Well, how to put this? I am bored of being a sperglord and shit, so i was considering engaging in neurotypical activities, like screwing chicks, sports and stuff.
So my question is if i were to be really buff, would i no longer be an autistic retard? Or better said would people no see me as a retard if i were buff and stuff?
I dont really care about losing my virginity and stuff, i just want something to pass the time. You know some chicks i could do sexy stuff with and play sick mindgames with them and of course so i would have something to jerk to(yeah i need 50 mins to ejaculate).
Or just to act like i would be in love with some whore and then fuck her sister in front of a camera in said chicks bed and post it on the internet and leak it to all my ``friends'' i would plan to ``make''.
Well the thing is, i dont have cash for shit. So obviously my options are somewhat limited, add up the fact that i want to quickly dissapear when i fuck up.
The only thing doing ´´outside'' that comes to my mind is jogging, swimming, chilling in the sun in the park and showing off my body. Other than that i have no idea whatsoever. Needless to say i have no friends other than /prog/ and /vip/, so most social activity is also out.
I will do this anyways since my normal activities piss me off. But i would still know what /lounge/ thinks of this and some tips if you would have any.
/vip/ is not a bit too VIP QUALITY to ask and /prog/s solution is to read SICP.
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Anonymous2011-03-29 9:42
A retard is a retard
A buff retard is a frightening retard
Use it to your advantage
Stalk female joggers in the forest
And dramatize them for life
Don't need to be buff to fuck women. I couldn't punch my way out of a paper bag.
You have to offer something else though. You've got to have an angle. I go for the long haired alcoholic guitarist thing, which some women see as "exciting" instead of "almost 30 year old loser". Meh, whatever works.
Learn a lot of jokes too, usually the more offensive the better I find. Also if anyone says you are going too far, just laugh and call them lamers or something - but stay away from racist jokes as they can blow up in your face.
Here's where I steal a lot from http://sickipedia.org
Funnily enough, being a computer geek can help, as long as you are "naughty" with it. Stealing wireless, cracking emails, that kinda shit. Only mention it if they bring it up though, tech knowledge is like kryptonite to some women.
Disclaimer:if you're ugly as fuck none of this will work.
Good luck.
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MisunderstoodJesus2011-03-29 10:50
the word is traumatize...
idiots....
You could resolve your "retardedness" with WORK, Not intellectualization, not weightlifting, not self-indulgence, nor ranting, nor alarming, nor bragging, nor egotizing.
A combination of diet, exercise, meditation, discipline, and social support; But then, you will discover
that the world is full of retards(to the brim,overflowing).
Since your diet, exercise, meditation, discipline would have elevated you, spiritually/physically/intellectually,
above the bulk of the population; a choice remains: to dedicate yourself to helping humanity in some way, or diving back into the dregs of mutual addiction and lonely unrecognized spiritual hunger.
>>5
He wanted advice on how to get women, not advice on how to be a total anus.
Like I said...you need more than just looks. Men go for looks over all, but with women personality can go a long way. As long as you don't look like quasimodo, you have a chance. I've known some pretty ugly people, even fat guys, get women. Of course, it depends on the woman...some of the ones with daddy issues like the pot belly thing. Not many though.
The best thing to do is to be happy in yourself. Yeah, fucking hard I know. But women pick up on that shit. Be confident, and a little arrogant - but make sure you've got a reason to be so.
Also, heavy drinking (unless you're in america I hear) usually is a good ice-breaker.
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Anonymous2011-03-29 12:10
>>6
Oh, he wanted a shallow floozy slut!
Different strategy....
Get a fancy-dressed up car. A pimp mobile!
Furry Dice, glitzy interior, MUST be leather seats,dshboard=+.
Have all the drugs you can get stashed into little secret holes.
Wear a gold Razor or silver horn on a chain.
Put a joint in your shirt pocket, reaking fresh!
Hide your real phone, and use a Pay-as-u-go, so she can get the wrong number. Cuz U dont want a long-term relationship with a slut, right?
From your car, Remove or lock up all information about your address: insurance card vehicle registration, bills, etc.
Prepay for a motel room, where you "plan on" a party till dawn.
Follow the pickup script for shallow women.
"Wow, you have great taste in clothes"
" I know who you know, that friend of a friend..."
...insert sexy jokes here...
" Would you like to go: party, to a party, make a party"
Blah blah Blah...
>>7
You're an idiot. I've was able to get tail for the eleven years I was on social security and broke as fuck, using none of those techniques.
