It wastes your seed.
It robs you of the Holy Ghost.
It controls you.
It causes you to waste money.
It hurts how you view other people.
It causes you to constantly think about sex and other lusts of the flesh.
It is an act of selfish indulgence with no purpose.
It gets you into Hell.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 0:39 ID:BLrFQdY2
Masturbation is great because I can eat my own semen for a midnight snack without having to leave my bedroom.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:18 ID:62aBqs47
It causes you to constantly think about sex and other lusts of the flesh.
not when I'm done lol
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:19 ID:8RyIld3J
JESUS RAPED MARY, GOD LAUGHED.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:25 ID:6cilSHRy
i dont believe in your shit god.
explain to me how an "all forgiving god" can send someone to hell.
If you sin but are really trying to live a good life you'll be forgiven. If you intentionally sin with no remorse and no effort to be a moral person you won't be forgiven. Seems simple enough.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:35 ID:yRQ4K6ST
Defecation is a sin.
It wastes your bacteria.
It robs you of the Holy Ghost.
It controls you.
It causes you to waste money.
It hurts how you view other people.
It causes you to constantly think about pooping and other lusts of the flesh.
It is an act of selfish indulgence with no purpose.
It gets you into Hell.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:36 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>6
So what about "the road to hell is paved with good intentions," huh Mr. Smarty Pants?
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:37 ID:9msgERm5
You need to defecate. You can choose not to masturbate and live a long and healthy life.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:41 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>9
That is a flagrant, blatant lie. You need more willpower, son.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:43 ID:6cilSHRy
i dont care what the road to hell is paved with, I DONT BELIEVE IN IT. I could really care less if you are a christian, or believe in god or whatever, if it makes you happy, im happy that you have something, but please dont come to our website, and tell us the things we do and talk about is going to send us to hell. I would never tell you to not be christian if its what you believe and it makes you happy, and all i ask is that you give us the same respect.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:44 ID:62aBqs47
if we had masturbators rights in this country, this bullshit wouldn't even be discussed.
There's a rally coming up in Jena, I'll be there with my dick out.
Hi this is Hal Turner. I'd appreciate if you people didn't come to my website and force your beliefs on me.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:46 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>11
>I could really care less
Fall in a well and die. Is this really so god damned hard to understand?? What the fuck is WRONG with you people?! The phrase is couldn't care less. "Could care less" makes absolutely no sense. Why the hell does everyone keep saying it? Stop and think for just three tenths of a second and you'll realize that the phrase "could care less" says nothing whatsoever.
Why can't people stop to think about what they're saying before they open their mouths? When did language devolve into nonsensical pidgin gibberish? It's one thing to coin a new phrase or use slang, but an entirely other thing to say the exact opposite of what you mean just because you can't be fucked to include the "n't" in a phrase. Fuck each and every last one of you morons.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:54 ID:9msgERm5
4chan raids all kinds of Christian websites and when they get reminded of their own sinful ways they complain like bitches.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:55 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>1
Masturbation is fun, and your invisible sky man should go to hell along with me for watching me-- and everyone else in the world-- do it!
Tell yourself that "everyone is doing it" to help justify it and make yourself feel better. Why change it because it's immoral? Hmmmm let me think, because it's immoral, that's why.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:57 ID:62aBqs47
It freshens your seed.
It rubs you off the Oily Moist.
It relieves you.
It causes you to save money.
It helps you view other people, as you hide in the bushes.
It causes you to stop thinking about sex and other lusts of the flesh, when you get done.
It is an act of harmless enjoyment with no porpoise.
It gets you into the sperm bank.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:58 ID:9msgERm5
Masturbation is one of the worse sins.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 1:59 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>23
I don't care about "collegiate English." I don't care about keeping the language "pure." I do care that seemingly everyone can contradict themselves without a second thought-- it just doesn't make any SENSE. Why are you even opening your mouth to communicate if you're not willing to articulate a coherent thought?
