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Inoffensive jokes

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-03 23:48 ID:rIhgzJFn

What are the best "clean" jokes you know, even if they're a little corny and nerdy? Clean as in not involving sex, drugs, guns, dead, foul language, dead babies, pedophilia, etc.

Here's mine:

Q: What's 5 x 4 x 3 x 2 x 1?
A: Five! (5!)

Post 'em.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-03 23:49 ID:Zjw0X7Xt

i dont get it..
:confused:

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-03 23:50 ID:rIhgzJFn

Five factorial.

Underage b&

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-03 23:54 ID:Zjw0X7Xt

>>3
um what? I'm 37, college graduate (diploma in photography) and i still dont know what Five factorial is. lol

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:00 ID:x4unV0mT

>>4
(diploma in photography) <-- ah, that explains it.

This explains factorials --> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factorial

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:17 ID:213Tkins

Q: Have you herd about the circus fire??



A:It was in tents!!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:25 ID:Heaven

>>6
puns = fail

Name: RedCream 2007-09-04 0:34 ID:OJiy8z+b

>>6
Why isn't this offensive?  A fire in the tents of a circus is likely to have taken the lives of circus actors and animals.  We're talking about burning and choking to DEATH.  That's offensive!

(Note:  This response was made possible by the gayfailing of the Liberal Viewpoint™.)

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:49 ID:WecJkmhr

I love factorials.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:56 ID:Qqwq4TTQ

these two gay guys were having sex, and one of them had to go to the bathroom, so he said to the other, dont finish without me. When he came back there was cum everywhere. He asked his partner why he had finished, and his partner replied "i didnt, i just farted"

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:56 ID:213Tkins

nothing of value was in the tent during the fire.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 0:58 ID:l8AXUec2

millions of jews were killed during the holocaust

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 1:04 ID:diWmQNjV

A cow, a butcher pedophile, and Ron Paul walk into a bar. The cow says "I'll have what he's having," and points to the butcher pedophile. The butcher then cleaves the cow and pours her blood into a martini then drinks it eats eats the glass. Dripping blood from his gored mouth, he proceeds to rape the cabana boy. Ron Paul asks the barman "Have you ever seen such a scene?" The bar man replies, "Only in Rio." They laugh, then rape a dead turkey with hammers.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 1:43 ID:GWBw7kMS

Peter is a patient man, though somewhat loudmouthed.
When a politician cheats his sister, Peter is forced out into a strange country in order to find some answers. The politician wants to avenge something, which requires certain occult objects, which the sister has knowledge of. With the help of personal connections and raw willpower, Peter succeeds in
confronting the politician near country meadows, and there settles the score. It was there that two jews walk into a bar...
Michael Jackson

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 1:47 ID:l8AXUec2

fat people

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 5:39 ID:+1IakC02

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.

There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.

What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.



yea well...

Name: RedCream 2007-09-04 5:48 ID:Cg/oEqUZ

Q. What's the best thing about fucking a 4-yr-old?
A. Hearing the pelvis snap.

Q. What's the worst thing about fucking an 8-yr-old?
A. Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 5:52 ID:Heaven

>>17
just gtfo, newfag

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 5:54 ID:1HnDAOqd

>>18
you shut the fuck up little man

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 5:57 ID:+1IakC02

>>17
MOAR
>>18
FAIL

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 6:51 ID:dVuvObwj

Goddammit you faggots can't anyone stay on topic?

>>20

Q: What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?

A: There's twenty of them.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 6:54 ID:QsGuv39F

black people

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 7:14 ID:2RAB4bxE

>>21
stay on topic you say?
please read the OP's post before you spout that nonsense of yours

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 7:21 ID:dVuvObwj

>>23

I AM the OP. I just posted that 'cause I thought of it.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 8:14 ID:FBOUo9+5

>>1

5? The answer is 120 you moron.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-04 8:17 ID:+1IakC02

>>25
hahahaahahaaha

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 8:50 ID:In540/VN

>>25
"5? The answer is 120 you moron"

OP said 5! which means 120.

Feel free to gb2gaia, fag

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 8:54 ID:Heaven

"!=" means "not equal to"
Saying 5!=5*4*3*2*1 is the same as saying 5 is not equal to 5*4*3*2*1.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 8:56 ID:OkupnjDi

>>28
moron

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 16:23 ID:9o/f04pP

>>28
Ultimate phail

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 16:32 ID:6aQ09Dkr

My other car is a cdr

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 16:52 ID:MNEli/p9

Your mum went to the shop to buy haddock but they didn't have haddock so she got cod.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 16:56 ID:MNEli/p9

>>16
And thanks, I just spat out hot coffee all over myself.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 17:11 ID:d2uWDw+R

>>25
>>28
Considering the link to a wikipedia explanation of Factorials earlier in the thread, you kids are lookin pretty stupid right about now.

