Only in America

ONLY IN AMERICA
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.

tl; dr

>>1
Ahh...not only in America, dood.

Except for the White House thingy.

I will now debunk this faggot who hates America. And don't say "I don't hate America, I'm just pointing out funny shit" because it's not funny and no one wants to hear you bitch. It sounds like you're saying there are greater places than America and fuck that because there isn't.

1. That's because pizza places are located closer to suburbs and hospitals are located in like downtown or usually far away. So if you used some common sense you'd realize that living farther away means that there is gonna be a longer drive involved.

2. Maybe that's because people in America are considerate. Even though people in wheelchairs can't skate they DO have friends that CAN. Oh no! But that's inconceivable! Handicaped people don't have friends! Prick...

3. You make it sound like it's a fuckin marathon. "They have to walk ALL the way to the back." Shut the fuck up it's only like an extra 20-25 steps and that's just so people can't bum rush the store and steal all types of medicines because chances are if you start running from the entrance all the way to the back someone's gonna stop you. If the medicine was in front like you'd want it to be people could just sneak in and take everyone by surprise and rob them in like 10 seconds.

4. Maybe some people like the taste of diet coke faggot. Just because some people drink diet coke doesn't necessarily mean they are on a diet.

5. I don't even know what the fuck that is supposed to mean. Doors are open so you could let people in and pens are chained to the counters because of the number of people that use them in transactions. If they weren't chained down people would keep walking off with the pens every single 5 minutes you'd hear "may i have a pen? may i have a pen?" so much you'd wanna go on a killing spree after the next person asked for a fuckin pen. We all don't carry pens in our pockets with pocket protectors bitch.

6. Now you're assuming that everyone has a garage and chooses to keep their car on the streets. I beg you to show me 1 person WITH a garage and CHOOSES to keep it out on the street. I beg it of you! Please show me that! Please so I could smack the shit out of that guy. Until then I'd settle for smacking the guy that came up with that assumption.

7. Oh but of course. Every call on call waiting is one to be ignored because everyone in America is an idiot and chooses to be bothered by the people they hate the most. Then knowing that the people we hate called and that we had the option to talking to them but didn't sends us running to the bathroom for a heated masterbation session. BUT OF COURSE!

8. Those weiners in packs of ten aren't meant JUST FOR hot dogs. There isn't anyone that said "these weiners are ONLY meant to be on buns but being that we're idiots we're gonna make 10 weiners for 8 buns." People use them for other things and in your case you'd probably just wanna use those extra two weiners to shove up your gaping outstretched asshole made so by your countless homoerotic escapades.

9. I'm sorry what does Britain call it. I can't seem to think of the word here....It's escaping me for some reason. Your genius seems to have stumped me. Oh no....wait...wait... IT'S POLITICS! Everyone else calls it politics too dumb shit and not "Only in America".

10. Yes of course because an automatic side effect of being blind is that the doctors have to chop off your limbs as well. There is no way that blind people can use their hands and stretch out from the back seat and read the Braille lettering. A little irrational? Yes. But inconsiderate? No. So excuse America for having the heart that you seemed to have lost in your eternity in hell.

11. To be honest I'd rather have a the combat veteran fight in the war than the man who is going to be elected for president. Just because he's a veteran doesn't mean that he did anything courageous or contributional to the war effort. He could have been just a scared guy that hid while his buddies did and when he comes home he wants everyone to act like they owe him something. He wants the recognition for going to the war but not any of the work to deserve the recognition. Otherwise he wouldn't be a homeless guy begging for money. Nobody owes anyone jack shit and they do it because they decide to. The draft dodger may not be the best president but if the people elected him then he has to have at least some qualifications.

I don't know why I'm even wasting my time with this chump
>>1 ain't even on my level
I'm going to let my little homies
Ride on yah
Bitch made ass Bad Boys bitches
{ahh yo, yo, hold the fuck up}

Get out the way yo
Get out the way yo
>>1 just got dropped
Little move pass the mac
And let me hit 'em in his back
Frank White needs to get spanked right
For setting up traps
Little accident murderers
And I ain't never heard of yah
Poise less gats attack when I'm serving yah
Spank the shank
Your whole style when I gank
Gaurd your rank
Cause I'm a slam your ass in a pang
Puffy weaker than a fuckin' block
I'm running through nigga
And I'm smoking >>1
In front of yah nigga
With the ready power
Tucked in my Guess
Under my Eddie Bower
Your clout petty sour
I push packages ever hour
I hit 'em up

>>4

"It sounds like you're saying there are greater places than America and fuck that because there isn't."

