/prog/ KOPIPE THREAD

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
  THE FORCED INDENTATION OF THE CODE
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OTHER CAR I GUESS ?
ITS A CDR
AND IS PRONOUNCED ``CUDDER''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS /prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE READ SICP
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO
TOO BAD RUBY ON RAILS IS SLOW AS FUCK
BBCODE AND ((SCHEME)) ARE THE ULTIMATE LANGUAGES
ALSO
WELCOME TO /prog/
EVERY THREAD WILL BE REPLIED TO
NO EXCEPTION

F you, that's my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an 80,000 dollar BMW. That's my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you f-in' fargots.

ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are 'cause it's f or walk. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision. Have you made your decision for Christ? And action. AIDA. Get out there. You got the prospects coming in, you think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?

What's the problem, pal?

I'm taking child development classes and because the course assumes that everyone taking the CD classes works in childcare, I'm supposed to observe infants and toddlers so I can record some things regarding their behavior. Since I'm posting on 4chan, it should be clear that I do not and should not work in childcare, and thus don't and shouldn't have access to a child care center to do these observations.

However, I can observe via online webcams. I know you guys love watching public Japanese webcam feeds, so I'm hoping someone can post the list of active feeds.

hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

so i was 15 at the time, visiting my dying grandother. she was very close to death and i was told that this would probably be the last time i saw her. i had a pretty good little visit at the hospital other than this old cunt near hear hooked up to a ventilator, choking coughing and the like.this didnt bother grandma, as she was deaf and we signed to each other. grandma fell asleep, and i still had 15 minutes before the nurses came to end visitation. i looked at this ragged old bitch that ruined my last visit with grandma. i locked the door, shut the curtain between this bitch and grama, ripped the help button off her bed flipped her over and raped her in the ass as hard as i could. she begged and pleaded, but i didnt care, as i finished her ass came loose and i pulled out glorious pink sock. i punched her in the back of the head and as i was leaving, i could hear the pleasant gurgling of blood in her breathing tube.

one time I got these bertie botts every flavor jelly beans like from harry potter
and I caught my two year old brother eating them
and I got all pissy about it and snatched them away
anyway a few weeks later after I had slowly eaten all the fairly good jelly beans
all that was left were the booger, vomit, grass, poop flavored ones and I called to my brother:
"hey wade come here!"
"you want the rest of my jelly beans? I don't want them anymore. They're ALLLLL for you little buddy!"
and he ate every.single.fucking.one. with the biggest little smile on his face.

I feel so bad to this day I could kill myself

Wapanese are generally though of as “failures” and rejects within their own culture. Social scientists such as myself speculate that it was their failure to gain acceptance within their own culture than has lead many a white geek to seek out Japan’s culture as a surrogate; however, they’d be shattered to know that the insular and somewhat racist Japanese society would be even less accepting of them than the people of their true and native culture.

Thought I'd share it... It's not much, but yeah...

 When I was {EXCELSIOR}, and I kinda-sorta knew I was a pedophile, I didn't have a little sister to really express it with. I did have two cats, and they were fine too, but didn't really interest me. Anyway, I would go over to my neighbor's yard, in a semi-secluded area, and make out with their retarded daughter. (I'd make damn sure nobody was looking, of course.) Anyway, so that happened for a while, and I eventually found out that the girl, a 9 year old with Down Syndrome named Annabelle, would blow me if I presented my PENIS to her. So that went on for a while, me doing that and/or making out with her, and one night when I had enough time to do so, I went over to Annabelle, who greeted me eagerly with loud retard wailing, and began making out with her. Then, I laid down on the ground and pulled down my pants, revealing my erect PENIS to her. She started licking it, and I was practically to Cloud 9. I then moved my head over to her back half, and somewhat hesitant to lick her VAGINA, I licked the area where there's little fecal matter and exposed flesh. Somehow, it got to the point where I was on top, and she was still licking me, and I licking her. Then, somehow, she took all of my erection down her throat, and I was just... dazed from the pleasure... I can't even describe how awesome that felt. But if I try, it's basically an insanely good feeling of her tongue going all over my balls. Anyway, so that went on for a few minutes, and then I could feel myself orgasming in her mouth. I looked back, saw part of my head poke from between her lips, and saw sperm on it. I kinda got shocked, and then scared because I remembered that her father is an ex-Green Berret member, and I'd be screwed over if I was caught... so I quickly got up, pulled up my pants, thanked Annabelle for the pleasure, and ran for it.

