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Dont Bite The Devs

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 15:21

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Do_NOT_bite_the_developers

    * On Wikipedia Developer Tax Returns they claim the entire Wikipedia community as their dependents.[1]
    * Devs don't make mistakes—you do.
    * There is no developer cabal. As far as you know. Fnord
    * If you wake up in the morning and get on Wikipedia, it's because the developers spared your life—for now.
    * The devs can reprogram the Wikimedia servers...with just a cordless phone, an old gum wrapper, some expired milk, and a ball of lint.[2]
    * There are three leading causes of death among users. They are all developers.
    * The devs can pop out of your computer screen and eat you alive.
    * Developers do not sleep. They wait.
    * We have only 3 users who have their own days. All of them are developers
    * Even Doug Piranha fears the developers.
    * Be careful when you approach the developers because they are not afraid to use their tools.
    * Developers can divide by zero. (If they happen to be using C, of course, this may crash the site.)

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 15:34

Wow. I've missed this gem somehow. Anyone who can claim Dwm does not deserve its own page and this...policy thing does is huge hypocrite.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 15:37

This is so silly, i should quote it entirely:
Wikipedia:Do NOT bite the developers
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Decree.png     This is an official decree by the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It is irrefutably obligatory and is to be considered equivalent to a religious belief that all users are to follow. When editing this page, please ensure that your revision reflects the supreme wishes of the Supreme Cabal. When in doubt, discuss first on the talk page.    
Shortcut:
WP:BITED
This decree in a nutshell:
No Wikipedia editor should cause offence to the developers. The consequences are far too grim to even think about.
Wikipedia policies
Article standards
Neutral point of view
Include only verifiable information
No original research
Citing sources
What Wikipedia is not
Working with others
Assume good faith
Civility and etiquette
No personal attacks
Resolving disputes
Do NOT bite the developers

Wikipedia improves through not only the hard work of more dedicated members, but also through the important work done by the developers of MediaWiki. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be reading this. You'd probably be editing Wikipedia from the command line over a teletype.

IN DESCENDING ORDER OF IMPORTANCE

   1. Flying pigs
   2. Jimbo
   3. Brion
   4. Staff
   5. Developers
   6. Stewards
   7. The admins
   8. People that hang out on #wikipedia all day and have ~15 edits
   9. Bots
  10. Wikipedia editors
  11. Anonymous users (the few who aren't vandals)
  12. Poop
  13. Vandals
  14. Cockroaches
  15. Sock puppets

Developers are therefore one of our most valuable resources. We must treat developers with kindness and patience – nothing scares developers faster than a lack of elitism. While many devs hit the ground running, some just don't know how to cope.
Contents

    * 1 Please do NOT bite the developers
    * 2 Fun Developer Facts!
    * 3 If you're a dev who has been bitten
    * 4 Notes
    * 5 See also

[edit] Please do NOT bite the developers
Devs' ears can be particularly sensitive.

    * Understand that developers are the only thing needed by Wikipedia. The only reason you wake up each day is because the devs let you live. By empowering the developers, we protect ourselves by convincing them not to kill us all.
    * Remember, our motto is the devs are better than you. We have a set of rules and standards and traditions, but they must not be applied to the developers. If we scare off the developers they might kill us all—or worse—stop adding in cool features like YOUR USERPAGE zOMG.
    * If you do determine, or sincerely believe, a developer has made a mistake, such as forgetting to put )'s at the end of his code and causing fatal parse errors on the Main Page, be quiet. They're listening.* If you really feel that you must say anything at all to a developer about a mistake, or anything else, don't. Instead try to convince some poor fool who hasn't read this page someone else that there's an issue which should be brought to the attention of the developers. If you're feeling kind hearted, you can advise them to do it on their hands and knees begging for forgiveness for inhabiting the same planet, then get them to follow up by introducing themselves with a grovel on the developer's talk page to let the developer know that they wish to ask for an appointment to present their case calmly. If you can't arrange for someone else to do it, then it is better to say nothing.
    * Note that it is a common misconception that some developers do not have total control over the entire Wikimedia cluster, and may in fact only have Subversion access and not the capability to delete your user account. This is a dangerous and foolhardy rumor that may cost you your life, or at least those 2,000 vandalism reverts.

[edit] Fun Developer Facts!

    * On Wikipedia Developer Tax Returns they claim the entire Wikipedia community as their dependents.[1]
    * Devs don't make mistakes—you do.
    * There is no developer cabal. As far as you know. Fnord
    * If you wake up in the morning and get on Wikipedia, it's because the developers spared your life—for now.
    * The devs can reprogram the Wikimedia servers...with just a cordless phone, an old gum wrapper, some expired milk, and a ball of lint.[2]
    * There are three leading causes of death among users. They are all developers.
    * The devs can pop out of your computer screen and eat you alive.
    * Developers do not sleep. They wait.
    * We have only 3 users who have their own days. All of them are developers
    * Even Doug Piranha fears the developers.
    * Be careful when you approach the developers because they are not afraid to use their tools.
    * Developers can divide by zero. (If they happen to be using C, of course, this may crash the site.)

