The original thread ( http://dis.4chan.org/read/games/1284263751/1-40 ) will soon inevitably reach 999 replies and be thread-stopped, so before this happens I'm taking the initiative to make another thread for this topic, so that people know where to continue the neverending rage (should they feel that a thread with 999 replies in it is not enough).
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Anonymous2012-04-08 1:31
>>197
3-dimensional: having 3 different dimensions, e.g. height(y), length(x), and depth(z)
minecraft has an x, y, and a z.
i'm just gunna bump this up with a "hey, they finaly made it so you can actualy write in books, which also now consume leather for no real reason"
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Anonymous2012-05-01 8:29
>>203
...and you have to write the WHOLE book in one go, because it can only be saved once.
I wonder what kind of books faggots would write. My Little Pony fan-fics?
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Anonymous2012-05-11 8:01
After a couple of Herobrine cameos in the version history, Mojang is apparently turning the version history into some kind of fairytale now, where Herobrine commands ghost entities in the program code: http://www.mojang.com/2012/03/minecraft-1-2-5-prerelease/
"Gather round, five year olds, and let me tell you a scary tale about the version history."
Minecraft could merge with Teletubbies by now.
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Anonymous2012-05-13 3:44
"Gather round" indeed. It looks like the first (1 hour long) episode of the Minecraft KIDS SHOW is out, starring "Creeper Steve" (1:54) as the cardboard costumed presenter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3QBq4twoUg
They somehow managed to turn creepers into Barney The Dinosaur.
This is what happens when you let women out of the kitchen.
The changelog of the latest version is saying something about how mentally handicapped the players have become:
"When placing water, water won't place many times. You can get the water back out every block."
"Very often, Minecraft doesn't save what you have made. (Don't know if this is a bug.)"
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Anonymous2012-07-26 7:06
Jeb: "Come back to Minecraft, players! We made creepers stronger now!"
Rapist: "Stronger? How much stronger?"
Jeb: "Well, you take 33% more damage on Hard."
Rapist: "How about on Normal?"
Jeb: "Well, it's unchanged on Normal."
Rapist: "Unchanged? How is that stronger? How about on Easy, where creeprs just caress you gently?"
Jeb: "..."
Rapist: "What's that?"
Jeb: "It's 50% less damage on easy."
Rapist: "How is that stronger?"
Jeb: "Well, it's stronger on Hard."
Rapist: "Yeah, but 33 minus 50 is -17, so overall you've actually made the creeper even WEAKER, especially for the kids, who can now prance around even more carelessly in your so called 'game'."
Jeb: "RAPE!!! RAPE!!!"
Rapist: "Keep dreaming."
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Anonymous2012-08-07 16:10
It's a little late, but Notch has now officially confirmed that Minecraft is 100% Homosexual.
>>215
Yogscast came out as gay recently too, featuring Lewis and Sijn cheating on Simon. This might explain why Hanna looks so butch.
Lots of Minecrafters have been coming out, saying "Ha-ha! We have been gay all this time, and now you're gay too."
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Anonymous2012-08-23 7:57
Sips and Sijn got some weird gay SM going on too, and plan on involving a poolboy in their LP.
Talk to, flirt with and date all the mobs, soon including wolves and other furry creatures. Ever wanted to date a pig? Well, now you can thrust your underage penis into its rectum.
Using this mod has to be the epitome of being forever alone. This and the Pokémon mod.
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Anonymous2012-08-24 14:20
In todays update, there's this new potion that is made from a cock. They call it "the golden carrot", but it's a cock. I guess the potion turns you gay.
Speaking of gay, remember back when real men used to play Minecraft, and they thought that clay could be made into ceramic pots to hold water in? After all, pottery has always been a cornerstone in civilizations. What cornerstone would clay build in a HOMOSEXUAL civilization, though? Flower pots, of course, to plant all the pretty flowers in.
>>220
Let's face it: Minecraft was a scam all along.
Notch made millions from taking an unfinished product, tricking the mature target audience that it was a game for them, and then tweaking it across every age group, until it ended up at child target audiences at the other end of the spectrum. Would he have declared Minecraft to be a kids game from the beginning, he would just be another mediocre developer, but instead he chose to scam every buyer above the age of 15 with false pretenses.
This is the post with the most clarity of the minecraft scam, he got me, and he got everyone to fall for it.
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Anonymous2012-09-12 4:05
With the final "Take THAT, homophobes!" (some months ago) Notch seems to have concluded his blog. I guess it explains why the creepers were penis shaped, and what the hidden agenda that the cryptic ending dialouge spoke about, was about.
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Anonymous2012-09-13 18:30
>>182
Yup, it's hilarious. Seems like a whole lotta butthurt in here.
Posts like this seem to justify some of the butthurt though. >>223
It's still pretty pathetic to get so worked up over a game. Wouldn't getting together and list and then produce a proper "fix", everything the game should have been, be far more productive?
>>226
Would I upload such a fix to the Minecraft forums, it would just be taken down for promoting rape. We're all rapists, remember?
