Who here has been single all their life.

（´Д｀;;) i get really nervous around girls for some reason, especially when i like them. Is it game over for me?

Truthfully, if I started with a girl, I would hope that she has been single all her life, just like I have been... or at least, have never had sex.

Probably becuase I belive in sex after marriage, and true love.

Ah~, I'm a hopeless romantic.

>>119
>>why do girls do that?

Because they can? There might be 101 reasons why she doesnt want to be closer to you. At least if she is willing to still be friends, well than at least you can still be close to her. Just means you just got to move on to another girl.

Don't hate the game, guys.  It's worked this way since the beginning of human history.  All that's changed are our values, language, and ways of expressing it.  If you can't deal with it, no action for you.  Is it really that tough to just accept it?  Whining about how unfair and immature women are won't change anything.

>>118
girls are ridiculously complicated.
You can say that again.

>>119
why do girls do that? i know a girl and she just wants to be friends even though we get along so well...
Because they're stupid. Refer (Google) for the ladder theory. You're in a different realm, and you shall not be a love interest because stupidity reigns in a girl's mind.

Besides, she wants to have someone to cry on his shoulder when that kewl guy (motherfucking drug addict jerk) hits or rapes her.

>>121
Probably becuase I belive in sex after marriage, and true love.
True love, alright. Sex after marriage? Why? If both are willing it's silly to wait, you're wasting fun.

>>122
There might be 101 reasons why she doesnt want to be closer to you.
Yes, and they are:

1. She's stupid
2. She's stupid
3. She's stupid
4. She's stupid
5. She's stupid
... (let's get 101 by she's stupid)

>>124
You can say that again.
Human nature in general is ridiculously complicated. This is the main reason that I have no friends... well, besides the fact that I'm a cynical, misanthropic asshole.

Because they're stupid. Refer (Google) for the ladder theory. You're in a different realm, and you shall not be a love interest because stupidity reigns in a girl's mind.
Ladder theory? Huh? Don't believe I've heard of it...

Besides, she wants to have someone to cry on his shoulder when that kewl guy (motherfucking drug addict jerk) hits or rapes her.
And that's when you tell her to get stuffed and find someone else's shoulder, right? I've never been in a situation like this (no friends, remember?), so I'm not quite clear on how it works.

True love, alright. Sex after marriage? Why? If both are willing it's silly to wait, you're wasting fun.
Agreed, but what if one or both AREN'T willing? How do you deal with that?

Yes, and they are:

1. She's stupid
2. She's stupid
3. She's stupid
4. She's stupid
5. She's stupid
... (let's get 101 by she's stupid)
... or she could just not want to get close to someone who is actually nice to her. Maybe she'd rather get treated like shit and know he means it rather than get intimate with someone who treats her right and risk getting screwed over anyhow.

So, in a way, you're not that far off.

>>123
Accept THAT bullshit? No thanks, I'd rather die as a cynical, hermited virgin.

>>112
Yeah, me. I grew up in a relatively small town where I didn't have much in common with the girls I met. Moved to a bigger place and everything changed.

To all of the single guys - don't worry too much. Try to meet new people regularly and be yourselves. It'll all work out in the end.

>>124
Ladder theory is misogynist bullshit. Girls really aren't that different from guys.

I don't think women want someone who will screw them over, but want alpha males.

>>128

Or you know, this whole social ladder thing?  Ya.  Sociology is a funny thing.  Get over it and deal.

Ladder theory imho assumes the girl is always looking for someone to sex up with and already has some sort of sex life already.

But how about situations where girls are still virgins? Or not as much as a slut?

