Programming has built a superiority complex in me.
It's so bad, I find your average Joe as a complete fucktard that is not worth even talking to.
I'm only 21 and it's the age you get the most pussy, parties and all that shit, but I cannot do it because everyone in the party is a moron or the bitch is so fucking dumb I want to punch her.
Also, anger issues, back/wrist pains, a poor vision, headaches, insomnia et cetera.
I have a programming job that allows me to work from home, I get paid well and I live in a motel.
In result, I don't leave my fucking room ever. (order food from outside, job money goes into my bank account etc)
It's been three months that I had to leave my room. I have no parents or close relatives, nor any friends.
Recently I have developed some sort of phobia with light (photophobia?) and I have all my windows shut tight, and the room light always on.
Normal course of action; you're becoming a nerd. You'll write an emacs clone in MIXAL, but you will never get laid, will have only one nerd friend. Don't worry, it's nothing scary, I'm through it. Also, The Sussman approves of it, check some quotes.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 18:23
You know, its possible to reach Satori and get laid, but you'd have to skip out on the friends part.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 18:28
There's certainly something wrong. Take >>3's advice.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 18:29
Programming didn't make OP a faggot. Possibly OP, like many broken people, has turned to programming because it's something you can get lost in without needing to be especially bright.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 18:43
I remember myself, back in the day i was a fool.
I didn't had patience, i never read manuals, i could not appretiate beauty.
While suffering from chronic insomnia, a friend msg's me about a good C book.
And it happends. i start reading that C book @ the nights i could not sleep, i took advantage of my insomnia.
My whole life changed after that.
I read manuals, rfcs, file formats and protocols.
I read about memory, processors, filesystems, bootloaders
I suddenly became a knowledge freak.
Learned lisp and then Haskell (i owe that to /prog/ btw.)
Also, i started learning mathematics and physics.
And to imagine, all that started (and still is) as a hobby!
I started juggling early in the mornings (like 6 am) and generally exercising.
I participate in many open-source projects and i teach programming/mathematics/physics to many people i know in real life OR over the internet
Sure, i still have a shitjob; I still have no girlfriend due to being closed to myself and very anti social, but programming gave value to my life, and gave an end to those endless nights.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 18:47
So while we're on the subject; how many of you are getting professional help? Weekly trips to the psychologist for me.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 18:51
>only 21 and it's the age you get the most pussy, parties and all that shit
Well, asexual person with AS diagonsed and OCD here. I wonder if I'm not actually schizoid though, but haven't met with my psychiatrist to discuss it yet.
Programming and playing games is my pretty much my life. Whenever an oversocial friend of mine drags me to one of his parties I feel like I'm becoming dumber just by being there. I usually just sit down somewhere over a table where people are discussing things, only because I don't want to be noticed as sticking out by being withdrawn in some corner. Then I just stare into the void thinking about math and algorithms. I do follow the conversations in parallel and I can't for the life of me figure out what's so interesting about gossiping and talking about things they did.
It's not until after a large amount of alcohol that I start to talk but that's generally not good news. I remember talking about /prog/ on new year's eve with some girl, jesus christ. She said she was a programmer so that got me interested but a friend, who can read intentions better than my autistic and drunk self told me that she was most likely making things up.
I find most girls unattractive, it comes with the asexuality but I do have a strong sense of romantic attraction. However most girls today are just, for a lack of better word, cum buckets with no self respect and so I will probably remain lonely the rest of my life. What scares me the most is that I really don't care about the outcome. I have no problem with my loneliness and I fear that I might some day just shut myself in forever.
I have a peculiar thing about myself which I have yet to find an explanation for. I am really terrified about recordings of myself in various media. For example I really do not like hearing my own voice and I do not like what I see when I look at pictures of myself. Funny though I have no problems looking at myself in the mirror.
>>13
blah blah ... asexual ... asexual ... asexual ... me so ronery ...
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 23:37
>>1
Enjoy your ass burgers and crowing about the fact that you act like an insufferable twat; now get back to /b/ and make some spectacularly unfunny threads.
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Anonymous2008-01-21 23:46
>>13
Assburger's Syndrome is just a crutch that socially-maladapted, scum-breathing, basement-dwelling, sweaty, neck-bearded, drooling, 450-lb, ham-fisted Cro-Magnons use to get over the pain of realizing they will never leave their parents' house, never date, and never get laid by anything other than that four-foot tall anime pillow or their hand. Claiming your psychiatrist diagnosed you with Assburger's is laughable at best and makes you look like a retard.
Also, you are not asexual. You're just rationalizing the fact that you've never fucked anything but your hand by saying that you don't want to anyway. Sour grapes, but in a painfully humorous and ironic way. Not finding women attractive does not make you asexual, you're just realizing that women don't go for guys who weigh more than the dollar value of most nations' GDPs who sit around and complain about their assburgers and fuck their hands and bitch about how ronery they are and how awesome their anime pillow is.
TL;DR I haven't read SICP and I don't intend to. I'm not even a programmer anymore, why am I here?
I think about it this way. You can either live your life with a lot of highs and a lot of lows, or you can try to do the opposite and have a nice, steady life.
If you aren't socializing and dating women and moreover don't care then I think you are essentially making a decision to move away from "many ups and downs" in the extreme. If you deal with your anger, depression, insominia etc. you'll remove the biggest "lows" in your life currently. Then just a find ways to enjoy your life until you die.
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Anonymous2008-01-22 0:46
>>22
IOW: Put up or shut up with your Ass Burgers. Don't be a fucking crybaby.
I haven't left the house since Boxing Day, where I went "clubbing" with one of my non-nerd friends. I got drunk, danced a bit, got bored and came home. But generally I don't need to leave the house because I live with my parents. Not sure why everyone makes out this is a depressing thing. I like my parents, I like paying low rent for high quality living. I don't get complete privacy, but that doesn't seem to bother me. Oh, wait, I have left the house; I'm taking a ten-week sign language course, every Tuesday. But generally my ass is planted to my seat. I do my own workout every couple days and I shower every day. Apart from not having a job (although I have a few interviews in the next couple weeks), I don't consider myself to be particularly pathetic. But probably pathetic enough that I want to write about my life on a shitty programming board.
Still, us /prog/rammers that don't think our lives suck seem to be the exception. Are we?
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Anonymous2008-01-22 8:05
>>12
Ok, referral link sites are just getting plain ridiculous. Does anyone really fall for the "My girlfriend cheated on me, so I am going to post these professionally taken pictures of a strip on the Interweb" crap?
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Anonymous2008-01-22 8:29
>>28
My life also doesn't suck. I think it'll start to suck if I become old, and the physical and mental crippling that comes with age starts to take effect. But for now, everything's alright.
>>17,26
What? I really enjoy my life. I am simply describing how I feel different. Unlike the OP I wouldn't describe myself as ``fucked up''. And while I do not like social situations I am not acting like a jerk either, probably just perceived as boring.
Also, who linked /prog/ to /b/ again?
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Anonymous2008-01-22 8:49
>>29
I wanted to make one of them, just for the money, with pictures of Katie Fey, but I don't know where to host it.
I still go to school and I don't think that my life sucks sooo bad, but I still somehow sucks.
bitch And you like It refers to the ASCII BACKSPACE BS character cmd.
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Anonymous2009-03-06 6:45
HY GUYS
Im a little bit kooky im sure, and a 28-year old non-technical virgin, and i hate most people, but I actually go out and have friends. I don't have a job though. But I do visit a pyschotherapist once a week.