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:)2012-10-02 11:08
:)
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:)2012-10-02 11:09
:)
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s the point of this?2012-10-02 11:10
What is the point of America?
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Anonymous2012-10-03 5:58
The beautiful, third planet in the Lupus system. My home: Canis. I remember the many lessons in school on how our planet was supposedly build. Many billions of years ago, a violent explosion destroyed a nearly star. The fiery rocks and molten material drifted for many lightyears, over a period of thirty billion years until they eventually came together to form a huge planetiod. Since nature could not possibly create an perfect circle, my planet became a warped sphere; burning and spinning in space.
Over a period of many more millennia, the planet matured. Gas clouds began to produce water, as well as an atmosphere. Oxygen was created. Then the first signs of life appeared. First as tiny microbes, then as larger amimals. From them my species evolved. We are known to humans as Canis Lupus; or more commonly known as wolves. Unlike wolves from the human homeworld; Earth, we are bipedal, and have developed a high intelligence. Personally, I'd rather walk down the street for a burger than to run a Kathruk to exaustion! Our basic life cycle lasts about 240 years, but the oldest Canine ever to live was 287.
Our civilization has grown in leaps and bounds. The first contact with other planets came when a life pod crashed on our planet approximately 134 years before I was born. My grandfather has told me the story many times. The two creatures in the pod died shortly after the crash. Our scientists began to examine the bodies and also began disassembling their spacecraft. We learned many things in the years that followed. Our first operational flying machine; the "HawkBat 9000", flew in the year 3056 (my planet's years). It was very spectacular to see; that is, with recordings made at the time. I would not be born for another 100 years.
During that 100 years, my people grew more aware of other beings in the galaxy, other than ourselves. We formed a government, ruled by two pair-bonded wolves; the Alpha Pair. They would rule until a stronger pair-bond could overthrow them. There were forty-three pair-bonds since the first, and we are now living in peace and harmony. One of our biggest achievements was when we sent a small probe into space to monitor our planet. We could make out details on Canis that had never been seen from such a point of view! The magazines I have read and films I watched in school were very nice, I loved my planet. I loved it enough to fight for it!
When I turned 42 (young for our species; around 20 human years), I joined the Flight Cadet Corps. We flew those rickety "HawkBat 9000"'s to try to hone our skills in preparation for the Governments new fighter; named the V-1 (no specific nickname was ever given, and all records have been lost) When I first saw it, I was amazed. Who could believe that we have evolved so much top have been able to build such a thing. It was a small box-like ship with three wings, a long tail, and a big jet engine. It was quite an experience, and different from the prop driven `9000'. The beautiful, third planet in the Lupus system. My home: Canis. I remember the many lessons in school on how our planet was supposedly build. Many billions of years ago, a violent explosion destroyed a nearly star. The fiery rocks and molten material drifted for many lightyears, over a period of thirty billion years until they eventually came together to form a huge planetiod. Since nature could not possibly create an perfect circle, my planet became a warped sphere; burning and spinning in space.
Over a period of many more millennia, the planet matured. Gas clouds began to produce water, as well as an atmosphere. Oxygen was created. Then the first signs of life appeared. First as tiny microbes, then as larger amimals. From them my species evolved. We are known to humans as Canis Lupus; or more commonly known as wolves. Unlike wolves from the human homeworld; Earth, we are bipedal, and have developed a high intelligence. Personally, I'd rather walk down the street for a burger than to run a Kathruk to exaustion! Our basic life cycle lasts about 240 years, but the oldest Canine ever to live was 287.
Our civilization has grown in leaps and bounds. The first contact with other planets came when a life pod crashed on our planet approximately 134 years before I was born. My grandfather has told me the story many times. The two creatures in the pod died shortly after the crash. Our scientists began to examine the bodies and also began disassembling their spacecraft. We learned many things in the years that followed. Our first operational flying machine; the "HawkBat 9000", flew in the year 3056 (my planet's years). It was very spectacular to see; that is, with recordings made at the time. I would not be born for another 100 years.
During that 100 years, my people grew more aware of other beings in the galaxy, other than ourselves. We formed a government, ruled by two pair-bonded wolves; the Alpha Pair. They would rule until a stronger pair-bond could overthrow them. There were forty-three pair-bonds since the first, and we are now living in peace and harmony. One of our biggest achievements was when we sent a small probe into space to monitor our planet. We could make out details on Canis that had never been seen from such a point of view! The magazines I have read and films I watched in school were very nice, I loved my planet. I loved it enough to fight for it!
When I turned 42 (young for our species; around 20 human years), I joined the Flight Cadet Corps. We flew those rickety "HawkBat 9000"'s to try to hone our skills in preparation for the Governments new fighter; named the V-1 (no specific nickname was ever given, and all records have been lost) When I first saw it, I was amazed. Who could believe that we have evolved so much top have been able to build such a thing. It was a small box-like ship with three wings, a long tail, and a big jet engine. It was quite an experience, and different from the prop driven `9000'.