Useless Statements

Are there actually any real programmers even frequenting this board?

because it seems to me that the only people posting responses are:

1. making fun of grammar
2. saying not to help the person
3. making an obvious and unhelpful statement
4. insulting the OP's intelligence
5. insulting the OP's choice of prog language (regardless of what it is)
6. Insulting the OP's Operating system (regardless of what it is)
7. Making a statement that is inaplicable in the situation, or
8. Using some form of leetspeak/pseudocode to insult or otherwise make a statement that is moot or inapplicable


so i would find it interesting if those that frequent this board fill out a quick questionaire:

A. Your Age
B. Your Level of Education
C. Your Experience with Programming (list all applicable)
and finally
D. Your current Occupation and Paygrade

Ill start with the next post...

OP here, I stink. HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FUNNY LMAO!!!11

>>1-999
Same person and we have been trolled constantly

>>2
back to /b/, please

A. 20
B. Junior in College: 3.6 GPA, ~75 Hours
C. About 21 hours of Undergrad Classes and 6 hours of Grad-level Project based Courses
D. Junior Editor for a local paper; ~$35,000+ a year (part-time, Plus any articles i submit via freelancing.
(i rake in about 600 a week)

20
MD, PhD, DSc, FAAD, Sgt
I wrote the ansi standard eight years ago. I also wrote the first ansi compliant c compiler eight years ago.
I write huge enterprise systems that you couldn't possibly imagine as an EXPERT PROGRAMMER.

>>5

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
  THE FORCED INDENTATION OF THE CODE
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OTHER CAR I GUESS ?
ITS A CDR
AND IS PRONOUNCED ``CUDDER''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS /prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE READ SICP
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO
TOO BAD RUBY ON RAILS IS SLOW AS FUCK
BBCODE AND ((SCHEME)) ARE THE ULTIMATE LANGUAGES
ALSO
WELCOME TO /prog/
EVERY THREAD WILL BE REPLIED TO
NO EXCEPTION

A. 17
B. current college student
C. a year of college so far and sepples is my hobby
D. student $0.00

A. 55.
B. Harvard University.
C. Programmer at the AI Laboratory of MIT.
D. President, Free Software Foundation, 140K.

>>9
WTF, The Sussman!

>>10
Free Software Foundation
No.

>>11
WTF, The Greenspun!

A. 21
B. Completing my BSc, considering dropping out because of ``useless bullshit.''
C. I wrote a C compiler when I was 12.
D. ``Programming Consultant'' 20 hours/week doing essentially Linux Administration; $10/hour.

FSF Software Foundation

>>11
You do know the Sussman is a voting member of the Free Software Foundation?

>>1
not a real programmer

ergo fatso nigger, only one who would complain about our trolling is some sad fucker who wants us to be his personal programming professors or support desk

people here are real programmers, trust me on this, if you ask the right questions and look through the trolling bullshit, you will see

I am a real programmer.

I am an unreal programmer.

A. a little less than (-1)^(1/i) years.
B. "In my opinion the prevailing systems of education are all wrong, from the first stage to the last stage. Eduation begins where it should terminate, and youth, instead of being led to the development of their faculties by the use of their senses, are made to acquire a great quantity of words, expressing the ideas of other men instead of comprehending their own faculties, or becoming acquainted with the words they are taught or the ideas the words should convey." -- William Duane, "Journal of the Senate of the Commonwealth of Kentucky," 1822
C.
#include <inttypes.h>
#include <limits.h>
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
int main(int argc, char* argv[]){
 for(int i=1;i<argc;printf("== prime factors of %jd\n",strtoimax(argv[i++],NULL,0)))for(intmax_t n=strtoimax(argv[i],NULL,0),j=2;j<=n;n/=n%j?(++j)*0+1:j+printf("%jd ",j)*0);
}
D. internet troll, over $9000.

A. 27
B. Completed highschool.
C. None.
D. Unemployed, I'm trying all the fast food chains around, but all have turned me down so far.

ok, cool, i get to voice myself for once.

