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Dead baby jokes

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 1:29 ID:rNGAgVmp

post some dead baby jokes (the best kind)

q: what's the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby
A: I don't fuck a sandwhich before I eat it


q: what does a dead baby sound like in a  blender
a: I dunno i was too busy masturbating

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 1:33 ID:yoPbO77w

Whats Worse than 10 dead babies in a tree, 1 dead baby strung across 10 trees.

Whats the difference between broccoli and a dead baby, I dont eat the top of broccoli.

Those are my 2 favorite. Oh and

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table, you cant fuck a table.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 1:43 ID:E/VsnFDO

How do you get a baby into a Tupperware™?

Blender. How do you get it back out?

Tortilla chips.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 1:44 ID:juo10T3+

>>3
AWESOME

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 1:46 ID:xpxtYUO+

>>4
neo-Wittgensteinian.

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 1:47 ID:ZUvybxX3

Dead Baby and Peach Stir Fry Recipe

1 lb. dead baby tenderloin, cut into cubes
1 T. vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 each green and red bell pepper, cut into cubes
1 (19 oz.) can peach slices packed in own juice
1/4 C. rice vinegar
2 T. soy sauce
2 T. cornstarch

Sauté dead baby in hot oil in a large skillet until browned on all sides. Add onion, garlic and peppers; cook and stir until onion is softened.

Drain peach slices, reserving juice. Add cornstarch in peach juice; stir until completely smooth. Stir in rice vinegar and soy sauce. Add to dead baby mixture in skillet. Cook and stir until mixture comes to a boil and is thickened. Add peach slices to skillet; cook and stir until peaches are heated through.

Serve with freshly cooked rice.

Serves 4.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 1:59 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's worse than a dead baby trapped inside its mother's uterus?
It's blocking the way for its unborn live twin.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:06 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's worse than a pile of dead babys?
A live one at the bottom.
What's worse than that?
It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that?
I sold tickets to see it.
What's worse than that?
It was filmed.
What's worse than that?
It has been distributed and posted on the internet.'
What's worse than that?
Thousands of sadistic fucks have jerked off to it.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:13 ID:2LiXK8zW

There was a woman who just gave birth and asked, "Doctor, is he all right?" The doctor replied, "Yes, except..." The doctor began bashing the infant against objects, throwing it across the room, and stabbing/cutting it with surgical tools. Then he smashed the window out with it and threw it out the window onto the highway where it was pummeled by six different vehicles. Naturally the woman yelled, "What the fuck is your fucking problem, you fucking bastard?!!" So the doctor exclaimed, "Jokes on you bitch, it was a still born!"

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 2:15 ID:ZUvybxX3

>>9
Credit where it's due:  EPIC WIN!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:16 ID:Heaven

>>10
fail.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:17 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's worse than a dead baby?
A live baby.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:28 ID:wjRYDTJV

No way does this fail.
OP is winnar.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:30 ID:juo10T3+

>>12
heh heh heh

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:45 ID:cJX+yplm

>>10
lol nice joke.  'RedCream' and 'win' in the same post - hehehe good one

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 2:52 ID:ZUvybxX3

>>15
Only if you define a "post" as including the header information.  Considering message delivery, that's not the common definition.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:53 ID:Heaven

>>16
lol. u lose. GTFO

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:56 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's the difference between a dead baby and zucchini?
I don't keep zucchini in my fridge.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 2:56 ID:rNGAgVmp

I got some more

Q: what's easier to move, a ton of bricks or a ton of dead babies
A: dead babies because you can use a pitchfork

Q: what's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
A: I don't have a ferrari in my garage

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:00 ID:Heaven

whats the difference between redcream and dead baby jokes?
dead baby jokes are made of both oooooold and fail while redcream is made of only fail

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:02 ID:2LiXK8zW

<<20
Fuck you, dead baby jokes kick ass

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:02 ID:Heaven

>>21
underage b&

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:05 ID:cJX+yplm

What is the difference between RedCream and a typical namefag?

A typical namefag is still smart enough to accept failure, and eventually either becomes Anonymous or he GTFO

Name: jesus fucking christ 2007-09-09 3:05 ID:z48mocjT

i think its time for the happy dance

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:05 ID:wjRYDTJV

Everyone hates ID:Heaven.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:06 ID:rNGAgVmp

what's the difference between the person that made post >>20 and dead baby jokes?

Dead baby jokes are funny

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 3:06 ID:xpxtYUO+

>>23
Whats the difference between you and a typical faggot?
None.

Name: Jesus Tapdancing Christ 2007-09-09 3:06 ID:Heaven

>>25
NO U

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:07 ID:xpxtYUO+

>>26
ur a fag. gtfo fag.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:08 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>29

go suck a dick faggot

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:09 ID:cJX+yplm

>>27
Whats the difference between me and RedCream?

I'm not made of total fail and not everyone on 4chan (and probably the rest of the net) hates me and thinks I'm gay

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:09 ID:xpxtYUO+

>>30
lol. ur so original. how do u cum up with those insults?

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:10 ID:cJX+yplm

>>27
>>29
Saem fag!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:10 ID:wjRYDTJV

What's the difference between RedCream and a cool person?
Everything.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:11 ID:cJX+yplm

>>32
I guess hes using your material then

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:11 ID:2LiXK8zW

Is there anymore actual jokes?

