Every so often I ask a question, here are the answers thus far, the universe was created so that by apparent freak chance an electromagnetic field occurs and mongles the 4chan server causing this message to appear. The questioneers were important in the larger scale of things, but were not in any real positions of power. The same applies to you. I will answer only one question.
You have free will and the universe is governed by set scientific laws.
I am not human in form, by form I meant sentient.
Give everything a second thought, not thoughts of faith, but of what I'm thinking as I look down apon you.
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Anonymous2005-10-28 15:42
are you going to eat that last slice of pizza cause if not I'll have it.
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God.2005-10-28 18:35
No. There is now no pizza and by logical definition I must not.
No more questions, this instance will occur somewhere else in space time and randomly. You will never speak to me again until death.
Good night folks!
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icm2005-10-28 20:58
*comes running in, inspecting the area for tracks and clues before hurrying onward* i'm gonna find you dude! i'm so gonna find you!!!
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Anonymous2005-10-28 21:00
when will God 2 come out?
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Anonymous2005-10-29 5:21
Right after Big-O III.
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Anonymous2005-10-29 7:48
*asks God a question*
"Why?"
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Anonymous2005-10-29 13:42
I think the Bible is widely misinterpreted. Really God is an individual's base desires, and faith is the faith in yourself, to succeed under extreme circumstances or things you believe impossible.
Are you an English major? English majors are the only people I've ever met who are able to so wildly interpret things to mean what they want them to mean instead of what they plainly state.
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Anonymous2005-10-30 0:52
>>8
"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
Obviously, Jesus is saying here that he's a homosexual.
>>1
So, god, what kind of porn do you like best? You made Asians for that, huh, lil' bastard? ;) Your secret is safe with me, I'm an avid follower of Asian porn.
Nah. And if even if He did, He could just will it into existence. He's God, y'know?
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Anonymous2005-11-02 20:24
Do God like the video games?
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Anonymous2005-11-02 20:39
Dear Almighty Osaka, God.
I love the bible, but this one thing have always been on my mind.
How do you manage to watch all the suffering in the world?
Because you got to know there is suffering. Because you are, after all, God.
Is it that you see all the evil things in the world, but can't act?
But then again.. you wouldn't be almighty if you couldn't do something about it, isn't that true?
The strength of the human soul that I gave you cannot blaze brightly in the world if there is no darkness. The strength of your spirit and covictions in spite of all tribulations glorify us all, as you were made in My image. Take comfort, for all things great and small are part of My plan.
And rest easy, for while your trials are finite, your reward is everlasting.
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Justin Timberlake2005-11-03 2:08
Dear God
The world is sooo big.
Whay am I so small?
"Thats not what Christianity is about, you do the the right thing out of love for God and your love of fellow man. To put it in 4chan terms, you should do the right thing because you are a gay for God."
dear god, you tell us not to believe in any other gods than you, are you implying that there are any other ones? do we get to pick? which one is best?
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Anonymous2005-11-05 20:25
Dear Mr. God Dude:
Can I have 10bux?
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Anonymous2005-11-05 23:47
30 GET!
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Anonymous2005-11-06 6:51
Do you command that we only ask one question per person, or do you suggest it?
If the former case is true, is that suggestion false?
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Anonymous2005-11-08 12:23
Did you GET 30?
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Anonymous2005-11-09 13:13
no
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Anonymous2005-11-10 9:48
Then ho did it?
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Anonymous2005-11-17 10:45
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks if you're a God, you say "Yes"!
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Anonymous2005-11-17 10:49
Why did you make my arms long enough to reach my penis? :(
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Anonymous2005-11-17 14:32
>>36
So you would be able to wipe the spittle from it after you fucked your retarded sister's face of course.
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Anonymous2005-11-23 11:48
What question should I ask?
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Anonymous2005-11-23 12:55
ur out of questions lol
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Sagemaster2005-11-23 22:26 (sage)
God said you are only permitted to ask one question, this thread ended here >>3
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Anonymous2005-11-24 10:59
Dear God,
Are negroes really white folk that were left in the oven too long?
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Anonymous2005-11-24 12:03
are people on the inside made of marshmallow ?
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Anonymous2005-11-25 0:19
>>41
Whites were undercooked, blacks were overcooked, Asians were just right.
