Only in America

ONLY IN AMERICA
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.

I will now debunk this faggot who hates America. And don't say "I don't hate America, I'm just pointing out funny shit" because it's not funny and no one wants to hear you bitch. It sounds like you're saying there are greater places than America and fuck that because there isn't.

1. That's because pizza places are located closer to suburbs and hospitals are located in like downtown or usually far away. So if you used some common sense you'd realize that living farther away means that there is gonna be a longer drive involved.

2. Maybe that's because people in America are considerate. Even though people in wheelchairs can't skate they DO have friends that CAN. Oh no! But that's inconceivable! Handicaped people don't have friends! Prick...

3. You make it sound like it's a fuckin marathon. "They have to walk ALL the way to the back." Shut the fuck up it's only like an extra 20-25 steps and that's just so people can't bum rush the store and steal all types of medicines because chances are if you start running from the entrance all the way to the back someone's gonna stop you. If the medicine was in front like you'd want it to be people could just sneak in and take everyone by surprise and rob them in like 10 seconds.

4. Maybe some people like the taste of diet coke faggot. Just because some people drink diet coke doesn't necessarily mean they are on a diet.

5. I don't even know what the fuck that is supposed to mean. Doors are open so you could let people in and pens are chained to the counters because of the number of people that use them in transactions. If they weren't chained down people would keep walking off with the pens every single 5 minutes you'd hear "may i have a pen? may i have a pen?" so much you'd wanna go on a killing spree after the next person asked for a fuckin pen. We all don't carry pens in our pockets with pocket protectors bitch.

6. Now you're assuming that everyone has a garage and chooses to keep their car on the streets. I beg you to show me 1 person WITH a garage and CHOOSES to keep it out on the street. I beg it of you! Please show me that! Please so I could smack the shit out of that guy. Until then I'd settle for smacking the guy that came up with that assumption.

7. Oh but of course. Every call on call waiting is one to be ignored because everyone in America is an idiot and chooses to be bothered by the people they hate the most. Then knowing that the people we hate called and that we had the option to talking to them but didn't sends us running to the bathroom for a heated masterbation session. BUT OF COURSE!

8. Those weiners in packs of ten aren't meant JUST FOR hot dogs. There isn't anyone that said "these weiners are ONLY meant to be on buns but being that we're idiots we're gonna make 10 weiners for 8 buns." People use them for other things and in your case you'd probably just wanna use those extra two weiners to shove up your gaping outstretched asshole made so by your countless homoerotic escapades.

9. I'm sorry what does Britain call it. I can't seem to think of the word here....It's escaping me for some reason. Your genius seems to have stumped me. Oh no....wait...wait... IT'S POLITICS! Everyone else calls it politics too dumb shit and not "Only in America".

10. Yes of course because an automatic side effect of being blind is that the doctors have to chop off your limbs as well. There is no way that blind people can use their hands and stretch out from the back seat and read the Braille lettering. A little irrational? Yes. But inconsiderate? No. So excuse America for having the heart that you seemed to have lost in your eternity in hell.

11. To be honest I'd rather have a the combat veteran fight in the war than the man who is going to be elected for president. Just because he's a veteran doesn't mean that he did anything courageous or contributional to the war effort. He could have been just a scared guy that hid while his buddies did and when he comes home he wants everyone to act like they owe him something. He wants the recognition for going to the war but not any of the work to deserve the recognition. Otherwise he wouldn't be a homeless guy begging for money. Nobody owes anyone jack shit and they do it because they decide to. The draft dodger may not be the best president but if the people elected him then he has to have at least some qualifications.

I don't know why I'm even wasting my time with this chump
>>1 ain't even on my level
I'm going to let my little homies
Ride on yah
Bitch made ass Bad Boys bitches
{ahh yo, yo, hold the fuck up}

Get out the way yo
Get out the way yo
>>1 just got dropped
Little move pass the mac
And let me hit 'em in his back
Frank White needs to get spanked right
For setting up traps
Little accident murderers
And I ain't never heard of yah
Poise less gats attack when I'm serving yah
Spank the shank
Your whole style when I gank
Gaurd your rank
Cause I'm a slam your ass in a pang
Puffy weaker than a fuckin' block
I'm running through nigga
And I'm smoking >>1
In front of yah nigga
With the ready power
Tucked in my Guess
Under my Eddie Bower
Your clout petty sour
I push packages ever hour
I hit 'em up