/prog/ - QUICK! — World4ch

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:23

You only have 30 seconds!
Come up with an original programming joke!
Post what you come up with, no matter how terrible.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:25

NO EXCEPTIONS

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:25

Do you own comics, Randall.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:26

your

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:26

>> 1
Garbage collector

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:26

HURD? More like TURD!

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:29

How many autists does it take to come up with a programming joke?
Enough to fill this thread.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:29

What do you get when you have a team of college educated Java code monkeys, a great idea for a game, and autism? Minecraft

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:32

Programming in LISP is a lot like drinking Dr Pepper.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:34

>>8
amusing

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:37

In LISP, everything is packed into sets of ruthlessly complicated anii.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:39

"Professor, how do I get the computer to roll a dice?"
"Well, you must first build a robot for that."

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:39

Consider this: A pack of wild Niggers.
Savage, slavering Niggers nearing your white home. Trampling your white lawn. Raping your white daughter.
And you can't do shit since they're savages. The Nigger leader grabs your wife and fucks her with his shaman stick.
The primal Niggers finally dominate your household. They watch barbaric shows on TV and you are forced to be their slave.
Such is the downfall of White Man.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:39

_sepples

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:41

What's the C way to become rich? _{SEGMENTATION FAULT}

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:43

"So, Mr. Sussman, would you like to have gay sex in our butts?"
"Yes, Guido van Rossum, that would please me so."

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:47

So far, I only like >>8,11

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:47

I already made one up.

http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1299934829/9

Does it count?

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:50

A: *knock knock*
B: Who's there?
A: A package for Mr. Q. Sort. I just need your signature here.
B: Ord a => [a]->[a]

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:51

>>18
shit/10

Name: ..19 2011-03-21 7:51

fucking STONED when i mADE THIS JOKE

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:55

>>21
Hello, Xarn.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:58

OOP allows unlimited chickens from each egg, but all chickens'll be sterile.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 8:11

>>8 is inaccurate, it was only written by one guy.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 8:12

>>22
No, Xarn-kun would be §§fucking BEATING mY WIFE when i mADE THIS JOKE''.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 8:16

This is your mind when programming on Xarn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIN8Cm5rYXY

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 8:18

Marina Abramović - Balkan Erotic Epic -

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Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 9:03

>>26
My favorite part is when the guy just jacks off in the rain. A lone wolf.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 9:03

boooooobs :P

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 9:07

super(this)

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 9:42



UPLOAD VIRUS

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 10:52

>>23
Got me with
chickens'll

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 10:55

>>26
Vagina fish coffee
Oh wow

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 11:48

Python programmer tries to walk into a "bar", but then realizes walk(where) can't take a string as an argument.
C++ programmer walks into all bars.
Haskel programmer comes into a DEAD DOG.
Ruby programmer walks into a bar successfully, returns true, which is false, but integer.
Perl programmer does something, then something else and then he comes out of something, reeking of alcohol.
C programmer walks into a bar4ijv897d#@DGnij2#$^enfAF*$Hio#899020*^Hf%0f189scnie

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 15:39

>>34
ok

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 15:52

>>34
returns true, which is false, but integer
That's Perl.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 15:54

did you hear the one about the haskell programmer who got fired for being a lazy P.O.S? THERES NO HASKELL JOBS FUCK THIS SHIT

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 16:08

>>34
Ruby programmer walks into a bar successfully, returns true, which is false, but integer.

Isn't that Perl 6? True but False but Integer

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 16:15

>>36,38
http://perl6advent.wordpress.com/2010/12/19/day-19-false-truth/
Good Lord. Now there's a joke, and no mistake.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 16:34

>>39
Is truth really true? Is reality real? I don't even know who I am anymore.

Name: VIPPER 2011-03-21 16:39

>>40
Maybe you are VIPPER.
But if you are VIPPER, who am i?

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 17:12

>>30
Oh man, that was my joke! I came up with that like two years ago.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 17:23

cut dick off with rusty scissors !

