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Haskell

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 0:26

It's the biggest sham I've ever seen. I finally know why this entire board is so obsessed with it: It's the perfect language for insane trolls.

The evaluation order is nondeterministic, so trying to make programs run fast is like feeding Schrödinger's cat. The syntax is so arcane and impossible to remember... Sure it looks deceptively simple at first but the punctuation WILL make you insane. And if I have to modify another goddamn program to pass YET ANOTHER parameter into every single function that needs to know the current state (and a real program has a LOT of these, remember) I swear I'll marry Hans Reiser so he'll kill me as brutally as humanly possible, just to vent my fucking rage.

Oh, and you're all assholes.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 0:37

The evaluation order is nondeterministic, so trying to make programs run fast is like feeding Schrödinger's cat.
It can be bit harder than in conventional programming languages, yes, but once you gain some experience it will be much less of a problem.

The syntax is so arcane and impossible to remember... Sure it looks deceptively simple at first but the punctuation WILL make you insane.
Do you have a specific problem with it? I never found any part of it especially difficult, so I'm afraid I don't really understand what you're complaining about.

And if I have to modify another goddamn program to pass YET ANOTHER parameter into every single function that needs to know the current state (and a real program has a LOT of these, remember)
Sounds to me like you haven't quite grasped monads (or a lot of the other idiomatic abstractions) yet. I'm sure we both agree that judging a programming language when you don't understand one of its most essential control mechanisms is a bit silly, no?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 0:38

>>1
This troll is very well laid out. Not only is it trolling about something else being a troll in a recursive fashion, but the very thing which it specifies the subject matter uses to troll is in itself reminiscint of recursion. On top of that, the target audience has been hit spot on and the author has taken care to study the intended recipients and select the qualities most often pointed out by them as being defining features of the troll material. He has managed to not only capture the essence of why proponents of the subject matter like it but also has come up with some very unique personal reasons why he doesn't like it and managed to spin it so that they sound like agreed upon facts.
6/10

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 1:24

>>3
Excellent analysis. Would read again. 8/10

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 2:31

>>4
Accurate, but not overly wordy assessment. Gets the job done, albeit with little elegance. 7/10

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 2:35

>>1
You have some sort of mental deficiency. Haskell is my first exposure to functional languages and I managed to understand the paradigm and syntax just fine.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 3:00

Well done, troll.

I will say this for all the non functional programmers out there, however. Functional programming requires you to develop an entirely different mindset about programming. Yes. It's hard, but you'll be better for it in the end.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 3:16

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 5:30

>>3
Jesus fucking Christ, what does it take to get a 10 from *you*?

Name: FrozenVoid 2009-03-15 5:37

>>9
If you haven't recognized, troll ratings are subtle form of trolling, legitimizing the troll itself in the guise of critique.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 5:49

>>10
Frozenvoid/10. Invisible post quality

Name: FrozenV01D 2009-03-15 6:17

>>11
Oh, stop being so childish. I bet when you were in primarary school you were the girl who used to cover her ears and start talking so she couldn't hear anyone. So if you want to decode an x86 instruction, first you should grab all the prefix bytes. Then you get the first byte of the opcode, and if it's a 2byte one get the second one. Then if the instruction has non-implicit non-immediate operands get the Mod R/M byte. If the address mode is memory and the base register is esp, get the SIB. If there's a memory displacement get it, and if there's an immediate operand get that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 6:22

I didn't rage. I've never used haskell, and based on my experience of not using it, I can only assume it's a stupid toy language that only losers would learn.

Name: name 2009-03-15 6:36

test post

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 8:24

I didn't rage. I've used haskell, and based on my experience of using it, I can only conclude it's a stupid toy language that only losers would learn.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 8:45

>>15
Read: I tried to learn Haskell but got lost in monadic theory because I'm not too clever :-(

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 8:51

>>9
Well, it's a good troll, but it doesn't really make you RAGE, does it?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 9:10

>>16
FUCK YOU PENIS FACE NO ONE USES HASKELL AND I HAVE NEVER TRIED TO LEARN IT BECAUSE NO ONE USES IT AND I ONLY USE SUPREME ENTERPRISE LANGUAGES YOU GOT THAT  I'm off to learn Haskell now. My ruby programming will have to take a back seat.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 9:28

>>16
No, it's because Haskell is a terrible language.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 9:39

lol ghc
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(7): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(7): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
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+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(6): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(8): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(5): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(14): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(10): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(6): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(13): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(5): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(7): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(10): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(8): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(10): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(5): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(6): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(5): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(16): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(14): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(10): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(11): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(6): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(6): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(11): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(8): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(8): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(16): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(7): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(4): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(14): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(5): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(16): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(8): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(14): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(11): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(6): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(15): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(7): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(10): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(15): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(12): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(9): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(3): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+swap_pager_getswapspace(2): failed
+pid 42705 (ghc-6.8.3), uid 1001, was killed: out of swap space

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 9:45

Haskell is trendy, it'll be uncool and everyone will migrate to whatever new thing comes out soon.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 9:49

>>21
s/uncool/uncool soon/

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 10:51

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 12:22

Join my Haskell Haters Club

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 12:28

>>24
what happens in this club?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 12:29

>>25
People cry themselves to sleep using Java.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 12:41

>>11
That's quite a rating.

>>9
Clearly, the troll didn't inspire any particularly strong feeling. It's lacking that crucial element of the 8-10/10 range.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 12:44

>>26
yeah because compared to Haskell every language = Java..