I believe the correct grammar for the last word in your sentence should be "aren't". PWN3D

1: "That's because pizza places are located closer to suburbs"

Yes, all pizza places are located in the suburbs. No pizza restaurants are located in downtown...EVER! I must be clinically insane because I thought I've been getting my pizza from a restaurant close to my apartment I live in DOWNTOWN. PWN3D

2: Way to make me look like some evil prick; you fucking prick!
You are the AMERICAN who invades the Middle East you George Bush fellatio FAGGOT! PWN3D

And as for your Tupac Shakur song; It was retarded just like your dog. Go back to sex him up you FURRY FAGGOT! PWN3D

I expect the content of my rebuttal to sound STUPID because I just want to show you how FUCKING STUPID YOU SOUND spending all that time writing it. PWN3D

what's tl; dr mean?

>>6 Fails.

too long; didn't read.

>>4

Good job.

America sucks 'cause it's filled with kikes, niggers, spics and the trash of the white race.

Basically America is just one big shithole for all the scum of mankind.

>>8
tru dat

>>4

1-Except ambulances don't come FROM hospitals in every circumstance.  There are many 3rd party companies who simply send their ambulances out into patrols like cop cars, or have garages located near suburbs.  Failed.

2-Uhmm...yeah.  You know what?  You may want to have that stick surgically removed from your ass.

3-You idiot.  Do you even know WHY stores keep the pharmacy in the back?  It's to keep those customers from simply walking in and out.  They HAVE to walk by all the products for sale, enticing them to buy.  People out on smoke runs usually are also out to get other stuff, too.  Plus, keeping cigaretts near the front makes it easier to keep an eye on them, since people WILL steal them if they feel they can get away with it.

4-Have you ever TASTED a Diet Coke from a fast-food fountain.  Eww.

5-You are SUCH a moron for not even understanding this.  Banks invite customers in with one hand, and tell them they do not trust those same customers with the other.  Duh.

6-Again, you are a dipshit.  Have you ever heard of people using their garage for storage?  No?  Then get your head out of the sand and listen-up:  Many people use their garages as storage units, and keep their cars in the driveway due to a lack of space.

7-Captain Oblivious strikes again!  You know, I'm gonna stop bothering to point out what kind of an idiot you are.  My fingers are starting to cramp from all the typing.

8-Oh God...you cannot be serious...I am so hoping you are jesting...

9-Missed the pun, or just trying in vain to be funny?  YOU DECIDE.

10-And he misses the REAL reason why there is braile on drive-up ATM's.  Go back to school, child.

11-Captain Oblivious strikes once more!

Afterwards: tl;dr.

>>8
I thought that was Mos Eisley...?

>>11
What?

>>12
...Watch Star Wars again, n00b.

>>13
Star wars? lol!!! Only loser virgins watch that rubbish.

Seriously, fuck America! I'm so sick of all the greedy, litigious, neurotic sociopaths we have here.

>>4
Tupac is dead, but that doesn't mean you can take credit for his rhymes.

>>16
Junior Mafia/Tupac*

Only in america...............people talk about shit,
and think its important.  that no one cares about.

>>18
No, they do that in France, too.

yeah but not everyone understands french

Hi I'm >>10 and when I can't come up with reasons for a rebuttal I stoop so low as to calling someone an idiot and yet further refuse to explain why so such as in reasons 2 and then later 7-10. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about and when I get my ass handed to me because I make stupid dumb shit remarks I get mad! I hope someone somewhere can teach me to think before I speak but that can't happen anytime soon until I'm able to chew and swallow at the same time. Until then I sure hope people can find it in their hearts to not knock my ass out whenever I open my mouth and a stream of shit comes flying out.

Okay you got me on the 1st reason and I'll admit that. I didn't take 3rd parties into consideration. So go ahead and get in your celebratory masterbation act in and then sit down while I explain to you why you the Mods should delete your post because anyone reading it is surely going to drop 10 IQ points.

Reason 2: Didn't think up of shit because I'm right so I'm supposed to shove a stick up my ass? I'll argue against your logic when there is actually some sense in your arguement.

