HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL OF MY AMAZING STORIES THAT MANY HEARD, BUT OTHERS DIDNT. SO I HAVE OFFICIALLY FOUNDED THIS THREAD WHICH WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED WITH MY GREATEST HITS. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-27 15:40
#1
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I UNSHEATHED MY MUNGO MAN SPOUT FROM MY JEANS AND FLOPPED IT DOWN IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER - YOUR SENILE DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOUR TAPPED AT HER CEILING BECAUSE OF THE CLAMOR. YOUR MOM WAS BARELY ABLE TO NIBBLE AT MY PLUMP, PRODIGIOUS MEMBER BEFORE I GRABBED IT LIKE A LASSO AND SMACKED HER ACROSS THE FACE SO HARD SHE FLEW, SPINNING, ONTO THE BED BENT OVER - AWAITING THE ADMISSION OF MY THROBBING ACREAGE OF FLESH. SHE COULD ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS OF HALF MY SCROTAL CAMEL BEFORE SHE FAINTED. I FINISHED UP AND BESTOWED A STUNNING LIKENESS OF THE POPE ON HER BACK IN BABY SPACKLE. I USED HER TOOTH BRUSH AS TOILET PAPER AND LEFT A QUARTER ON HER ASS. SHE CALLED ME FOUR TIMES TODAY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-27 16:33 (sage)
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I HAD HUMILIATION SEX WITH A WOMAN THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELATED TO YOU. YOU LAUGHED AT IT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-28 0:09
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER-FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOU BEND DOWN TO PICK UP THE SOAP, I WILL APPEAR BEHIND YOU AND THRUST MY MASSIVE LOIN LOBSTER INTO YOUR TENDER YIELDING ASS? IN AN INSTANT, I DISH OUT A DOZEN GALLONS OF MY UNIQUE BLEND OF PREGNANCY SAUCE AND IM GONE, LEAVING YOU WITH ONLY THE INMATES BEHIND YOU AS A CLUE. NONE OF THEM WILL TELL YOU IT WAS ME, BECAUSE THEY'VE FELIT IT AS WELL AND FEAR MY CRUEL AND SWIFT RETRIBUTION. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-28 3:10 (sage)
HELLO. I AM NOT GEORGE ZIMMER, BUT JUST WANT TO SAY THAT ANY AND ALL POSTS BELOW THIS LINE WHICH ARE NOT GEORGE ZIMMER POSTS WILL BE DELETED. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE, I'D LIKE TO BEAT YOUR CHEST WITH MY ENORMOUSLY HEAVY, THROBBING PELVIC CROCODILE UNTIL I GEYSER A HUGE WATERFALL OF STICKY BABY DRESSING ON YOUR FACE. I'LL MOP IT UP WITH MY THICK HEAD AND SLAP IT ON YOUR LIPS SO THEY DON'T CHAP. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD YOUR DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS WILL NEED TO CHANGE THEIR SHEETS. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-28 11:13
HI IM GEROGE OJASP
I HAVE AMERICAN DOLLAR I PUT MY FIST INTO YOU PLS
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VIPPER2005-02-28 11:19 (sage)
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. MY WHOLE GIMMICK IS TALKING ABOUT MY REALLY BIG ERECTION AND HOW I USE IT. IT ISN'T REALLY FUNNY, AND TO MAKE IT WORSE, I POST IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME. YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO READ MORE THAN ONE OF MY POSTS TO GET THE JOKE. SO MOVE ON. YOU AREN'T MISSING ANYTHING. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-28 15:52
ZIMMER FUCKING ROCKS. KEEP THIS SHIT GOING, I LAUGH AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-02-28 18:17
this is funny because you guys talk like you don't understand english
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VIPPER2005-02-28 18:17
yeah i know, you are so smart, guy that posted above me
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VIPPER2005-02-28 18:18
thank you, i know, i have a college decree
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VIPPER2005-02-28 23:22
HI... I'm GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THOSE OF YOU WHO WORK OR SHOP DOWNTOWN MAY HAVE NOTICED A VERY LARGE NUMBER OF TOOTHLESS BRIDGET COSPLAYING GAY MALE PROSTITUTES. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM, YOU MAY WONDER. EVERY TIME I GO OUT TO EAT AT SOME WANNABE UPSCALE RESTAURANT SOME HOMO WAITER ALWAYS TAKES OFFENSE AT THE WORD 'FAGGOT'. IN RESPONSE, I USUALLY ASK IF THEY'RE GAY AND WHEN THEY SAY YES I WHIP OUT MY MARBLE HARD GRECIAN MANPOLE FROM MY PANTS AND SHOVE IT DOWN THEIR WHINY LITTLE THROATS, SHATTERING THEIR TEETH WITH MY SHEER BRUTAL MANLY MEATTHING. GRABBING THEIR BLONDE LOCKS I RIDE THEIR BUCKING BOYMOUTHS UNTIL THEY SQUEEL JUST LIKE THE LITTLE PETER POOFTS THEY FUCKING ARE. NEXT TIME THEY GO TO WORK IT'S ON THE STREET, IN BRIDGET GARB, MAKING ME MONEY. I GUARANTEE IT.
---------------NOW BACK TO GEORGE ZIMMER---------------
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VIPPER2005-02-28 23:51
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. THE OTHER WEEK I WAS IN JAPAN VISITING THE FACTORIES THAT MAKE MY CLOTHING. AS I STROLLED DOWN THE AISLE OF 8 YEAR OLD BOYS SITTING AT SEWING MACHINES, ONE ASKED "ZIMMA-SAN, DO YOU LIKE MY COATS?" AND SO I BROUGHT HIM UP TO MY SUITE AND TIED MY PANTS AROUND HIS EYES AS I WHIPPED OUT MY MASSIVE STEELY CROTCH CACTUS AND BLITZED HIS REAR. HIS SCREAMS WERE DROWNED OUT WHEN I PULLED MY BLOOD-COVERED GATOR OUT OF HIS ASS AND TOSSED IT DOWN HIS THROAT INTO HIS SOOT-FILLED LUNGS. HE CHOKED TO DEATH AFTER MY MAN MAYO COATED HIS FEW FUNCTIONING ALVEOLI. I LEFT TWO WEEKS PAY, JUST OVER 4 AMERICAN CENTS, WITH HIS SOBBING FAMILY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:18
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU BETTER START PRACTICING WITH 2 LITER COKE BOTTLES BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MY EXUBERANT EPIDERMAL CORDAGE. MY AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:19
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU BETTER START PRACTICING WITH 2 LITER COKE BOTTLES BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MY EXUBERANT EPIDERMAL CORDAGE. MY AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:24
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE'S GOT THAT ENORMOUS JAY LENO JAW WHICH MOST PEOPLE DON'T FIND ATTRACTIVE BUT THAT LARGE JAW ALLOWS ME TO CRAM EVERY FAT INCH OF MY GROIN EGGPLANT DOWN HER THROAT WHILE TEARS STREAM DOWN HER FACE AS SHE TRIES TO LIPSYNC THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. IF SHE BLACKS OUT, I JUST FLIP ON SPORTSCENTER AND CRACK OPEN A PABST ON HER BUCK TEETH. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:25
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. COME DOWN TO MEDICAL WAREHOUSE WAREHOUSE, WHERE WE CAN DIAGNOSE ANY DISEASE. YOU'RE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH MY AFFORDABLE, QUALITY SUITS, BUT WHAT YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW IS THAT I ALSO DIAGNOSE AND TREAT A VARIETY OF DISEASES. I LISTEN TO MY CUSTOMERS, AND MY CUSTOMERS WERE ASKING FOR MEDICAL ATTENTION. THAT'S WHY I'VE STARTED MEDICAL WAREHOUSE. WHEN YOU GO TO MEDICAL WAREHOUSE, YOU'LL BE IN A LOW PRESSURE ENVIRONMENT WHERE YOU CAN BE TREATED AT YOUR OWN PACE. WHETHER YOU NEED PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION, MINOR SURGERY, OR JUST WANT TO GET CHECKED, UP MEDICAL WAREHOUSE HAS THE TREATMENT TO FIT YOU. AND IN THE EVENT THAT YOU DIE OF MALPRACTICE YOUR CORPSE WILL BE PLACED IN A COMPLIMENTARY SUIT; EVEN IF YOU'RE A UNIQUE SIZE WE WILL FIND A SUIT TO LET YOU REST IN DIGNITY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:26
