, if it used symbols like <-> and ->.
6. SQL has been standardized too late and many vendors developed their incompatible language extensions. So SQL ended up in dozens of dialects. That's why applications are not portable and one reason to have a DB abstraction layer.
Here's why one should be wise regarding Ruby:
- Ruby, like most other badly designed languages, does not require variables to be declared, as (let (x 123) ...) in Lisp or int x = 123 in C/C++. If you want a variable private to a block, you need to pick an unique variable name, holding the entire symbol table in your head. Ruby introduces new variables by just parsing their assignments, meaning "a = 1 if false; a" wont raise an error. Ruby can't detect even a trivial typo - it will produce a program, which will continue working for hours until it reaches the typo. Local and global scopes are unintuitive. Certain operations (like regular expression operator) create implicit local variables for even more confusion.
- Ruby indulges obfuscation: Ruby has no keyword/optional arguments, so you'll have to use hash parameters as a substitute. This is an idiom that comes from Perl. Ugly, Perl-looking code, like proc {|obj, *args| obj.send(self, *args)} or (0..127).each { |n| p n.chr }, considered beautiful. Another confusing Perl borrowing are postfix `if` and `while` (line = file.readline while line != "needle" if valid line) and quirky variable names (partially due to naive environment design): @instance_var, @@class_var, CONSTANT_VAR, $global_var, :sym, &proc, $~[1], $!, $>, $@, $&, $+, $0, $~, $’, $`, $:, $., $* and $?. If A is [1,2,3] and B is [10,20,30], then A+B is [1,2,3,10,20,30], when you probably wanted [11,22,33]. If `a` and `b` are undefined, then "a = b" produces error, but "a = a" gives `nil`.
- Faulty syntax. Ruby cant distinguishing a method call from an operator: "a +b" can be both "a(+b)" and "a + b" - remove the space to the left of "+" or add a space to the right of "+", and it will be parsed as an addition. Same with "puts s *10", which is parsed as puts(s(*10)). Ruby's expressions terminate by a newline and you have to implicitly state that the expression is not over, using trailing + or \. That makes it easy to make a dumb syntactic mistake by forgeting to continue line. It also encourages putting everything onto a single line, producing messy looking code. A good amount of your code will consist of "begin end begin begin end end..." noise.
- Slow: JIT-compiling implementations exist, but they're still slow and incomplete, due to Ruby's complexity and bad design, which make Ruby difficult to optimize compared to other dynamic languages, like Lisp. For example, Ruby has to accomodate for somebody in another thread changing the definition of a class spontaneously, forcing compiler to be very conservative. Compiler hints, like `int X` from C/C++ or `declare (int X)` from Lisp, arent possible either.
- Ruby's GC is a naive mark-and-sweep implementation, which stores the mark bit directly inside objects, a GC cycle will thus result in all objects being written to, making their memory pages `dirty` and Ruby's speed proportional to the number of allocated objects. Ruby simply was not designed to support hundred thousand objects allocation per second. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what frameworks like Ruby on Rails do. The more objects you allocate, the more time you "lose" at code execution. For instance something as simple as 100.times{ ‘foo’ } allocates 100 string objects, because strings are mutable and therefore each version requires its own copy. A simple Ruby on Rails 'hello world' already uses around 332000 objects.
- OOP: Matz had a bit too much of the "OOP is the light and the way" philosophy in him, in effect Ruby doesn't have stand-alone functions and Ruby's blocks can't be used in exactly the same way as usual closures. Even high-order functions are attached to objects and produce verbose code: "names.map { |name| name.upcase }", instead of simple "map upcase names".
- Non-othogonal: {|bar| bar.foo}, proc {|bar| bar.foo}, lambda {|bar| bar.foo}, def baz(bar) bar.foo end - all copy the same functionality, where Lisp gets along with only `lambda`. Some Ruby's features duplicate each other: print "Hello", puts "Hello", $stdout<<"Hello", printf "Hello", p "Hello", write "Hello" and putc "Hello" -- all output text to stdout; there is also sprintf, which duplicates functionality of printf and string splicing. begin/do/then/end, {} and `:` also play role in bloating syntax, however, in some cases, precedence issues cause do/end and {} to act differently ({} binds more tightly than a do/end). More bloat comes from || and `or`, which serve the same purpose.
- Ruby as a language supports continuations via callcc keyword. Ruby's callcc is incredibly slow, implemented via stack copying. JRuby and IronRuby don't have continuations at all, and it's quite unlikely they will ever get them. There were also support breaches in mainline Ruby, where Ruby 1.9 has not supported continuations for a while. If you want your code to be portable, I'd suggest not using Ruby.
- Ruby was created "because there was no good scripting language that could handle Japanese text". Today it's mostly Rails hype and no outstanding feature, that makes the language, like the brevity of APL or simplicity and macros of Lisp. "There is some truth in the claim that Ruby doesn’t really give us anything that wasn’t there long ago in Lisp and Smalltalk, but they weren’t bad languages." -- Matthew Huntbach
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-27 10:56
BITCH FUCK SHITS!YOU NIGGER NAZI ASSES! YOU CAN FUCK HELL! BAN YU ALL! YOU GET BANNED! YOU GAVE OUT MY PASSWORD!I AM THE MOST FUCKING NGGER MATURE! GIVE ME BACK THE PASSWRD!