 Yeah, that's it... not much, but the first sexual experience with a loli I've had.

Well, I have to admit that this comic does indeed make me smile a bit. That is probably because I know why the human in this particular comic puts them in the micro.
It's because of the Yukkuris earlier display of despicable actions/emotions such as greed, arrogance, lack of respect for authority, selfishness, ungratefulness and so on. I might even go as far as to say that the reason I smile when they get punished for showing these emotions and/or conducting such actions is that most of the time in our real world people who act like this never get what they deserve and in many instances even get praised for it one way or another. So one might say that reading this is like blowing off steam.

Well, I have to admit that this comic does indeed make me smile a bit. That is probably because I know why the human in this particular comic puts them in the micro.
It's because of the Yukkuris earlier display of despicable actions/emotions such as greed, arrogance, lack of respect for authority, selfishness, ungratefulness and so on. I might even go as far as to say that the reason I smile when they get punished for showing these emotions and/or conducting such actions is that most of the time in our real world people who act like this never get what they deserve and in many instances even get praised for it one way or another. So one might say that reading this is like blowing off steam.

  I don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn't do that kind of business. Somebody comes to them and says, "I have powders; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment, we can make fifty thousand distributing." So they can't resist. I want to control it as a business, to keep it respectable. [slams his hand on the table and shouts] I don't want it near schools! I don't want it sold to children! That's an infamia. In my city, we would keep the traffic in the dark people, the coloreds. They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.

I live in Japan, and it fucking sucks. I made a thread about this a lonnnng time ago, but this bears repeating.

1. Anime and manga are more expensive in Japan. The prices are ridiculous, and it's hard for me to justify buying anime even though I feel it's important for fans to make an effort to support the industry.

2. If you are a girl, you will be groped and treated like shit. I have had men grab my ass in public *7* different times in the past year and a half. My Japanese friends say that women should just grit their teeth and bear it, since if you try to do something about it you will be publicly shamed. I also feel dirty and pathetic when these incidents occur.

3. Office culture in Japan is...intense. You are expected to show up at social gatherings even if you do not want to. And at these social gatherings people have the EXACT SAME CONVERSATIONS AGAIN AND AGAIN. I've had like 50 conversations on the power of beer to refresh you after a day's work. You have to say "good morning" every day in a very specific way, and if you don't then someone will approach you and tell you that's not how things are done at company XYZ.

4. The people treat gaijin like shit. Even the ones who try to be nice come across as condescending and rude by American standards. There are also a large number of Japanese men who think gaijin women are sluts and that they can get you to open your legs at the drop of a hat. Fuckers.

For 10 years now I've been living with a secret (or more accurately, a lie) and I've decided this situation cannot continue. I am forced to deny an integral part of myself to friends and family, if it was widely known, I would be unemployable, most women would turn away in disgust at the thought of romance, I would be unable to see many of my relatives and also be perpetually vulnerable to physical assault. I am a girl-lover - what you would call a pedophile. I am sexually attracted to girls from 5 years old (occasionally as young as 3), with the ages of about 8-9 being preferred. For what it's worth, I am attracted to adult women also. I refuse to cope with the secrets and lies that this aspect of my life requires; together with a desire to do some good for those in my situation I have made a plan for ACTION - I have identified a list of people who represent the clearest danger to child-lovers this nation; they are members of the judiciary, individual "vigilantes", particular journalists et cetera. All of the names on this list have caused terrible harm to "my people". They are the targets, I have weapons and the skill and the will to use them. I go forward with this work in the hope that others will follow - may our enemies soon know fear to moderate their hate, I do not hope to survive long once embarking on this path but do not pity me - making this decision has given me hope and purpose that a hidden life would never have provided. Farewell, and when you learn of my fate do not mourn me but rather celebrate what I am about to do.

Rozen Maiden has ruined my life, like it has done to so many others.

