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WHAT PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE ARE YOU?

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-14 22:06


1. Are you a girl?
Y - 5        N - 2

2. Do you like having your anus haxxed?
Y - 3         N - 4

3. LISP

4. There is a quarter on the ground, do you create an ENTERPRISE SOLUTION to get that quarter into your pocket?
Y - 6        N - 9

5. NONE

6. If you are going to do something, are you more likely to half-ass it than do it well?
Y - 8        N - 7

7. SESHARP

8. JAVA,  ENTERPRISE EDITION

9. Ert þú tala íslenska?
Y - 10        N - 12

10. Fjölnir - "GRUNNER"

11. HASKALL

12. Did your dog die?
Y - 11        N - 13

13. You come to a fork in the road.  A man tells you to go left.  Do you do it?
Y - 17        N - 14

14. Are you FrozenVoid
Y - 16        N - 15

15. Does
    This
        Happen
    To
    Arouse
        You
            In
    Any
        Way?
Y - 18        N - 19

16. JAVASCRIPT

17. SHEEPLES

18. PYTHON

19. C

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-14 22:16

I found this midly amusing.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-14 22:16

*mildly

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-14 23:27

terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 2:30

>>1
I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Would (and will) read again.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 2:45

What about Leah Culver!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 4:48

I thoroughly posted this enjoy. Will (and would) read again.
A++

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 7:22

c hash

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 8:02

u MENA HASKAL

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 10:16

I thought that these numbers were points you accumulate, then I got to the third question and laughed even though I wasn't supposed to.

Name: The Dijkstra 2009-10-15 10:23

Is this a GOTO thread

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 10:30



                           //`'''```,
                 o        // LISP   `.,
           ,....OOo.   .c;.',,,.'``.,,.`
        .'      ____.,'.//
       / _____  \___/.'
      | / ||  \\---\|
      ||  ||   \\  ||
      co  co    co co

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 10:50

>>12
I'm-a zen up you assheoloe wif mah λ

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 10:58

>>10
I laughed because you did.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 12:30

Ert þú tala íslenska?
Yes, I am speak Icelandic.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 12:53

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN >>1

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 13:01

>>16
It's a choose-your-own-adventure quiz.

Name: TRUE TRUTH EXPERT !!TthtFzrtPXElUy7 2009-10-15 13:12

>>1,16,17
sAME MORON TRYING TO GET US ALL INTERESTED IN HIS CRAP. gTFO IDIOT, WHAT YOU DID IS SHIT. i DON'T WANT TO READ STUPID PUZZLES AND SHIZ, i MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK, AM i IN THE QUIZ SECTION OF COSMOPOLITAN FOR BLONDES OR SOMTEHING?

G E T
T H E
F U K
O U T

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 13:15

>>18
Shut the fuck up, tripfag. Nobody cares what you're offended by or what you think the board should be about. You could probably kill yourself tomorrow and nobody would ever miss you.

Name: TRUE TRUTH EXPERT !!TthtFzrtPXElUy7 2009-10-15 13:19

>>19
You could probably kill yourself tomorrow and nobody would ever miss you.
oN THE BIG SCALE THAT'S TRUE FOR ANYONE, i'M COMFORTABLE WITH IT, YOU SEEM TO BE NOT. hUHU, FAG.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 13:20

>>20
hUHU
You sure laugh like a jap!

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 17:03

>>21
*Japanese citizen

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 17:16

>>22
ram your political correctness right up your anus you spoiled rich cracker ass white bread motherfucker.

japs is japs
niggers is niggers
and stupid limp wristed liberal politically correct faggots that feel the need to fix everyone is >>22

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 17:33

>>23
Wow, you sure do have issues.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 18:48

>>23
Get out of my country you fucking spic animal

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 18:58

>>24,25
fuck you.
i agree with >>23.
you know a board is dying when grammar nazis and the like start appearing.
/prog/ IS TOO DAMN YOUNG TO DIE. GET OUT YOU FUCKING OCD SCUMBAGS. GO BACK TO REDDIT OR GAIA WHERE THEY APPRECIATE THIS KIND OF FAGGOTRY

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 18:59

>>26
Only someone with OCD would get so worked up about some words. Something seems to be upsetting you, do you want to talk about it?

