HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED INDENTATION OF THE CODE
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OTHER CAR I GUESS ?
ITS A CDR
AND IS PRONOUNCED ``CUDDER'' OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS/prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE READ SICP
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO
TOO BAD RUBY ON RAILS IS SLOW AS FUCK
BBCODE AND ((SCHEME)) ARE THE ULTIMATE LANGUAGES
ALSO
WELCOME TO/prog/ EVERY THREAD WILL BE REPLIED TO
NO EXCEPTION
Here's why one should be wise regarding Ruby:
- Ruby, like most other badly designed languages, does not require variables to be declared, as (let (x 123) ...) in Lisp or int x = 123 in C/C++. If you want a variable private to a block, you need to pick an unique variable name, holding the entire symbol table in your head. Ruby introduces new variables by just parsing their assignments, meaning "a = 1 if false; a" wont raise an error. Ruby can't detect even a trivial typo - it will produce a program, which will continue working for hours until it reaches the typo. Local and global scopes are unintuitive. Certain operations (like regular expression operator) create implicit local variables for even more confusion.
- Ruby indulges obfuscation: Ruby has no keyword/optional arguments, so you'll have to use hash parameters as a substitute. This is an idiom that comes from Perl. Ugly, Perl-looking code, like proc {|obj, *args| obj.send(self, *args)} or (0..127).each { |n| p n.chr }, considered beautiful. Another confusing Perl borrowing are postfix `if` and `while` (line = file.readline while line != "needle" if valid line) and quirky variable names (partially due to naive environment design): @instance_var, @@class_var, CONSTANT_VAR, $global_var, :sym, &proc, $~[1], $!, $>, $@, $&, $+, $0, $~, $’, $`, $:, $., $* and $?. If A is [1,2,3] and B is [10,20,30], then A+B is [1,2,3,10,20,30], when you probably wanted [11,22,33]. If `a` and `b` are undefined, then "a = b" produces error, but "a = a" gives `nil`.
- Faulty syntax. Ruby cant distinguishing a method call from an operator: "a +b" can be both "a(+b)" and "a + b" - remove the space to the left of "+" or add a space to the right of "+", and it will be parsed as an addition. Same with "puts s *10", which is parsed as puts(s(*10)). Ruby's expressions terminate by a newline and you have to implicitly state that the expression is not over, using trailing + or \. That makes it easy to make a dumb syntactic mistake by forgeting to continue line. It also encourages putting everything onto a single line, producing messy looking code. A good amount of your code will consist of "begin end begin begin end end..." noise.
- Slow: JIT-compiling implementations exist, but they're still slow and incomplete, due to Ruby's complexity and bad design, which make Ruby difficult to optimize compared to other dynamic languages, like Lisp. For example, Ruby has to accomodate for somebody in another thread changing the definition of a class spontaneously, forcing compiler to be very conservative. Compiler hints, like `int X` from C/C++ or `declare (int X)` from Lisp, arent possible either.
- Ruby's GC is a naive mark-and-sweep implementation, which stores the mark bit directly inside objects, a GC cycle will thus result in all objects being written to, making their memory pages `dirty` and Ruby's speed proportional to the number of allocated objects. Ruby simply was not designed to support hundred thousand objects allocation per second. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what frameworks like Ruby on Rails do. The more objects you allocate, the more time you "lose" at code execution. For instance something as simple as 100.times{ ‘foo’ } allocates 100 string objects, because strings are mutable and therefore each version requires its own copy. A simple Ruby on Rails 'hello world' already uses around 332000 objects.
- OOP: Matz had a bit too much of the "OOP is the light and the way" philosophy in him, in effect Ruby doesn't have stand-alone functions and Ruby's blocks can't be used in exactly the same way as usual closures. Even high-order functions are attached to objects and produce verbose code: "names.map { |name| name.upcase }", instead of simple "map upcase names".