Less than a week ago, I thought the premise of the show was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Suiseiseki was just a meme, and I didn't even know any other characters. But then I watched the first episode. And then the second. And couldn't stop until I was done with Traumend. That was four days ago. By then, I was hopelessly entangled. I was in love with the show and the dolls. I started daydreaming that I was a member of the show's cast, or that I had a Rozen Maiden of my own. I suddenly had a craving for tea, so I went out and bought some, and it's all I've been drinking these past few days. And then it got even worse. Two days ago, I watched Overture. Now, I'm hopelessly in love with Suigintou. All I want from life is to be able to hold Suigintou and be able to cheer her up, make her happy again, so I can see her smile again. I fantasize about her becoming human, so I can go out with her, make sweet, sweet, love to her, and marry her and have a happy life with my dear Suigintou. The show's given me other side effects, too, which keep getting worse. Whenever I see porn or hentai now, all I can think is "no dolljoints, not hot." All I can fap to is Suigintou doujins. I see Shinku's face and get in a bloodcurdling rage like I've never felt before. She made my Suigintou cry! I've stopped caring about my car, which for years was everything to me. I've stopped caring about what I eat, except for a craving for Flowery Hamburger. I don't care about any other anime, manga, or any video games. My only realistic desire right now is for an accurate Suigintou doll that I can cuddle while I sleep. I get jealous when I see anyone talk about her or post her picture, and pissed off when I hear the word junk.

Come to me, Suigintou! I'll love you, let me make you happy! You're not junk, let me give you my devotion and love and you'll see that you don't need to be so sad!

I'm crying as I type this.

My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me

The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on

so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)

so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot

BAM! TO BEHOLD, A PUBLIC BULLETIN BOARD, BUILT OF BOTH BRILLIANCE AND BARBARITY BY BASTARDS WITH BONERS. THIS BASTION, NO MERE BULWARK OF BOREDOM, IS A BRUTAL BARRAGE OF BLISTERING BULLSHIT, BARELY BENEVOLENT... BUT BEHIND THE BIGOTRY AND BOOBS, BEYOND THE BITTER BROADCASTS OF BRAGGING BUFFOONS: HERE BE THE BODY POLITIC. A BROTHERHOOD OF BLASPHEMY, BLESSED WITH MORE BALLS THAN BRAINS, BATTLING THE BLAND, THE BOGUS, THE BENIGN. BEDLAM? BRING IT ON. BUT I BABBLE... BETTER TO BE BRIEF. YOU MAY CALL ME /B/.

Because JPEGs are more heavily compressed than other image formats, their information is more volatile and likely to expand at high speed through an unchecked buffer, poorly allocated resource or any other available system space. I'd guess you're probably losing image data through one of these means.

You see, when you load a JPEG into memory, the EXtra colour Information Format (EXIF) header is loaded into RAM in order to prepare the video prebuffer for the incoming high-speed flow of colour information from the uncorked JPEG. If your bus isn't ready for this information, the rapidly decompressing file information can flow through other parts of your system.

Ordinarily this isn't a problem: as a matter of fact, JPEG was designed for this sort of thing. Older computers couldn't handle the explosive power behind the fledgeling image decompression algorithm, so rather than fight it, image experts invented the Jampacked Picture Extraction and Gathering (JPEG) protocol. They cleverly decided to allow the image data to spray wherever it would, knowing that after the extraction phase would send raw data all over the inside of the computer, the gathering phase would locate it all and reassemble it into an image. With the advent of faster computers the delay between spray and collection is so small as to be unnoticeable, while newer and bigger video cards are more capable of withstanding the onslaught of colours.

Still, the primary weakness of this algorithm is the haphazard placement of decompressed data. There's just too much of it to channel through normal means, so any loss of data containment results in corrupted images. In your case, it would appear that you're losing image data through the empty hole where your goddamned shift key should be.

Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and Hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I`m not attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won`t like it but If I see hentai I`m all in for it. Since I`m a christian I`m wondering if God made me this way for punishment or something, I don`t blame him at all. He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or hide this secret from them? I`m looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra and panties and I`m hard as heck! But is this a sin?

Yeah, and thats great and all, but how about we spend more of our public resources on fixing earth rather than useless trivia like this. Like, I don't know, reversing the government spending trend. If this data (and I call it data, because it isn't useful enough to be called knowledge), were good for anything, then why doesn't the private industry seem interested in it. This type of research is just welfare for otherwise bright individuals who decided to get an ivory tower education so they could spend their lives on meaningless pursuits.

