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/prog/ CENSUS

Name: GOVERNMENT 2008-01-04 0:39

Just how many /prog/rammers are here? How highly do they rank on the ENTERPRISE faggot scale? I propose that every /prog/ regular posts once in this thread. If you post multiple times, the Sussman will send you to Hell when you die, where you will be forced to work on a team implement the next big language, a combination of the best parts of BASIC and Java, in itself, working with the other damned (Bjarne Stroustrup, the Abelson &c.), while listening to Infected Mushroom.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 0:42

I AM AN EXPERT VB PROGRAMMER

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 0:50

Java is where it's at.

Name: G.J. Sussman 2008-01-04 0:53

Hi.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 1:07

I rank very highly on the enterprise software scale. All my software scales very well for my enterprise's requirements.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 1:31

I create multi-tier turnkey enterprise solutions in my spare time

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 1:40

incrementng the count of /prog/ers

Name: !MhMRSATORI 2008-01-04 1:50

I teach C and Asm to semiintelligent college students.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 2:39

I mostly hack C, Python, and Haskell. I've never written a line of Java in my life. That puts me at around -5 on the ENTERPRISE scale.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 2:45

Do you want to leverage core skillsets and world-class team synergy through sodomy to provide clients worldwide with robust, scalable, modern turnkey implementations of flexible, personalized, cutting-edge Internet-enabled e-business application product suite e-solution architectures that accelerate response to customer and real-world market demands and reliably adapt to evolving technology needs, seamlessly and efficiently integrating and synchronizing with their existing legacy infrastructure, enhancing the e-readiness capabilities of their e-commerce production environments across the enterprise while giving them a critical competitive advantage and taking them to the next level?

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 3:06

NO EXCEPTIONS

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 3:26

++/prog/

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 3:30

another oldtimer here.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 5:13

I am the most active poster in /prog/, apart from that troll guy.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 7:45

>>14
I am that troll guy. You're a faggot.

Name: Paul Graham 2008-01-04 10:33

HI, I'M PAUL GRAHAM, FOUNDER AND CEO OF Y COMBINATOR. I HAVE MADE MANY INSIGHTFUL STATEMENTS IN MY ESSAY ENTITLED "YOUR MOTHER AND THE 48 VERY SMART PEOPLE" AND WOULD LIKE TO THANK TREVOR BLACKWELL, ROBERT MORRIS AND JESSICA LIVINGSTON FOR HAVING READ DRAFTS OF THIS ESSAY, WHICH YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND WITH 21 OTHERS ESSAYS IN MY UPCOMING BOOK "HACKERS AND YOUR SISTER". I GUARANTEE IT.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 12:21

Annoying university undergrad that never had to use a programming language outside the real world and thinks Haskell and Lisp are the ultimate languages.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 16:46

I am the inventor of many famous /prog/ memes, including, but by no means not limited to:
1) Forced indentation
2) My other car
3) Tuna Fish
4) Failed attempt at granting X meme status
5) Reading SICP
6) Announcing invented memes
7) Stealing memes

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 16:51

>>18
You ass, I invented #7.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 17:14

I invented ``And so life imitates art''

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 17:54

I invented ``faggot quotes'', pronunciation threads, ID faggotry (rest in peace), and randomly placed spoiler tags.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 17:55

>>21
Oh, and INFECTED MUSHROOM.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 18:19

by no means not limited
Double negative. Faggot

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 18:20

>>20, 21
I invented STOP USING faggot QUOTES

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 20:14

>>22
Failed attempt at granting ``INFECTED MUSHROOM'' meme status.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 21:28

This may surprise you, but I invented every meme in this thread.
Therefore, I have achieved satori.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 21:48

>>26
I created Satori, thus if you have reached Satori, I created you. And if I can create you, then I can destroy you!!!

