Quickest and most sure way to die?

Quick explaination of the situation. Very poor health since I was a kid, can't even manage school (I'm an adult now though). Hardly able to work or support myself. I might as well be crippled. Got involved with someone who got me through the years and I find out she's been raped several times and ended up pregnant. My family sucked ass and now hers is going to be like that. She has no more fight left in her to make something of her life.

I've considered my options logically and emotionally for the past few years. I think it would be best if I went to where she is and made sure they didn't do any more to her, but here's the problem. They'll likely kill me for getting involved. Which of course in my situation isn't all that worrysome, she'll at leats know someone stood up to them for her. But I'm still scared of how they're going to do it. Let's just call them violent people who you don't want to mess with. So I want to know what there is I can use to ensure I have a quick death when they come to get me. Like pills or whatever.

Yeah I know how stupid this sounds, but I figure 4chan's a good place to go for advice on insanely stupid situations. Such as this one. Remember I'm useless to society this way, I can't support myself. I've been trying for years, I don't like relying on the help of others. So before I'm stabbed to death by a gang, what can I bring with me, since it'll involve travelling. Any homemade chemicals or something?

TL;DR Best/quickest way to die quickly with no chance of being "saved"?

Decapitation?

Go to Iraq!

>>2
By lightsaber.

>>1
You chicken-shit. What's the point of going to save this woman if the only thing you're going to do when you get into trouble is suicide? You didn't help her at all! You just made her witness your violent, crappy death, and she'll hate you for being such a pussy.

Die like a man, and try to get her to a safe place or something!

Move to america.

That place is filled with violent savages.

>>6
lol troll

>>1
Put on a KKK hood and go to central Harlem, or the equivalent.  You'll be dead in the blink of an eye, those niggers sure are violent.

Oh, I now read the post.

1) Kill them before they kill you.
2) If you have to die, set up a big ass bomb to take you all out.

>>1
Oh yeah, and you'll really want them to kill you, because otherwise they won't be prosecuted and raped anally by Bubba for the rest of their lives.

why dont you just join the army?

No, join Al Qa-eda!

>>10
Damn I wish I had now. I'd know a lot more if I was a soldier or something. Or >>11 sounds good too. They come with bombs strapped to them, right? That'd certainly be handy for me. Too bad I can't get my hands on a gun or take one with me where I go.
>>5
I know it's throwing away my life, but I really don't have much to live for, considering my health and money situation. I basically do nothing but drag my friends and family down because of being so helpless. I've had to drop out of school and college a few times.

I know how idiotic it sounds, I've been going over ways to help myself and her for the past 3 years. If I can get in their face and tell them off they might leave her alone. And if she knows I stood up for her and I disappear she'll be able to admit they're dangerous like everyone tells her and stay away from them.

CRAAAAWWWWWWLLLLINGGGG IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

find someone who has morgellons and eat their scabs

1) get aids
2) get close to your victim
3) slit your throat and spray blood all over your victim
4) ???
5) profit

get really drunk and then eat lots of acetaminophen-containing pills (highly available over the counter). you'll die within seconds. honest.

>>16
I'll make a note of that, thanks. (it's weird saying thanks for that).
>>15
Or better yet, have gay sex and give them all aids! Because we all know gangs are always full of gay guys.

This is >>5.
Now >>8's suggestion is made of win and awesome. Go with what he said.

what ever you do make sure it shows up on the news. Implicate 4chan for bonus points.

Let's look at your options:
1. Noose.  The old traditional methods.  A favorite of medieval era and Abu Ghraib prisoners.  Just need a rope or torn bed sheet. Cause of death is usually cervical dislocation or suffication.

2. Seppuku. A favorite of Japanese culture.  Good for anyone who has lost honor.  Simply knife is all that is needed.  Cause of death is either major organ failure of excessive lost of blood.

3. Sleeping pill overdose.  Favorite of celebrities and models.  Not particularly effective since hospital intervention can usually save these people.

4. Slashing of wrist.  Favorite of weak suicidal females.  Bloody and slow.   Most practishioner usually get scared and chicken out. 

5. Gun.  The american favorite.  With guns so prolific, a simply shot through the brain stem effectively and efficiently ends one's own life.

Here it is, all the common methods of suicide.  I hope you found the guide useful.  Let us know if you choose any of the fore-mentioned methods. :D

>>17
Following >>16 is more likely to cause a very slow and very painfull death.

