HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL OF MY AMAZING STORIES THAT MANY HEARD, BUT OTHERS DIDNT. SO I HAVE OFFICIALLY FOUNDED THIS THREAD WHICH WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED WITH MY GREATEST HITS. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. THE OTHER WEEK I WAS IN JAPAN VISITING THE FACTORIES THAT MAKE MY CLOTHING. AS I STROLLED DOWN THE AISLE OF 8 YEAR OLD BOYS SITTING AT SEWING MACHINES, ONE ASKED "ZIMMA-SAN, DO YOU LIKE MY COATS?" AND SO I BROUGHT HIM UP TO MY SUITE AND TIED MY PANTS AROUND HIS EYES AS I WHIPPED OUT MY MASSIVE STEELY CROTCH CACTUS AND BLITZED HIS REAR. HIS SCREAMS WERE DROWNED OUT WHEN I PULLED MY BLOOD-COVERED GATOR OUT OF HIS ASS AND TOSSED IT DOWN HIS THROAT INTO HIS SOOT-FILLED LUNGS. HE CHOKED TO DEATH AFTER MY MAN MAYO COATED HIS FEW FUNCTIONING ALVEOLI. I LEFT TWO WEEKS PAY, JUST OVER 4 AMERICAN CENTS, WITH HIS SOBBING FAMILY. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-01 21:10
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER- FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THIS REMINDS ME OF A STORY INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER AND AN EGGPLANT. IT WAS JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, AND WE WEREN'T TEN SECONDS AWAY FROM THE STREETCORNER WHERE I PICKED HER UP WHEN SHE UNHINGED HER JAW ATTEMPTING TO PLAY TONSIL HOCKEY WITH THE ZIMMER ZAMBONI. I THOUGHT ABOUT OPENING THE DOOR AND TOSSING HER OUT RIGHT THEN, BUT THEN I'D BE OUT 3 SHINY DIMES, SO I FLIPPED HER OVER AND SKEWERED HER ON MY BEEF KABOB, THEN HAMMERED HER HEAD AGAINST THE CEILING SO HARD THAT SHE MADE A NEW SUNROOF. I THOUGHT SHE WAS STILL CONSCIOUS AT THIS POINT, SO I YELLED AT THE DRIVER TO FIND SOME LOW TREES TO DRIVE THROUGH. IT MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE A MOVING GAME OF WHACK-A-MOLE. AFTER I WAS DONE BUSHWHACKING HER FROM BOTH ENDS, I GLAZED HER ASS LIKE A KRISPY KREME DONUT AND LEFT HER NAKED IN A DITCH IN FRONT OF A 7-11. I FORGOT EXACTLY WHERE THE EGGPLANT CAME INTO THE STORY, BUT SHE WAS BACK THE NEXT NIGHT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-01 21:10
I'm George Zimmer of the Men's Wearhouse. How does it feel to have over 23 distinct species of rainforest life spinning out of control in that gaping cunt of yours? That tingling sensation is a yeast infection so severe you could bake bread. I guarantee it.
