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Haskell

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 0:26

It's the biggest sham I've ever seen. I finally know why this entire board is so obsessed with it: It's the perfect language for insane trolls.

The evaluation order is nondeterministic, so trying to make programs run fast is like feeding Schrödinger's cat. The syntax is so arcane and impossible to remember... Sure it looks deceptively simple at first but the punctuation WILL make you insane. And if I have to modify another goddamn program to pass YET ANOTHER parameter into every single function that needs to know the current state (and a real program has a LOT of these, remember) I swear I'll marry Hans Reiser so he'll kill me as brutally as humanly possible, just to vent my fucking rage.

Oh, and you're all assholes.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-15 23:04

>>36
I accidentally.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:28

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:29

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:30

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 4:31

Here he comes, here comes speedracer,
HE'S A DEMON ON WHEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:16

Haskell is basically COBOL.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:28

VALID HASKELL CODE:


asm_fac = do
    loopTest  <- newLabel
    loopStart <- newLabel
    ensureBufferSize 160
    push ecx
    mov  ecx (Disp 8, esp)
    mov  eax (1 :: Word32)
    jmp  loopTest
    loopStart @@ mul ecx
    sub  ecx (1 :: Word32)
    loopTest @@ cmp ecx (0 :: Word32)
    jne  loopStart
    pop  ecx
    ret

http://augustss.blogspot.com/2007/06/playing-with-harpy-recently-there-was.html

Where is your god now?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:42

>>47
Assembly in haskell, this language may be worth my time after all

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 9:52

>>48
No it isn't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 10:05

Here he comes, here comes Haskell
HASKELL ON HEELS

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 10:07

i=i+1 only makes sense if i is either infinity or negative infinity.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 10:22

>>47
I came.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 15:26

>>47
I came in my mouth a little.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 15:29

>>47
I came in >>53's mouth a little.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 15:36

>>47
I just shat in my mouth a little

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-16 16:24

I've seen a BASIC implementation in Haskell syntax too.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 6:45

Hah, I found it!

main = runBASIC $ do
    10 GOSUB 1000
    20 PRINT "* Welcome to HiLo *"
    30 GOSUB 1000

    100 LET I := INT(100 * RND(0))
    200 PRINT "Guess my number:"
    210 INPUT X
    220 LET S := SGN(I-X)
    230 IF S <> 0 THEN 300

    240 FOR X := 1 TO 5
    250   PRINT X*X;" You won!"
    260 NEXT X
    270 STOP

    300 IF S <> 1 THEN 400
    310 PRINT "Your guess ";X;" is too low."
    320 GOTO 200

    400 PRINT "Your guess ";X;" is too high."
    410 GOTO 200

    1000 PRINT "*******************"
    1010 RETURN

    9999 END

As I suspected it was on the same blog:  http://augustss.blogspot.com/2009/02/more-basic-not-that-anybody-should-care.html

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 12:40

>>57
go fuck your

self

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 14:53

>>58
What about his you're self

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 15:40

>>59
Well met

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-17 19:34

fuck 3lfs

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 6:06

Resurrection bump

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 19:53

<dons> you accidentally the whole haskell

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 20:00

>>63
omg i just saw it wasnt that amazing

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 21:02

>>63,64
I saw everything around it, but managed to miss it. I prefer not having seen it.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 23:13

http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/85s56/we_invested_a_lot_of_time_and_money_diversifying/

Reddit confirms that Haskell is a pyramid scheme

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 0:26

>>66
I thought it was a pyramid java

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 3:25

Look at Haskell's OpenGL bindings, for example. They are consistently about a decade out of date.

Read Lennart Augustsson's comments about using LLVM from Haskell, in particular, the bit where he explains the showstopping bugs he found in GHC's FFI:

http://augustss.blogspot.com/2009/01/performance-update-ive-continued.html

"The GHC FFI is broken for all operations that allocate memory for a Storable, e.g., alloca, with, withArray etc. These operations do not take the alignment into account when allocating. This means that, e.g., a vector of four floats may end up on 8 byte alignment instead of 16. This generates a segfault."

Frag and Topkata are the only two notable graphical programs ever written in Haskell and both are prone to segfaults because of problems with Haskell's FFI.

There are hundreds more counter examples, of course.

EDIT: I found another graphical application written in Haskell called Raincat but, err, it dies at startup when trying to interact with ALSA.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 3:33

Frag and Topkata are the only two notable graphical programs ever written in Haskell
EDIT: I found another graphical application written in Haskell called Raincat but, err, it dies at startup when trying to interact with ALSA.
what about xmonad?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 4:06

>>68
So we know that GHC's FFI is faulty. Now what?

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 5:31

>>70
Abandon it like yesterday's whore.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 6:10

Good thing I never used it. Bloated pile of buggy shit.
GHC: 385156.00 K
Hugs: 8536.00 K

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 6:23

>>72
too bad hugs is SAF

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 6:28

>>72
Back to 1980 please.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 12:12

>>69
Experts on Haskell say that it has "a couple hundred users, declining every day"

I have the graphs on debianArt to prove it:
http://popcon.debian.org/~igloo/popcon-graphs/index.php?packages=xmonad&show_installed=on&want_legend=on&want_ticks=on&from_date=&to_date=&hlght_date=&date_fmt=%25Y-%25m&beenhere=1

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 13:01

>>75
http://popcon.debian.org/~igloo/popcon-graphs/index.php?packages=xmonad&show_installed=on&show_vote=on&show_recent=on&show_nofiles=on&want_legend=on&want_ticks=on&from_date=&to_date=&hlght_date=&date_fmt=%25Y-%25m&beenhere=1
this way it's even sadder.

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-19 18:00

POPCON CONFIRMS IT, HASKELL IS DYING!

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-11 11:52

BAMPU CONFIRMS IT, PANTSU IS DYING!

I love this thread

Name: Anonymous 2009-10-11 13:12

>>72
GHC: 385156.00 K
Did you mean:
GHC: 577481.00 K
?
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