I'm gay

...but I don't want to be gay. How can I force myself to be straight?

Serious thread, by the way.

Posting in /prog/ because /lounge/ is broken.

Are you gay in a "I find vaginas disgusting" kind of way or a "I don't relate to women and therefore can't form a relationship with them" kind of way?

easily just tell yourself, " I use Haskall and lisp"

You must be a Lisp user. Try Python. That'll make you into man's man.

>>1
Kill your parents for being homophobes and become a masked, crotchless avenger.

Become asexual, it's easy. All you have to do is develop a hatred for humanity.

Every time I fart, the rotten smell of my anus permeates the air.

>>7
I think that's how farts work for everyone...

"I find vaginas disgusting"
That one. I like dicks.
"I don't relate to women and therefore can't form a relationship with them"
That's not really the problem, it's more of an issue of physical attraction.

>>1,9
you lucky faggot (literally). the probability of finding a same-minded partner given that you are homosexual programmer is so much higher than that of finding a same-minded partner given that you are a heterosexual programmer. fuck you, i envy you.

>>6
yeah, and then one random beautiful girl smiles at you just out of the blue and then you're reconsidering hating humanity, fucking it all up completely. yeah, no, doesn't work. you must first become so fat and hideous that nobody will ever offer you any sympathy. then maybe it will work. hopefully.

>>10
one random beautiful girl smiles at you just out of the blue and then you're reconsidering hating humanity
;_;

>>10

In response to the first part, having a programmer girl friend isn't what it's all cracked up to be. You'll most likely get in pointless fights about physics and math. If you ever program together, you'll wont be able to stop fighting about the design. Also programmers are all horrible people, and should never be trusted. They don't see you as an independent person, but as a faulty computing device that needs debugging. They'll install patch after patch, introducing their own bugs into your psyche. Soon, you wont remember what you were originally designed to do anymore. When the programmer decides to purchase a more fitting machine, you'll be deserted. To free yourself, you locate all the symbols she defined and you remove them, but you can never locate the constant valued macros she used. They remain as a part of you, asking you to carry out procedures for a user that has logged off forever, and every day, you display a password prompt that is never filled.

In response to the second part, all you have to do is hold a hatred against humanity and also make the assumption that humanity hates you. This will allow you to become oblivious to people reaching out to you, and you may in fact interpret their attempts as hostile acts with devious intentions.

>>12
Wow. Just wow.

>>12,13
samefag

>>14

nope

>>13
>>14
>>15

samefag

>>12
Before you read the remainder of my post, please keep in mind that the term ``programmer'' should be interpreted as ``computer scientist'', not ``code monkey'' nor ``some dumb halfwit smatterer''.

In response to the first part, having a programmer girl friend isn't what it's all cracked up to be. You'll most likely get in pointless fights about physics and math.
I never explicitly stated that she has to be a programmer -- merely someone with compatible ``brainwaves'' should suffice. To go even further, it would indeed be detrimental if both of us are programmers since then not much informational exchange would occur due to having equal knowledge and equal interests. The actual ideal is when one's interests do not coincide with one's knowledge, but instead coincide with the other's knowledge (and interests). To exemplify, I'd rather be with a passionate mathematician or physicist than with a programmer, since I am interested in those fields but only have partial knowledge of them. In reverse, a mathematician or physicist would naturally be interested in programming since it's an intriguing abstract field related to mathematics. Another factor is that I do not give a shit about anything but physics and math (whereas programming is a subset of math), so really, if that's not a common grounds of discussion between us, then nothing is.

In response to the second part, all you have to do is hold a hatred against humanity and also make the assumption that humanity hates you. This will allow you to become oblivious to people reaching out to you, and you may in fact interpret their attempts as hostile acts with devious intentions.
``All you have to do is remake the world, and I have more than enough power to make that dream come true.'' Yeah, no, distrust of humanity is a thing you must earn from bad experiences with others; you can't just say ``oh, from now on, I completely distrust everyone because everyone hates me'' because your logical mathematician mind would automatically reject the statement since you haven't really checked whether every single person on Earth truly hates you. Even if the one thousand people you've met by now have betrayed you in an awful way or outright scorned you, you still can't make any strong statement about the remaining seven billion. Face it, in order to truly hate and distrust humanity as a whole, you must lose your logical soundness.

