The original thread ( http://dis.4chan.org/read/games/1284263751/1-40 ) will soon inevitably reach 999 replies and be thread-stopped, so before this happens I'm taking the initiative to make another thread for this topic, so that people know where to continue the neverending rage (should they feel that a thread with 999 replies in it is not enough).
well damnit. Anyways bros, playing me some of this Minecraft earlier, and thoughts came up to an old time when I was a member on MC forums (before getting the ban-hammer for the last time, which is quite easy), and there was a thread about people whining about the difficulty of Minecraft.
Pretty rage inducing thread, not as rage inducing as most of the shit you see on there much more recently, but anyways - people complaining how the Combat is too hard, skeletons were the most difficult mob they had ever seen in they're lifetime, creepers are griefers, you know shit like that.
Anyways, my point is...fucking Minecraft Forums, is the place where all the sewage of the internet ends up. Quite literally filled to the brim and beyond of piss, feces, vomit, hell you name it, it's there (metaphorically, you kknow).
Thought I'd share it with you all.
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Anonymous2011-11-17 10:04
Nowadays, I just read the RC bug section for laughs:
"Passive mobs panic when set on fire [...]"
Yeah, I know! I set my cat on fire once, and it PANICED! Animals sure are stupid.
"Minecraft will randomly crash whenever any sort of entity is on the center of the screen (whenever the entity is under the crosshair). [...] This does not happen in 1.8.1, nor in 1.9 pre6, only in RC2."
So the game may crash whenever I point at something. So much for bugfree.
"Villagers and players alike often accidentally fall in the village wells, [...] I think that ladders should naturally be generated on the inside of the well."
...and when you're done childproofing the wells, you should consider putting safety nets at the bottom of ravines, and ladders on the side of them too. I don't know HOW many times I've falled off a cliff just because I was busy being an idiot.
>>6
How does someone fall down one of those village's wells?
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Anonymous2011-11-17 16:15
>>8
How does somebody do it so often that he has to put ladders in them? There are lots of ravines and sinkholes in Minecraft now, but he finds it impossible to get out of a small well. These players aren't too bright, especially considering that this "impossible" task, can easily be overcome by using one or two carried blocks as stepping stones.
I bet Notch will implement ladders soon, none-the-less. He can't have faggots falling down wells - that's not good for business.
>>9
Wouldn't shock me one bit, if he did implement some ladder exit out of villager wells. You gotta be pretty stupid to fall down one of those wells in the first place.
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Anonymous2011-11-18 1:30
Griefing was just made a whole lot easier with the full release.
Want to ban a random player from a server?
Then simply give him a bow.
I guess the server will crash for him for as long as he carries or wields the bow, and as he can't drop it before crashing, he'll never be able to get back on. ...and you just wanted to be kind to him and give him a bow - how could you possibly have known the effects of that?
Source from the wiki:
"Windows If one player makes a BOW in, Vanilla Survival Server, and then gives it to another player, that player automatically crashes out of the server and the server will never let that player back in. JackDawson & ScorpionDrivers tested this on two different servers and found this to happen because of Jack making a BOW and giving it to Scorpion who then could never log back into the server. JackTDawson"
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Anonymous2011-11-18 1:42
>look a mod
>hi mod nice server :)
>here, you can have my bow :)
>where did mod go?
>im building a bow dispenser at spawn if thats okay
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Anonymous2011-11-18 1:50
Don't tell him that you're going to give him a bow. Just throw it at him from behind when he's not wielding anything. He'll never even know who did it.
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Anonymous2011-11-18 4:20
Logged into a server.
Noted what block I spawned on, and where I was facing.
Created a ton of bows.
Built a pressure plate directly on the spawn point.
Built a dispenser directly behind the spawn.
Loaded the dispenser with bows.
Mod wonders why so many people logs in and then directly leaves.
Gave him a bow. He left too.
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Anonymous2011-11-18 15:53
Log into a server.
Hey fags, guess what!
Shitcraft sucks!
Fag 1>ur just mad cause ur go no creativity
Fag 2>yeah people who hate minecraft are just cod faboys!!!1!!11
Fag 1>i meen just look at all thoes videos on utube sayng it sucks!!
Real conversation.
God cant save you now.
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Anonymous2011-11-18 22:19
Minecraft 1.0.0 is out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Anonymous2011-11-19 2:51
fuck you
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Anonymous2011-11-19 8:04
i like minecraft
dad play it with me all time he is home
he will playing with me tomorow
but he is on work now
:(
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Anonymous2011-11-19 10:02
>>19
You should ask your dad to play naked cave explorer with you.
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VKTNR !//9.ar1KC.2011-11-19 12:19
>>20
I nevar heard about dat gaem before!!!???????
Notch mentioned that Eurogamer rated his game the highest - 10/10. Reading the review, the reviewer said that it's using a scale where Justin Bieber would get 7/10. I'm not sure that that's even a POSITIVE scale.
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Anonymous2011-11-20 10:24
>>23
Some magazines are just writing reviews based on how well the game sells, to assure that enough people agree with the review to want to read more reviews.
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Anonymous2011-11-20 10:42
They made a pretty big mistake in releasing the game without even system requirements. Isn't there some kind of LAW stopping publishers from going "This software MIGHT work on your computer, but just look at how shiny it is - surely it must be worth the riscs of robbery..."?
...and what's stopping me from buying this game at the local store now, installing it, and just returning it the next day, going "My computer didn't meet the system requirements - I want my money back."? Who could blame me?
They best GUESS (which is wrong at least when it comes to the amount of RAM needed) is some random forum fag trying to guess it based on a long list at the Minecraft wiki. This is a game that takes up waaay more resources than it appears to do.
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Anonymous2011-11-20 22:12
Well Java isn't the best
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Anonymous2011-11-21 6:08
Minecraft LPs a year ago: "Woah! Is that a pink sheep? They included pink sheep in this update?! Gotta get me some of that pink wool. Maybe I would craft something cool with it, like a pink sweater."
Minecraft LPs now: "So this is the beta-alpha-pre-release-release-canidate-TWO version of Minecraft, and in this video I'll be showing you guys all the new cool stuff included in this update. Gotta turn on creative mode and then we just get infinite ender eyes so that we can fly around and locate a fortress. Okay, we found and dug ourselves down to a portal, so now we just activate it, and there's the enderdragon. This is gonna take a while, guys, because even though I'm invulnerable, it will take a lot of shots with my bow to kill him. Okay, so now he's dead, and here's the ending."
These people are not playing the game anymore. They're raping it.
>>28
You're right, but I don't think I can even call them players anymore. To them, Minecraft isn't even a game. It's some kind of zoo.
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Noahk112011-11-21 22:00
I have to agree java is NOT the best platform for games. But minecraft has proven the power of java. But anyway Minecraft FTW! I love it! And its finally out of beta!
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Anonymous2011-11-21 22:04
WHAT IS THE PONT OF A POST LIKE THIS EVERYONE HAS THERE OWN OPINION!
