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Terrible[i]![/i] Jokes

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 5:15

Why did the Sussman cross the road?
To create a continuation on the other side.

Why couldn't Elie Wiesel play any Steam games?
He had a bad serial number.

Why did the lambda function wear a Guy Fawkes mask?
He was Anonymous.

Why do origami artists prefer Haskell?
The fold functions.

Why couldn't Stroustrup call anybody?
The operator was overloaded.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 5:27

My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 5:30

When was the last time /prog/rider took the bath?
In his dream.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 5:36

What's the difference between Python and rape?
There's none. Both are forced indentations and harmful for society.

Why women love C++ more than LISP?
Because C++'s tabs are longer than LISP's.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 7:18

>>1
nice

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 9:09

Why are Jews purely functional?
Because they have no [b]state[/b]

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 9:37

>>6
that doesn't even make sense. And purely functional doesn't mean no state. It means no mutable state.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 10:29

Okay, here's a joke:

Java.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 11:12

>>3
nightmare

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 11:29

penis

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 12:06

>>7
I don't know what's worse. You're grammar or your moronic statements.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 13:23

>>4
forced indentations

oh god my sides

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 13:28

Why did the Seihou cross the road?
Because her girlfriends were on the other side!

Why is 4chan so shitty?
This question is left as an exercise to the reader.

Name: VIPPER 2012-04-14 13:54

>>1
You should post this to /lounge/, they would appreciate.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 15:32

>>6
Back to /b/, ``please'' !

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 15:47

>>11
I don't know which is worser, you'r inability to understand the ambiguous usage of the term purely funtional, or your waste of dubs.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 16:39

Your moms so fat the recursive function computing her mass caused a stack overflow

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 17:32

Sussman is Jewish and the Jews are completely evil and sadistic persons...


It is strange, but I have never seen a non-Jewish commissar in the Red Army. How do I know about the nationality of the commissars? My father was a doctor. Therefore, all held in command of military units always passed through him. Our village was not far from Kiev, and we heard rumors about things happening in Kiev... parents even frightened their kids with the name of local commissar Blustein. When Kiev and our village were occupied by Denikin forces, my father went to Kiev to purchase medicines for his hospital. Piles of corpses - victims of the Cheka - have not yet been cleaned, and my father saw them with his own eyes. Corpses with torn nails, flayed shoulder straps in place and stripes, dead, crushed under the pressure. But the most terrible picture that he saw were 15 dead bodies with empty skulls, pierced by some blunt instrument. The people told him what was the method of torture. Commissar pierced victim's head, and the next victim was forced to eat its brain. Then commissar repeated the procedure with victim that just ate brain, opening his own head.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 17:43

>>16
No

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 17:57

>>19
what is a closure?

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 19:59

>>22
nice

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 20:02

Cheka 'em, comrades!

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-14 20:32

>>21,22
Nice samefag, bro.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-15 1:34

One can write bug-free code, but a team cannot.

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-16 4:38

you know what's a joke? putting BBCODE tags on the title

Name: Anonymous 2012-04-16 4:45

SICP

Name: bampu pantsu 2012-05-29 4:24

bampu pantsu

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-17 17:09

Did you hear that Apple plans to change their name to Tim Cook, Inc.?
Can you imagine that? A computer company named after a fruit!

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-17 17:22

>>1
I always thought that function is a 'she.' I'm confused now.

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-17 17:42

True chaos theorists never die. They just bail out.

