Haskell

It's the biggest sham I've ever seen. I finally know why this entire board is so obsessed with it: It's the perfect language for insane trolls.

The evaluation order is nondeterministic, so trying to make programs run fast is like feeding Schrödinger's cat. The syntax is so arcane and impossible to remember... Sure it looks deceptively simple at first but the punctuation WILL make you insane. And if I have to modify another goddamn program to pass YET ANOTHER parameter into every single function that needs to know the current state (and a real program has a LOT of these, remember) I swear I'll marry Hans Reiser so he'll kill me as brutally as humanly possible, just to vent my fucking rage.

Oh, and you're all assholes.

>>1
This troll is very well laid out. Not only is it trolling about something else being a troll in a recursive fashion, but the very thing which it specifies the subject matter uses to troll is in itself reminiscint of recursion. On top of that, the target audience has been hit spot on and the author has taken care to study the intended recipients and select the qualities most often pointed out by them as being defining features of the troll material. He has managed to not only capture the essence of why proponents of the subject matter like it but also has come up with some very unique personal reasons why he doesn't like it and managed to spin it so that they sound like agreed upon facts.
6/10