>>31
everyone has their own opinion? Well no shit, guess ive been in the dark about this fact.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 1:16
>>30
Notch made Minecraft while constantly whining about how hard it was for Java to render so much at once of his "minimalistic" game.
If you instead program C, you can make games like From Dust, with seamless landscaping. I'm not saying that From Dust is how a Minecraft game should be - just that Java doesn't even come close to games programmed in C. You can even program Java through Unity, whose Java is several times more powerful, and get a several times better game.
The only "power" that Minecraft has proven, is the power of hype and faggotry, as well as the lack of any real competitors. What Notch has done isn't hard at all, and the only thing he did right, was to add monsters to an Infiniminer/Roblox clone.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 1:38
>>31
Minecraft sucking isn't a matter of opinion. It's fact.
Notch changing the game concept from manly mining, to something that can't even be called a game, mid-way to release, after most people have already been suckered into spending money on it, is fact.
Curse banning normal people from the Minecraft community because Notch favors faggots, children and furries, afraid that normal people would (qoute) "rape" his fans with their mere existence, is fact.
Minecraft being held together with string and tape at release, crashing if you so much as look at it funny, is fact.
If you think Minecraft doesn't suck, you're wrong, and that's a fact.
The only "opinion" you have, is your faggotry: You like flowers and rainbows and invulnerability, because you can't cope with even simple game challenges. You have embraced being weak and worthless, because you ARE weak and worthless. You don't know how to handle life, so you take refuge in a fantasy world void of any kind of demands, where you can rot your mind away in peace. You like Minecraft because you are a hopeless burden to humanity. This isn't an opinion - this is fact.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 2:13
>>35
Basically Sweden is what's wrong with Minecraft. Would Notch have been born in, say, Russia, Minecraft would look very differently. I'm saying this as a swede myself.
Sweden is run by incompetent politicians trying to use hype rather than education, is stay in power, much like Notch.
Feminists have turned the word "rape" into "anyone who women don't like", and the laws instated in the last ten years, allow them to jail any men they don't like. (Julian Assange isn't an isolated incident - swedish police estimate that over HALF of all rape charges filed are obviously false.)
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Anonymous2011-11-22 5:23
Wasn't Notch given some offer by Valve to have Minecraft put up on Steam, and in usual fucktard fashion, he turned it down?
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Anonymous2011-11-22 6:25
>>35
You are gay. This isn't an opinion-it's a fact.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 8:01
The players suck more than the game does now. It's all idling and no playing on public servers. Kinda like IRC, but a game.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 8:09
>>38
As you're obviously been raised by a single mother, I can understand that you would confuse a fatherly cock raping your ass, with attraction.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 8:22
>>37
It's not that much of an "offer", really - Valve is happy to accept basically any new game to their platform, and it required Notch to understand how Steam would work, and adapt to its specific content distribution - but it was still a mistake by Notch to not take it, considering that his game is now a crashing heap of junk.
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Anonymous2011-11-22 12:03
Gksolrk
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Anonymous2011-11-22 13:31
>>37
Yes, but he turned it down because he wants to sell capes and get all of the profit instead of having to split any amount of money with Valve. You remember that April Fools' Day shop prank?
It was a beta test for the Minecraft Online Store.
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God2011-11-22 17:44
Less than a year ago Minecraft made itself known as a brutal survival game that was designed to sweettalk you and then fuck you up. Now it's the exact opposite. An army of over 9000 faggots came and FUCKED WITH OUR GAME!
Protip 1: Notch is into scat and animal sex. It's no secret that Curse is favoring furries and banning normal people. Furries are parading all over that forum. Of course they're going to suggest animal breeding to Notch enough times for him to cave in to their demands - all the reasonable people have been banned. Also, what's more dirty than "entering love mode"?
Protip 2: Minecraft is stolen code, so its a different programming language so what. Notch just directly copied the code variables into a different language. Infiniminer, Roblox, and various other games and mods come to mind. He also steals peoples ideas for mods.
Protip 3: Minecraft is boring. Minecrafts creative mode has all the excitement of lego. Only retards find Minecraft "a challenging game". Second of all, Minecraft players are WORSE than kids, because the later versions have made things so easy that Minecraft is now played by drooling morons who can't handle the "Easy" difficulty level of other games. Imagine what sort of people CoD would attract if the enemies came at you just waving sticks. Then the game would not even pose a challenge for kids - not normal ones. If a game designer has any decency, he keeps true to his original vision and makes a separate game for kids. In the case of Minecraft you already had creative mode, even the ability to turn off monsters completely, and was allowed to cheat to get unlimited blocks, but when Notch made the ENTIRE game unplayable, he ruined it. Non-morons can't play Minecraft right now because there is no challenge anywhere to be found. It's a complete waste of time.
Protip 4: Minecraft is not a "creative game" when all you do is make stuff that everyone else has already made or copy designs of the golden gate bridge. That is called mimicry. Often what you see on YouTube is people scanning in pictures and building replicas of real-world houses, when they're not just building standard castles. Probably the best point made against the "if you don't like it your not creative enough" argument. Obviously they are not creative. And are they really being creative at all? All I ever see is just people doing and making the same shit all the time. Or they are making shit that other people have made. Or just copying popular images or old architectural designs that are then translated into the crappy one size fits all minecraft blocks. Creativity means making something yet unseen or something you have not seen or heard of before. Look what creativity really means, it up retards.
Protip 5: Minecraft is also not creative because all you do is build out of 40 diffrent 1x1 blocks. Lego does better then that. http://www.spareblocks.com/
Protip 6: Pedobears and 10 year old furfags play the game, oh and retarded people. Minecraft is created by retards for retards, by furries for furries. They invaded about a year ago and Curse banned everyone else, and it's THE meeting place for retards and furries right now. Studies have been done that link autism and asbergers with mincraft. You derp kids came to Minecraft because you liked what you saw. You liked what you saw because Notch began tailoring Minecraft to suit derp kids, a place where they could "derp" as much as they wanted, while making sure that hardcore players who took games seriously were banned. Notch is intentionally creating a haven for you, where adults aren't allowed (unless they think they're magical animals).
Protip 7: I get my dick sucked by not playing minecraft. Never met any girl thinks Minecraft is a turn-on.
Protip 8: The smart people and kids are far too smart to waste their time with Minecraft. So you must be tarded.
Protip 9: The graphics still suck. But really It's not the graphics. It's the mechanics and the players. Minecraft started out as a decent game at first because it had a challenge, but along came fifty thousand children and carried off Notch into fagland. They whined and whined about how they couldn't survive with torches and cookies and peaceful mode and all the colors of the rainbow. For 1 decent human being there are 100 retards in this world. Guess who wins? Then Curse came along - the team that now runs Minecrafts "unofficial" forums - and Notch gave the mods there orders to ban anyone who was over the age of 21 and wasn't a furfag. He sold out the userbase to furries and children. Graphics can be fixed with texture packs. The game can not. Even if Notch would fix it, the old players won't be coming back for a second humiliation.