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VIPPER2005-06-01 21:10
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MENS WEARHOUSE. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE YOU NIGGER LOVING PILE OF INTESTINAL FECES - ILL RIP YOUR BOWELS OUT AND FEAST ON THEM, THEN I'LL IMPREGNATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND WAIT 7 MONTHS THEN UNWRAVEL HER BELLY BUTTON AND SUCK OUT ALL THE VAGINAL DISCHARGE AND FEAST UPON THE BABY. I WILL FORNICATE YOUR LIVER, THEN MAKE YOU GUZZLE GALLON AFTER GALLON OF PUTRID DIARRHEA. YOU WILL GAG ON MY GREEN LOGS OF ASSHOLE MUD BUTTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD POST ABOUT MY LATEST EXPLOITS, BUT IT IS A BIT DIFFICULT TO TYPE WHILE RAMMING MY ENORMOUS CROTCH CHARIOT UP YOUR YOUNGEST DAUGHTER'S BLEEDING ASS SO HARD THAT THE VIBRATIONS CAUSE NEW TSUNAMIS IN INDONESIA. I WILL BE BACK, THOUGH. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-20 1:08
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I CAN BREAK BOTH PILES OF BRICKS COMBINED WITH MY MASSIVELY MEATY GROIN PROTUBERATION. ONE SWIFT AND POWERFUL BLOW FROM MY EDIFICE OF VIRILITY VIRTUALLY SHATTERS THE PUNY SLABS. SPACERS? MERE CHILD'S PLAY. IF ANYTHING FEELS PAIN, IT'S THE BRICKS AS THEY FALL VICTIM TO THE CRUSHING POWER OF MY INESCAPABLY HUMONGOUS YOGURT SLINGER. THEY'LL STILL CALL ME BACK FOR MORE, THOUGH. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-06-21 16:20
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. WHEN I FIT DUDES WITH SUITS I SURREPTICIOUSLY FINGER THEIR BALLS AND ASS. YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU BITCH! THAT'S WHY I HAVE SUCH A LOYAL CLIENTELE! I STRETCHED 400 ANUSES TO THE SIZE OF THE GOATSE MAN IN THE PAST HOUR - I GUARANTEE IT!
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE - I GUARANTEE IT!
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VIPPER2005-06-24 11:12
99
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VIPPER2005-06-24 11:12
100GET
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VIPPER2005-06-24 16:12
101GET... I GUARANTEE IT!
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VIPPER2005-07-06 1:53
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE I WAS CHECKING MY WEEKLY SUIT SALES IN MY LAPTOP, I RECIEVED AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL TELLING ME THAT THE SITE 4CHAN WAS IN NEED OF SOME URGENT MONEY DUE TO BAD ADMINISTRATION. I TOOK A PLANE TO MEXICO, WENT DOWNTOWN UNTIL I FOUND A NERDY 4-EYED PUNK WHO WAS TRYING TO BUY SOME CHEAP HOOKERS WITH HIS GRANDMOTHERS INSULIN. SO I TOOK OUT MY .457, BUSTED HIS KNEECAPS, WRAPPED A GLORYHOLE ON HIS EYEBALL AND PROCEEDED TO PIERCE HIS MALFORMED SKULL WITH MY MEAT FLAVORED WIFFLE BAT. AS I THRUSTED DEEPER INTO HIS CRANIAL CAVITY, EACH POKE OF MY SALAMY STURGEON TRIGGERED REPRESSED MEMORIES IN HIS BRAIN WHICH MADE HIM SING "UNDER THE SEA" 33 TIMES UNTIL HE ENTERED A SEIZURE DUE TO BRAIN DAMAGE. AS I WITNESSED HIS TWITCHING BODY LAYING ON THE HOT SANDS OF MEXICO CITY I COULD ONLY FEEL PITY FOR HIS POOR SOUL, SO I GRIPPED MY TOTEM OF BABILONIC PROPORTIONS AND SMACKED HIS HEAD SIDEWAYS CRACKING HIS NECK PUTTING AN END TO HIS PAIN. MY ABSTAINED ORGASM CAME IN HANDY AT EVADING THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES AND ENSURED MY SAFE RETURN. AFTER CHEMICALLY BLINDING SEVERAL BEANERCOPS I STOLE THEIR WALLETS AND DONATED 2 PESOS TO 4CHAN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-07-31 4:04
HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AS YOU PATHETICALLY ENDOWED INTERNERDS GRASP YOUR INFERIOR TOOLS, READY AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE TO MASTURBATE DRAMAIOUSLY TO MY NEXT OUTSTANDINGLY WITTY POST, I AM IN YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM, POSTING FROM MY INSANELY EXPENSIVE LAPTOP. THAT'S RIGHT, SHE'S RIDING MY GARGANTUAN LOVE TUBE LIKE A KENTUCKY DERBY JOCKEY. SOON, SHE WILL LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS AS A RESULT OF THE INTENSE PENETRATION AND OVERWHELMING PLEASURE I AM SWIFTLY AND UNMERCIFULLY DELIVERING, AND I WILL UNLEASH UPON HER FACE A TSUNAMI OF MAN FROSTING, THE MAGNITUDE OF WHICH HAS NOT BEEN SEEN BY MAN OUTSIDE OF INDONESIA. SHE'LL CALL ME BACK WHILE YOU'RE AT SCHOOL TOMORROW, I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-07-31 4:06
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WAS IN MY OFFICE ON THE 34TH FLOOR WHEN FROM THE STREET BELOW THERE CAME QUITE A RUCKUS. PEERING OUT OVER THE COMMOTON, I SOON CAME TO REALIZE THAT THERE HAD BEEN AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT OF MYTHIC PROPORTIONS INVOlVING A TRUCK CONTAINING HAZARDOUS MATERIAL. THE CHOICE WAS NOT MINE TO LEAP FROM THE OPEN WINDOW TO THE STREET BELOW TO OFFER WHATEVER HELP COULD BE OFFERED BY MY SLEEK AND SEXY SEVERAL-STORY SEMINAL SUPER-SOAKER. THE FALL TO THE STREET WORRIED ME NOT SINCE IT WAS EASY TO ASSUME THAT THE AIR DRAG ON MY HAIRY HOOKER-HOSER WOULD SLOW MY DESCENT TO THE POINT OF SAFETY. THE FIRE THAT RAVAGED THROUGH THE STEETS AND DOWN ALLEYS SUCCUMBED TO MY COPIOUS AND CRASHING COCKPASTE CARGO IN WHAT SEEMED TO THOSE CAUGHT IN THE BLAZE TO BE MILLISECONDS. THE IMMENSELY MASCULINE STINK OF MY OCEAN OF SEED SIZZLING ON THE SUPERHEATED PAVEMENT CAUSED ACCIDENT VICTIMS WITHIN WHAT I LATER LEARNED TO BE AN EIGHT-BLOCK RADIUS TO WEEP IN HOPELESSLY INTENSE LUST. BLOODY TRAILS RAN FROM THE OVERLY ENGORGED GENITALS OF MANY OF THEM DUE TO THEIR INCAPACITY TO PREPARE FOR THE INFLUX OF BLOOD CAUSED BY THE SIGNAL BEING TRANSMITTED FROM THEIR OLFACTORY LOBES. A FAIR YOUNG WOMAN APPROACHED, SOAKED TO THE ABSOLUTE IN MY VERY OWN STICKY GENETIC STEW, AND WORDLESSLY KISSED THE TIP OF MY HUMONGOUSLY HEAVY HUMAN HAMMER, PRESUMABLY IN THANKS FOR MY SELFLESS DEED OF SEXUAL SPECTACULARITY. THE RESULTING FORCE WITH WHICH MY REMAINING RECTUM-READY RESERVOIR WAS DISCHARGED IN BETWEEN HER AWAITING LIPS TORE HER HEAD CLEANLY FROM HER NECK. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-07-31 5:08
<Inst>
you know you can add name by clicking on the add reply link next to the box. It's just better with george zimmer quality.
rock on, zimmerman!
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VIPPER2005-07-31 5:11
<Inst>
by the way guys, when you sage george zimmer, you're proving your own stupidity. He's fucking hilarious, I mean, you know what he's saying obviously can't be true, but the way he delivers it and the way vippers get annoyed...
If you are not teh gay, you did not sagey the rei... er, george zimmer. If you do, you're just biting trollbait.
where is the zimmer? \= George Zimmer rocks so hard, almost as hard as Reidick
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VIPPER2005-08-03 23:59
<Inst>
where is the zimmer? \= George Zimmer rocks so hard, almost as hard as Reidick
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VIPPER2005-08-05 16:42
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON A RECENT BUSINESS TRIP TO TOKYO, I FOUND MYSELF IN A VIDEO ARCADE, WHERE ONE OF THE LOCAL TEENAGE BOYS WAS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE UP FOR HIS UNFATHOMABLY TINY TWAT TACKLE BY PLAYING "DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION" IN FRONT OF A GROUP OF JIGGLY-CHESTED JAPANESE JAILBAIT.