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-17 17:51

>>30
you are an amazing creature ^__^

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-19 11:50

瀈⤱᝹犆抈喐㡲䐄蠅倶瀘牣㉖颃灷ɳ呰頀撅怦≶搗‸逨鍵␓㠑夨⡃ɴ䥲恗ᅖᄈ脈€偈猆椢✡၄ࢉ灘嘅䝆㝡餑㈩鄶塐鄠敧᥄蠠᠖䉖ᕓ㤂ᄷ噘䤐㤧⥖ց؆䔥ᑙ钆㕴㘶ᝩ䕲≈搷邅楂≸⎓䔈獙ᔀ҅春㤨ԥ扷打с腈掕㞑䚐杖挒煗晈љ球㑖䝂襶∕⥈ᒒ餩梐㥥ࡳ╩掕頠灱䡡䍘恱椥㜠w䉘㥧耣葔灔䔱䎙ឃ眄莇ѣ蔂☶ɷፅ捹茶衦❄㘤┰⤅靣⥗霓隆̀䊉瑁ঐ厒昄鑗ၢ桖᜶瞔…䡗ᕸ堡䉵অ䐡璓ݩ础虄㕸鉨℘墀塨愁砓酱㜄榀杒≀䘃抉省愈䜰祑脔顇i眤䘃咆ᆓ榆傒㌖㤡鐳⥲ሄ。昶疗颀ܤ慕倆̡遄⚐႖㑥͠腃䌙睲␒⡄ѷҖ⦉舵⢀᥀ႀㅵئ㌖㡣♷║጗酦䞇璐靇冁⦑ڑ㞅ᄨᢗ儔阕杸⌦ቅ掗捶᝹琂ţؤ吵…dᐒ梃匂ၤ肁灆聕䝸犖錇ᅶ褳耥㉖⢈餓ढ噸ᕒ茳↗☇ᔢ㚗琷ព䖓攩䆉愔皅昧饥ሀ萀戆隗虦䙵؂蔁㝗腄吶镄荑

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-19 12:04

愥⒃㈗ᜣ㐰⡴ኘը䍀朗蔷㞕ᤔ嘥ࡹጘ斆䥈ų萩鍥楳疄蚒㤩噘⠠衆䖙鈘艀猲㢕蠩ɵ牴慴㐒剂镵衐靤ŵ摶ᠩ㌴ገ处疖衒銉㕓䤆ម砖᜸࠙ᘉ昙皈瑃ᙓፖ呄鐔ޖᅂ⒖朤ᄇ䠹畅嘰ᜰ䐲禂∥㜓戇̅㈤䠴蔈⦂酁颖熇螑㌤薑ݣȴ头蝕琢ぶ煄陂衆鉠搆阵㒆蝅奒䡙衱⡕䤃呃䅤∱换牧ऑॆ✖冇㞆䘗ↅ䅁錒鍤㘱Ň祲址皘⁣㈕०ぅ儴‸茂ᖉ劕ܐ耕饔悂ᘸضᢂ偣判悗頗⤔嘶抖䌦鈡慠ᐂ⢁〧肓艑吲敠ܔ奢ᢓ饶≈⦒梂舁掄䠤⥐ࡐ玙慳♡٧敕㘩ᐖᜤ㖆鉲℗㒉䤖襩椲䥱ᦀⅥₐ䜅↕㜣‣葵阡卸艩ទ█⥡咁蕐蚉䙧朂兦硑ց梅搹㥴ᥑ⊁栅Ⅵ⤘怒ᤩ♓慀䥅Ѣ祈 䈡⒐獶➒襑ᤦę␩㄁鉡ኀᜦ悆ᅸ㔷摢҂疀श荵㑕ᡖᎆ蚙㑰㌥㒉餒倢䉶葉錦࢖畑牃鉉࠵焈䡀阈吁萇䕄用Р杣螄莅䡅璕㑈鉨䀁Ģ搲˜栃刱鈀傕ط榇犒陆奱⠥禑㙶ᒀ瀨䅸匐

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-24 22:59

Why should you avoid non-free() software?
Because GC is shit and memory leaks are even shittier!

Why is the heap full of 8-byte allocations?
There was a double free() bug!

What do you call a guy who builds houses out of unallocated heap space?
A free() mason!

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-24 23:26

My smell has no he.
How does Terrible!
Dog.