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:00

>>11
No, it's a prog thread.

(defun user-language (you)
  (prog ()
   1 (if (girlp you) (go 5) (go 2))
   2 (if (likes-having-anus-haxxed-p you) (go 3) (go 4))
   3 (return "LISP")
   4 (if (enterprise-quarter-retrieval-solution-factory-p you) (go 6) (go 9))
   5 (return)
   6 (if (half-ass-p you) (go 8) (go 7))
   7 (return "SESHARP")
   8 (return "JAVA,  ENTERPRISE EDITION")
   9 (if (tala-íslenska-p you) (go 10) (go 12))
   10 (return "GRUNNUR")
   11 (return "HASKAL")
   12 (if (dof-ded-p you) (go 11) (go 13))
   13 (if (obeys-go-p you) (go 17) (go 14))
   14 (if (equal (user-name you) "FrozenVoid") (go 16) (go 15))
   15 (if (likes-having-indentation-forced-p you) (go 18) (go 19))
   16 (return "JAVASCRIPT")
   17 (return "SHEEPLES")
   18 (return "PYTHON")
   19 (return "C")))

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:00

>>27
learn to read, you moron.
you know a board is dying when grammar nazis and the like start appearing.
i don't want /prog/ to die. not yet.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:01

grammar nazis
>>24,25
I lol'd, and then cried at the thought of the modern education system.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:02

>>26
Pursuant to this topic, your gay.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:03

>>30
they are indirectly supporting >>22, who i a faggot

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:06

grammer nazis

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:06

>>32
i a faggot

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:08

>>32
Be that as it may, >>23 then proceeded to act like a 14 y.o. who has just learnt for the first time that he can be racist on the internet without consequences and >>26 was similarly retarded.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:10

>>34
the cancer.
>>33
the cure.

>>35
political correctness, sanity, and proper english have no place on the internet!
you will come to learn this some day

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:13

>>36
It's not a question of not knowing that, it's that I choose not to accept it[1]. The English language and it's use is not chaotic entity, it's evolution can be driven by people willing to step up and show it the way.

--
The latter two anyway, Political Correctness is flawed by being a politically incorrect term in the first place and a stupid theory overall

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:20

>>37
IHBT

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:20

>>28
Best use of LISP I've ever witnessed.

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 19:22

>>28
(likes-having-anus-haxxed-p you)
( ≖‿≖)

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 21:40

>>36
the cancer
>>37
the cure

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-15 21:41

http://dis.4chan.org/prog/
>>1-
the cancer
>>-1
the cure

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-16 0:38

>>31
What about my gay?

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-16 3:34

>>43
what about your are my gay?

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-02 17:17

I can't speak for everybody in this thread, but for me >>1 was amazingly accurate.  It correctly guessed that I am a python programmer.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-02 17:28

