The Challenge

Let's get down to business. You hate me, /prog/, and I hate you. Being a Calculus, I am unsatisfied with my programming skill and seek improvement. I challenge any of you who take pride in your skill with C to engage in the following game:

- Put down a challenge. A criteria for a program that both of us shall implement with C.
- Wait for me to accept your challenge. I don't accept those stupid challenges you find on that project euler website. Math doesn't interest me, "such that there exists"-boys. The exercises in K&R2 and, perhaps simple Unix programs, are good examples of the kinds of programs that interest me. You know, useful ones.
- Post your code.
- Wait for me to post my code.

If your program is fancier than my own and yields little criticism from one Lambda A. Calculus, I shall leave /prog/. I'm open to other stakes as well.

I await your challenges and, if any stupid stack boys want to challenge me, go for it.

Write a meta-circular evaluator in C/C++.

write pandoric grasp in c

Math doesn't interest me, "such that there exists"-boys. The exercises in K&R2 and, perhaps simple Unix programs, are good examples of the kinds of programs that interest me. You know, useful ones.
Mental midget detected.

I'll let you know if I think of a goy-tier ``challenge'' for you.

>>2
Fuck off, Nikita.

>>3
I DUNNO WAT DA FUK DAT IS, U RETOIDED 12 YEAR OLD.

>>4
SUCH THAT THERE EXISTS A GROW SUM BALLS N GIMME A CHALLENGE U FUCKIN NOOB.

>>5
Try fizzbuzz, goy.

>>6
AHAHAHAH, R U FUCKIN SERIOUS?
YEA SURE, I ACCEPT.

>>6
CMON, ARE YA STUMPED ON A FUCKIN FIZZBUZZ OR SUMTHIN? GEEZ, MY GRANDMA CUD DO THIS IN HALF THE TIME IT'S TAKIN' YOU, STANDING ON HER FUCKIN HEAD.

>>6
FIZZBUZZ IS FOR DA WEAK. I HAD DIS DONE A MINUTE AFTER I ACCEPTED UR WIMPY CHALLENGE.

WAT KIND OF A RETOID SPENDS TWENTY FUCKIN MINUTES ON A FIZZ BUZZ?

IS DIS A FUCKIN JOKE OR SUMTHIN?

WAT KIND OF A FUCKIN JACKASS CHALLENGES ME TO WRITE A HELLO-WORLD TIER PROGRAM THEN WIMPS OUT AT DA LAST FUCKIN MINUTE? WELL FUCK U, UR DISQUALIFIED. HERE'S MY FUCKIN ENTRY:

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void)
{
    for (int i = 1; i <= 100; i++)
        printf((char *[]) { "%d\n", "fizz\n", "buzz\n", "fizz-buzz\n" }[!(i % 3) | !(i % 5) << 1], i);
}

N HERE ARE SOME NEW FUCKIN RULES:

- NO SHITTY HELLO-WORLD TIER PROGRAMS. BEING ABLE TO WRITE A FIZZ-BUZZ DOESN'T MEAN SHIT. I'M A FUCKIN MASTER PROGRAMMER, NOT A WIMPY LITTLE BABY.

- I'M GONNA POST MY FUCKIN CODE ON ideone.com BEFORE I ACCEPT UR SHITTY CHALLENGE SO YOU WON'T GET DA IMPRESSION DAT I COPIED YOU OR ANY OF DAT SHIT.

ANYWAY, BRING ON DA NEXT VICTIM. AND IF UR A WIMPY MATH-BOY WHO CANT EVEN WRITE A FUCKIN FIZZBUZZ, THEN DON'T EVEN BOTHER. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE ON UR STUPID USELESS PROGRAMS.

CMON YA SNARKY LITTLE COWARDS. WHO'S GONNA MAN THE FUCK UP AND CHALLENGE ME? I BET EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U USELESS WIMPS WOULD RATHER CRAWL BACK INTO YOUR MOTHERS WOMBS DAN STEP UP AND CHALLENGE URS TRULY. UR ALL DISGRACEFUL WITH UR WIMPY FIZZ BUZZ, UR WIMPY PROJECT EULER, AND UR STUPID FUCKIN JOKES. THERE AINT A DECENT PROGRAMMER AMONG ALL OF U COWARDS IS THERE?

I SPIT ON UR FUCKIN FIZZBUZZ JUST AS I SPIT ON UR FUCKING HELLO WORLD SHIT. HAVE SOME FUCKIN GUTS AND GIMME A DECENT CHALLENGE, AND WHEN YOU DO, DON'T WIMP OUT AT DA LAST FUCKIN MINUTE.

The nicest implementation of cat(1):

#include "unistd.h"
int O=!(0xbeef
       -0xf00d
       -0xbaad
       +0xdead
       +0xd1e)
       <<020,*_O,( *_[002]
       )(
int,
       void*,int)={write,
       read}; int __(){int O_=1,_0 = O_[_]
       (        
        ++O_,
         _O,
          O
       );
      (O_^=O_)[_]
      (
        ++O_,
         _O,
         _0
      );
      return _0;}
      
      main(){
        for(_O = malloc(O);
        __(););
      }

>>15
READ DA FUCKIN STANDARD WILL YA, YA FUCKIN STACK BOY?