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 12:45

Idiots here's something to think about:

YOUR MOM HAS A PENIS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 13:00

YOU ARE NOW THINKING ABOUT YOUR MOM'S PENIS MANUALLY

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 13:54

>>30
Thats called futanari incest fetish.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 14:47

C is the best language it has been supported for decades and the type checking is just as good and it is faster if you can program like me.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 15:01

>>29-30
Same person. Don't even try to deny it.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 15:14

>>33
actually it wasn't the same person

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 15:43

>>30 here,
I can back >>34's statement of non-samefaggotry up, as I am not, in fact, >>29. I think we both just have a futanari incest fetish.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 15:46

I think we both just have a futanari incest fetish.
Who doesn't?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 18:33

>>36
I don't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 19:29

>>36
I don't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 20:23

>>36
I do.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 22:04

>>36
Never seen a person who doesn't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 23:04

>>36
I accidentally.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:28

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:29

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:30

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:31

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:16

Haskell is basically COBOL.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:28

VALID HASKELL CODE:


asm_fac = do
    loopTest  <- newLabel
    loopStart <- newLabel
    ensureBufferSize 160
    push ecx
    mov  ecx (Disp 8, esp)
    mov  eax (1 :: Word32)
    jmp  loopTest
    loopStart @@ mul ecx
    sub  ecx (1 :: Word32)
    loopTest @@ cmp ecx (0 :: Word32)
    jne  loopStart
    pop  ecx
    ret


http://augustss.blogspot.com/2007/06/playing-with-harpy-recently-there-was.html

Where is your god now?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:42

>>47
Assembly in haskell, this language may be worth my time after all

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:52

>>48
No it isn't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 10:05

Here he comes, here comes Haskell
HASKELL ON HEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 10:07

i=i+1 only makes sense if i is either infinity or negative infinity.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 10:22

>>47
I came.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 15:26

>>47
I came in my mouth a little.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 15:29

>>47
I came in >>53's mouth a little.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 15:36

>>47
I just shat in my mouth a little

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 16:24

I've seen a BASIC implementation in Haskell syntax too.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 6:45

Hah, I found it!

main = runBASIC $ do
    10 GOSUB 1000
    20 PRINT "* Welcome to HiLo *"
    30 GOSUB 1000

    100 LET I := INT(100 * RND(0))
    200 PRINT "Guess my number:"
    210 INPUT X
    220 LET S := SGN(I-X)
    230 IF S <> 0 THEN 300

    240 FOR X := 1 TO 5
    250   PRINT X*X;" You won!"
    260 NEXT X
    270 STOP

    300 IF S <> 1 THEN 400
    310 PRINT "Your guess ";X;" is too low."
    320 GOTO 200

    400 PRINT "Your guess ";X;" is too high."
    410 GOTO 200

    1000 PRINT "*******************"
    1010 RETURN

    9999 END


As I suspected it was on the same blog:  http://augustss.blogspot.com/2009/02/more-basic-not-that-anybody-should-care.html

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 12:40

>>57
go fuck your

self

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 14:53

>>58
What about his you're self

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 15:40

>>59
Well met

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 19:34

fuck 3lfs

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 6:06

Resurrection bump

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 19:53

<dons> you accidentally the whole haskell

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 20:00

>>63
omg i just saw it wasnt that amazing

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 21:02

>>63,64
I saw everything around it, but managed to miss it. I prefer not having seen it.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 23:13

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 0:26

>>66
I thought it was a pyramid java

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 3:25

Look at Haskell's OpenGL bindings, for example. They are consistently about a decade out of date.

Read Lennart Augustsson's comments about using LLVM from Haskell, in particular, the bit where he explains the showstopping bugs he found in GHC's FFI:

http://augustss.blogspot.com/2009/01/performance-update-ive-continued.html

"The GHC FFI is broken for all operations that allocate memory for a Storable, e.g., alloca, with, withArray etc. These operations do not take the alignment into account when allocating. This means that, e.g., a vector of four floats may end up on 8 byte alignment instead of 16. This generates a segfault."

Frag and Topkata are the only two notable graphical programs ever written in Haskell and both are prone to segfaults because of problems with Haskell's FFI.

There are hundreds more counter examples, of course.

EDIT: I found another graphical application written in Haskell called Raincat but, err, it dies at startup when trying to interact with ALSA.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 3:33

Frag and Topkata are the only two notable graphical programs ever written in Haskell
EDIT: I found another graphical application written in Haskell called Raincat but, err, it dies at startup when trying to interact with ALSA.
what about xmonad?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 4:06

>>68
So we know that GHC's FFI is faulty. Now what?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 5:31

>>70
Abandon it like yesterday's whore.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 6:10

Good thing I never used it. Bloated pile of buggy shit.
GHC: 385156.00 K
Hugs: 8536.00 K

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 6:23

>>72
too bad hugs is SAF

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 6:28

>>72
Back to 1980 please.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 12:12

>>69
Experts on Haskell say that it has "a couple hundred users, declining every day"

I have the graphs on debianArt to prove it:
http://popcon.debian.org/~igloo/popcon-graphs/index.php?packages=xmonad&show_installed=on&want_legend=on&want_ticks=on&from_date=&to_date=&hlght_date=&date_fmt=%25Y-%25m&beenhere=1

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 13:01

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 18:00

POPCON CONFIRMS IT, HASKELL IS DYING!

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-11 11:52

BAMPU CONFIRMS IT, PANTSU IS DYING!

I love this thread

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-11 13:12

>>72
GHC: 385156.00 K
Did you mean:
GHC: 577481.00 K
?

Don't change these.
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