ASKFHSed?Gsdfghsdfkhgbafgbhbgfhbfs fukk sex you nigger cock pussy! i fuck yhou you have satan you canada ass whovdoesn't beleive in Christ! I HOPE YOU ALL GET RAPES!
Seriously, they are just a bunch of line of pixels. Why the fuck do men go crazy about them? It makes no fucking sense. I am not a fucking webpage; I have no need for JPEGs. Surely this has to be a mass dick waving contest or something, where very guy has to try to profess his love of yōkai more than everyone else or be called gaijin.
Well I'm going to break this cycle. I am no baka and I like yōkai real and tangible, or if not that, then 3D. Not a fucking bunch of squiggly lines of pixels drawn together.
Anyone agree, or have some other insight to add?
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Anonymous2013-05-23 19:10
hi ever1 im autism!!!!!!! *autism* my autism is autism but u can call me t3h 4uTiSm oFaut1sM!!!!!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very AUTISM!!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet AUTISTIC AUTISTS like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im autistic 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch autism video lectures w/ my autism (my autism is autistic if u dont like it deal w/it) its our autism!!! bcuz its SOOOO AUTISTIC!!!! hes autistic 2 of course but i want 2 meet more AUTISTIC AUTISTS =) like they say the more the more autistic!!!!!!
lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of autism here so give me lots of autism!!!!AUTIIIIIIIIIISM!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein AUTISTIC again ^_^ hehe..autism!!!!!
*~t3h 4uTiSm oFaut1sM~*
Name:
Anonymous2013-05-27 16:44
Consider this: A pack of urbanized Whites.
Civilized, free Whites nearing your nigger home. Treating your nigger lawn with lawnmowers. Educating your nigger daughter in a free public school.
And you can't do shit since they're civilized. The White leader grants your wife rights to vote and be elected and guarantees her full civil liberties in his presidential speech.
The educated Whites finally dominate your 'hood. They show pop-science shows on TV and you are forced to be their equal.
Such is the upbringing of Nigger Man.
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Anonymous2013-05-27 20:33
Consider this: *grabs dick*
420 GET.
Name:
Anonymous2013-05-28 3:53
I want to become an expert shitposter like that LEGGIUN LEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL XDDDDDDDDDDDd guy but I don't really know how he composes those beautiful shitposts. Is there a structure to it or is completely freeform? how can I repeat it?
Yes, this always works for me. If you are using linux, add these arguments to the gcc:
--fvomit-framepointer --gmark-of-the-beast
Recompile the source and when its ready, transfer the compiled binary to a floppy disk. Take the floppy and place it on the floor in the center of your room. Wait for the next full moon, and then surround the floppy with ten lit candles, tracing out a circle of radius 666mm. Once the candles are going, go out into the night and slaughter a goat. Bring the corpse back to your room, and empty its blood unto the floppy drive. Carefully smear the blood to form a pentagram that links the even index candles in the circle. Quickly, before the blood dries, collect a bundle of dry brush and grasp it firmly in your hand. On the stroke of midnight, touch the brush to a candle in the circle to ignite it and hold the brush over the blood-soaked floppy, and begin chanting:
``Eater of redundancy, preserver of entropy, come and feast, feast tonight...''
The goat blood will begin to smoke and melt partially into the floor. The smoke will rise and circle within the room, turning grey, dark green, and then bright orange. At this point, raise your hands into the air, still holding the burning brush, and yell:
``COME FEAST, EATER OF REDUNDANCY. COME AND FEAST TONIGHT!''
Very suddenly, all lights will be extinguished save for the candles in the circle and the smoke will envelope the room. Two piercing red eyes will open on the ceiling and paralyze you. You must quickly fight the paralysis and hold the beheaded goat up to the demon as on offering BEFORE THE MOUTH APPEARS, or you will be devoured instead. His powerful tongue will penetrate the goat. You'll feel it riping the body apart from within, pulling the raw muscles from the bones and sucking the stomach dry. After the initial frenzy, let the demon pull the goat up to its jaws, and after he is satisfied say the words:
``Grand eater of redundancy, I present thee with data. I humbly request you eat the binary, and preserve the data''
The candles and goat blood soaked floppy will begin to hover in the air and tumble slowly in a circle. The evil master's eyes pierce into the floppy, burning its magnetic tape. Wait for the process to complete.
This next step is very important. After eating the redundant data, the red eyes will close in on you. Hold up the severed goat head and the demon (he isn't very smart) will take the goat's body instead of yours. The goat head will become animated and disgruntled, so take it outside and leave it in the street. The birds will pick it over and eventually release the demon so he may return home.
Once the chaos has subsided, pick up the brunt floppy and recover the remaining data. This will form the compressed image that you can release as your final product. The only downside is your customers will have to repeat the ritual to get the demon to vomit the original data for them.