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-25 1:04

>>34
Groan

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-25 1:41

Recruit schizophrenics to cut your pair programming costs in half

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-25 4:00

>>37
That isn't what schizophrenia is. You're referring to SPD.

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-25 12:13

⡃莑⒂眆眩㍁ΐ䥴鐷怴䉩⤖錀鑥ↈ㈧㚉袈隉儧զ阩㎒杰舩Ηࡆ、ĉ蝑䐃ă⍢❶ᜠ煹̩瑖〗䈧❡㠵霘ᐘ瀕ㅈ㤙㠑Ġ„蘔兀蔄倶頓成ᙠ睵晁㝒晆Ѐ䜣瑔鄂ِ楸呦阔ࠀ玕掙㆕ᐧ灹▁脀1扖䘙ጁ腩钂┦⑘桡䐐䑥煃ㄨᢑ皉瞃䐸ɠ㥂„琲醇ち捒ᘙ栄吇遗悄頓ᄖ圵剀㉔䈘䁢呕⒀㡑銔Ԩ琗昈異椕᠘ͳ睗㕧匒【᎖味鉀喉偱㠷蕅鈓ʅ禈朦唧䔖⢐栧搆祤ᖙ獇錱甦ᜰ砐衴餸㝇䙀䍁螓猄嘐䅣锄ㄷ㤗ℷ晤ࢇ坉祷儧঄鍂㙙茱睁呄䅘⠗ᡑ禗兕ض儩蒃ʀ畦衢㞒ɡ瑩Җ坦爡㝧怲Ը持⤲䂄恐Җ㤦䥥䀱鄒恇怗靂㍔艓䊀㌰₂ᙥ⦃顄蝷憓㦈月鑈≰片熈匤當膒饩᝔ㄗ蕗硲㑧ᒗ甩膀儁斓㊖❂饉ኘᚆ蝷悀ᑉ襖袇椈⚗䞔处㉇钖堣㍤ᄅ䑂荧䄉䡆䢗啷⥇愡遂䉐效犙⠷ጢ㢓आ桅▃ሃ厃蝇ᜀ扒颈祸硈隓蠂ᄶ☆聂搡䉲ࡠ⒉慠㍲晁襘ᅰ蚕敔㡅

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-25 12:29

嘥ᖘQ噅鉆腤鍀饡劆劅炐䝸ㅒƂ䢂偐钇㉔钂D蜈ⅈ蚔㝘∘᠗で蠉➂葤㐨(聑‴逨ᙈ噣桀蚇㎄䥀́攁挣極⑈㘄ᅀ靹衷㌠㤉蝡蝰椙҂⁈&眂ࡖ薙挓䥩救饰唄顁敦ጉ搰㌃⦕⦔艣夐鍘東噧礂噑奤牸䒀䉃攢▁卧瘔劖瑘㘠☔朑䠵梃➕᥈剸⤙䉤ち१䉇瑶栥塄䈁钀眣玀饹慡顖噃㉄牣㥂鍉遃栄衙と鑙刈ᅱ坲㙈坁∷ᖘ䄀脒ᘨ戆ᘵ冗唇ē̒䑴鞕䤓靲⤗犗朥ና䤳䁁祆焱腆鄰邃㆑㐲䔠䀤鞂ㅖᐕ圠㘰瘓爱呄㈆㎈堁荷蒉頩塶攖恐䥰⤤㖇ֆↈ腆鉆㥧ᙙ✴鄃蘨儔㚙ѣ怨刕馇❠祄呅褶摧㐁ၐ啹⤐錂镉萳焱甥薒報营㆓脙嘀㈓Ĥŗ䕉嘸ও夘9ᐗ剸煱鉒⠣恘唥‧鑅嘇䒐衩錵䙁耕䕤钖ሡ蜧坶葳ᆀᑵ⠤㠓扲ԕ蜷㖄䈒ण⊐Ȕ椲"癖禓堓具䄔␹剤聧䦑㑀Ɂ脳摔⁢ᄶс摦䢔瀦╵䜖慳圃㌖ٶ蚘⚃ᚕ吳退邈⌄週䤹瀦♇睗堉畓䞙堉䅓⤳㑕

