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What's the coolest programming language?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 5:50

I'm not talking about how good it is, or how fast it is, just how cool it is. I just want to know what the coolest language is.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 6:07

By cool do you mean popular?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 6:54

>>1
niggerlang

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 7:14

Ruby!

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 7:26

>>1
Brainfuck, Whitespace, Cow.
I personally write in Pascal and Java and these are the best for me.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 8:44

IDRIS IS DA KEWLEST

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 8:49

``Cool''?
Back to /esolangs/, please!

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 9:00

fjolnir

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 9:18

Visual Basic.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 9:54

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 10:01

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 10:13

Symta (v1.1 I believe) is the coolest until Nikita rescinds the forced singular expression of the line and the forced exclamation point indenting of the code (and the english keywords) in the newest version.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 12:47

ColdFusion.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 13:20

prolog and lisp is the coolest

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 13:20

>>14
kanren

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 13:21

>>11:

Who the hell would research 'php cool' or 'lisp cool'?
What are those retarded people looking for when they search such things?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 14:04

>>16
"cool php scripts"

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 14:05

>>17
"These are some cool Php scripts i found. Check them out and let me know how they are. Note: Alot of these scripts will require Config."

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 14:06

Typical question on a PHP board:
http://forums.devshed.com/php-development-5/do-you-guys-know-of-any-cool-php-scripts-to-316095.html
"Do you guys know of any cool php scripts to run?"

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 14:14

ruby is the most cool and cute language at the same time

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 14:42

COOL FREE PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES:[/o]
- LISP

Non-cool non-free non-programming non-languages:
- everything else

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 18:11

I made ________ in HTML5

HIRED

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-23 18:18

C++, especially with the Qt/KDE libs. The "C" stands for cool, the "++" makes it extra cool, and KDE is the "Kool" Desktop Environment.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 0:12

>>23
But Qt is cute. You can't be both cool and cute at the same time. That's like mixing Chiyo and Sakaki. What you get is the worst parts of both.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 0:14

DA ILLEST PRGRMMG LANG IS

COBOLT

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 3:38

Ruby has a life outside the internet, while Python can't go six hours without playing Call of Duty and geting called a faggot by preteen boys on XBox Live.
Ruby teaches gym class and lets you smoke under the bleachers, while Java teaches third-grade english and makes you read aloud in class.
Ruby has the ability to empathize with others, while Clojure has over two terabytes of child porn.
Ruby is healthy and stong, while Perl has AIDS and needs life support machines to keep him breathing.
Ruby sometimes enjoys weed, while Common Lisp sucked off a nigger for a single crack rock.
Ruby loves animal and treasures the companionship, while Haskell ran over your dog and made you clean up the mess.
Ruby has a vast collection of anime stored on his hard drive, while Smalltalk streams anime and buys the DVDs.
Ruby is financially secure and has invested his money wisely, while C++ is always trying to borrow money to buy real estate on the moon.
Ruby respects people's personal space, while Fortran gets six inches from your face and spits when he talks.
Ruby can agree to disagree, while Scheme wants to behead those who insult Islam.
Ruby never hits on your girlfriend, while BASIC molests your children.
Ruby has a good job and good mental health, while Symta lives with his mother and spends 18 hours a day shitposting on obscure forums in a foreign language.
Ruby is clean and neat, while Lua leaves his trash in your car whenever you take him somewhere.
Ruby was voted `Most Likely To Succeed' in high school, while Scala took a gun to school and shot the place up.
Ruby cares about a friend's safety, while PHP secretly laced your weed with PCP then called the cops on you.
Ruby knows that Jews are evil, while C# is a jew himself.
Ruby served nine tours of duty in six different wars, while F# dodge the draft and moved to Canada.
Ruby plays the Touhou as Marisa when she's available, while Go won't play at all if he can't play as Reimu.
Ruby is learning Japanese to translate visual novels for others, while Javascript is learning Japanese so he can read hentai by himself.
Ruby accepts the fact that programming is demeaning, while OCaml also agrees that programming is demeaning.
Ruby takes care to not break your stuff, while Pascal clumsily dropped super glue on your carpet.
Ruby gets laid with a new girl every night, while C cries while masturbating herself to sleep.
Ruby offers you the last piece of food, while Ada orders a bunch of appetizers then eats most of them but still wants to divide the check evenly.
Ruby recognizes that magic may exist and understands it's appeal, while Scheme emotionally argued for Small Bomb Theory for hours on end.
Ruby is the model Aryan to carry on the Human Race, while Game Maker Language has 24 chromosomes.
Ruby is a well mannered drinker, while Assembly thought it would be funny to take a shit in the sink.
Ruby values functionality over form, while Forth is an art major who loudly complains about `conformist' with his hipster friends in Starbucks.
Ruby can function in almost any environment, while Verilog thinks the Sun is going to eat him and refuses to go outside.
Ruby knows when and how to tell a good story, while Tcl talks about 4chan and lolies at parties that he got a pity invite to.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 4:44