>>16
This is standard ANSI C

>>17
GIT FUCKED. U THINK ANSI DIDNT ADOPT DA STANDARDS AFTER C89? THEY'RE DA SAME FUCKIN HYENAS WITH DA SAME FUCKIN OUTLOOKS. WAT KIND OF A RETOID DON'T CHECK THE RETURN VALUE OF malloc? WAT KIND OF A DOOFUS THINKS cat SIMPLY COPIES stdin TO stdout? DA WHOLE FUCKIN POINT OF cat IS CONCATENATING THE CONTENTS OF A LIST OF FILES. YOUR PROGRAM LACKS DAT. YAINT RED DA STANDARD, YAINT KNO WAT UNIX PROGRAMS R, N YA THINK unistd.h IS PART OF FUCKIN C89.

N FURTHERMORE, WAT FUCKIN MODERN unistd.h DECLARES write WITH A TYPE OF int(int, void *, int)? N WAT FUCKING MODERN unistd.h DECLARES A FUCKIN malloc? TIMES HAVE CHANGED, BUDDY.

>>12
This is not C89.
Rewrite it in C89.

Then we can talk about real challenges. I have a good one in mind.

>>19
WHO DA FUCK SAID ANYTHING ABOUT C89? WE'RE TALKIN 'BOUT C YA FUCKIN RETOID. DAT FUCKER DIDNT EVEN SUBMIT HIS FUCKIN CODE, SO I DUNNO WHY U GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT IT. IF U HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR ME THEN SPEAK IT, AND FEEL FREE TO MAKE C89-COMPLIANCE A REQUIREMENT, BUT I'M NOT ACCEPTING ANOTHER SHITTY FIZZ-BUZZ CHALLENGE. DAT'S FOR DAMN SURE.

>>19
ITS FUNNY HOW U KIDS THINK FIZZ BUZZ ACTUALLY MEANS ANYTHING. IT'S FOR FUCKIN BABIES, DEMONSTRATES ZERO PROGRAMMING ABILITY. IF U WANT A C89 VERSION TO SHOW OFF TO YOUR GIRLFRIENDS SO BADLY, THEN READ DA FUCKIN STANDARD. DECLARE i AT DA TOP OF main's BLOCK, DECLARE THE ARRAY AS A FUCKING OBJECT, AND ADD "return 0;" TO DA FUCKING TAIL OF main's BLOCK. REALLY FUCKING HARD ISNT IT? FIZZ BUZZ IS DA KIND OF SHIT YOU GIVE TO RETOIDS, DONT FUCKIN INSULT ME.

BUT WHY DA FUCK AM I TELLIN YOU THIS? U'VE PROBABLY SCAMPERED OFF LIKE DA REST OF DA COWARDS ON /prog/ BY NOW. WHAT WAS UR 'real challenge'? A FUCKIN HELLO WORLD PROGRAM? MAYBE UR CHALLENGE WAS cat. AT LEAST DAT WOULD BE A HALFWAY DECENT CHALLENGE, BUT IT WOULD ACCURATELY REFLECT UR LACK OF CREATIVITY. U GUYS ARE FUCKIN DENSE.

>>21
Nice fuzzbuzz, goy. Challenge #2: check my dubs.

>>22
GO CRAWL BACK INTO UR MOTHERS WOMB YA FUCKIN COWARD. MAYBE SHE'LL HAVE A COPY OF DA STANDARD IN DER N YA MIGHT LEARN TO BE LESS OF A STUPID RETOID. YOU CAME OUT OF DER WAY TOO FUCKING SOON. NOW UR WAT, IN UR TWENTIES, AND UR DYING TO GO BACK IN. DATS WHY UR A FUCKING COWARD WHO PROBABLY CAN'T EVEN APPROACH WOMEN. DATS WHY UR TOO FUCKING USELESS TO READ DA FUCKIN STANDARD. DATS WHY U RUN OFF WHENEVER U CHALLENGE SOMEONE. DATS WHY U THINK UR SHITTY FIZZBUZZ PROGRAMS ACTUALLY REPRESENT SOME KIND OF FUCKING TALENT. UR A WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE AND DA ONLY WAY UR GONNA CHANGE IS IF YOU CRAWL BACK INTO YOUR MOTHERS WOMB, KILL YOURSELF, OR MAN THE FUCK UP.

NOW WHERE'S A FUCKING CHALLENGER? I'M GETTING BORED OVER HERE. UR PROBABLY ALL A BUNCH OF WIMPY RETOIDS ARENT YA?

>>24
I would challenge you, but then you would leave.