>>20
Most sleeping pills won't kill you alone, especially not the benzodiazepine ones which are the most commonly prescribed these days. Slashing wrists doesn't work. Gun is a definite winner. Fast, painless and very unlikely to fail. A shotgun is preferable but a powerful handgun will work too

>>20
1.  Can (and does) go wrong too easily, in which case incredible pain and paraplegia etc. instead of death
2.  Again, Incredibly painful way to die, and unless you have a second handy to decapitate you, can take a long time to die
3.  My sister's a nurse, and you just wouldn't believe the number of idiots who try this and fail, but damage themselves irreparably instead.  Only an option for the stupid.
4.  No further comment
5.  Not as easily done as you might think, quite often results in brain damage, shattered jaw etc. without doing the job.  Only sure way is to get someone else to do it to you.


>>1  If you really want suggestions, then google it - there are even newsgoups out there for suiciders.

Don't forget bridge jumping and self immolation.  Great ways to get attention and your name in the newspaper.

Ever see the movie 'Taxi Driver'? Do what Robert De Niro did in that movie and blast the bad guys away. If you go down then you succede at that, but if you live you accomplished something and everyone will appreciate it. And you'll have a gun, so you can always suicide when you are done.

  Choke yourself.

>>24

If you think you're going to die anyway at the hands of someone else, screw them as much as they can. Kill them or cripple them, no pity for the wanton killer. Their buddies probably won't understand it, but at least there'll be one fucker less on the face of this already defiled planet. So I'd say get the most lethal thing you can handle and cripple/kill/injure as many of them as you can. Perhaps it sounds too extreme, but what about suicide bombing? In the middle east it works wonders. If they corner you and you activate a motherfucking bomb, they're all gone.

On the other hand: if you can manage to get her out of there... Do so, fast. And nother thing, will she be able to withstand your death? Because if you suicide to kill the ones who fucked her life, but she suicides in turn... perhaps it's pointless?

~Psiweapon

>>26
you don't need to sign all your posts you attention whore, the name field is enough

take out rapers with a gun
feel good.
shot yourself and die with a smile.

>>12
what? she's with these guys by choice cos she doesnt believe how dangerous they are, despite the rapings?
why throw yourself away for someone so obviously retarded

>>1

Just ask yourself -- What Would Jeffrey Beaumont Do?

>>1

TAKE IT UP THE ASS BY GEORGE ZIMMER

LMAO

HI. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE.  LOVE IS IDEALISTIC BULLSHIT, AS THE PANCAKES ARE OF LEMON FLAVORING AND I HOLD A LARGE CARROT, WHICH I STAB IDIOTS WITH IN THE EYE AND IT FORCES THEIR HEADS TO CATCH FIRE. BUT IN A WORLD FULL OF PEDOPHILES, ONE THING IS CERTAIN-THAT YOU WILL CUT YOURSELF AND DIE, EMOFAG. YOU'RE GONNA GET RAPED. I GUARANTEE IT.

>>1
Come right out and say it. Your friend is an IBO in the Quixtar family.

Go Columbine

why dont you just steal her into the night, leave a note with her signature on it saying what you're doing (so they know it's not a kidnapping) and leave the state.

Lean off the edge of a building, holding on to something so you dont fall, then sedate yourself

>>36
I like that idea.
And all the ideas of taking the bitches with you.
No matter what you do, get it on film and make sure someone posts it on the interw3b.

>>1
If you're gonig to die, grab a weapon, kill them, then kill yourself, problem solved rite

>>1
Very poor health since I was a kid, can't even manage school (I'm an adult now though). Hardly able to work or support myself. I might as well be crippled.

Are you Brian Peppers?

gun

Go on a kamikaze mission to kill the president.

>>19
Before I read past this one, I should say some things that need saying. First: ZOMG I almost forgot! How could I?! 4chan will have to be mentioned in the news of course. Especially if they leave my body in a mangled mess after they're done with me.  (I'd post pictures too but that will be kind of hard considering I want a quick death, "Here, would you guys mind taking some pictures?"). And secondly, wow, I come back here  and there's 40 replies? This should be a somewhat disturbing and yet fun read as I laugh about how completely fucked my situation is.

And yes, I am joking about making 4chan out to be a bad guy. Where else could I have fun talking about such messed up shit? Might as well get a laugh out of it. I can't possibly give a shit after I'm gone.

Okay now for the fun.
>>39 I am not Brian Peppers. I heard that guy sucks even more than I do. I think he even sucks balls he's that bad. Heh.