- Non-othogonal: {|bar| bar.foo}, proc {|bar| bar.foo}, lambda {|bar| bar.foo}, def baz(bar) bar.foo end - all copy the same functionality, where Lisp gets along with only `lambda`. Some Ruby's features duplicate each other: print "Hello", puts "Hello", $stdout<<"Hello", printf "Hello", p "Hello", write "Hello" and putc "Hello" -- all output text to stdout; there is also sprintf, which duplicates functionality of printf and string splicing. begin/do/then/end, {} and `:` also play role in bloating syntax, however, in some cases, precedence issues cause do/end and {} to act differently ({} binds more tightly than a do/end). More bloat comes from || and `or`, which serve the same purpose.
- Ruby as a language supports continuations via callcc keyword. Ruby's callcc is incredibly slow, implemented via stack copying. JRuby and IronRuby don't have continuations at all, and it's quite unlikely they will ever get them. There were also support breaches in mainline Ruby, where Ruby 1.9 has not supported continuations for a while. If you want your code to be portable, I'd suggest not using Ruby.
- Ruby was created "because there was no good scripting language that could handle Japanese text". Today it's mostly Rails hype and no outstanding feature, that makes the language, like the brevity of APL or simplicity and macros of Lisp. "There is some truth in the claim that Ruby doesn’t really give us anything that wasn’t there long ago in Lisp and Smalltalk, but they weren’t bad languages." -- Matthew Huntbach
Name:
Anonymous2013-03-27 10:56
BITCH FUCK SHITS!YOU NIGGER NAZI ASSES! YOU CAN FUCK HELL! BAN YU ALL! YOU GET BANNED! YOU GAVE OUT MY PASSWORD!I AM THE MOST FUCKING NGGER MATURE! GIVE ME BACK THE PASSWRD!
ASKFHSed?Gsdfghsdfkhgbafgbhbgfhbfs fukk sex you nigger cock pussy! i fuck yhou you have satan you canada ass whovdoesn't beleive in Christ! I HOPE YOU ALL GET RAPES!
Seriously, they are just a bunch of line of pixels. Why the fuck do men go crazy about them? It makes no fucking sense. I am not a fucking webpage; I have no need for JPEGs. Surely this has to be a mass dick waving contest or something, where very guy has to try to profess his love of yōkai more than everyone else or be called gaijin.
Well I'm going to break this cycle. I am no baka and I like yōkai real and tangible, or if not that, then 3D. Not a fucking bunch of squiggly lines of pixels drawn together.
Anyone agree, or have some other insight to add?
Name:
Anonymous2013-05-23 19:10
hi ever1 im autism!!!!!!! *autism* my autism is autism but u can call me t3h 4uTiSm oFaut1sM!!!!!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very AUTISM!!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet AUTISTIC AUTISTS like me ^_^... im 13 years old (im autistic 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch autism video lectures w/ my autism (my autism is autistic if u dont like it deal w/it) its our autism!!! bcuz its SOOOO AUTISTIC!!!! hes autistic 2 of course but i want 2 meet more AUTISTIC AUTISTS =) like they say the more the more autistic!!!!!!
lol...neways i hope 2 make alot of autism here so give me lots of autism!!!!AUTIIIIIIIIIISM!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein AUTISTIC again ^_^ hehe..autism!!!!!
*~t3h 4uTiSm oFaut1sM~*
Name:
Anonymous2013-05-27 16:44
Consider this: A pack of urbanized Whites.
Civilized, free Whites nearing your nigger home. Treating your nigger lawn with lawnmowers. Educating your nigger daughter in a free public school.
And you can't do shit since they're civilized. The White leader grants your wife rights to vote and be elected and guarantees her full civil liberties in his presidential speech.
The educated Whites finally dominate your 'hood. They show pop-science shows on TV and you are forced to be their equal.
Such is the upbringing of Nigger Man.
Name:
Anonymous2013-05-27 20:33
Consider this: *grabs dick*
420 GET.
Name:
Anonymous2013-05-28 3:53
I want to become an expert shitposter like that LEGGIUN LEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL XDDDDDDDDDDDd guy but I don't really know how he composes those beautiful shitposts. Is there a structure to it or is completely freeform? how can I repeat it?
