George_Zimmer Journal

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL OF MY AMAZING STORIES THAT MANY HEARD, BUT OTHERS DIDNT. SO I HAVE OFFICIALLY FOUNDED THIS THREAD WHICH WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED WITH MY GREATEST HITS. I GUARANTEE IT.

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HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I UNSHEATHED MY MUNGO MAN SPOUT FROM MY JEANS AND FLOPPED IT DOWN IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER - YOUR SENILE DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOUR TAPPED AT HER CEILING BECAUSE OF THE CLAMOR. YOUR MOM WAS BARELY ABLE TO NIBBLE AT MY PLUMP, PRODIGIOUS MEMBER BEFORE I GRABBED IT LIKE A LASSO AND SMACKED HER ACROSS THE FACE SO HARD SHE FLEW, SPINNING, ONTO THE BED BENT OVER - AWAITING THE ADMISSION OF MY THROBBING ACREAGE OF FLESH. SHE COULD ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS OF HALF MY SCROTAL CAMEL BEFORE SHE FAINTED. I FINISHED UP AND BESTOWED A STUNNING LIKENESS OF THE POPE ON HER BACK IN BABY SPACKLE. I USED HER TOOTH BRUSH AS TOILET PAPER AND LEFT A QUARTER ON HER ASS. SHE CALLED ME FOUR TIMES TODAY. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I HAD HUMILIATION SEX WITH A WOMAN THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELATED TO YOU. YOU LAUGHED AT IT. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER-FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOU BEND DOWN TO PICK UP THE SOAP, I WILL APPEAR BEHIND YOU AND THRUST MY MASSIVE LOIN LOBSTER INTO YOUR TENDER YIELDING ASS? IN AN INSTANT, I DISH OUT A DOZEN GALLONS OF MY UNIQUE BLEND OF PREGNANCY SAUCE AND IM GONE, LEAVING YOU WITH ONLY THE INMATES BEHIND YOU AS A CLUE. NONE OF THEM WILL TELL YOU IT WAS ME, BECAUSE THEY'VE FELIT IT AS WELL AND FEAR MY CRUEL AND SWIFT RETRIBUTION. I GUARANTEE IT.

HELLO. I AM NOT GEORGE ZIMMER, BUT JUST WANT TO SAY THAT ANY AND ALL POSTS BELOW THIS LINE WHICH ARE NOT GEORGE ZIMMER POSTS WILL BE DELETED. I GUARANTEE IT.

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HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE, I'D LIKE TO BEAT YOUR CHEST WITH MY ENORMOUSLY HEAVY, THROBBING PELVIC CROCODILE UNTIL I GEYSER A HUGE WATERFALL OF STICKY BABY DRESSING ON YOUR FACE. I'LL MOP IT UP WITH MY THICK HEAD AND SLAP IT ON YOUR LIPS SO THEY DON'T CHAP. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD YOUR DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS WILL NEED TO CHANGE THEIR SHEETS. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI IM GEROGE OJASP
I HAVE AMERICAN DOLLAR I PUT MY FIST INTO YOU PLS

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. MY WHOLE GIMMICK IS TALKING ABOUT MY REALLY BIG ERECTION AND HOW I USE IT. IT ISN'T REALLY FUNNY, AND TO MAKE IT WORSE, I POST IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME. YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO READ MORE THAN ONE OF MY POSTS TO GET THE JOKE. SO MOVE ON. YOU AREN'T MISSING ANYTHING. I GUARANTEE IT.

