Just got fired

Howdy, /prog/!  Just got fired from a corporate 'Front-End Developer' position!  jQuery all day and night, CSS, and an introduction to the ENTERPRISE world.
I'm broke as shit, and need a job quick!

ASCII art is welcome, as it will cheer me up. 
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)

Tell me about the web development world and write any highlights of positions, or whatever I'm supposed to endure/enjoy.

　　　　　　　　（｀ 錯　´）
　　 ∧ ,∧　　（・ω・´,,） Go search on your local job classifieds web site
　　(･д#(⊂＝　　(''⌒）
＿(__つ/￣￣￣/￥__〈
　　＼/ DELL /
　　　　￣￣￣

　　　　　　　　（｀ 錯　´）
　　 ∧ ,∧　　（・ω・´,,） I failed muh BBCode
　　(･д#(⊂＝　　(''⌒）
＿(__つ/￣￣￣/￥__〈
　　＼/ DELL /
　　　　￣￣￣

>3
On the job hunt, too?

>>4
I've finished the last project I was on and now I'm looking for work.

If you go and be cleaner to wash toilet or be an road sweeper, you will get your job faster !

I've been living off of 1.50$ a day, rice beans eggs sometimes some lettuce/cabbage and eggs. I need a job too, but HR always rejects me because I'm too White, too male, and too heterosexual. I tried smearing feces over my body during an interview once, hoping the stench and color would trick them into thinking I was from India on an H1B. They called me a racist antisemite though. Sometimes I dream about what it would've like to comb and pet Rumia's hair, and if she would let me stay with her in the basement of her mansion. I really need to find.a place to stay, but it's hard when the Jews have ruined your life.

If you don't have a LinkedIn account, the Jews in HR will make sure thou never get a job.

You're expecting a job when you just told us you got fired? Being laid off is different, you were fired, go back to school.

>>9
Get back to work weak minded goy.

>>9
I did fairly well considering never having worked with C#/ASP.NET.  With the exception of the project manager, the other programmers didn't even seem that talented; all day was mostly conservative/bro politics and fuckups from code that didn't work.  I'm not saying that I am that good, but I felt on-par with the others.

>>11
Why were you fired, then? Personal conflicts?

>>1
got fired
That is what you get for being antisemite. Say thanks you are alive, because in USSR antisemites were shot dead by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheka

>>11
Now he's trying to brag... the weakest link gets cut off when you get fired, but when you get laid off you were still the weakest link, but tolerable.

It gets worse. I was fired about half a year ago and now I write python under an ancient and cruel old man. He makes impossible demands and has refused to update the interpreter for at least three years. I suck at interviews, so it's the best I could get.

I just finished begging my father to lend me money to pay my rent at the end of the month. If I don't get a job soon, I don't know what I'm going to do.

>>12
It was a temp to hire position I worked for 3 weeks through an employment agency.  I typically equate being laid off with being fired, as it means the same thing to me.  The company was recently bought out by a huge corporation, and I was meant to replace the UI/UX designer. 

They said my skills were not yet ready for production, or something along those lines.  However, they used my work on their live site within 2 days of working there, and I designed a whole promotion page in another 2 days.  It wasn't like I was learning CSS on the job or anything.

It must have been something I did that day because the project manager was talking to me about doing some more work a day before I was hired.   

>>14
I'm not bragging.  I've never worked with .NET before, but I figured it out fairly quickly.  I just needed to mention that the other programmers weren't exactly /prog/ tier, more like brogrammers than anything.

>>17
>It must have been something I did that day

You weren't wearing deodorant, were you?

>>18
Oh, I made sure to do that.  I actually just looked around on my first day to get an idea of the dress code and avoided talking about anything controversial.  I had a good rapport with everyone, and it seemed like everyone wanted me there. 

Alas, I must go back on the job hunt.  Is Perl good to put on a resume?
                     .--.      .'  `.
                   .' . :\    /   :  L
                   F     :\  /   . : |        .-._
                  /     :  \/        J      .' ___\
                 J     :   /      : : L    /--'   ``.
                 F      : J           |  .<'.o.  `-'>
                /        J             L \_>.   .--w)
               J        /              \_/|   . `-__|
               F                        / `    -' /|)
              |   :                    J   '        |
             .'   ':                   |    .    :  \
            /                          J      :     |L
           F                              |     \   ||
          F .                             |   :      |


Maybe I'll just do Python...

   _________         _________
  /         \       /         \  
 /  /~~~~~\  \     /  /~~~~~\  \  
 |  |     |  |     |  |     |  |
 |  |     |  |     |  |     |  |
 |  |     |  |     |  |     |  |         /
 |  |     |  |     |  |     |  |       //
(o  o)    \  \_____/  /     \  \_____/ /
 \__/      \         /       \        /
  |         ~~~~~~~~~         ~~~~~~~~
  ^

>>19
cute! Put both!

check 'em

>>420
nice dubs bro

>>19
Was your skin White? Are you a masculine male? Are you heterosexual?

>>23
Sports are gay.

>>22
Thanks in advance bro

I just got hired onto some "Front-End Developer" position, whatever that is. I hear they fired the last guy because he didn't "mesh well with the other employees". I bet he was a nerd.

>>26
You'll be developing the UI for y ourproject.

>>7
We've been through this, fagshit. Rumia is not Remilia. If you can't get it right, go suck a dick and die.

>>28
may be rumia has a secret mansion. cirno has a home after all. or had