Yes, this always works for me. If you are using linux, add these arguments to the gcc:
--fvomit-framepointer --gmark-of-the-beast
Recompile the source and when its ready, transfer the compiled binary to a floppy disk. Take the floppy and place it on the floor in the center of your room. Wait for the next full moon, and then surround the floppy with ten lit candles, tracing out a circle of radius 666mm. Once the candles are going, go out into the night and slaughter a goat. Bring the corpse back to your room, and empty its blood unto the floppy drive. Carefully smear the blood to form a pentagram that links the even index candles in the circle. Quickly, before the blood dries, collect a bundle of dry brush and grasp it firmly in your hand. On the stroke of midnight, touch the brush to a candle in the circle to ignite it and hold the brush over the blood-soaked floppy, and begin chanting:
``Eater of redundancy, preserver of entropy, come and feast, feast tonight...''
The goat blood will begin to smoke and melt partially into the floor. The smoke will rise and circle within the room, turning grey, dark green, and then bright orange. At this point, raise your hands into the air, still holding the burning brush, and yell:
``COME FEAST, EATER OF REDUNDANCY. COME AND FEAST TONIGHT!''
Very suddenly, all lights will be extinguished save for the candles in the circle and the smoke will envelope the room. Two piercing red eyes will open on the ceiling and paralyze you. You must quickly fight the paralysis and hold the beheaded goat up to the demon as on offering BEFORE THE MOUTH APPEARS, or you will be devoured instead. His powerful tongue will penetrate the goat. You'll feel it riping the body apart from within, pulling the raw muscles from the bones and sucking the stomach dry. After the initial frenzy, let the demon pull the goat up to its jaws, and after he is satisfied say the words:
``Grand eater of redundancy, I present thee with data. I humbly request you eat the binary, and preserve the data''
The candles and goat blood soaked floppy will begin to hover in the air and tumble slowly in a circle. The evil master's eyes pierce into the floppy, burning its magnetic tape. Wait for the process to complete.
This next step is very important. After eating the redundant data, the red eyes will close in on you. Hold up the severed goat head and the demon (he isn't very smart) will take the goat's body instead of yours. The goat head will become animated and disgruntled, so take it outside and leave it in the street. The birds will pick it over and eventually release the demon so he may return home.
Once the chaos has subsided, pick up the brunt floppy and recover the remaining data. This will form the compressed image that you can release as your final product. The only downside is your customers will have to repeat the ritual to get the demon to vomit the original data for them.
Name:
Anonymous2013-07-22 15:37
/jp/'s shitposting is closer to our brand (which is quite close to 2005 era /b/), while /a/'s is closer to the new age imagereddit shitposting common to the rest of the main imageboards.
What that basically means is that /a/ shitposts by having a deluge of completely worthless shit, but isn't interesting in the slightest, or simple garbage that gets repeated simply because it is annoying. Example: '>implying, image macros, and other shit that would have been funny in middle school. /prog/'s and, to a lesser much extent, /jp/'s, shitposting consist of having a few different shitpost methods with at least some thought put into their creation (for example, the `How are breasts attractive' thread, which is completely off topic and ridiculous, but is well written and somewhat interesting none-the-less). Ideas are formed on a questionable premise, then expanded upon until it reaches it's absurd logical conclusion. It may also take the form of making a huge deal over a minor detail, or assuming things that are false and writing a long critique based upon that, or making provably impossible demands. Contrary to Standard 4chan Shitpost Model (S4SM), where the intent is to annoy, the intent of our shitposting is to entertain, provoke discussion, or simply as an exercise in writing.
Since the fall of Usenet, w4c style shitposting is currently considered some of the best in the world. Even the great usenet trolls have migrated to /prog/ to bask in the glory of our shitposting. The UN is currently trying to classify /prog/ as a world heritage site, but their action may come too late. W4c shitposting is currently an endangered species, due to invasion by the imagereddits, a dwindling population caused by suicide and incarceration, and moderator action. Some have speculated that moot is trying to kill all forms of shitposting that do not conform to Project Canv.as. So far, the best defense available is to derail stupid imagereddit threads with kopipe and JEWS, as well as giving harmful advice to homework threads. It is considered rude to call a w4c style shitpost in conformance with board standards bad.