I've always thought women find it more attractive if you appear as if you wouldn't really mind if you're rejected. I guess this is a little like assuming that you are getting it elsewhere or could get it elsewhere.

all i gotta say is being the nice guy sucks, its good in the end but.. for teenage years, oh boy it sucks

ok i wanna elaborate more on that,

since youre the nice guy, the girl will take advantage of you sorta like a side dish and will always come back crying to you

its like this thing on bash.org i read bout "you meet all the requirements for the job, but we wont hire you, instead we will hire someone who lacks in the position and contact you about them"

/rant

>>125
And that's when you tell her to get stuffed and find someone else's shoulder, right? I've never been in a situation like this (no friends, remember?), so I'm not quite clear on how it works.

No, that's when you're stupid and pat her, even though you shouldn't; even though she wouldn't do that for you. It eventually happens to all worthy guys. You seem like a worthy guy.


Agreed, but what if one or both AREN'T willing? How do you deal with that?
Three options:
- Neither of you: then don't have sex
- You not willing: WTF are you thinking!? Let's not waste this opportunity.
- She not willing: Try to convince her to, without forcing or anything, remember sex is for both of you to have fun. If she's still not willing, then you don't have sex


or she could just not want to get close to someone who is actually nice to her. Maybe she'd rather get treated like shit and know he means it rather than get intimate with someone who treats her right and risk getting screwed over anyhow.
Exactly. You seem to understand how a girl thinks. Told ya you were worth. Most people who start their posts with "I'm a cynical, misanthropic asshole" are worthy people who see this kind of thing, so I can't blame (but join) you.


>>126
Same here


>>127
Ladder theory is misogynist bullshit. Girls really aren't that different from guys.
No it's not. Most girls really are that stupid. I'm not sexist, I just state facts. In fact, I'd love to say "girls are equally as good", I'd really do, but I'm afraid most girls this age really are stupid. And I'm sorry for it; see, I don't enjoy not having girls worthy of me around.


>>128
I don't think women want someone who will screw them over, but want alpha males.
And so-called alpha males really are those retarded drunken gangs who will beat and rape them. The very scum of the society; truly depicable beings. Yet, in this society of ours (theirs), worst is best.


>>130
I do not think it has much to do with the girl's virginity. The ones who aren't sluts are less common, and they still follow the Ladder Theory to some extent.


>>131
Yes; that's because girls keep some kind of scoreboard on the number of good guys they've crushed, and the number of their female friends' boyfriends they've stolen (these count doble and give them such a warm, fuzzy feeling). That's why few girl friends are really friends. They're bitches to each other.


>133
is right

>>130
I'm guessing ladder theory assumes those situations don't exist. Then again, I know precisely jack shit about ladder theory, and ol' Jack left town, so your mileage may vary.

>>133
You do realize there's always the option of NOT being taken advantage of like that, right?

>>135
You do realize there's always the option of NOT being taken advantage of like that, right?
Yes, but nice guys always get screwed, because they are nice.

One could say being nice is stupid too, but I'd like to point out nice guys don't want do that because they're better persons, who even knowing they're getting screwed by a friend who would never be half that nice for them, they'll still help her. Such is the hard path of a nice guy.

(I quit the nice guy thing, but I have a lot of respect and empathy for them.)

>>134
No, that's when you're stupid and pat her, even though you shouldn't; even though she wouldn't do that for you. It eventually happens to all worthy guys. You seem like a worthy guy.
But what if you're NOT stupid and, thus, refuse to get suckered in like that? I dunno, maybe this has something to do with the fact that I don't trust people in general.

Three options:
- Neither of you: then don't have sex
That'll work.

- You not willing: WTF are you thinking!? Let's not waste this opportunity.
What, just because I'm the male in the relationship automatically means I'm obligated/expected to take the opportunity? I'm not entirely sure how people think nowadays, if at all, so bear with me here.

- She not willing: Try to convince her to, without forcing or anything, remember sex is for both of you to have fun. If she's still not willing, then you don't have sex
*takes notes*

Exactly. You seem to understand how a girl thinks. Told ya you were worth. Most people who start their posts with "I'm a cynical, misanthropic asshole" are worthy people who see this kind of thing, so I can't blame (but join) you.
Wait, so insulting myself on the internet is a GOOD thing? I'm getting confused.

