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Official /prog/ limerick competition

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-16 18:12

I'll start.

There was a young codan from /prog/
Who got offered a programming job
 He said "What is this?
 You want Java, not LISP?"
And stormed home to write fibs with his dog.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-18 6:02

>>28
When I Hax my Magnum Anus, I'm quoting those on the cheeks

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-18 7:38

>>29
Well played, >>29-kun. Well played indeed.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-18 10:23

>>30
lol thx

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-18 10:51

Simon Peyton-Jones was bored one day
So he searched for porn most gay
 And for every shlick he had
 He became a sight most rad
For his pussy smelt of tuna that day.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-18 11:24

>>33
I jizzed a little in my mouth.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 8:25

BUMPU PANTSU

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 9:17

>>33
Joe Armstrong in a train
Concurrently whistles away
 And as his train crashes
 He simply spawns a new instance
For he was feeling N that day.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 10:50

There once was a man from a land known as /prog/,
Whose brain was covered in a metaphorical fog.
Though dull was his head,
He bumped many threads,
Then stopped to cry for his dog.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 11:12

A college kid took Intro to C
He thought, "Man this is easy,
  I'll go on to /prog/
  And tell them I'm God,
Only to get told, 'read SICP.'

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 11:32

So who won the competition?

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 11:59

There once was an 8 bit processor
Then there was a 16 bit processor
  After that the processor was 32 bits
  Now processors are 64 bits
Soon there will be a 128 bit processor

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 12:15

I come to /prog/ every day
To make jokes about being gay
   What's LISP or HASKELL, I don't know
   Java is shit and Ruby is slow
Won't you please let me hax your anus

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 12:16

>>1-42
Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 12:27

>>42
Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 12:40

Tackling character slaloms,
writing string-parsing programs:
  "I know!" he said.
  "Just use perl instead!"
And then he had two problems.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 12:42

>>43
Your post is a subset of >>42.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 13:07

I fired up /prog/ one day
And thought, "how is this prog-related?"
As it turned out
It wasn't at all
For the sagefag sagebombed the board.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 13:47

There once was a coder named Noam
Who wanted to use Guile with GNOME,
   "You can't write that!" They said
   So he's writing instead
The Forced Indentation of Poems.

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-23 13:49

A problem on /prague/ one day
Was solved in a really neat way
The code nice and neat
And was NP-Complete
IT WAS THE FIBONACCI BUTT SORT

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 22:41

>>45
Yes

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:09

I once wrote a cute Python script
That printed out regularly-formatted dicks
I put it on /prog
The thread went along
And then I'd hax'd an anux.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:13

there once was a man on a boat
    who dream of indenting his code
        he woke with a fright in the middle of the night
            to find c FUCKING HIM UP FOR SUCH A STUPID IDEA

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:27

>>43 made me laugh. >>42 was a bit too obvious, but I'm glad it's there.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:38

>>15

Ruby is just lisp minus the cool stuff

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:48

There once was a coder named Lee
who loved to read his SICP.
He said ``Scheme is great,
it's the best, no debate''
but really HE MENA HASKAL.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:53

There once was a CS student from Hull,
Who frankly was a little bit dull,
Barely following his lectures,
Nor programming conjecture,
And doomed to a career of NULL, NULL, NULL.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 2:05

Your heart is now beating manually,
Your penis is now beating manually...
The rest left as an exercise for the reader.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 5:45

I once met my idol, /prog/-famous
His presence, it unleashed my gayness
His thick cock on my brain
I blushed, moaned, and exclaimed
"Oh please, Xarn... PLEASE HAX MY ANUS!"

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 6:50

A programmer form Belgium loved his sweetheart dearly
She lived 'cross the ocean, he visited her yearly
That was hardly enough
He wanted the real stuff
Teledildonics

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 10:52

I AM AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
IVE READ SICP
I INVENTED ALL /PROG/ MEMES
<3 SWEETMAN

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 15:40

IsLimerick(>>1-59) = false

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 15:46

>>60
YOU MEANA "== FALSE"

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 18:46

>>61

No, he's not testing it
He's . . . assigning it. Somehow.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-23 9:14

On /prog/, there's a guy who grabs
peoples' dicks with his many flabs
 but he is soon told
 (by one, rather bold)
be off, aka ``polecat kebabs''

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-23 10:11

All I learnt in college was Pascal
Hax my anus? U mena Haskal!
 My best friend FV
 Reads xkcd
And so art imitates life.

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-03 21:20

There was once a man from Hong Kong
Who though limericks were too long
:C

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-13 7:59

>>64
萌えバンプ~

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-13 8:43

There once was an old thread on /prog/
That had died just like Haskal the dog
Some “faggot” appeared
Its ugly head reared
I can't think of anything suitable that rhymes with /prog/.


I remember writing >>64! ( ˃ ヮ˂)

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-13 9:22

this old thread did some lulz gave,
some limericks are surely worth a save,
but as it started to age,
it slipped off the front page,
until >>64-kun said RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-13 9:24

>>68
I MENA >>66

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-13 10:42

A young man was struggling with his work load
And a problem to me he then showed
I took one lookeat his source
And exclaimed with full force
One word THE FORCED INDENTATION OF CODE

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