Only in America

ONLY IN AMERICA
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.

>>4

1-Except ambulances don't come FROM hospitals in every circumstance.  There are many 3rd party companies who simply send their ambulances out into patrols like cop cars, or have garages located near suburbs.  Failed.

2-Uhmm...yeah.  You know what?  You may want to have that stick surgically removed from your ass.

3-You idiot.  Do you even know WHY stores keep the pharmacy in the back?  It's to keep those customers from simply walking in and out.  They HAVE to walk by all the products for sale, enticing them to buy.  People out on smoke runs usually are also out to get other stuff, too.  Plus, keeping cigaretts near the front makes it easier to keep an eye on them, since people WILL steal them if they feel they can get away with it.

4-Have you ever TASTED a Diet Coke from a fast-food fountain.  Eww.

5-You are SUCH a moron for not even understanding this.  Banks invite customers in with one hand, and tell them they do not trust those same customers with the other.  Duh.

6-Again, you are a dipshit.  Have you ever heard of people using their garage for storage?  No?  Then get your head out of the sand and listen-up:  Many people use their garages as storage units, and keep their cars in the driveway due to a lack of space.

7-Captain Oblivious strikes again!  You know, I'm gonna stop bothering to point out what kind of an idiot you are.  My fingers are starting to cramp from all the typing.

8-Oh God...you cannot be serious...I am so hoping you are jesting...

9-Missed the pun, or just trying in vain to be funny?  YOU DECIDE.

10-And he misses the REAL reason why there is braile on drive-up ATM's.  Go back to school, child.

11-Captain Oblivious strikes once more!

Afterwards: tl;dr.