Who here has been single all their life.

（´Д｀;;) i get really nervous around girls for some reason, especially when i like them. Is it game over for me?

What I'm about to suggest is a high-level technique.  It's unorthodox and, if the girl finds out, all bets are off (unless you're in the late stages).

Economic exchange.  Equivalent trade.  If you propose the logic, with the phrase "it's a fair deal," you can work the situation to your advantage.

"If you help me with this Biweekly Cash Flow report on Saturday, I'll treat you to dinner.  I choose the place, you choose the day and time.  Fair deal, right?"

If she declines, do not attempt to rebound.  Instead, work another angle.

"So you're not free Saturday?  Alright.  But this meeting in an hour is gonna be a long one.  How about coffee?  I paid the tab last time, you spot it today."

The plan is to force them into a situational crux in which they are presented with a mutually enjoyable event with seemingly no strings attached.  The first proposal exploits a psychological phenonmenon in which if a person commits an act for another, self-monitoring suggest a higher affinity with the cause, thus making her think she likes you more than she actually does, but this is soon shifted as it is a self-fulfilled prophecy.

The second proposal exploits the converse effect, wherein a large and unreasonable plea is contrasted with a lesser one, which is then perceived as far less threatening.

Additionally, make her work for everything.  This affirms a social ranking by implicating that you two are equals.  At no time should you let your speech, body language, attire, or appearance suggest you are lower (even if you are).  Now, this is the trick.  You've got to throw in a few freebies here and there.  More and more as you get along.  Eventually small favors become a given.  You can usually measure this with her smile.  Make sure you check her pattern, like tell a really funny joke or show her something cute once or twice as a metrestick if you don't have experience.  Look for grin movement speed, eye tenseness, compactness of cheeks, etc.  Compliments:  make sure you drop them few and far between.  Make sure they count.  Analyze every word before letting it loose.  Now, be sure to compliment her on a day she did NOT make any effort (casual day, she just woke up and feels like shit, didn't have time for makeup this morning, etc).  This assures her baseline security.  However, do not do this often.  This will implicate that you will take her vanilla, which they interpret as you being lower on the social ranking.  Again, exercise discretion.

One last tip:  don't drop smiles all over the place.  They like their men happy, but if you make it elusive, she will try to determine what makes you smile.  Be a jerk.  Sarcasm and cynicism go a long way as long as you're not bitter with it.  At only mildly interested.  Make sure you forget her name the second time you meet her.  Make sure that after a while, you remember one very detailed fine point about her.  The contrast, it's all about the contrast.  Make sure you stand out from the competition (or potential competition).  Make sure you seed thoughts of the competition being inferior, naive, unadjusted, or incompatible.  As long as you sound like you know more than she does, she may not buy your statements, but they're now on her mind and her mind will subconsciously be looking for observations that fit your suggestion, which makes her believe it more, making you seem all the smarter (as long as you didn't say complete bull).  Again, exercise discretion.

Good luck world4ch!

People have suggested that if you want avoid all this friend labelling shit, you should stand your ground and say to her that you want her to be your gf or nothing at all.

Then that would be really be gambling it all. As much as we all could say "this girl aint worth my time", if the girl was really special to you, you'd want to be close to her whether be it just as a friend or ideally as a bf. And if you put such a statement to her "me as your bf or nothing at all", heck she won't care, she'd just say fine and be happy that she has less things to worry about.

Ahh How i yearn for the days when a man could own a women.

>>81
Sounds like a plan, but that's part of why I'm single and not looking. I'm tired of playing stupid run and catch games with girls. I don't want to have to work hard for love and be constantly tested - that's not really love - nor I'd do that to a girl I like, because well, if I like her, why would I be an ass and make it harder? That's why I lost interest in girls, their absolute lack of sincerity and childish behaviour disgust me beyond measure.

