An OPEN letter to Lambda A. Calculus

This really is too much, Lambda. Your obsession with C has dangerously eroded your sense of reality. Why don't you adopt a nice and healthy lifestyle like the rest of us?

Dennis Ritchie is dead, Lambda. He isn't communicating to you from beyond the grave. The sooner you understand that the sooner you'll get your life back on track.

You've finally gone crazy, Lambda.

Have you read your SICP today?

I like to count things.

Scheme
GC is shit.

>>3
Does it matter if I read someone else's SICP today?

>LLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
>LE SICP XDDDDDDDD
>EGINGWINGOINGOINGOIN GRO LELELELELE

>>7
I have no idea what you're trying to say.

>>8
SHIGGY DIGGY DIGGY DOO!

>>9
doo wop a shoo bop a wop bam boo

>>6
Their SICP is your SICP. Have you read your SICP today?

I hereby proclaim all copies of SICP are now mine. Have you read my SICP today?

>8 years after
>still reading 6.001's handbook
>forever noobz
>LLLLEEELLLLLLLLLL

>8 years after
>still reading 6.001's handbook
>forever noobz
>LLLLEEELLLLLLLLLL
Learn to quote, cretin.

>2013
>unable to distinguish quotes from egin meme arrows
>my LEL face when

>2013
>unable to distinguish quotes from egin meme arrows
>my LEL face when
Learn to quote, cretin.

>2013
>unable to distinguish quotes from egin meme arrows
>my LEL face when

>>16
Learn to differentiate /g/ imitating trolls from actual /g/tards and act accordingly. YHBT.

>>18
But how can you imitate one unless you go there in the first place. QED.

>>19
Imitate them as they have acted here, in the past.

You haven't put much thought into this, have you?

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>>20
But how do I tell that they're from /g/ and not some other place, having never been there myself?

>>22
EGIN DUBZ GRO

>>23
Why don't you gro up?

>>21
Ooohhh an ass made of little hearts this is so kawaiiiiiii! XD

>>25
actually, it a vagina.

>>22
By identifying the posts most people complain about.

Did someone say vagina? I really like vagina.

>>28
Our company will soon launch a vagina-flavored ice-cream. Would you mind answering this short survey?
1. How often do you eat ice-creams?
2. How often do you lick vaginae?
2-1. Which vaginae would you say have the best taste (age, race, hair color...)
3. Would you buy a vagina-flavored ice-cream?

>>29
1 - All the god damn time
2 - LOL
2.1 - Well, if it's ice cream, it'd better be Cirno flavor, so (loli, fairy, blue)
3. Have you been listening to a word I've fucking said? I'd buy the shit out of that ice cream!

>>30
No, you've got the wrong hole!

[m][Prog /challenge/]: Write an algorithm that determines whether or not a given poster has been to /j/ before.
Deadline: Now.
Reward: A Sussman[sup]TM[/sub] brand anagram generator.[/m]

drunk dubs

>>32
/prog/ challenge: Learn BBCode.

>>33
http://boards.4chan.org/b/

[quote][aa][m][b][u][i][o][s][sup][sub][spoiler]Challenge accepted.[/spoiler][/sub][/sup[/s][/o][/b][/m][/aa][/quote]

>>36
Poor thing.

I ♥ /pork/

>>10
Mup Da Doo Didda Po Mo Gub Bidda Be Dat Tum

[quote][aa][m][b][u][i][o][s][sup]_{Challenge accepted.}[/sup[/s][/o][/b][/m][/aa][/quote]

[quote][aa][m][b][u][i][o][s][sup]_{Challenge accepted.}[/sup[/s][/o][/i][/u][/b][/m][/aa][/quote]

[quote]^{_{Challenge accepted.}}[/quote]

[quote]^{_{Challenge accepted.}}[/quote]

[quote]test[/quote]

^{_{Challenge accepted.}}

[aa][m][b][u][i][o][s][sup][sub][spoiler]Challenge accepted.[/spoiler][/sub][/sup][/s][/o][/i][/u][/b][/m][/aa]

LEEV ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>42-44
Go the fuck back to Re/g//g/it.

That goes for you too, >>45.

>>32,36,40-45
Please stop this. You came to our country to murder us. Your shameful acts brought our /backplate getgoes/ upon you.

>>49
When sandniggers come to your country to murder you, you welcome them. So shut it up.

>>50
What do you have to back up that claim?

>>51
Xarn's blog.

Respond, Lambda. I demand a response to >>1.

>>53
GO SHUV UR MONKEY HAT UP UR ASS, SUSSMAN. UR JUST JEALOUS COS I'M A BETTER LISPER THAN U ARE.

>>54
shut up, faggot.

>>55
Y SO GLUM, PETER PANHANDLER?

>>55
YAINT RESPONDING SO QUICKLY NOW, ARE YA, YA FUCKIN PANHANDLING RETOID?

>>54
No one has or ever will be jealous of you about anything. You don't even have tenure at a prestigious school and you think you can talk back to the Sussman? You'd better watch it, a few calls or letters with MIT letterhead will have Guido or Matsumoto chairing the next C Standard committee.

>>56-57
turbo faggot

>>58
WATS FUNNY IS DAT YAINT EVEN AWARE OF DA RELATIONSHIP I HAVE WITH SUSSMAN. WHO DO U THINK GAVE HIM HIS FUCKIN MONKEY HAT?

You'd better watch it, a few calls or letters with MIT letterhead will have Guido or Matsumoto chairing the next C Standard committee.

A FINE ILLUSTRATION OF DA LAUGHABLE STATE OF DA C LANGUAGE. KEN TOMPSON'S PLAN 9 C COMPILER WAS DA LAST GOOD THING DAT HAPPENED TO C. PERIOD.

O, N LET ME SAY DIS:

NO1 GIVEZ A FUK ABOUT ALL DA GOOCHY PAPER U ACCUMULATE BY SITTING AROUND AT A FUCKIN SCHOOL ALL DAI LONG. THINK THAT WAY AND U'LL END UP LIKE ANDREW FUCKIN TANENBAUM: A COMPLETE DINGUS WHO REEKS OF FAILURE AND WASTES TIME ON USENET WHINING OTHER PEOPLES DESIGN CHOICES. HE GETS IN2 SHITTY ARGUMENTS WIT TORVALDS AND TRIES TO START SHITTY ARGUMENTS WIT DA PLAN9 DEVS. YET U PROBABLY THINK HE'S DA BEST THING SINCE SLICED BRED COS OF ALL DA PAPER HE GOT. WELL I GOT NEWS FOR U, JUNIOR: I'D SHIT ON ALL DAT PAPER JUST LIKE I SHAT ON DA STANDARD AT ONE OF DA COMMITTEE MEETINGS.

WRITE AWESOME PROGRAMS N HAVE FUN DOIN IT. WRITE CODE WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE N DEVELOP COLLECTIONS OF SOFTWARE. DAT'S DA WAY TO GO. LOOK AT FUCKIN RICHARD STOOLMAN. DATS BASICALLY WAT HE RECOMMENDS TO NEW PROGRAMMERS: JUMP IN AND WRITE USEFUL PROGRAMS, DON'T GET URSELF DOWN BY FUCKIN AROUND WITH SCHOOL.

YEA, I KNO, HE WROTE A LOT OF SHITTY CODE, BUT WHILE ALL YOU DIRTY FUCKERS FROM DA TECHNOLOGY BORD LAUGH AT HIM FROM UR SHITTY INTRODUCTORY CS COURSES (AHAHAH RICHARD STOLMAN DID SOMTHIN GROSS WOT A CREEP. AHAHAHA RICHARD STOLMAN SAY SWEAR WORD N START CRYING COS HE SPEAK DA RONG LANGUAGE WOT A CREEP. AHAHAH RICHARD STOLMAN SING A SONG WOT A CREEP), DA PROGRAMS HE STARTED R STILL USED BY FUCK-LOADS OF PEOPLE. CAN FUCKIN TANENBAUM CLAIM DAT? NOPE. CAN GERALD SUSSMAN? NOPE. (ALTHOUGH DA GUY'S MADE SOME AWESOME CONTRIBUTIONS NONE DA LESS) CAN UR WEAK, SKINNY, MONOTONOUS, HOSTILE ASS CLAIM DAT? HELL NO.

HOW ABOUT BRIAN KERNYAN, DEANIS RICKY, N KEN TOMPSON? U FUCKIN BET. COUNT ALL DA PROGRAMS WRITTEN IN C. COUNT ALL DA OPERATING SYSTEMS BASED ON UNIX. COUNT HOW MANY MACHINES USE DOSE SYSTEMS.

>>60
just shut the fuck up, faggot.

whats wrong with him

>>61
ILL DEAL WITH U LATER, PETEY PANHANDLER. :P

>>62
AY, >>53 WANTED A RESPONSE N I WAS KIND ENOUGH 2 GIVE HIM ONE.

IM JUST RESPONDIN TO A THRED DAT'S ADDRESSED TO ME (CHEK DA TITLE YA FUCKIN RETOIDS). U DONT SEE ME POSTING IN UR SHITTY JEW-BASHING THREDS, OR UR THREDS ABOUT DAT RETOID AND HIS CHRISTIAN OPRATING SYSTEM, OR UR THREDS ABOUT DAT KAWAII SAFARI SHIT. SO TAKE UR ANXIETY TO ANOTHER THRED N I GUARANTEE I WONT BOTHER U. SIMPLE AS DAT, YA FUCKIN SCHOOL GIRLS.

NOW SCRAM B4 I PULL UP UR SKIRTS AND SUSSMAN SHOVES A GIGANTIC PARENTHESIS UP UR ASSES

>>64
you're a cum guzzler.

>>65
NO, BUT IM DAM SURE IVE DONE MORE GIRLS THAN U'VE TALKED TO. U ALSO SOUND LIKE A SELF-LOATHING HOMOSEXUAL. TRY ACCEPTIN URSELF FOR WHO U R AND U'LL FEEL BETTER. QUIT PANHANDLIN TOO, DAT DOES SHIT FOR UR SELF RESPECT.

ANYWAY DATS ENUFF FOR NOW. ILL CHEK DIS THRED AGAIN LATER. ONCE I GET BORED WITH DIS THRED IM GONNA DROP OFF THIS WEBSITE AGAIN AND CLIMB SUM ROCKS. HAWAII'S A HELL OF A PLACE.

Is he like a real prominent person in the C community or just a retard couch vegetable with too much time on his hands and too little imagination? I mean, who would waste so much time to keep up this tripfag and his personality on a shitboard that no one reads? Why doesn't he get bored of playing this "L. A. Calculus" simulacrum?

Wow, Lambda, I was just joking with you. I had no idea you had such anger management problems. But that's okay, we I guess we aren't as good of friends as I thought. In fact, if that's how you treat your friends then I doubt you have any. Yes, I've heard of the incident when you jumped on the table at the committee meeting and deficated on the standard;no, it didn't impress me. It only cemented the evidence of your mental instability and hurt your image and goals.

I can tell that you are obviously mentally ill, but I am still finding it hard to forgive your lies. I know for a fact that Gerald was given his monkey hat as a reconciliation present by Julie when she cheated on him with Hal Abelson, at the CS department Hanukkah party in 1984. I'm not saying that you don't believe that actually gave him the hat, but in reality, you did not. And no, you are not Julie either, she would never utter the horrible things that have come out of your mouth.

Personally, I think it would do you some good to stop using the computer entirely. It is apparent that your only use of the Internet is to drive yourself into a foaming at the mouth rage at the smallest of things. Perhaps consider cutting the cord and burning all your hard copies of what you call `DA STANDARD' until you can manage to not give yourself a heart attack every time C is mentioned. If you can't do that, at least try to move away from C. The Python community is friendly and helpful and would be a low stress environment for you to heal your mind. Please, Lambda, get your life together.

>>68
Lost at `pyth[...]'.

To L.A. Calculus !!wKyoNUUHDOmjW7I: what's up? <3 youre the coolest poster around. I'll shed a fucking tear when I'll pop to /prog/ and I won't see your posts no longer.
(P.S. moots a fucking jew)
(P.S.2: I wish I'd promise I'll read the replies to my post. prolly not. why do I bother posting then?)

>>68
I had no idea you had such anger management problems.
EEEEEH EEEEEEEH EEEEEEEEH EEEEEEEH!!

It only cemented the evidence of your mental instability
HAHA. GO BAK TO UR PSYCHOLOGY BOOKS, YA FUKIN SCIENCE BOI. I BET UR GONNA PLAY PSYCHOLOGIST AND TRY TO FIT ME INTO ONE OF DA BOXES IN UR SILLY, TINY MODELS.

FROM WAT I'VE SEEN, DA RETOIDS ON 4CHAN USE A ONE-DIMENSIONAL BINARY (BETA N ALPHA) TO DESCRIBE ALL HUMAN BEHAVIOUR. ALL U PSYCHOLOGIST FUCKERS R HARDLY ANY BRIGHTER. LOOK AT FREUD'S MODEL: IT'S ONLY GOT 2 MORE DIMENSIONS, N EACH DIMENSION IS ONLY A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED THAN A FUKIN BINARY.

JUST LIKE DA LEFT/RIGHT WING POLITICAL MODEL (THO ORIGINALLY A SPECTRUM, IT'S OFTEN SHORTENED TO A BINARY BY DA SAME FUCKIN RETOIDS WHO CLING TO DA ALPHA/BETA LABELS (WHY DA FUCK WULD U DECIDE TO MAKE A MODEL LESS USEFUL? DER'S A REASON U DON'T CHANGE ALL UR floatS IN UR PROGRAMS TO boolS, YA FUCKIN RETOIDS.)) CAN'T REPRESENT COMMIES (FUCKS WHO WANT RESTRICTIVE MARKETS N RESTRICTIVE SOCIAL FREEDOMS), UR STINKIN' PSYCHOLOGICAL MODELS AINT GOOD NUFF TO DESCRIBE ME ACCURATELY, N DAT'S 4 DAM SURE.

HERE'S AN IDEA 4 A NEW ONE-DIMENSIONAL SPECTRAL MODEL THO: HOW MUCH R U LIKE LAMBDA ARTHUR CALCULUS? I'M +1.0 AND UR AUTISTIC, SCIENTIFIC ANUS, ALONG WITH ALL DA FUKIN STACK BOIZ WHO CANT REED A FUCKIN STANDARD N BASE DER UNDERSTANDING OF C ON TRIAL AND ERROR (JUST LIKE SUM1 WHO WUD USE A SCIENTIFIC APPROACH IN DA RONG SITUATION, LIKE UR ANUS), ARE -1.0.

hurt your image and goals.
IM HAPPY WIT MY IMAGE N ACCOMPLISHED ALL MY GOALS, THANK U VERY MUCH.

I can tell that you are obviously mentally ill
ACCORDING TO WAT PSYCHOLOGICAL MODEL, YA FUCKIN RETOID? IF U KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY U'D KNOW DAT U CAN'T GET AN ACCURATE IDEA OF A PERSON'S PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE JUST BY REEDING WAT DEY WRITE. ARE U AS SHIT A PROGRAMMER AS U ARE A PSYCHOLOGIST? NO REASONABLE PSYCHOLOGIST WUD MAKE DAT CLAIM WITHOUT LOOKIN DEEPER AT A PERSON.

I'm not saying that you don't believe that actually gave him the hat, but in reality, you did not.
SO WAT IF U DON'T BELIEVE ME? U CAN JUST GO AND ASK SUSSMAN. IM NOT STUPID ENUFF TO SAY DAT WAT HAPPENED TO ME IS "REALITY", COS I'M DESCRIBING WHAT I SAW, WITH MY OWN FUCKIN EYES, USING MY OWN FUCKIN WORDS. UR JUST A FUCKIN JACKASS WHO SHUD SHOVE A BUNSEN BURNER UP HIS ASS COS HE'S SO OBSESSED WITH DA "OBJECTIVITY" OF SCIENCE. DO SUM REEDING INTO QUANTUM MECHANICS YA FUCKIN RETOID. SHOWS U DAT EVEN CERTAIN SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS ARE SUBJECTIVE TO SOME DEGREE OR ANOTHER. AND U THINK UR RECOUNT IS "REALITY"? HAHAHAHAAHAHA. WAT A FUCKIN RETOID.

And no, you are not Julie either, she would never utter the horrible things that have come out of your mouth.
SHE MUTTERED WORSE THINGS DAT TIME SHE WAS RIDIN ON MY COCK.

Personally, I think it would do you some good to stop using the computer entirely.
NOT QUITE. IT DOES ME SUM GOOD TO TAKE BREAKS OFTEN N ENJOY MY HOLIDAY, BUT IF I WERE TO DO DAT HOW WUD I PRACTICE PROGRAMMING, YA FUCKIN RETOID? HAHAHA

It is apparent that your only use of the Internet is to drive yourself into a foaming at the mouth rage at the smallest of things.
IT AINT APPARENT: IT'S UR OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION MAKIN' UP BULLSHIT BASED OFF HOW I'M TYPING.

Please, Lambda, get your life together.
SO NOW UR TRYIN TO PLAY SUSSMAN? AAHHAHA

DO US ALL A FAVOUR: REED A FUKIN PSYCHOLOGY BOOK, DROP UR "OBJECTIVITY" TRIP, QUIT MAKIN RETOIDED ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT MY PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE/MOOD BASED OFF MI UNIQUE TYPIN STYLE, N GET DA FUK OUTTA MY THRED, YA FUKIN RETOID.

>>70
eat a bag of dicks, faggot.

>>71
Where does one acquire a bag of dicks? Are they just the shaft, or do they include the balls too?
Are they all the same kind, or are there variety packs?
Do you cook them, or just eat them straight out of the bag?
I need to know this information before I can successfully eat a bag of dicks.

This reminds me of a doujin on SadPanda I read that was about Marisa giving Patchouli some mushrooms that actually turned out to be alive. The mushrooms were penis-shaped and came alive and fucked Patchouli. I suppose you could call them magic mushrooms, though not in the typical sense.

The interesting thing is that they were able to circumvent traditional Japanese porn censorship laws that usually dictate that phalli must be turned into mosaics. The mushrooms, while very penis-like in nature, were not actually penises, and thus didn't get blurred or have those silly thin black lines placed over them. If you know what I'm talking about (SadPanda, the doujin itself, or the censorship stuff), you're too far gone and maybe it's time to consider taking a break from the internet.

>>72
Yes.

L. A. Calculus (!!wKyoNUUHDOmjW7I), if you don't mind me (and my boyfriend) have some questions about programming in C to make you. Can you allow us to make these questions to you?
thanks
with love