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE.. I WOULD LIKE TO FUCK YOU NICE AND DEEP IN THE SHOWER - YOUR FIST CLENCHING HALF OF MY COCK AT THE BASE WHILE THE OTHER HALF SLOWLY PENETRATES YOU. YOU WILL BE BLINDFOLDED WITH A HAIR FULL OF SHAMPOO WHILE RECITING THE LYRICS TO THE BEATLES' ROCKY RACOON. WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT GIDEON'S BIBLE, I WILL IGNITE MY COCK FUSE AND BLOW A LOAD SO HUGE YOU'LL GROW AN ADAM'S APPLE. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:28
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. APPARENTLY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT ASCII TEXT TAKES UP LESS BANDWIDTH THAN IMAGES, WHICH IS TO BE EXPECTED FROM AN ASS-DRAGGING MAN WHORE LIKE YOURSELF THAT GETS KICKED OFF THE GOOD CORNERS BY TWELVE YEAR OLD BOYS LOOKING FOR EXTRA INCOME TO SUPPORT THEIR POKEMON ADDICTIONS. IF YOU'RE EVER INTERESTED IN BECOMING A REAL MAN, COME BY THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE WHERE I CAN GIVE YOU A TESTOSTERONE INFUSION IN THE BACK ALLEY WITH MY PATENTED PULSATING MAN HAMMER. I'LL SPREAD YOUR ASS CHEEKS WIDER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH, AND I'LL PLUNGE MY THUNDERING FLESH REDWOOD INTO YOUR WINKING PINK CHRYSANTHEMUM. SLIPPING ON MY STEEL WOOL GLOVES, I'LL GRAB YOUR MINISCULE QUIVERING JOYSTICK AND VIGOROUSLY MASSAGE IT UNTIL IT STANDS UP HARDER AND STRAIGHTER THAN A MARINE AT SHORT ARM INSPECTION WITH HIS FAVORITE DRILL SARGEANT. WHEN I FINALLY UNLEASH MY SHOWER OF MAN MAYONNAISE INTO YOUR COLON YOUR INNARDS WILL PULSATE IN JOYOUS ABANDON AND YOUR NIPPLES WILL EXPLODE WITH DELIGHT, RAINING MY SEX SAUCE DOWN UPON UNWARY PASSERSBY WHO WILL COWER IN FEAR OF THE SECOND COMING. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:30
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE - HEY PENCILDICK, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU MADE A WOMAN SING WHILE YOU THRUST YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WARRIOR'S GREATSWORD INTO HER GAPING MAW? I RECALL ONE OF THOSE TIMES I CAME ACROSS ONE OF YOUR LAME EXCUSES OF A LOVE AFFAIR, ONLY TO DRAG HER TO A MOTEL SIX AND GIVE HER A RIDE ON MY INTENSELY MEATY MUSHROOM. SHE WAS SO ESTATIC, SHE STARTED SINGING "OH HOLY NIGHT," ONLY SHE NEVER GOT TO HOLY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:35
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO FLIP YOU SIDEWAYS ON TOP OF AN UPRIGHT PIANO, GRAB YOU BY THE PONY TAILS, AND FUCK YOU DEEP WHILE YOU RECITE THE POEM O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN. YOU'LL COME SO HARD I'LL NEED AN UMBRELLA. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 0:38
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU CAN REMINISCE ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD WHILE I WREAK HAVOC ON YOUR CERVIX. I'LL GRAB YOUR TITS AND YOU'LL COME SO HARD YOUR EYE PATCH WILL FLIP. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 1:06
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE YOU OGGLE MY HIGH QUALITY SUITS AT LOW LOW PRICES I'M GOING TO RIDE YOUR 48 WAIST WITH MY MACE OF RAPING +5. I'LL ROLL A NATURAL 20 AND YOUR ORGASM WILL BE SO PROFOUND THAT THE DM WILL FEEL IT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 1:12
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONCE IN A WHILE I DECIDE THAT ME AND THE MISSUES NEED A BREAK FROM THE NON-STOP ROUTINE OF WORK AND HOUSEWORK, SO WE TAKE A DAY TRIP. USUALLY I ASK HER WHAT ROMANTIC COMEDY SHE'D LIKE TO SEE AND WHERE SHE WOULD LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER. AFTER WE GET HOME I DRAW HER A NICE, SOOTHING BATH AND BRING HER IN A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL AND LISTEN WHILE SHE TELLS ME ALL THE THINGS ON HER MIND. AFTER I MESSAGE HER FEET I SING HER TO SLEEP WITH MY SOOTHING BARITONE. THEN I RAPE THE FAMILY DOG. I GUARANTEE IT!
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VIPPER2005-03-01 1:25
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THIS IS AN INTERACTIVE INTERNET STORYLINE, WHERE YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CLUES TO FIGURE OUT WHERE MY PRODIGIOUS PHALLIC PROTUBERANCE ENDED UP LAST NIGHT. YOUR MOM LIVES ON A FARM IN THE MIDDLE OF BUMFUCK, MISSISSIPPI. LIFE IS STAGNANT UNTIL ONE DAY SHE WAKES UP WITH BOTH HER WITHERED FUCKHOLES STRETCHED WIDER THAN THE GRAND CANYON AND HER SAGGING MOUNDS SLATHERED IN AN EXTRA THICK COATING OF STICKY BABY SYRUP. FROM MULTIPLE POSITIONS I'LL GET TO CRACK YOUR MOM'S GAPING GASH, THEN LAMBASTE HER FACE WITH A TORRENTIAL RAIN OF MAN MUSTARD IN AN AWE INSPIRING LIKENESS OF VAN GOGH'S STARRY NIGHT. MY FLESH-HULLED RAPE BATTLESHIP WILL RAVAGE YOUR MOM'S ANAL HARBOR ALL THROUGH MARCH. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 1:40
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. A WEEK AND A HALF AGO IN AN ALLEY BEHIND HER WORKPLACE I THRUST MY INHUMANLY TURGID MEMBER INTO YOUR SISTER'S ANAL CAVITY. AS MY GARGANTUAN MEAT SPEAR PENETRATED HER BUTT PIPE SHE SCREAMED AND FAINTED, SMASHING HER FACE AGAINST THE HARD ASPHALT OF THE ALLEY. I FLIPPED HER OVER AND PULLED MY LOG OUT, TAKING CARE NOT TO GET BLOOD ON MY AMAZINGLY DAPPER SUIT AND THEN PROCEEDED TO FIRE MY JIZZ ROCKET ONTO HER GLASSES AND PUCKERED NIPPLES. PROMPTLY AFTER SHOVING HER IN THE TRUNK OF MY LEXUS I DROVE OFF INTO THE DARK NIGHT ONLY TO DROP HER OFF AT A REST STOP MOTEL WITH $1.50 IN CHANGE TO CALL A CAB. SHE ENDED UP TAKING A BUS HOME WHILE CALLING ME 6 TIMES ON MY CELL PHONE. WHEN I ANSWER ALL I HEAR IS WIMPERING AND A LOW MOAN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 1:51
HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I GUARNTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 3:30
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I WAS VISITING WITH MY BUDDIES IN THE SOVIET ARMY-- I WAS PLUGGING THOSE BUM-BOYS WITH SOLID BULLETS FROM MY 45MM PUMP ACTION YOGURT RIFLE WHEN I HEARD THAT BABYBATTER WAS DESPEATELY NEEDED TO FERTILIZE YOUR MOM'S WRINKLED MUCOUS-FLOWER. WELL, I FLEW RIGHT ON OVER AND PLUNGED MY AUGER-HEADED GUT WRENCH STRAIGHT INTO HER PULSATING FLESH CANYONS AND BEFORE LONG SHE'D DIED FROM THE PRESSURE OF MY MASSIVE BLUE-VEINED PUSS CHUCKER. I BOUNCED THAT CORPSE ON MY KIDNEY CRACKER LIKE A WELFARE MOM'S RENT CHEQUE AND BEFORE I KNEW IT MY GARGANTUAN TROUSER FLUTE WAS SPEWING ACIDIC BABY BATTER THAT FORMED THE LIKENESS OF THE VIRGIN MARY ON THE WALL. TEN THOUSAND MEXICANS CAME TO SEE. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 3:36
HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AIDS. ONE NIGHT WITH ME, AND I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 15:41
