New cost saving database

Instead of wasting money on asshole database admins, I'm going to propose just using Excel to store data. It can do 95% of what Oracle can do with just a few macros, and cost tens of thousands less. That way, we can just write all our programs on IronRuby as addins for MS Office.

No, everything should be stored in XML files.  That way, you can do everything SQL does with a few Perl one-liners.