Hey guys, I'm new to /prog/, but I can already tell that you have a great community here. I'm a professional troll who frequents Reddit, 9gag, /b/, and /g/. I've decided that I want to become a 1337 h@xx0r and learn to code, so I've come to practice my art on /prog/ and learn something in the process. ;-)
As you all know, it takes awhile to become accustomed to a particular board, and learn what memes incite the largest amount of rage. Since I'm new to programming, I'm wondering if you /prog/lodytes could teach me the ropes and get me started with my very own troll posts as soon as possible. I look forward to trolling you basement-dwelling losers for years to come!
OP here. Thanks guys, you're giving me some great ideas already! One thing though, why do people keep mentioning 'D' and 'C' and 'C++'? From what I've gathered so far, D is the best language for a beginner to learn? I've seen some posts about Haskell, but those just seem to be troll posts that nobody takes seriously (correct me if I'm wrong; this is what I've gleaned from some of the posts on this board so far).
Also, what are K&R and SICP? I posted on Reddit about them and nobody could tell me what they were. Is this some sort of programming in-joke?
>>7
To attain mastery, one must attune oneself to the subtle effluvia of a delicate matter which we call ``dubz'' . Only by elucidating its poetic resonance with the mysteries of Lambda does one reach Satori.
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Anonymous2012-03-08 16:13
>>7
Haskell is a toy troll language. Writing recursive Fibonacci and factorials are the only things you can do in Haskell. eMacs Lisp and Objective-C are the best, because those are what RMS (RMS M. Sussman, creator of the eMac) uses. K&R (kaynar) and SICP (sick pee) are in-jokes on /prog/, parodying classic programming books like Why's (Poignant) Guide to Ruby and JavaScript: The Good Parts. - Sent from my MacBook Air
>>22
I'll install UuUu U Uuu uu!!!!?!! U uUuu UUuUu UuUUu!????!! tomot
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Anonymous2012-03-09 2:42
lisp is fucking shit, and everything else is worse.
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Anonymous2012-03-09 8:50
Alright, I think I'm going to start out slow. A friend of mine writes programs in HTML, so I think I'm going to get him to teach me that first. After that I'll probably move up to Visual Basic (my school offers a free copy of Visual Studio), and make sure to stay the fuck away from Haskell/Lisp.
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Anonymous2012-03-09 9:24
>>25
That's a great idea. Make sure you employ open-web standards like PHP. It's similar to a tool called Javascript, that you should study as >>9 said. You'll learn many good structured habits from PHP, like making sure you terminate all your lines with semicolons and grouping blocks visually with braces.
Make sure that your Visual Basic is the 6 edition. It's great because it's a RAD language, but it got over complicated with compiler stuff in the newer versions.
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Anonymous2012-03-09 9:40
>>26
OP here. I really can't tell if you're trolling or being serious. I looked up VB6, and it's like 15 years old... I'll probably be learning Visual Basic 2008, as that's what my school offers.
As for PHP and Javascript... I asked my friend about them, he said they weren't good languages to learn. I think I'll stick with trying to figure out HTML for now, maybe write a small game or something, then move on to Visual Basic.
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Anonymous2012-03-09 9:52
>>27
They're some of the best languages to learn and it's what some of the biggest websites use. After all, Facebook and Wikipedia wouldn't be written in them for nothing.
As for Visual Basic, I wouldn't use .NET (what current versions of Visual Basic is called), as it's for Internet stuff, and you want to use it for real desktop apps. For the web, you'll want to use the standard PHP and Javascript like I said.
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Anonymous2012-03-09 9:55
>>28
Alright, Javascript and PHP are out, then. I'm off to start learning HTML!