"The beginning of the 2000 millenia saw a huge drop in IQ levels, resulting in a new dark age, where gibbering idiots played games like Minecraft, hanging out with magical fairies and rainbows, instead of developing their brains by facing any sort of challenges. Before this type of electronical cannabis was outlawed in 2050, it destroyed the brains of most of humanity."
- Future Dictionary
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Anonymous2011-11-22 20:00
Apparently Yogscast are a bunch of rapists as well. (Yes, the Minecraft community never ceases to expose them.) During the Minecon, they went around Las Vegas and did things that wasn't very (quote) "age appropriate", like "dropping the f-bomb" and generally not obeying Notchs every command, so there was this huge Twitter drama about it that is still going on until Yogscast makes some sort of official statement.
Maybe you think that "f-bombs" are okay since Notch did a masturbation joke recently, but in the Yogscast interview he explains that he got an angry letter about that, so he decided that he would stop saying words like "masturbation". No, I'm not joking: Some single mom/faggot sent him an angry letter over what he has written in his personal Twitter, and Notch agreed to not say dirty words like "masturbation". Maybe there's an award somewhere, for being the biggest faggot on the internet, that Notch is ambitiously aiming for.
The Curse forums are bringing it up too at places, but as they censor words like "fuck you" and "dicks" for the little kids, it gets somewhat confusing who said what.
This is so weird, because Yogscast aren't actually manly men. They're somewhere between british aristocrats, and goofs. How anyone could imagine them as being rapists, is beyond me.
>>44
This is the third time you have posted this, and it is the third time you have been wrong.
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Anonymous2011-11-23 6:09
Yogscast? We're talking about the guys that revealed that they'll dedicate servers to My Little Pony ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPd9oci4ers (0:33:39)), right - those guys? Notch is trying to out-faggot those guys? Fucking hell...
I bet there are plenty of adult people on the internet that are now hanging their heads in shame over ever having associated themselves with the kids game that is Minecraft, 'cause that is some perverse faggotry right there.
>>48
It's not even his own posts, so it's copypasta of a collage of copypasta.
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Anonymous2011-11-23 8:52
is it true notch hit on hannah and she rudely turned him down? might explain what this is all about
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Anonymous2011-11-23 8:59
>>51
hahaha, I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.
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Anonymous2011-11-23 9:07
>>51
This might explain Notch on Tumblr:
"[...]we went over to the media suite to warm up.
And that’s all I can post. I try to keep this blog somewhat PG13."
So Notch complains about Yogscast not being "age appropriate" for the kids, while he apparently did something in the media suite, that's at least to the degree of exposing his genitals (because that's over PG-13). If he exposed them to Hannah, and she turned him down, then that might explain the sour mood between them.
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Anonymous2011-11-23 10:22
For any of this Yogs vs. Notch crap to make even remotely sense, you'll have to think like a tremendous faggot, so here's a video from distinguished Curse faggot Cruxsky (who won't even read words like "dick" out loud), consisting of a 23 minute long complaint over his butt hurting over Yogscast simply not sucking Notch cock good ENOUGH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfobRqu9dxQ
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Anonymous2011-11-23 14:41
I was one of the very few who was with the Yogscast and Notch backstage, and I can tell you that it wasn't about the swearing at all. It's about what happened the night following the interview. Both parties went out drinking that evening, me included, and we all ended up in Notchs hotel room, drunk out of our minds. They asked me if I had ever had fantasies about other men. Then, out of nowhere, erect cocks were presented. After that, all I can remember was the male stripper with the oranges and that poor goat being showered in cum. It was the best time of my life, but I can't speak for all of us.
>>43
Oh yeah I remember that april fools prank. Was amusing, too. Wouldn't surprise me if he went and copied what Valve did w/ TF2.
You know, Mann Co. Store/TF2 Hats.
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Anonymous2011-11-23 20:33
Notchs day:
1. Come home from wild, adult Deadmau5 party.
2. Post faggotry on Twitter about being rude to kids.
Deadmau5, you are not doing your job.
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Anonymous2011-11-24 4:28
Notch replied:
"It's likely the entire Yogscast scenario is just stress related misunderstanding. I apologize for bringing it online before talking to them."
Dude, when your "misunderstandings" begin constructing quotes such as "a bunch of nerds who don’t know how to run a company" (which btw happens to be absolutely true, and would not have been any fault of theirs) and "fuck off", you're having a psychotic episode. (Btw, your vice CEO is wearing a pink wig. You might want to look into that.)
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Anonymous2011-11-24 6:52
Notchs sudden backpedaling is a typical swedish faggot strategy: Base your reputation on wild false accusations about any competition (like Yogscast) or anyone really, and if you happen to run into too much resistance (like thousands of angry Yogscast fans), then just say you're sorry and that it was all "a big misunderstanding".
For once Yogscast could defend themselves against these lies. They had a channel through which to make statements, and they had thousands of fans to back them up, and that's the only reason that they could stand up to Notchs insanity. Most people that Notch got banned from the Curse forums didn't have that support. There is no "misunderstanding" here.
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Anonymous2011-11-24 14:38
>>54
HERO (Cruxsky) made the fag video private. He didn't remove it, so if you really wish for a "you rage, you lose" dose of refined faggotry, you might be able to see it (and copy it to a spare user) if the video is only shared with his subscribers.
Saw this up over on /v/
You guys might want to partake in this shit, perhaps? http://boards.4chan.org/v/res/118008541
Don't know how you could miss it. Something about TBG's review of Minecraft.
Beware of NDF fags.
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Anonymous2011-11-25 6:49
>>64
Thanks for the heads up, but there are two reasons why that was a fail post:
1. Post direct links to sources. (How long does a /v/ thread last? An hour? Five hours at max? How long a thread (as in text and permanent links) last on /games/? So far they've lasted a couple of years.)
2. If you don't clarify things otherwise, don't just write acronyms and assume that everybody will know about some random YouTube channel that you found somewhere. My best guess is that you are talking about TheBestGamersUSA's recent Minecraft review. NDF could stand for Notch Defense Fag or maybe any one of the acronyms listed by Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NDF
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Anonymous2011-11-25 7:44
>>64 (Continued)
While The Best Gamers are writing troll reviews, there's not much trolling they could find for their review of Minecrafts current state. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap87xnjOh8E )
Especially the 9:21-10:13 of their video is fucking depressing: Notch didn't even fix the infinite items glitch for a game that he's releasing even on unpatchable consoles, because he was too busy implementing "Mooshrooms" (We get the bad word pun, Notch. A picture would have been enough.) and generally sucking underage faggot cock.
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Anonymous2011-11-25 13:01
>>23
Not even IGN gave Minecraft 10/10, and they were in charge of the games publicity at Minecon.