MEN'S WEARHOUSE BURNED DOWN IN 1979. STOP DELUDING YOURSELVES
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VIPPER2005-03-01 19:23
HI. YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 22:12
The men's wearhouse isn't a physical PLACE, it's a state of engorged penistude.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 22:46 (sage)
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I JUST WENT THROUGH PUBERTY AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN BEATING MY MEAT LIKE A DRAFT HORSE EVERY CHANCE I GET AND THEN POSTING ABOUT IT IN ALL CAPS. I WISH I COULD TALK TO GIRLS BUT THEY HATE THE WAY I'M ALWAYS SHOUTING ABOUT MY BRAND NEW PUBIC HAIRS AND THIS AMAZING EJACULATE THAT COMES OUT IN TINY SPURTS AFTER A FRANTIC SESSION OF DOLPHIN POUNDING IN THE JR. HIGH SCHOOL BOYS ROOM OR SOMETIMES IN THE BACK CORNER OF THE LIBRARY WHERE ALL THE DICTIONARIES ARE KEPT I SURE DO LIKE MASTURBATING AND THEN POSTING ABOUT IT. THE NEXT UPDATE TO MY JACKING WILL PROBABLY BE JUST BEFORE I GO TO BED TONIGHT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 23:15
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHEN I STALK A BLUE HAIRED REIBITCH OFF THE INTERNET, SHE NEVER FREAKS OUT AND CALLS THE COPS, AT LEAST NOT AFTER SHE'S HAD A GANDER AT MY SUPERB SEX SAUSAGE. WHEN I WHIP OUT MY TITANIC TOOL THE REACTION I GET IS ALWAYS THE SAME, SHE DROPS TO HER KNEES AND HER LIPS BEGIN TO QUIVER IN ANTICIPATION. I LET HER SLOBBER ON MY MAN HANDLE FOR A WHILE, THEN I GRAB HER BY HER BLUE HAIR AND FORCE MY THROAT ROCKET DOWN HER ESOPHAGUS. SHE INSTANTLY DRIBBLES CUNT SAUCE ON THE FLOOR AND STARTS JACKHAMMERING MY MEAT MONSTER. I BLOW A LOAD OF TONSIL LUBE DOWN HER THROAT WHICH KEEPS HER FULL FOR A WEEK. SHE CALLS ME SO MUCH I HAVE TO BLOCK HER NUMBER. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 23:38
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUND AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AT THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE WE'RE KNOWN FOR OUR HIGH QUALITY, AND LOW PRICES. SOMETIMES SOME DISGRUNTLED SHOPPER WILL COME UP TO ME AND SAY 'GEORGE, I CAN GET THIS SAME EXACT SUIT FOR $200 LESS AT YOUR COMPETITORS'! CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS?' WHEN ASKED A QUESTION LIKE THAT I USUALLY TURN, LOOK THE CUSTOMER COOLY IN THE EYE AND SAY 'BUT THEIR SUITS DO NOT HAVE THE BUDDHA NATURE.' SINCE THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK A BUDDHA IS, THEY LAP IT AND LEAVE A GENEROUS TIP BESIDES! I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 23:41
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, AND I HAVE AN APPLE ][ COMPUTER.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 14:50
george zimmer ran out of gas apparently--
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VIPPER2005-03-03 15:21
No stamina, that George Zimmer.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 16:03
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUND AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE AND I CLAIM THE 44TH POST IN THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN OF SPAIN.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 17:38 (sage)
>>43
Yeah, he sure talks a good fuck, but when it's time to whip it out, he's weeping out back by the dumpsters cradling his limp stack of dimes in his shaking hands.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 19:02
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THE OTHER DAY I WAS WASHING MY PURPLE WARRIOR ARMOR IN THE CAR WASH TUNNEL DOWN MY STREET WHEN I SAW A WOMAN SO HEAVENLY HOT I'D DRIVE MY MONSTROUSLY SIZED IMPREGNATOR THROUGH ALL OF HER HOLES FOR SEVERAL LAPS, WHILE READING THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS OUT LOUD. SHE'D COME SO HARD ALL RELIGIONS WOULD BELIEVE THE FLOOD IS BACK. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER, BUT HOIT DAMN, HIS MOM CAN SIZUCK MY COCK DOWN WHILE I FINGER HER ASS 3 KNUCKLE STYLEZ WITH ONE HAND AND STRETCH HER NIPPLES OUT FAR ENOUGH TO FUCK HER WITH THEM WITH MY OTHER HAND. IF YOU AN AFFORD PENICILIAN (cause ass this easy comes with critters) I STRONLY SUGGEST TEA-BAGGIN HER ONCE OR TWICE. FOR THE RECORD, SHE TOSSES A MEAN SALAD ON THE SIDE. I GARUNTEE IT.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, PRESIDENT AND CEO OF MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOUR SISTER DEFINETLY NEEDED YOUR PROTECTION LAST NIGHT AS I RAMMED MY MONOLITHIC BEEF HAMMER INTO HER PRECIOUS LITTLE JIZZWELL. HER TINY HIPS WERE BARELY ABLE TO CONTAIN THE FULL LIQUID VOLUME OF MY SPECIAL FORMULA NUT BATTER, SO IN A FLASH, I RAMMED THE TEN YARDS OF MANFLESH GOD BESTOWED UPON ME INTO HER NASAL CANAL. I GUARANTEE IT.
LOL. short, descriptive and humourus, best one ive heard in a while.
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VIPPER2005-03-11 17:33
Original Zimmer rocks.
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VIPPER2005-03-26 6:38
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE ASHLEE OUT FOR A PICNIC IN A PARK, LIE HER DOWN COMPLETELY FLAT ON THE PICNIC BLANKET, BALANCE A PABST ON HER BACK, AND RIGOROUSLY VIOLATE HER FROM BEHIND - QUIZZING HER ON BASIC GEOMETRY IN SWEDISH WHILE SHE HAS A MOUTFUL OF A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH AND ANTS CRAWLING INTO HER ARMPITS. SHE WILL CUM SO HARD HER FACE WILL MELT LIKE THAT NAZI ASS IN RAIDERS. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI....I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT WHILE MAKING ROOM IN MRS. ZIMMER'S CRAPSHOOT OF BANANNA JUICE STORAGE WITH MY ARM, I DECIDED TO GET FREAKY AND HELPED HER DO HER BEST ANGRY PIRATE IMPERSONATION BY STRATEGICALLY FIRING A FEW ROUNDS OF .50 BABY PARKAY IN HER LEFT EYE, THROWWING SAND IN MY SALTY JUICES OF TONSIL DELIGHT, KICKED HER IN THE RIGHT SHIN AND RAN. AFTER AN HOUR OF 1 EYE, GIMP LEG HOBBLING, I GAVE IN, GAGGED HER ESOPHOGUS WITH MY BULBOUS TUBE MEAT TILL I DROPPED A SECOND DOSING IN HER MOUTH. BEFORE SHE COULD SWALLOW, I PULLED OUT AND SOCKED HER IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL MAKING IT SPURT OUT HER NOSE LIKE AN ANGRY DRAGON. I GARUNTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-27 15:10
HI... I TYPE IN CAPS LOCK AND TELL TALES OF ME FUCKING PEOPLE WITH MY GENITALS WHICH ARE HUGE LOL
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VIPPER2005-03-27 19:03
HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER AND I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. BRIDGET HAS MADE ME GAY IN A MAJOR WAY!
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VIPPER2005-04-13 16:39
HI, IM GEORGE ZIMMER <insert rediculous penis slang>, <insert rape/sex with either a family member or someone who the topic pertains>, <insert personal guarantee>
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VIPPER2005-04-14 7:18
to whom the topic pertains
fuxed [sic]
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VIPPER2005-05-02 23:40
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I'VE SNEEZED BIGGER LOADS THAN THAT.