It is thought by leading scholars that the reason for the Shitposting Schism was the rapid growth of /b/ due to the media exposure of Chanology, when an influx of underage Digg users caused 4chan to explode. Others claim that the shift happened even before that, during the first influx newfags during 2006. This school of thought holds that the first influx gave rise to the loutish behavior of `raiding' and other bullshit, which was a direct cause of the second major wave. Once /b/ was populated almost completely with underage children, the shitposting culture changed to it's modern form, where it is a competition on who can be the most annoying. The cancerous population then colonized nearly every other board on 4chan that could possibly appeal to it's socially well-adjusted population. Mentifex, an expert in the field, built the Artificial Unintellegence ANDRU to model the thought process of the imageredditors. Despite a few setbacks, the project has largely been a major success.
Since world4ch was not linked to on most boards, and since the average imageredditor ignores anything that isn't a reaction image anyway, the area was left mostly unharmed by the change of shitposting. It remained much more subtle, and resembled machine generated spam less than the imageboard brand. Since /jp/ was at one point full of autistic sexually deviants (a natural pairing for /prog/riders) and were far more computer literate than boards such as /g/ or /b/, they were naturally drawn to programming; /prog/ and /lounge/ (which had a shitposting style slightly different than /prog/, until two retarded children took over the board) was an obvious destination. Since it still wasn't enough of a secret club, they moved off site to places like 4-ch for a few days before returning to /jp/ with a more cultured outlook on shitposting.
A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john, a big beautiful all-American football hero type, about twenty five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.
As soon as he left, I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself.
Of course I'd had jerkoff fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't?), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking.
I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does. I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss. I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankercheif, and stashed them in my briefcase.
In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole -- not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone.
The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process. I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did,bring to a grateful shiteater.
Name:
Anonymous2013-08-02 19:55
Sorry. I don't speak retardese. Can you get someone to translate into meaningful English before you post, please? In future, kindly proofread your posts before assaulting unsuspecting readers of this message board with a litany of misspellings, egregious grammatical errors, and other verbal atrocities.
You amaze me! I didn't think it was possible for one person to possess such a vast reservoir of undiluted gibberish! I understand what you are trying to say, even though you obviously don't. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. I suggest you need Mark Twain's advice; "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
You light up a room when you leave it. No doubt your life is so dull, that you can actually write your diary one week in advance. I'd get more pleasure from running my nostrils down a cactus, than reading another contribution from you. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't so dense that light bends around you; if your weren't so fat that the elephants throw you peanuts at your local Zoo, or if you didn't have a face that could be used as an alternative to a stomach pump. Who am I kidding? You would.
Now, if you care to apologize for wasting my shamefully wasted time, I'll consider accepting it.
This time I knew I was in trouble. The look on my big sister's face made it clear that I was dead meat. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight though.
We crashed onto the bed and wrestled like mad, grunting and growling like a couple of crazy animals. It lasted a few minutes before she distracted me with a charley horse and pinned me to the mattress. We were both panting for breath and I was suddenly very aware of her boobs pressing against my back as she held me down. It was a good thing I was on my stomach. The grappling match had left me with a painfully stiff hard-on, embarassing but not terribly unusual. A gentle breeze could often make me hard those days. Acting tired, I relaxed and pretended to give up. I planned on trying to throw her off when she moved up to administer the standard thwacking, but she stayed laying on top of me and didn’t move.
Afraid that she was thinking up some new and even worse punishment, I quickly flipped myself over on the bed and almost succeeded at knocking her to the floor. She squealed and shoved me back down, hopping up to sit on my chest with her thighs locked around my head. Her leg had brushed against my crotch as she moved up, and to my surprise she suddenly reached back and grabbed my dick through my pants.
“I thought I felt a little pin-prick,’ she said, grinning evilly down at me.
“Shut up,” was my witty comeback.
“Make me.”
I struggled to push her off but her knees had a deathgrip on my head, squeezing down around it like a nutcracker. Still grinning, she reached down and started unbuttoning her fly.
“I think you need to see what a real one looks like,” she said, her voice quieter but no less malevolent.
I winced, afraid to look as she pulled out her cock.