>>26
Ruby has a good job and good mental health, while Symta lives with his mother and spends 18 hours a day shitposting on obscure forums in a foreign language.
Shalom, Hymie!

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 4:46

Scheme

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 6:37

Gleme

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 6:50

FOIC.

>>26
Ruby is for faggots.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 7:47

TOO BAD RUBY ON RAILS IS SLOW AS FUCK
                    end
                end
            end
        end
    end
end

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 8:16

>>24
but you can. konata is cute and cool at the same time

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 8:19

Ruby gets laid with a new girl every night, while C cries while masturbating herself to sleep.

wait.. c is a homosexual female?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 8:40

Theres nothing cooler than perl6

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 11:41

Not to make a new thread: is Racket actually good for anything besides making toy languages and playing around with lambdas? Is it used in the industry at all?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 12:21

>>35
Naughty Dog used Racket for creating domain-specific languages. They've got a long Lisp tradition: they also did Crash Bandicoot's GOOL compiled by a Common Lisp program and Jak's GOAL.

http://all-things-andy-gavin.com/2011/03/12/making-crash-bandicoot-gool-part-9/
http://twvideo01.ubm-us.net/o1/vault/gdc08/slides/S6636i1.pdf
http://www.slideshare.net/naughty_dog/statebased-scripting-in-uncharted-2-among-thieves

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 12:48

>>36
Wow, good links, except that they're mostly about CL-like lisps.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 14:23

>>37
except that they're mostly about CL-like lisps.
That is because nobody cares about pure-functional crap in practice. Lisp is good because of it's macros, not because of lazy-lists.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 14:27

>>38
But Racket macros are a lot more powerful than in CL, and Racket allows mutation.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:21

>>39
Racket macros are a lot more powerful than in CL
[citation needed]

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:23

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:27

>>41
where is proof?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:29

>>42
Nice answer to life, the universe and everything get.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:50

>>42
Read the Racket reference, the Google, the everything, faggot. Racket's macros are a lot more developed and sophisticated, it's a fact.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:54

ruby on huge-dicks syntax highlighted with css in java

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 15:59

>>1
What's the coolest programming language?
Haskell. It has a lot of cool buzzwords.

{-# LANGUAGE Arrows, BangPatterns, ConstrainedClassMethods, CPP, DatatypeContexts, DeriveDataTypeable, DeriveFoldable, DeriveFunctor, DeriveGeneric, DeriveTraversable, DisambiguateRecordFields, DoAndIfThenElse, DoRec, EmptyDataDecls, ExistentialQuantification, ExplicitForAll, ExtendedDefaultRules, ExtensibleRecords, FlexibleContexts, FlexibleInstances, ForeignFunctionInterface, FunctionalDependencies, GADTs, GeneralizedNewtypeDeriving, Generics, GHCForeignImportPrim, HereDocuments, ImplicitParams, ImpredicativeTypes, IncoherentInstances, KindSignatures, LiberalTypeSynonyms, MagicHash, MonoLocalBinds, MultiParamTypeClasses, NamedFieldPuns, NewQualifiedOperators, NoImplicitPrelude, NoMonomorphismRestriction, NoMonoPatBinds, NPlusKPatterns, OverlappingInstances, OverloadedStrings, PackageImports, ParallelListComp, PatternGuards, PatternSignatures, PolymorphicComponents, PostfixOperators, QuasiQuotes, Rank2Types, RankNTypes, RebindableSyntax, RecordPuns, RecordWildCards, RecursiveDo, RegularPatterns, RelaxedPolyRec, RestrictedTypeSynonyms, ScopedTypeVariables, StandaloneDeriving, TemplateHaskell, TransformListComp, TupleSections, TypeFamilies, TypeOperators, TypeSynonymInstances, UnboxedTuples, UndecidableInstances, UnicodeSyntax, UnknownExtension
UnliftedFFITypes, ViewPatterns, XmlSyntax #-}