Reason 3: Having the expensive medical products in the back so there is a near zero chance of them getting stolen ISN'T ANY reason at ALL to have them in the back. OH NO! Companies would much rather have a customer stroll through a store and buy a 5 dollar shampoo bottle than protect the thousands of dollars of medicine in the back. You have a point and I have a point but my point is more economically sound and something a guy running a business might think about. Something you will never have to worry about when your flipping burgers and trying DESPERATELY to get that half retarded girl who works with you to sleep with you.

Reason 4: Your opinion only and my "people drink what they like" saying is better. You're wrong.

Reason 5: I'm a moron for not putting together that just because a door is open that means that the store automaically is placing trust in the consumer? Everyone is trying to fuck everyone over open your fucking eyes. Companies fuck people with prices and banks fuck people with their money there isn't any trust involved. In your rationale that could be applied to any store because they too have their doors open and yet have security cameras watching them. So in essence they too are "inviting them in with one hand and telling them they don't trust them with the other." That tumor in your head is seriously impairing your thinking but I expect that to be gone once you save enough money from pimping out your mother and sister.

Reason 6: SHOW me one person who does that! SHOW me please!! If anything a car is the first thing to go in the garage and the only person to think to be a 100 dollar lawnmower and some fucking boxes instead of a 5 - 30 thousand car is a fucking idiot. The only person they should blame then is themselves for acting as an idiot but the majority of people don't do this. You are not in the majority because you are in inbreed piece of shit whose car probably costs as much as the 100 dollar lawnmower. Again your logic is anything but.

Reasons 7 - 11: I'm not gonna bothering arguing against because you are such an idiot that you failed to complete your thought. This basically sums it up: "You should know what it means and if you don't you're an idiot." Which basically translates to "I don't agree with your argument but seeing as I lost half my brain in that 'put a firecracker in my mouth and see what happens' accident, I don't know how to argue against that. I know! If I make you think that I know what I'm talking about you will feel bad for not knowing!" Listen either know what you're talking about or shut the fuck up and don't go around calling people idiots when you just proved to me that half your brain did indeed detiorate when your mother smoked crack when she had you.

 

   

>>5
Your rebutal sounded stupid because it came from a stupid person it's as simple as that. But when a stupid person says something stupid and KNOWS that it's stupid well that's just plain retarded. You can't just throw out some 'PWN3D' and some half assed thoughts that you came up while laying in bed trying to think of anything to shut out the screams of the mailman fucking your mom to pieces and expect to convince anyone. Though I find it oddly disturbing you think of me when the mailman is in there fucking your mom.....

Anyways, I'll just leave you with this. Don't be a grammar nazi, not just 1 American decided to invade the Middle East and many didn't even want to, tupac pwns, and you're retarded. I didn't think you would take my pizza places are closer to suburbs too literally but you did and that was my mistake. So go ahead gloat and gleam because this is the only situation in your life when you will be right about anything. Enjoy it while you can because what follows if a lifetime of "I'm calling the cops" "I'm getting a restraining order" "I want a divorce" "You're fired" and "I'm sorry son....it seems you have E.D.".

>>21
>>22
typed that while fucking his dog.
hey you're pretty coordinated to be fucking a dog and typing on a forum at the same time.

Seriously, fuck America! I'm so sick of all the greedy, litigious, neurotic sociopaths we have here.

Capitalism is sooooo Roman and Greek and stuff (old) and everyone in Europe has gone out of their way to say, "YOu can still be pretty rich".

You should have seen the stuffy cars in Norway, and they're Socialist. I don't like to see nice folks worried and bending over backwards.

The whole thing is stupid and nothing radical will happen with Man since Man is Man and always needs the same things. Time to grow up.

>>23
No see you got that the other way around. I wasn't fucking my dog. I was fucking your sister doggie style while in your room  and typing out posts >>21 and >>22. I could see how you could confuse the two. Word of caution: Don't forget to change the sheets and hiding your double edged rectal stimulater under your bed isn't the most original or secretive place to hide it for that matter.

Only in America...can you go to Checkers and order a simple cheeze burger (Bun,Meat,Cheeze,Ketchup,Mustard,Pickles) and the employees look at you like you're from fucking Jupiter.

damn niggers working at my local checkers act like they're hired fresh off the back of the short bus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU
lol america

>>28
At least that one guy has an Iroc Z.

>>28
This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by British Broadcasting Corporation

tl;dr
BUMP