ZIMMER FUCKING ROCKS. KEEP THIS SHIT GOING, I LAUGH AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. I GUARANTEE IT.

this is funny because you guys talk like you don't understand english

yeah i know, you are so smart, guy that posted above me

thank you, i know, i have a college decree

HI... I'm GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THOSE OF YOU WHO WORK OR SHOP DOWNTOWN MAY HAVE NOTICED A VERY LARGE NUMBER OF TOOTHLESS BRIDGET COSPLAYING GAY MALE PROSTITUTES. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM, YOU MAY WONDER. EVERY TIME I GO OUT TO EAT AT SOME WANNABE UPSCALE RESTAURANT SOME HOMO WAITER ALWAYS TAKES OFFENSE AT THE WORD 'FAGGOT'. IN RESPONSE, I USUALLY ASK IF THEY'RE GAY AND WHEN THEY SAY YES I WHIP OUT MY MARBLE HARD GRECIAN MANPOLE FROM MY PANTS AND SHOVE IT DOWN THEIR WHINY LITTLE THROATS, SHATTERING THEIR TEETH WITH MY SHEER BRUTAL MANLY MEATTHING. GRABBING THEIR BLONDE LOCKS I RIDE THEIR BUCKING BOYMOUTHS UNTIL THEY SQUEEL JUST LIKE THE LITTLE PETER POOFTS THEY FUCKING ARE. NEXT TIME THEY GO TO WORK IT'S ON THE STREET, IN BRIDGET GARB, MAKING ME MONEY. I GUARANTEE IT.