cancer for the cure.
cancer for the cure my sweet thing

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-03 4:27

10 INPUT "Are you a girl?", A$
11 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 50
12 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 20
15 GOTO 10
20 INPUT "Do you like having your anus haxxed?", A$
21 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 30
22 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 40
25 GOTO 20
30 PRINT "LISP"
35 GOTO 1000
40 INPUT "There is a quarter on the ground, do you create an ENTERPRISE SOLUTION to get that quarter into your pocket?", A$
41 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 60
42 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 90
45 GOTO 40
50 PRINT "NONE"
55 GOTO 1000
60 INPUT "If you are going to do something, are you more likely to half-ass it than do it well?", A$
61 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 80
62 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 70
65 GOTO 60
70 PRINT "SESHARP"
75 GOTO 1000
80 PRINT "JAVA,  ENTERPRISE EDITION"
85 GOTO 1000
90 INPUT "Ert þú tala íslenska?", A$
91 IF A$ = "Y" GOTO 100
92 IF A$ = "N" GOTO 120
95 GOTO 90
100 PRINT "Fjölnir - 'GRUNNER'"
105 GOTO 1000
110 PRINT "HASKALL"
115 GOTO 1000
120 INPUT "Did your dog die?", A$
121 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 110
122 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 130
125 GOTO 120
130 INPUT "You come to a fork in the road.  A man tells you to go left.  Do you do it?", A$
131 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 170
132 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 140
135 GOTO 130
140 INPUT "Are you FrozenVoid", A$
141 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 160
142 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 150
145 GOTO 140
150 GOSUB 500
151 IF A$ = "Y" THEN GOTO 180
152 IF A$ = "N" THEN GOTO 190
155 GOTO 150
160 PRINT "JAVASCRIPT"
165 GOTO 1000
170 PRINT "SHEEPLES"
175 GOTO 1000
180 PRINT "PYTHON"
185 GOTO 1000
190 PRINT "C"
195 GOTO 1000
500 PRINT "Does"
501 PRINT "This"
502 PRINT "","Happen"
503 PRINT "To"
504 PRINT "Arouse"
505 PRINT "","You"
506 PRINT "","","In"
507 PRINT "Any"
508 PRINT "","Way?"
509 INPUT A$
510 RETURN
1000 END


MODERN ENTERPRISE QUALITY

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-03 4:32

>>47
hahaha, wow

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-03 9:16

I am mildly amused.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-04 13:55

>>47
Aww, do you hate 8-bit computers and their Microsoft BASIC interpreters?
I ask because BASIC can be beautiful.
And if you were going to throw in the GOSUB near the end, why on earth didn't you use a READ line to pull text out of some DATA statements further down?

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 6:19

>>50
Because GOSUB is ENTERPRISE QUALITY

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 10:23

I'm a toad

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 10:31

>>52 ALL GLORY TO HYPNOTOAD

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 11:06

>>49
You might be surprised, but I'm working on a programming language that's called "mildly amused".

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 11:52

>>54
You might be surprised, but I'm working on a programming language that's called "BRUTALLY ANAL RAPED".

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 12:20

>>55
You might hax your own anus but, well, that's all I had to say.

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 12:25

>>52
Back to writing F# books, Jon

Name: Anonymous 2009-11-05 17:38

I got PYTHON!

Name: Anonymous 2009-12-31 23:15

my university comp-sci classes didn't prepare me for using Fjölnir in the real world.  now i can't land a single programming job =(

Name: ​​​​​​​​​​ 2010-09-09 15:49

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-24 14:24

>>59
Wut

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-24 16:09

Here is a visualization aid to see how poorly optimized this interactive quiz is, to get to a programming language you're almost always required to make O(n) steps as opposed to the optimal O(log(n)) steps, where n is the size of the quiz. Might I suggest that the quiz is re-balanced?

@file: prog.dot
digraph mygraph {
    "1"->"NULL";
    "1"->"2";
    "2"->"Lisp";
    "2"->"4";
    "Lisp";
    "4"->"6";
    "4"->"9";
    "NULL";
    "6"->"Java";
    "6"->"C#";
    "C#";
    "Java";
    "9"->"Fjölnir";
    "9"->"12";
    "Fjölnir";
    "Haskell";
    "12"->"Haskell";
    "12"->"13";
    "13"->"C++";
    "13"->"14";
    "14"->"Javascript";
    "14"->"15";
    "15"->"Python";
    "15"->"C";
    "Javascript";
    "C++";
    "Python";
    "C";
}


@shell: dot -Txlib prog.dot

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-24 16:20

I'm a PC and Windows 7 was my idea.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-24 17:39

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated."

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