Lets post nerdy jokes

Here's a particularly relevant one:

Q: What is the physicist's definition of a vector space?
A: A set V satisfying the axiom that for any x in V, x has a little arrow drawn over it.

FAGGET

Why don't mathematicians celebrate both Halloween and Christmas?

OCT. 31 is the same as DEC. 25

Proton: I lost an electron 8'(
Hydrogen atom: Are you sure?
Proton: I'm positive ,_,

>>3
AHAHAHAHAAA

>>1
I see what you did there

Q: What did Hideki Yukawa proclaim upon the discovery of a new sub-atomic particle?

A: Holy shit, thats A-meson!

And what did his buddy say after Yukawa called to tell him the news:

Dude, you got me up for this? This is sooo Boron.

>>3

I prefer this version: http//groups.google.co.uk/...

This is an original joke by me.  I copyright it lol

It is mine and nobody else made it but me.  It, that is, being the joke that I made.


"Most matrices live on campus.  In general, they don't commute."

>>9
Now the property of 4chan.

>>9

anything put onto the internet instantly becomes public domain.

my contribution, old but true:

here lies my friend billy
billy is no more
for what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4

>>10
Now the property of Anonymous.

>>9 that's a good joke to tell if you wish to retain your virginity... forever

>>13
You are the winner of this thread. Add this success to your tally.

Not really a joke, but a pickup line:

"I'd like to integrate your curves with my natural log"

ROLFMAO!

Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
Aleph-null bottles of beer,
You take one down, and pass it around,
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.

POST MORE W4CH

>>15
winn4r is u

this is the shortest maths joke evar.

"let epsilon be less than 0"

ur my X lol

I went to the bank to cash a paycheck for $1024.  The teller said, "How do you want that?  Large bills?"  I nearly said "sure, give me two 512s or four 256s."

A gangster who loved to bet at the racetrack kidnapped a chemist, a mathematician, and a physicist to force them to find ways for him to find money at the track.  He gave them all a month and he threatened to kill all three if they didn't come up with anything useful, then he locked them up in labs.

The month expired, and the gangster first went to the chemist and said, "So, what do ya got for me?"

The chemist said, "I've created this new variation on amphetamines that there's no test for because it's new.  Give this to the horse before the race and it'll make him run faster, and at least for a while it'll be undetectable."

The gangster said, "Great, go stand over there and wait."

Then the gangster went to the mathematician and said, "So, what do ya got for me?"

The mathematician said, "I've found some flaws in the way tracks calculate the betting odds.  If you follow these instructions, it'll increase your chances of walking away a winner."

The gangster said "Great, go stand over there and wait."

At last the gangster went to the physicist and said, "So, what do ya got for me?"

And the physicist said, "Consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion..."

>>22

he's hypnotising him?

>>23
no, he is simplifying the problem so that the result will be fully predictable.

I lol'd does that mean I fail at ever getting a girl?

>>24
ie) manipulating things so that he looks smarter... and will be given that large grant to continue his "greenhouse effect" research.

>>24

okay, but horses do not move anything at all like s.h.m.

>>27
the SHM is the horses moving around the track, which could be made into a circle. that is, 1 lap is a period.

>>27
Neither do most of the objects in the word problems in physics textbooks.  That's why it's funny.

"Consider a spherical bear in simple harmonic motion."
"Consider a spherical bee in simple harmonic motion."
"Consider a spherical automobile in simple harmonic motion."
"Consider a spherical chicken in simple harmonic motion."

etc.

My friends and I used to joke about "light inextensible springs"

And frictionless massless chains, I bet.

>>31
graviton lazer O_O

and extensible smooth rigid rods

No one has brought up turbo encabulators yet.

practice safe hex, avoid viruses today.

not completley math/science, but a nerd joke none the less

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET
penis

KNOCK KNO-
penis

>>25
You can still get girls - but only fat ones.

>>26
...

NURDS