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New cost saving database

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 17:25

Instead of wasting money on asshole database admins, I'm going to propose just using Excel to store data. It can do 95% of what Oracle can do with just a few macros, and cost tens of thousands less. That way, we can just write all our programs on IronRuby as addins for MS Office.

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 17:33

No, everything should be stored in XML files.  That way, you can do everything SQL does with a few Perl one-liners.

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 17:46

>>2
Office files are just zipped XML. That's the genius of this!

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 17:51

u herd about Microsoft® Access®? i think it might what ure looking for

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 18:29

>>4
No, I've been living in a cave, fucking cavebitches all day without access to a computer for the last thirty years and have never heard of Access.

Excel is exactly what we need. Even secretaries know how to use it.

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 18:51

>>5
maybe u shuldnt hiring cavebitches for secreteries

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 19:12

>>6
But they work for colored beads! Think of all the money saved!

Name: Anonymous 2014-03-02 23:04

I've not met any especially assholeish DB admins. The really bad ones bad are the faggot network `engineers' who think that the ability to take a 6 month Cisco course makes them YHWH's gift to IT.

Don't change these.
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