HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. IM HERE TO TELL YOU ALL OF MY AMAZING STORIES THAT MANY HEARD, BUT OTHERS DIDNT. SO I HAVE OFFICIALLY FOUNDED THIS THREAD WHICH WILL BE CONSTANTLY UPDATED WITH MY GREATEST HITS. I GUARANTEE IT.
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VIPPER2006-01-02 8:41
HI I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. EACH ONE OF MY SUITS AND TAILORED JUST FOR YOU, TO SUIT YOUR EVERY NEED. HOWEVER, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A BEACON IN EVERY CUFFLINK? I PERSONALLY INSTALLED EACH ONE OF THESE WHICH SEND A SIGNAL DURING THE LOWEST POINT OF YOUR LIFE. THE MOMENT THE ANGUISH OF SEEING YOUR WIFE DIE IN YOUR ARMS IS WHEN I'LL APPEAR, LIKE A FLASH, BEHIND YOU. THEN, IN AN INSTANT I'LL TEAR YOUR TROUSERS OFF MUCH IN WAY A GORILLA WOULD RIP CURTAINS WITHOUT A BANANNA PATTERN.
STILL IN SHOCK, YOU WILL ATEMPT TO LOOK BACK HOWEVER THE LAST THING YOU SEE IS THE BEAUTY OF MY ROLEX BEFORE MY FIST COLLIDES WITH YOUR SKULL. THEN, I FREE MY SUPREME MEMBER FROM IT'S ARMANI SHEATH, TWITCHING WITH THE JOY OF DEFILING A NEW ORIFICE.
WITH BOTH OF MY HANDS AND THE BLESSINGS OF THOR I SPREAD YOUR ASS APART, IT STILL CLINGING TO DISCOUNT BOXERS. MY THRUST SENDS SHOCKWAVES THROUGHOUT YOUR BODY, JOLTING YOU TO A CONSIOUS STATE OF HORROR/PLEASURE. MY MAGNIFICIENT POLE VOLT RENDING CLOTH AND ANUS MIXING THEM WITH YOUR WARM BLOOD. YOU TRY TO SHRIEK BUT YOU'RE JOLTED BY ANOTHER THRUST, QUICKER THEN THE LAST THANKS TO THE CRIMSON LUBRICATION.
THIS CONTINUES FOR ROUGHLY HALF AN HOUR BEFORE YOUR APARTMENT FLOOR CRUMBLES FROM THE SHEER COLOSSAL FORCE OF MY DAM PLUGGER. THE TENANTS AROUND US GAZE IN AWE AS I BLOW AN ARTILLERY LOAD LAUNCHING YOUR QUIVERING BODY FROM MY BLOOD-STAINED IMALER AND FILLING THE AIR WITH ENOUGH BABY BATTER TO OVERFLOW A CHILDREN'S POOL. MY WATCH BEEPS AND JUST AS QUICKLY AS I APPEARED I DISAPPEAR. OFF TO VIOLATE ANOTHER.
I GUARANTEE IT.