HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL OF MY AMAZING STORIES THAT MANY HEARD, BUT OTHERS DIDNT. SO I HAVE OFFICIALLY FOUNDED THIS THREAD WHICH WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED WITH MY GREATEST HITS. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-01 23:41
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, AND I HAVE AN APPLE ][ COMPUTER.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 14:50
george zimmer ran out of gas apparently--
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VIPPER2005-03-03 15:21
No stamina, that George Zimmer.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 16:03
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUND AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE AND I CLAIM THE 44TH POST IN THIS THREAD IN THE NAME OF HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN OF SPAIN.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 17:38 (sage)
>>43
Yeah, he sure talks a good fuck, but when it's time to whip it out, he's weeping out back by the dumpsters cradling his limp stack of dimes in his shaking hands.
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VIPPER2005-03-03 19:02
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THE OTHER DAY I WAS WASHING MY PURPLE WARRIOR ARMOR IN THE CAR WASH TUNNEL DOWN MY STREET WHEN I SAW A WOMAN SO HEAVENLY HOT I'D DRIVE MY MONSTROUSLY SIZED IMPREGNATOR THROUGH ALL OF HER HOLES FOR SEVERAL LAPS, WHILE READING THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS OUT LOUD. SHE'D COME SO HARD ALL RELIGIONS WOULD BELIEVE THE FLOOD IS BACK. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER, BUT HOIT DAMN, HIS MOM CAN SIZUCK MY COCK DOWN WHILE I FINGER HER ASS 3 KNUCKLE STYLEZ WITH ONE HAND AND STRETCH HER NIPPLES OUT FAR ENOUGH TO FUCK HER WITH THEM WITH MY OTHER HAND. IF YOU AN AFFORD PENICILIAN (cause ass this easy comes with critters) I STRONLY SUGGEST TEA-BAGGIN HER ONCE OR TWICE. FOR THE RECORD, SHE TOSSES A MEAN SALAD ON THE SIDE. I GARUNTEE IT.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, PRESIDENT AND CEO OF MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOUR SISTER DEFINETLY NEEDED YOUR PROTECTION LAST NIGHT AS I RAMMED MY MONOLITHIC BEEF HAMMER INTO HER PRECIOUS LITTLE JIZZWELL. HER TINY HIPS WERE BARELY ABLE TO CONTAIN THE FULL LIQUID VOLUME OF MY SPECIAL FORMULA NUT BATTER, SO IN A FLASH, I RAMMED THE TEN YARDS OF MANFLESH GOD BESTOWED UPON ME INTO HER NASAL CANAL. I GUARANTEE IT.
LOL. short, descriptive and humourus, best one ive heard in a while.
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VIPPER2005-03-11 17:33
Original Zimmer rocks.
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VIPPER2005-03-26 6:38
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE ASHLEE OUT FOR A PICNIC IN A PARK, LIE HER DOWN COMPLETELY FLAT ON THE PICNIC BLANKET, BALANCE A PABST ON HER BACK, AND RIGOROUSLY VIOLATE HER FROM BEHIND - QUIZZING HER ON BASIC GEOMETRY IN SWEDISH WHILE SHE HAS A MOUTFUL OF A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH AND ANTS CRAWLING INTO HER ARMPITS. SHE WILL CUM SO HARD HER FACE WILL MELT LIKE THAT NAZI ASS IN RAIDERS. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI....I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT WHILE MAKING ROOM IN MRS. ZIMMER'S CRAPSHOOT OF BANANNA JUICE STORAGE WITH MY ARM, I DECIDED TO GET FREAKY AND HELPED HER DO HER BEST ANGRY PIRATE IMPERSONATION BY STRATEGICALLY FIRING A FEW ROUNDS OF .50 BABY PARKAY IN HER LEFT EYE, THROWWING SAND IN MY SALTY JUICES OF TONSIL DELIGHT, KICKED HER IN THE RIGHT SHIN AND RAN. AFTER AN HOUR OF 1 EYE, GIMP LEG HOBBLING, I GAVE IN, GAGGED HER ESOPHOGUS WITH MY BULBOUS TUBE MEAT TILL I DROPPED A SECOND DOSING IN HER MOUTH. BEFORE SHE COULD SWALLOW, I PULLED OUT AND SOCKED HER IN THE BACK OF THE SKULL MAKING IT SPURT OUT HER NOSE LIKE AN ANGRY DRAGON. I GARUNTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-03-27 15:10
HI... I TYPE IN CAPS LOCK AND TELL TALES OF ME FUCKING PEOPLE WITH MY GENITALS WHICH ARE HUGE LOL
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VIPPER2005-03-27 19:03
HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER AND I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. BRIDGET HAS MADE ME GAY IN A MAJOR WAY!