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 18:13

>>26
Ruby can agree to disagree, while Scheme wants to behead those who insult Islam.
Ruby recognizes that magic may exist and understands it's appeal, while Scheme emotionally argued for Small Bomb Theory for hours on end.

Wouldn't Scheme argue that Allah did it though?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 21:04

Folks, folks. If you all combined spend the same amount of time flaming this guy as he spent writing his troll post, then he has won. So shut up.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 21:34

>>48
he has won.
won what?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 21:34

one internets

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 21:35

>>49
He masturbates to your anger.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-24 22:20

>>26
Ruby plays the Touhou as Marisa when she's available, while Go won't play at all if he can't play as Reimu.
Figures that Ruby would like that bitchy little thief.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 2:48

>>44
Is Racket's macro any different from R5RS'?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 3:20

>>39
CL's macros are already as powerful as they could be. You can transform the code within the macro body to any computationally tractable lisp expression. If anything, this is too powerful, as it takes a language designer to avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

The scheme macro systems emphasize readablity and making it harder to shoot yourself in the foot by making macros more restrictive.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 3:26

>>52
Except Ruby is too slow to play Marisa.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 4:25

>>46
Rank2Types is the same as RankNTypes

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 5:07

>>52
marisa is cute

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 6:18

>>57
Reimu is cuter.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 6:22

Ruby accepts the fact that programming is demeaning
Explains a lot.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 6:26

>>58
Cudder is cuter.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 10:04

>>26
Saved.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 10:07

>>46
You don't seem to understand the meaning of the word ``buzzword''.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 10:08

>>52
How is playing as Reimu bad anyway?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 10:19

>>63
Nasty armpits.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 10:36

>>64
Completely shaven, lightly sweaty armpits.
*grabs dick*

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 12:16

javascript

it offers innovative web technologies such as closures (allows you to create functions that retain their lexical environment), metaprogramming (new Function()), and smart comparisons (== and !=)

its working version, Harmony, will further revolutionize the field of computer science with home-grown ideas like generators (allows code to behave as though it is asynchronous), array comprehensions (build up arrays via generators, all in one expression!), tail-call optimization (calling a function in tail position does not use additional stack space), and much more!

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 16:06

Perl

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 16:15

「 check my cool new quotes 」

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 16:25

>>68
Thanks man, I'll be sure to use them「 ! 」

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 18:48

>>63
Nasty, dried-up, unshaved vagina, like all Japs. The gaijin genes that give Marisa her blond hair fixes that.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 19:25

>>70
gaijin genes make her shave vagina?

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 21:18

C/C++.  Official language of the demoscene.  As cool as it gets for anything programming related..  Well.. as cool as graffiti and street culture ever was.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 21:42

>>71
Yes. Those same genes also make her wash it on the regular basis, and keeps her from breaking out in sobs during sex.

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 21:59

>>72
This. Unless you need even more optimization, where assembly is your friend.

(except if you're Linus Torvals, who supposedly upon first getting an assembler figured out he has been coding in pure machine code thinking it was assembly.)

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 22:15

Ruby can make an eleven language quine. http://d.hatena.ne.jp/ku-ma-me/20090916

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 22:40

>>33
No wonder men always look at her

Name: Anonymous 2013-06-25 22:57


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