A. 22

B. In my 8th semester of college, one more to go (im slightly behind)

C. cs major, besides all the self-teaching (basic, c++, java, javascript, php, scheme, brainfuck, linux, etc...things for fun and things for actual use), as for cs jobs i've been
-teacher for elementary students (html)
-teacher for middle/high school students (java)
-teacher for teachers (i had to teach them fucking dreamweaver)
-teacher's assistant (i taught the intro. CS labs that everyone hates)
-tutored for all the beginner CS classes
-microchip programmer

D. tutor @ about $9/hr, and researcher @ about $10/hr
i only work a total of 19 hours a week between both however, as i am but a student

>>21

me again

classes ive taken:

Data Structures in Java (first class)
Discrete Math (nothing to program here)
Advanced Data Structures in C
Computer Organization I (circuits in simuaid)
Systems Programming (low-level C, Perl)
Analysis of Algorithms
Operating Systems (C and Java)
Computer Organization II (MIPS and x86 assembly)
Programming Languages (Scheme, ml, C++)
Compiler Writing (C, yacc, my favorite class so far)

currently in

Unix and Network Security (to understand hacking you must become a hacker, great class)
Computer Networks (C, this guy sucks)
Computer Architecture (verilog???  fuckin lame)
Multimedia (matlab and image encoding/transforming, meh)


also, my work is in beta-testing a brand-new programming language my compilers professor wrote for scipting automated code transformation for optimizing performance-critical functions (thats a mouthful, right?)  im part of a small team, its kinda neat.  way better than enterprise programming imo.  id rather do something fringe/out-there than something common.

>>1-21
everyone on /prog/ is unemployed and lives in their parents basement, spending their days insulting random strangers who make simple spelling or grammatical errors

>>22
Spoiler: /prog/­ doesn't give a shit what stupid ass courses your dumbass managed to pass -- you're still stuck doing shit jobs making wages on-par with the uneducated redneck working the night shift at McDonald's flipping burgers for unemployed niggers getting their late-night munchies fulfilled.

And you work is ``Beta-Testing'' a programming language? Please. Programming isn't a fucking video game, it's abstracte bullshit. If you were an enterprising expert, you'd draft a large collection of test cases and demonstrate that the programming language meets expectations. If you're an EXPERT PROGRAMMER you'd set up a proof of validity which demonstrates that the language is both valid (can be implemented) and useful. Then you'd write a paper explaining why your Scheme implementation benefits from omitting the SET! command.

Another spoiler: Your ``professor'' you so look up to is a fucking dipshit who couldn't get a decent job himself, and has settled with teaching idiots like yourself. Maybe he's got a flair for ego-fanning, maybe he's a closet pedophile who doesn't want to get in trouble with the law again. Who cares. The point is that he's a talentless hack, and you're even less for respecting him. Even less for inflating his hollow-backed ego further. A real programmer can wank any arbitrary language together with their own semen smeared over lex/flex and yacc/bison and still have enough time in the day left over to lay pick up a pair of lesbians at the bar and fuck them both. Twice.

So why don't you go back to sucking your professor's cock under the desk, since you so obviously want to follow in his sorry footsteps? We certainly don't want your kind here.

>>24
I grade you A. I don't see where I can fault you.

A. 48
B. Ph.D, Computer Science
C. PDP-11 Asm, x86 Asm, SPARC Asm, MIPS Asm, ARM Asm, C, C++, Java (some), Lisp, FORTRAN, Pascal, Scheme
D. Senior Instructor; $128K/yr (yes, that's 2¹⁷).

>>26
This may surprise you, but 2¹⁷ = 131072

>>27
Kibidollars.

A. 14
B. Junior High, High School next year
C. I wrote an IRC spammer in Python using irclib, and I'm learning Perl now. C bored me with all the hexademical tl;dr sections.
D. My parents don't give me money so none.