This was *soooo* not right. I could already imagine the many years of therapy that were lying in wait for me. Still, I couldn’t help but look. She had some trouble getting it out, and when she finally succeeded it was obvious why. She was just as hard as I was. Seeing a rigid penis sticking out from the fly of a teenage girl sitting on your chest is an experience that’s not easy to describe, especially when that girl is your sister and you realize that her dick is bigger than your own. I found myself staring up at it in in a state of mild shock. It wasn’t bad as far as penises go I guess; it was maybe five inches long and looked really smooth and clean. It was also, though I hate to admit it, almost *cute.*
She pinned my hands to the bed and looked down at me with a wicked gleam in her eyes. Her cheeks were turning a hot red color like she was blushing. I expected her to slap me with it or something, but she just sat there with her dick pointing slightly down at my face. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I suddenly realized that I was getting really turned on. There were so many things wrong here that it was hard to keep track. And it was about to get even worse.
Cassie’s grin had faded, replaced with an expression of…I wasn’t sure what. Her face was suddenly serious and her boobs were rising and falling with her breathing. Her cock hung stiffly only a few inches away, aiming almost direcly for my mouth.
“Suck it,” she said quietly, almost in a whisper.
I stared at her dick for a moment, not sure exactly what I wanted to do. I’d never even thought about trying something like this before, but...
Without even fully realizing I was doing it, I lifted my head up and gave her cock a little lick. It smelled like the body wash she used and didn’t really taste like anything. Not bad so far. I took the head between my lips and gave it a few experimental sucks. It felt warm and very stiff. Cassie gasped and leaned down over me, pushing herself further into my mouth. I started sucking harder and took as much as I could, feeling it twitch every time the head nudged against my throat. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right, but the way she was gasping and panting led me to believe that she liked it. She was gripping my hands so tight it almost hurt. Suddenly her whole body tensed up, and before I knew what was happening there was a sudden gush of warm, salty liquid in my mouth. She let out a low groan as her cock jumped again, pumping out more of her stuff. It tasted kinda gross. I guess I could have pulled my head away, but I think I was too stunned to move. For some reason I hadn’t expected her to cum the same way a boy did.
After a few more squirts, Cassie’s body relaxed and she slowly rolled off me. She sat at the edge of the bed and looked at me for a second, then suddenly stood up and ran out of the room. Not sure what else to do, I went to the bathroom to spit the stuff out. I rinsed my mouth, feeling ashamed as I realized I was still hard as a rock. It was all very confusing. Did this mean I was gay? I walked to Cassie’s room and stopped outside the door. I could hear the sound of quiet sobbing from inside. I didn’t know what I should do. I wasn’t even sure why she was crying. The situation was just too fucking weird. I went back to my room to fire up my Xbox and tried to forget about it for a while.
Cassie avoided me for almost a week. I didn’t know if she was disgusted with me or just ashamed of what had happened. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but I knew that I didn’t want things to stay weird between us forever. That weekend I waited until mom had gone to bed and then went down the hall to Cassie’s room. I could see a faint light coming from underneath the door so I knew she was probably awake. I knocked softly.
“Cassie?”
There was a moment of silence. “Yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
Another pause, but shorter this time. “Okay.”
I went in and closed the door behind me. Cassie was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing only a bra and a pair of boxers. It looked like she’d been reading a book. My eyes immediately locked on her boobs. They were pretty big and were pushing out of the top of her bra like she was starting to outgrow it. I forced myself to look up at her eyes, but she wasn’t looking at me. Neither of us said anything for a few moments.
“Uh, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for, um…” I trailed off, not sure how I should finish. There wasn’t exactly a Hallmark message for this kind of thing.
Cassie finally looked up at me, looking shocked. “*You’re* sorry? Jesus.” She got up and gave me an awkward hug. It was my turn to feel a bit surprised. She hadn’t hugged me in years. I’d been more expecting her to scream and maybe throw something. I could feel her boobs pushing firmly against my chest, and it was starting to have an effect on me. My shorts suddenly felt much tighter.
“It wasn’t your fault. I made you do it.” She said, her head restling lightly on my shoulder. “Do you hate me?”