>>Suggestions to save her:
I've known other girls like her. They protect the guys who beat them. One of my closest friends lost her baby by a beating. She ended up in the hospital from head wounds too and she still went back to him. For a while anyways. But I read stories she wrote about her abuse and holy motherfucking-- It's messed up. When a woman is abused badly enough she believes it's all she can have. I saw it firsthand in my own family and from friends and friends of friends. Gangs, drugs, these kind of people, it's nasty shit. Friends got shot, one's dead, some disappeared and were never heard from since, one got framed and sent to jail and finally acquitted.

>>Take em down with me:
Again, not really an option if I want her to see what's going on. If I go out with a bang so to speak she might somehow get confused and think I'm the badguy or some shit. Believe me though, I considered that at the very beginning. The thought of revenge seemed like a good idea at first, but it won't help the situation. There's plenty more shitheads who would go after a woman like her.

>>Numbered suggestions:
I figured sleeping pills were good if you were away from people. Same with a rope. Thing is I don't assume I'll have time. I'll probably cower in fear like a little girl for the first few hours/days when it happens and wait for a bang on my door. It's really going to suck. And even if I get far enough away I've been warned by everyone I talk to that they have ways of finding people. And getting around the fucking cops too. It's hard to believe it happens in Canada and the UK. America I'd expect it, heh.

Thanks for the suggestions though guys. Maybe I should set up a camera in my hotel room or something. I don't know if I could convince my friend to post it on 4chan though, even if I did have a digital one. So much for that, eh?

>>43
I am not Brian Peppers.

Well, whatever.

Just makesure if you go down in a blaze of glory you don't forget to announce you are infact an internet warrior.

>>1
Here are some more options:
-Jump from some place really really high up.
-Run a tube from your car's exhaust up to the front window.  Make sure all the windows are closed, then just turn on the car, sit back and way for the delicious carbon monoxide to knock you out.  Completely painless.
-Slash your throat! (only attention whores slash wrists)
-Vest full of dynamite!  Might even come in hand if there's someone you want to take out with you.
-Drink bleach/turpintine.  Sleeping pills are too hard to swallow.

>>45
-Run a tube from your car's exhaust up to the front window.  Make sure all the windows are closed, then just turn on the car, sit back and way for the delicious carbon monoxide to knock you out.  Completely painless.

It doesn't really work that well with modern cars.

>>1
bring a gun with you to said situation. if you're about to get assjacked by those bastards, pop a few of them off and then stick one right square between your eyes. seriously, who cares what she thinks. it's not like you're gonna get laid or spend the rest of your life with her after you die.

in all honesty you should probably do something awesome with the life you have left, like try to jump between two really insanely tall buildings in your wheelchair on national tv. in the case that you don't fall to your death or slam into the side of a building, you'll be known nationally as "that fucking dumbass in the wheelchair."

think of the possibilities!  

Women tsk tsk wat they make you do. Kill them and kill her and they kill yourself atelast you may end up geting laied in the afterlife if there is one. If not Gl in the everlasting darkness.

RUN

WELL TODAY IS A SHITTY DAY FORM AS WELL THERES A GIRL I KNOW THAT WANTS TO DO THE SAME THING, KILL HERSELF. SHES BEAUTIFUL, BUT SHE THINKS SHE IS WORTHLESS, SAME THING CANT GO TO SCHOOL, FEELS HOPELESS. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE, DO IT. WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT IT, YOU GET OTHER PEOPLE TO FEEL FOR YOU AND THAT IS FUCKING MEAN, BECAUSE NOW YOUR HURTING YOURSELF THE GIRL, AND ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT STARTED CARING ABOUT YOU. IF YOU WANT TO GET THE MOTHER FUCKERS BACK AND WANT HER TO REALISE THAT YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, CALL ME UP IM A 5150 CRAZY PERSON TOO. LETS FUCK SOME PEOPLE UP. AND GO OUT LIKE HEROS AT LEAST
 

>>50
is it loli?

>>50
its no fun if you cant hear them talkin trash about you after the funeral ;)

You fucking asshole!  If you're going to kill yourself, take those worthless POSes with you!

Just strap explosives to yourself, and when they're standing around, about to jump you, just detonate them! 

Not only will you be an hero, but you'll be a hero as well!

>>53
Also, in case they're faster than you, make it be some sort of switch that you have to hold to keep from detonating, and test it to be sure that it'll work (get long lengths of wire and attach them to a blasting cap a few hundred feet away).

You may even try showing them the explosives, and scaring them the fuck away.  If they think you're crazy enough to blow yourself up, they might just do anything you say.  Even if it involves leaving the poor girl alone.