You've got to throw in a few freebies here and there.
Yeah, that's another thing I hate. It's not like I can't pay for stuff, in fact I would rank high in the money department (which is one of the stuff girls actually look for), but I don't want to BUY love. Love comes for free, or it's not love. The idea of having to pay for her stuff (which I'd otherwise gladly do without a problem) to be appreciated makes me sick; ugly bitches, get away from me. This is another case where today's society is so not-sexist, execept when girls want to.

tell a really funny joke
Lol, this can be very hard. They have an utterly stupid sense of humor. They only laugh at completely retarded, straightforward stuff. Anything that would make me laugh, they can't even understand within a minute.

Analyze every word before letting it loose.
Yet another thing that pisses me off. Why do I have to filter my words when I'm talking to them? WTF, if they don't like how I am, then it's over. Same for them, I want a girl that will behave how she really is and tell me anything as she thinks of it without filtering it through OMGICantTellHimThisBecauseHellThinkThisAndThat™.

Sarcasm and cynicism go a long way as long as you're not bitter with it.
Every time I tried to be sarcastic, they were confused and took it the wrong way. Every time I tried to be cynical, they got mad. I think they dislike it because they feel their little intelligence challenged.

This is humor:

Maddox humor > Standard smart humor > Casual humor > VIP Quality > Girls humor

>>82

I never said it wasn't a gamble in the first place.  Compatibility isn't deterministic, it's probabalistic at best.

>>84
It doesn't have to be material.  Such as:  say you had something important to do and couldn't help her with something.  But be there anyway and say "finished early, thought I'd drop by."  Say you won't get her something and do it anyway as a surprise.  Buying gifts is a special case of this suggestion.  Presence, attention, and treatment all work just as well.  But simply put, don't let them dictate how you act.  You are in control, you guide the direction.  Make sure they pay their half of the tab, and accidentally pay the whole thing on a whim once, vary it up.

Heh, you're chasing the wrong girls then.

Diplomacy.  What you say and what you meant can be interpreted very differently.  They have a way of using what you say against you.  Make sure you are in control of the direction of the conversation when making a statement.  Don't fall for trap questions.If your comments aren't kosher it could turn out ugly.

>>86
Heh, you're chasing the wrong girls then.
People says this, but then I ask, where are the good ones? My problem is I just hate how girls are. I hate this "social ladder" shit and having to forcefully, artificially boost my "social status" (whatever shit anything "social" is) against the girl I like; I hate them not being sincere, bold and direct like I am; I hate not being able to openly give the best of me for the girl I like; I hate being set tests and traps all the time by the one that's supposed to love me; I hate that the only thing girls seem to consider fun is getting drunk at a shitty pub with cancer stick smoke and unhealthy loud trash music; ...

I don't have one gay cell in me, but I can't stand girls' personality, so I'm pretty much fucked and bound to remain alone even though I'd like not to. Meh.

>>87

Again, wrong girls.  And if that's who you are that's who you are.  You don't like deception from either party and want things instantly rightout.  Some people can't deal with that type of personality.  Get over it.  It's probabilistic--you just have a lower probability with the population, but it doesn't mean you won't bag your mark eventually.

Where are the good ones?  Hiding behind a book, thinking exactly the same things you are.  Out of your range of sight and interaction.

Drunk, smokes, and loud?  Yeah, because they're trying to delabel themselves from the "princess" archetype.  Trying to disassociate themselves from "goody goody" people.

Let me describe myself so you know where I'm coming from.  I love screwing around with people.  I have fun everyday making up stories about how I got this scar and this scar (like I was in Spain this summer and got in a barfight with Beckham, but he paid for the hospital bill and now I've got his mobile number right here).  I objectify girls as simple-minded people with obvious motivations, inclinations, and attitudes.  I laugh at everything, I manage to find humor in almost any event.  I love to work out--not for looks or performance, but because of the buzz I get, it's so addictive.  The end result?  Sarcastic genius jock that plays with and throws away people regularly.  And surfs 4chan.  Once I stopped taking romance seriously it was a much happier lifestyle.  I concentrated on myself, and making every day very fun, productive, and rewarding.  All girls are very fun as long as you don't give a shit about romance--use them as ways to get in touch with more important people, a way to hook up a friend with a date if he's down, or a piece of ass if you're in the mood.  My contingency is that if I ever feel like I like the girl, I'll get closer, and when she asks to go the next step, decline and say "if you feel the same way in one year, I'll give it a shot."  Then let things go from there.

I think you're a bit too focused on a gung ho approach--complete honesty, complete dedication, complete transparency, etc.  A word of advice, which is my opinion, take it if you will:  Discretion, restraint, and moderation are key.  Going all in is a bold move, which, as an early encounter, suggests that you are dispositionally extreme on the average.  While I'm sure you're a perfectly normal human being, girls won't see it that way.  They'll see someone with a weird personality because, if the behavior is bold even to you, they will think this is the norm for you.  Fundamental Attribution Error, it's called.  If you really are extreme, you're just very picky with the population.  Good luck on that one.  lol

>>88
Where are the good ones?  Hiding behind a book, thinking exactly the same things you are.  Out of your range of sight and interaction.
That may be true.

Yeah, because they're trying to delabel themselves from the "princess" archetype.
Irony. They don't want to be the princess archetype, except for matters related to sex - where they'll hardly admit it if they like porn, for example. I, for one, seek exactly the opposite: a perverted princess.

Trying to disassociate themselves from "goody goody" people.
When did being "baddy bad" become better than being "goody good"? This world is seriously fucked up.

I laugh at everything, I manage to find humor in almost any event.
I do that too... Laughing is very healthy.

complete honesty, complete dedication, complete transparency, etc.  A word of advice, which is my opinion, take it if you will:  Discretion, restraint, and moderation are key.
Thanks for the advice. *Sigh*, I guess commitement and chivalry are not valued features today... And the main reason why I would want a girlfriend is to have somebody to commit to and give it all for :/ . I wish I had been born 500 years ago. But with computers.

>>89
>>I guess commitement and chivalry are not valued features today
It is valued among most modern girls. It is what they ULTIMATELY aim for when they are thinking of the long term (marriage etc).

But when marriage or long term commitment aint on their mind (and being so indecisive they can never make up their mind), they want something that will satisfy them the short term. And as most observe girls want the bad boy in the short term.

>>Discretion, restraint, and moderation are key
That is most true when approaching a girl. But comes down to each guy's personality. Like me I prefer to just lay all my cards on the table when the time comes. I am not gonna play the chasing game because its a waste of time because its just all leads to the same thing. Playing the guessing game just prolongs it. I want to be clear of my feelings and if its mutual, put my full dedication to her and be completely open with her. That I guess is ultimately what the definition of the nice guy is i suppose. Something that girl's find it depressing, a turn off, something below of them and not in fashion?

When you have met the girl that you have ultimately envisioned (not physically but personality) are you gonna lower your expectations?

I met a girl who would make the ultimate gf. Doesnt like to spend much money. Doesnt like ppl paying for her. Enjoys the simple stuff. She is open to all sort of stuff. Wild yet reserved. Doesn't like cliches as most girls do. And more and more. Heck I think she will be wild in bed. cos u always know the shy/quiet ones are always that. She keeps talking about sex, asking about sex, reading about sex yet when you show her the actual material, she cringe cos she still stuck in her catholic schoolgirl mode.

Yet I couldn't get as close to her and end up in her best friend pile. In fact I think i've ended up in "guy she wouldnt seriously be intimate even if I was the last guy on earth".

So I move on and try to find someone to top that. Now that is difficult. Maybe eventually will find someone but till then Im single.

I've been single for a while. Thats just cuz i wanna be. The last guy I dated was a clingy annoying bastard. He called me ever single day. once he called me 15 times in one day! then he always complained about how mean and uncaring i am. he wished i was like other girls. so i dumped him. the only reason he went out with me is cuz i'm short and cute >< i don't have time for a bastard who whined all the time.

well he was kinda right XD. i'm not like other girls. i don't even get along with girls.thats why i hang out with guys. i don't care about popularity and who has the best outfit. i'm smart, i'm addicted to anime i don't have any problems with porn, and i would rather spend my time playing video games in my underwear and eating junkfood. fuck gossiping who is the cutest boy and who goes out with who.

>>92
You sounded like a cool person until you got to the junk food part :D
No offense.

SO YOU ARE TYPICAL FAT AMERICAN OTAKU?!?!"?!?!?!?!11

>>92

I would date you if you wern't so fat, Raven-tan.

>>91

Just once.  Honest, yet kept confrontation to a minimum.  Strong-willed, independent, outgoing.  Cute, beautiful, hot, and adorable.  Extremely smart, nice bod, and a friend with everyone.  Her only downside was insecurity with a deep relationship.  Plus she has a big forehead.  >_>

In any case, I'd like to know more but she intentionally keeps me in the dark, hates gossiping about her love life (and subsequent lack thereof).  We're thousands of kilometres apart now, but that's fine.  She's put a hole in my bucket-like heart for life.  A hole I'll remember and cherish as we go our separate ways, probably never seeing each other face to face for the rest of our lives.  I hope she's getting enough sleep.

Girls want to be:
1) not defenseless - hence seeking a bf with badass characteristics
2) not a slut - hence trying to bottle up any sexual desire
3) special - they want attention, payments, gifts, exemptions, special treatment
4) accomplished - they DO NOT WANT COMPLETE DEDICATION from the get-go.  They want to win it over from men as a trophy of their worthiness as women.


500 years ago, the Renaissance was starting to go bull.  It was the age where every man tried to be multitalented, masters of everything, and jack-of-trades.  Compare that to 1500 years ago.  Human rights were just beginning to get established.  The age of Romance wasn't even infantile.  The world was dog-eat-dog competition, with the lower echelons of society taught to live and die with total devotion as to maximize their output for the better of the kingdom/duchy/domain/whatever.  When was the last time you heard of a ruler going all in?  Chivalry was something taught to justify the occupation--when in fact any of the ranked peoples were anything but altruists.

The world was never that way.  Going all in is a horrible idea in any era.

In the long run, women don't see their partners as lovers.  They are a family now.  The bonds are now familial more than romantic.  You want your family and friends to be loyal, honest, etc.

An alternative hypothesis is that economically speaking, they want a stable holding status.  They want successful husbands that give them room, but attention (so they feel justified in their self-image, rather than as an ignored old hag).  It's a complex critical point, but you get the idea.

They're no longer looking for the thrill of the hunt, they want to have a trophy to mount.

I think girls see themselves as warriors of romance.  They look for a challenge with great rewards, and guage their happiness with the magnitude of the reward and difficulty of the struggle to obtain it.  It's the yardstick to their worth.  Just like how we guys brag about winnings in poker, our alcohol tolerance, etc.

Romance is a safari to them.  They want to bag the big one, and the harder the fight, the better the experience.  But if the fight is too hard, or looks impossible in the beginning, they give up.  I think the analogy works.

>>97
girls as warriors of romance?? That would imply girls are the ones that do most of the legwork. Well unless you consider the following as their means to getting their guy
1. Looking good/pretty (dressing up etc etc)
2. Playing hard to get

I thin its the guys that are the ones that are warrios of romance. We always strive to find that really special girl. The more special you see her, the more you'd want her. And the amount of resources that we guys put it from
1. Time
2. Money
3. Committment (unless you were a player and was going after more than 1 girl all at the same time)
4. Your heart

I guess I am single because frankly all the girls I've met on a day to day basis from uni to parties are just not my type. Then of course when my type comes, she is either already taken or is the type that doesnt want any relationship yet. Thank god I havent fallen for a girl who turned out to be lesbian instead.

I had a close call once with this one girl because I found out that nearly all her friends were serious lesbians (because she plays womens football so you'd tend to find lesbians there). So I got so depressed because I was saying "Man how life loves to insult me with girls. First its all the girls I want are taken or unavailable, now the girl I really want is a lesbian??". Man, was I glad when it turned out to be not true. In the end though she didn't fall for me. She wanst the type that was looking for a relationship yet.

100get（ﾟ∀ﾟ）

>>75
You remind me very much of myself. I'm not certain that's a good thing.

>>76
If sitting idly by is all it takes to remain single, then why do harem series exist? Eh, either way, I'm just going to wait in the background; I never really liked people-- myself included-- anyway.

>>77
This seems pretty true, overall. It's like there is no happy medium or something along those lines.

>>78
WEE-A-BOO! WEE-A-BOO! (Sorry, reflex.)

>>84
Abso-fucking-lutely agreed. To hell with the chase, if that's the only way to find love, then dying a cynical, hermited virgin is starting to sound a LOT more appealing.

>>94
80~ pounds = fatass? Wow, the world really IS fucked in the head. Oh, and YOU WANT MIRRION DORRAH?!?!"?!?!?!?!11

>>99
Ah, such is life. At least you can take comfort in the fact that you've yet to fall for a girl who prefers cats to snakes, if y'know what I mean.

>>100
gb2/VIP/

I've noticed several of the posts in the last 40 echo my own line of thinking, for the larger part (except for the fact that I really prefer to keep quiet). Is this a bad sign?

>>101
>>If sitting idly by is all it takes to remain single, then why do harem series exist?

Because harem series are fictional? I mean yes there are guys who just don't need to lift a finger and he would have girls upon girls falling at his feet. But is he really attracting the actual kind of girls he want? If he is, well lucky him.

>>98

Self-perception, not analogous comparison.  Part of hunting is picking the locale, picking the mark, setting the trap, then going for the kill.  It's not like they put on armor and do bloody battle, as cool as that may sound...on paper.  I'm simply pointing out the fundamentals of the motivation.

And I totally disagree with the men fulfilling the role.  We are after something else completely.  We're in it to find completion.  To find purpose, justification, all that.  We look for a mate that will make our lives complete in one way or another.  It's a pretty self-centered hypothesis, but hey, it's what I've seen from our patterns of behavior.  We seek romance to stave off loneliness, to obtain greater happiness, to reaffirm our purpose.  We don't go out into the world trying to bag supermodels, the colder the better, then brag about how hard it was to get her to like you.  Well, if you're looking for a trophy wife yes you are.  But under normal circumstances, I think males and females work completely differently in turns of internal motivations, actual behaviors aside--the methodology is highly variable, but motivations seem to hold across cultural, age, and dispositional lines.

>>98

Self-perception, not analogous comparison.  Part of hunting is picking the locale, picking the mark, setting the trap, then going for the kill.  It's not like they put on armor and do bloody battle, as cool as that may sound...on paper.  I'm simply pointing out the fundamentals of the motivation.

And I totally disagree with the men fulfilling the role.  We are after something else completely.  We're in it to find completion.  To find purpose, justification, all that.  We look for a mate that will make our lives complete in one way or another.  It's a pretty self-centered hypothesis, but hey, it's what I've seen from our patterns of behavior.  We seek romance to stave off loneliness, to obtain greater happiness, to reaffirm our purpose.  We don't go out into the world trying to bag supermodels, the colder the better, then brag about how hard it was to get her to like you.  Well, if you're looking for a trophy wife yes you are.  But under normal circumstances, I think males and females work completely differently in turns of internal motivations, actual behaviors aside--the methodology is highly variable, but motivations seem to hold across cultural, age, and dispositional lines.

cont

In any case, I think you're way too touchy feely about this.  Thousands of studies have been done on the topic.  We can approach this topic from a psychological and sociological standpoint.  You assumed that your methodology was the same for most--if not all males (or at least was the average).  But as I have noted, the methodology is highly variable depending on individual circumstances.  In any case, I think you've broken the process down a bit too much, with inconsistent and immeasurable units.  How the hell do I measure my heart objectively?  Time, money, yes.  Commitment, I'd have to invent a measure.  But my heart?  That's not a valid measure.  In fact, the other three are a resultant of the last one's measure.  It's INVALID to measuring the hypothetical construct.

Sorry, I just don't see how your argument holds up against anything other than your own experience.

cont

In any case, I think you're way too touchy feely about this.  Thousands of studies have been done on the topic.  We can approach this topic from a psychological and sociological standpoint.  You assumed that your methodology was the same for most--if not all males (or at least was the average).  But as I have noted, the methodology is highly variable depending on individual circumstances.  In any case, I think you've broken the process down a bit too much, with inconsistent and immeasurable units.  How the hell do I measure my heart objectively?  Time, money, yes.  Commitment, I'd have to invent a measure.  But my heart?  That's not a valid measure.  In fact, the other three are a resultant of the last one's measure.  It's INVALID to measuring the hypothetical construct.

Sorry, I just don't see how your argument holds up against anything other than your own experience.

>>101
>Ah, such is life. At least you can take comfort in the fact that you've yet to fall for a girl who prefers cats to snakes, if y'know what I mean.

actually i dun get wat u mean (really). Explain?

>>107
Think about it for a second. I mean REALLY think about it.

If you still don't get it, read over >>99 one more time.

is anyone afraid of getting rejected? When you know that a girl likes you but your afraid of screwing it all up and reveal that your nothing like she expected you to be and end up hurting her feelings.

Yea i know you can just say well too bad that im not normal/or what she thought i was but i feel bad for her too :(.

so what exactly do you do when you know for sure that the girl is interested in you and it hits you like a brick, your happy but OH SHI- at the same time. 

is anyone afraid of getting rejected? When you know that a girl likes you but your afraid of screwing it all up and reveal that your nothing like she expected you to be, in the end hurting her feelings

Yea i know you can just say well too bad that im not normal/or what she thought i was but i feel bad for her too :(.

so what exactly do you do when you know for sure that the girl is interested in you and it hits you like a brick, your happy but OH SHI- at the same time. 

should i just forget about all this serious business and rely on ape like instincts?

>>101

I've noticed several of the posts in the last 40 echo my own line of thinking

That's because I'm >>75, >>77, >>84, and a few others ^_^


80~ pounds = fatass? Wow, the world really IS fucked in the head.

And I find myself agreeing with you here too. We're just alike.

Single men unite in fear conquering strategies. Is there no one here who was single till their 20's but then got laid?

>>112

Still 19, working on it.

I guess if they got laid they wouldn't be here.

I had sex, but I agree with >>101 and the rest

Heck its hard to find a decent girl when more girls are gettin bi-sexual or bi-curious. So not only have you need to compete with other guys after her, you have to contend with the other girls she might be interested in.

I can't go out with another girl.. I tried, everytime I go out with another girl despite how she feels about me...  I always have deep feeling with my friend who I known her for over 6 years..  I don't know how she feels about me or if she will ever think of me more than just a friend.  I'm not social, i'm always nervous, and I don't know how to tell her how I feel or even if I should..

>>117

if you've known her for six fucking years, she'd better realize it's understandable for you to feel that way about her.

girls are ridiculously complicated.

why do girls do that? i know a girl and she just wants to be friends even though we get along so well...

She told me once she loved having me just as a 'friend' and wanted it to keep that way.  bahh 

>>119

You don't excite her.