>>29
EXPERT ANIME COLLECTOR

A. 23
B. High school in august
C. 8 years of c, perl, php, sql, less experience with assembler, intel syntax using nasm on mostly unix systems like bsd, some experience in sparc64, mostly creating shellcode on it, some experience also in tcl and tk(also with perl), i know basic c++ but only because i already know c well, not much experience using c++, i worked for 4 years running an isp where i also wrote code and managed servers
D. Student at adult loser school, freelance work sometimes

A. 22
B. BSCS, 1 year into MS
C. 2 years DoD contracting
D. RA, 25K + summer work ~= 35K

A. 12
B. Self-educated
C. I wrote an ANSI C compiler in ANSI C
D. Writing programs that you wouldn't even comprehend

good luck OP!!!

/prog/ has been overrun with cancer a LONG time ago, look at the replies in this thread and count the helpful ones. although /prog/ hasn't become another /b/ (yet), it's only a matter of time before the real programmers leave. noone wants to post among people who don't know what personal responsibility on a board means

/prog/ used to be a place where we could be amongst eachother; now we're amongst eachother--WITH A LOT OF FUCKTARDS MIXED IN. that sucks on an anonymous board. the signal/ratio has been dropping SO BAD lately that me and a couple of friends decided to start our own chan.

we just have the boards we want, atm that is: /int/, /pro/, /prog/ and /psy/ (you read that right: no /b/ -- if we wanna act like fools we come here). to keep it from degenerating into a pool where people like >>7 congregate we're only inviting real life friends (and they dont go around spamming the IP).

when you know who is frequenting the board (irl) it's much easier to deal with trolls. every shit post get permabanned. of course when someone we know asks us to be unbanned we do it right away, but shit like >>2,3,7 basically doesn't happen. the trolls stay where they belong: 4chan. it really *IS* the garbage can of the internet y'know.

i invite everyone to do the same, it really makes for a much better experience online.

>>35
/prog/ is /b/ with programming.

4chan is not a place to be serious on the Internet.

>>35
Who the hell "deals" with trolls? Trolls are the cancer that cures "serious business".

>>35
Look at it this way.

On most browsers, you can bring up your browsing history by pressing Control-H. (No, this is not going to become a discussion of werecows.) On Firefox, this brings up a sidebar that shows up on the left side of the window. If you put your mouse over the edge of the sidebar, the cursor will turn into a different kind of arrow. By clicking and dragging it, you can move the edge of the sidebar back and forth. You are, to put it another way, manipulating the border between the normal window and the history window. By moving the mouse, you can increase the portion of the window devoted to either part. In a more extreme view of this situation, you're increasing or decreasing the amount of existence the sidebar has.

Now, let's apply this idea to something more abstract. Look out your window. If you don't live in a highly urbanized area, you should be able to see the horizon. Think of this as the border between the land and the sky. The land and sky are obviously distinguishable thanks to this boundary. Now, if you were to "drag" the sash between the sky and the land, or to manipulate the border between land and sky, you would end up causing the sky to become larger and the land to become smaller, or vice versa. An effect of this might be to cause something that was just on the ground to suddenly be hundreds of feet in the air. Truly a frightening situation to be in. So, look at it this way - manipulating the border between two physical things shifts whatever balance there is in the interaction between those things. Alternatively, by manipulating the border between two things, you can change the manner in which they exist.

Still, this isn't *that* abstract, since it's still dealing with real things in the real world. Many believe that in this world, there are those things that are true, and those that obviously aren't. This divides reality into two extremes: truth and falsehood. But, since we have two extremes, logically one can imagine a boundary between those two extremes - the border between truth and lies. If one were to manipulate this border, suddenly things that were pure fantasy (flying pigs, for the sake of argument) have become reality - or things from reality have ceased to exist. This is how Yukari is said to have invaded the moon - by manipulating the border between truth and lies, as applied to the reflection of the moon on a pond, she was able to make the reflection of the moon into a manifestation of the actual moon, and so send her youkai army onto it. This is what's truly amazing about Yukari's power - the ability to manipulate the border between completely abstract concepts allows her to fundamentally change reality as we know it (at least in terms of two abstract concepts).

>>35
start our own chan.
link plz so i can cum n fuck u up!

I do agree that the shitty copypasta in >>7 is very annoying, however.  The original tough programmer copypasta is much more amusing (and I happen to have written it as well).

>>36-40
WHBT.