  Long story short.. I am 19, she is 13. There is nothing malicious about our relationship, we are both attracted to each other and I don't intend to take advantage or have sex with her.

 What will other people think if we have an open relationship? Especially since she's my friend's sister and I know their parents and they know everyone I know etc.. How should we go about our relationship? If I took her and her friends out frequently and to dinner for 2 what would people think?

 Discuss.

  In chemistry class I was talking to my friend, Jack, about a gay pride festival I went to. My teacher, stupid nosy bitch, decides she wants to join in on the conversation. She asks me what I’m talking about so I turned around and her reaction was to make a noise of utter disgust. She asked me to go to the main office and get a different shirt. But being the rebel that I am, I told her very politely “no, if you don’t like it you don’t have to look at it. It’s my shirt, not yours, and there’s nothing wring with it.” She told me again that I needed to change my shirt. I said again that I wasn’t and she told me she would have to send me to my administrator for direct disrespect. So I put on a big smile and packed my stuff up while she wrote the discipline report up.

 But the thing that made me so happy that I didn’t give in and change was that as I was walking out the door a girl in my class stood up and started to walk with me. My teacher was kinda pissed and told her that she would get a write up if she didn’t sit down. And this girl, she is my fucking hero. She says: “Write me up then. It’s one more story that I can go home and tell my mothers. And I’m sure my girlfriend would love to hear it, too.” Then she smiled and walked out. I just felt the need to share what happened today

OK so I cheated on my boyfriend (not totally my fault, I was drunk and he came on to me). My boyfriend found out and got SO pissed, I explained to him the situation but he got aggressive so I slapped him a few times and threw over his TV (to show him I wouldn't bullied. The next thing I know, he GRABS ME and PUSHED ME OUT THE DOOR!!! I called the police, but they said they couldn't do anything due to lack of evidence. I guess this is a victory for misogynists everywhere.

LOL u wish u were HARDCORE like OP
pic related
OP is so bad ASS that he once crushed a kittens head for no reason
lol

ＬＯＬ

he is SO COOL that he stole from walmart

WALMART!

pussies better show some respect

it's the boy who cried wolf syndrome: conspiracy theory is such a favorite currency of the low iq and not quite mentally sound crowd, that if an actual real conspiracy theory happens, no one will believe it

the effect of all the low iq and mentally deficient wack jobs constantly running around and crying wolf on conspiracies is to basically ensure that any rational and realistic consideration of an actual conspiracy theory is discounted up front

all those constantly babbling about conspiracy theories actually help conspiracy theories succeed, because they hide the tiny signals in a fountain of noise

i frequently laugh at and pour derision on conspiracy theory crack pots. however, i readily admit conspiracy theories are real. its just that they are exceedingly rare because they are so hard to pull off in airtight secrecy. but the dumber you are or the more mentally deranged you are, the more they seem likely, because your fear/ paranoia/ schizophrenia or dim perceptive abilities are unable to see just how incredibly hard an actual conspiracy theory is to actually pull off. how many ways it can fail, and continue to fail, long after the fact. how long has it been from the kennedy assassination. no one, NO ONE, the vast conspiracy has issued a peep about it, even accidentally? no one is still interested? come on! a lone asshole shot kennedy, not some mafia/ cia/ cuban/ whatever plot. occam's razor, my deluded friends, occam's razor

but conspiracy theories do have value in this world: entertainment. they are a frequent part of hollywood movies, because, like alien invasions or superheroes, they tickle our fancy. even though we know such things are impossible (well, those of us who are mentally sound realize superheros, aliens, and overarching vast conspiracies by secret black ops agencies are impossible)

please note conspiracy theory proponents: all the noise you dingbats constantly make about conspiracy theories, help to hide the actual real rare ones. not that that fact is going to change your behavior. because you're stupid and/ or deranged. but carry on, i need to laugh. yes, i know: the chemtrails from the government airplanes and the fluoridated water has completely turned me into a sheep. (giggle)

              Chocolate Rain
             Some stay dry and others feel the pain
             Chocolate Rain
             A baby born will die before the sin

             Chocolate Rain
             The school books say it can't be here again
             Chocolate Rain
             The prisons make you wonder where it went