THAT'S MERELY A DROP IN THE OCEAN OF MAN CHOWDER THAT I DELIVER TO YOUR CUM GUZZLING SLUT OF A MOTHER EVERY OTHER NIGHT. SHE'S NEVER CONSCIOUS FOR IT, THOUGH, BECAUSE NO WOMAN CAN TAKE MY COLOSSAL MEAT CANNON WITHOUT BLACKING OUT FROM A BEAUTIFUL MELANGE OF ECSTACY AND PAIN. I STILL SMOTHER HER IN STEAMING POLE PUDDING. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-05-02 23:41
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, PRESIDENT AND CEO OF MEN'S WAREHOUSE. IF YOU LOW-LIFE WANNABE COCK PHEASANTS CONTINUE TO SHATTER MY GOOD NAME WITH HORRID AND TASTELESS ANECDOTES, I WILL FORCE MY COLOSSAL SPERM-WHALE UP YOUR SHIT SHOOT SO FAR THAT YOUR ANCESTORS IN HEAVEN WILL HAVE THEIR TEETH KNOCKED OUT FROM BEHIND. I GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-05-10 9:16
hey, what happened to the "nose ring will magnetize" one? that was my favorite
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VIPPER2005-05-19 3:23
HI....I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I HAD THE CRAVING FOR NACHOS AND WAS CONFUSED WHERE TO GO FOR A GOOD HARDY MEAL. I THEN PROCEDED TO CALL MISS ZIMMERMAN TO SEE IF SHE COULD HELP ME OUT. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY SHE HAS EVERYTHING I NEED. WE THEN DRANK A FEW SHOTS OF JIM BEAN AND AT THAT POINT I RAMED MY TROBBING CEVIX HAMMER IN HER ASS WHILE POURING VELVITA CHEESE ON HER CHEEKS.
YOUR MOTHER IN LAW CAME UP, TUGED MY ASS ROCKET WHILE YOUR SHOULD OF BEEN ABORTION OF A SON BAPTISED YOUR WIFE WITH HIS HOLY STICK. I THEN PULLED OUT AND GRABBED A CHIP AND WAITED FOR HER SPECAL CHILI TO COME POURING OUT HER LOOSE ASS WHILE YOUR MOTHER IN LAW SLAPPED ON A DIRTY SHANCEZ ACROSS HER FACE FLINGING MY LITTLE SWIMMERS EVERY WHERE. I THINK TOMMOROW WE'LL HAVE POT ROAST. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-05-19 9:46
HI.....I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I CAME HOME FROM THE OFFICE LATE AND IRRITABLE AFTER A LONG POINTLESS DAY FULL OF MEETINGS WITH SIMPERING WEAK-WILLED MIDDLE MANAGERS WHO REFUSE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING IF THEY CAN POSSIBLE WORM THEIR WAY OUT OF IT AND I ORDERED A CHEESE AND SAUSAGE PAN PIZZA FROM PIZZA HUT AND I ATE PART OF IT AND WENT TO BED. WHEN I WOKE UP, I ATE THE REST OF THE PIZZA BEFORE TAKING A SHOWER, PUTTING ON AN ARMANI I HAD IN THE CLOSET AND THEN GOING TO WORK AGAIN.
HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I GET ASKED ALOT AS TO WHETHER I THINK MY ANECDOTES ARE FUNNY. WHEN ASKED THAT I CAN'T HELP BUT SUCKERPUNCH THEM IN THE STOMACH. AND WHEN THEY'RE REELING ON THE CEMENT HOLDING THEMSELVES IN PAIN I PULL THEM UP ONTO THEIR KNEES AND I STICK MY FLESHY METER STICK INTO THEIR EAR AND FILL THEIR SKULL WITH MY STICKY WHITE COCK SPIT AS THEY'RE SCREAMING OBSCENETIES. GUARNTEE IT.
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. THE OTHER WEEK I WAS IN JAPAN VISITING THE FACTORIES THAT MAKE MY CLOTHING. AS I STROLLED DOWN THE AISLE OF 8 YEAR OLD BOYS SITTING AT SEWING MACHINES, ONE ASKED "ZIMMA-SAN, DO YOU LIKE MY COATS?" AND SO I BROUGHT HIM UP TO MY SUITE AND TIED MY PANTS AROUND HIS EYES AS I WHIPPED OUT MY MASSIVE STEELY CROTCH CACTUS AND BLITZED HIS REAR. HIS SCREAMS WERE DROWNED OUT WHEN I PULLED MY BLOOD-COVERED GATOR OUT OF HIS ASS AND TOSSED IT DOWN HIS THROAT INTO HIS SOOT-FILLED LUNGS. HE CHOKED TO DEATH AFTER MY MAN MAYO COATED HIS FEW FUNCTIONING ALVEOLI. I LEFT TWO WEEKS PAY, JUST OVER 4 AMERICAN CENTS, WITH HIS SOBBING FAMILY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-01 21:10
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER- FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THIS REMINDS ME OF A STORY INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER AND AN EGGPLANT. IT WAS JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, AND WE WEREN'T TEN SECONDS AWAY FROM THE STREETCORNER WHERE I PICKED HER UP WHEN SHE UNHINGED HER JAW ATTEMPTING TO PLAY TONSIL HOCKEY WITH THE ZIMMER ZAMBONI. I THOUGHT ABOUT OPENING THE DOOR AND TOSSING HER OUT RIGHT THEN, BUT THEN I'D BE OUT 3 SHINY DIMES, SO I FLIPPED HER OVER AND SKEWERED HER ON MY BEEF KABOB, THEN HAMMERED HER HEAD AGAINST THE CEILING SO HARD THAT SHE MADE A NEW SUNROOF. I THOUGHT SHE WAS STILL CONSCIOUS AT THIS POINT, SO I YELLED AT THE DRIVER TO FIND SOME LOW TREES TO DRIVE THROUGH. IT MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE A MOVING GAME OF WHACK-A-MOLE. AFTER I WAS DONE BUSHWHACKING HER FROM BOTH ENDS, I GLAZED HER ASS LIKE A KRISPY KREME DONUT AND LEFT HER NAKED IN A DITCH IN FRONT OF A 7-11. I FORGOT EXACTLY WHERE THE EGGPLANT CAME INTO THE STORY, BUT SHE WAS BACK THE NEXT NIGHT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-01 21:10
I'm George Zimmer of the Men's Wearhouse. How does it feel to have over 23 distinct species of rainforest life spinning out of control in that gaping cunt of yours? That tingling sensation is a yeast infection so severe you could bake bread. I guarantee it.
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VIPPER2005-06-01 21:10
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MENS WEARHOUSE. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE YOU NIGGER LOVING PILE OF INTESTINAL FECES - ILL RIP YOUR BOWELS OUT AND FEAST ON THEM, THEN I'LL IMPREGNATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND WAIT 7 MONTHS THEN UNWRAVEL HER BELLY BUTTON AND SUCK OUT ALL THE VAGINAL DISCHARGE AND FEAST UPON THE BABY. I WILL FORNICATE YOUR LIVER, THEN MAKE YOU GUZZLE GALLON AFTER GALLON OF PUTRID DIARRHEA. YOU WILL GAG ON MY GREEN LOGS OF ASSHOLE MUD BUTTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD POST ABOUT MY LATEST EXPLOITS, BUT IT IS A BIT DIFFICULT TO TYPE WHILE RAMMING MY ENORMOUS CROTCH CHARIOT UP YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER'S BLEEDING ASS SO HARD THAT THE VIBRATIONS CAUSE NEW TSUNAMIS IN INDONESIA. I WILL BE BACK, THOUGH. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-20 1:08
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I CAN BREAK BOTH PILES OF BRICKS COMBINED WITH MY MASSIVELY MEATY GROIN PROTUBERATION. ONE SWIFT AND POWERFUL BLOW FROM MY EDIFICE OF VIRILITY VIRTUALLY SHATTERS THE PUNY SLABS. SPACERS? MERE CHILD'S PLAY. IF ANYTHING FEELS PAIN, IT'S THE BRICKS AS THEY FALL VICTIM TO THE CRUSHING POWER OF MY INESCAPABLY HUMONGOUS YOGURT SLINGER. THEY'LL STILL CALL ME BACK FOR MORE, THOUGH. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-21 16:20
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. WHEN I FIT DUDES WITH SUITS I SURREPTICIOUSLY FINGER THEIR BALLS AND ASS. YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU BITCH! THAT'S WHY I HAVE SUCH A LOYAL CLIENTELE! I STRETCHED 400 ANUSES TO THE SIZE OF THE GOATSE MAN IN THE PAST HOUR - I GUARANTEE IT!
