/prog/ - PROMOTION!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 20:52

The oldest guy at work just died; he got in a car wreck on new years eve night and, after 9 days of surgery and an amputation of his leg, he is dead! That means ... I just got promoted to King of the Programmers!

How should I enjoy my new found power? Should I force everyone to wear buttplugs and program in python? Should I mandate that only bubble sort be used? Feed me ideas, lowly serfs.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:06

bd 6c d5 04 33 46 6e 68 3d a2 af 82 6f 97 12 bb

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:12

What a sad story. I do not know how you can lack such empathy, to be pleased about the death of another programmer.

Name: OP is a fag 2013-01-09 21:15

I hope you fucking die in a fire. Seriously.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:24

>>4
Get your homophobicity out of my /prog/!!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:25

I don't think you really have the authority to do those things.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:26

>>5
Get your [b][i]kikeness[/b][/u] out of my /prog/!!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:31

>>1
install visual source safe and force everyone to use it

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 22:30

>>1
/polecat kebabs/

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 22:54

>>1
Get off your donkey and do something useful.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 22:56

fuck you, bubble sort is cool as shit

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 23:06

So you got promoted now Bastard Operator From Hell?

I thought you died on episode 10.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:18

>>11
High school CS class teacher detected.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:26

>>13 back to /g/

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:42

Make them learn AS 2 for no reason whatsoever.

Godfuck, I hate that retarded language.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:51

>>1
My mom's trying to pay me $20 to wear a dress she bought me and to not meow or talk about witchcraft at dinner with my grandparents tonight. She spends her whole life trying to suppress my catkin identity instead of just allowing me to be myself.

I respectfully declined her offer. If I want to wear clothes that I find in dumpsters, I will. If I feel like meowing, I'm going to meow. If I need to cast a spell or a ward, nothing is going to stop me. I'm so sick of everyone trying to control me.
Mom, I'm a cat, I'm a Wiccan, and I am not going to lie to my grandparents just to make you feel better. So just stop.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:29

>>16
Where does this shit come from?

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:33

>>17
Ugh. My mom just walked in on me during a past life regression. I was crawling around the floor slowly. She asked me what I was doing and I told her that she wouldn’t understand. She kept pressing and I told her I was experiencing past life regression. I told her about how I was a tortoise in my past life and about my tortoise memories. I ended up coming out as otherkin to her and had to explain what that meant. She got angry and told me to “grow up” and fill out some job applications online.

I don’t even know why she would tell me to fill out job applications when I’m going to be moving soon. I can’t wait to move. I am so sick of living with a bigotted alcoholic mother who is afraid of what she doesn’t understand.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:34

>>18
>I can't wait to move
I kind of feel bad for her, we both know it's not happening.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:35

>>19
She has to come out of her shell at some point.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:49

Give them provably impossible task, then write them up for poor performance when they fail.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:57

1. don't be a dick
2. teach them to program
3. if you need further instructions you should probably pass the job on

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:14

>>18
This is fucked up. Even by my standards.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:17

>>23
You know you'd still fuck her.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:21

Start pair programming but keep changing the person who they work with every week . Tell them it will help them produce enterprise quality code.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:23

>>24
but where are the pictures of this transcat woman?

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:23

>>24
No. Really.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:25

>>24
I'd need to wrap barbs around my penis first to make it like she wants it.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:38

>>28
Cats do not consent. The cat mating ritual involves the tom cat stalking the molly for a while before raping her. It is a very noisy ruckus and both of them are often left bloody from the fight.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 2:58

>>29
That means she wouldn't press charges if you raped her?

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 3:06

>>30
Why hello there Pepe Le Pew!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 3:13

>>30
Cats don't have legal protection anyway. Go for it.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 3:20

but she's not a cat..

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 3:59

i like it when people die. :)

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 8:13

Buy them all a copy of SICP and program in Scheme!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 12:38

>>33
It's rude to remind her that she'll always be a transcat

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 13:11

That cat girl actually looks fine. I just wish people would stop forcing memes in /prog/ when we already have enough things forced as it is (Indentation)

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 14:45

Fire them all, outsource coding to India.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 18:51

>>38
King of Human Resource Management detected.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 19:29

PROMOTION? WHAT FOR!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTZ9t-KymYo

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 19:57

Read a bunch of management books with stupid titles like The Winner's Mindset or The Greatest Asset: Being a Smart People-Person in a Lateral Organization, then apply all the things listing in bullet points at the same time.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 21:54

I'm going to be king of the pirates!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 0:21

I've never gotten a promotion. Maybe because I am a shit programmer.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 9:29

I've never gotten a promotion. Maybe because I have never been employed.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 10:39

I've never gotten a promotion. Maybe because this is le new meme xD

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:08

>>45
Sure, it's a quality new meme, but is it an Abelson quality meme?

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:12

>>42
You're no Straw Hat Luffy, faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:13

New meme! I love memes!

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:07

>>1
id go butt hooks and bogo sort

Name: Mcfaggot 2013-01-11 18:28

Python sucks :(

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:29

Faggots

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:58

>>20
PowerShell?

PROMOTION!

1 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 20:52

2 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:06

3 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:12

4 Name: OP is a fag 2013-01-09 21:15

5 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:24

6 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:25

7 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:26

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21 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:49

22 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:57

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39 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 18:51

40 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 19:29

41 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 19:57

42 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 21:54

43 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 0:21

44 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 9:29

45 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 10:39

46 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:08

47 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:12

48 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:13

49 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:07

50 Name: Mcfaggot 2013-01-11 18:28

51 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:29

52 Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:58

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 20:52

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:06

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:12

Name: OP is a fag 2013-01-09 21:15

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:24

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:25

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:26

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 21:31

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 22:30

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 22:54

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 22:56

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-09 23:06

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:18

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:26

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:42

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 0:51

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:29

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:33

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:34

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:35

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:49

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 1:57

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Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 3:59

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 8:13

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 12:38

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 13:11

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 14:45

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 18:51

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 19:29

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 19:57

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-10 21:54

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 0:21

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 9:29

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 10:39

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:08

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:12

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 14:13

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:07

Name: Mcfaggot 2013-01-11 18:28

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:29

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-11 18:58