You don't have to fake who you are. Just be the best version of who you are.
And realise that not every woman is going to go for you, however some will.
If you keep flaming out, maybe lower your standards a little.
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Anonymous2011-03-29 13:10
>>8 I've was able to get tail for the eleven years I was on social security and broke as fuck,
Why didn't you get a job?
>>4 You have to offer something else though. You've got to have an angle. I go for the long haired alcoholic guitarist thing, which some women see as "exciting" instead of "almost 30 year old loser". Meh, whatever works. I have nothing to offer. Im just 21, so i guess its not that bad, but i am a total fucking sperglord, a loser. Learn a lot of jokes too, usually the more offensive the better I find. Also if anyone says you are going too far, just laugh and call them lamers or something - but stay away from racist jokes as they can blow up in your face.
I have no, friends, i dont know anyone, i cant go and drink because i have no cash. I cant work because i am an unlikeable, anyoing, smartass that hates everyone and wants to jam them a knife up their asses. Funnily enough, being a computer geek can help, as long as you are "naughty" with it. Stealing wireless, cracking emails, that kinda shit. Only mention it if they bring it up though, tech knowledge is like kryptonite to some women.
Well i was planing on acting like a total idiot, specialy when it comes to tech. >>5
Nice advice dude, but i hate society will all my heart and want to see it crushed, i just need something other to do that hanging in my usual unproductive habits. >>6 Like I said...you need more than just looks. Men go for looks over all, but with women personality can go a long way.
Well, from what i heard chicks digg bulky guys. My personality is your typical autist, i have every know personality disorder and am a sick fuck. As long as you don't look like quasimodo, you have a chance. I've known some pretty ugly people, even fat guys, get women. Of course, it depends on the woman...some of the ones with daddy issues like the pot belly thing. Not many though.
I look pretty good, oddly enough i should look like shit because that would fit my personality. I make your average otaku look like a social person. The best thing to do is to be happy in yourself. Yeah, fucking hard I know. But women pick up on that shit. Be confident, and a little arrogant - but make sure you've got a reason to be so.
Well, thanks for the advice, but that is no help in my situation. >>7
Look dude, i dont have any cash whatsoever and i cant get any. >>8
I appreciate your input.
To sum things: i am a fucking typical autist and by typical i mean stereotype. I have no personalty, i have no money and i have no life. i cant get a job because nobody would hire me and i have no skills at all.
I feel very guilty for posting my personal issues to /lounge/, however this is the place where this thread is not oftopic and the only place i have some trust in.
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!L33tUKZj5I2011-03-29 13:42
Don't worry about not knowing anyone in real life - the last three birds I've banged were completely random adds from facebook. Never met them before in my life.
As for the no job thing...I dunno man. You're young, so that shit doesn't matter as much. Tell them you're an aspiring writer/actor/anything. Knock out a couple of thousand words on anything, and every one you meet show it to them and say you just started writing it, even if it's years old. That's another tactic I've used, and it works.
Getting nearer thirty means i have to look like I'm gonna be earning at some point, but I'm at university now so that takes care of that.
The fact that you aren't totally ugly means this is well within your means. Don't be defeatist about it.
Practise talking to chicks online through facebook to get over your social anxiety - this is good because it gives you time to think up a witty response, and also to find girls who will respond well to who you are. That should make it easier once you meet one IRL.
It may go badly, it may not, but whatever happens, you've got some experience. Ready for the next try if it goes wrong.
Most of that social disorder crap comes from staying in the basement too long. I know man, I've been there, but I got out.
As for excuses for having no friends...I dunno man. You can play it off as being some mysterious loner - that works too. Then adopt her friends, lol. Bottom line, if she likes you and can talk to you, none of that other shit matters.
No go do your sexual predator thing on facebook. Add every female friend of a friend, then every female friend of a friend of those people, and message them. If nothing else, it's practise talking to them.
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!L33tUKZj5I2011-03-29 13:43
Oh, and teh sick fuck thing doesn't matter. My current girlfriend, I started out by threatening to rape her. True story.
>>8 You don't have to fake who you are. Just be the best version of who you are.
And realise that not every woman is going to go for you, however some will.
Also: The best version of me is the one actually bothering to look at a person and even acknowledge the person has been seen and that i in the said moment do not think of how to systematicly eradicate mankind and simultaniously trying to analyze ever single input like a robot. I usually act like a different person when caught in a social situation(there are practicly none).