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Anonymous2005-11-26 7:35
Why is my little sister so sexy? Why must she torment me? is it because in fact I am supposed to fuck her? the hell with it. Ill fuck her anyway ;)
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ddddddd2005-11-26 8:11
Dear God,
Cracky-Chan's your daughter right?
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Anonymous2005-11-26 12:58
>>44
God: You dare question MY design? If I designed you so that you'll find your sister hot, it's for a reason. Go, son, and fuck her until you pass out. Such is the will of thy God.
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Anonymous2005-11-26 23:54
wow this "god" likes pr0n?
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Anonymous2005-11-27 9:26
Dear God,
Why do negroes smell like shit and have such nasty big lips?
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God2005-11-27 14:38
>>48
I hate you. And yes i am God and i do not forget.
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Anonymous2005-11-27 15:04
How do we know God is telling the truth?
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Anonymous2005-11-27 19:51
>>50
Simple, follow your faith. God number 46 was speaking the truth, while god number 49 wasn't.
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Anonymous2005-11-28 6:20
are you bowling when i hear thunder?
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Anonymous2005-11-28 8:19
Why do queerrs walk funny and have googoo eyes?
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Anonymous2005-11-28 21:43
because they are queers, idiot!
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Anonymous2005-11-29 17:24
>>52
When I'm pissing it rains
When I'm farting it thunders
When I'm cumming volcanoes erupt
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God2005-11-30 14:56
>>51
I am God. I designed you to interpret my word in any way you wish and since I'm God that is true, therefore everything is correct and incorrect.
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Anonymous2005-11-30 16:48
The ultimate proof of god's omnipotence is that he does not need to exist to save us.
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God2005-12-04 10:15
You all suck. You know why? Cause I am God and I say so.
I allowed GWB to be conceived because he is My avatar on the earth for the new millenium. Anybody who voted against him voted against Me, and they're all in for a hot, miserable eternity.
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Anonymous2005-12-06 0:59
>>63
Actually seeing as god created logic and this universe, only 1 is true.
Yes, because he's omnipotent
Not no, because he's omnipotent.
Paradox only in our frame of reference.
I'm not saying god exists, just that you are stupid and inferior in intelligence to me.
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Anonymous2005-12-06 6:54 (sage)
SAGE BEFORE THIS TURNS INTO A RELIGIOUS DISCUSSION
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Anonymous2005-12-06 9:37
Anyone needing to believe in gods is an inferior intelligence
>>69
belief in a God does not indicate inferior intelligence. In fact, being able to question the accuracy of modern science along with whatever religion you believe in I would think shows a higher order of thinking. Certainly far above those nit wits who believe in evolution but don't even understand the true depth and meaning of it.
>>72
belief in a Evolution does not indicate inferior intelligence. In fact, being able to question the accuracy of religion along with whatever theories you have seen proven using science I would think shows a higher order of thinking. Certainly far above those nit wits who believe in religious myths but don't even understand the need for there to be evidence before you can count something as proven.
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Anonymous2005-12-08 19:34
>>73
Also true. I didn't indend to suggest that belief in evolution indicated inferior intelligence. Only that the public at large has no clue what they believe. The same is true for both christians and evolutionists. I guess what I'm really trying to say is damnit people are stupid.
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Anonymous2005-12-08 20:12
HOW MANY EVOLUTIONISTS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
ONE. HE WAITS FOR THE LIGHTBULB TO EVOLVE INTO ONE THAT CAN SCREW ITSELF IN.
NAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Anonymous2005-12-10 7:32
How many christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All. They will all pray to God to screw it in!
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Anonymous2005-12-10 18:20
I'll go there and say: god doesn't screw the the bulb in becuase you have sinned. You must clean your sins. To do this, you have to [insert my wishes here].
1. Create religion
2. Control lambs
3. PROFIT
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Anonymous2005-12-19 0:15
This thread reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons when Homer went to India with Apu and he was allowed to ask only 3 question to the head of Kwik-E-Mart.
I saw this episode of South Park: Stan asks how he can menstruate and it turns out that men can't bleed from a cunt that they don't have. Then everyone stares at Cartman for being a lying douche and murders his fat-ass. His corpse is paraded around town and after 3 days, he gets resurrected from the dead. To this day, people pray to Cartman for strength whenever they are called out on their bullshit and have run out of ponies and chili to hurt people with.