Shakespeare.

No mater how much I try, I can not read this fucker. If not for his fame and many good writers who loved his stuff, I would've long stopped even bothering and labeled him as an awful hack.

The fuck, seriously, I can't read through his mess. Why the fuck so many words? That's horrible. How am I supposed to read through this? Fuck, I don't know anything.

There must be annotated versions of his stuff, full of footnotes and sidebars that translate and elaborate.  Try searching amazon.

just like

>>1
You just have a low reading level.

>>1
You just aren't very smart.

Still, it's like basic training for literature 'cause he's the exact opposite of a hack; he originated much of the stuff that hacks use.  He's the foundation, and once you understand Shakespeare, you have a foundation as a literary scholar.  Nobody said it was easy.

>>5
asshole

>>4
>>5
>>6
But fucker's supposed to entertain me, not give me work. He's an artist, not an employer; yet every time I'm trying to read him, it's like going against a storm. So, is it just me, or that's exactly what Shakespeare's like for everyone, except they pretend to like it exactly like that?

>>8
>>5 here, please optimize your quoting. And I have no idea why you quoted me like you were responding to me. If you were bright enough to follow it, you'd me more entertained and it would feel less like work.

Also these are plays and plays are generally a little weird to read. Go see it as intended.

>>9
What the hell? You aren't >>5. I'm >>5. Stop pretending to be me, asshole.

Also, Aristotle felt that all of the pleasure that can be got from viewing a play should also be got from simply reading it, and I'm inclined to agree and I feel it applies to Shakespeare quite well (whether he would have liked that or not). I'm not discouraging seeing it, of course, but if you don't have the money to see a particularly good performance then don't force yourself to.

Are you kidding me?  Shakespeare was to modern English literature as Newton was to modern science, or Bach to music.  You are probably not used to the formalities of the time period, and the subject matter.  Don't be so naive.

>>10
Your lying invalidates your whole post.

>>12
Lying wouldn't necessarily invalidate anything, but I wasn't lying. Quit trying to troll me, man.

>>13
What the hell? You aren't >>10. I'm >>10. Stop pretending to be me, asshole.

Also, I'm sorry for lying before.

What have you even tried reading? I mean hamlet was one of my favorite books that I had to read in high school. I also liked Taming the Shrew (because it was a comedy) and Romeo and Juliet wasn't bad either.

Hm. If you're not having much luck with the texts, perhaps try and rent out (/pirate) a copy of the 2004 film version of The Merchant of Venice. It's really pretty good, and you might find things a bit easier to follow when it's being professionally acted in front of you.

Woah, too many words? Never read an Ayn Rand novel, huh?

Ayn Rand reads like a wet newspaper, maybe OP meant complexity of language.

>>15
I tried reading Hamlet, which was moderately okay and at times quite decent. Then I tried Midsummer Night's Dream, and it was pretty damn horrendous. Then I tried Merchant of Venice, and couln't get very far into the mess because every character recited a poem whenever a single short sentence would've sufficed.

>>11
>or Bach to music
Don't drag Bach into this. His best pieces are easy to understand for anyone, while his worst, particularly those really heavy in technical polyphony, are as factually dull, overcomplicated and outright unlistenable as, by the way, Shakespeare in general looks to me at the moment. And, while the man still being the best of the best, 90% of Bach's works were actually no more than simply mediocre. If Shakespeare's like that, direct me to his best stuff, then. Hamlet won't do, Hamlet's the H-moll mass; give me the Matthaus Passion of Shakespeare, faggotm then we'll talk.

>>17
>Never read an Ayn Rand novel, huh?

OP here again.
Why in the shit would I?

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>>21

OP here.
Well, damn.

Try reading Henry IV, you will love Falstaff in it.

>>23
Getting to it, thanks.

>>1

Shakespeare is about trolling censors without getting executed, making dick and fart jokes that sound like normal conversation at first, and criticizing people by pointing out how annoying and stupid they are.

Enjoy.

dont worry op. half of the people on this board are hipster /r9k/ faggots who want to look smart because they read othello or henry v to look smart. not all "good" writers have read shakespeare anyway, and he is by far no milestone to becoming "smart". people who tell you otherwise are retards.

Does anyone have any advice or recommendations for someone new to Shakespeare?

Get a complete works version so you have footnotes, even though it sucks to have the jokes explained.  Also recognize when he's just trolling, like Romeo & Juliet.