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Punishing bad programmers

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-24 21:42

So I have this faggot at work, who is a total ass. He writes shit code and makes comments on the level of ``i++; //adds one to i'', and I can't even tell if he's being sarcastic or not. Should I like, set him on fire, or something?

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-24 21:43

Help put him in a position where his idiocy will be visible to others.  Your problem will go away shortly.  If not, find work elsewhere.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-24 21:51

hax his anus

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-24 22:14

suck his dick

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 0:14

Ask to be reassigned? Kill him? Steal his car? Break his work computer(s)? Absolutely refuse to do business with any code written by him? Tell your boss-creature that he completely sucks at his job? Get a job somewhere that doesn't accept complete fucktards outside of the standing-outside-in-a-fursuit department?

Name: Cudder !MhMRSATORI!fR8duoqGZdD/iE5 2012-12-25 0:31

Two words: code review.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 0:31

Don't you have formal coding standards at your work? Why don't you report him/approach him for failing to adhere to the standards.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 0:34

>Why don't you report him/approach him for failing to adhere to the standards.

you, americans, are a nation of snitches

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 0:51

>>8
Cool story bro.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 0:56

>>8
nation of snitches
I have this faggot at work, who is a total ass
He writes shit code
Should I ... set him on fire
Such is the art of eloquent orator. Praytell, how do I master this art as you have?

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 1:52

>>10

you speak with two different people

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 4:50

>>11
An orator speaks to the crowd.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 7:45

Tell him, ``YAMETE, NOZUI GA ITTAI!''

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 8:58

``GRUNNUR''

Name: "GRUNNUR" 2012-12-25 11:22

"GRUNNUR"

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 12:36

Don't worry OP, he'll soon move up to management.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 12:54

I like to move it move it

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 15:49

Rape him and blow your hot POZ load into his asshole. All faggots deserve the fatal fucking; faggots who write shitty code even more so.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 16:14

gaslight him, very easy in IT

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 17:15

Plant CP on his computer.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 17:50

>>20
and this special brand of evil is why you should always use full disk encryption.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 18:40

Plant CP in a flowerpot and give it to him with a card that says ``Get Better At Programming Soon!''.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 19:24

>>22
Nice doubles, ``hombre.''

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-25 20:12

>>21
If that's the case, plant some printed out CP (from his printer, idiot, those things print invisible serial numbers) and put it under his bed. Then fuck up the data so he can't unencrypt it, then report that you saw him looking at it (anonymously). Even if the charges don't stick, he is ruined, and if they raid his home (likely), then they will find the pictures and he is ruined.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 3:27

>>24
Then fuck up the data so he can't unencrypt it
just backup the first few megabytes of the partition elsewhere.

also now I hate your guts.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 3:53


/*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
**************** ADD ONE TO i: TURBO C STYLE***********************************************************************************************************/
i=i+1;

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 12:29

>>25
As if the police are going to let you alter anything. They'll come in with with no-knock warrant at 3AM and seize everything at once. Even if that's a problem, its simple to knock a hole in the wall and drop a flash disk with a true crypt container with a simple password in.

Remember, possession of CP is a strict liability crime, much like having a kilo of coke; how it got there is irrelevant, the fact that it was there at all in the crime. It's also easy work for the DA.

also now I hate your guts.
Its not as if I have or ever would do this even to my worst enemy. I'm just saying that it can be done. Blame the laws that make it easy, not me.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 12:48

>>27
As if the police are going to let you alter anything.
You misunderstood (my fault, I wasn't specific enough), the idea is to back up (off-site) the first few megabytes of the encrypted volume such that even if the attacker destroys the cryptographic volume header and the filesystem superblock (rendering all the data unreadable), you can still give the police that back-up of the header so that they can recover the non-destroyed data on the hard-disk. Doesn't prove much, but at least it says "there's no sick fuck shit on my computer, so how about you consider that I might have been framed", similar to how not finding any drugs in someone blood could cast a shadow of doubt in a drug possession case. The no-knock warrant actually works in your favour, since it proves there's no way you could have altered the data beforehand.