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE - I GUARANTEE IT!
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VIPPER2005-06-24 11:12
99
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VIPPER2005-06-24 11:12
100GET
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VIPPER2005-06-24 16:12
101GET... I GUARANTEE IT!
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VIPPER2005-07-06 1:53
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE I WAS CHECKING MY WEEKLY SUIT SALES IN MY LAPTOP, I RECIEVED AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL TELLING ME THAT THE SITE 4CHAN WAS IN NEED OF SOME URGENT MONEY DUE TO BAD ADMINISTRATION. I TOOK A PLANE TO MEXICO, WENT DOWNTOWN UNTIL I FOUND A NERDY 4-EYED PUNK WHO WAS TRYING TO BUY SOME CHEAP HOOKERS WITH HIS GRANDMOTHERS INSULIN. SO I TOOK OUT MY .457, BUSTED HIS KNEECAPS, WRAPPED A GLORYHOLE ON HIS EYEBALL AND PROCEEDED TO PIERCE HIS MALFORMED SKULL WITH MY MEAT FLAVORED WIFFLE BAT. AS I THRUSTED DEEPER INTO HIS CRANIAL CAVITY, EACH POKE OF MY SALAMY STURGEON TRIGGERED REPRESSED MEMORIES IN HIS BRAIN WHICH MADE HIM SING "UNDER THE SEA" 33 TIMES UNTIL HE ENTERED A SEIZURE DUE TO BRAIN DAMAGE. AS I WITNESSED HIS TWITCHING BODY LAYING ON THE HOT SANDS OF MEXICO CITY I COULD ONLY FEEL PITY FOR HIS POOR SOUL, SO I GRIPPED MY TOTEM OF BABILONIC PROPORTIONS AND SMACKED HIS HEAD SIDEWAYS CRACKING HIS NECK PUTTING AN END TO HIS PAIN. MY ABSTAINED ORGASM CAME IN HANDY AT EVADING THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES AND ENSURED MY SAFE RETURN. AFTER CHEMICALLY BLINDING SEVERAL BEANERCOPS I STOLE THEIR WALLETS AND DONATED 2 PESOS TO 4CHAN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-07-31 4:04
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AS YOU PATHETICALLY ENDOWED INTERNERDS GRASP YOUR INFERIOR TOOLS, READY AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE TO MASTURBATE DRAMAIOUSLY TO MY NEXT OUTSTANDINGLY WITTY POST, I AM IN YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM, POSTING FROM MY INSANELY EXPENSIVE LAPTOP. THAT'S RIGHT, SHE'S RIDING MY GARGANTUAN LOVE TUBE LIKE A KENTUCKY DERBY JOCKEY. SOON, SHE WILL LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS AS A RESULT OF THE INTENSE PENETRATION AND OVERWHELMING PLEASURE I AM SWIFTLY AND UNMERCIFULLY DELIVERING, AND I WILL UNLEASH UPON HER FACE A TSUNAMI OF MAN FROSTING, THE MAGNITUDE OF WHICH HAS NOT BEEN SEEN BY MAN OUTSIDE OF INDONESIA. SHE'LL CALL ME BACK WHILE YOU'RE AT SCHOOL TOMORROW, I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-07-31 4:06
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WAS IN MY OFFICE ON THE 34TH FLOOR WHEN FROM THE STREET BELOW THERE CAME QUITE A RUCKUS. PEERING OUT OVER THE COMMOTON, I SOON CAME TO REALIZE THAT THERE HAD BEEN AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT OF MYTHIC PROPORTIONS INVOlVING A TRUCK CONTAINING HAZARDOUS MATERIAL. THE CHOICE WAS NOT MINE TO LEAP FROM THE OPEN WINDOW TO THE STREET BELOW TO OFFER WHATEVER HELP COULD BE OFFERED BY MY SLEEK AND SEXY SEVERAL-STORY SEMINAL SUPER-SOAKER. THE FALL TO THE STREET WORRIED ME NOT SINCE IT WAS EASY TO ASSUME THAT THE AIR DRAG ON MY HAIRY HOOKER-HOSER WOULD SLOW MY DESCENT TO THE POINT OF SAFETY. THE FIRE THAT RAVAGED THROUGH THE STEETS AND DOWN ALLEYS SUCCUMBED TO MY COPIOUS AND CRASHING COCKPASTE CARGO IN WHAT SEEMED TO THOSE CAUGHT IN THE BLAZE TO BE MILLISECONDS. THE IMMENSELY MASCULINE STINK OF MY OCEAN OF SEED SIZZLING ON THE SUPERHEATED PAVEMENT CAUSED ACCIDENT VICTIMS WITHIN WHAT I LATER LEARNED TO BE AN EIGHT-BLOCK RADIUS TO WEEP IN HOPELESSLY INTENSE LUST. BLOODY TRAILS RAN FROM THE OVERLY ENGORGED GENITALS OF MANY OF THEM DUE TO THEIR INCAPACITY TO PREPARE FOR THE INFLUX OF BLOOD CAUSED BY THE SIGNAL BEING TRANSMITTED FROM THEIR OLFACTORY LOBES. A FAIR YOUNG WOMAN APPROACHED, SOAKED TO THE ABSOLUTE IN MY VERY OWN STICKY GENETIC STEW, AND WORDLESSLY KISSED THE TIP OF MY HUMONGOUSLY HEAVY HUMAN HAMMER, PRESUMABLY IN THANKS FOR MY SELFLESS DEED OF SEXUAL SPECTACULARITY. THE RESULTING FORCE WITH WHICH MY REMAINING RECTUM-READY RESERVOIR WAS DISCHARGED IN BETWEEN HER AWAITING LIPS TORE HER HEAD CLEANLY FROM HER NECK. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-07-31 5:08
<Inst>
you know you can add name by clicking on the add reply link next to the box. It's just better with george zimmer quality.
rock on, zimmerman!
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VIPPER2005-07-31 5:11
<Inst>
by the way guys, when you sage george zimmer, you're proving your own stupidity. He's fucking hilarious, I mean, you know what he's saying obviously can't be true, but the way he delivers it and the way vippers get annoyed...
If you are not teh gay, you did not sagey the rei... er, george zimmer. If you do, you're just biting trollbait.
where is the zimmer? \= George Zimmer rocks so hard, almost as hard as Reidick
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VIPPER2005-08-03 23:59
<Inst>
where is the zimmer? \= George Zimmer rocks so hard, almost as hard as Reidick
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VIPPER2005-08-05 16:42
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON A RECENT BUSINESS TRIP TO TOKYO, I FOUND MYSELF IN A VIDEO ARCADE, WHERE ONE OF THE LOCAL TEENAGE BOYS WAS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE UP FOR HIS UNFATHOMABLY TINY TWAT TACKLE BY PLAYING "DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION" IN FRONT OF A GROUP OF JIGGLY-CHESTED JAPANESE JAILBAIT.
SCOFFING AT HIS SCANDALOUSLY SIMPLISTIC SKILLS, I PROCEDED TO LIBERATE MY TWITCHING TESTICULAR TRUNCHEON AND SWING ITS PRECIPITOUS POUNDAGE INTO THE YOUTH'S FACE, CRUSHING HIS SKULL AND FREEING THE MACHINE. I THEN ACHIEVED A RATING OF "AAA" ON THE SONG "MAX 300" USING ONLY THE RAPID RIPPLING OF MY RAUCOUSLY RIGID RAPEROD.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE WET-PANTIED WOMANLY WATCHERS WERE ALREADY IN THE THROES OF PASSION FROM THE OVERPOWERING SCENT OF MY TORPID TESTOSTERONE TUBE, SO I LET THEM GATHER 'ROUND FOR A GROUP HUG OF THE GARGANTUAN GIRTH OF MY GORGEOUS GUY-GIRDER BEFORE CONQUERING EACH OF THEIR QUIXOTICALLY QUIVERING QUIMS WITH A FURIOUS FOUNTAIN OF FROTHING FUCK-FOAM.