             Chocolate Rain
             Build a tent and say the world is dry
             Chocolate Rain
             Zoom the camera out and see the lie

             Chocolate Rain
             Forecast to be falling yesterday
             Chocolate Rain
             Only in the past is what they say

             Chocolate Rain
             Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
             Chocolate Rain
             Makes us happy 'livin in a gate

             Chocolate Rain
             Made me cross the street the other day
             Chocolate Rain
             Made you turn your head the other way

             (Chorus)
             Chocolate Rain
             History quickly crashing through your veins
             Chocolate Rain
             Using you to fall back down again
             [Repeat]

             Chocolate Rain
             Seldom mentioned on the radio
             Chocolate Rain
             Its the fear your leaders call control

             Chocolate Rain
             Worse than swearing worse than calling names
             Chocolate Rain
             Say it publicly and you're insane

             Chocolate Rain
             No one wants to hear about it now
             Chocolate Rain
             Wish real hard it goes away somehow

             Chocolate Rain
             Makes the best of friends begin to fight
             Chocolate Rain
             But did they know each other in the light?

             Chocolate Rain
             Every February washed away
             Chocolate Rain
             Stays behind as colors celebrate

             Chocolate Rain
             The same crime has a higher price to pay
             chocolate Rain
             The judge and jury swear it's not the face

             (Chorus)

             Chocolate Rain
             Dirty secrets of economy
             Chocolate Rain
             Turns that body into GDP

             Chocolate Rain
             The bell curve blames the baby's DNA
             Chocolate Rain
             But test scores are how much the parents make

             Chocolate Rain
             'Flippin cars in France the other night
             Chocolate Rain
             Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai

             Chocolate Rain
             'Cross the world and back its all the same
             Chocolate Rain
             Angels cry and shake their heads in shame

             Chocolate Rain
             Lifts the ark of paradise in sin
             Chocolate Rain
             Which part do you think you're 'livin in?

             Chocolate Rain
             More than 'marchin more than passing law
             Chocolate Rain
             Remake how we got to where we are

Look, you've already lost, there is no point in even trying at this point. I realized that you are a weeaboo and want to try your hand in all the "saving face" stuff you read in that Michael Crichton book, but everyone has already seen you humiliate yourself. There is no going back from that. Your best bet is to just leave 4chan for a while and hope that people forget. Sorry kid, that's the facts of life. Better just cut your loses now.

I've heard a lot of talk here which is anti-Christ and anti-Gospel. First of all, the Gospel is Jesus's word, no exceptions. Secondly, I'm not the member of some kind of cult, I'm an evangelical Christian. We have churches across the country which have no central affiliation. That does not make us a cult.

I am not ugly in the eyes of the lord. i have a boyfriend who will uplift, encourage, love, respect, guide, and be chivalrous. i have a boyfriend who will link arms with me and who will wait to kiss me until i tell him that i'm ready to do so. i have a boyfriend who will keep his commitments, be a man and be on time for things. i have a boyfriend who loves God more than he loves me and his momma combined. i have a boyfriend who's goal is to not sleep with me but to remain pure with his future wife in mind (whether i'm meant to be his future wife or not). and i have a boyfriend who made these "i wants" into "i haves".

Our church has addressed the issue of 4chan.org and whether the Internet should be censored. How you treat me in this thread will directly influence the evangelical movement's position on the issue of Internet censorship. So choose your words wisely. Also, my mother is monitoring this thread along with me on her laptop.

Let's be honest for a moment: real-life is definetly overrated. 99% of the people out there are constantly trying their hardest to socialize and fit into societies self-proclaimed "standarts". Many of them are failing along the road and even if they actual succeed in getting a good job, a non-cheating wife and a nice home, there's no guarantee that you'll end up happy after achieving those goals. You work your ass off for other people and end up having regrets about how you wasted your life with work and shit, but secretly you just wanted to lurk and have fun on 4chan. Then your wife discovers your hidden loli fetish and demands divorcement, takes all your money, the house and your kids and you'll sit on the street trying to kill yourself, because you didn't realize how good your NEET-life was when you still were young. ;__;

So I see you faggots like to copy my style with all this "bausse, fr@t, B@NK" shit...Listen, trying to be RAMIRO aint gonna make you RAMIRO. You're either born looking like a greek god, or, in your case, you aint.