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 17:25

>>38
But not two buts, right? Just trying to stay sane here.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 17:26

/prog/ is the joke.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 17:36

>>44

 0]=> perl6

 > my $anus = True but False but Int

 Bool::True

 >

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 18:05

>>46
That's what I expected. Good.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 18:58

>>47
Perl 6 can construct the infinite type ∀a∈∞T.a

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 20:10

>>48
Upvoted for nomads.

Name: Intentional failed multiquote 2011-03-22 4:00

>What is worse than holocaust?
>Using free bcc 5.5.1 in 2011.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 8:35

If someone were to give the worldwide programming community an enema, they'd stick the tube up Leah Culver.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 9:04

>>50
Whats wrong with holocaust?
it never happened.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 10:56

>>52
it never happened
hello im hitler the nazi join my community of jew and if you payme enough ill give you access to my secret area of holocaust ;)

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 12:36

A distich about your career growth:

Today you program stuff in bash
But tomorrow you program stuff in bash

Name: >>54 2011-03-22 12:37

>>54
Oh, it's a joke thread... sorry I forgot, are there any serious threads?

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 13:35

>>55
You're life am an joke.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 14:38

Did you hear the one about the Windows computer they left at the North Pole?

It's frozen.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 14:40

Did you hear the one about the Windows computer they left at the South Pole?

It's void.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 14:49

What did the Haskell programmer say to the Rubyist?

I have cancer

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 18:37

what do you call a programmer who doesn't understand the underlying machine model, doesn't understand the domain, doesn't understand the idioms used by the language or api and who writes software in the same way that a blind man explores a room filled with furniture?

Boss or coworker, depending on seniority

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-22 18:54

what did the Forth say to the Java?

glorified S" cocks" ;

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 5:53

http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=2056426&cid=35632854

Name: HMA MEME FAN 2011-03-28 6:03

HAX MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 6:58

What did the Lisp programmer say to the Python programmer? Thhhhhhhhh!

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 12:25



                              /\/\/\/\        

                             /       /        

                            (. (.  )          

Console.WriteLine("Yo!")    (      ]          

                   \        /____  /          

                             \     |          

                             /-----\          

                           / /     /  \       

                         / \/       \/  \     

                       / / /           \  \   

                     ((()  /__________\ (/\)))

                           /         \       

                           |    /\    \      

                           ----| |----       

                           |__ |  \__ \      

                          {____|   {___}     

                   =======================/  

                      (o)           (o)

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 12:48



                              /\/\/\/\        

                             /       /        

                            (. (.  )          

Console.WriteLine("Yo!")    (      ]          

                   \        /____  /          

                             \     |          

                             /-----\          

                           / /     /  \       

                         / \/       \/  \     

                       / / /           \  \   

                     ((()  /__(^______\ (/\)))

                           /   \\    \       

                           |   00    \      

                           ----| |----       

                           |__ |  \__ \      

                          {____|   {___}     

                   =======================/  

                      (o)           (o)

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 14:09

>>67
amusing

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 15:09

>>67
anusing

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 20:17

>>67
arousing

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 20:21

Java. That's the joke.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 20:24

>>71
Best joke in this thread.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 21:17

int main(){void *you;}

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 21:19

int main(){int SICP_IS_FOR_FAGS =1; while(SICP_IS_FOR_FAGS){}}

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-28 21:55

polarities polarity pole poleaxed poleaxes polecat poled polemic polemical polemicist polemics poles poleward police policed policeman policemen

see?!

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-29 1:19

>>74
Cosmic rays of Truth will flip that bit faster than you can say “cake.”

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-29 1:38

>>76
int main(){int SICP_IS_FOR_FAGS = -1; while(SICP_IS_FOR_FAGS){}}

WHAT NOW FAGGOT

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-29 4:02

Recurse(noun):Ccursing your program again and again.

QUICK!

1 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:23

2 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-21 7:25

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41 Name: VIPPER 2011-03-21 16:39

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64 Name: HMA MEME FAN 2011-03-28 6:03

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79 Name: 2012-01-25 23:03

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Name: VIPPER 2011-03-21 16:39

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Name: >>54 2011-03-22 12:37

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Name: HMA MEME FAN 2011-03-28 6:03

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Name: 2012-01-25 23:03