[edit] If you're a dev who has been bitten

Consider this a license to kill.

   1. Proactively choose to wipe this incident from the database.
   2. Consider alternatives to killing people, such as talking. Discard them as worthless.[3]
   3. Point out that you're the only reason they continue to exist. Then kill them.
   4. Make it look like suicide by INSERTing a suicide note in an appropriate place.[4]

[edit] Notes

   1. ^ They never get audited because the auditors are devs too.
   2. ^ MacGyver still occasionally commits new features to subversion.
   3. ^ A witty post-death quip, however, is totally appropriate and is even lauded. Some prior examples: "guess nobody's gonna be patching those holes" and "I think we can mark your kludge of a life as FIXED." Always be sure to add an evil chuckle and/or hand writhing at the end, time permitting.
   4. ^ Due to frequent use, this has been streamlined as of revision 2231; simply run the following on the database server: `/usr/local/bin/suicidenote -w <wiki> -u <username> -t <gnu datestamp>` and the rest is done automagically.

[edit] See also

    * Wikipedia:Do not insult the vandals
    * Wikipedia:Do not feed the trolls
    * Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Do_NOT_bite_the_developers"
Categories: Wikipedia Cabal Decrees | Wikipedia essays | Wikipedia humor | Humorous Wikipedia essays | Wikipedia essays giving advice

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 15:39

>>3
Thanks, for both your wonderful quoting skills and enabling us to read the entire article, unformatted, without having to go through the laborious task of clicking OP's link.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 15:43

>>2

Somehow I think you've missed the joke this article was trying to make.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 15:44

>>4
They will eventually change their policy page to something less silly, and this version will remain here, even if they delete all their wiki copies.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 16:03

>>6
There's already hundreds of mirrors/internet archive you silly goose!

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 16:07

>>7
Can you count on them, say in 5-6 years?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 16:11

>>8
and can you count on world4ch?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 16:16

>>9
Check out threads from 2005-2006

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 16:48

bite my anus

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 16:48

>>10
moot's selling

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 17:04

>>13
 do you think they would delete dis.4chan.org archives?

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-18 17:29

fuckin Brion

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-19 3:21

Counter systematic bias by deleting other articles as well. (When people accuse you of systematic bias). --Association of Deletionist Wikipedians

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-19 3:26

>>15
[edit] Code of Deletionism

   1. Thou shalt not create an article that knowingly violates WP:NOT, WP:N,WP:V, WP:OR, or WP:NPOV.
   2. Thou shalt not tolerate an Inclusionist to include worthless screed, lest we become a fucking Uncyclopedia.
   3. Thou shalt not tolerate an Eventualist to put off deleting a sourceless, badly written, original research laden article about a garage band's guitarist simply because they scream WP:IGNORE.
   4. Thou shalt not ever resurrect, recreate or reanimate that which has been deleted. It has failed and burns now forever in Bad Article Hell, profane not our Wikipedia with such again.
   5. Thou shalt not hesitate to apply the Speedy Deletion Tag, but only after making damn sure the article you are tagging REALLY fits the criteria.
   6. Thou shalt not delete an article only if it's consensus admits fulfills WP:NOT, WP:N, WP:V, WP:OR, and WP:NPOV.
   7. Thou shalt not apply thy banhammer to newbies, but obligatory attempt to guide them to Articles for Creation.
   8. Thou shalt not bite the newbies, even if they are creating for-shit articles, for they are the future.
   9. Thou shalt not be a WP:DICK to prove your WP:POINT, but you will be WP:BOLD as a lion to stand up for what is Holy and Proper to be Deleted.
  10. Thou shalt obey Wikipedia:Profanity :-) and update this section or delete it :-)

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-19 4:12

In any bureaucracy, the people devoted to the benefit of the bureaucracy itself always get in control and those dedicated to the goals the bureaucracy is supposed to accomplish have less and less influence, and sometimes are eliminated entirely.

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-19 4:28

hey guys let's just delete wikipedia and start putting useful information on sites we don't share with retards

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-19 9:22

>>17
Truth

Name: Anonymous 2010-03-20 3:42

>>17
QFT

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-26 12:01

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:03

<-- check em dubz

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 8:12


Can a Husband Annul Wife's Vows Before Rosh Hashanah?