Now lemme tell you bout this CA$H shit the other night. Me and my boys went and popped bottles in some redneck ass club, i think it was called "8 seconds". After downing about 12 Jager Bombs and a bottle of Hipnotiq (yeah u all wish u could stunt like a real boss) I had to take a piss. As i walk into the men's room, some hot slut follows me in and starts asking me what my name is. I'm like "Look bitch, first of all its Ramiro, second of all I ain't tryin to talk with you unless u jock this dick right now." Needless to say, she immediately pulls me into a stall. Did that bitch give ya boy some fire dome ? You know she did, it was clutch.

So eventually I finish up, and go to walk out and this skinny little chump walks in. He sees the girl stumble out of the stall and starts buggin out. Apparently I just had my way with this punk's girlfriend. he ask me who I am and I tell him. Then he goes "Wait, r u that faggot talking shit about my fraternity on Juicy Campus," to which I reply "Yes I am, now u better bounce cuz I'm about to call my boys in here so they can run a train on your bitch you little SAE faggot."

The next thing I know, this kid takes the most pathetic swing ever at my face. I catch him with an uppercut and he's out cold, face down, on the deck. The funniest part was he was wearing a shirt with some homo ass fish painted on the back... Oh well, I guess we can't all afford Ed Hardy.

After my boys dogged that hoe out, I hit up like 3 more clubs and grinded on just about every hot piece of ass in jersey. The moral of the story: Hate on Ramiro to his face and u will get your shit rocked, and possibly your girlfriend fucked by 5 guys in a bathroom stall.

On the grind.
Ramiro the Champ

Today, I woke up to water dripping on my head. I tried to curl up on the love seat I've been sleeping on and go back to sleep where the water wouldn't drip on me, but the sound of the drip kept getting to me. That and my pillow seemed a bit damp. So I crawled off the couch and wandered over to the computer my friend is letting me use while I'm here. Won't be here too much longer though, so better get all the internet in while I can. My friend's mother told me if I don't have a job soon I have to get out. I'll be going to live with my mom out in the styx where there's no internet. Not even dialup. My mom's car is broken too, so I won't be able to go to the library either.

Masturbated to Loli and played some video games. I'd watch some anime but I'm saving that for when I have to go back to my mom's house. Luckily at least I have an external hard drive and a laptop that still works, even if it is really old.

Friend got home from his work, and gave me a cheeseburger. I'm hungry all the time now, since I won't eat more than I have to eat to stay alive. Thankfully I do have a rice cooker and a bag of rice, but plain rice gets pretty unappetizing after so many days of it.

We played some games, watched a movie. I just walked to the grocery store to buy a couple 2-liters. Spent the last $1.50 I had left out of the $20 my mom gave me on the 1st of the month.

Walking to the grocery store is the worst thing. I have nothing to occupy my mind, and only Miku to keep me company. Not all of her songs are very happy, let me tell you. I thought about the idea of having a waifu to keep me company, but I don't think it will work out for me. I also give thought to suicide. Pops into mind every few hours or so really, but thats when I have nothing to keep me busy.

Home from the store, and now here I am, typing this to you.

Look at you freaks. All you do is sit on the computer and get mad when I spam your shitty imageboard. If I ever met one of you in real life I would beat the fuck out of you just to teach you a lesson about how you are wasting your already pathetic life. I get so much pussy. I am having a threesome in the shower right now on my waterproof laptop which I made myself.

Me and my boys caught some kid at school with a 4chan lunchbox, we beat the fuck out of him with our huge muscles. I then smashed the lunchbox and pissed on the ashes. I was doing him a favour, he was wasting his life, he will thank me one day. You are all such ugly little nerds. I once fucked a girl so hard that she died. None of you losers will ever accomplish anything like this because you are at home everyday playing video games and fapping.

Oh and in case any of you faggots didn't know, my dad is an FBI commander and my mum is a CIA commander. They let me get away with anything so don't bother trying to report me. My dad even said that if I behave well he will shut down 4chan for me on my next birthday.

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I was laid off last Friday for "not being a team player" by the owner's son. So I bought 3 bottle of vanilla vodka and went on a liqour and CP binge for the rest of the night. Both of which I had been clean from for over a year.