>>20
I do not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not understand what you're saying. At any rate, get ass-raped by a grizzly bear.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:01 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>27
Spoilers: sins that don't involve hurting/stealing from anyone are only "sins" because it makes you emotionally crippled and dependent on the religion, not because they promote your (or even society's) wellbeing.
>>28
Liar. Language purist. Die from choking on dickmeat.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:01 ID:9msgERm5
Let's stick with the issue. Masturbation is an act that glorifies Satan but many people who enjoy the "pleasure" it appears to offer have chosen pleasure over morality and do not accept it as the evil it really is.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:02 ID:62aBqs47
>>27
no it isn't, not even bad unless you do it into someone's drink or something
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:03 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>32
It's only "evil" because the man with the book told you it was. Enjoy your crippling meme infection.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:03 ID:9msgERm5
How can someone seriously expect to go to Heaven if the world ended a minute after he masturbated?
Always remember that Christian priests are fully protected by their superiors when they molest children.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:10 ID:yRQ4K6ST
>>39
I can't even begin to tell you how many things are wrong with those two statements...
"Right" over "wrong"? Where the hell do you even get those concepts? If you have to "try" to choose the one over the other, rather than having it coming naturally, I'm guessing someone else dictated those definitions unto you. Then they told you that you're inherently 'wrong,' and that's why you have to struggle just to swallow their notion of 'right.' What a steaming pile... Why would anyone listen to such a person?
>>43
Whatever satisfies me, yes. I don't need any commandments or sins to tell me harming others is wrong, because it just plain doesn't sit well with me. That's deterrent aplenty; I don't need to be shamed. I see no problem with masturbation, except the one written in the Bible, so why I should I believe it? All religion does is shame, and that's a betrayal of oneself. I trust my own intellect and competency to know what serves me and what doesn't. I don't need anyone's arbitrary definitions to constrain me.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 2:27 ID:62aBqs47
It wastes your seed. -- incorrect, my balls make more, and fresher seeds at little cost.
It robs you of the Holy Ghost. -- this statement is unsubstantiated in scripture or in objective reality.
It controls you. -- incorrect, I am in full control, I am the pilot of my own cock.
It causes you to waste money. -- if you do it without visual aid, it is free.
It hurts how you view other people. -- what other people, I'm by myself at the time.
It causes you to constantly think about sex and other lusts of the flesh. -- no, the boner goes away and the last thing I want to think about is sex when I am done.
It is an act of selfish indulgence with no purpose. -- selfish? Because I do it myself? That's a little silly to think that way. Purpose? Relief, relaxation, recreation.
It gets you into Hell. -- that statement is unsubstantiated by scripture or by objective reality.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 3:27 ID:JV/PqbFw
>>26
It freshens your seed.
It rubs you off the Oily Moist.
It relieves you.
It causes you to save money.
It helps you view other people, as you hide in the bushes.
It causes you to stop thinking about sex and other lusts of the flesh, when you get done.
It is an act of harmless enjoyment with no porpoise.
It gets you into the sperm bank.
Apparently Christianity is more annoyed by masturbation than child molestation. Apparently the only hand allowed on your dick is a tiny one.
AND CHRISTIANS HAVE THE GALL TO WONDER WHY THEY'RE HATED.
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Anonymous2007-09-22 6:05 ID:ucpbnVhG
i finished masturbating directly before reading this post. i am now regretting it horribly, thanks to your brilliant, amazing argument against it. now that i am aware that i am going to hell, since i didn't know before reading this, i'm going to live it up. in fact, i'll masturbate again now. to child porn. four times. then i'll kill some babies. they deserve it.
You might as well. There's no "God", so who the fuck is really going to punish you?
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Anonymous2007-09-22 6:25 ID:ucpbnVhG
obviously there is. look how convincing OP's statements are. he must be backed by a higher being to make such claims. it's just that now i know that i'm going to hell. it's pretty liberating.