I actually had to look up what kind of age group IGN reviewer Anthony Gallegos was in, because he sounded like a mere kid playing his first game, when he described the time-travel of crafting rails, its instilling of "a sense of power that [he] rarely feel[s] in games", and Minecraft making his "dreams come to life".
Had he played any games at all before writing that review? Most games will give you plenty more amounts of power and conquest than the "power" of constructing rails. Has he just not played any strategy games yet, so that he doesn't know that there are more powerful things that you can do in game, than building a house and planting flowers? Civ 5 was released just last year. Where was he then? Civ 5 got the exact same IGN score as Minecraft (9/10), but while Civ 5 got that score in a fair way, the Minecraft reviewer couldn't even justify his 9, so he just changed the score average of 8, to a 9. Minecraft doesn't even deserve an 8.
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Anonymous2011-11-25 13:52
Everyone Is going to have their own opinions, about whether minecraft sucks, or if minecraft rules, or if another game sucks. That is ok, that is what makes you human. The only 'right' people are the ones that can accept other people's views without insulting them, or putting them down, just because of their beliefs.
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Anonymous2011-11-25 14:36
Hey, I refuse to believe that Minecraft - a game that once appealed to adult Seananners - now only appeals to 10 year olds! I want to see the independent research of various kids being exposed to Minecraft! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1tBXe0JGyc
Oh...
This research shows that while 7yo girls can actually be SCARED of Minecraft, 12yos - TWELVE YEAR OLDS - FROWN at the immature crap.
Also, see how fast you can spot the kid who PLAYS Minecraft.
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Anonymous2011-11-25 16:56
>>68
I think that that is a very beautiful thought, and that you should tell the Curse mods to unban me for that very reason.
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Anonymous2011-11-25 22:34
>>69
*shows a nyan cat recreation to a 7 year-old girl* Oh my god! How did you make that farting cat?
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Anonymous2011-11-25 23:33
>>65
We're talking about Minecraft, nigger. Obviously when talking Minecraft, NDF is only going to stand for one fucking thing.
Why don't you come back when you've stopped being a naive fucktard.
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Anonymous2011-11-26 1:20
>>72
Yeah, great job, denying someone knowledge because they don't know what it means. Yeah, that's cool bro, dirt, let's go play with matches shall we
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Anonymous2011-11-26 9:46
New Minecraft version out: Version 11w47a
What's that? "Minecraft is already released"?
Well, that was just a way to get around the legal tapes so that they can charge you full prize for a game still very much in alpha. (You really bought that one?)
Instead of the alpha/beta/pre-release/release canidate (essentially meaningsless) mumbo jumbo, we are now introduced to "weekly builds". ...which is another way of saying "alpha that you PAID to get, but that we're not actually giving you, because we're robbers and scam-artists".
Did notch delete those posts in reddit that got flamed to hell and back? The newest one I could find was over 1 month old.
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Anonymous2011-11-27 13:19
>>79
You might be able to find them in the previous links posted here if it's about Yogscast.
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Anonymous2011-11-27 13:21
From the Minecraft wiki:
"1.0.1 is a server version right now in minecraft which i have to say "What the heck is wrong with them?!" 1.0.1 doesnt allow you to craft ANYTHING! You Basiccally click on something to place somewhere else (ex:chest, invetory, etc.) i mean its okay instead of dragging, but YOU CANT CRAFT! thats why im against 1.0.1"
So first they took out the "mine" from Minecraft, and now the "craft"? Watch Mojang take out the "scrolls" from Scrolls.
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Anonymous2011-11-27 18:18
Minecraft sucks
This is the best video I have ever seen that proves everything we have been saying for a year now.
FUCK NOTCH and all the retarded cripple homosexual furry children who came out of a lazy cum dumpster whore. Minecraft is SHIT
Its real name should be MineComph with all the fucking furfag nazis on the official forums. I hate you notch I hope you die from a gang of people pealing your flesh off while you scream.
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Anonymous2011-11-27 20:55
They turned Minecraft into My Little Pony.
No, I'm not meaning symbolically anymore - they literally made a My Little Pony mod, where everyone is a My Little Pony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxzUmD-BjBA
After seeing this, explain to me why raping or murdering 10 year olds is in any way morally wrong, I dare you.
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Anonymous2011-11-28 1:20
>>83
If anything Yogscast has proven that if you're going to play Minecraft as adults, you have to snicker at it constantly. If Yogscast went to Minecon and DIDN'T behave in the way that Notch described, they deserve some kind of "We REALLY don't care about Minecraft." award. We're upset over Minecrafts decay because we cared about it to begin with.
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Anonymous2011-11-30 3:48
>>83
And people wonder why there are 40 year old man-children.
(In response to that MLP garbage)
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Herobrine prober2011-11-30 10:36
There are rumour where people have really encountered Herobrine. So far we know that Herobrine prefers dark places, like the night and dark caverns, and that he can travel between dimensions and assume any size. His latest tactic is that he will haunt a player at night while he is sleeping, and hide inside the dark of his colon during the day.
Luckily I have this Herobrine probe, and with it, we can finally locate where Herobrine is! If he's hiding inside your colon, he might flee pretty deep, and it's going to take a few techniques to lure him out, but never fear: In the worst case scenario my probe can shoot out sticky goo that will make him unable to move, and then you can hopefully just poo him out. It will probably just take a couple of probing sessions for him to come out of there, and then you can tame him and make him your servant, and then he can build for you in Minecraft! How awesome is that?! =D
Now don't tell your parents about this, because as they don't believe in Herobrine, they wouldn't understand, and would probably send you away to some insane asylum somewhere if you told them, so just keep these probings a secret between you and me, okay?
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Anonymous2011-11-30 10:59
Girls have it a lot easier then boys to know if Herobrine is hiding inside their weewee, because they can scare Herobrine into secreting a sorts of slime, by rubbing their weewees just right, so if they see this slime from their weewee, they should contact a Herobrine prober immediately so that he can get it out of them.
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Anonymous2011-11-30 20:37
"Puppies Jeb has stated his interest in adding puppies into the game, stating that it would be one of the first projects the soon-to-be-hired AI specialist would be assigned to."
Puppies. Not wolf cubs. Dog puppies, that I presume grow on trees or something.
Jeb, what sort of a creature are you? You LOOK like an adult man with a ponytail, but could it be that you are some sort of overgrown 10 year old girl? Are we going to see candy and Barbie dolls next?
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Anonymous2011-11-30 22:17
When I first arrived on the internet, I was a strong, confident woman who wanted to be famous and make a difference in the world. People loved it and suddenly I was famous almost over night. It was wonderful, and I made lots of money.
Then one day I met Curse, and he promised that he would take care of me, and see to my fanclub to make sure that the fans got what they wanted.
Just a year later, I'm a cheap whore who will do anything for my customers, no matter how degrading. Curse told me that this is what the fans wanted, so I guess it's alright, because I'm still making money, but I imagined them to be more sofisticated. More often than not they abuse me and don't appreciate me for anything else than my body. What have I become?