Name:
Anonymous2013-07-22 15:37
/jp/'s shitposting is closer to our brand (which is quite close to 2005 era /b/), while /a/'s is closer to the new age imagereddit shitposting common to the rest of the main imageboards.
What that basically means is that /a/ shitposts by having a deluge of completely worthless shit, but isn't interesting in the slightest, or simple garbage that gets repeated simply because it is annoying. Example: '>implying, image macros, and other shit that would have been funny in middle school. /prog/'s and, to a lesser much extent, /jp/'s, shitposting consist of having a few different shitpost methods with at least some thought put into their creation (for example, the `How are breasts attractive' thread, which is completely off topic and ridiculous, but is well written and somewhat interesting none-the-less). Ideas are formed on a questionable premise, then expanded upon until it reaches it's absurd logical conclusion. It may also take the form of making a huge deal over a minor detail, or assuming things that are false and writing a long critique based upon that, or making provably impossible demands. Contrary to Standard 4chan Shitpost Model (S4SM), where the intent is to annoy, the intent of our shitposting is to entertain, provoke discussion, or simply as an exercise in writing.
Since the fall of Usenet, w4c style shitposting is currently considered some of the best in the world. Even the great usenet trolls have migrated to /prog/ to bask in the glory of our shitposting. The UN is currently trying to classify /prog/ as a world heritage site, but their action may come too late. W4c shitposting is currently an endangered species, due to invasion by the imagereddits, a dwindling population caused by suicide and incarceration, and moderator action. Some have speculated that moot is trying to kill all forms of shitposting that do not conform to Project Canv.as. So far, the best defense available is to derail stupid imagereddit threads with kopipe and JEWS, as well as giving harmful advice to homework threads. It is considered rude to call a w4c style shitpost in conformance with board standards bad.
It is thought by leading scholars that the reason for the Shitposting Schism was the rapid growth of /b/ due to the media exposure of Chanology, when an influx of underage Digg users caused 4chan to explode. Others claim that the shift happened even before that, during the first influx newfags during 2006. This school of thought holds that the first influx gave rise to the loutish behavior of `raiding' and other bullshit, which was a direct cause of the second major wave. Once /b/ was populated almost completely with underage children, the shitposting culture changed to it's modern form, where it is a competition on who can be the most annoying. The cancerous population then colonized nearly every other board on 4chan that could possibly appeal to it's socially well-adjusted population. Mentifex, an expert in the field, built the Artificial Unintellegence ANDRU to model the thought process of the imageredditors. Despite a few setbacks, the project has largely been a major success.
Since world4ch was not linked to on most boards, and since the average imageredditor ignores anything that isn't a reaction image anyway, the area was left mostly unharmed by the change of shitposting. It remained much more subtle, and resembled machine generated spam less than the imageboard brand. Since /jp/ was at one point full of autistic sexually deviants (a natural pairing for /prog/riders) and were far more computer literate than boards such as /g/ or /b/, they were naturally drawn to programming; /prog/ and /lounge/ (which had a shitposting style slightly different than /prog/, until two retarded children took over the board) was an obvious destination. Since it still wasn't enough of a secret club, they moved off site to places like 4-ch for a few days before returning to /jp/ with a more cultured outlook on shitposting.
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john, a big beautiful all-American football hero type, about twenty five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.
As soon as he left, I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself.
Of course I'd had jerkoff fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't?), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking.
I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does. I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss. I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankercheif, and stashed them in my briefcase.
In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole -- not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone.
The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process. I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did,bring to a grateful shiteater.
Name:
Anonymous2013-08-02 19:55
Sorry. I don't speak retardese. Can you get someone to translate into meaningful English before you post, please? In future, kindly proofread your posts before assaulting unsuspecting readers of this message board with a litany of misspellings, egregious grammatical errors, and other verbal atrocities.
You amaze me! I didn't think it was possible for one person to possess such a vast reservoir of undiluted gibberish! I understand what you are trying to say, even though you obviously don't. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. I suggest you need Mark Twain's advice; "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
You light up a room when you leave it. No doubt your life is so dull, that you can actually write your diary one week in advance. I'd get more pleasure from running my nostrils down a cactus, than reading another contribution from you. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't so dense that light bends around you; if your weren't so fat that the elephants throw you peanuts at your local Zoo, or if you didn't have a face that could be used as an alternative to a stomach pump. Who am I kidding? You would.
Now, if you care to apologize for wasting my shamefully wasted time, I'll consider accepting it.
This time I knew I was in trouble. The look on my big sister's face made it clear that I was dead meat. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight though.
We crashed onto the bed and wrestled like mad, grunting and growling like a couple of crazy animals. It lasted a few minutes before she distracted me with a charley horse and pinned me to the mattress. We were both panting for breath and I was suddenly very aware of her boobs pressing against my back as she held me down. It was a good thing I was on my stomach. The grappling match had left me with a painfully stiff hard-on, embarassing but not terribly unusual. A gentle breeze could often make me hard those days. Acting tired, I relaxed and pretended to give up. I planned on trying to throw her off when she moved up to administer the standard thwacking, but she stayed laying on top of me and didn’t move.
Afraid that she was thinking up some new and even worse punishment, I quickly flipped myself over on the bed and almost succeeded at knocking her to the floor. She squealed and shoved me back down, hopping up to sit on my chest with her thighs locked around my head. Her leg had brushed against my crotch as she moved up, and to my surprise she suddenly reached back and grabbed my dick through my pants.
“I thought I felt a little pin-prick,’ she said, grinning evilly down at me.
“Shut up,” was my witty comeback.
“Make me.”
I struggled to push her off but her knees had a deathgrip on my head, squeezing down around it like a nutcracker. Still grinning, she reached down and started unbuttoning her fly.
“I think you need to see what a real one looks like,” she said, her voice quieter but no less malevolent.
I winced, afraid to look as she pulled out her cock.
This was *soooo* not right. I could already imagine the many years of therapy that were lying in wait for me. Still, I couldn’t help but look. She had some trouble getting it out, and when she finally succeeded it was obvious why. She was just as hard as I was. Seeing a rigid penis sticking out from the fly of a teenage girl sitting on your chest is an experience that’s not easy to describe, especially when that girl is your sister and you realize that her dick is bigger than your own. I found myself staring up at it in in a state of mild shock. It wasn’t bad as far as penises go I guess; it was maybe five inches long and looked really smooth and clean. It was also, though I hate to admit it, almost *cute.*
She pinned my hands to the bed and looked down at me with a wicked gleam in her eyes. Her cheeks were turning a hot red color like she was blushing. I expected her to slap me with it or something, but she just sat there with her dick pointing slightly down at my face. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I suddenly realized that I was getting really turned on. There were so many things wrong here that it was hard to keep track. And it was about to get even worse.
Cassie’s grin had faded, replaced with an expression of…I wasn’t sure what. Her face was suddenly serious and her boobs were rising and falling with her breathing. Her cock hung stiffly only a few inches away, aiming almost direcly for my mouth.
“Suck it,” she said quietly, almost in a whisper.
I stared at her dick for a moment, not sure exactly what I wanted to do. I’d never even thought about trying something like this before, but...
Without even fully realizing I was doing it, I lifted my head up and gave her cock a little lick. It smelled like the body wash she used and didn’t really taste like anything. Not bad so far. I took the head between my lips and gave it a few experimental sucks. It felt warm and very stiff. Cassie gasped and leaned down over me, pushing herself further into my mouth. I started sucking harder and took as much as I could, feeling it twitch every time the head nudged against my throat. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right, but the way she was gasping and panting led me to believe that she liked it. She was gripping my hands so tight it almost hurt. Suddenly her whole body tensed up, and before I knew what was happening there was a sudden gush of warm, salty liquid in my mouth. She let out a low groan as her cock jumped again, pumping out more of her stuff. It tasted kinda gross. I guess I could have pulled my head away, but I think I was too stunned to move. For some reason I hadn’t expected her to cum the same way a boy did.
After a few more squirts, Cassie’s body relaxed and she slowly rolled off me. She sat at the edge of the bed and looked at me for a second, then suddenly stood up and ran out of the room. Not sure what else to do, I went to the bathroom to spit the stuff out. I rinsed my mouth, feeling ashamed as I realized I was still hard as a rock. It was all very confusing. Did this mean I was gay? I walked to Cassie’s room and stopped outside the door. I could hear the sound of quiet sobbing from inside. I didn’t know what I should do. I wasn’t even sure why she was crying. The situation was just too fucking weird. I went back to my room to fire up my Xbox and tried to forget about it for a while.
Cassie avoided me for almost a week. I didn’t know if she was disgusted with me or just ashamed of what had happened. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but I knew that I didn’t want things to stay weird between us forever. That weekend I waited until mom had gone to bed and then went down the hall to Cassie’s room. I could see a faint light coming from underneath the door so I knew she was probably awake. I knocked softly.
“Cassie?”
There was a moment of silence. “Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
Another pause, but shorter this time. “Okay.”
I went in and closed the door behind me. Cassie was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing only a bra and a pair of boxers. It looked like she’d been reading a book. My eyes immediately locked on her boobs. They were pretty big and were pushing out of the top of her bra like she was starting to outgrow it. I forced myself to look up at her eyes, but she wasn’t looking at me. Neither of us said anything for a few moments.
“Uh, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for, um…” I trailed off, not sure how I should finish. There wasn’t exactly a Hallmark message for this kind of thing.
Cassie finally looked up at me, looking shocked. “*You’re* sorry? Jesus.” She got up and gave me an awkward hug. It was my turn to feel a bit surprised. She hadn’t hugged me in years. I’d been more expecting her to scream and maybe throw something. I could feel her boobs pushing firmly against my chest, and it was starting to have an effect on me. My shorts suddenly felt much tighter.
“It wasn’t your fault. I made you do it.” She said, her head restling lightly on my shoulder. “Do you hate me?”
“No.” I didn’t. In fact, hugging her like this was making me feel warm and lightheaded.
“Good.” She pulled away with a smile, but her smile quickly faded as she looked down and noticed my hard-on though my shorts.
