Official /prog/ limerick competition

I'll start.

There was a young codan from /prog/
Who got offered a programming job
 He said "What is this?
 You want Java, not LISP?"
And stormed home to write fibs with his dog.

There was a young man from Japan
Who thought all our languages did suck;
So he carved a cool be-
Ta language called luby,
That religious young man from Japan.