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-25 12:44

⤸禇ቸ㖕႓̴ै璉码萓ᘵ禔蒇ᠲᢑ兤萡⦒嚀䅑茘Ƃ颈瘡茥г㌉祖➁☰͖ɓ酓ᡙ䠥䉘邁礄阶愷࢓
鄙倷刂癳⌂〓判▇᜸咅摹ሓ鉷灗扲搹 璖刣襖陶噴蝄甀襡㞀䄥鑷㤃晒ᜦݰ䊓㌴獆᜖蝵ࡢ虄吗昰鑸䉨猅祒ɒ杓㥤ȳ畩᎐茵❃砤ሙ℠睷㉗᠀草坂ņ夐⡅Ķ敠㈈ᢘ㈅䄨䁸塰㜩⠴⍧逈┲㕳ℴᒆ镹癈劃玂䌲坂╀虀㊖愕आ昔阇㐧瀐❷镢咓儸锷搰襔刔ᝤᖉ⡢䤐ⅳ舤ᐱ删तⅲ䀉偂東挢餱危瀔蝒畨ᑖ₂页࠰芔Ղ饆ᡤ㘶慒唥ȶ⁖䔉╆皇愶㔲⤙北煈ጦ利敩刲ᤸ鈘瀈肖昇䅷鍂虸倂⌁ℕ⥩΀啉⡶褳脂㡕✄蔄错䄴䊗梉㙄錑䙣癣攧䈄㕩倄䜶⑙愳啇䚄鞇镢愑⤳⎀镈牣᝖镣甓靅襆瀵࠰偷Ɣ祠堕唴շ荄㞒❡奓耠≠邖爴鈇刐昳⒅呦ᥠけԈ兙。⑒ٸ蒒鉢獤䤕按恃ᦂ袃獐聩妁ㄵ䞕䅸ᥩ酙蚙Ѹ吲化栰ᄥ阘䌨蒑䉓閅䑁耆颔䙖匑蠸㑳

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 4:55

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 4:55

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 4:55

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 4:55

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 4:56

What is the definition of trust?
Two cannibals sucking each other's dicks

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 4:56

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 15:16

Why did the program segfaulted?
It was written in C/C++.

Why do they call it C/C++?
Because it is a mess.

Name: VIPPER 2012-06-26 15:23

>>48
C/C++?
What is this shit!

I program in C never had a sexfault.

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-26 16:32

>>49
That's because you don't know how to use pointers.

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-27 4:24

My joke has no punchline.
How do I expect you to laugh?
Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-27 6:35

阆ဓ脆朆喘P衦琠ऀ匉螖ሆ慥儑扙Хڑ⍵ڒ摇␱堩䐂慡舱䞅睁瑇吅䊕#劐鄃犃䤰荒薗ᅘ琵戧䡢ᑳ聐㉸⁒啡蚕襲䆓蒔预蘔㥓င⌖碇鞙夨㝀扈蚄嚕䥁ᢇ炁㝩鈥⚗醆挱钇㚃œ鍇戳ݘぃ礐畦┅劐舩顗蝨蝆顶⒘㍷̂ᥒ襈牆⢓④成硣捶ᐶ鉣要ᆘᑙᅦᤘ銈镃敔㘕䙖镦杶ᅓ牴ࢆ☀⡩ʆ㘙̵虱厒蘰呂萢莃㙓香瘇䒗砱挧摨ٴ蕕᜙ᜑ㝧瘆〒刅⌦ф聲核䡃䎃䤠堐䜩頧獳䍈向鑲霨蜰⠤⡱dؕ冖塹✆⠒∆饂㔩楇⍈ံ褩ɳ䈴ݵ杣鞂䠆餸㝔耶ᒉ扈恙䝳ㅤ礘䉖塡卒灳≢㙨Ȉ挐㌩ᘃㅔ䆀㦔㡢夥急砹ݵ錰ᙂ掑䈹䡙腳玆᜴ᔲ怐䕹戃愥䄷碅ԗ㜓䕆䅴ॳ芄斂㎗䜷䡂᜷቙㢆℆٩ሷ挶ら䉵䑲䈢列茸隒陲ł战ᜄ⡸艡㘦顰鑨茵㔴⡐萓㡵ቘ卆ሖ劖怅ِᠡ酇碙䡉䁑昕թ灅獴鄂ㅧ㞔茂匔䐵☗荲ㄸ䄰晀儕静̵荠嘥怸Ⅰ茣色㡂ゑ靵塖嘈⑹蘳䉑