“God, you are such a perv.” She punched me on the chest and walked back to her bed.
“Yeah, well, so are you.” I said, then as she turned back to glare at me I quickly lunged in and yanked her boxers down around her knees. Cassie shrieked and tried to hide herself as she reached to pull them up. I was still able to get a pretty good look. She didn’t have much hair on her crotch. Her penis was semi-hard and I could see that she had a small set of balls hanging down below it. It was pretty weird seeing a package on the body of a sixteen year old girl, but I was starting to get used to weird things.
I decided to make a pre-emptive strike while she was still dealing with her underwear. I tackled her backwards onto the bed, managing to gain the upper hand as she kicked and growled at me. After a quick but frenzied struggle I was able to flip her onto her stomach and pin her hands.
Resting my weight on top of her, I started wondering what I could do to embarrass her and pay her back a little. The fact that I’d managed to pin her on her own bed while she was half-naked was probably pretty humiliating by itself. I wasn’t in much of a hurry to decide. Rare victories like this needed to be savored. Also, her butt was rubbing against me as she tried to push me off, and it felt kinda good.
“Let go!” She twisted underneath me and I felt my dick slip between the cheeks of her ass. It lay trapped between us, pointed up at the small of her back.
Sometimes I called her ‘Assie’ because her rear end was kinda big, but mostly just because the name pissed her off. Right now though it was nothing to joke about. Her boxers were only covering her ass halfway and the warmth and softness of her butt was feeling really good even through my shorts. I had an idea that I shouldn’t be doing this…it seemed almost like rape. It was the only position I could keep her down in though, and I knew that the second I let up she would kill me.
Just then I noticed that she’d mostly stopped struggling. She was still twisting around a little but it didn’t seem like she was trying very hard to knock me off. Mostly it was just making my dick rub against her ass even more. After a few moments it dawned on me that she might be doing it on purpose. I’m normally a bit quicker on the uptake, but the idea that Cassie could somehow *want* me to dry hump her butt just seemed crazy.
Crazy or not, it was starting to feel pretty damn nice. I decided to risk seeing if I could make it even better. She didn’t move as I let one of her hands go and worked my shorts open. I pulled her boxers down a little more, then moved back into place with my dick laying on her naked butt. I noticed quickly that the feel of skin on skin was much, much better. I moved my hips a little so that my cock rubbed slowly back and forth on the crack of her ass. I didn’t know if this was what actual sex was like, but it felt awesome.
I got so lost in the sensations of pushing against her butt that I didn’t realize I was about to cum until it was already happening. I couldn’t move, or even think as my stuff started launching out all over her back. I’d played with myself plenty of times, but this was the most intense cum I’d ever had. I moved off of her when it finally stopped, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself. Cassie’s back and shoulders were streaked and messy with my sperm. Not seeing anything else to clean up with, I used my shorts to mop it up. She was still laying there quietly like she had been the whole time. The only way I knew she was even alive was from her steady breathing.
I sat back on the bed, unable to keep from staring at her butt. There was just something about the curves of her hips and ass that was really hot. If I hadn’t already known she was ‘different,’ there would have been no way to tell from this angle. Acting on a sudden urge, I reached over and gently squeezed her ass with both hands. I kinda expected her to yell at me, but all I heard was something that sounded like a quiet moan. Wondering how far she would let me explore, I slowly pushed her cheeks apart until I could see her little pink butthole. It looked clean and was glistening slightly with sweat. Feeling strangely drawn to it, I moved my hand down and rubbed it lightly with my thumb. She gasped and I felt her jump a little, but she didn’t say anything or push me away. I rubbed it again, then took my hand away and stood up. Maybe she liked me touching her butt, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do down there.
Cassie rolled over on her back and looked at me. Her dick was very stiff and lying back against her stomach, the tip all shiny and wet-looking. I could see the shapes of her nipples poking against her bra. She just laid there watching me as I sat down next to her and put my hand around her cock.
I started moving my hand slowly up and down, noticing how soft the skin felt despite how stiff it was. Even her dick seemed girly. I was thinking about sucking it a little when she suddenly moaned and raised her hips. I instinctively pumped a little harder as I saw a thick white jet of cum shoot out over my hand and land on her stomach. She kept flexing her hips as a few more spurts came out, then she fell limp with a long sigh. The sight of her cumming had made my own cock fully hard again. She saw it sticking up as I stood to wipe off my hand and her stomach. She groaned and rolled her eyes.
“Go to bed, Knob,” she said, tugging her boxers back up. “Just remember that I owe you a beating.” She grinned evilly and I made a hasty exit before she decided to make good on it.
Things were quiet for a few days. It was obvious to me that I was getting more and more attracted to my own sister, and it was just as obvious that it didn’t bother me much. I knew it was wrong but it didn’t feel like what we did was hurting anybody. Anyway, thinking about it too much just gave me a headache, so I stopped worrying. I did know that the idea of playing with another guy’s dick still grossed me out. With Cassie it was different.
