Haskell

It's the biggest sham I've ever seen. I finally know why this entire board is so obsessed with it: It's the perfect language for insane trolls.

The evaluation order is nondeterministic, so trying to make programs run fast is like feeding Schrödinger's cat. The syntax is so arcane and impossible to remember... Sure it looks deceptively simple at first but the punctuation WILL make you insane. And if I have to modify another goddamn program to pass YET ANOTHER parameter into every single function that needs to know the current state (and a real program has a LOT of these, remember) I swear I'll marry Hans Reiser so he'll kill me as brutally as humanly possible, just to vent my fucking rage.

Oh, and you're all assholes.

Hah, I found it!

main = runBASIC $ do
    10 GOSUB 1000
    20 PRINT "* Welcome to HiLo *"
    30 GOSUB 1000

    100 LET I := INT(100 * RND(0))
    200 PRINT "Guess my number:"
    210 INPUT X
    220 LET S := SGN(I-X)
    230 IF S <> 0 THEN 300

    240 FOR X := 1 TO 5
    250   PRINT X*X;" You won!"
    260 NEXT X
    270 STOP

    300 IF S <> 1 THEN 400
    310 PRINT "Your guess ";X;" is too low."
    320 GOTO 200

    400 PRINT "Your guess ";X;" is too high."
    410 GOTO 200

    1000 PRINT "*******************"
    1010 RETURN

    9999 END

As I suspected it was on the same blog:  http://augustss.blogspot.com/2009/02/more-basic-not-that-anybody-should-care.html