Not quoting or commenting on the rest of the post-- that's an argument I do NOT want to get drawn into.

>>135
>>You do realize there's always the option of NOT being taken advantage of like that, right?

Like >>136 says, its just because the integrity of the nice guy is that way. I confess i am one of those nice guys who would help eventhough I won't be returned the favour (whether in exact or less). But thats the person I choose to be. Albeit I am at least smart enough to only help people who Im sure are not just playing around with me.

But when it comes to girls I like/care about, I would still be there for her eventhough I know very well she wont be able to return the favour. Why i do it? Cos I won't be able to live myself if I just stand at the sidelines and see her all suffering. At least I am aware from the beginning not to expect anything back.

Friend told me once that reason why I never got a girl might be because I just dedicate too much in the beginning. Because of that a girl might feel she doesn't need to go to the next step to get my support/help. I dunno but I felt that kind of thinking would mean that the girl only liked me because of what I do for her and not for what I am as a person.

>>134 is a fucking idiot.
If you don't respect people, don't expect them to respect you in return.

Azrael sums up women perfectly.  That is all.

crap, I forgot to post the links -.-;;
http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/niceguy.html

http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/mating3.html

two best articles to describe the position us nice guys are stuck in.

>>139 sorry my friend but thats not how the world works..

>>139
You can still respect everyone around you and they might/might not  do the same.  But, to trust someone is totally different.  Only by respecting someone would you be able to find someone that would respect you back and gradually build trust in them.

Ok maybe this sounds like a fantasy.. I don't know, but I do respect everyone around me and I'm an asian guy in a area where the population is 60% white and 35% black and 5% asian.

>>141
Essentially what the editorial is saying is that girls want the perfect man. One who is both a nice guy and a jerk. I guess same with us guys wanting the perfect girl.

But the mating game. For once I'd wish relationships weren't a game of either party artificially holding back and strategicly planning of how much resources to put in. Why can't relationships just be strangers->aquantances->friends->close friends->lovers? Because we all are usually not willing to put our full trust?

Oh and I took the Friends Zone test
http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/zonetest.html
I scored a 56 =( So not terrible but i was still sort of in the Friends Zone. Just sort of confirms what I already knew from day one.

As much as I respect Az,  I wouldn't take his scale seriously...It's like something out of a magazine for teenage girls.

4chan, anyone up to help design a qualitative experimental measurement to test the Ladder Theory/Friend Zone?

>>137
But what if you're NOT stupid and, thus, refuse to get suckered in like that?
Then you don't - and you'll probably live happier than most of us who did.

What, just because I'm the male in the relationship automatically means I'm obligated/expected to take the opportunity?
Nope, but since it's so damn fun and feels so damn good, you want to ^_^. This is like not having a free computer when you can.

Wait, so insulting myself on the internet is a GOOD thing? I'm getting confused.
I don't consider misanthropy is a bad thing at all.


>>138
I dunno but I felt that kind of thinking would mean that the girl only liked me because of what I do for her and not for what I am as a person.
Bingo. That's why you're a good person, and most girls aren't. And that's why I lost interest in love.


>>139
Well, pardon me for despising the shitty, brainless, drug addicted fools. I have a lot of respect for intelligent people, nice guys, nice girls (wherever they are) and antisocial people though, and average respect for people that aren't fucking stupid. But as >>142 said, respect doesn't always matter.


>>141
Azrael is a wise person. Nice guys, I advise you to read his editorials.

I also recommend:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=girls
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=lyingbitch

>>124
>True love, alright. Sex after marriage? Why? If both are willing it's silly to wait, you're wasting fun.

Well, if you're both willing to have sex, you should both be willing to marry. 

Not to mention, if she ended up not marrying after the sex, it would be someone I wouldn't want to date and whatnot, as I said in the first line.