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-27 6:43

䉤怐鄤摴İ斗卂锇घ嘱Ⅷ焘ц霘北椲腸␄e错靰④襵䠒─吔琗蜁ᒉ邐䍣顶焀䆉䐄顧║䅀呲䁂偕煢ऱ呣邃▙奔⍙䅨肘抗Ͷ術瑁璃㝷兴➖䚃⌐⠶恑異⦓ᆔ̱ᦖ喘⑲Ģٲ持Ź蜆皘儒㜵՗皕坩‥㌖⁰䑑杷妘灃瀔┤䠓酗昣㎒栰儙梕㡒聗袂撀⒕㜧䚗妅⢘ၘᔠ䡹⡠瀘晩㡅琲战⊕枕炇吇癓➖̶㔱鑀㝉❠R葔Ђ頴㍙聧顢⌣恒ፗ愈⠔䍇閕䑐̳萰嘔Ķ፦⌒␄Ʌ⥨癣蔘ذ瀳鄗奧㈸┘煔靹㒅悀憓㡙塵襅蚙㥇複唕䦘硴甉栔め٣萧Դ阣ࠄ㌨ᐳٗ䤁蒐瘐䌦ᤑ぀̡☵摰衘䊂ᝧؘ脢昒⊂達␕钅⅑ဧ皖だㆃ甘薓艇≔匐咙Ɩ暉べ֙䑩づ撇薅թន坅ስ㐇脐⦈Ɂ䡐禁牀剱捰碒椆᎕ᐲ㍕ᒅᆒ䈷䈅葘䉐䔖〰䒂偁ቆᕐ㝱蝅省䑰䉳䂕㕑蠖ᑖ䅔奧衙ᝑ᝖␳㆑所椦✁虳酸ሒ䈱饕ↈ鑣䙲㠘❄牰霓䘈ٗ♢挧䙈ႅ框蜥犁ㄐ٤ဴ㙡朩锕匑┳䐣䤗

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-27 6:48

匢Ͷ董䘐扢↉焁〖適瑁⢄卡蠤唵㕂ᥑ☀嘨䅳㐑㈣蒒ࠉ⥧࠴晡颐ᎇ鉩╇‱頡⦀餀䄣顤鈣ᑘ倈挠Ⅸ玉ᕴ䀉鉀琷呓萅㢗☐䅁瘣革憐ޅᙵ㌖՗䡘楣茦圱钙楀奤褈瘁䄰嘁ʄ妙删椧㆒Ԡ↔"牉疅脠㍁獓♧ផ⤤甥偃鐸ၷ╖䄩掘咁䐂處䁠錘䔠椧砶砆桘ɴԹ➆褶╳ሰ虡肘噇匡甹҅⠉艨醂除ጒ晙癱䆄ԃ椩ጰ斈ᥙ刨⅂剗噇怇᠉饀ႁ䅶靕兖࢘啲搁♆蠡剳爰ᕨᄷ䕆䍰銀董鈁㈗္ډ⤁≇ࡔ䅅☰⠷堖剈荩㑵效膁Ѷ恣╠焘⥶ݗ膖へ玄ၥՀ鍴ԗ␰塡鞆鄉ቨ镘㉐椴⁁鈓ᦆ嘠وₕ栴┵兴ᅙᐁᆉ阢摅堐ᔠ奵摲┃栅塈瑙怹兴䡇螘ᜱ牢㎕怃皗焥备ޔታ㞉钑餷䉈晈⌲ᄃ畡咗茲ݠ猐䁒蚒ᡠ喅ܠبو斒霑脒膗扶煘襢け㔄㡈睗≳鞒挥█䜆ㄠ蠹鉕ᚅ⡷硲儅㑂䂕褓捘錹千ն癦鑒瀇᜹ᎈ䥙坃Җ教ᘥ厄陂も聄虉Ĵ慑餢㕢蝉癇ᝒ࡙脷ԃ䅲芔陴