My name is Notch Minecraft. This is my story.
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Anonymous2011-12-01 22:25
Minecraft sucks
All the retards are like ohh look I took a few weeks to build this calculator that can do 9 digit addition only. Oh and its the size of 3 city blocks. OH wow minecrat is sooo amazing.
If only we were talking about actual nerds constructing actual circuits, but we're not. We're talking about useless retard nerd WANNABES who make VIRTUAL circuits that has no use what-so-ever.
I can't even imagine what kind of game that Jeb will turn Minecraft into now that he has unrestrained control over it, but this explains Minecrafts sudden shift in tone (which was exactly when Jeb joined) and the following quick decay into faggotry (through additions mostly officially attributed to Jeb): Jeb wasn't just a programmer with bad ideas, but was put more and more in charge of Minecrafts future.
This takeover is disturbing for other reasons as well: Within just one year, Jeb somehow convinced Notch to give up at least control over his million dollar income, to him. How does one do that without it involving incriminating pictures of naked hairy midgets???
Stop being a Notch apologist he fucked up minecraft and gave its rotting remains to Jeb because he did not want to deal with it anymore.
He just used minecraft to give him enough money to start a business. He really did not like the game but he was hunting for a game that people would pay money for IE an improved Infiniminer Clone. Now that he has his money he does not give a fuck and gave it to Jeb so he can work on projects he ACTUALLY wants to work on. But all he really wants to do is make a game the he can keep charging people for, with addons and extra shit. That is why he created and is focusing on scrolls so he can just lay around and make make addons that people will pay for. That is his true dream. Get a clue. That was his goal all along. Stop apologizing for him.
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Anonymous2011-12-03 21:51
It's about fucking time he replaced Notch as lead developer.
No, actually - this shit should have happened a while ago.
Fuck that fat, balding, jew bastard.
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Anonymous2011-12-03 21:51
>>96
How am I apologizing for him? Up until redstone, Notch made a decent game, but then he involved Curse and Jeb, and put them in charge. Notch didn't come up with the worst ideas, but he approved of them. If Jeb somehow saves Minecraft from the children horde, I'll eat a pair of old socks.
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Anonymous2011-12-04 4:58
Minecraft Sucks because notch lacked a clear and focused goal.
had notch had a clear goal in mind when he was making the game, and built an engine around that goal, (in addition to not being a lazy asshole) the game would have been better.
To be honest, the current state of minecraft is sort of a compromise. There's an End (if you'll pardon the pun) and there's plenty of open world. No matter what the player wants, they'll get it. Of course, this may detract from the game in the long run, but that's OK for me.
P.S.: The above name is my Minecraft Username, so troll away.
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Anonymous2011-12-05 22:38
So, since the sale they had on Steam w/ Terraria being 75% off, I've realized two things.
1. i hate you all
2. i don't understand why people were calling it a ripoff of Minecraft. It's like comparing a bum's cardboard box house to a mansion. With Minecraft being the bum's cardboard box house.
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Anonymous2011-12-06 0:16
>>101
Terraria was created by Minecrafts Curse forum users.
They simply wanted to implement all the threads in the Suggestions sub-forum into a game, but didn't know how to program a 3D voxel engine.
All the things that was in Terrarias first release, I have ssen in the Suggestions forum beforehand.
The only reason that they repeatedly kept insisting that Terraria wasn't 2D Minecraft, was because they were afraid to get sued for it,
and I'm amazed that you seem to have bought their story somehow.
That "mansion" was essentially shat out of the bum's cardboard box. You are playing a faggot game, made by faggots too faggy for Minecraft. How does that make you feel?
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Anonymous2011-12-09 1:27
"I have been a minecraft player since late 2009, about December, and i now spend most of my time on a friend's creative server, working on harebrained structures, and building/playing games in minecraft. I heard of the idea to make a game similar to minesweeper, and i seem to be the first to post an article about it."
So apparently Minecraft is now not only a computer aided design program for engineers, but also a programming language.
Should we add Minecraft to the list of natural disasters of the future? ...because if Minecraft continues to erode the brains of that generation, we'll end up having to surf on Minecraft web browsers when we grow old.
>>102
I don't really care, you know why?
Been out for a shorter time than Minecraft.
Terraria isn't nearly as buggy as this piece of filth we call Minecraft.
Oh, and it didn't cost $30. $10 for regular price.
$20 difference, more content, bosses, mobs, items, etc for a cheaper price.
And Minecraft...consists of collecting materials to build houses. An endless amount of houses. Wood houses, dirt houses, stone houses. And some boss called Enderdragon with an AI that is more stupid than the villagers.
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Anonymous2011-12-16 23:58
I
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Anonymous2011-12-16 23:58
Really
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Anonymous2011-12-16 23:59
Really
Name:
Anonymous2011-12-16 23:59
Want
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Anonymous2011-12-16 23:59
Trips : )
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Anonymous2011-12-17 4:22
I've never played another game whose achievements reset every time you play:
"Oh, look! You've managed to chop down some wood! That counts as getting wood, which is something that happens to adults sometimes. You're a man now! Holy shit, you've managed to craft a pickaxe! I'm like amazed over here! Have we met before? What 'On A Rail' achievement? I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you crying, little one?"
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Anonymous2011-12-17 9:15
I got WoW month ago. I played few hours. I did some quests and killed stuff. I realized that's pretty much what the entire game was. If you're thinking about getting it, the free version is almost exactly the same. The expansion packs/full version don't really add anything to the game. Don't waste 9.95 Euros on it.
>>116
Age verification: Please verify your age in the post below.
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Anonymous2011-12-23 15:38
>>117
18
the reason I'm saying this is because notch is really lazy over the last year. without jeb_ we would still be playing a game like alpha.
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Anonymous2011-12-24 2:43
ha
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Anonymous2011-12-26 19:45
>>118
Jeb added a lot of worthless fantasy crap. If you want a fantasy game, there's thousands of them. Stick a few straws into an empty milk carton, and you have another mob that you can parade around at home. Effort would be if Jeb actually fixed the bugs and got real, instead of mistaking Minecraft for a kids game.
I'm also old enough to be your dad.
Before Jeb: Notch released a new update every week.
After Jeb: As Jeb slowly took over during the year, Mojang released fewer and fewer updates, until the schedule became every other month.
Only Jeb: No actual releases yet. *Cricket noises.*
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Anonymous2011-12-27 20:23
>>120
fantasy, you mean like exp orbs, teleporting monsters, redwood sized mushrooms, and dragons? Jeb_ had very little part in that, that was Notch.
Jeb_ has been doing a lot of bug fixing. The person checking bugs off the wiki list, Jeb_. >>121
do you want a bug covered game?
any way you can't expect an update twice a month, Jeb_ is working on cobalt as well.
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Anonymous2011-12-27 21:35
>>121
What the fuck galaxy are you living in? Jeb has been releasing, from what I'd say - you could call them 'pre-releases' on a weekly basis.
>>122
Yeah, like Notch would or could ever implement anything that would ever be considered 'cool' and not a complete ripoff.
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Anonymous2011-12-28 18:02
>>123
the only thing Notch has done good is inventing he game and the Halloween update.
that didn't even happen to plan.
Notch has fallen through on so many promises. http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Upcoming_features
most of these things, promised by Notch.
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Anonymous2011-12-29 5:50
>>123
Those prereleases are a big pile of shit. I think Jeb does this to clear the image of the "never-releaser". I mean, I'd have no problem with a big update every 4-5 months or so, bcs everytime a new updates comes e.g. the bukkit team has to update the server and this takes some time too.
JUst to it like dwarf fortress, release an update like every year, but make it so big that it changes the whole game.
>>129
Bah, I have no tolerance for the whole IV/EV shit, it's all the same in my head
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Anonymous2012-01-03 23:57
bump
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Anonymous2012-01-05 14:54
You'll know when the development for Minecraft has ceased: When even the "weekly snapshot builds" begin coming out once every MONTH. The kids shat all over the game until it became a sick horse in Jebs shed, that he visits once every month because he has to. I blame the lack of childporn. Would there be more childporn, children wouldn't have time to play games. They would be doing decent things like earning a living instead, and being assets to the human race instead of plagues. I also blame the kids jealous mothers.
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Anonymous2012-01-08 13:03
That's cool and all, but I guess you guys should Check 'em.
I loved minecraft ;_; Why has Notch commited minercide?
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Anonymous2012-01-11 0:41
fuck minecraft
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Anonymous2012-01-11 4:28
>>132
Agree completely. Minecraft will be a failure in my eyes until Notch implements TrueChildporn3D.
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Anonymous2012-01-12 3:10
So if I understand the Minecraft Alchemy chart directly:
You water out by filling a bottle with water.
Then if you add any ingredient to this bottle other than a nether wart, you get a completely worthless potion. (Either a Thick potion or a Mundane potion, which can only be crafted into Potions of Weakness.)
In order to get the actual potions, you have to find a lava lake, cool it into obsidian, find diamond ore, craft diamond tools, mine the obsidian, go to the Nether, find some nether warts, find some soul sand, start a nether wart within the Nether (because these warts won't grow elsewhere), and then add them to the potions.
In other words, potion making is the tier above diamond mining and the Nether. Potion making is for people who either cheat (either through giving themselves the potions directly, or by turning off monsters to prevent Ghasts from blowing up their Nether nether wart farms), or for people who has mined all there is to mine, but stays around because they are now converted faggots.
The potion system is made of fail. Great thinking, Jeb.
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Anonymous2012-01-12 3:11
water = start
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Anonymous2012-01-12 23:30
Minecraft was undated to what is described as "1.1".
Curse released a video about here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CmcndTG4yk
As first you go "Woah! They hired an adult 'rapist' called Sasha Vural to do a voice over on their videos? Isn't adult words something that makes the tender bums of all these 10 year olds gape and bleed?"
However, "Sasha Vural" is a made up person. That voice is computer generated, because there wasn't one single person who were manly enough to do a voice over on a Minecraft video. That's sad.
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Anonymous2012-01-12 23:45
I see that they got rid of the landscapes and replaced it with "flatlands". Good. I didn't want mountains in my mining game anyway. They were too complex and confusing, and raped me continuously. I'm not saying that I'm jewish or anything, but I can only live where everything is perfectly flat, or I'll die.
Also, I'm pleased to see that while they removed the hitbox for the ladders, the ladder still blocks water and lava, which is just how the real world works.
I'm also glad that Jeb has implemented all these additional languages, because I'm too young and uneducated to understand plain English, and it confused me to the point that I jumped into a pool of lava, thinking it read "glowing ketchup".
>>137
mfw
people who think you need diamonds to get obsidian portals
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Anonymous2012-01-15 1:16
>>141
Yes, you can "mine" in superflat, but it's not enjoyable unless you have Aspergers. It's Asperger mode, plain and simple.
>>142
Mfw people think they're "leet" because they've figured out how to make portals without mining obsidian.
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Anonymous2012-01-16 1:37
Jeb nuked Minecraft.
I didn't think that somebody could nuke a game.
Before Jeb there was mountains, hills and trees. Players could survive without cheating themselves to wood.
Now there's just a barren, featureless wasteland (except maybe for the occational chunk error crater into void). The surviving players are all cancer and all the animals have been turned into green slime.
Jeb is the biggest griefer ever.
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Anonymous2012-01-16 1:47
"Minecraft isn't shit!"
*Jeb turns the entire world into one just three layers of shit.*
"Oh..."
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Anonymous2012-01-18 11:51
If a released game had 13 bugs in it, I'd call it a buggy game, and I'd probably not buy it.
Minecraft has 13 SECTIONS of bugs, which in turn has sub sections: http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Known_bugs/Version_1.1
Some of these bugs have been around for over six months or longer.
Is it true that if I buy Minecraft now, I actually have to PAY Mojang for any future bug fixes? That's like buying something utterly broken, and then continue to pay the producer until he gets around to fixing it.
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Anonymous2012-01-24 1:23
>>144
"Superflat" world type, faggot. Don't choose it if you're planning on playing Survival.
Better yet, delete every trace of this god forsaken piece of filth known as Minecraft off your computer.
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Anonymous2012-01-25 15:02
Minecraft is the ultimate Skinner box. Games like AioN and WoW need to dangle the promise of "Level 100" in front of you to keep you running on the treadmill and pressing buttons. Minecraft promises nothing. Minecraft demands that you choose your own destiny, and once you've made your choice it also demands that you click on 10,000 blocks before you even begin.
Farmville's developers must be so jelly.
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Anonymous2012-01-26 18:41
>>148
I doubt it with all the dosh they make. As bad as the farmville guys are, they at least work for a living.
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Anonymous2012-01-27 21:55
>>88
"Are we going to see candy and Barbie dolls next?"
No, according to yesterdays patch, you are actually going to see kittens.
I'm not joking. First puppies, and now kittens. Even the faithful Curse children are starting to object to the gayness: "Kitten... hello!!! kittens!! what the hell? how often do you find kittens on a lonley Island rahter than deer or moose? ... I think the Minecraft is going a litle too much in the fantasy world"
...so "Where do kittens come from?", you ask? Ferocious maneating leopards? No, they come from ocelots, whose main business is fleeing you, and once tamed, it turns into a domestic kitten.
I shouldn't be surprised, but Minecraft got even more faggy recently: Creepers now run from your house cats. No reason (other than lots of shrooms) - they just do.
They finally nerfed the creepers. Apparently instead of chasing the kids, they now "stalk" them, which (similar to rape) means that the creepers just stand around and do nothing. Creepers stand around and do nothing, and endermen pick up blocks, and kids open their sphincters and lay brown eggs at the sight. Thank you for tricking me into buying a game for mentally handicapped people.
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Anonymous2012-02-13 11:28
Minecraft used to be fun before they tried to throw in the bullshit hunger meter and all these fucking horribly implemented RPG features.
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Anonymous2012-02-14 2:32
Cool thread and all but check 'em.
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Anonymous2012-02-14 17:20
welp guys, might have lamps in the next update. wonder how much more random crashes we'll see after this is implemented
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Anonymous2012-02-14 20:18
Two years later
LAMPS
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Anonymous2012-02-15 9:13
NICE THREAD.
I didn't realize hating minecraft has become so popular at some point, thanks for the heads up.
Although I do feel that all these updates have steered minecraft away from the things that originally made it fun.
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Anonymous2012-02-15 12:08
Yeah, minecraft is fucking trash. Look on the average youtubers channel and you'll see two things in their favorites, minecraft and call of duty videos.
Creepers aren't funny or scary. The whole SSSSSSSSSSS thing is incredibly dumb. I've seen so many people (internet acquaintances mostly) hamming up their let's plays or whatever by screaming like retards at creepers or being terrified to do shit like go into caves.
Fuck. I hate this game so much. It's so boring to play and even with friends fucking up other peoples servers is still crap.
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Anonymous2012-02-15 16:42
>>159
It's the retarded community that made Minecraft into a fucking landfill of autism.
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Anonymous2012-02-15 18:25
Holy shit! This update introduces full-on public gay sex in the village streets! Sure, I always knew that Jeb turned Minecraft gay, but WTF?!
>>139
Sashavarrel is a real person. He went on my server, and I talked to him over skype.
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Anonymous2012-02-23 21:06
How did all those villages turn gay, you ask?
Well, the answer is in this finished-beta-alpha update: They actually forge large hunks out of iron, and while the adult villagers are busy sowing their seeds into eachothers assholes, these golems are directed to feminize their boys by flirting with them and giving them roses and probably pink dresses as well.
The homo-golems also makes iron a renewable resource: Villagers will keep making them, and all you need to farm them is a bow, a sword, and a few dirt blocks.
>>169
They all look the same, and if you put three of them in a pit, they will all fuck eachother, meaning that at least one fuck was homosexual, but still producing a boy. Your theory doesn't hold up.
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Anonymous2012-02-24 12:52
>>170
They might be hermaphroditic, they may not even have a gender at all.
Giant penises ejaculating is one thing. Villagers with penises sticking out of their faces, fucking eachother up the ass in the streets, that's way too much gay propaganda even for me.
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Anonymous2012-02-25 15:06
The latest update also bring poor camera controls into Minecraft, but I have never seen poor camera controls that takes half the keyboard to operate, and if you press the right key combinations, it will corrupt your savefile. That must be some kind of world record.
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Anonymous2012-02-26 16:29
It's weird seeing Minecraft go through all these phases:
Notch phase - Programmer with a dream about nature.
Player phase - Hardcore players bent on survival.
Christian faggot phase - Christian Curse mods ban all adults for being rapists, as they don't want competition.
Children phase - Children and retards want rainbows and flowers. (Notch leaves in disgust.)
Jeb phase - Homosexual MMORPG everywhere.
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Anonymous2012-02-27 4:02
this shit has been being argued on for 3 years
What the fuck is wrong with you people.
I thought /v/ was bad but FUCK
I didn't know you people were that goddamned crazy.
WHAT THE FUCK.
>>174
the camera is for debugging it's not supposed to be in the game.
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Anonymous2012-03-01 21:54
>>176
Notch sold out thousands of players of a promising hardcore game, to a bunch of rape-calling faggots. That's EVANGELION bad.
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Anonymous2012-03-03 11:57
The fact all you pricks are arguing about a game is fucking hilarious. You should all hang yourselves.
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Anonymous2012-03-05 18:53
Well, fuckers, 1.2.3 is out - and you can be guaranteed it's buggier than ever before. But hey, at least we can build up to height 256. That's awesome, right guys? Guys?
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Anonymous2012-03-05 22:51
Oh hey, if you guys liked alpha so much you can just download the version changer.
>>189
Please stop fucking notch. I know watching all the gay sex from the villagers in minecraft has tainted your mind but really. You do not need to fuck notch.
i'm just gunna bump this up with a "hey, they finaly made it so you can actualy write in books, which also now consume leather for no real reason"
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Anonymous2012-05-01 8:29
>>203
...and you have to write the WHOLE book in one go, because it can only be saved once.
I wonder what kind of books faggots would write. My Little Pony fan-fics?
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Anonymous2012-05-11 8:01
After a couple of Herobrine cameos in the version history, Mojang is apparently turning the version history into some kind of fairytale now, where Herobrine commands ghost entities in the program code: http://www.mojang.com/2012/03/minecraft-1-2-5-prerelease/
"Gather round, five year olds, and let me tell you a scary tale about the version history."
Minecraft could merge with Teletubbies by now.
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Anonymous2012-05-13 3:44
"Gather round" indeed. It looks like the first (1 hour long) episode of the Minecraft KIDS SHOW is out, starring "Creeper Steve" (1:54) as the cardboard costumed presenter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3QBq4twoUg
They somehow managed to turn creepers into Barney The Dinosaur.
This is what happens when you let women out of the kitchen.
The changelog of the latest version is saying something about how mentally handicapped the players have become:
"When placing water, water won't place many times. You can get the water back out every block."
"Very often, Minecraft doesn't save what you have made. (Don't know if this is a bug.)"
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Anonymous2012-07-26 7:06
Jeb: "Come back to Minecraft, players! We made creepers stronger now!"
Rapist: "Stronger? How much stronger?"
Jeb: "Well, you take 33% more damage on Hard."
Rapist: "How about on Normal?"
Jeb: "Well, it's unchanged on Normal."
Rapist: "Unchanged? How is that stronger? How about on Easy, where creeprs just caress you gently?"
Jeb: "..."
Rapist: "What's that?"
Jeb: "It's 50% less damage on easy."
Rapist: "How is that stronger?"
Jeb: "Well, it's stronger on Hard."
Rapist: "Yeah, but 33 minus 50 is -17, so overall you've actually made the creeper even WEAKER, especially for the kids, who can now prance around even more carelessly in your so called 'game'."
Jeb: "RAPE!!! RAPE!!!"
Rapist: "Keep dreaming."
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Anonymous2012-08-07 16:10
It's a little late, but Notch has now officially confirmed that Minecraft is 100% Homosexual.
>>215
Yogscast came out as gay recently too, featuring Lewis and Sijn cheating on Simon. This might explain why Hanna looks so butch.
Lots of Minecrafters have been coming out, saying "Ha-ha! We have been gay all this time, and now you're gay too."