Im a sick unlikeable fuck. Dont understand me wrong here, i dont want to change, or atleast not in what normal people would precieve as ``positiv'', i just am bored of my life, i cant work on it because i am so sick of it, i just want a break if it that is all, just so i can get my ass up again to work on it because i fucking have enough of this fucking shit.
Also i often times am highly confused and get lost in new situations. I also have trouble with my attention and have trouble focusing on one though and often times lose myself in other, less relevant thoughts, just so you know why i can quickly get lost in a sea of shit and start typing stuff that has no relation whatsoever on a topic.
Actually that's probably terrible advice. Stick to facebook.
I think I can count the number of times I've walked up to a woman and initiated conversation on my genitalia. Lucky for me, in the past I usually met them through friends.
I've been living in a different city for the last two years though, so that has basically been shut off to me. Nothing wrong with scoring them from the internet, all the norms are here now too. Unfortunately.
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Anonymous2011-03-29 14:26
>>16 all the norms are here now too. Unfortunately.
I so hate this fact. I am starting to hate the internet. I tried to think on how to make my own WAN *cough darknet *cough, but i am not enough motivated to do it.
"Oh no, my supa sekrit lounge club is being used to discuss things I don't like. Waah! Waah!"
Get over yourself, faggot.
>>17
I've been wanting to set up a citywide adhoc network. There just aren't enough people with the knowledge to join in though, ar at least not enough people with high enough gain wireless antennas.
Listen, autismo, there is very little whining going on here. VIPPER wanted some advice, and he was being given it. It wasn't simply pointless "nothing will ever change" crap. His OP even stated he was willing to work out to try and attract more female attention. Not what I would have said was the best way to do it, but definitely showing willing.
I didnt see that one coming, i should have.
Well i guess i deserve it.
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Anonymous2011-03-29 15:13
>>31
Striving for monomagous relationships? For you, that just means you won't fuck two at the same time. Since you have only one dick, you'll always be successly monomagous and righteous in your mind.
>>43
Not at all man. That guy's a dick.
The posters on r9k aren't of the same calibre as here. I certainly wouldn't post anything on that gangbang of whining and expect any useful advice.
In fact this is the only board on 4chan I even post on anymore, even /g/ has gone to shit. Endless threads about which hardware should I buy, desktop threads, all that lame tripe.
I feel like this place is my home, and I would have posted here instead. Probably the only thing he's pissed off about is the fact that neither of us are posting as anonymous. What a fag.
>>47
Not true. Last year, I was with the same girl until October, when she dumped me due to not being able to handle the long distance thing (we'd started seeing each other before I moved away to uni). I was fucking heartbroken man, still am. Love that girl to bits. Best couple of years of my life I ever had I spent with her.
Ok, I did bang a couple of other girls after we split, one, I wasn't that into - that doesn't matter because while I was being indifferent she found someone else anyway. I still see her on facebook, and she's really happy. I feel glad for her.
The second, the young girl into coke...I do feel bad about that. The reason I left her was because I was still in love with my ex and just couldn't forget her. She was rather fond of me, and I do feel bad, but I didn't want to lie to her.
The one I'm with now...we'll see how it goes.
I'm not some massive man whore like you make out, just a normal guy trying to have normal relationships. Just because you only get attention from a female once in a fucking solar eclipse doesn't make me a slut.
The one I'm with now, I nearly broke up with her over still being in love with my ex. I decided I can't let that ruin my fucking life any longer though and I am getting over her.
>>45 Not at all man. That guy's a dick.
Its wrong to post about our personal troubles here. I know i should not have done that but this place is my last resort. You end up going through a dozen "girlfriends" per year, so how is that so honourable
Lol, how does ``honourable'' fit in there? >>55
Well i must admit, i would probably be tempted to do the same thing. I only try not to shitpost in an uncreative and cheap manner.
I hoped this thread would spawn some advice and discussion which would also be of use to others.
I don't count it as shitposting at all. Shitposting is stuff like that fucking zoklet thread, the "rude! TSK! Niggers!" stuff, the X of being cummed inside, etc etc.
If it creates actual discourse, I see nothing wrong with it. But noooo some anons like to think they run the place.
This is probably the least moderated anonboard left out there, and it only continues because of the gigantic host it is attached to. I like that.
I suppose because of this, with the flooders...it's a double edged sword.
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Anonymous2011-03-30 0:30
>>57
Double-edged pork sword for your parade of vagina