>>25
BULL FUCKING SHIT. "I would challenge you, but ..." IS WHAT U TELL URSELF EVERY FUCKING DAY. "I would walk over and talk to that woman, but ..." IS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SENTENCE STARTERS. U WON'T FUCKING CHALLENGE ME. U WON'T WALK OVER TO THAT WOMAN. U WON'T DO SHIT BECAUSE UR A FUCKING PUSSY WHO WANTS TO CRAWL BACK INTO HIS MOTHERS WOMB. ALL U'LL DO IS MAKE UP STUPID EXCUSES FOR WHY YOU WON'T DO * THAT INCLUDE EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE FUCKING TRUTH: UR A FUCKING USELESS PUSSY.

>>20
PROGRAMMING CHALLENGE

Write a program in C89 that solves http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1358656286/ and proves that this is the correct solution.

>>23
Challenge #3: return to reddit, goy.

>>27
SEE >>1. NO FUCKIN PROJECT EULER BULLSHIT. REAL FUCKIN PROGRAMS, NO "SUCH THAT THERE EXISTS" MATH RUBBISH.

>>28
SEE >>23

>>29
Write a program that solves Project Euler problems.

>>29
Confirmed for mental midget. If you can't even handle the banana programming challenge, then you have no hope. End of discussion. I'll call kodak-kun to see if he has a position for you scrubbing toilets.

>>29
How is that project euler bullshit? It's a simple simulation. You're an idiot.

>>31
NOW UR BEATING AROUND THE BUSHES LIKE A FUCKIN WIMP. THE GOAL ISNT TO WRITE FANCY, CHALLENGING PROGRAMS THAT ACCOMPLISH STUPID MATH PROBLEMS AND SHIT, IT'S TO SEE HOW WELL U CAN USE C TO ACCOMPLISH COMMON TASKS. THE CHALLENGE ISN'T IN THE FUCKING PROGRAM, IT'S IN USING THE LANGUAGE TO ACTUALLY FUCKIN WRITE IT. YOU CAN MASTURBATE TO YOUR STUPID MATH PROBLEMS ALL DAY LONG, BUT IF YOU CAN'T IMPLEMENT A BASIC cat, sort, OR grep YOU'RE A SHIT PROGRAMMER. IF YOU CAN'T IMPLEMENT THE FUNCTIONS DECLARED IN string.h, THE FUCKING HEADER FILE I BASICALLY DESIGNED WITH MY BARE HANDS, YOU'RE A SHIT C PROGRAMMER.

THAT'S WHO I'M CHALLENGING, PEOPLE WHO CAN USE A FUCKING PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE. NOT RETOIDS WHO PLAY ON PROJECT EULER ALL DAY LONG.

>>32
SHOVE IT UP UR ASS U FUCKIN CLOTHESLINE SWINGER.

>>33
GO SIMULATE A COPY OF DA FUCKIN STANDARD AND FUCKIN REED IT U RETOID.

op is a fag

>>35
UR A RETOIDED MATH BOY.

I THINK U RETOIDS HAVE LITERACY PROBLEMS. REED MY FIRST FUCKING POST: >>1

IF U CANT REED DAT, I DOUBT U FUCKIN RETOIDS CAN REED DA FUCKIN STANDARD. U MORONS SEEM TO THINK I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO YOUR CHALLENGE APPLIES TO. NO. YOU NEED TO FUCKING DO IT TOO. TL;DR: GET OUT OF DIS FUCKING THREAD 'COZ U DON'T BELONG HERE AND ENROL IN A BASIC LITERACY CLASS.

NOW WHERE'S A CHALLENGER WHO STILL HAS HIS FUCKING FRONTAL LOBE?

profgram a nigger simulator in java

>>38
NO FUCKING SIMULATORS. REAL FUCKING PROGRAMS. TEXT PROCESSING UTILITIES: COMMENT STRIPPERS, TOKENISERS, WORD/SENTENCE/KEYWORD/WORD FREQUENCY COUNTERS, PREPROCESSORS. EMULATORS FOR SIMPLE CHIPSETS. NETWORK PROGRAMS. SIMPLE GAMES. CALCULATORS/SIMPLE INTERPRETERS. FUCKING USEFUL PROGRAMS THAT 90% OF YOU ARE ALL TOO RETOIDED TO HANDLE; NO USELESS PROJECT EULER 'PROBLEMS'. OF COURSE, IT CAN'T BE RIDICULOUSLY COMPLICATED THAT IT SPANS OVER 1000 LINES OF CODE. I JUST WANT TO SEE WHETHER ANY OF YOU FUCKERS ACTUALLY KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND C. MY IMPRESSION IS THAT THE ONES WHO CLAIM TO KNOW C ARE JUST A BUNCH OF STACK BOYS WHO HAVENT RED DA FUCKIN STANDARD, AND ALL THE WIMPS ARE USELESS MATH BOYS WHO PLAY PROJECT EULER ALL DAY LONG.

>>39
bitch? ENJOY trigger caustic enema full hate handlebar emergence neural network cock behavior wanton pseudointellectual whore crapshoot barbaric animal bestiality