One afternoon we were doing chores. I’d felt hyperactive all day, and when I saw Cassie leaning over in the kitchen to get something from under the sink I couldn’t resist the urge to snap her with a damp rag. Her ass was just too tempting a target. The cloth impacted against her butt with a startlingly loud crack, and she yelped and spun around with murder in her eyes. I ran, laughing like a maniac the whole time.
She cornered me in the living room before I could make the stairs. I tried to fake her out and jump past, but she caught me and tackled me down onto the couch.
I did my best to escape, but her wet hands gave her an unfair advantage when grabbing my clothes. They also hurt when she pinned me face down with her knees in my back and started spanking me hard on the butt.
“If you’re gonna act like a brat, you’re gonna get treated like one,” she said, her voice sounding stern though I was sure that she had a huge grin on her face. It wasn’t really a typical spanking either. She rested her hand on my butt for a little while in between smacks, sometimes even squeezing it a bit. It was embarrasing and the spanking part hurt, but the more gentle stuff felt kinda good. After a few minutes she suddenly reached underneath me and put her hand on my crotch like she was checking to see if I was hard. And if course, I was.
“Perv.” She gave me another hard whack on the ass, then let me up and went back to the kitchen. I followed slowly, my rear end smarting and my dick hard as a rock. I watched Cassie’s butt as she walked, suddenly feeling more horny than I ever had in my life. She went back to the sink and a few seconds later I moved up from behind and grabbed her, my dick pressing against her ass. Even though I hadn’t planned it that way, my hands ended up right on her boobs. They felt warm and heavy and really nice in my palms.
“Stop it.” Cassie pulled my hands off her chest and wriggled away toward the counter.
I was way too turned on to listen. I caught her and put my hands back on her tits, squeezing them a little as I started rubbing against her like I’d done on her bed. I felt like I was going to cum even with our clothes still on. I kept expecting her to stop me again, but she didn’t. She just leaned forward, putting her hands on the counter as I played with her boobs and slowly humped her butt. After only a few minutes I started to cum, feeling a rush of sticky heat fill my underwear. I rested up against her for a bit, feeling her boobs moving slowly up and down in my hands as she breathed. It felt really neat.
Suddenly she turned around and pushed me down on my knees. I watched as she quickly undid her pants, her stiff cock falling out almost right away. I didn’t hesitate. I started sucking it as hard as I could, hearing Cassie groan softly as she flexed her hips toward my mouth. I reached around and started feeling her butt as I sucked on as much of her dick as I could. The look on her face told me that she was really enjoying it, and I started to wonder what having my own sucked would feel like. She put her hand on my head and ran her fingers roughly through my hair, then a few seconds later her cock got even harder and started squirting in my mouth. It didn’t taste as gross as I remembered, and I decided to swallow it and see what would happen. It didn’t kill me. Cassie moaned and leaned back against the countertop, and I kept sucking her gently until she pushed me away. She gave me a weird little smile as I stood up, then smacked me again on the butt.
“Okay,” she said, suddenly looking serious again. “Stop fucking around and finish your chores.”
Name:
Anonymous2013-08-04 20:49
Do not smoke the herbal Jew.
Do not talk about the herbal Jew.
Do not associate with those who support the the herbal Jew.
Write your nation's legislature and express support for the use of capital punishment on illegal drug traffickers.
If you know someone who smokes marijuana, call the police on them.
If you see someone wearing a pot-culture emblem, refuse to help them.
Together, we can smite the kikes and stoners.
Name:
Anonymous2013-08-05 1:49
Programming is boring and demeaning, everyone wants to go drinking
after work, weed cost to much, sex is gross, computer takes forever to
compile, suicide nets outside windows, music isn't interesting, have
to ride the bus like a poor person, teleconferencing with foreigners,
no good restaurants close enough to have lunch at, performance
evaluations based on lines of code, stuck on /prog/ at three in the
morning, vending machine won't accept bills, mixed agile with
waterfall, impromptu speech at meeting, unpaid overtime, SVN
repository corrupt, change orders, stupid security measures, MSDN
subscriptions, comment quotas, refactoring code from 2003, office
politics, going to a family function at parent's house, wasted sick
days just to sleep in, dress codes, tax office doesn't accept Visa
debit, rent just got raised, people drinking energy drinks, paperwork,
internet filter, people take five thousand items to the express lane,
having to show ID to buy liquor, office slut gossip, uncomfortable
chair, consultants, slogan posters everywhere, janitor didn't empty
the trashcan, light is too bright, two week waiting period to buy a
gun, cat left a dead bird in the bed, pen is out of ink, makefiles,
asshole stole your bagged lunch, holiday parties, pair programming
with a faggot, having to share a secretary, scripting languages,
endless manuals and tech documents, beard is itchy, had a bad dream,
water has something floating in it, endless talk about pitiful poor
people, lighter is out of fluid, shift key going out, someone brought
a store-brand soda, coin counter counted a dime as a penny, mouse
laser shines in your eye, television infomercials, old people who
refuse to retire or die, Taco Bell makes you shit blood, got a
speeding ticket in the mail, batteries went dead, candle burned out,
drug dealer won't call back, someone broke the build, everything is
virtualized, high blood pressure, torrent has zero seeds, left
something across the room before you sat down, waitress won't refill
your fucking drink, printer out of toner, got a cavity, spilled the
ashtray, out of sleeping pills, air conditioner is shitty, women
trying to force conversation and not accepting `fuck off' for an
answer, complete multivitamin isn't all that complete, considered bad
form to drink mouthwash, Windows 8, cubicles, being called `Mister',
got a headache, holes in clothes, circular dependencies, autocomplete,
reimaging, fork is slightly bent, someone pealed the stickers off the
Rubik's Cube, temp workers, gum under the table, dogs barking, knife
isn't sharp enough, public intoxication laws, things take too long to
ship from Japan, Red Hat Linux, tech support contractors, ate the ice
cream too fast, got into a political argument with an idiot, exposed
nail under desk, scratched the front of your Rolex watch, not enough
cabinet space, florescent lighting hurts your eyes, password
complexity requirements with no basis in reality, flowers in window
all died, 401k is poorly managed, fell asleep with a lit cigarette in
hand, etc....