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:12 ID:Heaven

>>35
gtfo then faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:12 ID:wjRYDTJV

What's the difference between a hot girl and a dead baby?
I've never fucked a hot girl.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:13 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>36
I don't think so :/

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:14 ID:xpxtYUO+

>>38
gtfo then faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:14 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>39
Damn

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 3:14 ID:ZUvybxX3

>>36
I hope so.  Dead Baby jokes were never my forte.  Let's hear some MOAR!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:16 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>40

gtfo then faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:18 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's the difference between dead babies and the fuckheads on 4chan?
Dead babies make me laugh.

Name: m a tapdancing hamster 2007-09-09 3:19 ID:z48mocjT

YES LET'S CONTINUE TO MAKE MY EARS BLEED WITH THE HIDEOUS  NOISE OF REPETITIVE CAT SPANKING

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:21 ID:rNGAgVmp

How do you make a dead baby float?
take your foot off it's head.

what's funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown costume

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:22 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>45
HUH HUH HUH... CAPS LOCK...

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:22 ID:cJX+yplm

>>40
hi homo

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:23 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>46
Fuck yeah!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:25 ID:2LiXK8zW

Why the fuck didn't I post this one earlier...
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Name: yummeh 2007-09-09 3:26 ID:z48mocjT

i wantsta eats that babeh

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:30 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's the difference between dead babies and rotted dead babies?
The rotted ones get fed to the live ones.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:33 ID:2LiXK8zW

What do oranges and dead babies have in common?
They both taste better when they're peeled.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:34 ID:rNGAgVmp

I had to stay after class at school once for telling some dead baby jokes to the teacher.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:36 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>54
How did that go?

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:37 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>55
not too bad the whole class laughed and I just had to stack some chairs

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 3:37 ID:ZUvybxX3

>>54
Did the teacher then molest you after school since s/he found your Dead Baby jokes far too hot to withstand?

Name: babies 2007-09-09 3:39 ID:z48mocjT

why did the baby not talk?
cause it was dead

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
EPIC FAIL!!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:40 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>57

Were you there....

>.>

<.<

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:40 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>56
What was the joke?

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:46 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>60

i'm not 100% sure but i did 2 and i think they were

why did the dead baby cross the road?
because it was stapled to the chicken

whats easier to move a ton of bricks or a ton of dead babys
dead babies because you can use a pitchfork

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:50 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>61
Just to piss off your teacher you should've kept telling more after you got in trouble.

Name: RedCream 2007-09-09 3:51 ID:ZUvybxX3

Playing this video in class would have pissed off the teacher a lot more than telling Dead Baby jokes:

http://cgi.4chan.org/s/src/1189323507365.jpg

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:52 ID:rNGAgVmp

He didn't exactly tell me to stop but after the first one I asked for one more and he didn't really answer so I took that as a yes and told another one.

Then he told me I can stay after class and clean up the classroom and stack chairs :(

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 3:55 ID:2LiXK8zW

Why does God let babies die?
Contrary to popular belief, God eats too.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 4:00 ID:rNGAgVmp

>>65

EPIC WIN!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 4:01 ID:2LiXK8zW

>>66
Thanks

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 4:06 ID:2LiXK8zW

What's the difference between dead babies and Arby's?
I fucking hate eating Arby's.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 4:16 ID:rNGAgVmp

what does up and down in a babies crib
my ass

What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it

What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
An erection.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 14:46 ID:rNGAgVmp

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 14:54 ID:ooqCNgqu

WE HAVE A WINNER :D

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 19:16 ID:iyARkoD/

Keep this going, I enjoy it.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-09 19:28 ID:L85Cfk+V

How do you paint a garage red?


Depends on how fast you throw the babies.








What goes "mama mama mama POP"

Baby in a microwave

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-10 1:06 ID:RKxyRldu

How do you know if your baby is dead?
If it doesn't scream when your harvesting it, then it's dead.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-10 1:09 ID:RKxyRldu

How do you punish a baby for shitting too much?
Flush it down the toilet.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-10 1:11 ID:RKxyRldu

What does Jesus have in common with dead babies?
They are both served in small amounts.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-10 1:54 ID:sDn8gCp0

What's red and sits in the corner?

A dead baby with a shuriken lodged in its face.

What's green and sits in the corner?

The same baby eight months later.

Name: anonymous 2011-05-31 17:18

http://www.facebook.com/I.Love.Briana.Leach/posts/1590053451577#!/pages/Life-As-We-Knew-It/109940742427550

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-31 17:59

I got to use ``autismified'' today.

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-31 18:40

what's purple and yellow and covered in pus?

a peeled baby in a bag of salt

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-31 18:50

what's the difference between a dead baby and a sausage?

I don't eat my sausages with ketchup

Name: Anonymous 2011-06-15 1:03

Whats the difference between me and a babe ?

I just had sex with a hunnit of em and was born at the same time.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-23 22:29

hi

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-23 22:58

>>83
Good bump.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-24 15:07

http://www.parentguidenews.com/Articles/DeadlyAccidents
Don't change these.
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