Name: Anonymous 2012-06-27 8:00

>>7
It does, unless you can attest that the state of Israel is mutable.

Name: Anonymous 2012-07-20 18:57

Why should you always watch your step when using two-prong outlets?
Because there's no ground!

Why did Steve Ballmer wear a face shield to the Windows 8 presentation?
In case it blows up in his face!

Name: Anonymous 2012-07-20 21:55

>>50
Or because he DOES know, very well, and thus never fucks up.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-09 19:34

What's Ayn Rand's favorite programming language?
Objective-C.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-09 20:04

saging a shit thread

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-09 20:21

shitting a sage thread

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-09 20:45

GNU: a world without gates and jobs

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 2:05

I use a pretty obscure kernel, you've probably never Hurd of it before.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 2:22

>>62
back to /g/

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 2:27

>>62
<img src="Stallman_wearing_hipster_glasses.jpg"/>

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 2:28

>>64
back to /g/

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 2:38

>>65,67-
Back to /g/

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 3:40

>>63,65
Fuck off, ``faggot'', that was actually funny.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 4:21

What did Larry Wall get his wife for her birthday?
A Perl necklace.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 4:28

Larry -Wall

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-11 5:33

Why did the buffer object cross the bus? His GF was on the other side.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-16 23:29

Why are there no electronics on dead-end streets?
There's no outlet!

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 1:48

>>49,50
Well played.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 1:53

Why did Stallman get arrested for shoplifting in a liquor store?
Because he thought beer was free.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 1:54

What did the text under the spoiler say?                 

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 1:57

>>63,65
You must be GNU here.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 1:58

>>77
What did the int say to the float

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 1:58

>>76
Check my doubles.

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-17 2:05

>>78
When does the narwhal bacon?

>>78
Back to le reddit, ``please''.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-03 12:44

Did you know they made a movie about a Go optimizing compiler?
They called it Waiting for GO.EXE.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-03 14:14

>>79
Waiting for GO dot...
Brilliant!

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-11 1:00

What's the Unicode character for Java?
(‎ ㈽ ‎)    323D     PARENTHESIZED IDEOGRAPH ENTERPRISE

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-11 1:06

PARENTHESIZED
Sounds more like Clojure than Java...

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-19 15:38

Why are so many Mac users unemployed?
There's no more Jobs!

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-20 4:25

>>81
Ha!

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-20 7:08

Why BASH has such a quirky syntax?
Because commies perfectly clone capitalist ideas.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-20 7:14

Why RPN is Polish?
Because Jews write right-to-left.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-27 22:44

How did Holmes know that Watson is always constipated?
He always says ``No shit, Sherlock!''

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-27 22:58

>>86
I laughed pretty hard.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-27 23:24

Why did the Mac user turn himself in?
He saw ``You have stopped jobs'' on October 5, 2011.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-28 1:35



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Name: Anonymous 2012-10-10 19:26

What do they call the Russian spammer on /prog/?
Ivan the Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-10 19:40

>>91
I chortled.

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 1:12

>>91
"Ivan" is a Hebrew name.