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Anonymous2012-08-23 7:57
Sips and Sijn got some weird gay SM going on too, and plan on involving a poolboy in their LP.
Talk to, flirt with and date all the mobs, soon including wolves and other furry creatures. Ever wanted to date a pig? Well, now you can thrust your underage penis into its rectum.
Using this mod has to be the epitome of being forever alone. This and the Pokémon mod.
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Anonymous2012-08-24 14:20
In todays update, there's this new potion that is made from a cock. They call it "the golden carrot", but it's a cock. I guess the potion turns you gay.
Speaking of gay, remember back when real men used to play Minecraft, and they thought that clay could be made into ceramic pots to hold water in? After all, pottery has always been a cornerstone in civilizations. What cornerstone would clay build in a HOMOSEXUAL civilization, though? Flower pots, of course, to plant all the pretty flowers in.
>>220
Let's face it: Minecraft was a scam all along.
Notch made millions from taking an unfinished product, tricking the mature target audience that it was a game for them, and then tweaking it across every age group, until it ended up at child target audiences at the other end of the spectrum. Would he have declared Minecraft to be a kids game from the beginning, he would just be another mediocre developer, but instead he chose to scam every buyer above the age of 15 with false pretenses.
This is the post with the most clarity of the minecraft scam, he got me, and he got everyone to fall for it.
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Anonymous2012-09-12 4:05
With the final "Take THAT, homophobes!" (some months ago) Notch seems to have concluded his blog. I guess it explains why the creepers were penis shaped, and what the hidden agenda that the cryptic ending dialouge spoke about, was about.
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Anonymous2012-09-13 18:30
>>182
Yup, it's hilarious. Seems like a whole lotta butthurt in here.
Posts like this seem to justify some of the butthurt though. >>223
It's still pretty pathetic to get so worked up over a game. Wouldn't getting together and list and then produce a proper "fix", everything the game should have been, be far more productive?
>>226
Would I upload such a fix to the Minecraft forums, it would just be taken down for promoting rape. We're all rapists, remember?
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:)2012-10-02 11:08
:)
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:)2012-10-02 11:09
:)
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s the point of this?2012-10-02 11:10
What is the point of America?
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Anonymous2012-10-03 5:58
The beautiful, third planet in the Lupus system. My home: Canis. I remember the many lessons in school on how our planet was supposedly build. Many billions of years ago, a violent explosion destroyed a nearly star. The fiery rocks and molten material drifted for many lightyears, over a period of thirty billion years until they eventually came together to form a huge planetiod. Since nature could not possibly create an perfect circle, my planet became a warped sphere; burning and spinning in space.
Over a period of many more millennia, the planet matured. Gas clouds began to produce water, as well as an atmosphere. Oxygen was created. Then the first signs of life appeared. First as tiny microbes, then as larger amimals. From them my species evolved. We are known to humans as Canis Lupus; or more commonly known as wolves. Unlike wolves from the human homeworld; Earth, we are bipedal, and have developed a high intelligence. Personally, I'd rather walk down the street for a burger than to run a Kathruk to exaustion! Our basic life cycle lasts about 240 years, but the oldest Canine ever to live was 287.
Our civilization has grown in leaps and bounds. The first contact with other planets came when a life pod crashed on our planet approximately 134 years before I was born. My grandfather has told me the story many times. The two creatures in the pod died shortly after the crash. Our scientists began to examine the bodies and also began disassembling their spacecraft. We learned many things in the years that followed. Our first operational flying machine; the "HawkBat 9000", flew in the year 3056 (my planet's years). It was very spectacular to see; that is, with recordings made at the time. I would not be born for another 100 years.
During that 100 years, my people grew more aware of other beings in the galaxy, other than ourselves. We formed a government, ruled by two pair-bonded wolves; the Alpha Pair. They would rule until a stronger pair-bond could overthrow them. There were forty-three pair-bonds since the first, and we are now living in peace and harmony. One of our biggest achievements was when we sent a small probe into space to monitor our planet. We could make out details on Canis that had never been seen from such a point of view! The magazines I have read and films I watched in school were very nice, I loved my planet. I loved it enough to fight for it!
When I turned 42 (young for our species; around 20 human years), I joined the Flight Cadet Corps. We flew those rickety "HawkBat 9000"'s to try to hone our skills in preparation for the Governments new fighter; named the V-1 (no specific nickname was ever given, and all records have been lost) When I first saw it, I was amazed. Who could believe that we have evolved so much top have been able to build such a thing. It was a small box-like ship with three wings, a long tail, and a big jet engine. It was quite an experience, and different from the prop driven `9000'. The beautiful, third planet in the Lupus system. My home: Canis. I remember the many lessons in school on how our planet was supposedly build. Many billions of years ago, a violent explosion destroyed a nearly star. The fiery rocks and molten material drifted for many lightyears, over a period of thirty billion years until they eventually came together to form a huge planetiod. Since nature could not possibly create an perfect circle, my planet became a warped sphere; burning and spinning in space.
Over a period of many more millennia, the planet matured. Gas clouds began to produce water, as well as an atmosphere. Oxygen was created. Then the first signs of life appeared. First as tiny microbes, then as larger amimals. From them my species evolved. We are known to humans as Canis Lupus; or more commonly known as wolves. Unlike wolves from the human homeworld; Earth, we are bipedal, and have developed a high intelligence. Personally, I'd rather walk down the street for a burger than to run a Kathruk to exaustion! Our basic life cycle lasts about 240 years, but the oldest Canine ever to live was 287.
Our civilization has grown in leaps and bounds. The first contact with other planets came when a life pod crashed on our planet approximately 134 years before I was born. My grandfather has told me the story many times. The two creatures in the pod died shortly after the crash. Our scientists began to examine the bodies and also began disassembling their spacecraft. We learned many things in the years that followed. Our first operational flying machine; the "HawkBat 9000", flew in the year 3056 (my planet's years). It was very spectacular to see; that is, with recordings made at the time. I would not be born for another 100 years.
During that 100 years, my people grew more aware of other beings in the galaxy, other than ourselves. We formed a government, ruled by two pair-bonded wolves; the Alpha Pair. They would rule until a stronger pair-bond could overthrow them. There were forty-three pair-bonds since the first, and we are now living in peace and harmony. One of our biggest achievements was when we sent a small probe into space to monitor our planet. We could make out details on Canis that had never been seen from such a point of view! The magazines I have read and films I watched in school were very nice, I loved my planet. I loved it enough to fight for it!
When I turned 42 (young for our species; around 20 human years), I joined the Flight Cadet Corps. We flew those rickety "HawkBat 9000"'s to try to hone our skills in preparation for the Governments new fighter; named the V-1 (no specific nickname was ever given, and all records have been lost) When I first saw it, I was amazed. Who could believe that we have evolved so much top have been able to build such a thing. It was a small box-like ship with three wings, a long tail, and a big jet engine. It was quite an experience, and different from the prop driven `9000'.