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VIPPER2005-04-13 16:39
HI, IM GEORGE ZIMMER <insert rediculous penis slang>, <insert rape/sex with either a family member or someone who the topic pertains>, <insert personal guarantee>
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VIPPER2005-04-14 7:18
to whom the topic pertains
fuxed [sic]
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VIPPER2005-05-02 23:40
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I'VE SNEEZED BIGGER LOADS THAN THAT.
THAT'S MERELY A DROP IN THE OCEAN OF MAN CHOWDER THAT I DELIVER TO YOUR CUM GUZZLING SLUT OF A MOTHER EVERY OTHER NIGHT. SHE'S NEVER CONSCIOUS FOR IT, THOUGH, BECAUSE NO WOMAN CAN TAKE MY COLOSSAL MEAT CANNON WITHOUT BLACKING OUT FROM A BEAUTIFUL MELANGE OF ECSTACY AND PAIN. I STILL SMOTHER HER IN STEAMING POLE PUDDING. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-05-02 23:41
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, PRESIDENT AND CEO OF MEN'S WAREHOUSE. IF YOU LOW-LIFE WANNABE COCK PHEASANTS CONTINUE TO SHATTER MY GOOD NAME WITH HORRID AND TASTELESS ANECDOTES, I WILL FORCE MY COLOSSAL SPERM-WHALE UP YOUR SHIT SHOOT SO FAR THAT YOUR ANCESTORS IN HEAVEN WILL HAVE THEIR TEETH KNOCKED OUT FROM BEHIND. I GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-05-10 9:16
hey, what happened to the "nose ring will magnetize" one? that was my favorite
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VIPPER2005-05-19 3:23
HI....I'M NOT GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I HAD THE CRAVING FOR NACHOS AND WAS CONFUSED WHERE TO GO FOR A GOOD HARDY MEAL. I THEN PROCEDED TO CALL MISS ZIMMERMAN TO SEE IF SHE COULD HELP ME OUT. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY SHE HAS EVERYTHING I NEED. WE THEN DRANK A FEW SHOTS OF JIM BEAN AND AT THAT POINT I RAMED MY TROBBING CEVIX HAMMER IN HER ASS WHILE POURING VELVITA CHEESE ON HER CHEEKS.
YOUR MOTHER IN LAW CAME UP, TUGED MY ASS ROCKET WHILE YOUR SHOULD OF BEEN ABORTION OF A SON BAPTISED YOUR WIFE WITH HIS HOLY STICK. I THEN PULLED OUT AND GRABBED A CHIP AND WAITED FOR HER SPECAL CHILI TO COME POURING OUT HER LOOSE ASS WHILE YOUR MOTHER IN LAW SLAPPED ON A DIRTY SHANCEZ ACROSS HER FACE FLINGING MY LITTLE SWIMMERS EVERY WHERE. I THINK TOMMOROW WE'LL HAVE POT ROAST. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-05-19 9:46
HI.....I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I CAME HOME FROM THE OFFICE LATE AND IRRITABLE AFTER A LONG POINTLESS DAY FULL OF MEETINGS WITH SIMPERING WEAK-WILLED MIDDLE MANAGERS WHO REFUSE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING IF THEY CAN POSSIBLE WORM THEIR WAY OUT OF IT AND I ORDERED A CHEESE AND SAUSAGE PAN PIZZA FROM PIZZA HUT AND I ATE PART OF IT AND WENT TO BED. WHEN I WOKE UP, I ATE THE REST OF THE PIZZA BEFORE TAKING A SHOWER, PUTTING ON AN ARMANI I HAD IN THE CLOSET AND THEN GOING TO WORK AGAIN.
HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I GET ASKED ALOT AS TO WHETHER I THINK MY ANECDOTES ARE FUNNY. WHEN ASKED THAT I CAN'T HELP BUT SUCKERPUNCH THEM IN THE STOMACH. AND WHEN THEY'RE REELING ON THE CEMENT HOLDING THEMSELVES IN PAIN I PULL THEM UP ONTO THEIR KNEES AND I STICK MY FLESHY METER STICK INTO THEIR EAR AND FILL THEIR SKULL WITH MY STICKY WHITE COCK SPIT AS THEY'RE SCREAMING OBSCENETIES. GUARNTEE IT.