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 3:52

>>93
Lol, guys, guys look, I think we've the only non-Russian on this board XDDDDD

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 3:52

>>94
*we've found

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 5:49

>>94
>>95
Shalom!

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 7:41

Salam, al-Ahmed.

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 8:39

✡ Asshalom alaikhem ✡

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 15:17

dubs

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-11 16:46

↑↑↑

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-12 0:47

``If C were a Jehovah's witness''

Knock knock

Who's ---
SEGMENTATION FAULT. CORE DUMPED.

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-20 20:28

Why aren't 12-year-olds or pedophiles allowed on 4chan?
Because they're fucking kids!

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-20 20:50

Why shouldn't you eat a whole apple?
You'll dump core!

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-20 20:52

>>103
Fuck you. I laughed.

Name: Anonymous 2012-10-20 22:18

Why did the origami artist never map?
Because he preferred to fold.
Why do anarchists like Haskell?
Because it has no state.

Why did the doctor prescribe Haskell?
Because it has no side-effects.

Why would I never use a car?
Because I get more out of a cdr.

~Desu

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-14 8:18

Why did the Pharaoh request Bitcoin for his Lisp interpreter?
Because he was building a pyramid Scheme.

Why did the web developer cross the road?
To get to the JavaScript conference on the other side.

How can you tell when you're in an autist's house?
Everything's cdr-coded.

What did one Redditor say about the other Redditor's peanut butter sandwich?
Not even jelly.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-14 10:03

better one free on the heap than one heap on the free

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-16 12:33

Why do people smoke after sex?
Too much friction!

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-16 14:53

>>108
I don't get it!

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-20 12:04

What did the Sussman say to the bodybuilder?
``Do you even lambda lift?''

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-20 12:38

>>109
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhQKM_MG26k

Name: Anonymous 2013-02-12 15:29

Why do computer scientists hate the Ω combinator?
It's impossible to type!

Name: Anonymous 2013-02-12 15:41

>>111
I'm glad such a shitty response killed the thread for a while.

Name: Anonymous 2013-02-12 15:43

Meanwhile, here's a choose your own punchline!

My dog's got no dictionary.

How does he spell terrible?

How does he spell? Terrilbe!

Name: Anonymous 2013-02-12 15:55

>>114
Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2013-02-18 1:52

Who designed Lemote?
Sum Dum Goy.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-10 1:39

What's the difference between a guy who shovels in the cold and a guy who spams /prog/?
The guy who shovels in the cold is a numb digger...

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-10 1:47

>>117
And the guy who spams /prog/ is a...?

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-10 3:05

who would shovel in the cold except a dumb nigger

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-10 5:55

ܫܼܠܡ ܠܟܘܢ>>98

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-13 0:18

>>121
For once the cartoon spam is relevant to the thread!

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-31 18:14

Why does Richard Stallman have a big nose?
Because air is Free.

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-01 12:41

Why does Simon Peyton Jones rotates the Universe to insert a lightbulb?
To avoid side effects.

Name: Funsize Funnies 2013-04-01 23:01

Simply Smiffy

Teacher : "Right, class. What's the capital of France?"

Smiffy raise up his hand.

Teacher : "ERM...okay, Smiffy. What's the answer?"

Smiffy : "F!"

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-01 23:21

My dog has half a nose.
How does he smell?
Poorly!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-02 1:52

My dog has slightly more than half a nose.
How does he smell?
Not half bad!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-02 2:23

My dog has a whole nose.
How does he smell?
Good!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-15 23:25

In Communism, you check your privilege.
In Capitalism, the privileged check YOU!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-15 23:48

>>58
I chuckled

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-16 0:25

In Soviet Russia, privilege checks you!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-16 8:24

In privilege Russia, Che viet socks you!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-16 8:24

In soviet /prog/, dubs check you!