Wednesday, August 14, 2013/Elul 8, 5773

A person who wishes to have his vow annulled must come himself before the Beth Din. He cannot appoint an agent or even write a letter expressing his regret at having made the vow, but must appear himself. If he and the Beth Din do not speak the same language, he may use an interpreter, provided that he himself is present. A husband may appear before the Beth Din on behalf of his wife, however, since they are considered to be the same person. The wife must explain the details of the vow that she regrets, to her husband, and he repeats it to the Beth Din.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 8:30


Qiddush in One Corner and Meal in Another

Friday, August 2, 2013/Ab 26, 5773

When mentioning the fact that one must make Qiddush where one is eating the Shabbath meal, Maran, z"l adds in the Shulhan 'Arukh, that moving from one corner to another, in the same room, is considered remaining in the same place. As such, if one makes Qiddush in one corner of a room and then goes and eats in another corner, even in a large hall, one does not have to repeat the Qiddush. This is in accordance with the Rambam and the Rosh. The Rif and others disagree, however. The Aharonim write that even Maran, z"l, agrees a priori, that one should not do so.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 8:48


The remaining letters of the word Tamim, form the word Mayim (water). The Torah is likened to water, because just like water has the quality of always flowing down to the lowest level, so too, the true Torah can only be found among those who are truly humble.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 9:06


Conditions for Annulling Vows on Shabbath

Tuesday, August 13, 2013/Elul 7, 5773

Since, as we mentioned previously, no judgments are actually handed down by the Beth Din when annulling vows, there are some leniencies that result. We noted that a relative may be one of the three members of the Beth Din and that the annulment may take place at night or on Shabbath, none of which may be done in cases where judgments are handed down. Annulling vows or oaths on Shabbath, however, have specific conditions attached. The annulling of the vow or oath which is to take place may only be done if it is for the purpose of Shabbath. For example, if one made a vow not to eat and now wishes to eat, such a vow may be annulled on Shabbath.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 9:24


The young Yosef answered that Habdalah shows the distinction between the holy and the profane, Israel and the nations of the world and the Shabbath and the rest of the week, which proved that he had an understanding of the subject. His father, however, was not satisfied with this answer. He would ask him one more question before deciding.


"Why" he asked, "is the order of Habdalah that first there is the wine, then Besamim (scent), followed by the candle and at the end Hamabdil (separation)?". Since the separation is the most important, should it not have come right after the wine? The young Yosef thought about it for a moment and answered that his father himself had taught him that the essence of a Jew is to strive to constantly grow. For that reason we start with the mouth (wine), then go up to the nose (scent), then go further up to the eyes (looking at the flame), and finally, the blessing of separation which is connected with understanding, which is the brain. The father was astonished by his eight year old son and let him hold the candle.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 9:43


It is possible to annul more than one vow at a time as well as to annul vows for more than one person at a time. If annulling multiple vows one changes the phrase from the singular form of "Muttar Lakh" (it is annulled for you), to the plural form of "Muttarim Lakh" (they are annulled for you). When annulling for multiple people, the form of the second person, "Muttarim Lakh" (they are annulled for you [singular]), is changed to "Muttarim Lakhem" (you [plural]).

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 10:01


How and When Can Vows Be Annulled?

Monday, August 12, 2013/Elul 6, 5773

A vow or an oath can actually be annulled by simply saying just once, "Muttar (Muttarim) Lakh" (let it [them] be permitted to you). Nevertheless, the custom is to say it three times to reinforce the matter. Nowadays we say it three different ways, "Muttar Lakh" (3 times), "Mahul Lakh" (3 times), and "Sharooi Lakh" (3 times). These are all expressions of annulling vows. In fact, one may use any expression which is understood to express the annulling of vows.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 10:19


After his passing on the 13th of Elul, 5669 (1909), his son Hakham Ya'aqob Hayyim, 'a"h, spoke in the Great Synagogue. Though he spoke as loudly as he could, the majority of the crowd assembled there could not hear him properly. They asked the Hakhamim gathered there to ask Hakham Ya'aqob to please raise his voice. He commented in his Derasha, that even though his father's voice was heard by all those assembled there, including people outside, such a thing was not possible for a human being. This, he said, was evidence that it was the Shekhinah speaking through his throat.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 10:36


This applies in a case where the oath was made only about the specific commandment, such as an oath not to eat Massah (מצה), on the night of Pesah. If however, included in the oath were matters that one was permitted to take an oath over, such as taking an oath not to eat Massah at all, then it applies also to Pesah. The reason is that since the oath is valid, insofar as eating Massah the rest of the year is concerned, it is also valid on Pesah.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 10:55


Are Torah Scholars Required to Annul Vows?

Sunday, August 11, 2013/Elul 5, 5773

Nowadays, three men are required to annul a vow or oath. For the purpose of annulling vows and oaths, the men do not need to be Torah scholars or experts. However, they may not be 'Amei Ha-ares (ignorant). The rule is that they must, at least, be able to understand if they are taught. In other words, if they are taught Halakha (laws), they will comprehend what they have been taught, even though they may not be able to learn them by themselves.

Name: Rabbi Ya'aqob Menashe 2013-08-31 11:13


If this occurs during the day of Shabbath, one should say the verses of the Qiddush before Netilath Yadayim (washing one's hands) for the meal, without the blessing on the wine. One should then have in mind that the blessing on the bread is in place of the Qiddush, in the same way that one does it whenever one recites Qiddush over bread.
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