SCOFFING AT HIS SCANDALOUSLY SIMPLISTIC SKILLS, I PROCEDED TO LIBERATE MY TWITCHING TESTICULAR TRUNCHEON AND SWING ITS PRECIPITOUS POUNDAGE INTO THE YOUTH'S FACE, CRUSHING HIS SKULL AND FREEING THE MACHINE. I THEN ACHIEVED A RATING OF "AAA" ON THE SONG "MAX 300" USING ONLY THE RAPID RIPPLING OF MY RAUCOUSLY RIGID RAPEROD.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE WET-PANTIED WOMANLY WATCHERS WERE ALREADY IN THE THROES OF PASSION FROM THE OVERPOWERING SCENT OF MY TORPID TESTOSTERONE TUBE, SO I LET THEM GATHER 'ROUND FOR A GROUP HUG OF THE GARGANTUAN GIRTH OF MY GORGEOUS GUY-GIRDER BEFORE CONQUERING EACH OF THEIR QUIXOTICALLY QUIVERING QUIMS WITH A FURIOUS FOUNTAIN OF FROTHING FUCK-FOAM.
MY HIGH SCORE HAS NEVER BEEN BEATEN. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-05 17:09
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IT IS ONCE IN A BLUE MOON THAT I ENCOUNTER AS FANCIFUL A FEMALE AS I DID YESTERDAY ON THE PUBLIC BEACH I VISIT FROM TIME TO TIME. SHE WAS WORKING AS A LIFEGUARD AND UPON MY NOTICE OF HER, CLEARED THE BEACH BY WRAPPING HER LIPS EAGERLY AROUND HER WHISTLE LIKE SHE SOON WOULD MY SWOLLEN GENITALIA, AS SHE MISTOOK THEM FOR A BEACHED WHALE AND ITS SUCKLING BABIES. NOW ALONE WITH HER ON THE BEACH, I WAS ABLE TO SAY HER A FOND HELLO BY CASUALLY TOSSING MY SEA-SALTED, SUPER-SIZED, SANDY SEMEN SMOOTHIE SECRETING SALMON STICK DOWN HER THROAT. IT WAS AT THE MOST UNFORTUNATE MOMENT THAT THE BEAST ARRIVED FROM THE SEA. A MIGHTY CRASHING WAVE BROUGHT WITH IT A HUNGRY ORCA WHO FOUND IT FIT TO TAKE A HEARTY CHOMP OUT OF MY STATUESQUE SLOBBERING SEA SNAKE, AND TOOK WITH IT A PORTION OF MY UNDERSTATED YET ELEGANT ARMANI SWIM TRUNKS. FORTUNATELY, THE SIZE OF THE LEVIATAN BETWEEN MY LEGS RENDERED THE ORCA'S MEAL A MERE SCRATCH. IMMEDATELY PRE-COITUS, I REMOVED THE PUDDING-PUMPING PENILE POSEIDON FROM MY FEMALE COMPANION'S STOMACH AND WASHED THE CREATURE 6 NAUTICAL MILES BACK OUT TO SEA WITH A REPRODUCTIVE MUDSLIDE THAT RAISED THE OCEAN'S SALINITY BY A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-07 14:45
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER. I GUARENTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-07 17:29
HI, I GUARENTEE I'M GEORGE ZIMMER.
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VIPPER2005-08-09 1:58
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I'M SO LONELY I COULD BURST. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2005-08-09 3:13
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. SOME DAYS I TELL MY DAUGHTER HOW DISAPPOINTED I AM IN HER JUST TO MAKE HER CRY. I USUALLY FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER I SPATTER SOME KNUCKLE JELLY ON HER JAW. IT'S ALWAYS BETTER WHEN THE GIRL IS CRYING. I GUARANTEE IT.