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what

http://tinyurl.com/6ut8a <-- NICE ONE GENIUS

---------------NOW BACK TO GEORGE ZIMMER---------------

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. THE OTHER WEEK I WAS IN JAPAN VISITING THE FACTORIES THAT MAKE MY CLOTHING. AS I STROLLED DOWN THE AISLE OF 8 YEAR OLD BOYS SITTING AT SEWING MACHINES, ONE ASKED "ZIMMA-SAN, DO YOU LIKE MY COATS?" AND SO I BROUGHT HIM UP TO MY SUITE AND TIED MY PANTS AROUND HIS EYES AS I WHIPPED OUT MY MASSIVE STEELY CROTCH CACTUS AND BLITZED HIS REAR. HIS SCREAMS WERE DROWNED OUT WHEN I PULLED MY BLOOD-COVERED GATOR OUT OF HIS ASS AND TOSSED IT DOWN HIS THROAT INTO HIS SOOT-FILLED LUNGS. HE CHOKED TO DEATH AFTER MY MAN MAYO COATED HIS FEW FUNCTIONING ALVEOLI. I LEFT TWO WEEKS PAY, JUST OVER 4 AMERICAN CENTS, WITH HIS SOBBING FAMILY. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU BETTER START PRACTICING WITH 2 LITER COKE BOTTLES BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MY EXUBERANT EPIDERMAL CORDAGE. MY AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU BETTER START PRACTICING WITH 2 LITER COKE BOTTLES BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MY EXUBERANT EPIDERMAL CORDAGE. MY AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE'S GOT THAT ENORMOUS JAY LENO JAW WHICH MOST PEOPLE DON'T FIND ATTRACTIVE BUT THAT LARGE JAW ALLOWS ME TO CRAM EVERY FAT INCH OF MY GROIN EGGPLANT DOWN HER THROAT WHILE TEARS STREAM DOWN HER FACE AS SHE TRIES TO LIPSYNC THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. IF SHE BLACKS OUT, I JUST FLIP ON SPORTSCENTER AND CRACK OPEN A PABST ON HER BUCK TEETH. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. COME DOWN TO MEDICAL WAREHOUSE WAREHOUSE, WHERE WE CAN DIAGNOSE ANY DISEASE. YOU'RE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH MY AFFORDABLE, QUALITY SUITS, BUT WHAT YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW IS THAT I ALSO DIAGNOSE AND TREAT A VARIETY OF DISEASES. I LISTEN TO MY CUSTOMERS, AND MY CUSTOMERS WERE ASKING FOR MEDICAL ATTENTION. THAT'S WHY I'VE STARTED MEDICAL WAREHOUSE. WHEN YOU GO TO MEDICAL WAREHOUSE, YOU'LL BE IN A LOW PRESSURE ENVIRONMENT WHERE YOU CAN BE TREATED AT YOUR OWN PACE. WHETHER YOU NEED PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION, MINOR SURGERY, OR JUST WANT TO GET CHECKED, UP MEDICAL WAREHOUSE HAS THE TREATMENT TO FIT YOU. AND IN THE EVENT THAT YOU DIE OF MALPRACTICE YOUR CORPSE WILL BE PLACED IN A COMPLIMENTARY SUIT; EVEN IF YOU'RE A UNIQUE SIZE WE WILL FIND A SUIT TO LET YOU REST IN DIGNITY. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE.. I WOULD LIKE TO FUCK YOU NICE AND DEEP IN THE SHOWER - YOUR FIST CLENCHING HALF OF MY COCK AT THE BASE WHILE THE OTHER HALF SLOWLY PENETRATES YOU. YOU WILL BE BLINDFOLDED WITH A HAIR FULL OF SHAMPOO WHILE RECITING THE LYRICS TO THE BEATLES' ROCKY RACOON. WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT GIDEON'S BIBLE, I WILL IGNITE MY COCK FUSE AND BLOW A LOAD SO HUGE YOU'LL GROW AN ADAM'S APPLE. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. APPARENTLY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT ASCII TEXT TAKES UP LESS BANDWIDTH THAN IMAGES, WHICH IS TO BE EXPECTED FROM AN ASS-DRAGGING MAN WHORE LIKE YOURSELF THAT GETS KICKED OFF THE GOOD CORNERS BY TWELVE YEAR OLD BOYS LOOKING FOR EXTRA INCOME TO SUPPORT THEIR POKEMON ADDICTIONS. IF YOU'RE EVER INTERESTED IN BECOMING A REAL MAN, COME BY THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE WHERE I CAN GIVE YOU A TESTOSTERONE INFUSION IN THE BACK ALLEY WITH MY PATENTED PULSATING MAN HAMMER. I'LL SPREAD YOUR ASS CHEEKS WIDER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH, AND I'LL PLUNGE MY THUNDERING FLESH REDWOOD INTO YOUR WINKING PINK CHRYSANTHEMUM. SLIPPING ON MY STEEL WOOL GLOVES, I'LL GRAB YOUR MINISCULE QUIVERING JOYSTICK AND VIGOROUSLY MASSAGE IT UNTIL IT STANDS UP HARDER AND STRAIGHTER THAN A MARINE AT SHORT ARM INSPECTION WITH HIS FAVORITE DRILL SARGEANT. WHEN I FINALLY UNLEASH MY SHOWER OF MAN MAYONNAISE INTO YOUR COLON YOUR INNARDS WILL PULSATE IN JOYOUS ABANDON AND YOUR NIPPLES WILL EXPLODE WITH DELIGHT, RAINING MY SEX SAUCE DOWN UPON UNWARY PASSERSBY WHO WILL COWER IN FEAR OF THE SECOND COMING. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE - HEY PENCILDICK, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU MADE A WOMAN SING WHILE YOU THRUST YOUR SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WARRIOR'S GREATSWORD INTO HER GAPING MAW? I RECALL ONE OF THOSE TIMES I CAME ACROSS ONE OF YOUR LAME EXCUSES OF A LOVE AFFAIR, ONLY TO DRAG HER TO A MOTEL SIX AND GIVE HER A RIDE ON MY INTENSELY MEATY MUSHROOM. SHE WAS SO ESTATIC, SHE STARTED SINGING "OH HOLY NIGHT," ONLY SHE NEVER GOT TO HOLY. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO FLIP YOU SIDEWAYS ON TOP OF AN UPRIGHT PIANO, GRAB YOU BY THE PONY TAILS, AND FUCK YOU DEEP WHILE YOU RECITE THE POEM O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN. YOU'LL COME SO HARD I'LL NEED AN UMBRELLA. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU CAN REMINISCE ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD WHILE I WREAK HAVOC ON YOUR CERVIX. I'LL GRAB YOUR TITS AND YOU'LL COME SO HARD YOUR EYE PATCH WILL FLIP. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE YOU OGGLE MY HIGH QUALITY SUITS AT LOW LOW PRICES I'M GOING TO RIDE YOUR 48 WAIST WITH MY MACE OF RAPING +5. I'LL ROLL A NATURAL 20 AND YOUR ORGASM WILL BE SO PROFOUND THAT THE DM WILL FEEL IT. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE  MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONCE IN A WHILE I DECIDE THAT ME AND THE MISSUES NEED A BREAK FROM THE NON-STOP ROUTINE OF WORK AND HOUSEWORK, SO WE TAKE A DAY TRIP. USUALLY I ASK HER WHAT ROMANTIC COMEDY SHE'D LIKE TO SEE AND WHERE SHE WOULD LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER. AFTER WE GET HOME I DRAW HER A NICE, SOOTHING BATH AND BRING HER IN A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL AND LISTEN WHILE SHE TELLS ME ALL THE THINGS ON HER MIND. AFTER I MESSAGE HER FEET I SING HER TO SLEEP WITH MY SOOTHING BARITONE. THEN I RAPE THE FAMILY DOG. I GUARANTEE IT!