Call me old-fashion. :/

>>148
Well, if you're both willing to have sex, you should both be willing to marry.
That happens when both are willing to have children, not when both are willing to have sex. When both are willing to have sex, you have sex. Smarter creatures (dolphins, humans) use sex for fun, not just making children.

Sex aids the bonding process. To remove sex from the equation explains partly why religious nuts are so fucking nuts.

I honesly dun see any major problem with having sex before marriage if both are consenting and are both in love. The moral issues that pertain to it are just old fashion. And the practical issues of contracting STD or getting unwanted pregnancies are neutralized if you know your partner well enough and you take birth control measures like the pill or condoms.
And having more than 1 sex partner is good because you had experienced all that can happen.

Back on topic, I honestly dunno how does one go about finding a girl. Guess thats why Im single. I just go with the flow. Meaning girls I meet through friends, at school, and at work could all be potential girls I like if they were the right looks and personality.

But then you hear other ppl saying you should be going to parties, going to major social gatherings and so on and so on JUST to look for that potential girl. To me well maybe because Im lazy thats why I stick to following the flow.

what i think bout parties is that youd find a girl that gets drunk and fucked.. repeat etc, i mean sex is cool and all but it cant be everything to the relatioship and i think thats a problem now in society

I can never know why is it you cannot get to know the person FIRST before going on a date. It keeps being suggested that if you meet a girl you like, you immediatly go to her and ask her out on a date. Instead of like getting to know her as friend and work from there. Because mostly if you try to get to know her as a friend, there is always the possibility u end up being in the friend pile.

>>151
But then you hear other ppl saying you should be going to parties, going to major social gatherings and so on and so on JUST to look for that potential girl. To me well maybe because Im lazy thats why I stick to following the flow.

Don't worry, social gatherings ain't worth shit.


>>152
That's like saying cheese is bad because you become obese if you eat too much of it. Of course it can't be all in a relationship; in fact cuddling is more important than sex to me. Today's society has much bigger problems than sex, though; most people being fucking stupid certainly is a bigger problem.


>>153
Because mostly if you try to get to know her as a friend, there is always the possibility u end up being in the friend pile.
I'd say "certainty", not "possibility". So the answer to your first sentence is, because girls are stupid, and fuck, I hate to have to say this because I'm not sexist, but I can't delude myself and pretend they're not utterly stupid here.

Hey guys, instead of trying to pin our lackings on the system, let's see what the key requisites are for a female to be attracted on average.

Appearance--look like you're a big deal, and the amount of fat on you inversely relates to the amount of reciprocation.  Sad fact.
Ego--confidence, projection
Hobby--A really cool passion.  Must not be excessively masculine, enjoyable to watch, and the more skill involved, the better
Self-sustaining--monetary, have a car, cooking&cleaning a plus
Exclusive--makes him look more prominent, knowledgable, etc

Not saying what the ideal man should be like, but it seems these are magnet features.  If you aren't willing to change who you are, great.  A lot of men will, and already have.  I'm sure 4chan is capable of being more than misogynist idealists.

>>155
Its one thing to change the flaws of yourself. That is fine and no harm in that. But when you have a quality that is of no flaw at all and you have to change that just to get the girl, then its a different story.

Just like how you are suppose to stop being the nice guy and start being the jerk instead to get a girl. I wouldnt want to do that. I guess it comes down to what qualities you as a flaw.

Y'know what? Screw it, finding love is NOT worth this bullshit.

But, then, I suppose none of you want to end up old and lonely like ZOIDBERG! *weeps*

>>157
Ending up old and lonely is ok and maybe even better. But then you got to live with what society is gonna perceive you. Now if society can just accept that being lonely is just as a choice as being openly gay or liking chocolates then well we all will be happy.

>>157
Y'know what? Screw it, finding love is NOT worth this bullshit.
Well said, man. Stupid girls don't deserve this kind of work/bullshit, and the good ones who would deserve it, don't really need it, but they're already taken or out of reach somehow, so fuck it.

>>154

ppl that are jus stupid was always a problem with society...