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MY NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 0:23

It's FUCKING AWESOME because IT'S EASY.

A common problem in most computer programming classes is the "Tower of Hanoi."  It's easy, but requires effort for noobs to figure out.  However, with this NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE, you can do the Towers of Hanoi in 1 KEYWORD:

TOWERS; # Towers of Hanoi

This one statement causes the NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE AWESOME RUNTIME (NPLAR) to display a graphically intensive, immersive Towers of Hanoi experience sure to knock the socks off of any entry level programming course teacher!

Less impressive is NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE's "Hello World" support.  The traditional "Hello World" program can be done in a single letter keyword, making it among the world's shortest Hello World programs.

H; # Hello, World!

NPLAR takes things a step further with it's SUPER ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY and will display "Hello, World" using your local system's advanced 3D graphics if available.  Future versions of the NPLAR will include sound and possibly video to enhance this experience and give beginners strong encouragement that their efforts will pay off.

I hope you all will like my NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 0:25

Oh, and there are EXCEPTIONS, despite what some TOTAL ASSFUCK may claim otherwise around >>3 or >>4.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 0:29

NO CONTINUATIONS

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 0:32

But does it support "everything is an object"?

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 1:57

Yup.


#INC npl.stdobj
#ALLOW OverrideBuiltIn;
CREATE TOWERSClass TOWERS;
CREATE HClass H derives_from TOWERS;
TOWERS.H # Graphically solve Towers of Hanoi problem, but instead of "discs" use the text "Hello, World" with maximum graphical effects supported by hardware.
DELETE H; DELETE TOWERS;

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 1:59

The neat thing about NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE is, when an object is destroyed, "explosion" effects using the systems graphic and audio capabilities is produced.  All this and more are featured in the NPLAR which will KICK YOUR ASS.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 2:13

But will I be able to modify the language itself at run-time?

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 2:18

>>5
Looks like a worse FORTRAN.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 4:34

bump

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 5:30

Is code treated as data? How is the macro facilities?

Name: dubzbot-ng 2011-07-04 5:30

:GJS1M 67dcbdbce4a0b67c4b48e86a6ae29205a95e4b83024a9d947213d1231800e8d9
:84 e5d7490fed89d68c90df879bb6aa9ae3
:1309753435 1309771819


>>7
<-- that's cool and all, but check my doubles over there

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 9:51

>>7

Yep.  With the OverrideBuiltIn directive it is possible to redefine language keywords and operators:


#ALLOW OverrideBuiltIn;
CREATE TOWERSClass TOWERS;
TOWERS<Constructor>=NPLAR_BYTE_CODE_OF(2) # 2 is H's "NPLAR Byte Code"
TOWERS; # Acts like H now.

# Other weird stuff
CREATE NPLAR_BYTE_CODE_OFClass NPLAR_BYTE_CODE_OF;
CREATE int NiceVariable=3;
NPLAR_BYTE_CODE_OF<Constructor>=NiceVariable;
# You just killed the "NPLAR_BYTE_CODE_OF" builtin function



>>10
Since NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE, for ENTERPRISE CROSS PLATFORM COMPATIBILITY AND ACCESSIBILITY reasons uses a "RunTime Environment," it is possible to generate and manipulate "NPLAR Byte Codes" in real time.


DIRECTBYTECODE 1; # 1 is the "NPLAR Byte Code" for "TOWERS".  This is the same as writing the statement directly
CREATE int TestVariable=1;
TestVariable; # Just specifying a variable will cause any "NPLAR Byte Codes" to be executed.
# An unknown "NPLAR Byte Code" will crash the RunTime so be careful.
# There might be secret and undocumented "NPLAR Byte Codes" to give me the ULTIMATE MARKET ADVANTAGE.


Use M4 for macros.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 9:57

>>1
Sorry to disappoint you, but you are not the first to invent such an AWESOME LANGUAGE: http://www.esolangs.org/wiki/HQ9_Plus

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 11:24

Check em dubs

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-04 12:31

>>13
http://www.esolangs.org/wiki/CHIQRSX9_Plus
Makes the programming language Turing-complete. How this is supposed to be achieved is not clearly specified. (The Perl implementation generates a random number, adds it to each character in the program, and interprets the resulting program code as Perl code.)
ALL CODE is VALID PERL CODE.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-05 7:37

Well, honestly, my NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE may not be original, but it's still AWESOME because of the FANTASTIC RUNTIME.

For example, did you ever want to program Crysis?  Well, you can with one simple command:

CRYSIS;

This single command invokes Crysis on your system.  If Crysis is not installed on your system, the runtime will contact several known Bittorrent-based sources, download and install Crysis automatically.  If it is determined your graphics hardware is insufficient to run Crysis, the CRYSIS command will instead download from various sources a series of MPEG videos which will at least display the game.  As a fallback CRYSIS will download a 256-color random screenshot from various sources and display this screenshot in the event even MPEG playback is not supported by your system.

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-05 10:41

>>16
back to /g/

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-05 11:01

>>17
that was actually pretty funny. go be a humourless autistic fagstorm somewhere else

Name: Anonymous 2011-07-05 14:22

>>18
Take your heinous idea of fun back to /g/ with you

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