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THIS IS AN INTERACTIVE INTERNET STORYLINE, WHERE YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE CLUES TO FIGURE OUT WHERE MY PRODIGIOUS PHALLIC PROTUBERANCE ENDED UP LAST NIGHT. YOUR MOM LIVES ON A FARM IN THE MIDDLE OF BUMFUCK, MISSISSIPPI. LIFE IS STAGNANT UNTIL ONE DAY SHE WAKES UP WITH BOTH HER WITHERED FUCKHOLES STRETCHED WIDER THAN THE GRAND CANYON AND HER SAGGING MOUNDS SLATHERED IN AN EXTRA THICK COATING OF STICKY BABY SYRUP. FROM MULTIPLE POSITIONS I'LL GET TO CRACK YOUR MOM'S GAPING GASH, THEN LAMBASTE HER FACE WITH A TORRENTIAL RAIN OF MAN MUSTARD IN AN AWE INSPIRING LIKENESS OF VAN GOGH'S STARRY NIGHT. MY FLESH-HULLED RAPE BATTLESHIP WILL RAVAGE YOUR MOM'S ANAL HARBOR ALL THROUGH MARCH. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. A WEEK AND A HALF AGO IN AN ALLEY BEHIND HER WORKPLACE I THRUST MY INHUMANLY TURGID MEMBER INTO YOUR SISTER'S ANAL CAVITY. AS MY GARGANTUAN MEAT SPEAR PENETRATED HER BUTT PIPE SHE SCREAMED AND FAINTED, SMASHING HER FACE AGAINST THE HARD ASPHALT OF THE ALLEY. I FLIPPED HER OVER AND PULLED MY LOG OUT, TAKING CARE NOT TO GET BLOOD ON MY AMAZINGLY DAPPER SUIT AND THEN PROCEEDED TO FIRE MY JIZZ ROCKET ONTO HER GLASSES AND PUCKERED NIPPLES. PROMPTLY AFTER SHOVING HER IN THE TRUNK OF MY LEXUS I DROVE OFF INTO THE DARK NIGHT ONLY TO DROP HER OFF AT A REST STOP MOTEL WITH $1.50 IN CHANGE TO CALL A CAB. SHE ENDED UP TAKING A BUS HOME WHILE CALLING ME 6 TIMES ON MY CELL PHONE. WHEN I ANSWER ALL I HEAR IS WIMPERING AND A LOW MOAN. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I GUARNTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I WAS VISITING WITH MY BUDDIES IN THE SOVIET ARMY-- I WAS PLUGGING THOSE BUM-BOYS WITH SOLID BULLETS FROM MY 45MM PUMP ACTION YOGURT RIFLE WHEN I HEARD THAT BABYBATTER WAS DESPEATELY NEEDED TO FERTILIZE YOUR MOM'S WRINKLED MUCOUS-FLOWER. WELL, I FLEW RIGHT ON OVER AND PLUNGED MY AUGER-HEADED GUT WRENCH STRAIGHT INTO HER PULSATING FLESH CANYONS AND BEFORE LONG SHE'D DIED FROM THE PRESSURE OF MY MASSIVE BLUE-VEINED PUSS CHUCKER. I BOUNCED THAT CORPSE ON MY KIDNEY CRACKER LIKE A WELFARE MOM'S RENT CHEQUE AND BEFORE I KNEW IT MY GARGANTUAN TROUSER FLUTE WAS SPEWING ACIDIC BABY BATTER THAT FORMED THE LIKENESS OF THE VIRGIN MARY ON THE WALL. TEN THOUSAND MEXICANS CAME TO SEE. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI...I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AIDS. ONE NIGHT WITH ME, AND I GUARANTEE IT.