MY HIGH SCORE HAS NEVER BEEN BEATEN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-05 17:09
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IT IS ONCE IN A BLUE MOON THAT I ENCOUNTER AS FANCIFUL A FEMALE AS I DID YESTERDAY ON THE PUBLIC BEACH I VISIT FROM TIME TO TIME. SHE WAS WORKING AS A LIFEGUARD AND UPON MY NOTICE OF HER, CLEARED THE BEACH BY WRAPPING HER LIPS EAGERLY AROUND HER WHISTLE LIKE SHE SOON WOULD MY SWOLLEN GENITALIA, AS SHE MISTOOK THEM FOR A BEACHED WHALE AND ITS SUCKLING BABIES. NOW ALONE WITH HER ON THE BEACH, I WAS ABLE TO SAY HER A FOND HELLO BY CASUALLY TOSSING MY SEA-SALTED, SUPER-SIZED, SANDY SEMEN SMOOTHIE SECRETING SALMON STICK DOWN HER THROAT. IT WAS AT THE MOST UNFORTUNATE MOMENT THAT THE BEAST ARRIVED FROM THE SEA. A MIGHTY CRASHING WAVE BROUGHT WITH IT A HUNGRY ORCA WHO FOUND IT FIT TO TAKE A HEARTY CHOMP OUT OF MY STATUESQUE SLOBBERING SEA SNAKE, AND TOOK WITH IT A PORTION OF MY UNDERSTATED YET ELEGANT ARMANI SWIM TRUNKS. FORTUNATELY, THE SIZE OF THE LEVIATAN BETWEEN MY LEGS RENDERED THE ORCA'S MEAL A MERE SCRATCH. IMMEDATELY PRE-COITUS, I REMOVED THE PUDDING-PUMPING PENILE POSEIDON FROM MY FEMALE COMPANION'S STOMACH AND WASHED THE CREATURE 6 NAUTICAL MILES BACK OUT TO SEA WITH A REPRODUCTIVE MUDSLIDE THAT RAISED THE OCEAN'S SALINITY BY A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-07 14:45
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER. I GUARENTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-07 17:29
HI, I GUARENTEE I'M GEORGE ZIMMER.
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VIPPER2005-08-09 1:58
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I'M SO LONELY I COULD BURST. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-09 3:13
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. SOME DAYS I TELL MY DAUGHTER HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM IN HER JUST TO MAKE HER CRY. I USUALLY FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER I SPATTER SOME KNUCKLE JELLY ON HER JAW. IT'S ALWAYS BETTER WHEN THE GIRL IS CRYING. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>120
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. SOME DAYS I TELL MY DAUGHTER HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM IN HER JUST TO MAKE HER CRY. WHILE SHE SOBS, I EXPOSE MY MASSIVE MOUND OF MAN MUTTON AND THRUST IT TRIUMPHANTLY INTO HER PUDDING POT, GRUNTING LIKE A BEAR THE WHOLE TIME. BY 6:30 TONIGHT SHE'LL BE CRYING TEARS MADE OF MY WONDERFUL WHITE LOVE LOTION, AND SHE'LL BEG FOR MORE. IT'S ALWAYS BETTER WHEN THE GIRL IS CRYING. I GUARANTEE IT.
fixed
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VIPPER2005-09-13 2:36
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU MIGHT OF HEARD OF ME FROM SUCH MOVIES AS: THREE BABIES AND THEN THE MAIN COURSE; THE PREDATOR AND THE PRESCHOOL; A PREACHERS PRIDE; THE RETURN OF THE PREACHER: THE UNTOLD TOUCHING. IN THE PROCESS OF SPANKING MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER I NOTICED THAT SHE WAS WEARING A THINY SHEER WHITE THONG. WITH THE GRACE OF A CARRIER PIDGEON AND THE STRENGTH OF AN OX, I THREW HER BODY SKYWARD WHILE SIMULTANIOUSLY DISROBING FROM THE WAIST DOWN AND LEAPING AFTER HER. MY THIRTYELEVEN CLONES APPEARED ONE AFTER ANOTHER THROWING ME FASTER AND HIGHER ONE BY ONE. MOMENTS LATER I WAS PIERCING HER SWEET UNTOUCHED FOLDS WITH MY BIG AND TALL COCK WITH THE SKILL THAT COMES OF MY PROFESSION. HER BODY TREMBLED WITH PLEASURE BEFORE BEING BLASTED INTO ORBIT LIKE A BOTTLEROCKET FILLED WITH MY CUM. CLOUD DIES. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-09-14 2:08
HI.. I'M GOERGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM FAT!!!
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VIPPER2005-09-15 8:27
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS THREAD. I GUARANTEE IT.
Do I win?
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VIPPER2005-09-15 19:32
HI, I'M LEXINGTON STEELE, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEAN'S WEARHOUSE. I'LL STUFF MY ENORMOUS TESTICLES INTO YOUR ASS AND JAM MY THROBBING BLACK SAUSAGE INTO YOUR PUSSY, THEN YANK THEM OUT WHILE I SHOOT MY MASSIVE LOAD ALL UP INS YOU. BOOYA. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-11-22 21:12
HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE. I’VE GOT HALF A MIND TO STEP FOOT ABOARD MY FANTASTICALLY FRENETIC FLUGZEUG, WHICH WILL BE THE VEHICLE OF YOUR DESTRUCTION AS MY PILOT FLIES DIRECTLY OVER YOUR HOUSE. AS I WAIT FOR MY CHANCE AT REVENGE, A TRIO OF STEWARDESSES CLAD ONLY IN HIGH HEELS WILL SOON FIND THEMSELVES CLAD ALSO IN A THICK LAYER OF MY NUTRITIOUS NUT NAPALM. ONCE SITUATED OVER YOUR HOME, I WILL JUMP FROM THE PLANE, CLAD ONLY IN THE FINEST, MOST DAPPER SUIT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. THE VERY HAND OF GOD HERSELF, WHO RELIES ON ME DAILY FOR HER ZIMMERGASMS, WILL PREVENT MY INJURY AS I CRASH INTO YOUR PATHETIC ABODE, SLAYING YOUR PARENTS ON MY DESCENT INTO YOUR BASEMENT DOMAIN WITH MY FULLY ERECT /B/TARD BLUDGEON LEADING THE WAY. I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH MY TERRIFYINGLY TRIUMPHANT TESTICLE TRUNCHEON. AFTER I’M DONE, I’LL USE IT TO POLE-VAULT BACK UP INTO MY PLANE. I'LL BE USING YOUR PUCKERED ASSHOLE AS A PIVOT. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. TONIGHT I HAD A NUDIST WOMAN VISIT ME AT MY HOME. THOUGH I AM NOT PARTIAL TO REMOVING MY FINE SUIT WITHOUT NEED, I DID SO ANYWAY, OUT OF RESPECT FOR MY GUEST. WE HAD A GREAT NIGHT AU NATURAL, EATING ICE CREAM AND TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. AT ONE POINT DURING THE NIGHT, THOUGH, SHE VERY OBVIOUSLY GOT AROUSED, AND MADE A LARGE PUDDLE ON MY CHAIR. THOUGH SHE TRIED TO PASS IT OFF AS SPILLED ICE CREAM, I KNEW BETTER. IMMEDIATELY I LEAPT UPON HER, THRUSTING MY WELL-POLISHED MAN CANNON INTO HER EAGER TOILET TACO. MINUTES, NAY, HOURS PASSED AS I POUNDED HER TO A DRIPPING WET MASH OF ECSTACY, UNTIL I WITHDREW, DRENCHING HER FLESH WITH A TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR OF MILKY WHITE CROTCH PUTTY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-12-01 9:53