Well, instead of properly turning off my computer, in my drunken state, I just turned the monitor off and passed out. Next morning, my roommate decided to break into my room and use my computer and turned it on to be greeted by CP. Or maybe something else happened, I don't know, but he definately found some.

So he decided to blackmail me in exchange of not calling the cops. I give him ~9500$, my complete life savings, and.... and he reports me anyway.

Oddly though, it wasn't the SWAT team raid that I would have expected, just two detectives that came with a warrant and took my shit and told me to not leave the state. There was also evident animosity, it was really professional, even though I was completely shitting myself.

Then my roommate apparently told the landlord, because the locks are changed and I was evicted. I told the landlord that that wasn't right, but she called me a sick fuck and dared me to challenge it in court.

So I've lost my job, my dignity, my life savings, my home, and soon, my freedom. Is there any reason why I should go on living? There is no possible way that this could ever get better. Can some one please give me a reason to not an hero?

  Ok theres been a lotta talk now its time for action! Its the job of 4chan to make the initial strike, weakening gaia for the upcoming mega raid from 7chan, being planned right now on temporary forums.

 The strike date for the 4chan raid is TOMMORROW NIGHT, Wed. Sept. 27 at 10:00 Eastern, 9 central, 8 mountain and 7 pacific. BUT the entire day we're gonna mess with the prommies, putting crap on their profiles and sending them pms. Then when the time comes for the official raid we begin with the GD. I say we all make several accounts so get your fake emails ready since you gotta have a seperate email for each account. You can usually have mulitple accounts logged in through different windows too. So we get our spam threads ready and waiting and at the hour.....BANG. After we get the gd full of crap we head to the ED and community discucussion. We keep it going all night until we get tired. Who's with me? A list of the so called prommies is coming in my next post.

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if you can help. I have a slightly damaged textbook and am wondering if it would be OK to sell through Amazon's excellent textbook buyback scheme. The story is this: I was sitting in a bus station quietly reading, when the whole place filled up with a large group of very noisy exchange students of various nationalities. They were all wonderful people, but they were also annoying me, and from their very noisy chatter I could tell that they had the same destination as me. I saw that there was another bus with destination Death Valley, so I nudged one of them with my book, nodded my head towards the other bus, and said, "I think you'd better hurry, as your bus is about to leave."

"That not my bus," replied the exchange student.

"Oh yes it is, and you need to hurry. And don't forget to tell all your friends that they need to hurry too."

Well, to cut a long story short, I persuaded them, but in the process one corner of the book got slightly dented. I also accidentally dropped the book while it was open, which got dirt on a couple of the pages. It's otherwise in good condition and is legible throughout. I'd be very grateful for any advice. Does anyone else have experience of books that have been used for nudging?

Edit: In view of the considerable negative reaction to this post, I feel obliged to offer a small apology. Such humour as there is in the post (and it's not meant to be side-splittingly funny or anything) derives from its similarity to a much funnier post, not by me, that led to a long thread that was pulled in its entirety by Amazon. I cannot risk saying more about that post in case this one too gets pulled. The main point I'm making is that if you didn't get to read the original post then this one will indeed seem pretty lame, and I'm sorry that there's not much I can do about it.

hello my fellow fags! lol.

i'm trying to start a local anonymous chapter at reed college. i know about rules 1 and 2 so i'm not sure how i should advertise or recruit members.

how did you join anonymous? any tips for getting newfags who understand the real goal to join up?

Every girl I've been with either cheats on me, leads me on, lies, is apathetic, petty, etc. (Usually a combination of a few of those, or all of them.)
I've never had a real relationship last more than a couple weeks and I've been in quite a few relationships. It's kind of a waste to be honest, I know I'm a great guy all around, including looks and personality, but I've just had the worst luck dating superficial people. And as you can probably tell, it's getting to me. My last one lead me on to believe she wasn't like the others. Long story short: What does she do? She sleeps at some guys place that she used to date and she dumped me after the fact because I showed some concern. She didn't go with that guy, but she thought it was strange how I cared about it. She knew what we were and what kind of a connection we had, she was pretty much obsessed with me, but she didn't give a fuck anymore. She lead me on because she later said to me that she prefers guys with muscles. Yeah. Chicks are just as bad as guys when it comes to superficiality. Anyone who believes otherwise is denying it or doesn't know shit. So it's a waste I think, I don't believe I'll ever date again after this one, as I've found that it is impossible to find a decent heart out there with decent looks (I DO enjoy teh sex, I can't deny that, but some people take it so fucking far gone to find hollywood stars. It's disgusting.)