“No.” I didn’t. In fact, hugging her like this was making me feel warm and lightheaded.
“Good.” She pulled away with a smile, but her smile quickly faded as she looked down and noticed my hard-on though my shorts.
“God, you are such a perv.” She punched me on the chest and walked back to her bed.
“Yeah, well, so are you.” I said, then as she turned back to glare at me I quickly lunged in and yanked her boxers down around her knees. Cassie shrieked and tried to hide herself as she reached to pull them up. I was still able to get a pretty good look. She didn’t have much hair on her crotch. Her penis was semi-hard and I could see that she had a small set of balls hanging down below it. It was pretty weird seeing a package on the body of a sixteen year old girl, but I was starting to get used to weird things.
I decided to make a pre-emptive strike while she was still dealing with her underwear. I tackled her backwards onto the bed, managing to gain the upper hand as she kicked and growled at me. After a quick but frenzied struggle I was able to flip her onto her stomach and pin her hands.
Resting my weight on top of her, I started wondering what I could do to embarrass her and pay her back a little. The fact that I’d managed to pin her on her own bed while she was half-naked was probably pretty humiliating by itself. I wasn’t in much of a hurry to decide. Rare victories like this needed to be savored. Also, her butt was rubbing against me as she tried to push me off, and it felt kinda good.
“Let go!” She twisted underneath me and I felt my dick slip between the cheeks of her ass. It lay trapped between us, pointed up at the small of her back.
Sometimes I called her ‘Assie’ because her rear end was kinda big, but mostly just because the name pissed her off. Right now though it was nothing to joke about. Her boxers were only covering her ass halfway and the warmth and softness of her butt was feeling really good even through my shorts. I had an idea that I shouldn’t be doing this…it seemed almost like rape. It was the only position I could keep her down in though, and I knew that the second I let up she would kill me.
Just then I noticed that she’d mostly stopped struggling. She was still twisting around a little but it didn’t seem like she was trying very hard to knock me off. Mostly it was just making my dick rub against her ass even more. After a few moments it dawned on me that she might be doing it on purpose. I’m normally a bit quicker on the uptake, but the idea that Cassie could somehow *want* me to dry hump her butt just seemed crazy.
Crazy or not, it was starting to feel pretty damn nice. I decided to risk seeing if I could make it even better. She didn’t move as I let one of her hands go and worked my shorts open. I pulled her boxers down a little more, then moved back into place with my dick laying on her naked butt. I noticed quickly that the feel of skin on skin was much, much better. I moved my hips a little so that my cock rubbed slowly back and forth on the crack of her ass. I didn’t know if this was what actual sex was like, but it felt awesome.
I got so lost in the sensations of pushing against her butt that I didn’t realize I was about to cum until it was already happening. I couldn’t move, or even think as my stuff started launching out all over her back. I’d played with myself plenty of times, but this was the most intense cum I’d ever had. I moved off of her when it finally stopped, suddenly feeling ashamed of myself. Cassie’s back and shoulders were streaked and messy with my sperm. Not seeing anything else to clean up with, I used my shorts to mop it up. She was still laying there quietly like she had been the whole time. The only way I knew she was even alive was from her steady breathing.
I sat back on the bed, unable to keep from staring at her butt. There was just something about the curves of her hips and ass that was really hot. If I hadn’t already known she was ‘different,’ there would have been no way to tell from this angle. Acting on a sudden urge, I reached over and gently squeezed her ass with both hands. I kinda expected her to yell at me, but all I heard was something that sounded like a quiet moan. Wondering how far she would let me explore, I slowly pushed her cheeks apart until I could see her little pink butthole. It looked clean and was glistening slightly with sweat. Feeling strangely drawn to it, I moved my hand down and rubbed it lightly with my thumb. She gasped and I felt her jump a little, but she didn’t say anything or push me away. I rubbed it again, then took my hand away and stood up. Maybe she liked me touching her butt, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do down there.
Cassie rolled over on her back and looked at me. Her dick was very stiff and lying back against her stomach, the tip all shiny and wet-looking. I could see the shapes of her nipples poking against her bra. She just laid there watching me as I sat down next to her and put my hand around her cock.