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-16 16:46

There was this magnificent mathematical horse. You could teach it arithmetic, which it learned with no difficulty, algebrawas a breeze, it could even prove theorems in euclidean geometry, but when you tried to teach it analytic geometry, it wouldrear back on its hind legs, kick ferociously neigh loudly and make violent head motions in resistance.

The moral of this story is that you can't put Descartes before the horse.

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-17 0:21



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Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 1:23

Why does Irish Lisp only have eval?
Because no Irish need apply!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 4:48

>>160
tee hee!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 4:52

>>160
>>161
racist

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 6:13

>>160
Foreigners need an explanation!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 7:07

>>163
No. Foreigners need to fuck off back to their shitty third world BBSes.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:14

>>164
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:19

check 'em

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:19

Short Ireland Jokes

Q: Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?
A: There's one less drunk.

Q: How does every Irish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Irish man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: What's the difference between Ireland and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Q: How do you blind an Irish woman?
A: You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: What do you call an Irishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!!

Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Cos they're always a little short

Q: What is black and blue and found floating up sidedown in the Irish sea?
A: Someone who's tells a stupid Irish joke

Q: Why did God invent whiskey?
A: So the Irish would never rule the world.

Q: What is Irish diplomacy?
A: It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip.

_______________________________________________
http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/worldjokes/irelandjokes.html

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:32

But John McCarthy was Irish! Stop insulting the smart and talented people, who gave us Lisp!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:34

>>168
I don't think so...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCarthy_%28computer_scientist%29
Lithuanian Jewish immigrant mother

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:42

McCarthy didn't give us shit either.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:42

>>169
Doctoral advisor     Solomon Lefschetz
Oh g-d!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 10:48

>>170
He
gave us

LISP.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 13:04

>>172
No, he didn't. He stole the work of his students and presented it as his own, like every other kike.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 13:48

>>171
Variants of scripture
 
Lebeschitz (1 comments)  

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Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 13:53

>>170
Yet he invented AI. And wiki says "He advised 30 PhD graduates."

And what have an average /prog/tard achieved in his life?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 14:06

>>175
Satori?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 15:52

>>175
The full exposure of jewish lies and crimes.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-22 17:56

>>173
What if his students were kikes?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-29 10:22

Why do niggers have big noses?
Because they smell more!

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-29 10:26

>>178
All of them? Why not a single African-American?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-29 10:30

>>180
*NIGGER

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-29 13:57

>>180
IIRC one of his students was African-American Jew, emigrated from South Africa.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-29 14:02

>>182
*NIGGER KIKE

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-29 17:44

OLD MACDONALD HAD A POWERPC CPU
EIEIO

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-25 12:46

What did Moses say to G-d about the constipated Jews?
Let my people go!

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-25 17:31

>>183
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-25 18:24

>>186
OH NO YOU DON'T.  LEAVE YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT IN LOUNGE WHERE IT BELONGS.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-28 7:51

I can't take credit for this, but wish I could!


I was gonna write some C++, but then I got high

I was gonna skip all that .NET stuff, but then I got high,

Now I'm stuck with non-deterministic finalization, and I know why.

Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-28 12:07

>>188
back to /g/

Name: Anonymous 2013-09-05 17:31

Did you hear about the Jew who survived the Holocaust?
He passed gas every day and didn't take a shower for 4 years!

Name: Anonymous 2013-09-09 13:21

What does ``Israel'' stand for?
Six Megakikes and Constantly Kvetching

Name: Anonymous 2014-01-28 18:17

If it ain't recursive, don't fix it!

Name: Anonymous 2014-01-28 19:45

>>189
glad we got rid of you

Name: Anonymous 2014-01-30 11:06

>>193
Is >>189 the /pedo/rider guy?

Name: Anonymous 2014-01-30 13:42

>Why do origami artists prefer Haskell?
I read that as Origami Autists

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-16 1:54

What do you get when you cross /sci/ with /x/?
Tinfoil fedoras!

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-17 12:28

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who know binary, and those who regularly have sex.

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-17 13:06

My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
Don't change these.
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