TL;DR
What the FUCK am I doing wrong to let every single one of my relationships get fucked. Is it a run of bad luck? Are most chicks out there just ill? What else could it be? Am I just fucking cursed?

ITT: Bitches and whores. Success stories would be a nice change, unless you and your partner are extremely superficial.

Femanon here.

I'll get straight to the point: I wanna have two cocks inside me at the same time. The problem is that I don't really like the idea of being sexual with two men at once. The only solution I can think of is to find a guy with two cocks and fuck him.

I realize that the odds are against this, but has anyone here ever done anything like this? I mean how do you even go about finding a dude with two dicks?

Well, I've kind of tried to distance the two things, but certainly it doesn't *have to* lead to sex for her, but it does turn her on.

Baby talking her turns her on, condescending to her turns her on, scolding her turns her on.

To give an example, you know those toy train and castle plate sets they sell on vat19.com? I'm planning to order one for her to eat lunch out of because the idea of eating out of it like she's little really excites her. And she likes baking tiny cakes in an easy bake oven, and cooking in general, and she wants me to build her a big playpen. She likes the idea of being little.

I'd be kind of a hypocrite to complain about most of that stuff seeing as I still collect video games and have a display case full of action figures, but mostly I just think it's cute, I just get a little weirded out if we're cuddling, and we start kissing, and she stops to remind me "I'm this many!" holding out four fingers.

Like, I was really horny last night when we were getting into it, and she was in full on baby mode, and I started towards it discussing show and tell, and how big people show their privates and such, but pretty much immediately I felt unbelievably weird and creepy about it, and I just kept my pants on and went back to cuddling.

I think /sp/ is my most hated fucking board in the fucking world.

You've got Costanza, the worst fucking meme in online fucking image boards. What a fucking faggot. I knew he was a tosser the moment he started talking about putting ketchup in the fridge, but no "OH HURR DURR WE LOVE OFF-TOPIC POSTING SO EDGY AND MODERN". And then he said don't put your ketchup in the fridge, and everyone was still like "OH HURR DURR THIS IS THE BEST MEME EVER". Only when people started adding "l seriously hope you don't do this" at the end of his posts did everyone even vaguely start to come around, and even then, the Summerfags of /sp/ were still all "oh, at least lspl has one cool meme." Well fuck all of you you morons. He's overrated as a meme and as a sitcom character.

Then fucking 'Why?". People hacking olf over this shit because it had a decent run. WELL HERE'S SOME NEWS FOR YOU FAGGOTS, KORNHEISER IS SHIT AS A SPORTS PUNDIT, HE DOES NOTHING EVEN VAGUELY GOOD, AND NOW HE'S RIDING HIS 500 SHlTl'Y REACTION IMAGES. I pity any message board that gets that slapheaded piece of shit.

Then what else do you have? Amerifat vs Yuropoor threads? Power rankings? MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI? Posts that are vaguely interesting for about five seconds and people actually think it's an achievement? Well fuck me sideways.

Fuck you /sp/. You rode your way through the best season of sport ever, had some of the most lenient modding in the modern history of 4Chan, and still you're a bunch of cunts. You are nothing, and I give you a very short amount of time before you faggots fade back into being thought of as being as dreadful as /ck/, it's your rightful place.

Go to hell you sports fans.

I think I raped my girlfriend last night.

We haven't had vaginal/anal sex yet. We've done plenty of oral and mutual masturbation, but she's too afraid of being penetrated. She doesn't finger herself and won't use tampons. I think she was raped as a kid and just doesn't remember, but she says she wasn't.

Anyways, I crushed up a 2mg Xanax and put it in a hot cup of tea. She drank it and got all loopy. I got to finger her after half an hour of kissing, and then while she was all loopy I fucked her.

Now she thinks the haze was just from losing her virgininity, but I feel insanely guilty. Is it rape if she's proud of herself for facing fears of penetration even if I doped her?