Caught Masturbating?

How many times have your parents caught you masturbating? My mother has walked in on me twice... :(

hay i nevar got caught. coz im teh master!!!11

My mom walked in today and I wanted to kill her thankyou.

MY dad walked in maybe 10 years ago and I afterwards I sang out loud to kill the embarrassment. Irattional it is.

never. my saw some s/c porn pics and sexed up comic book chick drawings in my room at age 13 or so, but since then nothing and now figures I am some kind of homosexual or defective who will fail to provide grandchildren and must be destroyed. Little does the bitch now i will kill her first.

>>5

oh that made no sense. I mean I don't wank off in public places in my house unless everyone is asleep or at least on a different floor.

If you get caught wanking, you've screwed up somewhere. If you're gonna spank your monkey, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU CAN'T GET CAUGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

>>7
Where's the excitement in that?

>>8
Wrong kind of excitement.

One time I was jacking off and my sister walked in to my room... Yadda yadda yadda, I have a son.

>>10
And that's related to your sister walking i-- OH DEAR GOD NO.

did you screw ur sister too?

>>12
I'm an only child, thank you very much.

From the INTERNET:

"there is all this dried jizz around my computer on the floor, chair and drawer near it and my family uses this computer and i am too lazy to clean up the jizz. I try to mop up most w/ a paper towel when I bust, but sometimes I miss some"

>>14
LOL UR GONNA GET UR LITTLE SISTER PREGNANT AND ALL SHE WANTED TO DO WAS TYPE UP HER BOOK REPORT

>>15
HURR HURR CAPS LOCK

(Yes, I am aware of the irony of this post.)

>>16

Are you aware of the irony that by stating your awareness of the irony of your post, you have made it no longer ironic?

>>17
What have I told you about invoking The Color Out Of Space?

>>10

hsr

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my sister walked in on me once and in the shock i came all over my chest

>> my sister walked in on me once and in unexpected pleasure i came all over my chest

fixed

>>21
rofolol what was her comment after that display

>>23
She licked it up, of course!

lol no i managed to cum under the t-shirt i was wearing so she actually didn't see anything.

Surpisingly enough they havn't caught me masterbating.
I've came in my eye before though... That stung. XD

My mother caught me playing around with homemade dildos... and I'm male.

>>27

... What did she say? XD

yeah seriously finish your stories people >:(

>>28
One day a couple of years ago I could go home from school early (around noon) because of some cancelled class. So I got home, pulled out some lubricant, homemade dildos, a porno and some plastic to put on the floor (so It didn't get stains or whatever). Just when I had started doing my stuff my mom came home! She had apparently decided to come home and do some things during her lunch hours. I was so startled that i ran to the front door (i was naked) holding the piece of black garbage bag to cover myself. She said "hello, have you just gotten out of bed?", "uh, yes" I replied. She was acting like nothing had happened (in the living room where i was doing the stuff, the porno was still playing i think). I Panicked and in an attempt to hide my 'equipment' just shoved it all under the sofa, turned the VCR off and took my clothes on again all while shaking like shit out of nervousness (this was done while she was unloading the groceries in the kitchen, the kitchen was directly connected to the living room). Then I went to my room and stayed there until she left for work again. After she left I cleaned up whatever i shoved under the sofa and took my porno back.

A couple of days later she said "You forgot the tape you where watching in the VCR...". "No, I took it, the one in the VCR is some other videotape." I replied. That's all we have talked about this incident and I sure hope she'll never mention it again. O_o

>>31

this is so true. women incl. mothers must accept the fact that MALES LIKE TO JERKSIT ALOT. and not pretend it doesn't happen.

>>31
wtf, quoting yourself?! Thats like an neverending loop, man!

Mind me asking how to made your own dildos? >>;;

>>33
Oh, you know, various containters, bottles and stuff

>>30

Wow, another [male] person who has a homemade dildo. My method is making a basic shape with various plastic stuff (as a frame) and then wrapping it with duct tape until it gets to the right shape. I use balloons to cover it each time I use it (which I throw away) to keep it clean and a bit more comfortable. It's ghetto as hell, but hey, it works well enough.

P.S. - Was it gay porn that she walked in on you watching?

>>35
No, it wasn't. I'm heterosexual.

>>36

Just wondering, seeing as that would have made that situation all the more... revealing.

Once, it was my grandoa, and I was watching Girls Gone Wild.

I got caught just the once. Few nights ago. I have no damn lock and I busted up the hinges on my door, which gets annoying when it's windy out, thing falls over all the time.
Anyways I was sat there doing my stuff (computer is mine, and in my room), mother was just going to bed, sticks her head in the door to say goodnight, DOESN'T WALK AWAY. She just fucking stood there while I shreiked and desperately hid myself while screaming at her to "GET THE FUCK OUT".

Some people need to learn to knock. And WALK AWAY when they see something like that.

>> 27/30
On that topic, I tend to just sometimes use anything lying to hand. Drumsticks, pens, even action figures' limbs o_<
And fingers of course :D

>>39
Um, are you using those drumsticks, pens, action figures' limbs afterwards?