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-04 22:00

>>25
I invented the "Failed attempt at granting ``%s'' meme status." meme.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 11:55

I invented this meme.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 11:57

>>1
AI researcher (commercial sector, not academic wanker) reporting in.  LOL @ ENTERPRISE FAGGOT TREE

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 12:34

>>1
Final year CS student with some telecommunications experience signing in.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 12:47

Another CS student here.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 13:06

The Sussman, reporting in.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 13:18

sum computer-related engineery here.
really, I don't know what my career would translate to, as it's ingieniería en informática in Chile, we get sum CS, networking, software engineery, physics, math and administrative/ben counter faggotry, spiced with .NET [b][u]ENTERPRISE CODE[/u][/b] (and eiffel and haskell) and C, C++, UML, mysql, databases, data structures, systems theory, discreete math, aspect-oriented programming, and loads of stuff...

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 13:36

>>34
I saw the broken bbcode and didn't bother reading your post.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 14:27

>>35
srsly... why did it went wrong?
test

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 14:37

>>35
Holy  crap,  same  here!

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 14:47

I am a (&$_((*%0[2]**($Perlfag), $`))), butthurt Cfag, part-time brainfuck troll and EX-SEPPLES PROGRAMMER.
Jus2letUno

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 15:08

Hello. I like to hit women during sex and not during sex.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 15:46

MECHANICAL ENGINEER

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 19:36

fgds

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 20:07

i'm a student who does a lot of srs programming(aka not for school)

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 21:03

>>42
The fact that you don't know what AKA stands for diminishes my confidence in your programming abilities.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-05 21:12

I think >>43 is a pretty cool guy. eh knows what aka stands for and doesn't afraid of anything.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-06 12:52

>>1
Freelance programmer living with parents and making just enough to keep myself entertained.  Want to go enterprise and move away though, but I don't know Java or C# well enough.  Dunno if I ever pass the interview.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-06 13:01

I like to write perl code during sex and not during sex.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-06 13:03

>>45
Protip: Most likely the interviewer will be from HRM and not technical. "Bullshit baffles brains".

Go get em tiger

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-06 13:34

>>45
If you go enterprise, don't fucking worry -- HR isn't going to know shit, just have an impressive resume and use lots of fancy sounding terms. Look like you know everything. Not knowing Java or C# well enough will NEVER keep you from being hired ENTERPRISE STYLE

If you are interviewing for a startup, know your shit -- when I interviewed for the startup I worked at, the HR department was one guy -- the director of the IT department. You won't BS your way past that.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-06 13:37

>>47
Even in none-programming jobs, this is very much the case. They will mostly assess you on how suitable you are for the company, not your XPART LAMBDA SKILLZZ

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-18 3:07

Don't call me gay, but I need some mary jay!

Marijuana MUST be legalized.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-14 6:22

Name: Anonymous 2011-02-03 3:43

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-11 20:54

(define f (lambda (x) (lambda (y) (+ x y]

what does it do?

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-11 21:22

>>53
Give you a syntax error in all the modern Lisp systems[1] I know.

[1] Some old Lisp systems accepted ] to close all the currently open parens.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-11 21:33

I'd like to think I am a /prog/rammer, but lately, I've been having to use php for work shit... and it's government shit too.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 4:50

>>54
Ok, what about

(define f (lambda (x) (lambda (y) (+ x y))))

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 5:49

>>56
It defines a function f which takes an argument x and returns a closure which takes an argument y and returns the sum of its argument y and external local variable x (which is an argument to f). For example, if you want to get a+b, you can do ((f a) b). The lambda (y) (+ x y) is what is called a closure, as it encloses 'x' from the outer scope.

Hell, I'm not even a Lisper!

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 7:40

>>56
Give you a syntax error on Common Lisps.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 7:42

I'm the who guy who created:

AUTISM
FARTISM
THE JEWS ARE AFTER ME

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 7:43

>>59
Die in a fire.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 10:01

>>60
lol fuck you fartist

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 10:58

>>58
Ooh, I get it.  It's a joke because Lisp has no syntax!

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 11:43

not enterprise here.

generally can't stand working on teams of more than like 4 programmers.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 12:22

I used to work in an enterprise environment on a business intelligence application.

Needless to say, it was entirely undocumented, had no clear architecture, hacks and bugs in pretty much every second line and took longer to start up than a grandma crossing a street. At one point, I managed to speed up a part of the application by about 10x by preventing it from downloading the entire meta scheme from the database on pretty much every operation. Good times.

I no longer work there. That's all.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-12 15:25

Just TDD it!!!!

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