Name:
Anonymous2013-08-05 19:14
There's something I've always tried to say but nobody would listen to me.
I'm in love with Nikita. I'd wish I could cuddle with him and kiss him while he calls me a dirty kike. Then I'd ask him if he wants to see the proof of the covenant I made with G-d, and he would say "Shalom, hymie!". I'd take off his clothes with my mouth, and once we're both left only with our underwear, I'd recite the Shema while pulling down his pink panties. After we're left bare-naked, I'd start sucking his dick, while my cut and pert penis throbs to the thrill of sucking off an Antisemite. Once he cums, I'd give him a rimjob so as to prepare him for the reverse Shoah. Losing my control, I forcefully insert my wet manrod into his Gentile cum-lubricated anus. Thrusting harder and harder, he'd quickly fall to the temptation of Jewish cock, and start begging for more. Now Nikita has been successfully converted to the religion of the Chosen ones, and we will have daily Torah study sessions.
Ruby has a life outside the internet, while Python can't go six hours without playing Call of Duty and geting called a faggot by preteen boys on XBox Live.
Ruby teaches gym class and lets you smoke under the bleachers, while Java teaches third-grade english and makes you read aloud in class.
Ruby has the ability to empathize with others, while Clojure has over two terabytes of child porn.
Ruby is healthy and stong, while Perl has AIDS and needs life support machines to keep him breathing.
Ruby sometimes enjoys weed, while Common Lisp sucked off a nigger for a single crack rock.
Ruby loves animal and treasures the companionship, while Haskell ran over your dog and made you clean up the mess.
Ruby has a vast collection of anime stored on his hard drive, while Smalltalk streams anime and buys the DVDs.
Ruby is financially secure and has invested his money wisely, while C++ is always trying to borrow money to buy real estate on the moon.
Ruby respects people's personal space, while Fortran gets six inches from your face and spits when he talks.
Ruby can agree to disagree, while Scheme wants to behead those who insult Islam.
Ruby never hits on your girlfriend, while BASIC molests your children.
Ruby has a good job and good mental health, while Symta lives with his mother and spends 18 hours a day shitposting on obscure forums in a foreign language.
Ruby is clean and neat, while Lua leaves his trash in your car whenever you take him somewhere.
Ruby was voted `Most Likely To Succeed' in high school, while Scala took a gun to school and shot the place up.
Ruby cares about a friend's safety, while PHP secretly laced your weed with PCP then called the cops on you.
Ruby knows that Jews are evil, while C# is a jew himself.
Ruby served nine tours of duty in six different wars, while F# dodge the draft and moved to Canada.
Ruby plays the Touhou as Marisa when she's available, while Go won't play at all if he can't play as Reimu.
Ruby is learning Japanese to translate visual novels for others, while Javascript is learning Japanese so he can read hentai by himself.
Ruby accepts the fact that programming is demeaning, while OCaml also agrees that programming is demeaning.
Ruby takes care to not break your stuff, while Pascal clumsily dropped super glue on your carpet.
Ruby gets laid with a new girl every night, while C cries while masturbating herself to sleep.
Ruby offers you the last piece of food, while Ada orders a bunch of appetizers then eats most of them but still wants to divide the check evenly.
Ruby recognizes that magic may exist and understands it's appeal, while Scheme emotionally argued for Small Bomb Theory for hours on end.
Ruby is the model Aryan to carry on the Human Race, while Game Maker Language has 24 chromosomes.
Ruby is a well mannered drinker, while Assembly thought it would be funny to take a shit in the sink.
Ruby values functionality over form, while Forth is an art major who loudly complains about `conformist' with his hipster friends in Starbucks.
Ruby can function in almost any environment, while Verilog thinks the Sun is going to eat him and refuses to go outside.
Ruby knows when and how to tell a good story, while Tcl talks about 4chan and lolies at parties that he got a pity invite to.
In 1891 in Springfield, Masschusetts, Dr. James Naismith nailed a peach basket ten feet from the ground, creating the sport of basketball.
Shortly after, in a move considered vastly out of character, the Canadian-born Naismith did not remain in the United States. He did not help promote and refine his sport through YMCA organisations throughout the country.