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER- FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. IN THE PAST, IT'S BEEN IMPLIED THAT BECAUSE OF THE RIDICULOUSLY HIGH QUALITY OF MY FINE SUITS THAT I'M ONE TO REMAIN IN THE COMFORTS OF CIVILIZATION AND NOT SOJOURN INTO THE WILD NATURE LIKE THE WILDLY ENDOWED CRO-MAGNON MAN I AM. I'D LIKE TO DISPROVE THESE RUMORS RIGHT OUT. THE LAST TIME I TRAVELED INTO THE AMAZON RAINFOREST, I WAS ACCOSTED BY A TRIBE OF ABORIGINES, AN ANCIENT CIVILIZATION OF LOST MAYANS WHO HAD SOMEHOW ESCAPED CORTEZ. FASCINATED BY THE DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR CULTURE, I REALIZED AS THEY OFFERED ME A SIMPLE MEAL OF BRAZED BEAN CURD AND A YOUNG, EFFEMINATE MALE LOVE SLAVE THAT IF THEIR SIMPLE PARADISE WERE DISCOVERED BY GREATER CIVILIZATION IT WOULD BE FOREVER DESTROYED, THE GOVERNMENTS OF THE WORLD TOPPLING AS PEOPLE ROSE UP IN ANGER AS THE SECRETS OF THIS JUNGLE CIVILIZATION EXPLAINED THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE. AT THIS REALIZATION, I TRAVELLED TO THE CEREMONY THAT WOULD DECLARE ME THEIR GOD. CAREFULLY DRINKING THE BLOOD OF AN OX SO AS NOT TO SPILL ANY AND RUIN MY FINE SUIT, I LAID DOWN THE HUMAN SKULL AND DREW MY PREHENSILE MANACONDA. THE ABORIGINES COWERED IN TERROR AS ONE BY ONE THEY WERE SMOTE, SOME IN FIRE FROM THE HEAT OF MY DEADLY CANNONBALLS, SOME WERE GRINDED TO A FINE PASTE IN A SINGLE MIGHTY BLOW OF MY CUNTBOY-KILLER, AND STILL OTHERS DROWNED IN A GREATY RIVER OF GEORGE'S SPECIAL GRAVY. AS THEIR CIVILIZATION LAY BURNING, MY LUST WAS STILL NOT SATED. I SODOMIZED MANY ANIMALS ON MY RETURN TRIP, AND THE ENTIRE CITY OF RIO DE JANEIRO BEFORE I FELT I COULD RETURN HOME. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-12-03 22:51
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. TONIGHT, AFTER CLOSING THE STORE, I ESCORTED A VERY YOUNG VIRGIN TO HER CAR. AS SHE TURNED AROUND TO UNLOCK HER CAR, I UNLEASHED MY GIGANTIC MAN MEAT ON HER JUICY TREASURE. IN A MATTER OF SECONDS, HER HOLE WAS FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH MY LOVE POTION. AFTER SHE RELIZED WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED, SHE IGNORED ME AND CLIMBED INTO HER CAR. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-12-04 13:29
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. THIS THREAD IS THE MOST GROTESQUELY FUCKED UP THING I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF WITNESSING IN MY LIFETIME. I GUARANTEE IT.
Do I win an internet now?
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VIPPER2005-12-06 20:03
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU AND I WOULD BEGIN OUR EVENING WITH A CANDLELIGHT SUPPER OF LOBSTER AND STEAK, FOLLOWED BY A CREAMY DESSERT OF SEVERAL GALLONS OF MY THICK, SLOPPY MAN MILK. YOU WOULD MARVEL IN FEAR AND AWE AT THE SHEER VASTNESS OF MY SUBMARINE-LIKE EDIFICE OF VIRILITY. I'D COMMAND YOU TO ASSUME THE POSITION, AND THEN I WOULD PASSIONATELY PLUNGE MY THROBBING POLE OF FLESH BETWEEN YOUR SUPPLE, YIELDING CHEEKS. YOU'D SCREAM IN DELIGHT AND PLEASURE AS I THRUST THE ZIMMER-TRAIN FULL STEAM IN AND OUT OF YOUR DISTENDED ORIFICE. YOUR ORGASM WOULD BE SO OUTRAGEOUSLY IMMENSE, THE NEIGHBORS FOR THREE BLOCKS WOULD FEEL SHUDDERS OF ECSTASY. THIS WOULDN'T BE A GOOD IDEA IN NEW ORLEANS, AS THEY DON'T NEED MY ENDLESS SUPPLY OF BABY CUSTARD RAISING THE WATER LEVEL YET AGAIN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-12-13 11:38
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WAREHOUSE. AFTER COMING THIS FAR, AND SELLING MY SOUL TO THE DARK ENTITY THAT IS CALLED BAELZEBUB IN EXCHANGE FOR IMMORTALITY, I WILL NOT DIE BECAUSE YOU LAZY ASSES WILL NO LONGER WRITE STORIES OF MY PHALLIC GLORY OR INNUMERABLE SEXUAL EXPLOITS. POST MORE, YOU VIP-FAGS, OR I'LL DROP MY PHALLIC RAMROD UPON YOUR HOMES, CRUSHING ALL THOSE WITHIN, THEN LEAN BACK AND DECLARE A MIGHTY 'WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY'. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-01-02 8:41
HI I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. EACH ONE OF MY SUITS AND TAILORED JUST FOR YOU, TO SUIT YOUR EVERY NEED. HOWEVER, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A BEACON IN EVERY CUFFLINK? I PERSONALLY INSTALLED EACH ONE OF THESE WHICH SEND A SIGNAL DURING THE LOWEST POINT OF YOUR LIFE. THE MOMENT THE ANGUISH OF SEEING YOUR WIFE DIE IN YOUR ARMS IS WHEN I'LL APPEAR, LIKE A FLASH, BEHIND YOU. THEN, IN AN INSTANT I'LL TEAR YOUR TROUSERS OFF MUCH IN WAY A GORILLA WOULD RIP CURTAINS WITHOUT A BANANNA PATTERN.
STILL IN SHOCK, YOU WILL ATEMPT TO LOOK BACK HOWEVER THE LAST THING YOU SEE IS THE BEAUTY OF MY ROLEX BEFORE MY FIST COLLIDES WITH YOUR SKULL. THEN, I FREE MY SUPREME MEMBER FROM IT'S ARMANI SHEATH, TWITCHING WITH THE JOY OF DEFILING A NEW ORIFICE.
WITH BOTH OF MY HANDS AND THE BLESSINGS OF THOR I SPREAD YOUR ASS APART, IT STILL CLINGING TO DISCOUNT BOXERS. MY THRUST SENDS SHOCKWAVES THROUGHOUT YOUR BODY, JOLTING YOU TO A CONSIOUS STATE OF HORROR/PLEASURE. MY MAGNIFICIENT POLE VOLT RENDING CLOTH AND ANUS MIXING THEM WITH YOUR WARM BLOOD. YOU TRY TO SHRIEK BUT YOU'RE JOLTED BY ANOTHER THRUST, QUICKER THEN THE LAST THANKS TO THE CRIMSON LUBRICATION.
THIS CONTINUES FOR ROUGHLY HALF AN HOUR BEFORE YOUR APARTMENT FLOOR CRUMBLES FROM THE SHEER COLOSSAL FORCE OF MY DAM PLUGGER. THE TENANTS AROUND US GAZE IN AWE AS I BLOW AN ARTILLERY LOAD LAUNCHING YOUR QUIVERING BODY FROM MY BLOOD-STAINED IMALER AND FILLING THE AIR WITH ENOUGH BABY BATTER TO OVERFLOW A CHILDREN'S POOL. MY WATCH BEEPS AND JUST AS QUICKLY AS I APPEARED I DISAPPEAR. OFF TO VIOLATE ANOTHER.
I GUARANTEE IT.
