[CYOA] Choose Your Own VIP Adventure!

The same thread exists on 4 different textboards now. You walk in to /vip/ from your slumber in the cave and decide what to do today.
To post QUALITY posts go to >>2
To JEWS JEWS to >>3
To make your way out of a neolithic slumber that is 4chan/vip/ go to >>241

You have been eaten by a grue. However, you refuse to die, because dieing isn't [i][u][o]VIP QUALITY![/i][/u][/o]
Instead, thanks to the power of almighty WT-Snacks, your body is regenerated and the beast is slain.

To realize your only purpose in life is to get out of the discussion boards, go to >>13

To spite this thread for no reason other than it is successful, go to >>15

To question the true meaning of your life, go to >>16