MEN'S WEARHOUSE BURNED DOWN IN 1979. STOP DELUDING YOURSELVES

HI. YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS.

The men's wearhouse isn't a physical PLACE, it's a state of engorged penistude.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I JUST WENT THROUGH PUBERTY AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING OTHER THAN BEATING MY MEAT LIKE A DRAFT HORSE EVERY CHANCE I GET AND THEN POSTING ABOUT IT IN ALL CAPS. I WISH I COULD TALK TO GIRLS BUT THEY HATE THE WAY I'M ALWAYS SHOUTING ABOUT MY BRAND NEW PUBIC HAIRS AND THIS AMAZING EJACULATE THAT COMES OUT IN TINY SPURTS AFTER A FRANTIC SESSION OF DOLPHIN POUNDING IN THE JR. HIGH SCHOOL BOYS ROOM OR SOMETIMES IN THE BACK CORNER OF THE LIBRARY WHERE ALL THE DICTIONARIES ARE KEPT I SURE DO LIKE MASTURBATING AND THEN POSTING ABOUT IT. THE NEXT UPDATE TO MY JACKING WILL PROBABLY BE JUST BEFORE I GO TO BED TONIGHT. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHEN I STALK A BLUE HAIRED REIBITCH OFF THE INTERNET, SHE NEVER FREAKS OUT AND CALLS THE COPS, AT LEAST NOT AFTER SHE'S HAD A GANDER AT MY SUPERB SEX SAUSAGE. WHEN I WHIP OUT MY TITANIC TOOL THE REACTION I GET IS ALWAYS THE SAME, SHE DROPS TO HER KNEES AND HER LIPS BEGIN TO QUIVER IN ANTICIPATION. I LET HER SLOBBER ON MY MAN HANDLE FOR A WHILE, THEN I GRAB HER BY HER BLUE HAIR AND FORCE MY THROAT ROCKET DOWN HER ESOPHAGUS. SHE INSTANTLY DRIBBLES CUNT SAUCE ON THE FLOOR AND STARTS JACKHAMMERING MY MEAT MONSTER. I BLOW A LOAD OF TONSIL LUBE DOWN HER THROAT WHICH KEEPS HER FULL FOR A WEEK. SHE CALLS ME SO MUCH I HAVE TO BLOCK HER NUMBER. I GUARANTEE IT.

HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUND AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AT THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE WE'RE KNOWN FOR OUR HIGH QUALITY, AND LOW PRICES. SOMETIMES SOME DISGRUNTLED SHOPPER WILL COME UP TO ME AND SAY 'GEORGE, I CAN GET THIS SAME EXACT SUIT FOR $200 LESS AT YOUR COMPETITORS'! CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS?' WHEN ASKED A QUESTION LIKE THAT I USUALLY TURN, LOOK THE CUSTOMER COOLY IN THE EYE AND SAY 'BUT THEIR SUITS DO NOT HAVE THE BUDDHA NATURE.' SINCE THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK A BUDDHA IS, THEY LAP IT AND LEAVE A GENEROUS TIP BESIDES! I GUARANTEE IT.