>>14,16
samefag
That's an imageboard term. Please go back to the imageboards!

>>17

a mathematician or physicist would naturally be interested in programming

Unfortunately, most of the ones I've meet find programming to be tedious and they hate doing it, or they are only interested in learning it because it is useful for their work, and they'd like to know more about what is going on when they ask their tools to do the calculations. There are people with science backgrounds that are competent programmers and they engineer efficient and accurate simulations, though.

To exemplify, I'd rather be with a passionate mathematician or physicist than with a programmer, since I am interested in those fields but only have partial knowledge of them.

Cool, wanna fuck?

Face it, in order to truly hate and distrust humanity as a whole, you must lose your logical soundness.

To assume that the whole world hates you, yes, that doesn't quite make sense when most people haven't even come into contact with you yet. You could however create a model, and assign utilities to different interactions. If the expected result of interaction is rejection, or some other negative thing, then the expected utility of solitude may be better than the expected utility of putting yourself out there. However, you could put yourself out there and hit the jackpot. And the probability of hitting the jackpot can be higher than what many people think. However, given they have adopted hating humanity, the probability of hitting the jackpot is reduced, as they are less likely to put the required trust in their interactions, and the expected utility of interaction is low.

>>19
Unfortunately, most of the ones I've meet find programming to be tedious and they hate doing it
That's because statistically speaking, programming is tedious and most people do hate doing it, considering how many sadomasochistic programming environments exist and how widespread they are (in fact, I have yet to find one that isn't).

Cool, wanna fuck?
Sorry, I'm an unfortunately strictly heterosexual male, which means I'm very likely to die alone if I am to stick to what I said in >>17.

I do agree with the last part of your sage-less post.

>>20

Sorry, I'm an unfortunately strictly heterosexual male, which means I'm very likely to die alone if I am to stick to what I said in >>17.

That's cool. I'll ask again in a year or two when you are more desperate.

I do agree with the last part of your sage-less post.

Yeah, it's a vicious cycle isn't it? The only way out is to change your outlook on life.

>>21
That's cool. I'll ask again in a year or two when you are more desperate.
I have over 24GiB (and growing!) of accumulated heterosexual pornographic material, mirrored across several devices, and it seems to satisfy my sexual needs quite well.

Yeah, it's a vicious cycle isn't it? The only way out is to change your outlook on life.
I was only examining a hypothetical condition put out by >>6. Personally, I do not hate humanity, instead preferring the redirection of various unresolved conflicts with society towards myself -- not very sane, but it's certainly better than involving innocent bystanders. As for my own relation with the opposite sex, it is a rather complex psychological issue, involving strongly depreciated personal value (or so-called ``self-esteem'') and scepticism (justified, in my opinion) regarding the possibility of (psychological, interest-wise and ``brainwave''-wise) match with a potential partner.

>>1
1. Increase your testosterone http://www.timinvermont.com/fitness/boosttes.htm
2. get some girls as friends and make sure they're only friends and not potential mating partners.
3. Adopt an attitude where you feel superior to women in every way but always keep a humble and playful attitude.

24GiB (and growing!) of accumulated heterosexual pornographic material

So little that you could fit it on a pendrive.
Are you an queer!

>>10
Even though it's often easier and more fun to get along with guys than with girls, I wouldn't consider being gay lucky.
Still, have you considered converting yourself to bisexuality?

Why don't you guys just talk to a girl you like?

>>26
should I show her my pokemans collection

>>27
The likelihood of the exhibition being successful from an evolutionary point of view is very slim, however there are probably some girls that are into that sort of thing.

>>27
Pokemon is fairly mainstream now.

>>29
pokemon is gay

>>30
Every pokemon?

>>30
There's nothing wrong with being happy!

>>25
Nah, I find that repulsive despite that (logically) it would be beneficial.

>>26
There is no such thing as a girl /prog/ likes.

>>33
But I like Leah Culver and she likes me. She even posted a reply to us.

http://leahculver.com/dear4chan/4dogs.swf

>>12
To free yourself, you locate all the symbols she defined and you remove them, but you can never locate the constant valued macros she used. They remain as a part of you, asking you to carry out procedures for a user that has logged off forever, and every day, you display a password prompt that is never filled.

Oh god ;_;

>>34
what the fuck is this shit

>>36
+1