Close your garage door with your car inside, turn it on, and in about 10 minutes you'll be dead from the lack of oxygen. But, 9 minutes in, you'll realize suicide is a long-term solution to some temporary problems. Also, those who care about you, if anyone, will be devastated if you kill yourself. Don't be a selfish asshole. Also, this sounds like a cry for attention, even anonymously. If you just wanted to know a quick way to die you wouldn't include your life story and shit. I think you want sympathy and attention.

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.suicide.methods

have fun killing yourself, and enjoy your eternal peace

Old topic is oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold

..... strap on a bomb, hold an emo convention and take those wrist slitting chemical romance loving tranvestites to hell with you

boondock saints.  beat them all to death with a pool-ball.

and spray your blood with ammonia so the gay fbi agents can't catch you.

also il duce's.

Become an hero. I mean seriously, with a costume and everything. Like the Punisher. Take some like cyanide pills (or your homemade equivalent) with you in case you get beaten. Swoop in, shoot shit up, rescue the chick and escape to Canada, where nobody gets raped and the trees are made of chocolate.

>Swoopin, shoot shit up, rescue the chick and rape her.
fixed.

gb2/jail/ problem solved

If you want to die quick, try licking the third rail of a railway.

Wikipedia says:
A third rail is a method of providing electricity to power a railway, typically a mass transit or rapid transit system.
. . .
An unguarded electrified rail is a safety hazard, and some people have been killed by touching the rail or by stepping on it while attempting to cross the tracks

>>60 and escape to Canada
see
>>43 It's hard to believe it happens in Canada

>>1
>>12
>>37
>>42
>>43

These all sound like the same person. Tell me if I missed any.

To the OP, I would like to know the name of the condition that makes your body so fragile, at least in your opinion. My guess is on some kind of auto immune disorder. The one I suffered from is called Ulcerative Colitis.

The first time I was in the hospital for it they didn't realize how bad I was, so they sent me home on a diet that ended up making me bleed a lot...rectally. My GI tract has never been cleaner in its life than when that night took place.

I then proceeded to spend about 7 days in the hospital around people who didn't realize I was half dead, and were very reluctant to give me any kind of pain medication. If I wasn't awake when they came to give me any of the 10 or so medications I was on, then they'd simply skip it, and allow for my condition to worsen. And the icing on the cake was that they released me from the hospital against my family's wishes right after two blizzards made the roads treacherous and left my home without power for two days.

So I think I might know where you're coming from. I'm currently taking off a year because of surgery and needing my wounds to heal fully from having my colon removed before going back to college.

I'm interested in what you've said so far, and it seems like I'm not alone. I know this might sound harsh, but I don't think there's a way that you can save this woman, not even through your own death. I think it would be more comforting to her if you remained alive, if for nothing more than her not having to hear about the death of a well-loved childhood friend.

If there's some way you know of that you can talk to her without dealing with her abusers, then do so. That would be really helpful to the both of you. Also, if you can, you need to move on past the hell that is your childhood. Look forward to the future more than the past. Use the past only as a tool to avoid repeating mistakes in the future. I have found that it is very difficult to even start doing this without someone you love by your side helping you along. Therefore, I know that I really don't have the right to expect you to do something like this fully in the near future. It took me years to start doing it on my own, and the process got sped up when I met my boyfriend.

>>65
I think you missed that this topic is 5 months old. If he was serious about this, he's long dead by now.


...Or permanantly disabled from fucking up.

>>65
Also, yes, those are all the same person/OP, except for >>37. Whether you missed any though, I'm too lazy to bother checking.

BOOM HEADSHOT

>>66

Yeah, I was too lazy to check the date, but I figured from one of the later posts that it was old. >>57  Was the post that clued me in. I guess I was just really interested and wanted to see if anything else would happen. It really is a nice opening to a discussion topic.

And if he his long dead by now, what a legacy to leave behind, huh? That people are talking about you long after your death. Though I would think of him as a total asshole for doing that to so many people that are complete strangers to him.

i post, but do not think about OP. i'm sorry i dun give a shit.

I think that people that think to much as myself think of these things  every day and in 3 different ways. hanging , throat slash , and wrists,and my opinion It will work if you have the right thing and patience.

>>39

I lol'd at this shit.

To the thread creator: Just jump off a skyscraper. Fast, painless, and a good adrenaline rush. :D

Be at ground zero of someone else's nucular explosion :D

Anyhow, I don't recommend suiciding unless you're up against a terminal illness that leaves you with little freedom or little chance to be productive or little chance to enjoy things. Just my tuppence.

Come to think of it, jumping in front of oncoming trains is also a way to get killed...

>>1,1,1,1,1,1,

So, did you die already?

>>74
It not necessarily quick and painless though

>>76
Works for them suicidal bugs....

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy