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Pages: 1-4041-

Lets post nerdy jokes

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 5:42

Here's a particularly relevant one:

Q: What is the physicist's definition of a vector space?
A: A set V satisfying the axiom that for any x in V, x has a little arrow drawn over it.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 10:13

FAGGET

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 10:41

Why don't mathematicians celebrate both Halloween and Christmas?

OCT. 31 is the same as DEC. 25

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 13:28

Proton: I lost an electron 8'(
Hydrogen atom: Are you sure?
Proton: I'm positive ,_,

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 13:29

>>3
AHAHAHAHAAA

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 14:47

>>1
I see what you did there

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 18:06

Q: What did Hideki Yukawa proclaim upon the discovery of a new sub-atomic particle?

A: Holy shit, thats A-meson!

And what did his buddy say after Yukawa called to tell him the news:

Dude, you got me up for this? This is sooo Boron.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-17 18:47

>>3

I prefer this version: http//groups.google.co.uk/...

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-18 1:12

This is an original joke by me.  I copyright it lol

It is mine and nobody else made it but me.  It, that is, being the joke that I made.


"Most matrices live on campus.  In general, they don't commute."

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-18 15:44

>>9
Now the property of 4chan.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-18 18:37

>>9

anything put onto the internet instantly becomes public domain.

my contribution, old but true:

here lies my friend billy
billy is no more
for what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-18 19:44

>>10
Now the property of Anonymous.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-21 2:24

>>9 that's a good joke to tell if you wish to retain your virginity... forever

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-21 16:21

>>13
You are the winner of this thread. Add this success to your tally.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-21 20:52 (sage)

Not really a joke, but a pickup line:

"I'd like to integrate your curves with my natural log"

Name: Amarok 2006-01-22 0:15

ROLFMAO!

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-23 11:31

Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
Aleph-null bottles of beer,
You take one down, and pass it around,
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.

POST MORE W4CH

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-25 13:33

>>15
winn4r is u

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-25 14:56

this is the shortest maths joke evar.

"let epsilon be less than 0"

Name: zeppy !GuxAK3zcH. 2006-01-25 17:20

ur my X lol

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-26 1:10

I went to the bank to cash a paycheck for $1024.  The teller said, "How do you want that?  Large bills?"  I nearly said "sure, give me two 512s or four 256s."

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-26 1:15

A gangster who loved to bet at the racetrack kidnapped a chemist, a mathematician, and a physicist to force them to find ways for him to find money at the track.  He gave them all a month and he threatened to kill all three if they didn't come up with anything useful, then he locked them up in labs.

The month expired, and the gangster first went to the chemist and said, "So, what do ya got for me?"

The chemist said, "I've created this new variation on amphetamines that there's no test for because it's new.  Give this to the horse before the race and it'll make him run faster, and at least for a while it'll be undetectable."

The gangster said, "Great, go stand over there and wait."

Then the gangster went to the mathematician and said, "So, what do ya got for me?"

The mathematician said, "I've found some flaws in the way tracks calculate the betting odds.  If you follow these instructions, it'll increase your chances of walking away a winner."

The gangster said "Great, go stand over there and wait."

At last the gangster went to the physicist and said, "So, what do ya got for me?"

And the physicist said, "Consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion..."

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-26 7:11

>>22

he's hypnotising him?

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-26 8:34

>>23
no, he is simplifying the problem so that the result will be fully predictable.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-26 18:09

I lol'd does that mean I fail at ever getting a girl?

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-27 1:58

>>24
ie) manipulating things so that he looks smarter... and will be given that large grant to continue his "greenhouse effect" research.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-27 14:45 (sage)

>>24

okay, but horses do not move anything at all like s.h.m.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-27 17:48

>>27
the SHM is the horses moving around the track, which could be made into a circle. that is, 1 lap is a period.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-29 9:20

>>27
Neither do most of the objects in the word problems in physics textbooks.  That's why it's funny.

"Consider a spherical bear in simple harmonic motion."
"Consider a spherical bee in simple harmonic motion."
"Consider a spherical automobile in simple harmonic motion."
"Consider a spherical chicken in simple harmonic motion."

etc.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-30 3:24

My friends and I used to joke about "light inextensible springs"

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-30 12:45

And frictionless massless chains, I bet.

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-30 23:19

>>31
graviton lazer O_O

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-31 13:22

and extensible smooth rigid rods

Name: Anonymous 2006-01-31 20:35

No one has brought up turbo encabulators yet.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-02 8:50

practice safe hex, avoid viruses today.

not completley math/science, but a nerd joke none the less

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-14 6:01

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET
penis

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-14 13:25

KNOCK KNO-
penis

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-16 16:53

>>25
You can still get girls - but only fat ones.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-20 17:21 (sage)

>>26
...

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-21 16:14

NURDS

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-23 3:26

A shy mathematician named Paul
Has one hexahedronial ball.
     The square of its weight
     Times his penis, plus eight,
Is his phone number.  Give him a call!

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-23 4:28

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple?














Being raped.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-23 8:38

what the hell are you people talking about

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-23 20:30

>>43
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-24 15:27

What's the integral between 1 and Cabin of 1/t dt ?
ln(Cabin)

natural log cabin.. LOL

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-24 17:21

Never use any of these jokes before you've lost your virginity.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-24 17:56

>>46
Too late. I hit up a librarian with >>42.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-24 22:21

whats the anti-derivative of 1/mower?


ln mower ROFL

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-25 0:26

>>48
Only Canadians use "lawn" for ln.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-26 5:37

>>49
only 2x nerds would've known.  amazing.

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-26 10:04

Latural Nog

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-26 11:18

An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist all got into a car. When they tried to start it, all it did was turn over and die. The electrical engineer said "I think it's a problem with the distributor cap." The mechanical engineer said "No no, I think it's vapor lock." The computer scientist said "Why don't we just all get out of the car, and then get back in and try it again."

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-28 20:07

An ecologist went to the forest to study a new species of snake. She soon noticed that they only reproduced in woodpiles, but couldn't figure out why. So she walked up to one of them and asked, "Why do you only reproduce in woodpiles?". The snake replied "We're adders. We need logs to multiply.".

Name: Anonymous 2006-02-28 20:30

We watched a video in physics where "Bright as Light the two dimensional supergirl" went around a track in her "ultra mean machine."

I'm kinda glad I usually sleep through physics.

Name: Anonymous 2006-03-02 0:24

>>15

Another pickup line that's somewhat similiar:
"I wish I was your derivative, cause then I'd be tangent to your curves"

Name: Anonymous 2006-03-02 19:05 (sage)

>>54
Most boards here have plenty of two dimensional supergirls, oftentimes naked H__H

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 2:57

\sqrt{x}

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 2:57

$\sqrt{x}$

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 3:01

The quadratic formula is $-b \pm \sqrt{b^2 - 4ac} \over 2a$
\bye

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 3:01

The quadratic formula is $-b \pm \sqrt{b^2 - 4ac} \over 2a$

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 3:02

\sqrt{x}
x^2

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 3:04

x^2

Name: Anonymous 2010-01-31 3:04

x

Name: Anonymous 2010-10-07 19:54

ROUTE 66 GET

Name: Anonymous 2010-10-08 12:33

My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user friendly than Windows Vista. I don’t like that.

Name: Anonymous 2010-10-09 0:42

whats new?
c over lambda

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-24 11:21

Newton, Pascal and Planck are playing hide and seek. It's Planck's turn to count to 10. Pascal runs for the bushes and hides, but Newton stays put and draws a sqaure around his feet with a side of 1 meter.

Planck turns around and spots Newton: "Gotcha, Newton!"
But Newton replies: "No, you don't: 1 Newton per meter squared equals 1 Pascal, so I won"

Name: Anonymous 2011-04-25 0:07

>>71
I thought you win games of hide and seek by getting to the safe point without getting tagged out by the counter?  It's been ages since I played any variant of the game.

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-04 21:15

kinda a nurd joke how do u know u play black ops to much u tak apart ur computer cuse u think u got hacker pro

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-05 19:03

Hey baby, are you a differentiable equation? Cause I'd like to lie tangent to your curves.

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-07 3:01

IRC FOR EXPERT MATHEMATICS

Server:  whatisthiscomputer.dyndns.org
Channel: #trollchat

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