Name: RedCream 2007-09-05 17:13 ID:J3a3b6Zm

>>33
Coffee?  Is THAT the code word you use for cum nowadays?

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 18:43 ID:qcz0ELNh

>>35
Shut up you dumb cunt, you aren't funny, edgy or entertaining. You're like some usenet troll from 1998.

Name: RedCream 2007-09-05 18:45 ID:vACShcMs

>>36
Make me, tough guy.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 18:48 ID:qcz0ELNh

>>37
You fail at life. Enjoy your aspergers and loneliness.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 18:48 ID:PJV1nFez

A man walks into a bar, and brings a basketball along. The bouncer tells him he has to get out because he's not allowed to bring a basketball into the bar. The man scoffs at this and refuses to leave, but then a couple of guys who are up to no good start a fight with him. The bouncer gets scared and says "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!"

Also, there is much crack-induced dead baby rape, then everyone shoots themselves in the head and becomes an hero.

Name: RedCream 2007-09-05 19:00 ID:vACShcMs

>>38
You still haven't made me shut up, tough guy.  You're attempts to dig up some sort of shame or remorse are pathetic and stupid, AT BEST.  The facts are in:  YOU are failing at life.

Time for you to choke down cocks in the back parking lot, eh?

Name: RedCream 2007-09-05 19:20 ID:vACShcMs

>>38
C'mon, tough guy!  KISS THE RING!  You're about as effective as a sparrow's fart in a fucking hurricane.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:27 ID:qcz0ELNh

>>41
lol k

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:30 ID:/r/eOVn7

What's blue and fluffy?








Blue fluff!

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:32 ID:SpVHB7af

Redcream, it really is time for you either to just go anon or to go to gaia.  We are tired of you.  Your not funny, your not clever, your not cool.  Just go..  please.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:40 ID:N72oS/xd

>>44 agreed

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:40 ID:PQ9MTV/g

Redcream is intelligent and physically fit.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:40 ID:PQ9MTV/g

Also, +1 to >>44

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 19:56 ID:OkupnjDi

>>46
NO HE'S NAWT! HE'S DUMB AND FAT> GTFO newfag. sage'ing this shit

Name: RedCream 2007-09-05 21:26 ID:Gr/1LzBX

Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.

A. What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Q. DUNG!

At this time, we must sadly report that >>44 was found throatraped and drowned in semen in the back parking lot.  Apparently the lustful vision of "choking down cocks" was too much for him and he became overwhelmed in the filthy performance of his fantasies.  Really, folks, don't take my hot talk too seriously and then lose your fucking minds as a result.  Dying for a deep dickthroating just can't be worth it.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-05 21:54 ID:PQ9MTV/g

>>48 no shit that was the joke you fucking retard.

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-25 13:00

bump

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-25 14:02

Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.




A nigger and its niglets are are on an airplane. All of a sudden, one of the engines goes out. The Flight Attendant comes to the cabin and says "I'm sorry, but we have a serious problem. An engine has blown, and we have to get rid of extra weight on the plane. Some of you will have to be thrown overboard so we can stabilize the plane and land. The pilots have decided that the only fair way to do this is in alphabetical order.".

So after the panic dies down the flight attendant says, "we will begin with the letter 'A'. All African Americans are requested at the door at the back of the plane."

After a couple of people rise and jump out, the flight attendent says "next we will go to the 'B's. All Blacks please report to the door at the back of the plane".

The nigglet looks at his dad and says "why ain't we gettin' up pa?".
The dad looks at his son and says "Today son, we be Niggers"






Niglet returns home with a huge round of cheese. The mammy asks, "where you get dat cheese". Niglet says "I be found it rowlin down da street, but I know it be Nacho Cheese".

Mammy says "how you know dat?"

Niglet says "coz while i be runnin' home wit it some otha kid be sayin' "Thats not cho cheese, thats not cho cheese!".

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-25 17:22

Where do cats like to swim?
In the Pussific.

Name: Christopher Logan Hanssen 2008-01-26 0:32

Well an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar together and order a drink. The drinks they got were not acceptable and the behaviour of the other members of the bar (and in some cases even the bar tender) were rude, annoying and insulted the men. They decided to leave the bar and go and report the incident to ther proper authorities and let them take a course of disiplinary action. Harassment is not acceptable anywhere!

Name: Anonymous 2008-01-26 21:03

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

flowers

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-07 0:22

Good night

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-07 1:32

Clean jokes CAN'T be funny.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-07 1:44

>>40
Eh!

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-07 12:25

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-07 17:35

ITT newfags don't `get' RedCream

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-07 18:14

ITT RedCream 'gets' the fuck out

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