I started moving my hand slowly up and down, noticing how soft the skin felt despite how stiff it was. Even her dick seemed girly. I was thinking about sucking it a little when she suddenly moaned and raised her hips. I instinctively pumped a little harder as I saw a thick white jet of cum shoot out over my hand and land on her stomach. She kept flexing her hips as a few more spurts came out, then she fell limp with a long sigh. The sight of her cumming had made my own cock fully hard again. She saw it sticking up as I stood to wipe off my hand and her stomach. She groaned and rolled her eyes.
“Go to bed, Knob,” she said, tugging her boxers back up. “Just remember that I owe you a beating.” She grinned evilly and I made a hasty exit before she decided to make good on it.
Things were quiet for a few days. It was obvious to me that I was getting more and more attracted to my own sister, and it was just as obvious that it didn’t bother me much. I knew it was wrong but it didn’t feel like what we did was hurting anybody. Anyway, thinking about it too much just gave me a headache, so I stopped worrying. I did know that the idea of playing with another guy’s dick still grossed me out. With Cassie it was different.
One afternoon we were doing chores. I’d felt hyperactive all day, and when I saw Cassie leaning over in the kitchen to get something from under the sink I couldn’t resist the urge to snap her with a damp rag. Her ass was just too tempting a target. The cloth impacted against her butt with a startlingly loud crack, and she yelped and spun around with murder in her eyes. I ran, laughing like a maniac the whole time.
She cornered me in the living room before I could make the stairs. I tried to fake her out and jump past, but she caught me and tackled me down onto the couch.
I did my best to escape, but her wet hands gave her an unfair advantage when grabbing my clothes. They also hurt when she pinned me face down with her knees in my back and started spanking me hard on the butt.
“If you’re gonna act like a brat, you’re gonna get treated like one,” she said, her voice sounding stern though I was sure that she had a huge grin on her face. It wasn’t really a typical spanking either. She rested her hand on my butt for a little while in between smacks, sometimes even squeezing it a bit. It was embarrasing and the spanking part hurt, but the more gentle stuff felt kinda good. After a few minutes she suddenly reached underneath me and put her hand on my crotch like she was checking to see if I was hard. And if course, I was.
“Perv.” She gave me another hard whack on the ass, then let me up and went back to the kitchen. I followed slowly, my rear end smarting and my dick hard as a rock. I watched Cassie’s butt as she walked, suddenly feeling more horny than I ever had in my life. She went back to the sink and a few seconds later I moved up from behind and grabbed her, my dick pressing against her ass. Even though I hadn’t planned it that way, my hands ended up right on her boobs. They felt warm and heavy and really nice in my palms.
“Stop it.” Cassie pulled my hands off her chest and wriggled away toward the counter.
I was way too turned on to listen. I caught her and put my hands back on her tits, squeezing them a little as I started rubbing against her like I’d done on her bed. I felt like I was going to cum even with our clothes still on. I kept expecting her to stop me again, but she didn’t. She just leaned forward, putting her hands on the counter as I played with her boobs and slowly humped her butt. After only a few minutes I started to cum, feeling a rush of sticky heat fill my underwear. I rested up against her for a bit, feeling her boobs moving slowly up and down in my hands as she breathed. It felt really neat.
Suddenly she turned around and pushed me down on my knees. I watched as she quickly undid her pants, her stiff cock falling out almost right away. I didn’t hesitate. I started sucking it as hard as I could, hearing Cassie groan softly as she flexed her hips toward my mouth. I reached around and started feeling her butt as I sucked on as much of her dick as I could. The look on her face told me that she was really enjoying it, and I started to wonder what having my own sucked would feel like. She put her hand on my head and ran her fingers roughly through my hair, then a few seconds later her cock got even harder and started squirting in my mouth. It didn’t taste as gross as I remembered, and I decided to swallow it and see what would happen. It didn’t kill me. Cassie moaned and leaned back against the countertop, and I kept sucking her gently until she pushed me away. She gave me a weird little smile as I stood up, then smacked me again on the butt.
“Okay,” she said, suddenly looking serious again. “Stop fucking around and finish your chores.”