Even if that's a problem, its simple to knock a hole in the wall and drop a flash disk with a true crypt container with a simple password in.
That does sound a lot easier. It would be possible to get DNA/fingerprint evidence on the flash drive, but the brutes with badges would probably destroy that evidence with their gloveless hands.

Remember, possession of CP is a strict liability crime, much like having a kilo of coke; how it got there is irrelevant, the fact that it was there at all in the crime. It's also easy work for the DA.
Unbelievable! The potential for abuse of such a law is so wide, one would have to be (metaphorically) blind not to see it.

Its not as if I have or ever would do this even to my worst enemy.
I agree, such an action would be incredibly fiendish.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 12:49

Here's my idea, stop being an autistic faggot and do your own fucking work while not being bothered by someone elses work. How's that for an idea you stupid ass hat.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 12:52

>>29
PHP ``programmer'' detected.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 17:46

>>30
No, That sounds like a master C and Haskell programmer.

Regardless, you all jailbait planters are all autistic egotists that can't grow a pair. You all should be doing >>2 and >>7. >>8 changed the topic completely and used the incorrect class. EU coders would do this, and in private as not to embarrass. You all have no decency, and your code most be shit.

Actually now thinking, it looks like all you jailbait planters are PHP coders. At the least >>30 is.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 18:38

>>29,31
fame mucking soron

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 20:26

>Should I like, set him on fire, or something?

The answer to this question is always yes.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 21:12

>>33
The answer to your ``meme quotes'' is always ``Back to /g/, please''.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 21:17

>>33
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLlEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLl
EGIN GRO

Name: >>34 2012-12-26 21:32

>>35
You too, insufferable kike.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 22:21

>>36
You too, cretinoid goy.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 23:12

>>36-37
oniiiiiiiiiiiiiiichan

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 23:34


i++; // add one to i, post incrementing

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 23:46

i++; // this line of code adds one to the variable named ``i'', using the post increment operator, which will evaluate to the pre-increment value of i. This is followed by a line terminator, and a comment explaining the code in detail

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-26 23:51

>>40
Excellent!

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 0:06

i++; // i++;

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 0:07

i++; //what am i doing with my life

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 1:02

>>42 I used to do that all of the time just to fuck with people.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 1:23

i++; //what theflying fuck is this shit supposed to be?
i = i+1; // add one to "i"

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 2:26

recursive comment is re-re cursy. plus 1 (incremented) 4 u.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 6:01

i++; //Thanks Adam

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 8:22

If it's on a line of its own I always write
i += 1;
instead of
i++;

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 9:02

i = new Integer(i.intValue()+1);

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 11:08

*i++;

Now what?

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 11:11

i++
Use ++i instead, it's slightly faster.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 11:13

>>51
I guess 80% of all c programmers will have a moment of doubt when seeing postfix ++.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 11:14

>>52
Or isn't that prefix? Fuck it got me.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 13:38

>>51
What the fuck are you talking about.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 13:56

>>51
Go jump in a fire, cretin.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 14:16

>>1
I had such a faggot colleague but then he left to assbook. I've heard he is mildly successful there. True story.
>>54
about shitty compilers, i presume.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 14:45

>>40
*slow clap*

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 15:38

>>57
*slowly pointing back to /g/*

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 16:38

>>58
EEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 16:42

>>59
back to /g/ please

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 17:05

>>60
LLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
>EGIN

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 17:07

>>61
back to /g/ please

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 17:38

LLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
>EGIN

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 17:57

>>63
back to automated posting with bash 101 please

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 18:08

LLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
>EGIN

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-27 18:11

>>65
You could have at least randomized your timeout.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-28 14:37

Call him a niggerslut.

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-28 15:36

>>67
*African-America Empowered Woman

Name: Anonymous 2012-12-28 16:56

>>68
*African-America Empowered Woman niggerslut
Don't change these.
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