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I used to be absolutely disgusted by dickgirls. For years I would deliberately skip saving pages from doujinshi I found if it had one in it. More recently though, I've accepted that there is futanari art that turns me on. I don't feel compelled to seek out pictures of real-life shemales; it's just one of those things, like piss-drinking and genital piercings, that anime makes arousing even though you'd never go for it in real life. I think it's a combination of three things:
1) Attaching a PENIS to a girl causes her to become sexually aggressive. She can't stop touching herself or trying to have sex with every girl, boy or other dickgirl she sees. An erection means "I'm horny, I want to have sex." When you see a girl gazing at you with a hard on, you know she wants you. Normal girls, it isn't always that obvious (a wet pussy is hard to see through clothes for example).
2) Seeing a dickgirl ejaculate is like how you wince when you see someone else get kicked in the nuts; it's a sympathetic reaction, like psychosomatic or something. Beautiful girls and ejaculating are high on most guys' lists of favorite things; dickgirls put them together in a simple package.
3) A dickgirl's dick is just another toy for you to play with. I'd treat it like an extra breast or a really big clit, something that will make her feel good when you touch her, and a hell of a lot more user friendly than a teeny tiny little knob at the top of her crotch.
4) After four years of nothing but 'normal' hentai (and some real life sex), I'm jaded by hentai. I need something a little kinkier to get me interested, and this fits the bill nicely without getting too fucked up like scat or mutilation or sensory deprivation.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. DON'T BE FOOLED BY CHEAP IMITATIONS OF MY FINE PRODUCTS. FROM MY FINE, WELL-TAILORED SUITS AT AFFORDABLE PRICES TO MY DEEPLY AROUSING SEXUAL ANECDOTES, I ONLY OFFER THE HIGHEST QUALITY IN FASHION AND SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. SO IT HURTS ME, DEEP DOWN IN THE WELL-EXERCISED MUSCLE OF MY HEART TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD OFFER LOUSY KNOCK-OFFS OF MY PRODUCTS AND SELF-IMAGE. DON'T OFFER CHEAP IMITATIONS, OR I'LL COME TO YOUR HOME AND SPEAR YOUR VIRGIN RECTAL ROSEBUD WITH MY TITANIC TESTICULAR TRUNCHEON. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-02-28 18:55
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. MERE HOURS AGO, ON A SUBWAY RIDE HOME TO MY LAVISH PENTHOUSE APARTMENT, ON MY WAY BACK FROM THE WORLD'S MOST VIRILE MAN COMPETITION, THERE SAT ACROSS FROM ME A WOMAN OF ADMIRABLE MAMMARY PROPORTIONS. NATURALLY, MY IMMEDIATE REACTION WAS FOR MY DANGEROUS, DEVILISH, DAPPER DOWNSTAIRS DOWEL TO SWELL TO ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL BAT. BUT I DIGRESS. THE IMPORTANT PART OF MY TALE OF UNIMAGINABLE SEXUAL PROWESS WAS THUS:
A RATHER INEBRIATED FELLOW BEGAN TO HARASS THE OTHER PATRONS UPON THE SUBWAY CAR WHOSE DIMENSIONS WERE NOW BEING APPROACHED BY THAT OF MY TOWERING MEAT FOUNTAIN. HAVING NOT THE SAME AUDACITY AS I, THEY THOUGHT IT BEST TO LET THE MAN BE. AS HE MOVED FROM PROUDLY DISPLAYING HIS COMPARATIVELY INSIGNIFICANT PENILE PINKY TO THE OLDER WOMEN TO THE YOUNG, BOUNCY AND BEAUTIFULLY BREASTED BROAD THAT HAD CAUSED THE MAMMOTH SWELLING OF MY SWEATY MALE-WHALE, I CLUTCHED TIGHTLY MY TROPHY FROM AFOREMENTIONED COMPETITION AND KNEW IMMEDIATELY THE APPROPRIATE COURSE OF ACTION. THE LOOK THAT GRACED HIS WANDERING EYES AS MY PULSATING POWER PUMP RUSHED TO MEET HIS FACE WILL CAUSE ME RUMBLING LAUGHTER FOR MANY A YEAR. THE RESULTING AROMA OF GIN AND TESTOSTERONE THAT LINGERED IN THE AIR WAS INVIGORATING. I THEN SPOKE IN A DIALECT OF MANDARIN CHINESE IN A FREQUENCY THAT ONLY ELEPHANTS CAN HEAR A WARNING TO THIS MAN THAT THIS BEHAVIOR OF HIS WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE. ALAS, IT FELL ON DEAF EARS, FOR HE HAD PASSED. THE FELLATIO SESSION THAT I HAD EARNED FROM THE MAGNIFICENTLY MILKY MAIDEN WAS INTERRUPTED BY THE GOINGS-ON OF THE NEAREST POLICE OFFICER. RATHER THAN GO THROUGH THE TEDIUM OF FILLING OUT TIRESOME REPORTS AND STATEMENTS, I WASHED HIM OUT OF THE TRAIN AND UP THE STAIRS TO THE STREET WITH A BATH OF ONLY THE FINEST PROTEIN PACKED PUBIC PUDDING THAT I COULD MUSTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-02-28 18:57
HELLO! I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST CATURDAY SOMEONE POSTED A PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE IMAGE CONTAINING ENORMOUS BREASTS OF STUPENDOUS PROPORTIONS ON THE /gif/ BOARD. I WAS PARTICULARLY AROUSED BY THIS, AND IMMEDIATELY UNSHEATHED MY MASSIVE MEAT MISSILE. AS I VIGOROUSLY STROKED THE SHAFT WITH THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF MY LEFT ARM, I MANAGED TO PAINSTAKINGLY SPAM THE WORD "SAUCE" IN HOPES THAT MY /gif/ RAPIDSHARE DRUDGES WOULD PRESENT FOR ME A TRIBUTE TO MY ALMIGHTY ANUS ANNIHILATOR. HOWEVER, TO MY IMMEDIATE DISMAY, I REALIZED THAT SOME PIXELS WERE UNUSUAL...THIS IMAGE WAS SHOPPED! IN MY RAGE, I RELEASED MY ENORMOUSLY PROPORTIONED PENILE PLUNDERER, WHICH SNAPPED MY COMPUTER DESK CLEAR IN HALF. THE QUAKING OF MY LARGE LACUNA LANCE WAS FELT WORLD WIDE, AND WAS NAMED THE 1906 SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE. THIS IS WHY SAN FRANCISCO IS INFESTED WITH HOMOSEXUALS - THEY ARE WORSHIPPERS OF MY GINORMOUS GROIN GRINDER. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-05-21 6:53
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. TODAY I WENT TO THE LOCAL ZOO IN HOPES OF FINDING MORE JAPANESE PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN FIND IN A TAIWANESE CRACKHOUSE. I BUSIED MYSELF TO THE LIONS DEN WHERE A BESTIAL ROAR ANTICIPATED THE PRESENCE OF MY AMAZONIAN SLAYER, AND RIGHT THEN THE ALPHA MALE EVISCERATED HIS INTESTINES IN HOPES TO ACCEPT MY MIGHTY GIRTH , AND I HAVE DONE SO AFTER SKEWERING HIS LATERAL AXIS THROUGH AN ELEPHANT, A HIPPO, AND TWO ENDANGERED PANDAS, THOSE OF WHOM I SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED BY BLESSING THEM WITH THE IMMORTALITY GRANTING SAUCE THAT ALLOWED ME TO SURPASS VLAD THE IMPALER'S RECORD IN FLOWING BLOOD AND THE HOLY CONVICTION OF MY WHITE PALADIN. MANY PATRONS OF THE ZOO LOOKED ON IN AWE, HORROR AND ORGASMIC DISGUST, A SMALL JAPANESE GIRL TOOK 3 CAMERA PHONES AND BORROWED HER FRIEND'S IN ORDER TO ENCAPSULATE THE IMAGE OF MY HOLY MEMBER AS IT PRESENTS ITSELF , A TOWERING TOTEM POLE OF THE ZIMMER SUPREMACY. 10 MILLION INTERNET USERS WORSHIPS THAT 10 GIGABYTE WALL PAPER TODAY, AND A NEW HIT GAME SHOW LASTED IN JAPAN FOR 2 WEEKS I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-05-21 12:45
i demand the mile-high club one!
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VIPPER2006-05-22 0:23
HI I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. GEORGE ZIMMER IS DEAD. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-05-22 0:27
is this copy pasta or are you really fucking crazy?