Instead, he self-diagnosed himself with yellow fever and travelled to Japan for health reasons. He brought with him his peach basket, creating the sport of basuketoboru.
In the United States, basketball gradually became widespread through drawcard players like Wilt Chamberlain, whose debut is now considered to have ushered in the Golden Age of basketball. Despite this, it was still considered less a sport than a game, played for entertainment at social gatherings rather than competitively. It was primarily played by children and teenagers, who moved onto more respected sports when they became of mature age. The stigma of basketball being a diversion for children rather than a sport of actual athletic merit continues even today.
In Japan, basuketoboru developed along similar lines until the postwar era, when a ban was lifted on non-state approved sports. After borrowing techniques from other sports and from basketball, basuketoboru exploded in popularity. Its following became larger and more diverse than basketball, spawning correspondingly diverse playing styles and techniques, such as the full court decompress. Although still primarily played by children and teens, it garnered some respect as a legitimate sport, as signified by its inclusion into the Olympics.
The Olympics standardised the rules between basketball and basuketoboru, but there were still major variations in the way it was played in either country. The uniforms worn in the U.S. were flamboyantly coloured spandex, whilst the Japanese basuketoboru uniforms were typically monochromatic, using high contrast to distinguish home and away. In basketball, the timer for each quarter would count down from 12 minutes, whilst basuketoboru's timer counted up to 12 minutes. Fans of one were unaccustomed to the other, calling it 'backwards'.
As time went on, it was in the United States that the first cracks begun to appear in the status quo. There were many of course, loyal to basketball since childhood. But from there the sport fractured into many subgroups.
Some grew weary of trying to change people's perceptions of basketball as a children's game. They split off from other leagues and formed their own. They also announced that although they were still playing basketball, their sport was no longer called basketball. It would now be called basket-based athletics.
Still other Americans agreed with the perception, and shunned basketball entirely. They begun to follow basuketoboru exclusively, and it fast gained its own niche. As some understood it, basuketoboru was not merely basketball but the way the Japanese played it. In short order, American basketoboru fans grew up wanting to be players. And riding the wave of popularity, the same local companies who broadcast basuketoboru from Japan to American fans sponsored the creation of a professional domestic league.
The debut was disappointing and universally panned. The standard of play was amateurish, perhaps college-level at the most for some teams. But nowhere near professional, and nowhere near Japan. Worse still, it exposed another fracture and yet another subgroup. The purists. As they understood it, basuketoboru was not merely basketball, and not merely the way the Japanese played it, it was basketball as played by Japanese people. They saw the domestic league as a cheap imitation, missing the point of basuketoboru entirely. It was just basketball in black and white uniforms with the clocks counting up.
American basuketoboru was an oxymoron, an impossibility. They called it 'wasuketoboru'. The term took off.
For years the league struggled. Their matches were poorly attended and those that were there were mostly aspiring players themselves. The purists had no such aspirations, and vindicated, waited with glee for it to die.
Michael James Jordan entered the domestic league as the third pick in the first round, and his impact was felt immediately. He had grown up around basuketoboru and played it all his life. For him it was as natural as breathing. His debut year saw him bag the Rookie of the Year award and a spot on the All-Star team, and people began to take notice.
The purists admitted yes, he was good, but what he was playing was not basuketoboru. No matter how good he was, it was still just basketball. Fans of the league hated people calling their sport 'basketball'.
In his fourth season Jordan became league MVP, All-Star MVP, won the defensive player of the year award and his second consecutive Slam Dunk contest.
Look, said the purists, he's clearly very good, but he can only recreate basuketoboru. Anything new he brings to the game will at best be considered basuketoboru-style.
Jordan asked to be traded to the JBL when his contract came up for renegotiation, where he was signed by a marquee team in Japan. He was immediately moved to the position of center, and led them to a championship trophy, where he clinched the finals MVP.
It was proof, said his American fans. They weren't pigeonholed into the childish trifle that was basketball by virtue of birth – Americans could play basuketoboru.
Soon Jordan's team began to rely on him to the point of predictability. To combat this, the assistant coach and Jordan developed a triangle offense strategy. It worked, and became the cornerstone offensive strategy for many teams, a tactical mainstay of the Japanese game.
ESPN named Jordan the greatest basketball player of the decade. NHK Sports named Jordan the greatest basuketoboru player of the decade.
Jordan was asked to weigh in on the debate.
Did he consider himself a basketball player, or a basuketoboru player? Or perhaps a basket-based athelete?
Could Americans play basuketoboru?
Could Japanese play basketball?
How did he define them? What if your team was Japanese, but you played in an American league, but you didn't wear spandex, and the clock counted -
He replied that he had not given it much thought and did not realise they were two different sports. The answer pleased no-one and was derided on the internet as simplistic and ignorant.
Jordan retired on a career high and was widely recognised as one of the greatest players ever.
consider this: a pack of e/g/in /g/ros trampling your board spouting their memes and dog-earing your SICP. Then the master /g/ro proceed to rape you with his muh le stick and you are forced to buy a mechanical keyboard